How OCD Undermines Confidence—and Steps to Reclaim It

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music.

Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music. Confidence might seem simple on the surface but when you're dealing with OCD it becomes incredibly complex. OCD can undermine even the strongest sense of self making you question, second guess and doubt almost everything about who you are.

Today I want to explore how OCD impacts confidence, especially for those of us who have struggled with intrusive thoughts, self-doubt and a tendency to shrink back sometimes from challenges.

I'll also share a bit from my own journey with this and then we'll dive into some practical steps that you can take to start rebuilding your confidence even when OCD is a part of the picture, also as a reminder if you're looking for more support I do offer a free session to get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book him for that free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling

with and hey if you haven't yet checked out the YouTube channel then what are you waiting for? You get the same insights but with my face moving all around the screen what more could you ask for hey so if you would like to give it a give it a look please do head over to robert james coaching on youtube there's a link in the show notes and yeah i really hope that you enjoyed this episode if you have any questions at all about anything i speak about today do please let me know and off we go.

Here's a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson to get us started. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. But for those of us with OCD, that's easier said than done. OCD can make it feel almost impossible to be confident in who we are with constant self-doubt and second-guessing that wears you down and really takes away that self-belief.

So let's take a closer look at why OCD impacts confidence so deeply and what we can actually start to do about it. One of the biggest reasons OCD affects confidence is because it creates a constant loop of self-doubt. With intrusive thoughts and compulsions, you're always questioning whether you're doing the right thing or if you're actually good enough. And this repeated doubt reinforces a narrative that something about you isn't quite right.

Over time this erodes your confidence making it harder for you to trust yourself people with OCD often develop a heightened fear of making mistakes there's this underlying belief that any misstep could actually lead to something catastrophic or negative so it's safer to avoid risks altogether the problem is that confidence is built by trying things and sometimes failing if OCD keeps you from taking those risks it also keeps you from building your confidence another challenge

is that OCD often fuels comparison and perfectionism you might look at people around you and think why can't I be as confident as they are or I'll never be able to do things that easily this perfectionistic mindset actually creates a very high bar that's almost impossible for us to reach and so you're left really feeling quite inadequate by by default. When I was actually in my 20s, I had this expectation, like so many people do, that I should be out there having the time of my life.

But OCD made me feel that that was impossible. I was constantly in my head, second-guessing every decision, every interaction. And instead of enjoying the moment, I was dissecting it, looking for flaws or replaying things in my mind. It was so frustrating and it made me feel like I was really missing out on something that everyone else seemed to have. Later, you know, when I was traveling around Australia, I felt this even more.

I was on the road seeing incredible places and should have felt free and confident. But instead, I was comparing myself to everyone around me. I'd see people surfing and partying and just enjoying life in the moment. And it made me feel like I was kind of falling short in some way. Instead of taking in the experiences, I was really stuck in a loop of intrusive thoughts, constantly questioning myself and feeling like I didn't measure up.

And then when I came back from those travels and started looking at jobs, that lack of confidence was still there. It persisted. And OCD had me doubting whether I was actually capable or deserving.

I'd hesitate sometimes even deciding not to apply for certain jobs that I was genuinely interested in It felt safer to avoid putting myself out there than to face the possibility of being rejected in some way And this held me back in so many different ways reinforcing this feeling of not being good enough A quick heads up, if you're finding these tips useful you might enjoy checking out my YouTube channel, the OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching.

I'm sharing daily quick tips to keep you on track. Plus, I'll be doing weekly deep dives into different OCD themes. And here's the best part. These deep dives are exclusive to YouTube, so it's content you won't find anywhere else. Just search for the OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching and subscribe for regular insights.

The turning point really came when I realized that I didn't need to feel confident before taking action. I started focusing on my values, on the things that I really cared about and began acting in alignment with those values, even if OCD was still present. And this shift allowed me to build more confidence through my actions rather than waiting for some ideal feeling of certainty to kind of magically appear.

So here are some tips that I've found to be very helpful when it comes to kind of building confidence over time. The first one is letting go of perfectionism. Remind yourself that confidence doesn't mean you feel perfect all the time. It's actually about accepting your flaws and moving forward anyway. And you know if you're able to do this then it's a huge shift because it actually allows you to get back into your life to start building things and to see that you can entrust in yourself.

You don't need to do things perfectly you just need to get out there and to start taking steps in the right direction. The next tip is small wins over big leaps.

See if you can start with small actions that actually align with your values when you begin to act despite OCD you're building evidence for yourself that you're capable and this is really important OCD likes to take away that evidence to suggest to us that we can't do things so by you know gently pushing back and actually you know setting small goals achievable things over time these small wins will really stack up creating

a solid foundation of confidence that you can really move forward with in your life. And then tip three is replace comparison with self-acceptance. A big part of OCD is really being overly focused on self-esteem. And I've talked about this in previous podcasts. You know, this obsession that we have in our modern society with self-esteem is really driven by social media. You know, we're constantly comparing ourselves to other people.

And it's not helpful. It's not a good thing to do. Remind yourself that when it comes to life, everybody is on their own kind of unique path. And if you have OCD, that means that perhaps you have a few more challenges than your average person. But that doesn't mean that you need to kind of compare yourself to other people. Instead, see if you can focus on your own growth, you know, the qualities that make you unique.

And see if you can just keep gently pushing yourself. you know try to let go of that comparison i think true confidence comes when we're actually in our lives and we we are taking on challenges you know be that small or bigger is we just have to be out there doing the best that we can and demonstrating to ourselves that despite whatever challenges might be going on with mental health with anxiety with with ocd that we can still be out there in our lives and and take on those challenges

and when we do that I think that's when we really begin to to grow true and and lasting self-confidence and it may not completely get rid of OCD in itself but it can certainly help you to manage it more effectively so thank you for listening remember building confidence isn't about waiting until you're feeling ready it's about taking steps forward even if OCD is there in the background if you want more support don't forget to book a free session.

You can head over to robertjamescoaching.com and if you're not already part of the YouTube community please do head over there for more insights, tips and encouragement. So, many thanks guys and I will see you next time.

Just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session, all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session, and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website Instagram page, Facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be

a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor, psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.