When OCD Makes Being 'Fun' Feel Impossible

Music. Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music.

Hello and welcome to episode 456 i hope that you're doing very well today wherever you are and if you are struggling with ocd or anxiety and you would like to get some support for that well you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book in directly for a free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with.

In today's podcast I'm going to be talking about the pressures that many people with OCD and anxiety can feel to you know to be fun, to socialize and to be funny and to you know to appear like you're enjoying yourself when you're actually really struggling on the inside with OCD and anxiety. I think this is quite a common thing for many people and you know if you do experience this then today's episode is is for you.

So many thanks and if you would like to follow along you can head over to Instagram and follow and like there. My Instagram handle is at robertjamescoachinguk.

You can also check out the podcast on YouTube by searching for robertjamescoaching on YouTube or you can follow the link in the show notes so many thanks and off we go. Here's a quote to get us started and it's by simon sinek authenticity is more than speaking. Authenticity is also about doing. Every decision we make says something about who we are.

And I think authenticity is an important word when it comes to today's podcast, which is really all about the pressure that so many people feel, you know, to perform.

To act in a certain way, to appear like you're having fun, that you're in the moment, that you're a funny person and that you know you're fun to be around obviously if you struggle with OCD and anxiety you know that can be something that can be quite difficult at times particularly when you find yourself in in the throes of OCD when it gets very bad we know what it's like it's incredibly difficult you know to kind of feel like you're fully in the moment to feel

you know to kind of let go of things and to to kind of connect in a way that you would like with the people around you OCD is very very good at kind of stealing the moment from us making us you know get stuck in our heads with our ruminations and with our thoughts so much so that at times you know it can feel that we're doing anything but having fun you know maybe on the on the outside it seems that we're okay because I think many people with OCD are actually

very good at kind of putting on a performance of acting as if everything's okay and you know trying to make sure that other people you know think that you're you're.

You're kind of you know you're feeling happy or that you're you know you're doing okay but whereas the reality is on the inside you know you're probably uh struggling at times now how this problem actually shows up is you know very personal and it will depend upon how severe your your ocd may be maybe for some people you You're able to really enjoy yourself sometimes and the OCD will take a bit more of a backseat and maybe social situations actually enable you to have an

opportunity where you're able to let go of it for a while. But maybe, you know, there's other times where it's a bit more difficult or perhaps OCD is so present for you all the time. It's so severe, you know, that any social situation is difficult because on the inside, you're really struggling, you know, to be present.

Certainly for me, when I was really struggling with OCD in my 20s and at university, social situations at times were incredibly difficult to navigate because, you know, the anxiety was so high.

And the urge to perform compulsions was so persistent you know it was going on all the time you know it didn't matter where I was you know somewhere in my head these kind of cycles of thoughts would be going on you know I had this ability to that I developed over time to be able to pay attention to what was going on around me whilst also really paying attention to where I was and figuring out or thinking about a particular obsession that I was really struggling with.

And, you know, doing that, actually keeping that up over a long period of time is exhausting. It takes up an enormous amount of energy to put on that kind of performance where, you know, where you're pretending to be enjoying yourself.

You know, whilst also, you know, trying to actually deal with the obsessions and the compulsions, you know as they come up and you know it takes it takes a lot of energy to do that and it can can really lead to you feeling exhausted and as you do start to get tired from the performance of you know kind of trying to pretend like you're you're happy and having fun when you're really not and unfortunately as you get hired that performance can be very difficult

to keep up and sometimes the veil might actually come down and you know you may find it very difficult and people may start to notice that you know well what's up with him today he seems you know doesn't seem himself he seems on edge or he's not really in the present moment you know and that can be frustrating as well because maybe you feel that people are beginning to notice the OCD and maybe that might be influencing your social life in different ways or your relationship and there's

all of these different frustrations that can creep in I think with OCD and this kind of pressure you know to have fun and to to be funny so what can we do about it well i think it really comes back to the quote at the start about authenticity what we have to recognize is that you know we don't need to to put on this performance all the time whilst of course you know we you know we do want to try to be in the present and you know you do want

to try to laugh at jokes and try to to have a good time.

You don't, you know, have to act like you're somebody that you're not. You don't have to put on a performance for people. The important thing is that you try to be yourself and if you're not feeling 100% sometimes, I think it's really about bringing self-compassion to that, recognizing that actually it's okay to not always be on, it's okay to not always be funny, that sometimes your jokes won't land or you won't feel like laughing at a joke or you won't be in the present.

Like perhaps some of your friends are at a given party or a given social situation.

And all of these things are actually okay you know when we come at life from a place of authenticity when we recognize that actually you know maybe we're somebody who does struggle sometimes with emotions we're we're people who might struggle with overthinking over analyzing things and at times that means in in social situations you know we might find it a little bit more difficult to to enjoy ourselves as i pointed out earlier though that's not always the case for everybody with

ocd oftentimes those those situations can be an outlet can be an opportunity you know to kind of just come back into the present moment to.

Let go of all that thinking for a while you know so it really does depend on your given situation your circumstances but i think the way out of it is this authenticity to recognize that you know if you are having a difficult moment well try to be patient with yourself try to recognize that the difficult moment will pass you know and you know you don't always have to be on you don't always have to be having a good time and if some people don't like that in in your in

your life well so be it you can't you can't change that you know if they really don't like that about you well so be it i mean it doesn't really matter and i think when we focus on this kind of mindset you know this kind of self-acceptance self-compassion approach this is how we can deal with a lot of issues you know moving forward with with ocd.

So many thanks, guys. I really hope that you found that helpful. Also, if you would like to check out my meditations, you can head over to my YouTube channel. I'm now posting weekly meditations there specifically for OCD and anxiety. There's a link in the show notes or you can head over to YouTube and search for Robert James Coaching. So many thanks. And if you have any questions at all about anything I've spoken about today, do please let me know.

And of course, a very happy new year to all of you.

Just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram page facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be

a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.