Novelist, blogger & script editor Lucy V Hay shares her writing that failed before she became a published novelist, and screenplays that have yet to find a home. Struggling with mental health issues and a subsequent cancer diagnosis, Lucy shares the story of how she went from being a teenage mum to becoming a successful novelist and script editor, and the driving force behind Bang2Write, one of the most well-regarded writing websites in the UK. Audio Note: Apologies but unexpected software i...
Aug 09, 2025•53 min•Ep. 34
TV, film and radio comedy writer Dan Maier reveals a cornucopia of different formats for his offcuts that include a radio sketch written for a famous double act, a children's science fiction trilogy and a Victorian blog entry. CAST: Chris Pavlo, Jake Yapp, Helen Goldwyn, Nigel Pilkington and Emma Clarke Dan Maier is a television and radio writer with a career spanning satire, sitcoms, sketch, film, gameshow and comedy formats. He began writing for Have I Got News For You in the early 1990s and h...
Jul 26, 2025•54 min•Ep. 33
Best-selling thriller novelist and author Louise Candlish shares her writing offcuts which include: a deleted chapter from one of her most successful novels, a TV drama that didn't get picked up, the prologue of an abandoned novel, a pitch for a book written before the idea was fully developed, and a couple of stories that reveal her taste for melodrama from a very young age. CAST: Beth Chalmers, Helen Goldwyn, Emma Clarke and Marcus Hutton Louise Candlish is an internationally bestselling autho...
Jul 12, 2025•54 min•Ep. 32
Advertising copywriter and novelist Paul shares rejected scripts that include a screenplay about a cab-driving priest, a dog that could still become a household name and a romantic reunion for the radio. Cast: Chris Pavlo, David Lane Pusey, Helen Goldwyn, Christopher Kent, Marcus Hutton Warning: This episode contains strong language Paul Burke is a multi‑award‑winning advertising copywriter and producer, widely recognised as one of the UK’s foremost radio creatives. His work has earned him over ...
Jun 28, 2025•49 min•Ep. 31
Writer and storyteller Lynn Ferguson shares a mixed bag of offcuts that include a London love story, a nightmare foxhunt, a ghostly family reunion and a family saga of oil-magnate ducks. CAST: David Monteath, Nigel Pilkington, Gayanne Potter, Christopher Kent, Beth Chalmers Warning: This episode contains strong language Lynn Ferguson is a writer and story coach whose work spans radio, television, theatre, film and live storytelling. She began her career writing for BBC Scotland’s Megamag , and w...
Jun 15, 2025•54 min•Ep. 30
"Swearing consultant", screenwriter and producer Ian Martin shares a combination of film scripts and short stories that include tales of gory ghosts, a mosquito-ridden dystopia, and body-swapping in the Bible. Cast: Beth Chalmers, Keith Wickham, Kenny Blyth, Christopher Kent, Emma Clarke and Nigel Pilkington This episode contains very STRONG LANGUAGE Ian Martin is a BAFTA- and EMMY-winning comedy writer best known for his scathing political satire on The Thick of It, where he served as the show’...
May 31, 2025•50 min•Ep. 29
Best-selling thriller writer Lisa (" Then She Was Gone", "The Family Upstairs", "Watching You" ) shares clips that didn't make it into her books, and talks in fascinating detail about her unusually practical and no-nonsense writing technique. Clips performed by : Beth Chalmers, Christopher Kent and Rachel Atkins. Lisa Jewell is the Number 1 New York Times bestselling author of nineteen novels (shortly to be 20), including The Girls and The House We Grew Up In , as well as Invisible Girl and I Fo...
Dec 08, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 27
"Dublin Trilogy" novelist and former comedian Caimh (CK) McDonnell shares his sitcom set aboard a ferry, a pre-Fleabag Fleabag and a comedy about what happens when multiple timelines meet. Offcuts performed by: Jake Yapp, Darrell Maclaine, Kenny Blyth, Lizzie Roper, David Monteith and Rachel Atkins. This episode contains strong language. Caimh McDonnell is the internationally bestselling author of the Dublin Trilogy which is set in his hometown. His debut novel ' A Man with One of Those Faces ' ...
Nov 24, 2021•50 min•Ep. 26
A rap musical set in a US prison based on a Noel Coward play, a sitcom about IVF and a story about JFK faking moon landings - just 3 of the offcuts from comedy writer and US showrunner Georgia. Clips performed by: Desiree Burch, Beth Chalmers, Keith Wickham, Lizzie Roper and Jake Yapp. With additional music by Jake Yapp. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Georgia is a multi-award-winning comedy and drama writer, who has five Emmys, five Writers Guild awards, a Golden Globe, a BAFTA ...
Nov 10, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 25
Raconteuse Miranda shares the bits of writing that didn't quite make it, along with tales of her former life as a sex worker, in a show that's definitely NSFW. Clips performed by Chris Pavlo, Bhavnisha Parmar and Emma Clarke. Warning: This episode contains strong language and explicit material. Miranda Kane is a comedian, writer, and performer who garners inspiration from her previous career as a sex-worker and her more recent work in organising body positive events. She writes and stars in the ...
Oct 27, 2021•53 min•Ep. 24
This is not a normal episode of The Offcuts Drawer but a taster of the excellent podcast In Writing With Hattie Crisell . Journalist Hattie visits the studies of writers of all kinds – novelists, screenwriters, poets, journalists and more – to find out how they write, why they write, and what they can teach us about doing it better and the special guest in this episode is Graham Norton. The Offcuts Drawer will be back with a brand new episode later this week but in the meantime you can find more...
Oct 24, 2021•54 min
An investigation into the Mole-man of Hackney, standup material about pond-dipping and a bit of angst-filled teenage poetry are just some of the offcuts shared by Isy. Clips performed by: Lynsey Murrell, Beth Chalmers, Darrell Maclaine, Shash Hira, Toby Longworth and Emma Clarke Isy Suttie is a comedian, actress and writer who started performing stand up in 2002. She trained as an actress and has written for the GUARDIAN, the OBSERVER, RED and GLAMOUR, and is a regular writer and performer on BB...
Oct 13, 2021•56 min•Ep. 23
Scotland's "Queen of Crime" shares some stonking bits of early writing, including her attempt at a bonkbuster and the short story that prefigured her move into thrillers. Clips performed by: Christopher Kent, Beth Chalmers, Leah Marks, Kenny Blyth, Emma Clarke and Rachel Atkins. Val McDermid has sold over 17 million books to date across the globe and is translated into over 40 languages. She is perhaps best-known for her Wire in the Blood series, featuring clinical psychologist Dr Tony Hill and ...
Apr 19, 2021•52 min•Season 1Ep. 22
The "Horrid Henry" creator gives us an out-take from her successful opera, unpublished articles and some other children's book ideas that despite her stellar international reputation still didn't get picked up. Clips performed by: Beth Chalmers, Emma Clarke, Leah Marks, David Holt, Rachel Atkins and Keith Wickham. Francesca Simon is universally known for the staggeringly popular Horrid Henry series. These books and CDs have sold over 22 million copies and are published in 29 countries. Horrid He...
Apr 05, 2021•50 min•Season 1Ep. 21
"Friday Night Dinner" writer Popper shares some truly bizarre offcuts including the fake CV that landed him his big break in comedy, a prank community woodland notice and a sitcom about a wasp. Clips performed by: David Holt, Alex Lowe, Toby Longworth and Lizzie Roper. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Robert Popper is an award-winning writer, producer, performer, and bestselling author. He is the writer and producer of all 6 series of Channel 4’s Friday Night Dinner, he co-created...
Mar 22, 2021•57 min•Season 1Ep. 20
A grab-bag of television and film scripts that didn't quite make it including a drama about GI brides and a psychological mystery set in the Scottish Highlands from screenwriter Andrea. Clips performed by: Kate O’Sulivan, Kenny Blyth, Lizzie Roper, Shash Hira, Emma Clarke, David Monteath, Rachel Atkins and Beth Chalmers. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Andrea Gibb is an award winning Scottish screenwriter who has worked extensively in both film and television. Her feature length ...
Mar 08, 2021•49 min•Season 1Ep. 19
The West End theatre version of TV's "The Good Life", the "Toys" musical that came *before* the film... Jeremy's selection of near misses covers both stage and screen. Clips performed by: Alex Lowe, Lizzie Roper, David Holt, Beth Chalmers, Toby Longworth and Emma Clarke. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Jeremy Sams has written and created countless successful theatre shows including Amour (Broadway), Ghetto (National Theatre and Broadway), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (West End and Bro...
Feb 22, 2021•46 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Creator of "Guilt" and "Eric, Ernie & Me" Neil showcases some other shows that didn't quite make it and shares what it's really like writing for American TV. Clips performed by: Lynsey Murrell, Beth Chalmers, David Monteath, Kate O'Sullivan, Nigel Pilkington and Kenny Blyth. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Neil Forsyth is an author and television writer. In television he is a Royal Television Society Award winner, and has been nominated for a BAFTA, a Writer’s Guild Award, an...
Feb 08, 2021•47 min•Season 1Ep. 17
A sweary Karen Carpenter tribute act, women's rugby and the first black female astronaut - actress/comedian Jackie reveals an interesting range of subjects in her offcuts. Clips performed by: Lynsey Murrell, Beth Chalmers and Lizzie Roper. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Veteran of the British theatre Jackie Clune started out as a drama lecturer before achieving critical success in her first one-woman show about Karen Carpenter at the Edinburgh Festival. She went on to write six ...
Jan 25, 2021•41 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Comedy, horror, Scottish football and a dog pooing in a bedsit are all to be found in the never-before-heard clips from best-selling thriller writer Chris. Clips performed by: Christopher Kent, David Holt, David Monteath and Emma Clarke. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Chris was born in Glasgow and worked as a sub-editor at Screen International, the Scotsman and the Edinburgh Evening News before his first novel, Quite Ugly One Morning, won the First Blood Award in 1996 for the be...
Jan 11, 2021•48 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Michael Gove humiliating himself at university, a KGB-supplied sex manual and tales of derring-do in warzones around the world from foreign correspondent Luke. Clips performed by: Christopher Kent, Lynsey Murrell and Nigel Pilkington. Luke Harding is an award-winning British foreign correspondent with the Guardian. He has reported from Delhi, Berlin and Moscow and has also covered wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, Libya and Syria. Between 2007 and 2011 he was the Guardian's Moscow bureau chief; the ...
Dec 28, 2020•46 min•Season 1Ep. 14
Presenter and columnist Jay knows about food. But he's an acclaimed novelist, journalist and musician too. Hear his unusual play with music, the novel that never was and his celebration of Welsh drag act Lady Ding. Clips performed by: Keith Wickham, Toby Longworth, Christopher Kent and Rachel Atkins. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Jay Rayner is probably best known as being the regular food critic for the Guardian and Observer newspapers for the last 20 years. But he has also wri...
Aug 27, 2020•49 min•Season 1Ep. 13
A film script written with the young Hugh Grant (yes, that one), a TV show about The Sex Pistols and a romcom based on his real-life relationship - just 3 of the top notch offcuts from the writer/producer of the multi award-winning TV drama Unforgotten. Clips performed by: Toby Longworth, Lizzie Roper, Christopher Kent, Leah Marks, Nigel Pilkington, Emma Clarke and Rachel Atkins. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Chris Lang has created over 100 hours of original prime-time televisi...
Aug 20, 2020•47 min•Season 1Ep. 12
Yes she's a writer of *breathes in* TV comedy series's (her own and other people's), drama, animation, children's books, memoirs, novels, programme guides and plays but she's also won Masterchef and Mastermind. And she has some very useful advice to writers starting out. Clips performed by: Keith Wickham, Leah Marks, Emma Clarke, Beth Chalmers and Toby Longworth. Emma Kennedy wears many hats. Having trained in and practised law (a hat she then discarded) she has gone on to be an actor, novelist,...
Aug 13, 2020•46 min•Season 1Ep. 11
"Barry from Watford" and paranormalist "Clinton Baptiste" are just 2 of Alex's alter egos that you've likely met. But did you know he's written material for just about every comedy performer in the UK? Hear his story, and the worst impressions of Barack Obama and Tom Cruise ever. Clips performed by: Chris Pavlo, Christopher Kent, Emma Clarke, Lizzie Roper and Beth Chalmers. Alex first worked as an actor as a teenager when he co-starred with Kenneth Branagh in the West End theatre production of A...
Aug 11, 2020•50 min•Season 1Ep. 10
From standup to multi best-selling crime novelist and screenwriter, Mark's own story includes hair-raising real-life encounters with gangsters and even serial killers. Among the TV show ideas and unpublished articles there's some standup material and even a song lyric which has yet to be performed by his band of fellow novelists The Fun Lovin Crime Writers. Clips performed by: Keith Wickham, Chris Pavlo, Emma Clarke and Christopher Kent. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Mark Billi...
Jul 30, 2020•49 min•Season 1Ep. 9
As one half of the renowned Sitcom Geeks, Dave knows more than a little about what it takes to be a successful comedy writer. From his early association with Rik Mayall and co, through award-winning sitcoms and sketch shows, right through to his latest novel, Dave's offcuts cover the various trends of comedy from the past 40 years. Clips performed by: Chris Pavlo, Emma Clarke, Keith Wickham and Rachel Atkins. Dave Cohen was a stand-up comedian and founder member of the Comedy Store Players with ...
Jul 23, 2020•47 min•Season 1Ep. 8
Comedy writer/performer Katherine - "the new Victoria Wood" and star of the Horrible Histories movie, shares never-before-heard bits of her writing for TV and radio. Clips performed by: Beth Chalmers, Emma Clarke, Rachel Atkins, Leah Marks and Toby Longworth. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Katherine Jakeways is a British comedian, actor and writer, whose writing was described by the Radio Times as "acutely observed" and they suggested she may be "the new Victoria Wood". Katherin...
Jul 16, 2020•48 min•Season 1Ep. 7
A lesser known fact about erudite standup comedian Simon is that he used to write for porn magazines. But there's also scientist comedy in the mix plus a little bit of politics and the truth about whether he really is a Brexit comedian. Clips performed by: Nigel Pilkington, Toby Longworth, Beth Chalmers and Keith Wickham. Warning: This episode contains strong language. Simon Evans is an established UK comedian with his own BBC Radio 4 series Simon Evans Goes to Market , and numerous TV appearanc...
Jul 09, 2020•50 min•Season 1Ep. 6
A world without sex, a rubbish support group, the invisible woman making breakfast in her underwear - just 3 of the scenarios featured in the unfinished or rejected early work from the BBC comedy supremo Bill Dare. Clips performed by: Toby Longworth, Rachel Atkins, Beth Chalmers, Chris Pavlo, Nigel Pilkington and Keith Wickham. Bill is a renowned BBC radio and TV comedy writer and producer. For TV he created shows such as The Mary Whitehouse Experience, Dead Ringers, The Late Edition With Marcus...
Jul 03, 2020•48 min•Season 1Ep. 5
