¶ Intro / Opening
Music. Music.
¶ Introduction
Hello and welcome to episode 411. I hope that you're doing very well today and if you are those struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that, well you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com. There you can book in for a free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with.
In today's podcast I'm going to be talking about a very important idea and And that is that really, when it comes to OCD, we spend so much time focused on our particular obsessions. But what I'm talking about today is that I don't think obsessions are as important as we first believe. And actually, it's more about the mechanism underneath the OCD that keeps it functioning that is the really important thing that we really need to focus on.
So today I'm going to be talking about that. if you find the podcast helpful it would be great if you could subscribe I would really appreciate it if you could do that also if you could give the podcast a review that would also be amazing so many thanks guys if you have any questions at all about anything I speak about today do please let me know and off we go.
¶ The Deception of Pride
Let's get started today with a quote and this particular one is by Carl Jung through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves but deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still small voice says to us something is out of tune and I think this is a great quote because obviously when we think of of pride which i think really does kind of get caught up with with ocd a lot you know we get frustrated we get annoyed with ourselves about our particular obsessions
we don't like them often many many of the obsessions are obviously very difficult to to accept some of them can be quite horrible and and disturbing in different ways other themes can be more harmless in in their in their subject and content but they can still frustrate and annoy us and you know we can get so caught up in in the themes themselves believing that the themes must mean something that there must be some meaning to it and underneath it and you know whilst
you could argue that point and you could dive down into the deeper meaning of why you're experiencing a particular theme. I often kind of like to ask, well, is that actually helpful, though? So often, I think, with OCD and anxiety, really what we need to be thinking about is, you know, what is the practical thing that I need to do here? What is the thing that's actually going to help me to be able to start living my life in a better way, ideally as soon as possible?
And unfortunately kind of digging down and trying to figure out why you might have a particular obsession is likely to just get you more stuck and this is why generally speaking it's not really advised to to to have talk therapy for for OCD because unfortunately talk therapy it can end up becoming part of the compulsion itself where you know rather than just learning how to accept these these thoughts that are popping up into our consciousness the themes
that we're experiencing we start kind of digging down and trying to figure it all out and unfortunately this just ends up becoming another part of the compulsion and the more that we we talk through it and try to figure it all out we try to have certainty ultimately about what's going on and it's that search for a certainty, which I think is really at the heart of OCD.
So inadvertently kind of like talking about the themes and discussing them and going over them again and again and trying to find meaning in them can end up with you just kind of exacerbating the OCD and the very thing that is causing the problem, looking for that kind of certainty.
¶ Going Deeper Within
Coming back to the quote then, Jung talks about us, you know, wanting to go down deeper almost within ourselves, to not just be on the surface level and to get in touch with that small voice. That still small voice that tells us that something is out of tune. Now, obviously in OCD, we know very well that something is out of tune and it isn't a still small voice.
It's a very loud voice that is you know annoying us and giving us a hard time all the time and you know trying to uh to steal our attention from us but really that's not what i think young is kind of talking about here obviously that voice is related to uh you know to the surface level i think it's um you know when we are really caught up in the obsessions and the themes themselves and we're trying to push them away and we're getting upset with them
and angry with ourselves well that's when the voice is is very loud and i don't think that's what young is talking about here certainly from my perspective i i think it's uh it's helpful to reflect on on this analogy with this and and that is to think of ocd in in these kinds of terms imagine a stormy atlantic ocean on On the surface of the ocean, there may be a huge storm going on. There may be waves and wind and all sorts of things going on.
But if you go deep enough down into the ocean, all the way to the bottom of the ocean, you're going to find calm. You're going to find that there is no storm at the bottom of the ocean, that everything is okay, everything is calm, calm. And this is really what I think it's like to get in touch with that still, small voice. And actually, we all have this within us. We have this ability to kind of remove ourselves from the storm by focusing on kind of mindfulness skills.
¶ Discovering Inner Wisdom
And this is one of the amazing things about mindfulness, is it helps us to get in touch with that still, small voice.
¶ Embracing Uncertainty
It's really an ability that we all have to come down deeper into ourselves and it's not that we're not aware of the storm that might be going on on the surface of course we can recognize that that is there but somehow we've found a way to come deeper into ourselves and to get in touch with our inner wisdom that's still small voice and this is a really really important skill to develop within within OCD and something that I think you know when you do do this it helps you dramatically because
really the reason for why I think you know that the actual themes when it comes to OCD are not that important is because when we do come down deep enough we begin to recognize that But that still small voice is trying to tell us something about the OCD. And it's not the obvious thing. It's not the surface value thing. It's the deeper thing. And that is the issue, the thing that is out of sync within us, is that we are not allowing uncertainty in our lives.
We are trying to control things too much. Really, when we think about compulsions and their relationship with our various themes, you know, we may really dislike the themes. We may be really struggling with them for many, many years. But sadly, the whole time where we've been at that surface level, we've been fighting with a particular theme, thinking that it has meaning or relevance to us and not realizing that actually this isn't about the theme.
This is about us experiencing uncertainty and not wanting to let go of control. And actually, if we were to give up that control, if we were to allow a little bit of uncertainty, then actually, you know, and I'm sure you've experienced this when if you've been practicing, you know, working with a therapist or working with somebody to try to help you with your OCD. I'm sure you've experienced this, where you do let go for a moment or two.
¶ Letting Go of Control
You find a way to stop fighting. Perhaps you do some exposure work, or perhaps you're learning acceptance commitment therapy, and you postpone doing anything about the OCD. You don't perform the compulsion. You try to allow yourself to feel your own discomfort.
And when we do do that, when we start to allow the uncertainty, when we stop trying to control everything, thing well it doesn't matter what theme you may be struggling with it seems that this approach helps with all of those themes because really you know as we've just been talking about when it comes down to it when we go down deep enough within ourselves we realize that this is about control and uncertainty and when we just give
up that control and say okay i'm just gonna let go of it just a little bit. I'm just going to try to do things a bit differently with the obsessions for the next few days. I'm going to try to have a different perspective, a different take on it. You know, things do start to ease up a little bit. And the more that you practice this, I think over time, you can really see a lot of benefits.
Of course, this is a kind of new way of of looking at OCD you may as I was talking about just a minute ago you may have spent years.
Stuck on a particular theme thinking this particular theme is the worst OCD theme there is you know and I've been there myself with that kind of thing you know only to to have a new theme come along and completely replace the old theme and suddenly I think this new theme is the the worst one ever and that is actually the the reality of it that that you know the themes they they are not actually as important as as you may think they are actually to do with this
this habitual response that we have to uncomfortable emotions then really it comes back to uncertainty and if you're able to find a way to allow a bit more uncertainty into your life you may be surprised surprised at what you can actually start to to achieve so there we go guys i really hope that you enjoyed that one if you have any questions at all about anything i've. Spoken about today do you please let me know and many thanks. Music.