When OCD and Anxiety Feel Unreal: Tips for Managing Derealization

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music.

Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music.

Hello and welcome to episode 443. I hope that wherever you are today you're doing very well and if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that Well, you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com There you can book in for that free session or if you prefer, you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with.

Today we're exploring a feeling that many people experience but struggle to explain and that is derealization. If you've ever had moments where the world feels unreal, almost like you're moving through a dream more, where your surroundings seem strange and unfamiliar. You're not alone. It's a disorientating experience that can leave us feeling adrift.

In this episode, I'm going to share why derealization occurs, especially with OCD and anxiety, and give you three actionable tips to find your footing when everything feels surreal.

So let's dive in. But before we do, I want to let you know that if you're enjoying this podcast i have even more content waiting for you over on youtube on my channel the ocd and anxiety podcast by robert james coaching i share additional tips quick daily insights and in-depth videos covering topics just like this one so if you're looking for more resources to help you manage ocd and anxiety you can head over to the youtube channel subscribe join the community there there's a link in the show

notes and yeah off we go i really hope that you enjoy.

If you have any questions about anything I speak about today, do please let me know. And off we go. I want to start today's episode with a quote by Dan Millman that really captures a crucial mindset shift when dealing with derealization, especially for those of us who struggle with OCD and anxiety. He claims that you don't have to control your thoughts. You actually just have to stop letting them control you.

Now, this idea is powerful because derealization often feels like our thoughts and perceptions are running the show. They're running our lives, taking us further and further from reality. When we understand that actually derealization is a response to anxiety, we can start to see it not as a sense of a loss of control, but as a reaction to the intense stress our minds are trying to process with OCD.

Rather than wrestling with these thoughts or sensations, We can take a step back and recognize them as a temporary experience. And this shift in perspective is key. When I was in my 20s and at university, I really struggled with this sense of derealization. I remember kind of going to lectures and feeling so anxious that I really felt like I was almost observing myself as a kind of third person. It was incredibly unsettling at times. I felt so anxious when I was having conversations with people.

I'd be looking at them and trying to pay attention, trying to listen. But at the same time, I'd be very aware of the fact that it felt like I wasn't really there, like I was almost in a kind of dream. And it was incredibly difficult to deal with at times. The anxiety would be incredibly high. And of course, because I had OCD, it was already high to start with.

So with derealization, it's like kind of piling sand on top of more sand on top of more until you kind of feel like you can't move properly anymore. And this is one of the frustrating things with OCD is it's very good at coming up with ways at getting us feeling like we're stuck, almost like we're weighted down by piles of sand and we can't move forward in our life, but actually we can.

And this is what this episode is all about. It's about trying to help you to realize that derealization is actually just a part of OCD that we can learn to manage like any other part of OCD.

Derealization is a form of disassociation where the world around you feels almost unreal or strange, almost as if you're in a dream. People often describe it as feeling like there's a glass wall between themselves and reality. And while it can be frightening, it's actually the mind's way of coping with intense stress or anxiety. In a way, it's a kind of protective mechanism that your brain temporarily disconnects to to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

And let's be honest, when we're struggling with OCD and anxiety, that can often be the case. OCD is something that is very hard to deal with. Oftentimes, you can feel very, very high anxiety. And when you're doing that, your mind kind of wants to disassociate. It doesn't necessarily want to feel all of that anxiety.

So as a way for you to kind of feel better in the short term, the mind might actually just create some kind of disassociation to make you feel that you're not quite there or like you're kind of in a dream. And that can kind of temporarily lower that anxiety. But of course, it feels very uncomfortable in the meantime. That being said, it is not something that is harmful. And this is the really important thing about it.

When we're able to realize that actually, despite the fact that we might be having all of these strange sensations, we might be feeling very, very uncomfortable. The reality is that nothing is really going on. This is just a trick of the OCD, a trick of anxiety, trying to get you to believe that something is really, really wrong. When in reality, it's just that you're experiencing some difficult sensations.

If you can bring acceptance to them and come back into the present moment, you will most probably be okay. So what can we do about derealization? You are most probably asking yourself. And there are things that we can do about it. And actually, in my own experience, the things that helped me were really learning how to be a bit more accepting and to actually try to be a bit more in the present when I was experiencing depersonalization.

One tactic for this is to ground yourself with physical sensations one of the most effective ways to combat derealization is through grounding techniques that focus on physical sensations so try the five four three two one technique see if you can identify five things that you can see four things that you can touch three things that you can hear two things that you can smell and one thing that you can taste. And what this does is it actually helps you to come back into the present moment.

When we're struggling with derealization, we are not in the present. We are paying attention to those uncomfortable feelings and sensations. If we can use our senses to actually really pay attention to what's going on around us, to feel other sensations, to touch things, to focus on what we can hear, it can actually really anchor us into the present moment. Another strategy that I love is actually using deep breathing exercises to help to calm the nervous system.

And breathing is something that I've really dived in deeply into through my exploration, the Wim Hof method, mindfulness and meditation. And it's something that I find to be incredibly helpful when it comes to OCD and anxiety. But this simple technique in particular can be really great when you're really wanting to have something to just calm you down in the short term. And what it involves is just spending five minutes doing very slow deep breaths.

And to do these breaths, what we do is we make sure that we're breathing in through the nose and we're breathing as low as possible down into the belly, up into the chest, and we're slowing the breath right down. So we're breathing in for about five or six seconds. However, you don't need to count. Sometimes when we count, when we do these exercises, it can make you feel more rigid, more anxious almost. So no need for counting here. We just breathe in for five or six seconds.

Breathing as low as possible into the belly, up into the chest.

And then we breathe out for slightly longer on the exhale breathing out for about seven seconds and we're breathing out through the mouth and we're just breathing out almost like a whistle but very very slowly so we're breathing in through the nose and then a nice long slow exhale through the mouth and if you do that for about five minutes it can really help to regulate the nervous system and calm you down Perhaps the thoughts will still be there.

It's not going to get rid of the thoughts altogether, but it may really help you to just, you know, to feel 5% better, 10% better, to feel a bit more enabled or a bit more empowered, you know, to let go of an obsessive train of thought.

And so it can be very helpful with that. If you don't have five minutes, even just doing three of those deep breaths or 10 of those deep breaths can be very beneficial as well. And tip three is to realize that knowledge is power. Now that you know that derealization is actually a harmless thing and it's just part of the process of your body dealing with intense anxiety, try to reassure yourself that this is just my mind's way of coping with stress.

It will pass. And by accepting rather than fighting with it, you actually reduce the power that it has over you, which can make the experience a little bit easier to deal with. And this isn't about negative reassurance seeking. This is just, you know, pointing out to yourself the reality of the situation.

You're not artificially trying to get rid of the discomfort of the derealization, but you're just admitting to yourself, pointing out that actually it's okay to feel that, that you can bring acceptance to it and compassion. And when you do so, it's much more likely to move on. You know, derealization is something that can be incredibly difficult. But as we've been speaking about today, it's something that you can manage, like all aspects of OCD and anxiety.

So if you found today's episode helpful, please do consider leaving a review or sharing it with somebody who might benefit from it.

Your support really makes a huge difference in helping others find the podcast and get the tools that they need and thanks again for for tuning in if you have any questions at all do please let me know and i will see you next time, just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session and now

just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram page facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.