Is This Helping Me - or OCD?

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music.

Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music.

Hello and welcome to episode 445 I hope that you're doing very well today and before we dive in don't forget to check out my YouTube channel where I break down these concepts visually subscribe if you're looking for quick actionable tips to help you feel more in control and trust me your future self will thank you and hey it's much easier than trying to figure out if that intrusive thought is actually real which most of the time nearly always it's not it's just OCD playing its tricks so today's

topic is a big one is this helping me or is it OCD if you've ever found yourself stuck in the middle of a compulsion or endless rumination, then this episode is for you. We'll break down why figuring out if the thought is real or not can actually make things worse. Plus, I'll share some tips to help you break free from this very annoying and frustrating trap.

Also, if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that, well, you can by heading over to my website, robertjamescoaching.com. There you can book yourself in for a free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with.

So let's get into it if you have any questions at all do please let me know and off we go.

Today's quote is by Albert Einstein. We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them and this quote really hits home for anyone struggling with OCD as it reminds us that trying to solve a problem especially in the in the middle of an obsession with the same anxious thinking that created it often leads to more frustration more feelings of being trapped and OCD wants you to figure it out.

By figuring it out you only make yourself more and more stuck and certainly this was the case with me for for many years there were so many situations where you know I would try to remove myself from a given situation altogether to to not want to be there anymore because I wanted to be in my head I wanted to be figuring out a rumination or I wanted to be performing a compulsion so i would literally sometimes physically remove myself from a situation or a place so that i would have that

opportunity to just kind of escape for a while and do my compulsion you know temporarily feel a bit better because you know that's what we get when we perform a compulsion we do temporarily begin to feel a bit better but of course it never lasts it's it's only ever a kind of short-term game that we're playing when we do this and for for me for many years this this was just what I was doing you know I was kind of any time that I would feel really really uncomfortable I would get stuck

in my head and I would try to figure it out until I got to a place where I felt comfortable enough that I I could kind of move on I remember one time actually when I was at a bar with some friends and you know they were all talking with each other having a great time they seem to be really in the moment and there i was completely stuck in my head with with my.

Thoughts and i was putting on this act as if you know i was having a good time i was kind of smiling and nodding at people and you know acting as if everything was great whereas on the inside you know i was actually you know only half paying attention to the conversations i wasn't really finding any of the jokes funny on a real level because of course i was stuck in my head with these horrendous thoughts and these really difficult emotions that I was experiencing.

And I was trying to fix everything. I was trying to get to the bottom of it. And it was just getting me more and more stuck. But, of course, the trick that OCD was using in order to keep me in that trap was to keep me thinking that, you know, maybe I had to think about this. Maybe this thought was real on some level. Maybe it was dangerous on some level or, you know, I had to figure it out and it would be irresponsible of me to not do that.

And, of course, when OCD plays that trick, it's kind of like a joker card. It can be very hard to kind of walk away once you get triggered by something like that.

I mean we can walk away and that's what we're going to be talking about today but it's it's difficult once you get that triggered of course it can be very very hard the emotions can be very strong and we might want to just kind of stay stuck in that loop to keep on trying to figure it out trying to figure it out actually just reinforces the obsession because we're giving more and more power to the OCD when we do that and the reality is if we're able to to kind of let go of that approach we

can begin to kind of loosen up the the reins of control that OCD has kind of you know tried to persuade us that it has over us in reality you know we're the ones in control we're the ones with the power it may not always feel like that but that's the the really important thing to kind of keep in mind and actually asking the question is this real or is this something that I should think about isn't a very helpful question because reality isn't

black and white like that you know there's there's a lot of uncertainty in reality and of course with OCD we really don't like uncertainty in a way we want things to be black and white because that's more more simple it's either like this or it's like that and then I have to do this or I have to do that and the reality is it really isn't that that simple or that straightforward. The question I encourage people to ask instead is, you know, is this actually helping me in this moment?

You know, because OCD, if it's drawing you out the present, if the thinking and the thoughts are making you more and more anxious and you're going around in circles, well, of course, you're not helping yourself in that situation at all. You're just getting stuck in the cycle of OCD. And in the process, you're going round and round.

You're not getting anywhere but you are going to to be feeling more and more anxious and more and more stuck and another important thing to keep in mind is when you are you know performing a compulsion which is effectively what this is no we convince ourselves that we need to ruminate on this but in reality it's actually just a compulsion that we're performing and when we do that well we're just getting ourself you know more and more stuck in that loop unfortunately

the more that you ruminate about it the more you're going to want to ruminate about it and it's a kind of short-term game if you play that short-term game of trying to to just feel better immediately in the short term it's going to lead to problems in the medium and long term if you can try your best to play a bit of a bit more of a median term game where you're allowing that discomfort in the short term well that can really begin to kind of turn the tides on the OCD.

So here are some actionable tips that you can take to help you in this situation and the first tip is actually to ask yourself another question. If I weren't tangled in this thought what would I actually do right now?

And this question bypasses the rumination trap and brings focus back to meaningful action and the present moment so for example if you'd actually plan to work on a creative project but are actually stuck ruminating and procrastinating i've been there myself many times then you know let this question guide you back to it rather than kind of you know just carrying on with with that rumination we need to try to focus our attention onto other things and

you know if you think about what you would actually be doing if if ocd wasn't present and try to do that that can be a really good way of of doing it the next one is called the the thought timer technique see if you can set a timer for one or two minutes and during that time give yourself permission to focus fully on the thought without trying to solve or avoid it and when the timer ends say i've given this thought enough time and then shift your focus onto a kind of valued activity,

something that you really want to be doing. Something that you perhaps enjoy in some way. And actually what this does is it creates a boundary around the rumination while actually allowing space for discomfort without overindulging in it. And then number three, turn the thought into a character. And this can be a really, really powerful one. Imagine your thought as a ridiculous character, like a pushy salesperson or a quirky cartoon villain.

Give it a funny voice or a silly name like Detective Doubt or, I don't know, just call it Dave if you prefer. It doesn't really matter. But the important thing here is to, you know, to stop taking the OCD so seriously.

What we tend to do is to take the OCD at face value we we tend to believe that it really is real that there's something you know very dark going on or very difficult going on within us and you know and of course it's just the OCD trying to trick us into that rumination trap you know there isn't necessarily anything wrong at all but the OCD just wants you to believe that because that's how it gets you kind of stuck in that rumination.

And so when you bring a bit of silliness to that when you try to imagine the OCD as a ridiculous character in some way and make fun of it you know it can be a really really helpful way of learning how to kind of let it go so the next time you find yourself stuck in the middle of a compulsion or rumination remember to pause and ask is this actually helping me it's a simple question but it can completely change the way that you actually approach your intrusive thoughts and

of course there's the other tips there that i've just talked about and if you found this helpful make sure to subscribe to my youtube channel for more tips and visual guides to managing ocd there's a link in the show notes or you can search for the ocd and anxiety podcast by robert james coaching and as always if you're enjoying the podcast please leave a review it really does help a lot so many thanks and i look forward to seeing you next time.

Just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session, And now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer Any information that you view on my website, Instagram page, Facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to

on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor, psychologist or any other medical or mental health advice. Music.