Resilient Minds: Conquering OCD from Within

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music.

Hello and welcome to The OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music. I'll see you next time. Hello and welcome to episode 403. I hope that you're doing marvelously well today.

However, if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety, then you can get a free session with me to get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com and there you can book in for that free session directly or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with in today's podcast i'm going to be talking about something that's really important and that is being able to find the strength from from within to stand up to ocd We know what it's like.

OCD is very good at manipulating us and to, you know, to trying to encourage us to do the compulsions that are keeping us trapped. And it has all sorts of kind of sneaky tricks to do that. And, you know, in order to really change things, we have to find from within us this ability to stand up to it. And, you know, this is something that I believe that we have, but often we do get out of touch with that. So today's episode is all about that.

If you find the podcast helpful, it would be amazing. It would be fantastic if you could subscribe to the podcast and even perhaps give us a review as well. That really, really does help the podcast. So many thanks, guys. I really hope that you enjoy. And if you have any questions, do please let me know. Off we go.

I'm going to start today with an interesting but challenging quote by Alain de Botton and it is this don't despair despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming you don't surrender to events with hope and I think this is a powerful quote that's very apt for OCD because Because, of course, what are we doing so much of the time? Well, we're trying to take control of things. We're trying to have certainty about things.

When actually a lot of the time the things that we worry about or life in general. There is uncertainty, unfortunately, involved with life.

And when we try to deny that, when we try to focus on controlling everything and feeling in a certain way all the time, you know unfortunately that's when things start to go really self when it when it comes to to OCD and then what he talks about here is this idea of surrendering to to the events and you know the way in which I view that is not kind of giving giving up not surrendering to to OCD you know because OCD is a little monster that we want to put back in its place so you know we're not

going to to surrender to that but what he's really saying is that we need to surrender to things that are outside of our control you know for example our emotions our emotions or you know the thoughts that pop up into our into our consciousness those things are not in our control and so you know if we are to to kind of try to fight against those things and to try to always push them away way whenever they come up well it's likely that we're going to keep running into problems

but when we actually focus our attention on allowing the discomfort of those kinds of things to to come up and to to focus on what we can actually control. Which is of course our response to them then you know actually this is a recipe for success when it comes to OCD we're allowing the discomfort of things that we can't control, our difficult emotions. Our thoughts, and we're focusing our attention on the things that we can control.

And the final part of the quote is when he starts talking about living with hope despite the challenge, really. And, you know, again, this is incredibly important because. If we can't be 100% certain about things, we can be very close to being 100% certain. I think sometimes people with OCD, we want to have that 100% certainty. I have to know the truth. I have to know for sure because only then can I get on. Only then can I get the peace that I need.

And it's that that tends to hold us back. And so when we actually begin to say, well, you know what? I can allow a little bit of uncertainty about things. It's okay to have a tiny little bit of uncertainty. You know, when we do that, even if it's only, you know, 0.001% of uncertainty. Or perhaps with some things you're going to allow more uncertainty, depends on what you're talking about.

But when we do allow that little bit of uncertainty, well, what do we do in this situation then if it's really uncomfortable well i think we need to focus on hope and this is where the resolve really comes in obviously today's podcast is all about finding that inner strength from within you to be able to stand up to the challenge that ocd presents to not falter when things get get difficult you know to to not be perfect in doing that as well to recognize

that you're not always going to be able to do that but you know with practice and with determination.

We really can learn how to stand up to OCD in a more consistent basis and really kind of take back control from it and this is what you know I talk about a lot on on this podcast it's really all about that it's recognizing that you know you you do have a lot more strength within you then perhaps you realize and you know it's all about trying to get back in touch with that inner strength that determination because let's face it having OCD is incredibly difficult it's very hard and you know just

the fact that you're you're able to to to kind of get on with your life despite the challenge of of OCD shows that you have enormous strength you have enormous ability within you.

Know and perhaps you're not always recognizing that even if even if you feel that OCD is winning right now well you know you're you're still in there you've still got plenty of opportunities to get in touch with that inner strength and it's my firm belief that we all do have that that ability within us somewhere. But often we just get out of touch with it for all sorts of reasons.

And, you know, a lot of those reasons might be to do with the fact that you're spending hours every day using up all of your energy, just trying to deal with the compulsions and the kind of, you know, the despair that can come up sometimes when it gets so frustrating dealing with this stuff week in, week out.

You know but when that does happen actually you know anxiety and the challenge that comes with it it does also kind of point to something and i think it's pointing at at this it's pointing at the fact that okay yeah maybe this is incredibly difficult maybe anxiety is a big part of your life right now but also it's pointing to the fact that you do have something within.

You to to help you you do have this strength that i'm talking about and when we get in touch with it when we recognize that for example we have this ability to to kind of choose where we put our focus and our attention you know that takes enormous inner strength to be able to to recognize that and then apply that in your life also it's a it's a habit so you know the more that you do it the easier it gets but the first few times that you really kind of stand up to OCD and

you start trying to deal with it in a new and a different way it can be incredibly hard the OCD just kind of wants you to keep doing the same old stuff that that has kept you stuck it doesn't want you to do new things it just wants you to do the same old stuff and so when you challenge that well sometimes times it kicks up even more of a fuss it gives you even more anxiety than before and that doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong it

can often mean quite the opposite that actually you've got in touch with that inner strength and you're you're learning how to apply it to the OCD and you know anytime that you do that anytime that you postpone a compulsion that you.

Sit and you pay attention to what you're feeling without getting involved with with the compulsions or with the ruminations you know anytime that you're able to do an exposure activity or you're able to just allow the OCD to be there and refocus your attention back onto something more helpful all of these things are really about getting back in touch with that inner strength that you have and the more that you do it the more you realize it's there the

more evidence that you you have that you do have this inner strength that maybe sometimes you're getting out of touch with and so It's all about taking action, ideally working with somebody to support you with that.

Getting yourself moving in the right direction by just taking a few small steps each day that really get you kind of leaning into your discomfort and learning how to to deal with that OCD so this is a really important area for me and I think it's something you know that that we can all benefit from and I know it's it can be hard when you're when you're really struggling you know it feels the opposite it feels like OCD has taken all of your strength it's taken all of your power

and there's a good reason for that because when we're going around in circles thinking all the time we're using up an enormous amount of energy you know and once that energy is gone well then you can struggle even more with the OCD and it can you can be this really vicious negative circle that we get stuck in so of course I have real empathy for that having struggled with OCD myself for many years but the important thing is to recognize that you know you do have

more resilience than perhaps you're giving yourself credit for and you know if you're able to get in touch with that resilience in some way you may be surprised what you're able to do so there we go guys i really hope that you enjoyed that one i think this is a really important topic you know trying to find different ways to get in touch with that strength that you have.

In a way, when we think about kind of exposure work, for example, that's really what it's all about, to learn that you can habituate to these difficult emotions, that they don't have to control you and, you know, you start to feel more strong again. And I think when you get in touch with that, you really can do all sorts of things that maybe for a long time you've been telling yourself that you can't.

So yeah many thanks if you have any questions at all do please let me know and I will see you next time just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer Any information that you view on my website, Instagram page, Facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that

you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor, psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.