¶ Introduction to Choices and OCD
The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music. Hello and welcome to The OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music.
Hello and welcome to episode 418. I hope that you're doing very well wherever you are today and if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that well you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book in for that free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with today's podcast is really all about choice and OCD we take a look at existentialism and something called
reality therapy and how that relates to to choice which I think is a really important part of learning to deal with OCD. If you like this podcast and you would like to support it, it would be amazing if you could subscribe. Most people who listen are not actually subscribed. So, you know, if you would like to do that, I would really, really appreciate it. So many thanks, guys. I really hope that you enjoy. And if you have any questions, do please let me know. Off we go!
¶ Viktor Frankl’s Insights on Choice
I'm going to start today with a quote that's really been kind of running through my head a lot over the last few days. It's a really, really fantastic quote and this is it. Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response. in our response lies our growth and our freedom and this quote is by victor frankl and i i'm sure i probably probably shared this quote with you before and it's it's such a great one that i wanted to kind of go over it again because really when he's talking here about this idea there being a space between the the stimulus and the response really what he's referring to is he's recognizing and this is true for OCD
that you know when we have a stimulus and that stimulus could be an intrusive thought it could be a very uncomfortable feeling it could be a certain situation that you really don't really don't like or a person you know there is there is then a response and often in OCD that is some kind of reassurance or avoidance behavior where we We, you know, we want to compulsively reduce the anxiety that we're experiencing from that stimulus. But we often forget that there is actually a space there.
And as he points out in this powerful, really amazing quote. You know, that space is the place where we have this ability or this power to actually choose our response, to recognize that we don't just have to do the same old thing that's kept us stuck for a long time, that we actually have the ability to choose and to do something else.
And, you know, that's really one of the most important things, to know that we have that ability to choose to know that you know we don't have to just do the same old thing that's been keeping us stuck and you know it's a really up uplifting and kind of powerful idea when we recognize that well we can start taking our power back we can start realizing that you know despite OCD being there well we can still be happy we can still have freedom we can still live our lives
and in the process often OCD does tend to take a bit of a back seat and it really kind of feeds into you know everything I want to talk about today which is really looking at the idea of of choice you know and how it how it kind of impacts us in in regards to to OCD.
So I wanted to start off by just kind of talking a little bit more about Viktor Frankl and who who he actually was well Viktor Frankl was imprisoned in Auschwitz during the second world war sadly his entire family passed away there but somehow he survived to tell his horrifying story despite living through events that might break a normal person Frankl was able to find the strength necessary to survive his experiences and he actually credited this to his reliance on his own personal psychology
he was actually a psychologist you know and this was something that he later referred to as logo therapy his his book man's search for meaning was actually originally entitled death camp to existentialism and and it lays out his belief that we can actually overcome even the most terrible of circumstances through finding meaning. So his most famous quote is this, the last of human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way.
And of course, this is incredibly uplifting. It really helps us to put our attention on finding that meaning in our life, Even when we're struggling, to try to find some kind of meaning in that struggle can be a really helpful way to actually get through it. You know, and his work is incredibly uplifting. If you haven't read that book, Man's Search for Meaning, I highly recommend it.
¶ Understanding Reality Therapy
Another important and theoretical underpinning when it comes to choice comes from something called reality therapy, which is an interesting name. And it was developed by somebody called William Glasser in the 1960s. Reality therapy believes that humans are intrinsically motivated by their needs. And this results in choices and behaviors.
And it's really based on that belief that individuals are really motivated by their own basic human needs and that behavior is really just a result of their choices based on those needs. Now Glasser is also the creator of another famous theory and that is choice theory which as the name suggests emphasizes the importance of of choice, rather than external circumstances in the development of our thoughts and emotions.
When we focus on choice in this way and we recognize the importance of it, it seems to help to create a kind of sense of personal responsibility. And reality therapy aims to instill this in people.
It's really about recognizing there is a sense of empowerment that comes from claiming that personal responsibility for for your choices and therefore you know for for how you're feeling a lot of the time and that through personal choices people can enact real change in their lives now of course this does not detract from the fact that you know OCD is incredibly difficult you know so of course we need to be sensitive here because we all know what it's like to have OCD. It's incredibly hard.
So in no way do I think that this is trying to detract from that. I think it's actually the opposite. I think it's.
It's more about trying to help people to recognize that although difficult emotional situations and disorders such as OCD can be incredibly difficult to live with, when we recognize that we have some influence over that through our choices, that despite the challenge of it, we still have power, well of course that's going to help you to feel much stronger to to help you to recognize that there's things that you can actually do that you're not completely stuck you know and that's uplifting that's
important and that's what we really need to try to focus our attention onto is the things that we can actually change the things that we can influence and we should try our best to let go of the things that we can't for example we can't influence whether we whether we get intrusive thoughts you know that's that's simply not something that you can you can change and if you try you're gonna wind up getting very frustrated we can't influence
our emotions sometimes we're going to be experiencing difficult emotions sometimes we're going to experience anxiety sometimes we're going to to feel sadness or joy and there's a kind of natural flow of those And when we accept those things, well, they might become easier to manage. But we can't completely control them. We have to go with them. We have to acknowledge that our emotions are there and that they're actually a part of us.
We wouldn't really want it any other way. I mean, if we, you know, if we didn't have emotions and that kind of, you know, that movement of emotion, that change within us, life would become very still, would become very boring. So being able to go with the flow of emotions, well, actually, we open ourselves up to life a little bit more.
¶ Distinguishing Wants from Needs
Another important element of reality therapy is that it really focuses in on the distinction between wants and needs and the kind of choices that we make there. Glasser identified five basic needs, survival, love, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.
Rather than focusing on wants, which actually involves someone trying to fulfill those needs in various ways, ways Glasser emphasized the importance of helping the person to identify their needs and then beneficial ways of them actually fulfilling them now of course the the rolling stones is coming straight into my head here I can hear Mick Jagger screaming you can't always get what you want and you know this is obviously very true when it comes to OCD unfortunately
unfortunately I think what most of us would want is just for OCD to go away to leave us alone because it's so annoying it's so frustrating to have to deal with it you know but it's not helpful to get into that mindset as we know when we can be in more of a kind of gratitude based mindset a hopeful mindset then we tend to do better with OCD and sometimes part of that process might actually involve us recognizing that we need to focus
on the things that we actually need rather than the unhelpful things that we think that we we want so often those things can take us in the wrong direction and so it can be helpful you know to identify the things that are really essential. And I think working on things like self-compassion, for example, acceptance, fun, maybe that involves personal power in some way. These things are really important. And sometimes we focus, I think, on the wrong things, like I want to get rid of anxiety.
I want to feel better immediately. immediately of course you know learning to manage anxiety learning how to feel better you know those are good things to work on and you know i completely understand why why you would want that but often they can involve you know pushing things away or that can be a kind of like negative goal like i want to get rid of the anxiety i think it can be more helpful sometimes to focus on you know what do I actually really need what
would be really beneficial for me what would help me and then try to to make positive choices that are about you living your life more fully living your life in accordance with your values doing things that get you excited that make you feel powerful that make you feel that you can enact change in your life when you can focus on things like that I think it really does help that process of, you know, learning to deal with OCD more effectively, learning to be more compassionate
and accepting of your anxiety, you know, and so it's so important that we recognize the role of choice in that process. So many thanks, guys. I really hope that you enjoyed that one.
¶ Conclusion and Resources
If you have any questions at all about anything I've spoken about today, do please let me know and I will see you next time.
Just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session, and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website Instagram page, Facebook group or anywhere else online line or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to
be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.