And we are rolling. No mike check needed. This is the five hundred episode. You would think by now we would know what we are doing. No, No, I cannot believe we have released five hundred episodes. That's right, George Watsky the Rapper was our first episode. I know. I still remember very clearly recording those first few episodes, and uh, little by little, a little becomes a lot. As I like to say, apparently we are testament to that little
saying yes. So this episode is our five hundredth episode, and we're doing something a little different. We thought what we would do for this episode is here from you, our dear listeners, instead of hearing from us, uh or our guests, so much as making this about you, because we would not still be doing this after five hundred episodes if it were not for all of you being out there listening. That's so true. We also wouldn't be doing it if it weren't for that song by the Proclaimers,
I Will Walk five hundred miles. No, we actually probably would. Still, we still would. So what I thought we might start with is, maybe let's just start with the quote that began the very first episode. This is George Watsky, And this is the very first thing anyone ever heard from the One You Feed. I love life, I love living. I believe in good, I believe in beauty. But I also think that it's important not to turn a blind eye to all the messed up things that are going
on our planet. Welcome to the One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think ring true. And yet for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our hear it. But it's
not just about thinking our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf. So that was the first ever quote of the very first episode. And now we're going to play the first ever response to the parable. Now we are not going to play the reading of the parable because boy, was I rough at it in episode number one, But here
is Watsky's response. Yeah, I mean it's very profound, it's awesome. I mean the first thing that springs to mind is just I'm not a perfect person. I know that the capacity for evil exists inside me. I've seen it rear its head. But I also believe that every human beings good too. And you know, as an artist and as a person, we get to choose on a daily basis what direction we want to take our lives and our art.
And I've tried to do that with honesty. I've tried my best to do it with integrity every step of the way. I try to make the choices that I think I'm going to be able to live with and that my parents are gonna be proud of me for. And I fail sometimes. But I'm very proud of the little empire in world that we've built with our fellow artists that we're on the road with, you know. So I think that relates to everyone. You know, everyone is fighting a constant struggle for trying to let the good
parts of themselves emerge, and nobody's perfect. So that was a great response from George Watsky. That was the first Parable response we ever recorded. And then Eric, are we're going to head on now to some interviews and listener voicemails. Yeah, what we've got here are me interviewing a number of listeners about what the parable means to them and how they feed their good Wolf, interspersed with some voicemails that we asked listeners to send in about what the show
has meant to them. So we'll go back and forth between those things really for the rest of the episode. And thank you everybody again for five hundred episodes of the one You Feed podcast. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. We are so grateful for your listening, for your support for your friendship over all these years. And since we have the microphone set up, we're going to record the intro now for our one thousand episode. Now that I might be getting a little ahead of ourselves, Okay,
enjoy everybody. Hi Jane, welcome to the show. Hi Eric, Thanks for having me. I am really excited to talk with you. You are one of the people over the years that I have gotten to know very well from doing the show. We've worked together in a variety of different ways. You've been a long time listener, and I'm so honored to have you on. I'm happy to help celebrate. So let's start like we always do with the Parable.
In the Parable, there's a grandparent who's talking with their and child and they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandchild stops and thinks about it for a second, looks up at their grandparents, says, well, which one wins?
And the grandparents says, the one you feed. So I'd love to know what that parable means to you in your life. So I started listening to the podcast back in and I was in a really dark place then, and I would say that my bad wolf was pretty much running the show, and I had no concept of how to live with intention or how to live a value space life. And when I started listening to the podcast, the parable and the conversations really spoke to something inside
of me. And I think what set the podcast apart for me was that it wasn't just ideas and information because I had a lot of that I was in my fifties, but it was how it take those ideas and really translate them into practices, and over time I just those practices just added up to some really significant
change in my life with the better. So what the parallel has come to me to me is that I get to choose, and that's just not something I ever knew before that on any given day and in any given situation, I can ask myself, who do I want to be in the world today, or who do I want to be in this situation? And I can't always decide what the day brings or what life is bringing to me at that moment, but I can always decide who I want to be and how I'm showing up
and how I'm responding. And on the days that I'm choosing to respond with kindness and love and joy and gratitude and connection, my life feels like expansion and I can move in the world in a in a much lighter way. What I've come to learn is that I still hold space for my bad wolf, and when those aspects are showing up, whether it be fear or anxiety or impatience or a really loud inner critic that they
almost always have something that I need to know. So it's not that I don't listen to my bad Wolf anymore. It's just that she doesn't get to me in charge of writing my story any longer. That's so well said, And one of the things that we thought would be great about doing an episode with listeners is that a lot of times people will say to me, well, you know the people that you have on the show. Of course they know how to do this stuff. They're best
selling authors, right. And one of the things I've so admired about you over the years is you have not had an easy few years. And I'll let you share to whatever degree you are not comfortable, because these are personal details. But I have watched you really work to feed your good Wolf through challenges, and I think that's one of the really exciting things about this episode would be for listeners to hear about, yeah, this is hard, and hear some of what I do. Is there anything
you feel like you could share in that area. It's been a pretty talent. In a few years, I lost my mother, we dealt with COVID several times, I have a son who struggles with mental illness, I've had pretty significant health issues. I struggled with addiction for a very long time, so I've had some significant challenges. But what I've learned is if I just keep relying on the practices and keep showing up in a consistent way, that over time, change isn't linear and it isn't easy, but
it is possible. What are some of the practices that you use to feed your good wolf? Meditation and time and stillness, preferably outside is probably one of the most key things. I try to move my body every day. I look for the good and I noticed moments of awe in life that's really important to me. I have some morning rituals that are key. I intentionally practice kindness. I have joy and gratitude practices that I rely on
every day. Those are some of the things, and a new one for me is actually connecting with other people. That's the way that I feed my good wealth. Yeah, you have done some really amazing things with kindness over the last few years. Share with me how and why kindness has been such an important part for you of
feeding your good wolf. I think that it was always one of my values, but when I started intentionally practicing kindness, it became a true spiritual refuge for me, and it just reminds me of who I want to be in the world. It's back to that bad wolf, good wolf. It's the essence of who I want to be in the world. And when I'm intentionally practicing kindness, it's just a reminder of this is what matters, and this is
who I want to be. So one of the things that I learned from you that I have since used with a number of clients, and I think it's a beautiful way of thinking about making progress is instead of just counting consecutive days of sobrietying your recovery, you've you've done something different. Yes, one of my morning rituals is back in April of twenty nineteen, I started a marble jar and for every day I was sober, I put
a marble in the jar. And what I loved about that is I wasn't always sober, so on the days that I wasn't, I just didn't add a marble, but I didn't take anything away either, And over time those marbles are now over a thousand marbles in the jar, and it's just a visual reminder of when my inner critic does get loud or when I think I can't do something, it's a visual reminder of yes, you can change.
I love that practice because I've talked about it on the show when we've interviewed you know, addiction experts about how I understand why we count consecutive days in recovery. You know there is something to be said for the length of time you are away from a drink. But I also think it really is an all or nothing metric, and it really does not allow us to see that
we can be making a huge amount of progress. Like to your point, you've got over a thousand marbles in there, which means the vast, vast majority of days you've been sober, if I had to guess, would be ninety seven percent plus or whatever. But if we graded that on a hundred percent scale, it would look like I'm not doing well,
which is what the abstinence scale is. And I just love the way you do that, because, ay, we know that tracking progress is important, and we also know that, as b. J. Fogg says, we learned better by feeling good than feeling bad, and looking at a jar full of marbles is a way to feel good. It's a really powerful reminder of what I'm capable of. Yes, trust me you are. Would you be willing to share a
little bit about what making connections has meant to you? Yeah, making connections has been a really important part of seating my good wealth. And that's something new in my life because I just didn't have a lot of connection. I
didn't think I was worthy of connection. And one of the things that the podcast brought me was to the Special Habits program, and the Special Habits Program gave me a chosen family, and the connections that I've made in the One You Faked community are among the most cherished relationships in my life now and in my mid fifties. My life is full of connection and meaning and love and acceptance. And the one you see it has been
really instrumental in bringing you into this place. Well, thank you Jane for spending a little bit of time to share with us what the parable means to you and the practices that you have put into your own life and the work that you've done to bring yourself to a better place. So thank you so much. Thank you. Hi, Eric, Jenny, Chris Nicole. This is a Lisa calling from Northern California and I just wanted to say thank you so much for the podcast. I absolutely love it. I look forward
to seeing a new episode of my feed. It's my favorite podcast, and anyone that knows me knows this. I'm constantly sending episodes to friends and family members, especially my children. And yeah, I discovered the podcast in January of at
the perfect time. The Pete Holmes episode was the first episode I listened to, and I remember I was about to go on a long drive and I needed something to listen to, and I saw the artwork with the wolf and thought, oh my god, I love the wolf parable and I love wolves, and that's honestly what pulled me in, and seeing that Pete Holmes was the guest. So I gave it a download, gave it a listen,
and literally have not stopped listening since. So thank you so much for continuing to just provide quality entertain payment information. I've really enjoyed participating in Spiritual Habits circle of Connection and even getting some coaching from Eric. So I'm just really appreciating you all, and congratulations. Thank you. I'm going to keep listening and feeding my good wolf. Hello, Eric, this is Colleen from rosemar Quebec I really appreciate your
interview style on your podcast. I find the conversations with guests enlightening, even when the same topic comes up again and again, such as the dilemma over whether to accept negative thoughts and feelings or find ways of influencing them. Thank you so much for the positive influence that you've had on my life. I look forward to the podcast each week, and I hope you'll continue to produce it.
Hi Eric, Hi Chris. I almost didn't record this again because I felt like it would be redundant and um just not very eloquently put as all your episodes are. But I do feel a pole to send a message to y'all because your podcast has truly changed my life and I've lived in my twenties with your podcast. I'm now twenty seven. I started to listen to your podcast
when I was in college at twenty two. I was having a lot of anxiety, a lot of panic attacks, gone through a lot of hardships in my life, and your podcast just gave me the tools that I needed and gave me hope and cut me live my life better. And my relationships are just completely different. My life is different, my mind and my brain is different to thank you from the bottom of my heart, from all of the
people in my life. I thank you for all that you've given, all the time that you've invested, all the intentions that you've placed with each episode of each author, each book that you've decided to interview. Those books have changed my life, and the ones that I've been able to read so far, I've changed my life. And I am going to always be grateful and I know that one day I'm going to be able to give back in the way that you have. And so I'm just
so glad that I've crossed paths with this podcast. I'm so glad that I know you and I hang out with you every week. So thank you. Hi p J. Welcome to the show. Hi Eric, thank you so much for having me. Yeah, thank you for being here. You're somebody that I've gotten to know through the Spiritual Habits programs and through being a listener of the show, and I know listeners are going to love the chance to get to know you also. But let's start like we
always do with the parable. In the parable, there's a grandparents, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life. Yeah, thank you. I've heard so many people answer that, so hopefully I do it justice. But I don't think actively how I strategically kind of feed my wolf. I think of kind of the things I don't do,
and specifically how that relates to my mental health. So I have an anxiety disorder and o c D, which I am very public about and I love promoting mental health. But as a kid and as I got older, I did not feed my good wolf when I handled that anxiety, and when I had situations, I would wrap my hands around my brain and try and figure everything out, and
that just made things worse. So finding things like mindfulness, meditation, you know, different aspects of spirituality have really really helped. It's allowed me to kind of take my hands off of the control aspect of it, which really allows me to be a bit more present, see my thoughts, see my emotions in a more conscious manner. And of course it's still there, there's the pain, but maybe not as
much suffering, and then I can build better habits. So it all starts with that, for me being present, being mindful, and then all of the of course challenging things that go along with building habits aren't easy either, but it starts with the mindfulness. And so you're saying that for you, there's been a fair amount of mental health issues with o c D and anxiety. It sounds like some of it is not doing for you. It's letting go of
the expectation that things would be a certain way. Yes, and how I handle that thought or sensation, because I would wrestle with it. It should not be this way, and sometimes it's just unfortunately an uncomfortable feeling. But the less I wrestle with it, whether it's anxiety or o c D, generally, the less my mind hangs onto it. But it's an ongoing challenge and kind of keeping up with my practices and doing things physically from my body,
eating right, you know, exercising all those things. It's a number of different things. But the less I'm trying to force it to be a certain way, usually the better it goes. And it was mind blowing how much my mind is naturally doing on its own and picking up on things and you know, preparing for things for me personally, at least, I don't need to give it that much more incentive. It's very it's very dialed into what's going on.
So for me personally, that is a good strategy. Now I'm sure it's different for everybody on how their brain handles different stimuli, but for me, that strategy works best. You referenced a couple of things they're eating well, exercised. So what all are the habits that you referenced that
broadly speaking support your mental health. Yeah, so mindfulness, meditation first and foremost, and the other thing is probably are not rocket science running, I started playing tennis recently, exercising, not eating crap too much now I I definitely do. And I think an important thing is you're never feeding
your good wolf percent of the time. So you know, and I'll have you know, weekends or you know, times where it's like, wow, that was awful and I feel like crap because of it, or a miss mindfulness and I feel awful after a long stretch, and that kind of is a trigger to me that you know, you need to get back with it. So those are some of the things, and I think one of the things is also begin doing those habits, starting small and not
having big expectation aations. I got to the point where I was doing mindfulness for fifteen twenty minutes, which was longer for me, but then I have more recently had to go back to five minutes. So starting small something you talk about at the time is a simple concept, but it's really powerful. How do you find mindfulness meditation
work for you with o c D disorder? Right? It sounds like, boy, it could be hard to sit there with a brain kind of really spinning, because that's the nature of your O c D. Years is less about like the I've got to touch something thirty times, It's more about the obsessive thoughts. So talk to me about how that works with mindfulness meditation for you. Yeah, and mindfulness is not the only treatment. Pro c D E r P is very popular and I do kind of
a blend of those. But mindfulness is helpful for me because it allowed me to get a little separation from my thoughts and see them for what they are. One of the things really challenging with o c D is these thoughts are so invasive and often so off the wall something you would never want to think, but they're really invasive. So getting that separation gave me a little bit of distance, and for me, at least, the emotional response also dropped a bit. Again. It doesn't mean I
don't do compulsions. It doesn't mean there aren't other ways to help treat it, but doing mindfulness and seeing those thoughts for what they are, and they do eventually always go away. Some are much more challenging than others. But just seeing that it was just mind blow for O, c D or anything, just how invasive they can be, but also how kind of transient they are, so it
kind of gave me that perspective. Awesome. Well, thank you so much p J for taking the time to share a little bit with us about how you feed your good wolf. Thank you, Eric, and I've listened to the podcast since I was struggling pretty hard with some of these things, and I'm still working on them. It's still a work in progress, but thank you for all you do for people like me or anyone listening trying to improve their lives of it. Well, we are all a
work in progress for sure, aren't we. Absolutely congratulations to the wonderful one you Feed team. On five episodes, this show has been a life saving, life changing resource. It is the number one bit of media that I recommend to friends when they're going through hard times and I guess in that way, hopefully the wonderful work that Eric is leading ripples across from person to person to person.
So thank you Eric for sending that transmission out there and making the world a better place for all of us. My name is Carrie. I live in Edinburgh in Scotland, and the one you feed means a great deal to me. It actually helped me get through an extremely tough time in my life. It was during the pandemic. My partner and I were getting ready to go home to our respective homes of Ireland for me and Spain for her,
and her father really sadly suddenly died. It was very painful and sad, and for myself it actually opened up a lot of trauma because my own father had died when I was eleven on Christmas Day, and you know, we're all sort of defenses are week during the pandemic, so I really wasn't prepared for that kind of trauma. I went back to Ireland to try to get to Spain to go to the funeral. I couldn't get there, so I was in Ireland for a wee bit of time actually, and I couldn't get access to therapy, and
really really needed it. So just googles, you know, kind of self help, and through that then find the One You Feed. And honestly, I tell so many people really carried me through that really difficult time and I listened to it constantly in in the morning, when I was cooking in the bath, I had to listen to it to go to sleep. I couldn't get to sleep any
other way. And just having that kind of pillar and that advice and alligned myself to kind of learn from people who have gone through really tough experiences and you know they were okay, and exploring all these different parts of myself and the strength that I didn't really realize I had, which is so important. Whenever I didn't feel strong at all, I felt so anxious. Actually, the anxiety
part really had taken over me. And the One you feed, you know, the topics that were discussed, the speakers and the host. It was just really such a support pillar. As I say so, I kind of like changing. So yeah, thank you to the One You Feed. Please keep making
the podcasts. Even after hundreds and hundreds of times of listening to the parable, I still agree with so much and have different sort of thoughts on how I interpret it, but I find it really difficult to move into that next step of kind of applying it to my life. So I always look forward to thinking about it more and I really want to move into action to make sure that I'm kind of applying it to my life
in the right way. My name is Emily. I live on Vashon Island in Washington State, and I've been listening to The One You Feel for a really long time. I don't even know how long, but years um one of the first podcasts I ever started listening to, and I've been a listener and a supporter ever since. I feel like every week I pick up some little nugget or not so little nugget of wisdom that I really apply in my life. So thanks for all you guys do.
It's really made a difference. Hi body, welcome to the show. Thank you, thanks for having me. It's great to be on the show. Yeah, you are coming to us from Australia. What part of Brisbane? Where on the sort of out of margins of Brisbane. I have been surprised by how popular we have been in Australia in comparison to some other places. We have a lot more listeners in Australia than I would think for the size of Australia. So for whatever reason, we've always resonated over there, So thank you.
We're more introspective bunch than people probably give us credit for. I think sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, well, I've also had a number of coaching clients from Australia and one of these days we're going to get over there because it seems like my kind of place. So so yeah, it is a beautiful place, too real too. I know that some people in America believe that we're hoax. Well I didn't going to show you all that. I don't get paid to pretend Australia. All right, all right, there you go,
there you go. I actually did not know that people in the US thought Australia as a hoax, but I am not at the same time surprised. So let's start like we always do with the parable. In the parable, there's a grandparent, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life. Yeah. Sure, it's a parable
that I've loved for a long time. Part of what attracted me to show was that it's called the one you feed, and so I knew that it would be feeding a good wolf just listening to it with such a title. My experience of the parable is the very ground level one, I suppose, just of how it applies in my daily life, and the quality that comes to mind at the moment is gratitude and thinking about speaking to you, I was thinking of an experience I had
recently where I woke up in the morning. There was no problems, me and my family were getting along well, work was fine, everything was fine. But I woke up doing super negative. I realized that there was no reason for it. There's been no trigger um that I must just be in a habituated state. And I've been practicing a gratitude journal for around three months or so. I've been really committed to it. I've been doing every day, and I decided this morning, I'm over there, sick of it.
There's no need for this, seems spontaneous almost. I just decided to flood my brain with thoughts of all the things I'm grateful for, and it didn't even take long for it to have an effect, but totally transformed my mood. I went into a flow state. I went about getting ready for work in a really joyful way, and I
had a great day. That for me is is a story about how feeding the good wolf over time that means that quality grows, you know, that gratitude becomes more spontaneously accessible and naturally and inevitably leads to positivity and optimism and enjoy even in that case, just a general acceptance that I've been in a bad mood. That happens and I was able to transform it. There's a bunch of things in that story that I think are illustrative.
I think one is, like you said, there's just sometimes we wake up and we're like, well, I don't even know what it is. But part of what is cool about that was you had the wherewithal to think about it and reflect and go, Okay, well, I guess this is just a habitual tendency. And so right there, I think by just recognizing what was happening, you did some good work there. And then from there. I love that. You know, on one hand, part of you was like,
all right, this gratitude stuff, I'm done with it. It's not doing any good. And yet, like you said, all that time you had put in sort of was building towards something positive. That then you were able to leverage when you needed it. It was quite a surprise, to be honest. The transformation was immediate. I didn't have to spend five minutes thinking of the things I'm grateful for. Just the act of deciding to change that mood caused
the flood of its own. Really. Yeah, and my experiences there are times like a practice doesn't really do much of anything, and then it seems like it's magic for a little while, and then it stops doing anything again, And you know, we kind of go up and down with this stuff. But I think that's part of the journey. So what are some of the other things you do that you think help you feed your good wolf. Lately I've been very into mindfulness, partly because doing the course
of Jenny. But I remember learning through Buddhism some time ago that when we spend time in mindfulness and we allow the obscurations come and fall away, rise and dwell and fall away, as they say, I think we find it naturally the good qualities present themselves, because that's our true nature. And so at the moment that's helping a lot. I'm just finding that through mindfulness, I'm less attached to feeling negative, I'm less attached to interpreting things as personal
attacks or peeves or triggers. I'm also doing a practice the type of mindfulness I suppose called the silent observer meditation, where I just try to imagine the mind as the sky, you know, the sky metaphor, and thoughts are just clouds, and so I imagine the mind there's the sky, and I try to not interact with the thoughts. And that's
also giving me space in my daily life. I'm noticing that the Frank Well quote about stimulus and response in the space between them, I think that's the most an official practice for me at the moment is cultivating that space so that when a negative thought or a negative emotion comes up, and just more spontaneously able to recognize that it's kind of a fiction, and I can choose to read it as I like, it's disempowering these compulsive tendencies,
and I'm just naturally feeling a bit more peaceful. Story fall almost less about feeding the good wolf than it is about just disabling the ferocity of the bad wolf. It's a dichotomous metaphor, I suppose, but there are nuances in between and things that fall outside the spectrum altogether. Not that I've about to name any of those, I don't think. But really, at the moment, it's about finding
the space between the two to stop them fighting. Maybe I'm trying to flog the metaphor now, Yeah, well, I think so much of what you're talking about is recognizing these habitual patterns of mine. So, you know, just recognizing like, oh, yep, okay, that's what my mind is doing. It doesn't mean it's necessarily correct, doesn't mean it's necessarily true. It's just something that's happening. Can I step back a little bit and observe it and then respond as wisely as possible back
to the story you started with. Strikes me as sort of a spontaneous wise response to Okay, the emotional weather inside for whatever reason, isn't good, and then a response, by seeing clearly what happened, a response came forth. Yeah, and the response is almost always more positive because of the practices that have been building the space for that.
And yes, I just also realized that that something else that's hoping a lot is doing my best to prioritize sleep over productivity or sleep over gaining a sense of achievement out of my day. The window of tolerance came up from the class this morning, outside of which we stopped being able to cope. Yeah, I can't remember the other words. But as I get older and less able to high function on minimal sleep, I'm noticing that if I neglect that aspect of my physics cool well being,
there's almost no hope of finding that space. I get way more irritable, impatient, self critical, all of the stuff. Just really it's had really strongly, and no amount of rule power or anything can transform it. We interviewed a woman years ago and she said something that stuck with me, which was basically, if you don't take care of your physical experience, you know, whether you don't sleep, you don't eat well, you don't move your body, you know you're
gonna feel like crap in some way. Now, the way that manifests may filter through your unique mental disposition or psychological disposition, but the body, if it doesn't feel good, it's going to show up mentally, and I think that
is just going to be less than optimally. Maybe it's that I was more physically resilient when I was younger, that I didn't notice that or maybe that's why I was such a basket case when I was younger, And I don't know, but I certainly have recognized, like, yeah, I've got to take care of myself physically, as boring as that is is boring is like get enough sleep.
You know, I feel like so much of this stuff, I start to feel like, you know, it's like your mother, like get enough vegetables, get enough sleep, But the stuff really does matter? Do you know what I'm more bored with? Though? What's that? A lot of hume of suffering that comes from not being responsible and disciplined enough to just do what your mother said and go to bed early. Any vegetables and the rest. Yes, amen, Yeah, I really enjoy
looking after myself. Some of my biggest frustrations come from genuinely not having enough time in the day to do that sometimes, especially in my work at the moment because of the distance to the sides. You know, I do an eight hour day, but by the time I've got up to get ready for work, travel there, etcetera, etcetera, it's a fourteen fifteen sometimes sixteen now a day and then you've got eight hours sleep to grab right, So there's literally not enough time to do all the self care.
So on the days that I do have off work, I work part time. I went to part time so that I could have more time to do this because the well being reward that comes from doing that self care is just way more exciting than how boring it is. Yeah, yeah, I love that. What's more boring is the low hum of suffering. That's great, Well, Bodie, thank you so much for taking the time to talk with me and talk with the listeners. I much appreciate it. Thank you too, Hi, Eric,
Chris and Jinny. I've been listening to The One You Feed for many many years now. I'm an Australian who lives in London, and I've hardly ever missed an episode. In the midst of my chaotic everyday life with full time work two kids, It's always been my go to safe haven each week we're walking to and from work, or whenever I get a free second, I look forward to listening to Eric and his amazing, inspiring guests. The show really is an integral part to aid me with
useful tools and practices on my spiritual journey. It helps ground me, even if for a split second at the beginning of the year. After much contemplation, I also took the Spiritual Habits program. This was a great experience with many useful and achievable tools on how to install spiritual habits. I especially find it helpful to have access to these
recordings whenever I need a little reminder. I really wanted to thank especially Eric, from the bottom of my heart for all the amazing work you do on yourself and in turn inspire me every day to be a better spiritual being, mother, part, our daughter, and friend. Thank you keep doing what you're doing. It's amazing. Hi. Eric, this is Maryland from Oklahoma. I've been listening to your podcast for many months, and it's hard to even pick out
all the ways it's been helpful for me. When I was thinking about recording this message, made me smile a little bit because you're weekly teaching song and poem. You're always expressing your gratitude, and it made me realize how hard it is to express gratitude when things matter so much to you. It seems like the words fail. So I thought I could at least give you some examples of how it's helpful for me to listen to your
podcast and to listen to you. One way, really important way is watching you expose yourself and be vulnerable over and over is impressive and something to shoot for in my life. I really appreciate that about you, that you show up as who you are, and I'm sure lots of darts and arrows can come your way, So I really appreciate that about you, um about how you do it not just every once in a while but all the time, which is even another level of something, So
thank you for that. There are a lot of episodes that have meant stuff to me and have sent me off and I think really good directions in my life. But I will say one that has made a profound impact was the one that you did about chronic pain. I forget the name of the guy now, but it has to do with pain, your processing therapy and the studies that were done with the boulder back pain study,
and anyway, you know which one that is. So that has an incredibly helpful thing to have learned about through your podcast, and I've started to employ that in my life and it's made a difference, and not just in pain, but really it can be applicable to so many things beyond pain. So again I'm exceedingly grateful for the opening that that particular podcast provided from my life. So I'll let it go with that, but I hope you just keep doing what you're doing. I guess my name is
Mario and I live in Denver, Colorado. The One You Feed has been life changing. I went through a very sad breakup a couple of years ago, and then right after that COVID hit, so you can imagine the state of depression and despair I was seeing. Thankfully, I came across the One You Feed. You guys helped me feel connected to you. You made me feel valued, You made
me company when I most needed it. On top of that, the knowledge I'm getting from you guys, from Eric Genie, the guest speakers, It's resurfacing my inner light and I am turning into a more compassionate, loving, selfless human being. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel like a totally different person from two years ago, so much more improved thanks to you. I Deborah, Welcome to the show.
I am really excited to have you on. I've gotten to know you through some of the different programs that we do and through being a listener of the show, and so I'm excited to let you share some of what works for you in your life to feed your good wolf. But let's start like we always do with a parable. There's a grandparent, the one you feed, So I'd like to start off by asking you what does
that parable mean to you in your life. Let's come to me a lot different than when I first heard it before I started listening to the podcast, of course, and now for me, it just has such a special meaning of like connection because I've taken like the parable itself to just reflect on my whole experience and community with the one you feed community, and it's just given me the words that come to mind or connection and
opportunity and love. So all those good wolf features have really just expanded, and you know, my horizon on them has just broadened so much, which is awesome. And then, of course there is always the other wolf. There's always the bad wolf, and so I can acknowledge the bad wolf, and I can definitely just have such a better perspective on what the bad wolf is trying to tell me and trying to teach me and trying to help me with.
So it's just a lot about learning and love, and I love that it's like a grandparent teaching their grandchild, because that just represents so much love and learning to me. So that's my answer, thank you. So maybe share with me, you know, some of the ways in which working to feed your good wolf has helped you deal with challenges in your life. Yeah, so my bad wealth was always
more dominant, I think for me. So I think working with the good wolf is like recognizing what the bad wolf is saying, like all these things like jealousy, you know, because if these things come up, I can look at them and understand them more and I can work with my good wolf to again have a better perspective on We always talk about what could this mean? And that's just been like a really significant saying or question that I can ask myself, like what does this mean? And
what am I making it mean? And I'm able to find new things for it to me. You know, it doesn't always mean these negative thoughts. It doesn't always mean that I'm behind the curve or you know, it just opens up what life means. Yeah, learning to be a little more flexible with like you said, what am I
making this mean? Events occur and as human we are meaning making machines and right away something happens and we give it a meaning and recognizing like that we're doing that and then saying, Okay, well what am I making this mean? And what else can I make it mean? Is such a useful tool? Yeah, totally, And then it just gives me also, like it just gets me more excited to expand my good wolf and recognize the things that do feed my good wolf and continue to do them.
What are some of those things for you that help you feed your good wolf? What are some of the practices that you do well? To be honest, it's uh, as we know, I'm a fourth time or in spiritual habits and coming every Sunday and just showing up and listening. And it doesn't matter what mood I started. When I leave these discussions, I feel so uplifted and so like ready to take things on, no matter what it is, And whatever struggles or challenges I might have been having
seems so much smaller. So coming to the groups and the courses has has definitely been um something that I do for the past couple of years, and it's just so great. What about outside of those, Well, just my life perspective is much more open. I was telling someone in our small group yesterday. Like I've noticed over the past I don't know, a year or so, I have gotten the most meaningful, random compliments from people of just
how I present myself and my attitude on life. And that to me is like so heartwarming and just such a compliment. So I like that, And I know it has to do with the way I've been learning these practices and stuff and actually putting these practices into my life. I think that was, you know, something that it was really challenging at first because you take a course, you know.
I definitely I was like, Okay, I'm gonna take this course and everything's gonna be fine and my life is gonna be great, and uh, you know, here I am taking it for the fourth time, and I realized like, yeah, my life is great and things are better and it's not a one and done, you know, it's like it's just an ongoing practice, which is kind of cool to finally realize that and accept it. Yeah, I will always say this that it was very very grateful obviously for
you and for the courses and for the podcast. And I definitely I started off as a podcast listener and I used to work out in this solo gym, like no one else was in there, and I would listen to the podcast and every time I'd be like, God, I just want to talk to these people. I just want to talk to these people. And so to have this opportunity is like, you know, something that I'm so
happy about to say, dream come true. I don't know that that sounds corny, but it is like something that I put my mind to and it kind of came to fruition. So opportunity is there for everyone anywhere, with whatever it is that people want to do, and that's something I've gained from this too. Excellent. Well, thank you so much Deborah for spending a couple of minutes with us and sharing, you know, some of what you do to feed your good wolf. Hi. My name is Maureen
and I live in Munich, Germany. I've been listening to The One You Feed for about a year and a half and I found this podcast to be so relevant to my ongoing struggles that it's been kind of a
go to for me for support and perspective. And through the When You Feed guess, I've discovered so many tremendously useful sources of information and jumping off points since first listening to the podcast, my personal interpretation of the parable has evolved over time quite a bit, and what's been transformative for me is to change how I see the bad wolf and now see the bad wolf is not really bad, but but fearal. It's greedy because it worries
that it won't have what it needs. It's angry and fearful because it's it's hurt, and I think it sees itself as the protector, as the stronger one. In the past, I think I tried to beat it into submission, which obviously doesn't work. It just makes it more fearful and
more aggressive. Today, I tried to treat that wolf more kindly, to parent it in a way, to hear what it has to say, to comfort it as much as I can, and focus on nourishing the good wolf so that it's strong enough to take the lead and that the bad wolf can safely step back. Hi. Everyone, this is Rack from San Diego, California. I am really excited to share in the celebration of the five hundredth episode of the
One You Feed podcast. This podcast has been so influential in my everyday life and the range and diversity of the different topics that gets discussed each week. I always look forward to listening in and gaining some great insight from the content being discussed. I love that Eric and Jenny get to the heart of the matter with all the discussions, and so that I always feel as if I walk away with some great information that I can use right there, right now in my every day, quite
often crazy schedule of a life. So thanks to everyone at the One You Feed podcast. I have been listening now an avid fan for several years, and I can quite honestly say it is my absolute favorite podcast of all time. Undouasedly, thanks everyone, and have a great date. Good morning, Eric, so great to talk to you. Congratulations on your five hundredth episode. Quite an accomplishment. We've met at two of your lectures in Rocky River, Ohio, and
at one of them I brought my step daughter. We both listened to a talk on getting unstuck and getting things done, and I really liked your system and I have incorporated many of those half an idea. Really as a family we really value because I've also told my three sons about you, and one of my sons, Austin, has contacted you for it. By phone and continues to listen to your podcast, as does my other son Eric, and I would tell you this is my number one podcast.
I recommend a friends for one thing your parable to have, since such important start on self reflections, which I think is lacking nowadays. It's so important to begin with self reflection. I think you're guests are excellent, engaging, they're smart, they have great ideas. And I would say a third thing I love about you is that you're so dark approachable. You really share your vulnerabilities. You don't come on like, hey, I've got it all together? What do I with you?
And that's what keeps people coming back. I feel like you're a friend of mine only because I hear your voice all the time, and I will continue to support this podcast. Congratulations. I hope you and Jenny are doing great. She's also a sweetheart. And keep going on this journey because I think you're helping a lot of people. I think you're really spreading love, love for self, love for one another. I think the world needs much more of Eric Zimmer and the one you feed, So keep up
the good work and congratulations. By now, Hi Charlie, welcome to the show. Hi are great to be here. I'm really excited to have you on and get a chance to talk with you. And we'll start like we always do, with the parable there is is a grandparent of the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do. I found this podcast in early two thousand one, so I'm very familiar with this. You know, I've never thought of how
I would answer it. The first thing that comes to mind for me really is you reinforce what you constantly do. So you know, one thing that's really been present for me is what you focus on that becomes more or less your reality. And with you know, everything related to the Bad Wolf, I've really changed my perception of that to be an all inclusive, like a holistic form. I've really learned to try to understand, well, why am I saying he's bad? If it's in me, that bad wolf
is also trying to show me something. It's trying to elucidate a point that maybe I'm calling it bad. But if it's in me, is it really bad? Or is it just a different take on something that might be uncomfortable or something I term is quote unquote negative or something like that. So I'm really trying to take a more holistic, healthy view of the partnership between the good wolf and the bad wolf and understand how they work together to make my life healthier, more wholesome, and more fulfilling.
That's great, And so you're really looking at what are those energies trying to tell you? I think so. Yeah, and the positive ones focus on them more, you know, reward them, keep doing them as much as you can. But the bad ones don't be afraid of them. I think for a lot of my life, especially with regards to the emotional side coming up, I think I've learned a lot too. In act, they call it diffusing for expanding as as needed. And I think the bad wolf is really can be a compass or like a guide
or a flag. I mean, those uncomfortable feelings can be so brutal when they come up that let's take a pause, step back and and see what is this trying to tell me? Be curious about them and learn from the bad wolf. As you were talking, is thinking the bad wolf. It's the energies come up and the emotions and those are as we would say neither good nor bad. They're just feelings. It's the response to them that we might
say is more or less skillful. I've joked on the show before that I like the term skillful and unskillful better than bad and good. But a skillful and unskillful wolf parable just really doesn't have it doesn't have a lot of teeth in it, right. But I think that's what you're saying, is, you know, how do I not immediately turn away from the negative emotions but learn to work with them skillfully. Yeah. I think that's a great
summary of that. So can you think of any challenges in your life that working with these ideas from the show have helped you overcome or deal with differently? Yeah? A dred percent. I Actually this is something I've been meaning to um kind of bring up to you and Jenny.
It's it's really in you know, career type things, and also, I think, and more importantly personal and romantic relationships, where I guess I don't really have a great design of what a healthy romantic relationship looks like all the time, and I've taken so many of the principles and applied them directly to you know, relationships with others, even friends
and family should add in that category. But really, I think in the romantic realm, that's one of my main focuses over the course of the past couple of years, you know, having just turned forty, not having a wife for kids yet have a girlfriend, but we have our issues, and you know, just working through all of those, I think it's made me a healthier, more well adjusted kind of like, Okay, what do I want? What are these deep feelings coming up? So I've applied nearly every podcast
to romantic relationships. And if you know, if a course and that ever came up, I would, you know, I'd be all in. And I have a thought in mind to, you know, go back to school to get an MSW and really study like modern relationships and things like that. So I think I am light years ahead in that realm of my life due to some of the principles that I've learned and I'm trying to work into daily life. I had a friend and him and his wife were having struggles, and they asked me if I would coach
the two of them together. And I did that for a little while, and I quickly realized, like, that's a different thing than than the sort of individual coaching that I do, I quickly learned like, okay, but the same principles really do apply across the board, you know. The big one being kind of back to what you said earlier is like being aware of what's coming up within me, recognizing it, not not having to suddenly have a reaction to make it go away, and then thinking about, all right,
how do I want to respond? Right those layers of your personality, your family, your closest friends, and your romantic relationship. I think they get right in there and trigger that the deepest, darkest stuff, which is often places that we don't dwell in, you know, whatever the issue it's. I don't think people naturally delve or even are aware of, you know, trauma that came up in childhood that is still playing out in their daily lives, that that comes
up all that often. You know, email at work can do it, I guess, But like email and going to the grocery store doesn't. Hopefully it doesn't drag up you know, you're the darkest stuff, and if it does, yeah that's I don't know. But yeah, I think romantic relationships, family, um, close friends, they get in there and you discover things that you know, sometimes you're like, where is this even coming from? Again, there's the bad wolf showing you, well,
what is the issue here? And delving into that discomfort and being more self aware of what you want and being able to clearly and responsibly communicating to your partner what you want. I think that's an ongoing challenge that these principles are really helpful, if not critical, But they do seem like a bass layer, right, Like, they seem such a foundation. You've referenced, you know some of these principles. Are there a couple that come to mind that have
been particularly important for you? Yeah, Acceptance has been of the things that that we've discussed in classes. That one has been the hardest and the most fruitful in terms of Okay, allow everything to be as it is. Okay, got it? Then we can work with that, right Like you know, serenity, prayer stuff. What can you control? What can't you? The discernment between you know, is this a controllable or is this external? And I can't focus on it?
Just the delineation of that is extremely helpful. So that's the one that I need to work on the most and has been the most beneficial and then, are there any practices that you do in your own life that help you to feed your good wolf. The practices that have helped most are doing a dedicated journal of morning pages. I think I heard that on your show, Um, so I started to do that. That has been super helpful.
And walking, like walking meditation, or just setting aside when I'm walking around my house to be mindful of as much as I possibly can in those moments. And to me it does feel like a meditation. Being mindful while doing things is kind of my form of meditation that I find to be really helpful. I mean, I will lay down on the couch for five minutes, ten minutes, whatever and just be silent. I don't count that as much as meditation as much as I do would just
be silent. Yeah, I'm glad that you're able to sort of notice what does work for you. You know, writing, walking, and just trying to be present as you go about your life are more helpful than sitting down and meditating, because I think for everybody, different practices resonate differently. Well, Charlie, thank you so much for agreeing to come on and share a little bit of your experience with us. Thanks so much, really appreciated and monitored to be honest, see
Charlie Bye. Hello. My name is Serreta. I have been a listener since and recently became a Patreon supporter. Thank you for all you do such a great program. Thanks for being a inspiration and support over the years. Congratulations on your five episode, hopes for many more. Hallo. My name is Tim. I'm from Germany and this is not the first time I tried to record this message. I think there's still a lot of need for perfection side
of me, something I would have said. I already learned also from the One You Feed podcasts that yeah, there is no perfect three piece. Can I get them together? And nothing is permanent personal and perfect got that from the When You Feed and try to have more balance in my life with the middle way and try not
to go to either side to extremely otherwise. I wanted to express my gratitude towards When You Feed for helping me in a time of crisis and I had a major depressive episode when I first encounter the One You Feed and the interviews are conducted with the wise people really helped me. I try my best to focus on important things in life and needing a healthy lifestyle with sleep and food and sports and everything that you just need to do as a human being to be psychologically healthy.
I really appreciate the scientific approach that you've often take in the one you feed. Yeah, I guess I got a lot of techniques how to deal with me when life is hard again sometimes life as a human as heart and yeah, I learned this also from the one You feel that it's okay to have these intense emotions and they're okay. Thank you very much. Hi there, my
name's Vicki Hunter. I live in Bolta, Colorado half the year in Karna, Hawaii, half the year, and this podcast has been so manyful to me in so many ways. In particular, I appreciate the episode of four or two where Eric spoke with j Michaelson and when they spoke about the running and returning theme and mystical judaism, it really spoke to me and actually helped me find the title for my memoir. It is upcoming in June. It's
when you're published by CG Sports Publishing Company. And I'm so grateful for everything that I learned from listening to this podcast, and once again that particular episode really informed a lot of my thoughts about intergenerational trauma, which is at the heart of my memoir, and how we go through life kind of experiencing bad things and how we deal with them. So once again, Eric, thank you for all you do. I really appreciate the podcast and grateful
thank you. Thank you to everyone who allowed themselves to be interviewed. Thank you for all of you who submitted a voicemail. We are so appreciative. And again, thank you to all of the listeners. We are so grateful for you and we look forward to many more episodes together. Take care. If what you just heard was helpful to you, please consider making a monthly donation to support the One
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