Justin Stenstrom

We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their

good wolf. Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Justin Stenstrom, a nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. Justin is the founder of Elite Man magazine dot com, the host of the Elite Man Podcast, and the author of the book Giving Shy guys game. If you value the content we put out each week, then we need your help. As the show has grown, so have our expenses and time commitment. Go to one you feed dot net slash Support and make a monthly donation.

Our goal is to get to five percent of our listeners supporting the show. Please be part of the five percent that make a contribution and allow us to keep putting out these interviews and ideas. We really need your help to make the show sustainable and long lasting. Again, that's one you Feed dot net slash Support. Thank you in advance for your help. And here's the interview with Justin Stunstrom. Hi, Justin, Welcome to the show. Eric. Thanks for having me man, I appreciate it. Yeah, you're a

fellow podcaster. You have a podcast called The Elite Man Podcast, and you also have a magazine. So we'll jump into some of that here in a little bit. But let's start like we always do, with the parable. There's a grandfather who's talking with his grandson. He says, in life, there are two wolves inside us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf,

which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for a second, and he looks up at his grandfather and he says, well, grandfather, which one wins? And the grandfather says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do. To me, it means you have like this kind of fire going inside. It's it's almost like a you know, a car engine. It's constantly going.

If you control it, you know, you're you're running smooth, the cars great, everything is great. You can it takes your places. You can get things done. You know, you get to and from work, you get to go, you know, travel different places with it. If you let the fire kind of take its toll on you, or you know, get out of control, it can take over. And that's kind of like what your thoughts are like. You have

negative thoughts throughout the day. You have, you know, thoughts that can dictate if you're feeling low, if you're feeling maybe down or depressed or anxious or worried all the time, and that can take its toll on you and cause

things like depression or anxiety or panic problems. Um, but if you can take control of your thoughts, your you know, you're the thoughts in your head, you can actually turn that into positive things like you know, confidence, being bold, being decisive, being a leader, just different like positive emotions. So it's really just kind of how you control yourself. And you know, there's this fire always going inside you, but if you can control that fire, you can use

it to your advantage. Excellent. One of the things that I saw when I was researching you was a lot of talk about n LP neuro linguistic programming, and that's been something that I have been interested in exploring on this show a little bit. So it sounds like that's something you've got a pretty deep immersion in. Yeah, I've I've done a lot of NLP training and you know, just read books on it and have used it in my own personal life to overcome a number of different problems.

N LP and and actually hypnosis are like the two big ones. Yeah, well, let's talk about NLP. You know what it is and and how you've used it. Yeah, So n LP is neural linguistic programming. It was a technique pioneered by John Grinder and Richard Bayler back and I believe the seventies, and these guys basically studied all of the major like psychological and mental programming and you know,

doctors and researchers at the time. They took all these kind of different concepts and they also were actually big into into hypnosis. So they studied guys like Milton Erickson, who was like the you know, if anyone knows anything about hypnosis, he's like the father of hypnosis. Ericsonian hypnosis is still used today. It's one of the most popular methods of hypnosis. But they took like all these different kind of teachings and practices and put it all into one.

And basically, what what it comes down to when you when you use n LP is um. I mean there's a number of different things, but it's basically using pictures, sounds and images and um. When you think about something you're kind of you visualize it in a picture and sometimes it even has audio. Like you use all your senses to visualize and and imagine something like you know,

an emotion. For so you have a fear, you know, you you'd think of the fear and all the things that go into that, and all of a sudden, it's a it's a big picture. It's you know, you see literally see the picture and taking actions and unfolding like in your mind, and that's what you kind of focus on.

So if you're focusing on something negative, that picture is very large, arge you can hear it, it's very clear, it's vivid and um, that's kind of the overplaying, the overrunning picture that goes on and on, and so that fear becomes like worse and worse because you're you're just kind of making it more vivid and more clear. And the gist of using n LP is replacing that bad picture, the vivid, you know, terrible picture of something happening, with

a positive one. So you you can literally like there's different ways of doing it, but you literally can like shrink it down. You can like throw it away like like picture yourself like tossing it like a mile or miles away, and it's like disappearing. Um. You can then replace that with an even bigger picture of something positive happening.

And it's it's literally just like training your mind to wipe out negative pictures, negative thoughts, negative audio, sensory sounds and all that other stuff with positive ones and and just training yourself on continually doing it. And the more you do it, the more you get good at literally like this visualization technique, but the easier it becomes to to change your emotions and to change your feelings and to positi at once. I'm always interested in things that

stress positive thinking. You know, very strongly, what's the role of sort of acknowledging emotion and legitimate emotions and things that happen in your life that are challenging with also being positive and focusing on something like n LP. How do you balance those things in your life? I guess it just comes down to the situation. Like there will be times where beforehand, like I've and I've used this

in the past two I've battled anxiety. I've battled panic attacks where I was getting them three or four times a week. I battled depression to the point where I was suicidal and it was horrible for about six months in my life, like constantly every single day, I was like thinking about suicide. I'll deal with it as it as it kind of comes to me, but I'm always

sort of proactive with it. So being proactive with it means like doing these visualization techniques, these kind of n LP teachings, uh, doing hypnosis regularly where I'll have like you know, the hypnosis CD or MP three hypnosis, and you know, I'll do that in the morning every couple of times a month just to kind of because at this point, you know, I don't have any problems with anxiety or depression, but I'll kind of do it as

like a maintenance thing. And back, you know, way back when when I did have these problems, I would do it every single day. Is a maintenance thing. But on the other hand, when things like randomly pop up when I'm faced with a new challenge, when I'm faced with you know, some crazy fear or I want to overcome something in the moment, I've actually learned that you can't

really be proactive obviously in that situation. So what I've learned instead is to actually a lot of the time face these problems head on, like face these fears and and tackle them and kind of um face them head on without trying to avoid them or or hide them or use anything else to kind of mask them. So it's kind of like a two different techniques or two different processes at work. Here there's a proactive thing where I'm using like these things and kind of working on

my subconscious mind and training myself in a way. But on the other hand, I've also kind of adapted this ability to tackle different fears, tackle different challenges head on and and and kind of have the courage to face them. Now, does NLPs suggest that a lot of what happens with this is happening subconsciously, and as n LP intended to

address the subconscious That's an interesting question. I read the book by Richard Bandler actually a couple months ago, and he sort of reiterated what I thought all along, which is NLP isn't really meant to kind of figure out how all the problems came about, or you know, the whole um history of the problems, or like you know, the diagnosis of it or why you're getting the problems are all kind of like the back channel work of

of the actual problem. It's it's very effective and actually just being a technique to cut the problem out, to to knock it off. So if you get these problems, like n LP is a good way to start implementing NLP would be a good way to start fighting them off and getting less of the problem. Like, it's great for fears, it's great for phobias, it's great for boosting

your confidence, it's good for things like that. But as far as like the whole why you're getting the thing in the first place, it doesn't really address that as much. You'd probably want to, you know, talk to some psychologist or some kind of professional if you're talking about like kind of deep rooted problems. If that answers your question, yep. So tell me about hypnosis. That's an interesting one. I haven't known very many people who have had a lot

of success with hypnosis. I'm also not saying I've known any people who haven't. I just haven't talked to many people who have tried it. So tell me about your experience with it. Where where did you start with it, and what was it able to help you do. Yeah, I've been I've been a huge fan of hypnosis, probably

not for close to a decade. And I'm a huge fan of it because it was the single And I've tried basically everything on this I'm a self help kind of junkie and I've tried I'll try things all the time, just random things, that pop up. I'm always research and stuff, always on YouTube and you know, reading books. Um, but I've tried everything under the sun, especially back close to a decade now, where I was getting these major problems with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etcetera. UM, I was just

throwing things at the wall and seeing what's stuck. And as it turns out, hypnosis was the best thing I threw at the wall and stock and it made the greatest impact in my life. So hypnosis was the single best technique for getting me out of that suicidal depression. And I would plug in. I mentioned a moment ago like. Hypnosis is generally about twenty to thirty minutes a session, um, and you do it about once every day for thirty

days or so. I mean, they'll say every couple of days is okay, but I recommend doing it every single day to really program your subconscious mind. And for anyone who doesn't know, the subconscious mind is literally the most powerful part of the mind. So you have the conscious mind, which is basically like what you're thinking now, what you're know that we're having this conversation, This is like conscious work at play. We're thinking about what we're saying we're talking,

we're saying these words, and this is all conscious. But you know, you can't just like snap your fingers and say if you if you're feeling down, if you're feeling depressed. You can't snap your fingers and say, you know, I want to be happy, I want to feel great. I want to be energized and excited and loving life. And unfortunately, you know it doesn't work that way, because that's the conscious mind, that's what's happening right now and what you

can think and what you can do. The subconscious mind, however, is the part of your mind that controls your feelings, your emotions, your unconscious bodily rhythms, like your heartbeat, your it regulates your breathing when you don't think about your breathing, everything that goes into things that you can't consciously think of or control yourself. That's all the subconscious mind to play. And that's why it's so powerful and so important that

you get ahold of that. Hypnosis just so happens to be probably the most effective way to tap into the subconscious mind. So you get into a super relaxed state of mind. It's almost like a state between sleep and being conscious. Like right now, like we're talking, it's that in between states. So if you're sleeping, it's not really gonna work, and if you're conscious right now, it's not

really gonna work either. So it gets you into like a very relax like it's almost like a guided meditation where if you've ever done any meditation, eric you you have an understanding of kind of like that feeling of of of kind of being like at bliss, like no worries, no cares, you're just kind of like, you know, very very comfortable, almost like you want to sleep, but you're

not quite sleeping. That's like the state you want to be in for hypnosis, and you go to like this kind of it's called like an induction where they take you the hypnotist. You know, you're listening, just listening to the hypnotists talked throughout you know, the twenty thirty minutes and um again he's putting you into like a relaxed state of mind, and he's putting you into the induction.

So he takes you down to like this countdown from like ten, seven, six, three, two, one, and then by the time you get to one, you're you know, you're in that hypnotic state, so to speak. And when you're in that hypnotic state, you're super super relaxed, like you're literally just about to go to sleep, and just like I, like I said a moment ago, like in that super bliss kind of meditative state. But at that point, your subconscious mind, it's almost like the gates to your subconscious

mind open up. And at that point when they open up, the positive suggestions like positive affirmations, positive suggestions, UM techniques and strategies that are are outlined in the hypnosis UH session are to come out and they start to train, like literally program your mind into having positive beliefs, positive feelings, positive emotions, and start to fix the areas in your life that you want to be fixed. So that could be confidence, that could be having problems with anxiety, that

could be Like for me, it was depression. I was super super depressed. So I was getting positive affirmations about being grateful for what I have, thinking of all the things in my life that I should you know, be happy about that most people don't have UM concentrating on that and just focusing on like all the good and all the happiness and enjoy in my life currently right now that I was overlooking, and so for twenty to thirty minutes a day, I was tapping into the subconscious mind,

literally just flooding it with all these positive emotions. And after doing this for three to four weeks, those positive emotions started to really take shape in my life. And it's it's sort of just like hacked into my subconscious mind and hacked into my feelings, which at the time we're all, you know, negative and depressed and depressed feelings, and it tapped into that and it literally just reprogrammed it like you'd reprogram a computer. And from that point forward,

I was happier. I was excited about life again. I felt like I had a purpose, and I was grateful for the things I did have. Hey, everyone, before you hit that thirty second forward button, a quick discussion. A long time ago, I went through a very difficult period and the book When Things Fall Apart by Pemma Children was so important to me during that period that to this day, I still give that book to people when

they're going through a difficult time. I've heard from a lot of you that this show has been a big help as you've gone through difficult times, and a way for you. To give this show to other people who are going through difficult times is to be a supporter. You can go to one you feed dot net slash support and make a monthly contribution two dollars, five dollars, any amount helps. You'll get some great gifts if you do.

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as a gift to other people. Thanks so much, as always for your support. And here's the rest of the interview with Justin Steinstrom. Now, did you do this hypnosis pretty much like you're saying via c d S Or did you visit a hypnotist? I did of this on my own, just I got some MP three's off off on online. It was, you know, by a guy by the name of Dr Andrew Dobson. He is, I believe in New Zealand hypnotist and one of the best, in my opinion, out there. The thing that's really cool about

this too, it's not like it's super expensive. It's not like you gotta drop hundreds of thousands of dollars to get uh MP three's online, even if it's this guy or anybody else, are typically like ten or fifteen bucks. And you have that, you own it for life, you

can use it whenever you want. Again, it's like twenty thirty minutes of just listening to an MP three and you plug in, you know, your headphones, your earbuds, go to a quiet room, uh you know, dim the lights, maybe even shut them off, and you know, for twenty thirty minutes, you have a professional hypnotist in your ear teaching you how to overcome some major problems. Now, do you listen to the same one day after day or is it like a rotating cast. I'm just kind of curious,

you know what you did? So I just listened to the same exact one every single day. And it's not like you know, you're it gets like older, you know, I'm thinking like you know, or people may be thinking like oh, maybe that'll get older, you'll kind of get boring after doing it, because it actually doesn't because, like I said, it's not that like you're in that state of mind where you're consciously listening to it's a very

weird state of mind. Actually you don't actually really remember what's being like you'll remember bits and pieces, but you won't remember like the entirety of what you're listening to. Um, you'll remember like bits and pieces. And then at the end of it, when it's kind of funny, you know you're in a hypnotic state. When at the end of it, it's called like the wake up, so he has like you know, the countdown where you're the induction where you're

going from ten to one. On the wake up, it's like one to five, and then by the time you hit five, you're fully alert, fully awaken, and back into

a conscious state of mind. So you know you're you've actually done like a successful hypnotic UH session when you don't really remember the entire of you know, the entire twenty thirty minutes of what what's been said, but you wake up when the guy says five, and like you're fully conscious when you're like you know, like the music is kind of playing in the background because they have like kind of relaxing yoga type music typically in the background,

so you hear the background. You can kind of hear them, you know, trailing talking up to or leading up to that five, and then when it hits five, it's like you're fully conscious and that's when you know it worked. That's when you know you had a good hypnotic session because you're fully up by the time you hit five. So it doesn't get like boring, doesn't get like repetitive at all because you don't even actually really listen to

it throughout the session. Yeah, I've heard and read studies that say like certain people are able to be hypnotized and other people just aren't. Like there's some sort of you know, there's lots of different studies about is it a genetic thing? But I'm just kind of curious because I've never really tried it, and so, uh, it might be something might check out and see how it works. Yeah, I think the number is something like people are hypnotize able.

There's like a small percentage maybe five of the population that can't be And then I think, like maybe I'm just kind of get and that's kind of the numbers I'm pretty sure of around that range. But I think it might be like fifty to say are highly hypnotizeable and the other like remaining percentage of like people that you've got to kind of work with and play around

with two to actually get it to work. Ye, you host a podcast, I'd be interested in what some of your favorite guests have been or maybe some of the key learnings you've gotten out of doing the show. I know that's a hard question. People ask me that and I'm like, I can't answer that, but but pull a few out of some things that really stood out to you. Yeah, definitely. Man, there's so much as you know, man, there's so many different cool guests that you have on and just you

mean you literally learned something from every guest. I think or you have like this unique conversation and it just podcasting is amazing in general, but you have these amazing conversations like week to week with these incredible people, and for me especially, I think for you too as well, if I'm not mistaken, you have like kind of a mix of people and kind of it's awesome in that way where you get to just like mix things up and constantly like play off your interests and what you

you know, are interested in yourself, and for me, I get to learn something new every single time. I've had guys like Robert Green on the show who is you know obviously you know, super super successful author. I'm a I'm an author of a couple of books myself, So I look up to someone like that who's had like five U international you know, New York Times best selling books, and I've read every single one of his books. He's one of my favorite authors. But I got to pick

his brain about like his strategies for writing. I was asking him about, you know, if I've ever thought of writing a novel, you know, like a Game of Thrones kind of thing, and um, just cool, like the little things I picked up off him. I also had a guy, the Shark Tank guy, Kevin Harrington on a few months back. Really cool. I mean this guy's like a you know, five hundred million dollar net worth kind of guy. I mean he's friends with Mark Cuban and all those other dudes.

So I have so much respect for a guy like that. And again picking his brain and talking business strategy with somebody like that, I mean that's priceless. It's to do something like that would cost like thousands of dollars if you wanted to have like a one on one, you know, fullone consultate with one of these guys and to get them on the show and basically just picked their brains and ask them questions that I would ask them if I were paying them money. It's just like one of

the coolest things in the world. But as far as like a lesson goes man for all the guests that come on the show. At this point, we've had hundreds of guests, But the common theme that I think is recurring and everyone that comes on the show is the sort of failure, failure or rejection that they faced early on in their career or their life that really um

propelled them into unbelievable success. Like every guest I've had on has had unbelieved not just one either, by the way, usually it's like multiple different failures or rejections or you know, they did this these things in the beginning that they thought we're gonna grow great and they fell flat on

their face. Um, And what separates them from all the other people that don't make it or aren't as successful as them is that they use it to kind of fuel themselves, to to use that as like a motivator for their success. So they just instead of you know, that project ailing or a big failure in their life, their personal life, or their business life, they use that and just you know, do ten times better than than

they ever thought they were going to do before. And they just constantly carry that around as like a motivator and something that pushes them and drives them. So that's one of the big things I learned, and kind of that's reiterated every time someone comes on. Yeah, I agree. Getting to talk to all these different people and ask whatever questions you have about them and follow your interest is part of the reason I love doing this so much. I mean, it's probably the top reason I love doing it,

of course, except being with Chris Um. I want to talk a little bit about depression again, because you've talked about n LP, You've talked about hypnosis. You've also talked about exercise, diet, and supplements, and I'm kind of interested in the supplement piece, but I also want to talk about exercise and diet. It's one of those things that's such a boring topic. On one hand, to be like, well,

if you're feeling crappy, take care of your body. And yet, over and over and over, every guest, all the studies, everything points to the fact that if you want to feel good, you've got to take care of yourself physically, otherwise you're gonna feel crappy. It just depends what you know. As a guest recently said, what flavor of crap, It's gonna be so um, But I'd be interested supplement wise, what is it that you found that helped you depression,

that helped you with depression. Yeah, so there's a few big ones out there. And the thing with me too is I'm a very kind of safe, cautious type of guy. So anything I'll recommend or anything I'll put into my body personally is something that I've done a ton of research on or things that I know is a safe and it's not gonna do like any crazy side effects or do me any harm personally. I wouldn't experiment with

any prescription jugs. For instance, when I when I was you know, first went to the doctors for this kind of thing back in the day, Uh, they immediately try to throw a bunch of antidepressants and anti anxiety medication at me, but I didn't want to go that row. I didn't want to have to depend on something, um like a lot of other people, not like you know, saying I was better than anyone else or you know, I have like some kind of superiority because I didn't

take it. But it was just more like a personal preference for me. I didn't. I was kind of honestly kind of scared of going down that route. So I chose, like, you know, a safer alternative, and a few of the ones that really helped me out. A few of the ones that stick out, uh, fish oil and especially like a triple strength fish oil one that has a lot of d H A and e P A and it is really really good if you just, i mean look

into a little bit of research into that. They say the balance between omega sixes and omega three's, especially in the Western diet, is unbelievably high. I forget the exact number, but it's like twenty times more than it should be, like ratio wise, I think it should be like um, you know, two or three to one maybe like omega six to omega three and the Western diet it's something ridiculous like twenty six to one, Like we consume so

much more omega six is than omega three's. So I mean that just throws the entire body out, you know, especially the brain out of flux. Like the brain is is made up of fatty tissue, fatty acids. Um. That's what you know, we we run on. That's kind of our juice in the brain. And when you have an

imbalance of that, it's just like tipping the scale. It's almost like throwing like you know, lava or acid in your brain instead of like you know, the instead of like getting blood and you know, clean blood, it's like you're dumping like you know, just crap and and waste into the brain constantly, and so you're gonna have these problems, Like it's no wonder that we have so much inflammation.

It's no wonder that we have problems like tendonitis. Uh, it's no wonder that we have so much problems with anxiety, depression, just all sorts of problems in you know, health problems associated with with inflammation, and fixing that balances is one of the most important things. So just consuming a fish

oil supplement every single day. I recommend, like I said, a triple strength one, and I actually consume it two to three times a day, So it's like a thousand milligrams um of E P A and d H A combined, and I'll take even uh two to three times of it, which is actually not as high as you might think. But you know, people might be like, oh, why are you taking a per day supplement two to three times

a day? If you do the research on it, uh, doctors actually will recommend somewhere to like three to four grams or four three to four thousand milligrams of UM a fish oil a day. So just taking a fish oil will will typically help anybody out, and especially in the Western diet, but it will help you out in a number of things, especially with like inflammation, especially with things UM like any kind of brain related health problem

is huge. Vitamin D is another one as well, especially if you live in a climate that doesn't get enough sunlight, or if you're in like in Boston where I'm from, you have like fall in the winter seasons where we don't get enough sun, and so we have plenty of sun. Right now, it's eighty degrees outside, as I mentioned to your earlier, beautiful day, uh, spring and summertime. Here is

is perfectly. I get plenty of vitamin D. I don't even supplement typically with any supplement in the in the spring or summer, but come fall in winter time, I'm taking U probably chew to five thousand. I use of high quality vitamin D supplement a day. As you probably heard, there's something called seasonal depression. Vitamin D is huge and hundreds of processes in the body. I mean, it's works

and just a number of different things. It helps regulate your hormones, it helps with brain function, it helps with your heart, I mean, it just helps across the board obviously bone health. But vitamin D is is something that we typically don't get enough of, and just supp learning with that will also do wonders. Another thing is is a B complex, which is kind of like the stress vitamins. You have your b ones, your your niacin your B six B twelve, which is huge and a lot of things.

And getting a supplement that has like all of these in good quantity of it, like a fifty milligram minimum for across the board B vitamins is very very helpful. And then the other thing, the last kind of very safe and very effective sort of alternative to like prescription drugs or um sort of like. The natural route to combating depression is a mineral called magnesium, which I'm sure a lot of you have heard of, but maybe not

as many of you know why it's so effective. Magnesium is one of the most important and overlooked minerals in the body. This one actually plays a role in over three hundred processes in the body, and the research on magnesium for depression alone is astounding once you start to look into it. A lot of people who are depressed are actually eight percent of the American population is estimated to be deficient in this mineral in magnesium, which is

a huge number. Like four and five people are are low in this and are and don't get enough on a day to day basis of it. So most people will do well supplementing with magnesium, but um people, especially with depression, have an overwhelming propensity to be uh deficient in magnesium. And magnesium is importance on the brain and

how the brain functions is incredible. It just like the three processes that it works on in the body, many of those work in the brain and they help regulate Like I said, hormones, they help with the neurotransmitters in the brain. They help with like amino acid production and just facilitate so many different processes and help the brain function optimally. And also is it turns out it's it's really good for things like anxiety and stress as well.

So what kind of magnesium there's there's like four different types you can get when you go to you know, I think there's magnesium sight rate, and there's there's different ones. Is there a particular kind that's recommended. Yeah, the one I take, the one I actually recommend is magnesium citrate, like you said, And there there's a number of different ones you can use. Typically the ones that end in

a T e like an eight. They're combined within amino acid, which makes them better absorbed, and they actually are you know what, like if you take a two milligrams, say magnesium, you're going to absorb most of that magnesium as opposed to uh you absolutely want to stay away from like an oxide or anything like that that's not an eighth. So glycinate is another good one. UH. Tor rate is also pretty good, But my personal preference is magnesium citrate

and it's because it's easy on the stomach. It's best absorbed, and the you're getting kind of like what you pay for, like you're getting overall, um, basically what it says in it. If it says two hundred milligrams, you're getting most of that two milligrams if you take an ox side. There's a lot of studies out there that say it can actually be bad for you if you take the wrong form of it. Excellent. Well, justin thank you so much for taking the time to come on. I've really enjoyed

the conversation. Hey, Eric, I really I really appreciate you having me on, man, So thank you, Yes, take care, Thanks you too, Bye bye. If what you just heard was helpful to you, please consider making a donation to the One you Feed podcast Head over to one you Feed dot net slash support