#207 Revival in Your Home (God's Order - Part 2)

Music. The goal, accelerating the movement of God through sharing revival truth, stories, and reports.

Welcome to the One Cry podcast. I wonder how many times I've said that. Probably quite a few. A lot. And I'm grateful because we love doing this. And we're just so grateful that you turn in and listen. And a lot of people do it in the car or in your home or wherever you are. That's the cool thing about a podcast is you can get some biblical teaching and audio or video either way. And we're just thankful you join us, that you give us a little time. So thanks.

And I'm Bill Eliff. And if you've been watching the last two episodes, this is my wife, Holly, and mother of eight, grandmother, she doesn't like that term, honey, of 27 grandkids. And when they all come, which they do regularly, is we have what? 44. 44 in our house eating our food and demolishing many things. It's like I liken it to, you know, in Moses' day when that plague where the locusts came through and it just stripped the land.

That's very similar to what our family is like when they show up. But we love it. And then they leave and we think, oh, my, this is great. And then like three days later, we want them all to come back. Maybe not three days, but pretty soon. I don't think you would say three days. No, not really three days. Yes.

Well, I asked Holly to join us because we're talking about something that is. Unbelievably foundational to real revival and spiritual awakening. Every great movement of God has moved on individuals' lives, and it's moved corporately in churches, but it's not revival if it doesn't impact the home. That's where life is lived, isn't it, Ali? I mean, when you, you know, pull down the, shut the curtains and doors, that's who you really are. It all comes out.

And that's why it's such a laboratory. That's why it's such a revealing, convicting place and the place where you got to say, okay, am I going to do this or not? Am I going to walk with God or not? Well, it's the place where we need the Lord the most. Yeah, yeah. Because in our relationships, if we don't hand those over to him, we cannot do it well. Yeah, and everybody can be real spiritual on a date, on one date. But 50 years into marriage. We're 20, 40. Yeah, wherever.

Who you are really comes out, and who you are makes you really need the Lord.

And so we're talking about how to have that in the home. And we've been talking very practically. We're looking at embracing God's plan for our home. If we don't do that, we'll never find real revival. because his plan is revival. It leads to revival. And we're talking in last week out of Colossians chapter 3, the first verses. About finding God's order and looking into heaven. Paul says in Colossians 3, 1, set your mind on the things above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

Because you've died, you're a new person and your life is hidden with Christ and God. You can do that. And through the word of God and the spirit of God, we can literally live in the heavenlies. And he even says in those verses, Holly, set your mind on the things above where Christ is, not on the things of earth.

The reason we have chaos is we're just setting our minds on the things of earth and we worry and we're fearful and we're upset and we're not finding God and his ways and his plan and bringing heaven down to earth. So revival is when you bring heaven down. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it's being done in heaven. And you bring heavenly order into earthly chaos.

And so that's why in Colossians 3, when he gives us that admonition to set our minds there and pray that way, he immediately begins to talk about our homes. It's fascinating. The first time I read that, I thought, why is he talking about the home? Well, that's the laboratory. And last time we began to see that how we do this, and he gets real practical. He says, husbands, here's how you bring heaven down. In heaven, the husband loves his wife and forgives his wife.

That's what Christ does to his bride, the church. And so, husband, you want to have it in your home? You've got to love the same way Christ loved. And we talked about that last time. If you want to hear that, go back and listen to that podcast.

But then he goes on and he addresses the wives. And we want to see that and the children and the fathers. So, honey, he says here in verse 18, in this context of looking at heaven and bringing heaven down, he says, wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. I'm not even going to attempt. I could, but I'm not going to attempt to define submission.

Uh you you know that and you've taught women for uh decades about this what does it mean really for a wife to submit to her husband it's it's a choice for sure and many many times it's a hard choice but uh it says wives submit yourselves to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. So I don't think it's something we can do apart from him. So we have to go to the Lord many times to be able to submit with a right heart toward our husbands.

And so we're not responsible for making them do the right thing, but we are responsible for how we respond to what they're doing. That matters. You know, John Piper and Wayne Grudem in their classic book. Said that submission speaks of the spirit and disposition to gladly yield to your husband's leadership. Do you agree with that? And then how does that, how does that, I mean, it's got, We know the word means to yield. I think it's probably exactly the right thing to do.

But whether or not we can gladly yield to those things, sometimes they're really hard. And so what we need the most is to run to the Lord so he can give us the ability then to respond in the right way to our husbands. I know in the past, you and I used to talk about, when we were teaching on these things, about. Recognizing God's divine order and being willing to have it so. So I think that's why he says, look into heaven. That's the picture. And that's the power for this. It comes from heaven.

So in heaven, you see the bride and her response to Jesus. Now that's easier in heaven because it's to Jesus. But that's the ultimate. That's the illustration. And it's yielding to him, but it's not subservient, is it? It's not like your brain on a shelf or your neck under his foot or something like that. I mean, that's not what real submission is about, but it's recognizing, hey, there's an order. There's got to be an order in the home.

Every home has, and I'm going to yield to that, and I'm going to do it in the power of the Spirit. Does that make sense? Yeah, I do think that it helps us to know how much we need the Lord, because many, many times it's hard to yield about certain things. Maybe you aren't agreeing on them, but we can always take it to the Lord before we maybe say everything we want to say to our husband.

So submitting in that way just means that we get in a closet if we have to, and we go to the Lord and we say, Lord, I don't even know how to respond to this in the right way. So would you help me know what I'm supposed to say or do to respond to my husband in this moment? Now, let me ask you two questions. Number one, are there any places where you are not called to submit? There are. And there are places that the Lord shares. About what we don't need to do because it's wrong.

It's unbiblical. Unbiblical. Violating a clear biblical command. For instance, if you want to have children and your husband doesn't want to do that, and he says you need to get an abortion when you get pregnant, that is something that the Lord abhors. And so he says we shall not murder, and abortion is murder. So something like that or to be involved in pornography. Yeah, watch pornography tonight. I mean, it's the right thing to say, no, I'm not going to do that.

And so there are limits to that, but they're way fewer than we think. A lot of women, I think, would look at this and say, well, I just don't like doing that or I don't agree with the way it's going. But even then, I heard one woman say, maybe in Kay Arthur years ago, saying, submission is ducking so God can hit your husband if he needs to. And I agree. As long as you're trying to correct me, that's one thing. And it's not like we don't talk about stuff and bring up stuff.

We should, but we do it in a respectful way. And I think it's honoring the husband's role, you know, in the home and his responsibility and letting God, if he doesn't respond the proper way, letting the Lord, just trusting the Lord to take care of that in that husband's life. And I do think, you know, there are many, many things in scripture where people had to run to the Lord to get wisdom and to know how to respond to it. And I do think many times for women, it's hard.

I have met with so many women who are in hard circumstances in their home.

And so that woman needs to become a woman who runs first to the Lord. She's submitting to him, to the Lord, and then submitting to her husband. He grants wisdom and peace when we cannot change the circumstances, but it's hard. I know many, it seems like God brings you, has for years, tough cases and tough situations.

And just because of your years of study and experience, if somebody, some woman says, well, I don't know if I should submit here or I don't know how to submit, would it be helpful that you go to the Lord, go to his word, but go to a godly woman. See a woman who has a submissive heart. You know, people come to you because they see that in you and you've helped them, you know. Well, and if you're in a dangerous situation, be honest about it.

Oh, yeah. And because the Lord also speaks into those things that should not be happening. And get some good counsel. Well, one final thing about this passage. He says, be submissive to your husbands as is fitting. What do you think that word means, as is fitting? Well, that's interesting. I do think, you know, when you are choosing what you're going to wear, what you're going to put on, you don't choose something that doesn't fit.

You have to find something that fits you well, that you're comfortable in. And we don't have the ability in our own strength to respond to our husbands in the right way in many, many situations. But what we can do is step into the closet and get what we need that fits us so that we can ask him, how do I respond to this? What do I say? You know, and we can also say to the Lord, I can't change this, but you can.

And so we hand it over to him and we're honest about what our needs are so that our husband at least knows of those things. And then we have open hands before the Lord and hand it over to him. And, you know, I think, Ale, as is fitting in the Lord, I think—. If you don't develop a heart, a submissive heart, a respectful heart that honors your husband. Your husband needs help, and he needs a cheerleader. And most husbands are not just total jerks, you know, Christian husbands.

They're good guys who want to do well, and they don't know what to do. And they need a cheerleader, and they need a helper. And if they feel like they're constantly their wife is, you know, seeing all the bad things and not helping him in the good things, the greatest way to motivate your husband is to have a respectful, honoring heart. And it's fitting. You know, every husband has seen his wife get dressed up and look at her and

say, oh, man, you look beautiful. That outfit really fits you well. And I think when a wife puts on this spirit of submission, it really fits her well. And it's pleasing to the Lord, first of all. He's saying, that's the way I want you to live. And then it's pleasing to those around her, a model to her children and a beautiful gift to her husband.

So that's what brings revival. And I think we have to ask the women here on the call today. Are you, do you want to bring heaven into your home? And this is, of all the things that God could have said, it's fascinating that he says this one thing. He says to husbands, love your wives and forgive them. He says to wives, forgive. Have a submissive, respectful, honoring heart to your husband.

Then he says to children, he goes on in this passage, and we won't take a lot of time here, but he says, children, obey your parents, for this is right. You know, it's just right. And you want to bring heaven into your home, then into the earthly chaos. Plus, you have to teach your children how to obey their parents. This is not just getting them to do stuff so that we can survive, right?

It's teaching them to obey the authorities in their life, because if they don't learn that, they won't obey the greater authority. They won't obey God. They'll find it hard. And, man, the whole role of discipline, godly, biblical, good discipline in the home is so critical. And children are not going to naturally obey.

I heard one guy, two guys were talking and said, do you think your children are rebellious and they're sinful? He said, sinful. He said, I believe they can be demon possessed. He said, so we all have sin natures. And so children are just going to naturally go down the wrong path. And God has put you as a parent in their life to help them, to help them. And that's why good training, good discipline, just to let your kid just go wild, it brings chaos involved, right?

Now, discipline is hard work. It's not, I don't want to get out of the chair. I want to just yell across the room and say, stop doing that. And after the third time, use their whole name and then threaten, and then it just escalates like this. And I remember, Holly, when we were young and just starting out with our kids, we heard James Dobson teaching on this about training kids. And he drew a graph.

And down here at the bottom, he just started doing a line. And he said, now, look, when your kid is disobeying or he's got something, you can say, stop that. And if they don't stop, you can just ignore that and say, stop that. And you raise your voice and then stop that and then stop that. And then William Robert Evers, stop that right now. And then you bring on the discipline, whatever that is, appropriate biblical discipline.

Or he said, down here at the bottom, you can say, hey, son, stop that. And if you don't stop that, then we're going to go to the next step. And then you get out of your chair and you do the hard work of disciplining your child, loving them in that moment. And you set that marker wherever you want to set it. I also remember him saying in one of his books that trying to keep your child safe. Moving in the right direction is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.

That's right. I don't know. Yeah, it's hard. You know, there's nothing simple about it, but it has to be consistent for it to work. And that's why God's given parents to children. I mean, you know, train them up in the nurture, in the admonition of the Lord. So we could talk more about that. But if this is not happening, if children are not, to the degree that children are not obeying their parents and parents are not helping children obey, it brings chaos into the home.

And, boy, you let that out of the barn for years. You've got real chaos. Steve Green has a song where he says. Bring up your child in the way he should go so that as he grows, he will follow the Lord. And he's got just the truth in that song. And if we start when our kids are little, it will make a huge difference because being an adolescent is coming. So we need to be careful. Every child is just a small adult. You know, they're fast becoming who they will one day be.

And building the right adult kind of behaviors, love, forgiveness, you know, obedience here is really critical and easier than trying to get it 10 years later.

There's one final thing that this passage says that brings revival in the home, and it says this. Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart. And that's a fascinating phrase. Number one, why does he say that to fathers? Well, because I think the reason he does is because that fathers should be a primary discipliners to their children. And that also fathers have the capacity to really exasperate their kids. They can have a heavy hand, the wrong approach.

I thought about this, honey, and it says don't exasperate your children. So they just lose heart. They just give up. They don't exasperate is a word that means provoke. You rouse them to anger and you discourage them. And here are some ways I just wrote down that we can exasperate our kids by continually using the past, bringing up the past. It feels like they never can win. They never can get off the mat. They're never really forgiven by not letting up in a conversation.

In other words, you said something and they say, OK, and then you said 10 more times and they say, OK, OK, OK. And all of a sudden it blows up. Why? You've just exasperated them. Don't treat them like they're stupid. You've said something. They understand it. And so you don't have to constantly repeat a command. By making unreasonable demands, by asking them to do something that they just can't do, that will exasperate them. By not listening to your children.

By not balancing discipline with affirmation. A child feels that you're just there to serve your needs and there's no love, no desire for relationship by comparison to other children, particularly. Well, this is a huge, I'm not good enough, you know, and my dad likes them more than he does me by insufficient expressions of love. I had a room full of about 200 men one time, and I asked him, how many of you, your father never told you one time that he loved you? Probably 75% of the room.

And so it's easy to do this, apparently. And we see that in our histories, but we know it's easy because he wouldn't have addressed it here. And all he could have said, he just says, look, husband, love your wife. Wife, be submissive to your husband, children will obey your parents. And by the way, dads, don't train your children in a way that makes them lose heart. You can crush them. You're a big guy. They're little people. You can crush them.

And if you want to bring chaos in the home, crush their spirit, you know, by the way that you're disciplining them. If you want to bring heaven in the home, now think about this, back to our original truth. Look up into heaven and see how God disciplines us. He's consistent. He's firm. He's fair. But it's always done with love and a desire to an affirmation of who you are, but the behavior that needs to be adjusted in your life.

Well, we've been talking, Holly, about how to bring revival to your home and how to bring the last two weeks about how to bring heavenly order into the earthly chaos that is often our home. And let me just take a moment and pray for that. Let's just pray this in for just a minute and join me as I pray. Don't just listen, but really pray with me right there where you are. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for this incredible truth.

I pray that all of us who've listened today would go back to Colossians 3, and we would study and memorize verses out of this so much that it really becomes a part of us and drives our behavior and our responses. And Lord, I pray that you would bring heaven down. I pray that the order that's in heaven. And the roles that are established and the right, beautiful way in heaven that those roles are fulfilled and the power, the heavenly power, which it takes to fulfill those roles.

I pray that all of that we would allow to come down by our cooperation with you in these things. Lord, teach us as husbands how to love our wives and not be bitter and to forgive them. Teach us as dads how to not exasperate our children so they lose heart. Teach us as wives how to submit to our husbands as is fitting in the Lord. And teach our children, help us help them learn how to obey their parents. And, Father, we pray for a fresh movement of revival in every heart and every

home that's listening today. And we pray that for your glory and in your name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Well, honey, thanks for being here. And by the way, thanks for being here for 52 years. And I appreciate that. And I know some of you are just listening to this, and you can't see, but I'm kissing my wife. Oh, my goodness. Right now, on the cheek. So, you know, after 52 years, you can do that just as much as you want to. You could do it the first year, too. Yeah, I know, and we did.

So that's how we ended up with eight kids. All right. Well, thank you. We better get off air here. So, all right, listen, we're going to continue on this theme of Revival of the Home. We've got a few more things that we want to talk about in Scripture. So I hope you join us next time. Music.