Mini Episode: On and On it Goes (Coronavirus Update)

going on. I think there was a moment there that a lot of us thought, Okay, we're emerging from this and life will start to be a little bit more normal. And it's not looking like that's working. And I think there's a second wave that's hitting some people of feeling really tired of this. I know I have my moments of feeling really tired of this. So I wanted to talk a little bit about some strategies that we might use to help us navigate as this continues to go

on and on. But first I'll start with a little story that will lead me into the first point I'd like to make. Some of you might have heard some version of this in some way or the other This is the slightly longer version. But when I got sober at the age of twenty four from heroin addiction, I came into twelve step programs and was told I needed

to believe in God in order to get better. And I was in an area that was predominantly Christians, so that idea of God was at least the idea of this God that's out there and he's intervening in our lives and making things better, right, And I didn't really believe that, but I kept forcing myself to believe it,

and it worked. I stayed sober, But then several years into sobriety, I got married, I had a son, and one day my wife came home and said that she was in love with someone else, a friend of ours in the twelve step groups we were in, and my life sort of fell apart. I just I emotionally imploded. And what happened at that point I didn't I didn't drink right away from that. I stayed sober for probably

two more years, maybe three more years after that. But what happened in that moment was that I turned to my spiritual life as something to sustain me, and I realized that I didn't have anything there because I had been making myself believe in something that I didn't, and when everything went up and smoke, I was kind of I just didn't have anything to hope hold onto. And so that eventually was part of what led to me

drinking again. I got sober from drinking again that second time about thirteen or fourteen years ago, So you know, I got sober, stayed sober about eight years, drank again for a few years now. I have been sober for about thirteen years. Is sort of the whole chronology. But that lack of a spiritual life that made sense to me, something that could really support me, was part of the

reason I went back to drinking again. So when I got sober the next time, I realized, I have got to find a spiritual life that makes sense to me. I believe what a A was saying that we need a higher power. Right, Well, so what is this higher power to me if I don't believe there's a God out there intervening in my life. And again that's my personal belief. Everybody can believe exactly what they want. But my belief was that's not the way this all worked.

And so I had to come up with something, and where I landed was on the idea of spiritual principles. And what I landed on there was that spiritual principles. If I lived my life by spiritual principles, I would be able to stay sober and I would be able to handle what life through my way. And so that was a really strong base to build on, and it has turned out to be an incredibly strong based to build on for my sobriety, my recovery, and my life

in general. Spiritual principles are a really good orientation. They can be a true north. So what do I mean by spiritual principles? Things like acceptance, um, things like mindfulness, things like generosity, kindness, love, honesty. These are all spiritual principles by which we can try and orient our lives. In the seven Habits of highly effective people, Stephen Covey actually talks about this, and he says, a principal centered life is really the best kind of life because it's

a stable base. If you make your work the center of your life, well that your work can go bad, you can get fired, it can turn if you may your relationship, your wife or your spouse the center of your life, Well, that can shift out from under you. As I learned in that experience, if you make your children the center of your life, right, all those things are shifting. But if you if you make spiritual principles or principles in general the center of your life, those

can be relied upon as true north. And then those also do a very good job of orienting us back out to the other parts of our life that really matter, like our work, our family, are our children, the people we care about. Spiritual principles give us a real strong anchor to build on. So as we are entering you know again, uh sort of maybe another phase of of this coronavirus thing, and we're all feeling like, oh, I'm

sick of this, Right, what do we have? This is the time that we can reorient towards some of these fundamental spiritual principles that are true in all circumstances, and it can be a grounding and an anchor for us in this time. Right, we we are in a crisis of sorts, right, We've got the coronavirus happening, We've got the racial unrest happening. Um, we've got an economic crisis of sorts happening. It feels like a lot of crisis

is going on right. And the word crisis derives from the Greek words crisis and I don't know how to pronounce it crisis and creno, which mean as separating. So the very root of the word crisis is that these are times of severing from old ways and states of being. So crisis is this separating from the way things were. So we need to ask ourselves, you know, what is it that we're being asked to separate from what needs to be left behind? Or as we're separating from that,

what can we anchor to now? And again, I think that principle is a great thing to anchor to. The other idea I'd like to talk about is and I did this in one of our group coaching calls, but is to talk about this idea of liminal space. It's a word that many of you may be hearing now more often than you've ever heard before. Some of you may not have heard of it yet, but it seems to be showing up more. And the reason is that

a liminal space is a waiting space. And it does feel to a certain extent like what's happening for coronavirus for us is this waiting. We're waiting until we can emerge back into the world right. But liminal really comes from the Latin word limon, which means a threshold, any any place where we are going from what was to what's next. It's a place of transition, often referred to as a season of waiting. Uh. It can be a not knowing, which my Zen practice will say that not

knowing is most intimate. How was the answer to my most recent co on? I don't know? But liminal space is often considered a very fertile space. Richard Roor says we have to allow ourselves to be drawn into sacred space, into liminality. All transformation takes place here. We have to allow ourselves to be drawn out of business as usual and remain patiently on the threshold where we are betwixt

and between the familiar and the completely unknown. There alone is our old world left behind while we are not yet sure of the new existence. That's a good space where genuine newness can begin. Get there often and stay as long as you can by whatever means possible. It's the realm where God can best get at us because our false certitudes are finally out of the way. So that's what this coronavirus is giving us. It is drawing

us into liminal space. We are there, but for it to be fertile, we have to actually inhabit that space. We have to allow ourselves to feel the fears that doubts, the difficulties. We have to pay attention. Liminal space is often described as crazy time, right, and that's one of the most common things you'll hear any of us saying, right now, crazy times, strange times. Right. So the the metaphor of the caterpillar and the butterfly sort of show

this process. The chrysalist stage for the caterpillar is liminal space. It has entered the cocoon and just appears to be waiting. Sue Monk Kidd said that in many ways, waiting is the missing link in the transformation process. I'm not referring to waiting as we're accustomed to it, but waiting is the passionate and contemplative crucible in which new life and spiritual wholeness can be birthed. She says, Waiting is both

passive and passionate. It's vibrant, contemplative work. So this is the place that we can circle back to principle, What are the spiritual principles that we believe in? What are the spiritual principles that can anchor our lives? And how can we live into them more passionately during this time? How can we allow this waiting time, this liminal space, to be a place where we grow more deeply into ourselves, more deeply into our beliefs, more deeply into a spiritual life.

And that happens by engaging more with what's right here in front of us, and for a lot of us in a in a way that feels frustrating, we are sort of stuck in one place. I've often thought of this period that we've been in sort of quarantine period, is a little bit like being on a retreat, because on a retreat you can't go anywhere. There's not a whole lot to do, and it's a process of narrowing what you have to pay attention to. And that's what's happening.

So again, it's frustrating and I feel it and an impatience, and it's also an opportunity. So if we're willing to listen and to sense and to feel what's waiting for us in this space, if we're willing to let go of control and surrender to a greater potential that's waiting to unfold. The shifts and awareness and personal transformation could be enormous. So I think it's worth sort of re

orienting here, right. The good news is we've been in this phase for a while, right, So we're more steady and we have a little more margin to choose how to respond to what's happening versus simply reacting. Certainly, early in the coronavirus, it was a reaction, right, But we've recovered more space now to ponder our choices, and we have choices about how we're going to navigate the space. And so the question i'd pose is what choice do

you want to make? Right? And I'd suggest that we choose growth over stagnation, that we choose thriving over surviving. And that's certainly the choice that I continue to keep making. I've said many times that my Zen training is great for what we're going through because it just keeps reminding me, like, you know, it's right here, what you need is right here, right now. Right. So that's what I would say to you, is we're entering this second wave and a lot of

us or feeling frustration and despair. Let's anchor back into some principles, and let's anchor back into the idea of this space can be fertile for us if we choose to use it that way. So I hope that's helpful.

I'd like to say a few more words about the Spiritual Habits Program now, because the Spiritual Habits Program is designed to do exactly what I was just talking about, right It is a program that is based on six key spiritual principles that I think all traditions would agree are great principles and that we can really anchor our lives on. And then it's from there, it's using the science and behavior change to say how can we really live deeply into those principles. And we're doing it as

part of a group right now. So it's a chance to build community with other people, like minded people, and it's a chance to really choose during this period. Okay, I want to really take advantage of this period that we're in a little bit more deeply and and and I believe this program gives you a great chance to do that. I'm really proud of it. I think it's the best work I've ever done, so if you're interested,

I'd love to see you in the program. You can go to group dot spiritual habits dot net to do that again. That's group dot spiritual habits dot net and as always, will have another episode out next Tuesday. I appreciate you listening, I appreciate all your support, and I'm glad to be part of this journey with you guys. Okay, bye,