Chasing Perfect OCD Recovery? Here’s Why It’s Keeping You Stuck

Music. Hello and welcome to the OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music.

Hello and welcome to episode 474 i hope that you're doing very well today wherever you are and if you are struggling with ocd and anxiety well you can get a free discovery call with me to get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book in directly for that free discovery call or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with. Now on to today's episode. Maybe you're wondering why am I actually not getting

better from OCD or I'm doing ERP the right way. Why is it not improving? And if you find yourself stuck in a cycle of obsessing over recovery then today's episode is for you. The truth is obsessing over recovery can actually keep you trapped in a cycle of OCD and this is something that I struggled with a lot myself. The more we try to fix ourselves, the more OCD convinces us that something is still missing, something kind of needs fixing, we need to find the right way to do it.

But real recovery isn't about solving every thought, It's about learning how to actually live with the uncertainty that OCD produces and take small, consistent steps forward in our lives, despite the fact that OCD might be there in the background. So today I'm going to break down exactly why obsessing over recovery is a trap and how to break free from that mindset and also what you should focus on instead to actually start making more progress.

So let's get straight into it. One of the biggest traps I see people falling into is the idea that recovery is something that you kind of have to achieve perfectly, like a test you need to pass or a puzzle that you need to solve, only it's a puzzle of your brain. OCD loves this idea because it keeps you stuck in a loop of constantly checking. Analyzing, and doubting your own progress.

Think about it, how often do you catch yourself at researching OCD recovery for hours, looking for the perfect strategy to let it go, checking how you feel every day, wondering if you're actually making enough progress with it. Perhaps you might even compare yourself to other people who struggle with similar types of OCD as you. And you're wondering, you know, why? Why am I kind of still doing this? Why do I get stuck thinking in this way?

And these are actually all compulsions, just like any other OCD compulsion. The more we monitor and check and test our progress, the more we reinforce the belief that, you know, we need certainty about recovery. And the reality is you'll never feel 100% certain and actually that's okay, you don't need that certainty. I struggled with this myself for many years and when I first started trying to recover from OCD, I thought I had to constantly evaluate my progress.

You know, I would wake up and immediately check, okay, are the thoughts there today or am I feeling a bit better?

You know, is the anxiety there is it a little bit weaker than it was yesterday am I still thinking about that that thing again but you know every time that I did this actually I pulled myself straight back into the cycle again the more I focused on whether I was getting better the more OCD stayed in control and I wasn't actually living I was just managing you know my my recovery but not actually doing that very well.

So how do you stop obsessing over recovery and actually starting to make some progress? Well the first thing is shifting from a problem-solving mindset to a value-driven mindset and this is a big part of acceptance commitment therapy. So let me explain. OCD recovery isn't a puzzle that you need to solve. It's a lifestyle shift where you learn to live alongside uncertainty.

You don't need to fix your thoughts you need to change the way that you actually respond to them change your relationship to them.

This is where acceptance comes in instead of checking you know whether you're improving all the time and looking for that certainty about that you focus on showing up in your in your life in the best possible way regardless of how you feel recovery isn't something that you you chase it's something that happens as a byproduct of actually living your life differently more in line with your values and a big shift that that helped me was realizing that recovery isn't about eliminating OCD but

learning about how to live fully with it there in the background and once I stopped trying to kind of get rid of every single intrusive thought and instead I actually began focusing on taking positive actions more meaningful things each day that actually made me live more in line with my values that actually I started to feel a bit more free. If you're struggling with OCD and anxiety and you would like to get some support with that I offer a free discovery call.

To get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book in directly for that discovery call and yeah please let me know if you have any questions at all about that.

So let's talk about two different loops. One that keeps you stuck and the other that allows you to start moving forward. So the recovery loop, as I like to call it, is a kind of loop where you're constantly checking if you're feeling better.

You're researching OCD endlessly, doubting whether you're doing ACT, for example, ERP in the right way and restarting the techniques from the beginning going through all the steps and you're getting frustrated with yourself you're feeling that you're not at improving fast enough that recovery should be something that you know it should be happening you should be seeing those results and you're not so you know you're frustrated you're annoyed with yourself maybe

you're doing it wrong somehow other people can do it but you're but you're not going to and we start getting very judgmental with ourselves getting very frustrated with ourselves and certainly not improving our situation with the OCD. And the other loop is the life loop, which looks a bit more like this.

You're taking small steps forward, focusing on what actually matters to you, accepting that some days will be harder than others and trusting that consistency will bring you what you're looking for over time. And the more you choose the life loop, the more you actually weaken the recovery loop. And it's a choice that you have to keep making every single day, every single moment. Do I want to spend today testing whether I'm actually recovering from OCD?

Or do I want to spend today living, focusing on my goals and my values despite OCD being there in the background?

And obviously being able to answer that question, making that choice and choosing to focus on your goals and your values you know and to keep on doing that it can be difficult. But actually, it's rewarding. It feels really good when you start letting go of that perfectionism and you just focus on today. What can I do today that's going to help me to feel a bit better, that's going to get me more in line with my values, that's going to make me a bit more authentic?

You know, when you're doing that, it really does feel good and it is a choice. And I think that's so important because if it wasn't a choice, obviously, we would feel quite disempowered. And actually gaining that sense of empowerment that you can deal with OCD is incredibly important if you want to overcome it in the long term.

If you're someone who listens to this podcast, chances are you're looking for real ways to break free from OCD. Maybe you've thought about getting support but feel hesitant to start coaching or perhaps you're looking for something structured that you can work through at your own pace. That's exactly why I created OCD Elements Foundations for Freedom, a step-by-step course designed to help you understand OCD, change your relationship with intrusive thoughts, and take back control of your life.

This course is for you if you feel stuck in repetitive OCD loops and need practical strategies to break free. You want a clear, structured approach that guides you through the most effective techniques for managing OCD. You're interested in acceptance and commitment therapy and want to learn how to apply it in a way that truly works. You'd like to learn from someone who has been through it personally and understands exactly how you're feeling.

Here's what people are saying about the course. The methods in the OCD Elements course have helped me immensely with OCD. You do have to work hard and commit to the process but Robert explains all the concepts really clearly and he is really inspiring as he has been through it all himself and knows exactly how you're feeling.

I was really in a dark and hopeless place with Century Motor OCD but working with Robert has allowed me to start living my life and pursuing my goals again and gradually making a recovery. Another person says, I have tried various counsellors and therapists in the past before I came across Rob's coaching course. I find the acceptance and commitment therapy approach incredibly beneficial. It's helped me develop a much better understanding and relationship with OCD.

These tools have already made a huge difference in my day-to-day life and I feel confident about the future. I would recommend this course to anyone. As a listener of the podcast, you can get 50% off by using the promo code BREAKFREE at checkout. The link to the course is in the show notes. So if you're ready to take the next step, head over now and check it out.

So what are some other things that you can do if you find yourself constantly obsessing about whether you're making progress, whether you're recovering from OCD? And I think a really obvious one is to actually let go of the checking. See if you can give yourself a no testing rule. You don't need to analyze your progress every day.

Trust the process instead of checking for the results all the time another tip is to simply allow uncertainty you don't need certainty in order to move forward with your life so when that inevitable doubt comes in remind yourself that you know you don't need certainty in order to move forward see if you can take a step forward in your life today despite the fact that perhaps you're feeling a little bit anxious about something perhaps you're not

wanting to kind of take that that step forward because you have a limiting belief or because you know there's something else that's blocking you from from doing that if you can find a way you know even if it's a really small thing to start with where you just push yourself a little bit just to step forward into that thing despite the fact that you know you may be feeling really uncomfortable about it you know you begin to to kind of gather evidence Well,

look, actually today I managed to do that. I didn't think I could. What could I do tomorrow? Maybe I can set myself another goal related to that thing that's a little bit harder. And over time, you start proving to yourself that you can do these things that for a long time, you may have been telling yourself that you can't actually do. Another really important tip is to limit OCD research. If you find yourself googling OCD recovery constantly see if you can set a boundary.

Maybe allow yourself 10 minutes of this max a day and then any other times that you find yourself doing it try to refocus your attention onto a different activity. Another helpful tip is to live first and recover second. If your goal is to be fully present and to enjoy your relationship to live according to your your values then start doing those things today even if OCD is still there in the background.

In my experience OCD recovery happens when you stop obsessing over it and start focusing on life. It's not about trying to kind of fix yourself it's about learning how to live more fully even with the uncertainty there in the background. If you're struggling with OCD and want a clear, structured plan to break free from compulsions and intrusive thoughts, then I've put everything that I've learned over many years of coaching people with OCD into a course.

It's called OCD Elements at Foundations for Freedom. Right now, you can get 50% off with the promo code BREAKFREE. There is a link in the show notes and many thanks if you have any questions at all about anything i spoke about today do please let me know please do subscribe to the show many thanks and i will see you next time.

And now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram page facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other medical or mental health. Music.