Taking Back Control from OCD: Reclaiming Your Power

Music. Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears.

Hello and welcome to episode 485 i hope that you're doing very well today no matter where you are and if you are struggling with ocd or anxiety you can get a free discovery call with me to get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there's a link in the show notes what to do when OCD makes you feel completely powerless like no matter how hard you try it keeps dragging you back into the same old loop the

same doubts the same compulsions in this episode I'm talking about something that doesn't get enough attention and that is how to shift out of that powerless mindset and to start building real control not by fighting the thoughts but by changing how you respond to them. I really hope that you enjoy and find it helpful and if you do please do consider leaving the podcast a review that really does help and if you could subscribe that would also be amazing.

So many thanks and off we go. When I was still really struggling with OCD one of the worst things about it was the sense of powerlessness that would always be there. I kind of felt that I was almost a kind of slave to the thoughts. When things kind of popped up into my consciousness, I kind of felt like I had to perform the compulsions. I had to have certainty. I had to kind of figure them out. And this is a horrible place to be.

I think it's one of the worst emotions that a human can feel is that sense that you don't have control over things that you know that when you feel that sense of powerlessness you know you feel that you can't enact change in your life you can't find a positive way whatever through whatever problems that you you might be struggling with and you know that's incredibly demoralizing but actually it's so important to realize that we really can get get back in touch with our personal power.

OCD has kind of played a trick on us. It's tried to persuade us that we don't have that power anymore, that because we've experienced OCD and we've kind of maybe been doing these compulsions for quite some time, well, now we've trained our brain to be like this and we can't go back to how we were before. It's true that perhaps we can't exactly go back to how we were before. Probably you don't want to because we're all growing and evolving. But actually, we really can learn to overcome OCD.

And we really can learn how to kind of teach ourselves to be empowered again, to kind of take back that control from the OCD. And so we have to kind of prove to it that actually, you know, we're the boss. The OCD, you know, it feels like it's kind of taken the reins from us, but it hasn't. It's just a trickster. It loves to play these tricks on us and to try to persuade us that we've lost control. But the reality is something quite different.

And I think one of the things about OCD is because perhaps we have lost that sense of control, that we do feel a bit powerless when the obsessions come up. You know, something about that is that when we perform compulsions, it actually gives us this kind of false sense of control. You know temporarily when you perform a compulsion you do actually get something from that otherwise we wouldn't do it you know it tends to lower the anxiety a little bit it tends to make you.

Feel a little bit better in in the short term you know we we kind of find ourselves in the OCD cycle when we are stuck in the OCD and we tend to spin in that cycle we tend to go round and round with it but actually when we learn you know that we don't have to do that that we can make an intervention that we can allow the anxiety.

To be there you know that's when we can start getting our power back but unfortunately you know we tend to not do that because we're so used to this kind of false sense of control where you know we are performing those compulsions momentarily it is making us feel a bit better and so we keep coming back to it we keep doing the same things over and over even though we keep getting the same results and you know there's a reason for why we do that on an emotional level it does

make us feel a bit better and a bit better even though kind of intellectually we understand that it's not helping us at all on that more important kind of emotional level we can't quite let go of it or we if you're really stuck with it you aren't quite letting go of it our language is so important you know it's really really important that you don't tell yourself that you can't do something it's just that maybe you can't do it now it doesn't mean

that you you can't do it in the future you know and so when we've kind of tricked ourselves or taught ourselves you know that we we can't let go of compulsions because they're the thing that kind of makes us feel better well you know we we've created this this kind of false sense of control and we really cling to it. Learning to let go of OCD is really about interrupting that.

Recognizing that although, you know, temporarily feeling a bit better is nice in the short term, that it's never a kind of long term solution. It's always going to kind of keep us stuck. And, you know, I think there's some awareness of this. You know, I think deep down when we're performing the compulsions, we know that, you know, we're not going to feel better by doing this. But, you know, the feelings can be so difficult with OCD.

We can find ourselves in such a hard place that even though we know on some level that this isn't probably going to help in the long term, we keep on doing it anyway. And the way out of this trap, as I was kind of talking about a little bit earlier, is really learning how to feel those difficult emotions.

And, you know, this is why we do kind of exposure for OCD, because when you can allow yourself, you know, to kind of face one of your fears, to allow the discomfort to be there, you know, to not perform compulsions when you're experiencing that fear, you know, ultimately, that's how you can learn to bring more acceptance.

To it, how you can habituate to that fear and then move past it. Over the years, I've supported many people dealing with OCD and anxiety, even those who've already worked with multiple therapists. And here's what one client recently had to say. Rob is wonderfully knowledgeable and empathetic and he also has a deep and lived understanding of OCD and anxiety.

For more than a decade, I've seen multiple therapists with varying therapeutic approaches for OCD and Rob is by far the best person that I've worked with. Within a few short months, Rob has helped me move to the healthiest mental space I've been for a long time. I completely recommend Rob to anyone seeking evidence-based, are empathetic and effective support for OCD and or anxiety. Curious to see how coaching might help you too? Let's connect for a free discovery call.

It's a relaxed 30-minute chat where you can ask questions, tell me what you're dealing with and see if we're a good fit to work together.

You can head over to robertjamescoaching.com. There's a link in the show notes.

Acceptance commitment therapy teaches us something similar you know you know when we learn to kind of let go of an obsession maybe you've been triggered by something perhaps an old thought has popped up out of nowhere or if you're if you're struggling with you know checking the oven and you're trying to kind of leave leave the house obviously there's that urge to go back to to kind of check it again and again and again but acceptance commitment therapy teaches us to say well actually what do i

really value in this situation you know rather than going back and checking the oven for the fourth or the fifth time which is probably going to make me late for work and my boss will be annoyed with me and you know maybe i won't be there for the important meeting that i really want to be there for you know we kind of ask ourselves a question look can i tolerate the uncertainty of you know of not checking again can i just leave and allow that uncertainty to to be there in the background you know

and and of course if you're able to do this if you're able to say well what's my more important values here do i really value this fear do i really value checking for the fourth or the fifth time or do actually i really value you know kind of turning up for you know at work on time? Making sure that my relationship with my boss is still good? Making sure that my relationship with my co-workers is still good? Of course, we know the answers to those questions.

The problem is, in that moment when we have to make that choice, it's incredibly difficult. But Again, this is, you know, what we have to learn to do little by little. It's not necessarily about throwing yourself into the deep end here. It's about choosing, you know, one or two things that you're going to focus on each day and proving to yourself that you can take action with those one or two things.

You can push yourself a little bit. You can allow a little bit more uncertainty, you know, and you can choose to focus on the present moment and doing a valued activity instead of doing a compulsion and when you do this over time it really does add up you start kind of demonstrating to yourself that you can allow that uncertainty you can allow that anxiety to be there and of course you know that really starts to make you feel better

about yourself you start getting more and more confidence you start realizing that actually you can do much more than the OCD has persuaded you you know the OCD has been telling you for a long time that perhaps you can't do this so you can't do that you can't leave without checking 10 times or you have to do this ritual whatever it might be for you and the reality is that we can all do a lot more than we than we think and it's really about kind of demonstrating to yourself through maybe

doing some exposure activities or applying acceptance and commitment therapy you know little by little you can really demonstrate to yourself that you know.

Actually you do have control and it's not a false sense of control if you're allow if you're willing to allow that anxiety and that uncertainty to be there a little a little bit more that's when you can really get in touch with the real control and you know you start taking control over the OCD and feeling a bit more like the boss in your life so many thanks guys I really hope that you enjoyed that all right remember that I do offer a free discovery call to get that you can head

over to my website robertjamescoaching.com so many thanks and i will see you next time, and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram. Music.