The Offensive - podcast cover

The Offensive

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.


'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian


'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ


This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Episodes

Episode 160 - Name and Shame

For the first time in its history, the Ashwood City Stadium has changed its name courtesy of a new revenue stream secured by Chairman Patrick Nolan MBE. The fallout from this momentous chapter in the club's history is hostile, to say the least. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With...

Oct 03, 202223 minSeason 5Ep. 8

Episode 159 - Lever Pitch: Part Two

It's the day of the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II. In a momentous occasion for both the club and country, an opportunistic Patrick Nolan decides to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer. The Offensive will return after the International Break. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery...

Sep 19, 202226 minSeason 5Ep. 7

Episode 158 - Lever Pitch: Part One

It's a momentous day in Ashwood City's history as they travel to the Nou Camp to take on Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League... The historic occasion is somewhat spoiled by a deepening financial crisis at the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Joel Emery Darcey Ferguson Episo...

Sep 12, 202223 minSeason 5Ep. 6

Episode 157 - Toon Can Play At That Game

Ashwood City are the visitors at St James' Park in a must-win game for the Super Whites. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall & Kieran Broom John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.p...

Sep 05, 202229 minSeason 5Ep. 5

Episode 156 - Deadline Day

League form has never been worse, their Head Coach has finally been charged by the police and a multitude of other crises emerge... Ashwood City are feeling the heat as Deadline Day approaches. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel ...

Aug 29, 202221 minSeason 5Ep. 4

Episode 155 - A New Leaf

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall enjoy the facilities of Broadley Country Club. All is not as it seems, however, as Patrick confides in his Chief Executive. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contai...

Aug 22, 202221 minSeason 5Ep. 3

Episode 154 - Apportunity Knocks

Ashwood staff are impressed with the delivery of a summer project by the new Ashwood City Chief Executive Officer. An envious Patrick Nolan sets out to undermine all the hard work done by Chris 'Woody' Woodall and the rest of the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ash...

Aug 15, 202221 minSeason 5Ep. 2

Episode 153 - 2022/2023 SEASON: The Nolan Era

Premier League football returns as Ashwood City host Fulham at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E is eager to kick off the new era with a bang, whilst newly appointed C.E.O Chris 'Woody' Woodall concentrates on cleaning the mess left by Head Coach Eric Van Smit's antics at the end of last season. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Additional Voices: Joel Emery Kate Mas...

Aug 08, 202229 minSeason 5Ep. 1

Introducing... BOOM Season One | Out now

The makers of The Offensive are here to introduce you to their groundbreaking new drama, BOOM, starring Akie Kotabe, Sharon D. Clarke MBE and Omari Douglas. This is Episode 1, just search ‘BOOM’ wherever you get your podcasts to get all six episodes of Season One now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jun 27, 202239 min

Episode 152 - Finale: Part 2

Ashwood City are leading 2-1 in a game they simply must win. Yet with just 15 minutes remaining they've been caught on the break with no one back to cover... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Ant McGinley as David Hall With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patre...

May 23, 202219 minSeason 4Ep. 35

Episode 151 - Finale: Part 1

Ashwood City head into their final game of the 2021/22 season: a home tie against relegation battlers Leeds United. With a win Ashwood City would seal Champions League qualification for the first time in a generation. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Ant McGinley as David Hall Episode written by: Joe...

May 16, 202220 minSeason 4Ep. 34

Episode 150 - All Good Things Come To A Friend

Patrick Nolan MBE has secured full ownership of the club as Ashwood City thrash Norwich and set up a tantalising final pair of fixtures against Brighton and Leeds. The new takeover however has a final few tweaks to the personnel before completion. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks t...

May 09, 202224 minSeason 4Ep. 33

Episode 149 - Bid Adieu

Anaheim Sports Group are finalising the sale of 55% of Ashwood City to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, making him the outright owner of the club. As well as Anaheim Sports Group, Manchester City are also in town as Ashwood look to remain in the race for Champions League qualification. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With than...

May 02, 202226 minSeason 4Ep. 32

Episode 148 - Manic Room

After a demoralising defeat to Everton at Goodison Park, the Ashwood City juggernaut has stalled... But the headlines are dominated by an offer from Patrick Nolan to purchase the rest of the club and the news has hit the fanbase hard. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season ...

Apr 25, 202222 minSeason 4Ep. 31

Episode 147 - Sun's Out, Funds Out

Chief Executive Patrick Nolan MBE is enjoying a well-earned break in the Seychelles. Little does he know that a seismic decision Stateside will cut his trip short. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contai...

Apr 18, 202222 minSeason 4Ep. 30

Episode 146 - Force Mature

Ashwood City have rediscovered their form at the right time in the season. Next up, fellow sanctioned Premier League side Chelsea FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodc...

Apr 11, 202220 minSeason 4Ep. 29

Episode 145 - Business As Unusual

Premier League football returns, as does a familiar face to Ashwood City Football Club... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content s...

Apr 04, 202228 minSeason 4Ep. 28

Introducing... Jackie the Ripper Season Two | Out Monday 28th March

From the creators of The Offensive. The chart-topping comedy drama retelling the Whitechapel murders returns for a second series. Search ‘Jackie the Ripper’ wherever you get your podcasts to catch up on season one now and follow @ JackieRipperPod on Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mar 25, 20221 min

Episode 144 - From Russia with Love

An unprecedented sanction has hit Ashwood City Football Club following the exposure of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's links to problematic Russian investment. With tight restrictions and panic setting in, Patrick must ensure he can get the UK government to ease the ruling. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Produce...

Mar 21, 202222 minSeason 4Ep. 27

Episode 143 - Anger Management

A humbling 3-0 defeat at West Ham prompts Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to review the game in the analysis room. Interim Head Coaches Chris Well, David Hall and the entire first team squad are in attendance for the match review. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam ...

Mar 14, 202222 minSeason 4Ep. 26

Episode 142 - Deep Blue Sea

With global politics playing havoc with the stability of Ashwood City assets, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has his eye drawn to another Premier League club as Ashwood host Newcastle United at Dartley Park. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This...

Mar 07, 202225 minSeason 4Ep. 25

Episode 141 - The Special One(s)

After a humbling defeat to Burnley at Turf Moor, filling the vacant managerial role has become an absolute priority for the club. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh disperse amongst European cities to approach their managerial targets. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel ...

Feb 28, 202226 minSeason 4Ep. 24

Episode 140 - The Breakfast Club

In the early hours of the morning, Ashwood City Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall wakes to the news that club captain Kieran Broom has committed a public misdemeanour after being removed from a nightclub. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Share...

Feb 21, 202225 minSeason 4Ep. 23

Episode 139 - Fool's Gold

Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is working closely with Amazon Prime Video to ensure that the next season of 'All or Nothing' covers Ashwood City Football Club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Nalan Burgess as Nina Bradshaw Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders...

Feb 14, 202225 minSeason 4Ep. 22

Episode 138 - The Wrong Man

A jaw dropping exit by Head Coach Sven Goran Eriksson in the closing stages of Deadline Day leaves Ashwood City in disarray. A long term managerial search is in the pipeline, but in the short term the club need to choose a man for the job. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joe...

Feb 07, 202223 minSeason 4Ep. 21

Episode 137 - Deadline Day: Part 2

Deadline day has arrived and Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is chasing the highly controversial offer from Real Madrid for star forward Kevin; much to the dismay of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood...

Jan 31, 202222 minSeason 4Ep. 20

Episode 136 - Deadline Day: Part 1

Ashwood City host a thrilling Premier League clash with Wolves as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall field unwanted interest in Kevin from a European super club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional Voices: Joel Emery Joaquin Augusto Quinteros Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emer...

Jan 24, 202224 minSeason 4Ep. 19

Episode 135 - (AF)CON AIR

As matchweek two of AFCON begins, Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly out to Cameroon to ensure high profile talent Christian Akuffo is being taken care of. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With th...

Jan 17, 202226 minSeason 4Ep. 18

Episode 134 - The Christmas Special One IV

The Ashwood City hierarchy head to The Big Apple. Brazilian centre forward Kevin, however, is lost in New York. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This...

Dec 20, 202131 minSeason 4Ep. 17

Episode 133 - The Fairytale of New York

In the fallout from his recent public faux-pas, pressure is mounting on Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he attempts to evade the authorities. A visit to a local children's hospital, however, may have given him the inspiration he needs. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executiv...

Dec 13, 202120 minSeason 4Ep. 16
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