Navigating OCD: The Velcro Suit Metaphor

Music. Hello and welcome to episode 446. I hope that you're very well wherever you are today and if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support for that, well you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com.

There you can book in for a free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with. In addition you can also check out my YouTube channel where I visually break down these concepts and share actionable strategies and it's a lot more effective than trying to fight OCD one thought at a time. Trust me I've been there myself and it can be incredibly infuriating.

OCD in general can be incredibly infuriating but at least we have a community here where we can support one another and so let's get into today's podcast. Today we're diving into one of my favorite ways of actually explaining OCD and that is through metaphor. Why? Because metaphors take something complicated and make it easier to understand and when it comes to OCD clarity is key to actually moving forward because it can be so confusing and difficult.

So with this in mind I'm going to share a very helpful metaphor for OCD and also give you some actionable tips around this metaphor that can really help you to deal with OCD a bit more effectively so many thanks guys if you have any questions at all about anything I speak about today do please let me know and if you'd like to follow along on Instagram you can my Instagram handle is at robertjamescoachinguk. Many thanks and off we go.

Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space. Orson Scott Card. And I love this quote because metaphors don't just explain. They help us feel and connect with the reality of our struggles. When we can frame OCD in a new way, it becomes a little less overwhelming and we can actually feel a bit more empowered to take action. So let me paint you a picture. Imagine you're wearing a suit made entirely of Velcro. Yes, maybe you would want to have a suit like that. You never know.

And actually, you know, you walk into a storm of feathers. It's quite unfortunate. You know, it might be strange that you're wearing a Velcro suit and then you walk into a storm of feathers. But you never know, it could happen. And at first it feels manageable. Maybe just a feather or two sticks to you. But as you walk further into the storm, more and more feathers start to cling to the Velcro.

And you panic and you try to brush them off. But the harder you brush, the more the feathers seem to stick. It feels like the storm will never end. And no matter what you do, you're covered in more and more feathers. But here's the trick. If you stop brushing the feathers off and stand still, something surprising happens. Over time, the wind starts to carry the feathers away on its own.

The Velcro isn't as sticky as it first seemed and the feathers actually represent here our intrusive thoughts and the Velcro suit is your brain's tendency to attach meaning to them. The harder you fight to get rid of the thoughts, the more they seem to multiply. But when you stop reacting and let them be there, their stickiness begins to fade. I remember a time when my own Velcro suit was actually in full force. I had this recurring thought.

What if I've said something really bad to my friends and I can't remember it? It was like one of those feathers that just wouldn't let go. I'd spend hours ruminating on this each day, going over every conversation I'd had with people, checking every action, trying to figure it all out. But of course, the more that I was analyzing over this, the more energy I was giving to the OCD and the more stuck I was getting. And OCD loves this. This is exactly what the OCD wants us to do.

It knows that if we keep on trying to figure it out, we try to have certainty that we're basically just kind of getting ourselves tighter and tighter in that trap. And so, you know, if we keep playing this game, and this is really OCD's game, it's not our game. Our game is something completely different. It's a nice game. Maybe it's a game that you enjoy in some way. But the OCD game is not pleasurable at all because it leads to one place.

And that is you, you know, not being able to walk away from trying to figure out a compulsion and feeling completely stuck with it.

You know OCD's game is like that and it's because it has rules that are created by the OCD not for us you know when we choose to walk away that's when we can actually kind of take back control over this situation and begin to feel more empowered in ourselves to recognize that you know we are we are able to walk away no matter what the OCD is kind of telling us for me it wasn't until i i learned to stop trying to to push thoughts away to stop kind of brushing them off like trying to brush off

those those feathers from the velcro suit that things you know started to change when i actually you know.

Learned how to take a step backwards in these situations and to kind of look from more of a kind of bird's eye perspective that i recognized that i didn't actually have to do anything that if i just stayed in that situation and allowed the wind to blow the feathers would begin to kind of move off of their own accord that i didn't actually need to figure anything out and when i began to kind of realize that you know that's when things really began to change because i was realizing that i

did actually have some control over the situation you know that i was more empowered than i was giving myself credit for so let's break down what this metaphor can actually teach us the velcro suit is really like your brain ocd makes us attach meaning to thoughts and a random feather which which is the thoughts actually becomes a crisis because the velcro your brain grabs onto it and won't let go we're trying to figure it

out we're trying to have certainty about it which gets us stuck the feathers are the intrusive thoughts intrusive thoughts are normal everybody actually gets them sometimes it's just that people who don't have ocd don't give so much meaning to those intrusive thoughts but But OCD likes to amplify the thoughts. It makes us feel that we have to kind of figure them out because we feel on some level that if we don't, that we're being irresponsible, that it could be dangerous in some way.

The storm or the wind is actually OCD's impact. When stress is high or the OCD is triggered, it really feels like you're walking straight into a feather storm. The thoughts can seem overwhelming. And actually, this is kind of like our sympathetic nervous system or the fight or flight system being activated. When we're in that kind of state, you know, our thoughts are more catastrophic.

Everything feels a bit more difficult to deal with. and actually this is quite a normal thing and then standing still is acceptance the more you try to brush the thoughts away through compulsions or ruminations the more you actually reinforce their importance but if you stop or do your best to stop and let the wind your brain's natural process do its work the thoughts eventually begin to lose their grip so here are some tips inspired by our amazing velcro suit metaphor to to help you

navigate OCD and the first one is this let the wind do the work instead of focusing on getting rid of the thoughts imagine standing still and letting the wind your mind's natural process gradually carry them away practice noticing the thoughts you can even label them if you want but make sure that you're not actually reacting to them or trying to push them away. And when we do this, well, they begin to move on of their own accord. The next tip is to soften the Velcro.

Picture your Velcro suit becoming less sticky over time. It's not all covered in honey, that Velcro suit, although it can feel like that at times. Now, you can do this by trying to reframe your thoughts. Perhaps you can tell yourself, this is just my brain doing its thing it's trying to get me stuck it doesn't mean that i have to engage and each time you resist the urge to fight a,

You're loosening the grip of your Velcro. You're loosening the grip of the OCD and you're going to be better able to walk away or to be in the present moment. And when you do that, of course, OCD is going to lose some of its power over you. And number three, walk towards the storm, not away. Now, counterintuitively, running from the storm often makes it worse.

Practice stepping into situations that trigger OCD without trying to fix the feathers that appear really what you're doing here is kind of exposure you know trying to find one or two activities each day that are perhaps a little bit difficult for you they don't need to be the biggest things actually I advise you to take it easy with.

This you know choose one or two things that are perhaps a little bit difficult for you and try to do those things try to lean into the discomfort of doing those things despite the fact that it might be a little bit triggering and over time that really starts to develop your your ability to kind of face your obsessions and your fears and learn.

How to habituate to them so the next time OCD has you feeling like you're walking through a feather storm remember you don't have to fight every thought let the wind carry the feathers away in its own time and if you found this helpful please make sure to subscribe to my youtube channel where i share more metaphors tips and visual strategies to manage ocd and anxiety there's a link for the youtube channel in the show notes or you can search for the ocd and anxiety podcast by robert james

coaching many thanks and if you would like to leave the podcast and review that would also be amazing and i will see you next time just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram page facebook group or anywhere

else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor, psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.