How to Stop Intrusive Thoughts: A 3-Step Process That Starts with Awareness

Music. Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast, where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears.

Hello and welcome to episode 491 i hope that you're doing very well today no matter where you are and if you are struggling with ocd or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that well i offer a free 30-minute discovery call where we can talk about what you're facing and explore how coaching might help. To get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there's a link in the show notes.

Now in today's episode I'm going to walk you through a three-step method for responding to intrusive thoughts. This is something that I use myself when I find myself triggered and it's a really important part of the process for me for managing OCD.

As always if you find the podcast helpful it would be amazing if you could leave us a review it only takes a few moments and it really does help also please do subscribe most people who listen are not actually subscribed to the podcast so that would be amazing as well many thanks and if you have any questions at all please do let me know off we go.

Back when I was still really struggling with OCD, really what I wanted was a kind of simple formula, something that I could use that would help me to break out of the OCD cycle that I so often found myself in. And the three steps that I'm going to be talking about today are really that. I really wish I had them many years ago when I was really struggling.

So what are they? Well, step number one is to acknowledge because, you know, when we find ourselves getting caught up in in that OCD cycle what's really happening is we're beginning to tell tell ourselves a story we're beginning to get caught up in the narrative of the theme of the OCD and we can very easily begin to persuade ourselves that you know whatever the terrible thing that we're thinking about is actually true

and so it's so important that we do something with that that we don't just allow our imagination to run wild. Because if we do, well, we know where that can lead. OCD is very, very good at taking us down these rabbit holes. And unfortunately, once you go down a rabbit hole, it's very hard to kind of find your way back home again. So when we actually acknowledge, what do we do? Well, it's very simple.

You just label, you just say to yourself, there's a trigger, for example or there's a thought we don't need to disprove the thought we don't need to you know argue with the obsession by labeling it we're doing something with it we're kind of saying you know this is a thing we're recognizing it but we're not getting caught up in that game of looking for certainty about it you know so just actually giving it a simple label and then in a minute I'm going to come back to this and tell

you about another step that you can add in here at the acknowledged stage but let's move on to step two which is actually tolerate now obviously people talk a lot about acceptance when it comes to OCD and anxiety and with good reason because we do really want to learn how to accept those difficult emotions in our bodies but actually you know I think the word acceptance can sometimes create a little bit of pressure for people where we're kind of telling ourselves, I just need to accept it.

I'm not trying hard enough because if I was really accepting it. Then I wouldn't be feeling bad anymore. And we start creating pressure with that acceptance where, you know, we're trying so hard to accept it that we're doing anything but. And so, you know, when we say tolerate, I think it's actually a more helpful kind of word here. We're acknowledging that we don't like it.

That actually we need to allow the discomfort to be there that in the short term at least you know that that discomfort that anxiety that shame that guilt whatever it is that you might be experiencing it is going to be there in the short term and if we can allow that if we can tolerate it feel it in the body and and actually just get on well actually that makes a huge difference you know when we're fighting the anxiety that's when we're resisting it

and that's actually when it gets a lot lot worse and then step three is to refocus your attention onto the present moment and ideally a valued activity and this is a really important part of the process when we allow ourselves to refocus our attention onto our values onto our goals we're actually giving ourselves an opportunity to come back into the present moment to actually take a break from all of this ruminating from you know trying to figure out the OCD trying to have that certainty we

choose instead to focus our attention onto a valued activity now this could be all sorts of different things it's really helpful actually if you take some time to figure out well what actually are your values what are your goals?

What is your direction in life? I think sometimes with OCD, we can get so disconnected from ourselves, so disconnected from the person that we want to be in our lives. And all that we're actually focused on is our fears, trying to get rid of the anxiety, trying to make ourselves feel better. But when we do that, our world becomes smaller and smaller. And I'm sure you've experienced that in your own way, in your own lives.

Managing OCD is tough, but progress really is possible with the right support. Here's what one of my clients had to say about our work together. I'm very grateful to Rob for his terrific service. With his support, I have been able to make great progress in managing my OCD. Through the techniques, strategies and knowledge Rob introduces, I feel more balanced and equipped than ever.

It's reassuring for me that I'm working with somebody who uses their personal experience of struggle and hardship at combined with their hard work in pursuit of recovery, passing down the gold on what works and what doesn't.

A reliable, down-to-earth, lovely fellow that will help you foster a healthier attitude towards yourself and your experience with anxiety and OCD. Thanks a heap for what you do, Rob. Looking forward to continuing our work together. Rory. If you're ready to take a step forward, I offer a free 30-minute discovery call. You'll get a chance to share what you're going through and I'll let you know how I might be able to help.

No pressure, just clarity. So you can head over to robertjamescoaching.com to book your spot today.

And so when we focus on our goals and our values, it helps us to really come into the present and to start to look at the bigger picture in our lives because so often, you know, apart from the obsession itself, so many things are actually going at right in our lives.

We're just not really paying attention to them enough and the idea here is to try to refocus in a really active way to put as much energy into that refocusing as possible if you just refocus your attention in a half-hearted way and and still ruminate at the same time it's not going to work as well if and as if you actually really focus your attention and put all of your energy into trying to pay attention to whatever it is that you're doing.

That might be having a conversation with somebody. That might be doing a sport or an activity. It could be cooking your dinner. It could even be washing the dishes. To be honest, it doesn't really matter what it is, but it is important that it's something that you care about and that's something that will allow you to focus your attention, at least for a while, away from the obsession.

So those are the kind of basic three steps. And a final one that you could add in there is repeat, because you might have to repeat that process quite a few times. But this has really helped me, you know, to kind of let go of the obsessions and to come back into the present a bit more and to bring more tolerance to the emotions that we experience. And I think tolerance ultimately, over time, it starts to build into acceptance.

And one other one other thing that you can add in here this is a really important thing actually and i wasn't doing this initially when i first started practicing these three steps but they actually make it more powerful is at the acknowledge stage if you can find a way to actually for 30 seconds or a minute to tune into your to your body to feel the anxiety in your stomach in your chest and to just focus in on it so often we're trying to distract ourselves from the feelings of anxiety in

our body you know we don't want to feel them often for for good reason but you know when we take that kind of perspective that we don't want to allow the anxiety that we don't want to feel it unfortunately that's us resisting it and pushing it away and that tends to make it stronger over time.

So if instead you can practice even for just 30 seconds or a minute at that kind of acknowledge stage, you know, just feeling it in your body, you know, you don't even have to close your eyes or do a meditation or anything like that. With your eyes open, just be aware. Is there tension in your body? Are you holding your shoulders like this, for example? You know, are you slouching a little bit? Can you perhaps change your posture?

Can you perhaps do two or three deep breaths breathing out very slowly and then just get a bit more in touch with your stomach your chest is there tension there what does that feel like try to be curious and interested in what's happening and then after that well you can move on to step two tolerate and step three refocus but the good thing is now you've actually really acknowledged on a body level what you're feeling and I think you know by doing that we

kind of stop resisting those difficult emotions so much and it can make step two and step three a little bit easier to do so I really hope that you you found that helpful please do remember I offer a free discovery call to get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there's a link in the show notes I really hope that you found that helpful please do subscribe and I will see you next time, Thank you. Music.