¶ Introduction to the Podcast
The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching Thank you for listening. Music. Hello and welcome to The OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music.
¶ Embracing Our True Selves
Hello and welcome to episode 417. I hope that wherever you are today, you're doing very well and if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety and you would like to get some support with that well you can by heading over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book in for a free session or you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with.
In today's podcast I'm talking about this idea of the the OCD looking glass which is really the concept of you know when we look at ourselves and we think okay I'm an OCD person really what this does is it kind of limits us sometimes it can kind of hold us back and recognizing that and actually seeing yourself in a different way can be can be very helpful if you do find the podcast helpful it'd be amazing if you could subscribe most people who listen are not actually subscribed so if you
could do that i would really really appreciate it so many thanks guys i really hope that you enjoy if you have any questions at all do please let me know and off we go.
¶ The Power of Letting Go
I wanted to share a quote by Joseph Campbell to get us started today and it is this, we must let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. And I think this is a very interesting quote when it comes to OCD because of course what we're doing with OCD is we're trying to control things. We want things to be a very specific way. We may We perhaps want to feel a certain way. We want things to be a certain way.
We don't want to have particular thoughts. We don't want to have particular emotions coming up. And we're trying to control all of these things. And the problem is when we do this is we don't allow life to kind of unfold in the way that it could. You know, okay, yeah, maybe we are experiencing all sorts of challenges that do come up with OCD. and of course there are a lot of very difficult challenges with it.
However, if we are willing to kind of meet that challenge, to recognize that it is very difficult, it's very hard, in many regards, it's kind of unfair. But actually, you know, if we remain in that kind of mindset, we'll get frustrated, we'll get angry, you know, we'll get out of touch with gratitude and these things that tend to help us.
And when instead we actually recognize that you know okay there are things that are imperfect here there's discomfort here there's a lot of things that I don't like however you know I can still live a great life with some of those the some of those things being there in the background and this is a kind of big message really from acceptance commitment therapy really to to to kind of get back into your life and bring the difficult emotions, the thoughts, the feelings along for the ride.
And, you know, and in a way, it's kind of what Joseph Campbell is referring to here. You know, when we stop controlling things so much and we say, okay, there is a life that is waiting for me here. It's not the one that I may be envisioned.
It's different from what I I thought it was going to be there appears to be a few more challenges there than I thought we're going to be there but actually you know if I accept that and I just focus on you know making the most of of this situation then actually you know suddenly life might start producing all sorts of interesting things you might start getting some very different results because you're much more willing to kind of meet life where you are rather than trying to determine
or bend life to to to your will you know and that's something I was doing myself for many years and I think that's a big part of the reason for why you know for for all of those years I felt so trapped. So how does this relate to the looking glass self that I was talking about at the start here? Well, I think, unfortunately, many people are looking through that looking glass self at their OCD self. And, you know, this is something that we're doing all the time.
¶ Overcoming the OCD Identity
You know, we use that label, that acronym of OCD.
I mean, I'm using it all the time on this podcast and it is a necessary thing of course you know the the the label OCD in many respects can be helpful because it allows you to recognize the problem that you have to know that you're not alone to to kind of perhaps meet other people who struggle with similar things to you you know and it allows you to to get the right support the right help so in many ways that's good but also you know if we we reflect
too too much on that if we look at ourselves in that mirror and we just see an OCD person you know there's me that I'm somebody who struggles with anxiety I have obsessions I have ruminations I get stuck in the trap I can't get out of it of course what happens is this becomes a very negative story that we're telling ourselves it becomes a limiting belief and you know we're We're looking in that looking glass mirror, and we're seeing this person, and we're convincing ourselves that we're stuck.
And, you know, really what kind of Joseph Campbell talks a lot about is this kind of hero's journey. This recognition that life is going to be difficult and that part of our job is to recognize that challenge, even though at times it can be incredibly difficult, incredibly hard.
And to do our best even if that's only just taking small steps each day to lean into that challenge to to get on and try to do things anyway you know to to be grateful for the things that are actually going well in our lives whilst recognizing the things that are very very difficult it's not about ignoring those things it's not about saying that they don't exist i mean they exist they're there we have to acknowledge those those challenges and try to accept them but you.
Know if we are able to do this if we're able to kind of reframe the problem and move away from this idea of brokenness really for many years when i look back at my 20s i felt like something was wrong that i was broken in some way and that you know i was able unable to move forward in my life until i'd resolved this problem but that very kind of opinion was holding me back of course if you believe that you're broken that you need to fix yourself before you can do anything in your life well you're
going to remain stuck and I think unfortunately a lot of us can end up in that place if we're not careful if.
Instead we recognize that actually you know we can get moving today day that it may be challenging there may be all sorts of things that are getting in our way you know be that to do with our work situation or family situation or different issues that you may have in your particular country where you live or because of your culture or you know whatever that might be there's all sorts of challenges that each and every person might be experiencing.
And so of course you know we need to recognize that but we also need to reflect on what what are some things even if they're small things that I can do today and hopefully make a habit of that and start doing each day that are going to get me moving again in the right direction that are going to help me to be a bit more compassionate with myself to be a bit more accepting a bit more more understanding, to let go of perfection,
and actually to try to meet life where I am today, rather than trying to say, well, I have to be better today. I have to be perfect today. No, you don't. You're allowed to be struggling today. You're allowed to have some discomfort today. These difficult things are allowed to be there.
You know the the objective is you know to have that kind of approach and i think when we do that when we recognize that we can we can make progress even if we are you know struggling at times that's very encouraging it kind of gives you a sense of relief you know not feeling that you have to feel just right before you take action in a way it kind of sets you free it's kind of like okay okay, well, I'm allowed to feel bad. That doesn't mean that I'm not doing well.
That just means that I'm experiencing some difficult emotions right now.
¶ Finding Strength in Struggles
And if I get going and I get moving in my life, perhaps some of those difficult emotions will get a little bit easier to manage and I'll be able to start seeing things from a different perspective. And when you look in that looking glass mirror, you start to see yourself a bit differently.
You start seeing yourself as somebody who can take on challenges, challenges who who recognizes that they struggle with anxiety and OCD with intrusive thoughts with ruminations but that also they have they have resolved they have inner strength and you know that you're able to kind of take on the challenge and I think you know if we can get into that kind of mindset you know it can really help with with moving forward so many thanks guys I really hope
that you enjoyed that if you have any questions at all about anything i've spoken about today do please let me know and i will see you next time just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram page
facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other a medical or mental health professional. Music.