Living by Your Values: Even with OCD and Anxiety

Music. Hello and welcome to episode 348. I hope that you're doing very well today and if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that, well you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com.

There you can book in for a free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with. In today's episode we're focusing on how to live by your values even when OCD and anxiety feels overwhelming. Anxiety can make us feel like we need to wait until we're better to pursue what matters most to us but what if the path to healing is actually found in taking action now?

We'll explore how values can guide you and why they're so important when navigating difficult times. Before we dive in don't forget to check out my youtube channel where i break down these concepts visually with actionable strategies if you're ready to live a meaningful life despite anxiety do please head.

Over there you can follow the link in the show notes or you can search for the ocd and anxiety podcast within the youtube app and it would be amazing if you could subscribe so many thanks guys if you have any questions today about anything i speak about do please let me know and off we go life is never made unbearable by circumstances but only by a lack of meaning and purpose and that.

Quote is by Viktor Frankl it really resonates deeply with anyone I think who's struggling with anxiety it's a powerful quote that really reminds us of the challenges that we face whether they're intrusive thoughts rumination or perhaps the physical the physical symptoms of anxiety itself you know it's important that we recognize that these things don't define us despite the fact that they might be present a lot of the time and you know what gives us

strength and resilience is actually finding meaning despite the fact that we might struggle at times so let's break down this a little bit further what does it actually mean to live your life by your values and how does this help with anxiety and ocd well values are the things that you deeply care about the principles that guide you and guide your your life they aren't goals like getting a promotion or running a marathon instead they're the foundation behind those

goals like growth compassion or health and i think a helpful way to think about this is imagine the points are on a on a compass you can walk in the direction of north but you can never actually arrive at a place called north and this is what it's like to be living your life by by your values perhaps there's.

All sorts of goals that you want to achieve whilst you're walking in the direction of north maybe you want to go to different places and do different things but the important thing is overall that you're going in the right direction and i think this is a helpful way to understand what we mean by values and one of the great things about them is if you are struggling at a particular time in your life your values can help provide you with clarity when you're struggling

with with judgment or what to do or what to focus on if you know what your your values are it can really help you to prioritize your actions and to make sure that what you're doing is actually aligning with the person that you want to be rather than being about avoiding your fears and certainly for me that's something i struggled with for a long time is that you know my world was getting much smaller when i was struggling with ocd all the time that you know i would be focused on just.

Avoiding the uncertainty avoiding the fear and and trying to just feel good in in the moment rather than aligning myself with what I actually wanted to do which might involve you know doing much more difficult things but actually that would create much more meaning for me and help me to feel you know better about myself so let's say your value is connection but anxiety makes you avoid social situations because they feel overwhelming well when you focus on your value of connection you might

actually take small steps to engage socially even if it feels uncomfortable and this helps you to live a life that aligns with your values rather than letting anxiety and OCD dictate your choices.

So let's focus on this idea of anxiety's short-term game versus kind of the values that is actually a kind of a long-term game. Anxiety convinces you to chase immediate relief.

Avoiding discomfort that actually feels very good in a moment but often it pulls you further and further away from what truly matters to you and by you know focusing on that short-term relief unfortunately what we do is we get ourselves stuck in the in the cycle of of OCD and avoidance the more that we we start to avoid our fears the more that we we get caught in that trap the more likely that it is you know that we're going to do that in the future so it's so important that we try to think

about this medium or learned or long-term game which is really about accepting discomfort and attending to the things that are important to you that align with your with your values in this this example we've just been giving for example with connection that might involve going and doing things with your friends or family despite the fact that in the short term you're feeling really uncomfortable because in the long

term by doing that you're starting to develop this greater resistance to discomfort. And over time, that's something that will help you to manage OCD much, much better. By choosing the long-term game, you build confidence and resilience, even if it's hard in the present moment. An important thing to point out here is that anxiety doesn't just vanish because you start living more by your values. It might still show up at times, but it becomes less powerful because your focus

is on something much bigger. An example of this from my own life was actually when I started working as a coach. Initially, I was really anxious about it. I didn't know if I would be able to make a difference to people, if I could really help them. You know, there was all sorts of insecurities that I had about this. And, you know, in a way, I kind of wanted to not do it. And in fact, for a long time, I kind of procrastinated that process.

But in the end, I decided to go for it because, you know, coaching, it relates to my values. I wanted to connect with people. I wanted to help people. I wanted to make a difference. And all of these things are, you know, things that I'm now doing on a daily basis. And it was very difficult at first to overcome that fear and that anxiety and that doubt. I definitely was suffering from a lot of kind of imposter syndrome about it.

But over time, as I started to kind of lean into that discomfort, I started to build more confidence in my ability to work as a coach. You know, I began to see that, yes, I can actually help people and yes, I can make a difference. And, you know, then I started to do the podcasts and then things really grew from there. And now I have a psychology degree and, you know, my life is really turned around.

But that initial decision, you know, to become a coach, you know, I had to overcome some fear there and I had to really lean into my values in order to make that decision. And I'm, you know, I'm so glad that I did.

So here are three actionable tips to help you live your values, even when anxiety is present. The first one is define your core values. You can do this by taking 10 minutes to actually reflect on what truly matters to you. Try to ask yourself questions like these. What do I want my life to stand for? What do I want people to say about me at the end of my life? When do I feel most fulfilled or at peace? Writing these down gives you a roadmap to guide your actions when anxiety feels overwhelming.

And another thing you can do for this is actually to go online and look for a list of values.

Often you can find some 50 different values, for example and the idea would be to to go through and you know tick off any that are important to you and once you've done that go through that list again and try to come up with 10 values that are the most important to you right now try not to be too much of a perfectionist about that it may change over time but the important thing is just to get a rough idea what are the main values that right now are roughly the most important ones to you.

Tip two is to break it down into micro actions. Big changes can feel very daunting. Instead, focus on small steps that you can take today that align with your values. For example, if you value health, you could take a five-minute walk. If you value connection, send a quick text to a friend or call somebody that you care about. And if you value creativity, you could spend 10 minutes on a project.

You know something that i like to do with with this is to have three mini goals that i'm going to try to complete each day and it could be very small things like i just said it doesn't really matter what these mini goals or micro actions are the important thing is that you have a few of these things that are related to your values that you try to complete each day because if you can do that it feels really good you feel great about

yourself and you feel like you're moving in a good direction despite the fact that OCD and anxiety might be there sometimes in the background.

And tip three, create a values versus anxiety journal. Each day, write down one action you took that aligned with your values and one moment where anxiety or OCD tried to steer you away from them.

Over time, this helps you to notice the patterns and build confidence in choosing your values over your fears and this is a great activity the more that we write things down and reflect on them i think it can really help us in in the long run anxiety doesn't have to stop you from living a meaningful life by focusing on your values and taking small consistent actions you can create a fulfilling life even when anxiety is along for the ride if you found this

episode helpful check out my youtube channel there's a link in the show notes or you can search for the ocd and anxiety podcast by robert james coaching on that channel i explore values-based actions and other strategies visually and you know the podcasts are actually a bit different on the youtube channel so if you would like to subscribe there that would be amazing also if you would like to leave this podcast a review that would be amazing too so many thanks guys and i will see you next time.

Just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session. And now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer.

Any information that you view on my website, Instagram page, Facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.