When I lost my husband a couple years ago, it was really tough. Losing friends, loved ones from my 20s onward, it would just compound that PTSD and I had no release to get rid of it. Welcome to the Overcoming PTSD podcast. My name is Brad Schiffke. I am so excited for today's interview and podcast for you today because I interviewed one of our clients, Teresa Hall, who made it an incredible transformation. She fully recovered from the grief and the loss of her husband.
And I really got, I'm really excited to share this with you because I've really dug into all of the nitty gritty tactics and strategies and tools and mindset and beliefs and principles that allowed her to fully heal. And I believe you will get a lot of value out of this because she is somebody who fully healed. And hearing somebody's story who not only went through tremendous hardship, ship, but came out the other side successful, that's where you can learn so many lessons.
And that's why I want to do these podcasts is not to just share traumatic stories, but share you stories of people who hit the pit rock bottom, hit their lowest, the lowest point of their life and came back from it 100%. So I hope this interview inspires you. It inspired me. I'm pumped up. Dive in and enjoy. Welcome, Teresa. Great to have you here on the podcast. I'm so excited to interview you.
I know we've known each other for a long time, obviously, but I'm excited to dig into your story, learn the lessons. And I think a lot of people who are listening right now will get a lot from your story because you were in a pretty broken place, as most of us were, and now we're fully recovered, right? And for those of you who don't know, Teresa was a client of ours.
So, Teresa, where were you before all this happened? And so like, tell us, tell us like a little bit about your story beforehand, like when you had PTSD, how you got PTSD and things like that. I think my PTSD started as a young child. I was lucky enough to have my grandparents into my 20s before I started losing them. But I would have dreams about death, so I always had a fear of death. And then when the inevitable finally came, I was basically told that my grief was not important.
So I never learned how to properly grieve for anyone. So then when I lost my husband a couple of years ago, it was really tough. And that just added to the PTSD. So, you know, losing friends, loved ones from my 20s onward, it would just compound that PTSD that I would have. And I had no release to get rid of it. So it all just compounded, so to speak. So you just, you had this fear of death and then you lost person after person after person and it just was pent up inside of you, right? Yeah.
Yeah. That grief just built and built. Yeah. And I was never one to release emotions. So not knowing how to release emotions didn't help it either. Yeah. Which as we learned was a huge part of it, right? Right. Like when you were finally able to access those emotions, it changed everything, right? Yeah. Yeah, that was the biggest part of my PTSD was not only not knowing how to grieve, but not knowing how to safely release the emotions to go along with the grief.
And a lot of it's the same thing, right? Yeah. Because if you're told that your grief wasn't important or your emotions weren't important, then it's all just stuck inside of you and the grief will stay inside of you, right? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So what about, like, what was your biggest, so if releasing emotions was one of the biggest things that helped you along your journey, right? Yeah. What prevented you from releasing your emotions in the beginning?
Why was it so important? Then how did you actually get yourself to do that? Because that's a big sticking point for a lot of people. You know, like a lot of people find themselves, I sure did, where your entire life, you push emotions down, you push emotions down, you invalidate them or other people invalidate them and you never truly get to express them or you're scared to express them. So how did you, you know, go through all that? Well, mine's kind of a twofold thing. One was...
Getting into the Broken to Unbreakable program and actually doing the work. Now, I would say that for me, it's going to sound weird, but having routines in place was a big first step. Because that allowed me time to actually sit down, journal, do some healing work through protectors and introspective healing. Between those three things and having the routines in place where I had a set time that I could go in and actually sit down and work through everything.
That that probably helped me the most okay so setting setting aside that time so that you could focus specifically on your healing so you weren't doing that before no right why no i didn't know that that how important that was you know i did not know how to heal Now, I'm lucky enough that I have a therapist who was telling me the same thing that the program was, but it took months of listening to you and Kayleen talk about the importance
of routines and months of hearing my therapist talk about it before it finally sank in. That if you really want to heal, the first step is to have a good routine. Yeah. To actually put in the time, right? Yes. And that's something I wanted to talk about too, your therapist, because something, it's actually unusual, which I wish it wasn't unusual, but an unusual thing is finding a good therapist.
So I do want, I actually, that's something I wanted to talk to you about on the interview too, is like, I wanted to dig in to what made your therapist therapist so good, the things that they did. Because a lot of times when people join the program too, they're with a therapist and sometimes the person who's actually healing is outpacing and outlearning their therapist very quickly.
But it seems like the therapist that you had really kept you on the same level and had the goal of full recovery, which unfortunately, again, is not a goal of many therapists as well. So I do want to dive into that, but I still want to keep digging into the routine thing because that was really important for you, taking the time. So like I asked, you know, why didn't you do it before? Cause a lot of people don't do it before, or like a lot of people don't take the time to actually do.
Put in the work, whatever the work is, even if it's just journaling, even if it's just thinking, right? Because really, like you said, introspective healing, that's a tool that we teach in the program. But really, that's just a way of logically thinking and putting yourself into that dark place and logically thinking through it and making sense of it and finding out why it's happening. But a lot of people don't do that. So you said you didn't know that it was important.
Was there also an element of fear? And maybe that fear came from, like you said, not knowing the Or was it really just like you were unaware of, hey, this thing is really impacting me and I need to spend time to fix it. And it's that important. You know, I was, I was signed up into the program for almost a year before I really delved into it. And a lot of it was fear. Yeah. You know, what would happen if, you know, I actually found my true self.
Now, you know, you and Kayleen talk about this in the program, you know, we're, we're negative people by trait. We've always got that fight flight response. And that comes from the prehistoric times, you know, with you had to find your food, you had to do this. And, you know, it was a, for me, it was kind of that same response. Why do I want to change the way I am? Why should I stop being negative? I've been this way all my life and it's worked so far.
But I can tell you now when those negative thoughts crop in and pop up in my head, it's like I ask myself a couple basic questions. I don't know exactly how many. First question is, is this a justified response? And if it's not turn it into a positive response if it is justified i ask myself what can i learn from this and then once i write down the lesson to learn i keep writing it down until it becomes a positive. When you say you keep writing it down until it becomes a positive,
like the lesson is like ingrained in you. Is that what you mean? Okay. Yeah. Because that's a great process right there. Right. I mean, for anybody listening, like, what do you mean by, is this justified? Like, is this a rational way to view this, this experience or is this thought a rational thought? Yeah. Right. So like, is this thought justified? Is this thought rational? If it's not rational, what do you do? Because you said, if yes,
you said, what can you learn from it? If it's not a rational thought, like, okay, let's say you trip and fall. And you get up, the first word that would come to my mind is, I'm a klutz. Well, you know what? That's not true. I'm not a klutz. I just tripped and fell. It's no big deal. Yeah. Objectively, just tripped and fell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, next time I'll be looking for, I'm going a little bit more careful. Okay. That type of, you know, that's not a justifiable response now then.
And, you know, a justified response was you make a mistake at work. Now, and, you know, what my response would be, well, that was a dumb thing to do. And the response would be, well, was that a justified response? Like, yeah, it was kind of justified. So what lesson can we learn to make sure we don't make that mistake again? See, that's... It's interesting the way that you put that too, because a lot of people would say like, what did you say? I did something dumb, right?
I did something dumb. They would say that that's not justified. Well, but you made, yeah, but you made the mistake. So, right. But that's the, that's the important piece there because you're acknowledging the mistake, right? Whether or not somebody wants to call it dumb or not, whatever, you know, mistake. I did something wrong. I did something dumb, but you're just acknowledging the reality, right? right? Of the situation, which makes it rational. Yes.
And the way that you said that, I think other people can interpret it as, oh, you're beating yourself up, but you're not, you're just taking that, like your mistake, viewing it objectively and be like, yes, I did make a mistake, accepting it, not beating yourself up, not causing more suffering for yourself, asking yourself what you can learn from that. Right.
And then that's what you would take can write down again correct yeah so that's awesome so if you ask is this justified or is this true or is this rational and it's no you look at it you try to look at it objectively right yes this is what it seems like you try to remove the emotions and just see the truth so try to cut through all the fog do you have like a strategy in doing that or Or is it kind of just second nature to you?
Now it's second nature. At first it was, I would have to go through and kind of put that on the back burner, say, yes, I know I made a mistake. And I will deal with that during my healing routine. And then whenever the time came to deal with it, I would sit there and I would have to actually sit down and ask the questions. Okay, so what circumstances led to this mistake? What can we do to fix it for the next time?
You know, it was a long process that it took me several hours to actually finally, and lots of trial and error to get to a process that actually worked for me to, you know, kind of shorten it. But it was, you know, it was because I had the same problem was, well, it's not my fault. Right. I was given the wrong information. Right.
No, it's so-and-so's fault. it's this person's problem not mine but you know that never really helped me so you know, I had to sit down and I had to go through the kind of the blaming everyone else before it came down to, well, yeah, you know, you may have been given wrong information. Yeah. You know, this person could have explained things better. But the ultimate person was, did I ask the right questions to clarify before I started doing this?
So that's basically yeah yeah so in the beginning it was a it was a very much it was it was a much more manual process that you had to go through the time that you already dedicated and set aside so you already had that routine in place so when you face this event in your life which i imagine is that like a trigger so like you get triggered and then do you ask yourself oh definitely you You have this emotional response and that's when you ask,
is this rational or is this true or is this justified? And if it's not, you made note of that and then dealt with it later during your set aside routine. And in the beginning, it was much more like you had to really think through it because you had the habit of, you know, basically advocating your own responsibility or putting your responsibility onto somebody else.
It's their fault, you know, they're to blame, you know, they gave me the wrong information, which, you know, that's where a lot of people start to on, on recovery. And as you learned, I had to learn it myself too. It's like you eventually, like when that's your strategy, you eventually get to a point where it's like, well, everything just keeps getting worse. And I keep doing this strategy.
So maybe I should try to do something different. Maybe I should try to take some responsibility and like you did earlier, not beat myself up. Well exactly and that that right there is something that's very hard for people starting out to do some people not not everybody but you're you're very rational i always enjoy talking to you because you're always a very rational person but having that balance between i need to acknowledge reality.
Which can sometimes mean i did something wrong and i made mistakes a lot of times it is like humans we're fallible we make we make mistakes and if we can't accept that we make mistakes Then we can't fix those mistakes. And what happens is a lot of people can't even admit that they make mistakes because they beat themselves up so much for, for making them that they're so afraid of even admitting it because of that pain because of beating themselves up.
So then they never admit that they have any faults and they never fixed those faults moving forward. And that's something that you were able to do with that line of questioning. Yeah. And also you said that, so in the beginning it was, it was very manual and then it became automatic, but you said that it was. How did you put it? You had to go through a process of trial and error, right?
To compress it, right? To the point where right now you can just view something and know, or go through the process really quickly, which is, that's another really cool thing too, because it's a skill over time, just like riding a bike or anything else. And a lot of people don't think of like mental skills in that way, where it's like thinking rationally is a skill and it takes time.
Just like if you put, you know, a five-year-old on a two-wheeler bike, you're not going to expect expect them to, you know, win the tour to France. It's like, you know, they're going to fall over probably immediately. Right. So what was that process like for you? Was it, was it challenging or was it just something that you just kept plugging away at?
Because that's a big part of it. I found too, is like, there is that, that element of trial and error that we all have to go through to some degree. Cause it's that skill development. It was challenging, you know, using your bike analogy, I fell off the bike several times, you know, cause it always went back to, but it's not my fault. It's not my fault. I had to really dig deep into myself to realize that.
No matter whose fault it is, there's still some blame on yourself because you're the one that actually did the work and made the mistake. You were there. Yeah. It doesn't matter if 99% of the Blame belongs on the other person. You still had your part of it. And it took me, I'd say, a good three months to finally realize that aspect of it. That, you know, I'm not perfect. As much as I wished I was, I'm not perfect. I make mistakes just like the next person does.
And and you have to own those mistakes and learn from or choose to learn from them now that's part of that now for me that was a big part of my growing experience was learning, from the mistakes and that falls into the grief work that i've been doing as well Well, you know, yes, it was a mistake for me to not stand up for myself and allow myself to grieve and allow myself to have those emotions. Mm hmm. So let's dive into that. Okay. Like allowing yourself to have those emotions.
Yeah. That's honestly, there's times that I still struggle with the emotional part of life. Yeah. The, the positive emotions. I get those down pat. Hey, that's good. Yeah. That is good. The quote unquote negative emotions is the part that I still struggle some with.
Not as much but you know there for a while you could just look at me a certain way and i'd just start boohooing because i did not know when was a good time to release those emotions when was a good time to hold those emotions in yeah now emotional control is a huge thing that i've learned just over the last three months after not being able to do hardly any emotional release at all or most of my adult life so when you yeah so when you say emotional control you mean the
ability to control your emotions and allow them to be expressed right yes there's a lot of people when they say emotional control the i i think the prevailing belief around that is shoving it down. No. Right? So it's like the opposite. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I believe that same, I'll call it a lie because it truly is. I believe that same lie that, you know, emotional control was just shoving it down. Yeah. For years.
You know, before January, I can count on one hand how many times I cried for my husband. Husband I can't tell you how many times I've cried for all my loved ones that I've lost since January because I don't know. But I've also learned when it's appropriate and when it's time to just, you know, if something comes up, if a memory shows up during my workday, it's like, you know what, I see you. I don't really have time to talk to you right now and with this memory.
But I have time later on today after work where we can sit down and reminisce.
So to speak so you're still honoring the emotion in the moment when it comes up yes saying hey i see i see you i see that you're not pushing it away you're acknowledging it yeah but you're also controlling it in the moment because you're at work right and that's not what we're advocating for is like just allowing yourself to be emotional anywhere anytime whenever the emotion comes up yeah but you're acknowledging the emotion and then again going Going back to like the beginning,
you have that time carved out. So you're like, I can handle this and actually process this later. Yeah. And I have the time to do it. So when you did that, did it diminish the intensity of the moment? Oh, definitely. Definitely. It would, at first it would kind of linger. And, but, you know, and I would keep telling her the same thing. But now when they pop up, I can just say, you know, they understand, you know, that, hey, I am going to do I am going to go back and I am going to reminisce.
And I will allow myself to feel whatever emotions come up during this time. But now it's just not the appropriate time. Now, another thing that I have found that helped me heal is.
Know there's a book out there called the body keeps score and whether you realize it or not there are certain dates that's going to come up that you're just not going you know your body's going to be just down or you know you're going to fill out a sort so to speak and with my analytical mind, I'm good with numbers and dates. So I know that there's certain dates that's just going to hit me more than others.
So what I do, and I know that those dates are hard, is I just take a mental health day from work. I put in my request early enough and say, you know what, if I think I'd I'd rather have the date planned to be off and not need it than not have it planned and need it. So I just plan for mental health days around important dates. And I'm lucky enough to have a job that understands that. And I've told them, I said, if it turns out that I'm okay, I'll get up and come
to work that day. And then I'll cancel the day off. But if I wake up and I'm not okay, I'm already off. Hmm. So that's what you, that's what you did in the past. Do you think you'll have to keep doing that moving forward? Cause you're like, or listening, we start, we started, we worked together recently one on one and you made a huge amount of progress and you processed so much stuff. So it's almost going to be like this year is going to be a lot of new discoveries as well with your new self.
So I'm curious to see if those days you'll need them. And even if they do come up, you're now equipped to actually solve it in the future. So you won't need them in the future if there is any charge that's left over, right? I went ahead and took April the 3rd off, which was the day he passed. But in all honesty, I don't think I'm going to need it. That's why I say it's going to be interesting. Yeah. Because he's made so much progress. Yeah.
It's on a Wednesday this year, so it's in the middle of the week. And nobody likes to take off during the middle of the week.
From work so now i'm actually i'm actually thinking about going ahead and canceling that day because i honestly don't think i will need that day and what you could do is you could mentally put yourself there right yeah and see what emotions come up and pre-process it yeah a lot like a lot of people think they have to be reactive to to these dates or to things in the the future, but you can bring those forward in your mind and start working with them if you, if you know it.
But I think that's really cool. And I think you're in a really cool phase right now too. Cause you're, you're kind of re re I call it like reintegration, whether that's like a term or not, but like you're reintegrating into society with your new self. Yeah. So things like you're going to be interacting with things differently. People at work, like every, like everything is different. Cause you're, you're a new person. Like those days, They won't affect you in the same way.
They're going to be like, wow, this is kind of weird. I don't have to do this thing that I've been doing for a long time. I don't have to be afraid of these things. I don't have to be worried. So I think that's really cool. The flip side of it is, and I just thought of this, is maybe go ahead and take that day off just as a mental health day, but have a self-care day around it. Yeah. Maybe I'll just treat myself to a couple of nice little things.
That day and you know and let that be my new routine on that day yeah it could be a good way to honor it too yeah you know yeah i'm not part of you yeah i just thought about that, it's not so much you know it is about remembering kim on that day but at the same time it's also about seeing how far i've came yeah in the in the last three it'll be the third anniversary anniversary, but seeing how far I've came in the three years and celebrating that this year.
I think that's a great idea. Yeah. I like that idea. I'm going to keep my day off. All right. But for a totally different reason now. I love it. I love it. So let's, let's talk about like, do you feel like we should talk more about like the emotional control part of the emotional release and why it was so important to you? Oh, definitely. Cause like that there, it is, it's such, it's a sticking point for so many people, even people who are in the program.
And I like, I tell it to them and I tell them how to do it. And I walk them through the process. There's still a lot of resistance to it. So I think if you could talk through the barriers that you faced in releasing those emotions, how you overcame them and why, like why it's so important.
And maybe I'm giving you too many questions of what it felt like before and after, uh but just like that whole process well for me it's like i said i'm a very right brain person very analytical i use my brain more than i use my heart so for me the emotional part was not easy.
My therapist showed me an emotions wheel one time and we actually played a game with M&M's, you know you grabbed them at M&M and then you looked at the color of the M&M and you found an emotion on the emotions wheel that kind of corresponded to how that M&M made you feel. Okay. And for me, that was probably the start of being able to feel emotions. Because at that point, I had the basic three or four emotions. Happy, sad, pissed off, mad. Pissed off and mad are different. They are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you notice there was only one good emotion in there, the happy. Everything else is considered a quote-unquote negative emotion. And I really don't like that word negative emotion because that was what tied me up for so long. You think that being overwhelmed is a negative emotion, where in fact, being overwhelmed could be just the tip that gets you moved to a better spot on your emotions once you deal with it.
Once you list out why you're overwhelmed, you could find out that you're being overwhelmed with good emotions, that life is just going so well and you're not used to it. That was part of my problem at first. True. And my healing process was, I'm happy. I'm glad. I'm just waiting. I'm overwhelmed by it all. I'm waiting on the other shoe to drop. Yeah. And once you realize that, you know, those are not necessarily negative emotions, that there's a time and a place to have those emotions.
If somebody hurts you, for example, and you're going to naturally be angry with them, and that anger may be justified. Crucified, but calling that anger a negative emotion for me anyway, was a turnoff, you know? Okay. So it's a negative emotion. I should not have that emotion, you know? So it's, so I really don't like that word, but going back to your question, learning that it's okay to be angry at a situation, learning that it's okay to be overwhelmed. It's okay to be sad.
It's okay to grieve because grief is an emotion. It's okay to do those things as long as you don't let it rule your life. Mm-hmm. It's okay to have those feelings. They just cannot rule. The good has to eventually go over the bad, so to speak. Yeah, and that's an important lesson. But in the moment, it is okay to have those emotions. And it is okay to lead with your heart and let your heart feel those emotions. And for me, that was the toughest.
That was the hardest thing for me to do was stop thinking with this, but listen to this. And once I started listening to my heart, healing really picked up and moved along. So what did that look like, listening to your heart? Oh, there were lots of tears. There was a lot of journaling. For me, there were a lot of butterfly hugs and introspective healing, meaning while I was listening to the heart, I was also doing this number and working it out up here.
So it was kind of a combination of touch, feeling, and analytical. So I was able to. Yeah, that's it. I was able to use all three to work through the anger, the guilt, the hurt, the grief. I was able to use my brain, my heart, and touch to get through all three of those, or all of the negative emotions, and build a happier me. Yeah. It's like you're connecting all parts of your body and your brain together so they can all make sense.
So when you were doing that, were you grounded in the logical mind as you were doing that? I would say for me, the logical mind is natural for me.
So I'm always grounded. grounded but i but i let the heart kind of dictate how i was feeling and then let the mind tell the heart what it needed to heal so you're grounded in logic yeah so you're grounded in logic, observing your heart you made the realization that in order to to heal you needed to address these emotions which was represented by you listening to your heart when you say that it's It's like you're allowing those emotions to come up.
You're allowing your heart to express itself honestly. Yes. Even though it's irrational or it could be irrational, right? Yeah. Which like that's a, it's a logical process to allow yourself to feel emotions. That's the weird part about this. Even though like emotions tend to be.
Well like you said too quote unquote negative emotions tend to come from more unpleasant emotions tend to come from irrational sources or irrational beliefs it's a very rational process to release your emotions and i i actually like i'm going to start calling it rationally releasing emotion there you go yeah i like that yeah so so it's like allowing yourself to honestly express allowing your heart to honestly express and communicate
to you what you truly felt despite despite the fact that it was irrational, right? Because that's what happens to most people, but especially people who have the tendency to be more analytical, is that you logically know something not to be true. You logically know you shouldn't be scared or you shouldn't be mad, but you still feel scared or you still feel mad. But you let your logical mind override the emotional mind or in the way that you're saying it, your heart.
You allow your logical mind to override your heart and you push that all away. way. And when you push that away, you're pushing away all the problems and you're just keeping all those problems inside of you.
So what you did is you listened to all of that. You allowed yourself to listen to all of those emotions so that you could bring that problem forward and then actually think through it, like you said, kind of sift through it with your logical mind and bring the two forces together, the emotional and the logical, but using the logical to help the emotional side of you see the light or see the truth right yeah and in that process of allowing your heart to express itself you allowed i
mean part of that is allowing the emotions to be expressed through your body beautiful yeah i really liked how you said to touch feelings and analytical because that's i mean that that was like a core piece for me as well and sometimes i forget to mention the like the bilateral stimulation aspect to that. Yeah. Just like with EMDR. But that kind of process can be useful whenever you're releasing emotions or whenever you're accessing emotions.
Doing any type of processing so that that was awesome i also i also thought it was interesting when you said like there's i don't like the word negative emotions i can get that i can get that on board i can get on board with that because or i can and i can understand that labeling an emotion as negative caused you to then want to push that emotion away yeah so then by taking a more neutral stance on emotions and just saying hey this is an emotion and it's trying to tell
me something thing let me listen to it and that allows you to actually fix that so yeah solve whatever problem is there yeah cool i wish that was the one thing people would change about the emotions you know there's there's no such thing as a bad or a negative emotion there's emotions that can hurt you if you'd let if you bottle them up too long yes but telling.
Somebody that and i'll just use hurt for an example that hurt is a negative emotion that tells in my logical brain that tells me well then i should never feel hurt no so i really wish that they would do away with that negative connotation with emotions because if somebody hurts you you're you're going to feel hurt yeah and there's no two ways about it and and my way of thinking you're allowed to feel that hurt.
I have a few a few questions on that there's like or a few few things to maybe nuances because like i understand i understand your point 100 and i agree with everything you said well except for one thing i want to dive in on but but there's still the aspect of like you have these emotions and i'll i'll do the you know quote negative emotions that you don't want to have yeah right Like you don't want to experience hurt and you don't want to experience hurt forever.
You don't want to experience pain forever. So there's an aspect to it where maybe it's just like, language and the language because i didn't personally like that that wasn't an element for me the word negative wasn't an element for why i pushed my emotions away but i i can definitely see that but would you say that like like there are preferred and not preferred. Emotions right that would work but you know because that's that's actually like. A it's an element of stoic philosophy is that.
Like there's no good or bad or the only good or bad is like your own right your own virtue or vice vices yeah yeah and the things that are within your control but the things that are out outside of your control there are things that are preferred and not preferred but it's not it's it's still neutral ultimately yeah yeah uh the main thing is with with those not preferred emotions you know you you can feel them but you can't let them rule your life you have to be able to process that hurt
in this case and process it and allow it to go into the past you can't just dwell on it yeah and the funny thing too also is that you you can't let it rule your life but when you push it away it rules your life like the instinct the instinct is like i'm not going to to let this rule my life by pushing this away right that's what everybody does because nobody wants to feel the pain and everybody wants to not show pain to other people right so
you push it away but that very thing of pushing away is what causes it to rule your life yeah that which is why you you do need to deal with it and you need to heal from the hurt and take whatever lesson And you may learn from the hurt. But leave it in the past. Yeah. And the lesson is the logical thought process that you go through, right? Correct. So you allow your body to express the emotion. You allow your heart to speak to you the emotion, right? Correct. Or tell yourself how you feel.
And then you analyze everything that's being said by your heart and find the lesson from that. Yeah. Cool. Now I have another question. How much time did you spend processing, do you think? Total. Oh, gosh. Because this is mind-blowing. I think this will be mind-blowing for a lot of people because one thing that keeps people stuck is they're just not putting in the time. Just like you said in the very beginning where it's like, I didn't have a routine. I wasn't putting any time into my healing.
And you're like, what changed? It's like you started putting in the the time, right?
Consistently. I would say... Probably put in about 200 hours of processing 200 yeah yeah now that's pretty cool now it's a lot less but and that's total right yeah that's total that's probably between 150 200 when you hear that does that sound like a lot or a little to you uh now a little yeah right yeah you're like 200 hours that that's not that's just a drop in the hat right now when i was going through it it was like wow now i
know that there was one week that or a couple of weeks where i did over 30 hours in a week it was a slow time at work and i had plenty of time to do some healing at work, you know and i'm grateful that i have a job that when it's slow.
And and you're caught up with everything that you have that little bit of time to do it, but there were days that i'd come home from work and spend all these you know spend the four or five hours at night doing nothing but working on my healing on top of doing maybe a couple hours hours at work but now it's maybe i have a lot of two hours still to this day just in case, but now it's maybe anywhere from five minutes to 30 minutes per day yeah and
is it kind of just keeping up with things yeah or new things that come in that are because you know after you heal Real PTSD, it doesn't mean that life stops and problems stops and, you know, there are obstacles or there aren't next level things that you can work on or limiting beliefs or even limiting emotions that are preventing you from doing the things you want to do or having the life that you want to have.
But now, you know, the tool so well, so you only have to spend 15, 30 minutes on that. And it's just consistent, consistent growth because you just want to keep getting better. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Perfect example. For example, Thursday I made the decision to turn off my husband's phone. It's a process for the cell company to do that. So right now it's still on. But that being stated, a couple hours after I made the decision, I started having second thoughts.
So, and when I got, I acknowledged them while I was at work, when I get home, I, I did a little bit of bilateral processing with it and introspective healing and some potential work. I kind of combine them all now. Yeah, that's when you know you've mastered it. Yeah. Because you bring them all together. Doing the butterfly hug. I did some journaling about it. I talked to my therapist about it.
And at the end of the day, you know, and basically the only thing I talked to my therapist about was, hey, I made this decision. This is what I've done. And this is how I'm feeling about it now. Because by the time I talked to her, I'd already done some introspective healing on it and was pretty much okay with it. And then yesterday I deleted all the text messages we had.
And it's like, okay, you know, and because I did all that other introspective healing Thursday, I haven't had a really a second thought about it. So I know that I've got everything under control when I can sit there and know that I'm making the right decisions for myself. You gain that confidence within yourself. Yes. That's awesome. Yeah. So, you know, is my life perfect? Not by a long shot, but it's like, well, in the life, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Am I a lot happier with the life that I live now? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That's what I love to hear. Not a question about it. Yeah, absolutely. So much happier with my life these days. So 200 hours to get what you have now.
Was it worth it? definitely definitely my only and it's not really a regret per se is i wish i'd done it from day one yeah because i'm about i missed out on a good year of living by being scared of healing, a lot of people are scared yeah what do you say to those people i would tell you Yeah. Don't let the fear rule the life. I did that for a year after I joined the program. I would tell you to run with it.
Let the fear in and talk to the fear and let the fear know that it's not going to win and it's not going to rule your life, that you're going to heal. Yeah. And listen to that list because what you're doing there, what you basically just explained was your whole process earlier. Yeah. Listening to your heart. Yeah. Not pushing it away. Not being afraid of the fear. Listen to it and help it.
And so, I mean, that's where a lot of us, that's where, I mean, I've, I've lost so many years of my life, you know, it's just like, if I just did this faster, if I just took this journey seriously from the beginning, and if I really knew and acknowledged what was at stake, because I think a big part too is we don't want to acknowledge to ourselves what really is at stake. It can be, I mean, it can be our health. It can be our relationships.
It can be our like family members or people, children, divorce, finances, like so much much is at stake and we don't want to look at that because it's heart-wrenching to even think about that for me at least that was something that i needed to look at in order to change unfortunately i had to experience it so hopefully hearing this from you and from from me people can see that you need to face that the reality right it's like you need to face
the reality of the the situation, if things don't change, things are going to be bad for a long time. And like, this really is significant, significantly affecting your life and taking that time, like you said in the beginning and setting that out each and every day is so important. And it doesn't have to take that long. Like you said, too, it's like 200 hours.
It's like that, like looking back, it doesn't seem like a lot, obviously, like I know going through it is it's, it's arduous and it's painful. And you're facing parts of your mind and your your psyche that you've pushed away, you know, for a very long time and it's challenging. But looking back, you're like 200 hours. That's a drop in the hat. Yeah. If I do one hour a day, that's 200 days. Yeah. That's less than a year.
If I do two hours a day, it's a hundred days. Yeah. You know, it's a little over three months. Like we had a podcast earlier with Jason Sileo and he did 10 hours a day. Yeah. Because like, yeah, because he had, he couldn't work or anything like that. And he did 10 hours a day and freaking crushed it in a month. He ended up doing like over 300 hours. Yeah. And even that's like 300 hours. That's still less than a year. Yeah. It's like, that's not that much.
Yeah. Like it's painful. It's hard to go through it. But also like, that's the importance of like learning the tools yourself. Yourself because imagine putting in 200 hours in therapy that would take you four years yeah.
If you had the right therapist and there's things that like when i don't have you experienced this where you when you're doing a processing session you can actually go deeper if you allow yourself to have more time with that problem versus like a therapy session where it's like it's only 50 minutes and then you have to cut it short or 30 minutes and you have to cut it short have you experienced that yourself where there's just definitely you can you
just keep going and going and going and going instead of, you know, yeah, hose in like a, like a therapy session and then cutting it off. You almost have to like retrace your path and you go down a little bit further and a little bit further. But if you have those long processing sessions and we talked about this with like healing vacations, but it could just be any long processing session. You just go like, I remember processing for like four hours straight.
And I just like, I got so deep and I resolved so many problems in just one little session. I mean, four hour session, but it was It's crazy. Before I joined this program, and sometimes even still, we'll be so deep into a therapy session with my therapist that...
Track of time and she'll finally notice and she'll say well we got cut off the here but here's the next steps i want you to do and i can i was able to go home even after that and still dig deeper you know you know kind of and i did this even with some of my processing kind of mentally put the therapist across from me and kind of had a conversation back and forth. You know, just picturing, and it doesn't have to be a therapist, it could be anybody, anybody that you trust.
You know, you could mentally picture them sitting across from you and asking them, and asking you the questions. And in all honesty, that was my biggest problem with protectors was, It was, how am I supposed to picture anger sitting across from me? And eventually the answer I came up with was, okay, I'm going to age myself up. The Muppets. The Muppets. I know the Muppets. The two guys that are constantly bickering back and forth at any type of play, song, whatever, and just downgrading it.
To me, those two were always angry or even a grouchy from Sesame Street. So they got in the trash can? Yeah. No, that's Oscar. Oh, man. I'm really dating myself. No, I watch Sesame Street going out. But, you know, you think of somebody angry and you put them across from you and you imagine that they're talking to you.
Yeah that's how i was able to finally do the protector work was you know put a face to my emotion yeah and for anybody listening to protector work basically in essence like in very very simple terms is it bring it kind of goes back to what we're talking about too with like listening to your heart allowing yourself to listen to your heart allowing yourself to listen to your emotions well how do you do that the protector tool
is something that we teach that helps people People communicate with their emotions in that way. So what you can do is picture your emotion as a being or a Muppet or a, or just a ball of energy or just nothing, just like something separate from you or a person. It could be literally anything, but allowing that emotion to separate from you and take some kind of form. Yeah.
Can have a conversation with it so you can learn with it and then like you were saying earlier teresa connecting the emotional mind and the logical mind while also combining touch that, that was that was a great great ad as well yeah but the therapist thing is cool you know that strategy i remember doing that early on with with with people and then i got really into like the protector world and i i stopped doing that but if you allow i think that's really cool because
Because you gain a level of objectivity when you can visualize somebody else asking that questions and you gain some separation from yourself. So it's like you can almost imagine this person who's asking logical, objective questions or whatever else, right? Is that kind of what it was like for you or am I? Oh, definitely. Yeah.
So that's really cool. So it gives you that separation from your emotion as well and allows you to question those emotions more objectively too in almost kind of like a reverse way, right? Instead of removing the emotion from yourself, it's like you're almost removing the logical part and having the logical part of men. Yeah, and that part was tough. What? Removing my logical part of myself because that logical brain always wants to jump in and give its two cents.
What do you mean by that? What do you mean by removing it? For me, removing the, to actually express the emotions at first, my brain would always pop back in and say, no, you don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. Why didn't I want to do it? Fear. So was that your logical mind or was it still your emotional mind that was preventing you?
A little bit of both yeah that makes sense probably a little bit of both because the logical mind did not want to deal with emotions good bad or ugly and the and the emotional mind was like we just want to be happy we just won't be happy we don't want to deal with any of that stuff either yeah see these parts of your mind yeah yeah but then you bottle it all in and the next thing you know is you're exploding and someplace that you should not be exploding at you know and you know perfect example
i left my sister to death mm-hmm and and this is what led me actually to go to therapy i had a certain seat and this is gonna sound so much like sheldon from big bang but i have my seat in the living room that is my chair seat nobody else can sit there and she came in she just sat down in my seat.
And i did and i'd had a really bad day i got all this stuff bottled up inside me and i just cut cut loose on her looking back on it it's a chair it's a seat it's not that big of a deal yeah yeah no but because i did not i was not releasing emotions at that time she got the full force of everything i'd been dealing with for however long yeah because you don't really care about the chair No. Right? There's all this other stuff. Yeah. Yeah.
And after that explosion, it's like, you know what? I've got to get some help. Mm-hmm. I've got to figure out a way to deal with all this yeah it's gone on long enough and now i'm exploding over a chair yeah yeah it's a tragedy too a lot of people don't make that connection of like it has nothing to literally when you when after you do the work you're like it literally has nothing to do with this situation at all exactly you feel like it everything
has to do with the situation and then the people in your life. Yeah. And it's, I mean, it's great that that was like a change agent for you, you know, for a lot of people it's not, you know, or for a lot of people, a lot of people I've lived with that or live in that environment, grow up in that environment where like, that's just the norm yelling, screaming from past pain. And then just they continue that forever.
So like some people might be listening and be like, it's not, it's more than just a chair. It's like, if you dig into that, I assure you that there's, there's more to to it than just a chair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, she and I can laugh at it now. That's good. That's good. We can laugh about that now, but that night was not a good night. A lot of good jokes can come from that too. Yeah. If you can, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I love her. I'm going to sit in your chair tonight. Exactly. And she does that. She'll come over and she'll go, I'm sitting in this chair and I don't care. Humor's a great thing. Did, did you lose a lot of humor with, with the trauma and the PTSD? Oh, definitely. Definitely. That's one of the most beautiful things that came back. Yeah. Being able to laugh again. My laughter was sporadic.
Basically, the only time I would really laugh was if somebody told one of those or something hilarious where, you know, you're laughing from the bottom of your stomach type thing. Yeah, yeah. You know, those were the only types of laughs I really had. It was never the, ha ha ha ha, yeah, that's good. You know, never laughed at simple jokes. Yeah, yeah. Now, I can find laughter in almost anything. thing.
I remember in college, and I'll date myself here a little bit again, but we were watching an episode of Reba and my roommate hated the show, but I watched it every Friday night and she goes, you're not even laughing in the funny spots. And I'm like, really?
Clearly Reba's not that funny. but she is in all honesty now i can go back and watch and laugh with it oh good okay yeah yeah you know so it was so reba was funny reba was funny reba was but i have a dry sense of humor as well so yeah but and i like those type of shows but and that's kind of you know i won't have that's how she was but the parts that i found funny was more the dry humor, but like big bang theory right i haven't watched a lot of big bang theory but
i imagine that yes i was a i i went to school for engineering so like that was a very popular show within the dorm that i was in right yeah, yeah i went to school for math and history, Numbers, dates. Emotion's not a big part of those two things No, it's not But what I'm finding with the history If you go back and you look throughout history, Emotion actually plays a big part in it You know what I think too? I think even you, like you and I Or more analytical people people,
emotion still has wrecked our life. So it's not that we're not emotional. It's just that we tend to operate at this plane. It doesn't mean that we don't have emotions or can't express them or anything like that, or we're not affected by them or our behavior isn't affected by them. It doesn't mean we're purely rational creatures or else we wouldn't even be talking, right? Exactly. Yeah. So what were you saying about history, though,
and emotional or emotions affecting history? If you think about this country, perfect example. Yes, the revolution started over taxation without representation. But a lot of it... Tea party emotional response boston massacre emotional response you know if you think about it a lot of things gets started by emotional response and then the tactical people the analytical people take over to do the rest that's interesting so like an emotion like Like, are there other examples of that?
That's interesting. Because I think there's a parallel to recovery as well. I don't know. I just kind of thought about that on the fly. Yeah. So, like, there's an emotional reaction that sparks something and then stuff gets crazy. And then, like, you have to go in and it's almost like chaos ensues from the emotion. Here's one. Here's one from down here in Texas. Texas. The Battle of Gonzales, the start of the Texas Revolution.
It started with the Mexicans were coming to take two cannons away from the town of Gonzales, which they were using to help fight off Indians. So there's a little bit of emotion, a little bit of analytical. They refused to let go of what they did when the Mexicans came. They fired the cannons at them.
Emotional response. But. Think of another one it's kind of just like human nature too yeah like a lot a lot of problems in life like even going back to your chair example it's like emotional response and then a way, that i got to bring this logical part in and make sense of everything it's like this big blow up in in your life right really shook you awake right like the revolution you know yeah i say it's revolutions like something like blew up and then everybody's
like oh we gotta gotta do something but yeah so then the logical mind came in for you and made sense of everything and to go through all the all the problems all the emotional problems make sense of it yeah now yeah another one nixon, nixon was always afraid that somebody was out to get him so an emotional slash tactical response for him was to bug Watergate. So, you know, some of the big events in history actually starts with an emotional response.
Yeah. And I had never thought about that before now. And just off the top of my head. That could be an interesting thing for you to look at is like the psychological interpretation of history.
So now like everything that you've learned from your own discoveries, like you can go go back and almost like because really history too it's like a study of or a the records of like human nature right this is these are this is what humans did over time and then you can go back and like analyze well why did this happen and what was going on in somebody's mind and why did they make these decisions and that's interesting i don't know if anyone's ever done that before,
i don't know that would be interesting you know i actually wrote that down Wow. It would be cool because do you know who Jordan Peterson is? I've heard the name, but I don't know who they are. He's a clinical psychologist, Canadian clinical psychologist, but he did a psychological interpretation of the Bible. Oh, wow. It was his interpretation of the biblical stories from a psychological point of view.
So he was looking at it more rationally. Obviously, there's still that spiritual element to it, but that was the first time that I saw anybody. Interpret a piece of work like that from that perspective. That's why I was thinking historically, it could be very interesting to interpret basically the stories of history through a psychological perspective and what lessons you can gain from there.
Because even what you said there about the Boston Tea Party, it's like that is a parallel to what happens in our own individual lives. This emotional thing happens just like, again, you at the chair and then the logical part has to come in. If you want to If you want to fix it. And there's probably so many cool lessons and parallels that could be made there, too. To maybe societies that don't have the logical part that ever comes in. Yeah. Happens then. Right? Yeah.
Very interesting. Same thing with Germany, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. After World War I, they had that emotional response where they felt like they didn't get what they deserved after World War I. And then, you know, obviously Hitler ran or came to power because of that, because of promising, you know, all these great things for Germany and then achieved a lot of great things for Germany, which, you know, I mean, you know, economically in the short period of time, not before the bad things happened.
But then it wasn't controlled. But then it's almost like this outside logical part, like if you want to say that. And some of that was done by emotion. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Well, I'm talking about by the other folks. They're like, well, okay, so that was part of Germany before World War I. We'll let him have that. We don't want to fight another war. He can have that. So that's kind of an emotional response. Or we're not ready to fight another war. We're in the middle of a depression.
So we're just going to, you know, let him, he can do basically what he wants. So, yeah. It's interesting. It in that way. Yeah. And the motivations behind people and probably learn a lot about yourself too. Yeah. That's cool. So last thing that's really on my mind was just like this therapist that you had. Okay. Right. It was just like, cause whenever we had coaching sessions or talked on a Q and a, you would talk about your therapist and how good she was.
And I was like, like, that's awesome. Like, I actually, I don't even know if I've ever had a client who's had a therapist that was like as good as yours. So like what, how did you find her? What criteria made her good? And what advice do you have to give to people? Oh, and would you recommend looking and looking until you find somebody or whatever, but just talk about that for a little Well.
After the chair incident, I was looking for an already licensed therapist that would take my insurance, that would actually work with me. I really didn't have any criteria going into it.
Well every place that i found was either miles away from me with the exception of one company, and i was or they had dates way in the future before they could see you right so it's like except for one company that i called and they said well we'll get your information we'll see what's available and then the last person i was expecting was still a student a grad student working on her degree which i did not want but when she called me and introduced herself and
told me her background her background was in biblical studies and working on a master's degree in counseling i'm like you know what i'm willing to give it a shot i'm willing to give this a shot i don't know what made me do it other than maybe the fact she had immediate availability. In less than a week but i did it and now yeah you know there are days where. We can just sit there and kind of shoot the breeze with each other and not really delve into a whole lot because things are going so well.
But then there are days where she'll sense something and we'll dig into something really deep. But now I honestly look at her more as like a life coach than anything because I'm to the point that, you know, we're... And more about what am I going to do next and what are my long-term goals. Now, last week, we had a little bit of a setback where I had to have an emergency session because we had a positive COVID test at work.
And that actually was still a little bit of a trigger. That is what I actually lost Alan to was COVID. And I won't say it was so much of a trigger, But it put that, it started kind of a downward spiral that I was able to kind of nip in the bud. And I couldn't get in to see my doctor until Wednesday. And I did not want to see my doctor until Wednesday because my symptoms came up on Monday. It takes three days to get a positive COVID test.
So luckily I only had bronchitis. us, but my therapist and I, we met on Tuesday and we.
Like yeah yeah i just from your email to me you were just pissed and i said yeah i'm pissed i'm hurt i'm i'm really upset that they allowed somebody sick to come to work you know i'm not thinking you were just at work monday sick yourself the day before but now and when and you know so we did some processing on the covid thing turned out i'd not have covid not when i emailed her back she goes yep catastrophizing see what that does to you it's like I'm like,
but then when we met at our regular session on Thursday, she's like, you're in so much of a better place this week. I'm like, yeah. And she asked me, she goes, is that because you're still on an emotional high that nothing that you thought was going to happen last week happened? Or is that because you've processed it? And are actually fine with everything. It's like, I think it's more of I processed it. Now, so, yes, there are still times that she and I have to do some deep processing.
But more often than not, we're talking about the next steps or the small little bumps in the road that happen that temporarily threw me off course. But as far as anyone that's looking for a therapist, what I would do now, if I was looking for a new one, is I would write down, number one, the qualifications I wanted. Number two, what I wanted to get out of the therapy. And that was a question she asked me initially, and I told her I wanted to heal. Okay.
Like what a third thing I would look for is somebody that's compatible with your personality. Those would probably be my top three things to look for in a therapist. How many therapists have you had? Was she your only one? Nope. I had like three in college, one out of college in this one. So five total. What was your experience with the other ones? the ones in college were just for a semester because they were all students.
So and so you know every semester you got a new therapist basically so it was basically every semester i had to start over and by the time we started making headway the semester's over yeah the one i had before this one while she was good i just didn't feel comfortable, that's another criteria by the way make sure that you're comfortable with your therapist.
This one that's good advice yeah this one i can i can talk about anything at any time i know i can email her and if you know if and if i need one i can have a session session pretty quickly if needed but usually you know it's like hey guess what I learned today you know there's only been one time last week was the first time I've actually asked for an.
In-between session well no second time I've asked for an in-between session the first time I'm now last Christmas, we planned for in-between sessions ahead of time, but, and that was more because of Alan's birthday and things like that coming up. So we planned for those, but I've only asked for an in-between session twice. The first time was when I was first getting in with protectors and I was having a rough time with this one protector and it really scared me.
So i asked for an in-between session and then last week was the only other one i've had and we've been on every other week since about june of last year june or july so in that amount of time i've had two in-between sessions that were not planned okay the rest of them were planned.
Honesty well yeah they helped me out along with meeting with you during that time in December that they helped me out but I probably could have been okay without them but it was nice you definitely could have been yeah but it doesn't mean you have to be exactly exactly Exactly. But I'd rather at that point in time, I would have rather had the in-between if needed, then, oh my gosh, I'm in crisis. Can you meet now? And her appointments all be filled.
But also that might be a really good thing that happens. Yeah. Yeah. Because then you have to stop and be like, what do I need to do to resolve this? Yeah. So, yeah, I would definitely find a therapist that's all about healing. Yes. And that was going to be my one point. Yeah. Find a therapist that wants to help you in your healing process. And, you know. Because that's not normal or it's not. No, it's not. I would say it's not normal. Honestly. It's not. It's not.
And, you know, I've thought about, you know, what am I going to do once our therapy sessions end? Because I think after April, we may go to once a month. And then it's like, okay, what do I do in between all that? I might have all this extra time on Thursdays.
But you know but what i've came up with is if we get to that point and we're only meeting once a month then you know that's more time i can put into my healing or more time i can put into writing a book exactly living your life right yeah what it's all about yeah that's more time i can do stuff for me right that's like that's another shift too after you heal it's like yeah and all all this time and all this focus on healing.
And then when you eat less of it, it doesn't mean like you, you stop doing the things that, you know, keep you mentally healthy, but you have more time and you're like, why do I do now? It's like, yeah, well now you can live your life. And that's, that's the next question, right? For you, you want to write a book or the people that might be like, I want to get into better shape or work on my career or whatever. Read some books, you know, spend more time with my, my family, more quality time.
I was like, that's, that's the next quote unquote problem, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's a good problem to have is what do I want to do? What's my next step in this journey? Yeah. Yeah.
Have therapy on that day what can i do well you know i've wanted to write a book for ages hey i've got an extra hour in my day let's do it exactly that's what's your book going to be about, well now i'm torn between which way i want to go my first thought was on grief and how it affects your body mind and spirit but now i'm kind of interested in the psychological response in in history. I'm going to do some research both ways. I'll probably do the grief book first.
Just because that's truly near and dear to my heart. Well, regardless of whichever path you choose for the book, we'll have you on again to talk about it. Yeah. Look forward to it.
Back to the therapy thing though, the one thing that I wanted to say again was just focus focus they they need to have a focus on full recovery definitely be aligned in your goal for full recovery because definitely i think this is what you're going to say too a lot of them focus on just management or just talking or honestly just complaining to you i've been to therapists and that's why like i just i just stopped i just had so many
negative experiences where it's just like i'm spending time i'm spending so much money like i would go to a therapist and she would complain to me about her problems i'm like isn't this like a little reverse it's like aren't you It feels like you're getting more benefit out of this session than I am. Yeah. And then I'm leaving $150 for. The other thing about mine is she had recently experienced loss, which is what led her back to grad school.
So while I was one of her first clients, I was the actual first client that she was dealing with grief with.
So we were kind of able to share our grief journey together and that was beneficial, very very you know talk through it together yeah yeah and she was able to tell me what had worked for her whether or not would work for me but she she actually had ideas that she was willing to to share on stuff that worked for her, and you know I would probably still be blowing up over a chair if it wasn't for her, and this program you know because I.
But I'm lucky I was able to have you guys and a good therapist. And because of that, working in tandem, I was able to completely heal probably a little bit faster. Because once I started learning the tools here, I was able to take a lot of the stuff she was telling me and apply it to the program as well.
So it was it was like whether or not my therapist was in front of me or not i was able to, have a therapy session every day exactly because i i could pretend that she was in front of me and i knew what kind of questions she'd be asking me with the protectors or with the introspective healing and i was able to mentally ask myself those questions and you know and then the q and a's on tuesdays and fridays in the program that brad hosted q and a every tuesday and friday now if i
get stuck i know i can always go there and get you to help me understand something yeah because for me the bilateral processing was the hardest thing to understand because yeah but that goes back to the logical side of me you know touching yourself you know butterfly hugging you know.
A touchy-feely family so you know why in the world would i want to hug myself you know, it's crazy it's crazy until you try it that was the hardest thing for me to get my head around now i wouldn't trade that for anything that's interesting i you know i had resistance to it too because it just it seems so crazy it does and then you hurt and then you try it so like i do my my best to like logically sell people on it you know on why it works and how it works and
things like that but it's a it's a it's kind of crazy and then you try it and you're like dang this actually really works and it's really it's very really effective yeah it's very calming yeah, okay i wouldn't have ever thought something like that would i know it's that simple it makes no No sense. Yeah. But it does when you dig into it. Yes, it does.
So if you could leave us here with the most important thing or the most important piece of advice, the thing that helped you the most or the thing that you just want to tell people here that you believe will help them the most, what would you say? The first step in healing. Well, there's two things. the first one step in healing is having a very good routine the second step is consistency.
Those two things, if you don't have those two things to lay the groundwork, I don't think I would have ever healed. So the routine where you're spending the time actually healing, which means you have to know the tools too, right? Correct. So you need to know how to process and then actually spending that time and then being consistent with that time. Correct. And seeing the importance of that, which hopefully people can see with you because you've made an amazing transformation.
Yeah. That would be my two keys. Awesome. Any last words? Any last words? No, just, you know, I would definitely look into this program if you're looking for true healing because it can happen. 100%. Well, thank you, Teresa, for this time. It's been amazing. And I hope everybody here has enjoyed. That was awesome. Awesome. Awesome. That was fun. That was fun. Man, I love talking with you, man. That was great. That was fun. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. I hope you enjoyed it.
It was absolutely amazing. I had an amazing time talking to Teresa. I loved talking with her. We're going to bring her back on in the future for her book when she finishes her book.
But yeah, if you enjoyed this podcast, podcast leave a review on it subscribe to our podcast whatever the channel and uh let me know how you liked it i hope you enjoyed it and if you want to coach with me check out some of the links in the description no pressure whatsoever but i hope you have a fantastic rest of your day catch you in the next one. Music.