Breaking Down Limiting Beliefs

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music. Hello and welcome to The OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders disorders, taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music. Hello and welcome to episode 376. I hope that you're doing very well today. And if you are are struggling with OCD or anxiety then you can get a free session with me.

To get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com. There you can book in for that free session directly or if you prefer you can send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling with.

In today's podcast I am going to be talking about how we can begin to overcome limiting beliefs particularly those around OCD but the way in which I'm going to be talking about it today is actually coming at that kind of inadvertently, not directly going for those limiting beliefs, but doing that in a slightly different way. So yeah, if you find the podcast helpful, you can head over to Instagram and follow and like there. My Instagram handle is at robertjamescoachinguk.

There is also Patreon for the podcast. If you're interested in signing up for that, I can record you your own special Patreon podcast episode. You can follow the link in there in show notes for that. That also the podcast is now on youtube so many thanks guys i really hope that you enjoy this episode if you have any questions whatsoever do please feel free to get in touch and let me know and i really hope that you enjoy.

In an article entitled, How Do We Limit Ourselves by Anita Horton, she argues that we actually self-perpetuate self-limiting beliefs. She says directly that as with any prejudice or assumption, our sensory systems self-select information that supports our beliefs. These hidden and self-perpetuating beliefs have a profound effect on our actions, our feelings, and ultimately our our success and happiness. And, you know, this is obviously very true when it comes to OCD and anxiety.

So often our beliefs are determining, you know, how we show up in the world, how we deal with other people, how we deal with difficult situations, how we deal with our own thoughts and, you know, our fears.

And unfortunately with OCD, you know, it does seem to be true that, you know to a certain to a certain degree we've shut ourself off from lots of possibilities we're telling ourselves a very negative story about our ability to to deal with fear uncertainty anxiety particularly around the the obsessions that you may be struggling with you know the truth is that if we were able to view things slightly differently if we were able to tell ourselves ourselves a bit of

a different story when it came to to our fears you know and to let go of some of those limiting beliefs then you know quite possibly we can really start to to get back and out into our lives and start living in a way which is much more authentic and much more um about the person that we really want to be rather than you know constantly trying to avoid the discomfort of of uncertainty which seems to it seems to kind of characterize OCD and it's almost like we kind of get

stuck in this this kind of black and white thinking know where either we believe that we we really can do something or that we really can't Carl Jung kind of talks about this kind of thing in this way he says in my picture there is a vast outer and an equally vast inner realm between these two stands the individual facing now one. And then the other and according to mood or.

Disposition taking one for absolute truth by denying or sacrificing the other and you know how often are we sacrificing things in our lives with OCD because we've taken as absolute truth or as close as might be, you know, that this fear is, you know, going to limit us and is going to, you know, we can't overcome it. We are stuck that the OCD has won and we can't do this or that because of it.

And, you know, it's this kind of black and white thinking, you know, where we're just seeing things from one perspective. We're not actually opening up to all of the different possibilities that, you know, perhaps actually we could do that thing. So often there is actually, you know, a whole lot of gray when it comes to OCD. And I've said this in the past, part of getting over OCD is really learning how to step out into that gray area.

You know you may not be feeling perfect you you probably won't be feeling perfect part of you know exposure work is actually to to put yourself out there despite the fact that you know maybe you're not feeling a hundred percent maybe you haven't got that just right feeling but you recognize the importance of getting out there in your life and getting on with things anyway and actually allowing that that kind of uncertainty to be there because obviously

when we're doing that then we are developing psychological flexibility and this is really what you know it's all about we really want to learn how to to do that again certainly in my own story with OCD I was holding on to a lot of limiting beliefs that you know I couldn't overcome it that it becomes so bad that you know that was it now and I kind of my perspective of it really was that that because I'd been doing it for so long, I'd been,

you know, stuck in these cycles for so long that I'd etched these kind of neurocircuits into my brain. And that meant that I wasn't ever going to be able to walk away from this, that I was always going to be stuck with it, you know, and I really saw that from a kind of place of certainty. I had assured myself that that was was true and it was really obviously really holding me back it was stopping me from taking.

Action because obviously if you go around with that kind of limiting belief you only kind of half-heartedly you know try the things that you know that you you think are actually could make a difference that you hear about okay maybe you can do exposure work and that does actually help for OCD you know maybe you can do acceptance commitment therapy maybe you can start exercising maybe you can get back into your life and start living

it by your values all of these things that we talk about on this podcast you know but I was kind of you know telling myself yeah I could do that but it's probably not going to work because you know I'm stuck this is that was my belief and, unfortunately you know if you are thinking like that obviously it does it does impact things a lot and so learning how to to let go identify and then let go of some of those limiting beliefs, is obviously really, really important.

This is one of the reasons for why I do the Wim Hof method. You know, when you get into an ice bath, of course, if you're going to do cold exposure, you should do it in a safe way. But yeah, if you practice, you know, with cold exposure, you're doing that with other people and you're doing it responsibly, it can be a very beneficial way to overcome a limiting belief. Because when you get into the cold, you really want to get out straight away.

You think that you can't do it. You think that you can't stay. You feel a sense of panic that comes over you. Your breath really speeds up and, you know, it's really quite difficult.

But by remaining for a. Minute or two your body actually learns how to acclimatize to that very difficult situation you prove to yourself that you can do it and lo and behold you suddenly got a bit more belief in yourself and really what I'm going to be talking about today is the importance of of doing things that you know that you think or maybe you thought in the past that you that you couldn't do and this doesn't have to be in relation to the OCD of course if you're doing some exposure work

and you're working with somebody a therapist or somebody to help you to take on that challenge of doing exposure around the areas that you're obsessing about well that that's great because obviously that's addressing that limiting belief in a direct way what I'm talking about today is more inadvertently indirectly challenging that that that some of those beliefs that you know that you can't do certain things it's my experience that actually a lot of these skills are

transferable so you know if you prove to yourself that you know you can do something that you've always thought that you couldn't then actually that's that's something that will help you when you come to try to tackle some of the limiting beliefs that you might have around your your mental health around anxiety around OCD.

For example, I've already given you the example of Wim Hof, but something that I've been doing recently is teaching myself how to juggle because for some reason, I don't know why, but I convinced myself that I couldn't do it. I think when I was younger, my older brother, he got some juggling balls for Christmas or something. And, you know, at some point he'd learned how to do it and I gave it a go. I tried it a few times, you know, I couldn't do it because because it takes a bit of practice.

And I just gave up. I thought, no, I can't do that. That's too difficult. I'm not somebody who can juggle. Of course, it was just a limiting belief. And recently, I got some juggling balls. And I went onto YouTube, I found a couple of videos, I started practicing the basics. And within a few days, you know, I learned how to do it. And it was a real buzz. I really felt really, really good about it, really positive about it.

It was really fun to learn this new thing and to prove to myself oh that was just the limiting belief you know and if I can do that well what else can I do you know of course this is just juggling it's not anything that impressive lots of people can juggle but for me it was like quite an interesting thing because for so long I just thought that I couldn't do that thing you know and it is transferable it does help you with other areas of life when you begin

to realize that you can do do more things than you thought, then, you know, I think that does help when it comes to taking on the challenge of OCD.

So, you know, it might be helpful for you in your own lives to reflect on what are, you know, some limiting beliefs that you have, or what are some activities. That you would like to do that you've always told yourself that you couldn't.

Of course, you need to, whatever you decide to do, you need to make sure that you do that in a safe way don't do anything irresponsible or unsafe but you know maybe reflect on you know some activities or a sport or or something anything that that you think that you really couldn't do a new skill learning a language you know there's so many different things that it could be and you know see if you can get out there and and learn that thing and prove to yourself that actually

you can And you really can just by, you know, breaking problems down into smaller steps, learning, you know, the first few things about that thing. When I was learning how to juggle, I was literally starting with two balls and just throwing one into one hand and the other into the other, making sure that the balls were reasonably around about the right height and that they were landing in my hand at a kind of steady kind of rate. And then I was able to add in another ball slowly over time.

And so, you know, whatever problem that you're taking on, just try to break it down into little steps, prove to yourself, you know, that you can do it and you'll start to feel that buzz, that energy of change.

And I think that's really contagious. What we need to do with OCD is we need to start creating this sense of momentum, the the sense of change and the sense that we can do it that we're not stuck you know we're not a victim of OCD that actually we really can overcome it if we are willing to to kind of get a bit uncomfortable because learning a new skill learning a new thing is always going to be a bit uncomfortable you know you when I was there trying to learn how to juggle or

trying to learn how to do the Wim Hof method there was many moments where I felt like giving up because I was getting frustrated with it I was telling myself this is silly what you're doing what's the point in it you're not going to be successful and like all of this negativity comes up anytime that we try to do something new or learn something that's going to be worthwhile for us you know and that's that's That's resistance.

For some reason, I think Steven Pressfield talks about this in his fantastic book, The War of Art. Any time that we sit down to do something meaningful or important to us, this sense of resistance comes up. And it tells us, no, don't do that. That's hard. Go and do something else. Go and have a break.

Go and have a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes. go and you know go and take the dog for a walk or whatever it is you know we just persuade ourselves that we shouldn't do that that thing because it's going to be difficult. And we have to overcome that resistance. And, you know, again, that comes up a lot with OCD as well. We persuade ourselves, no, I just need to think about this one more time. I shouldn't do the exposure activity or I shouldn't refocus my attention onto the present.

It's much better just to sit here and just think about it one more time because then I can have that certainty, you know. And obviously we don't want to be doing that. We want to be getting back into our lives and, you know, to really feel that we can do that. I think we have to prove to ourselves that we can develop that momentum, that we can overcome these difficult obstacles, that even if that resistance is there, we can overcome that resistance.

We can accept the discomfort and get on with doing the difficult thing anyway. But this is why I think it's really important. Break things down into little steps, the same as you might do if you're doing an exposure activity.

And you know prove to yourself over time that you really can overcome some of these things that maybe for a long time you've been telling yourself that that you can't so there we go guys i really hope that you enjoyed that one if you have any questions at all about anything i've spoken about today do please let me know also there is patreon for the podcast now if you would like me to do your own personal patreon podcast you can sign up for that by following the

patreon link in the show notes so many thanks guys and i will see you next time just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free session all you need to do to get that is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free session and now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer any information that you view on my website instagram page facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to

on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. Music.