Break the Cycle: 3 Powerful Approaches to Defeat OCD Delusions.

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching. Music. Hello and welcome to The OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have

a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders disorders taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not the one chosen by your fears. Music. Hello and welcome to episode 362. I

hope that you're doing very well today and if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety as you may know you can get a free session with me need to get that you can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there you can book in for that free session or if you prefer you can send me a message and just let me know about what you're struggling with in today's podcast we're going to be looking at breaking the cycle of OCD and

in particular three approaches that can really help us to kind of defeat those horrible delusions that that OCD likes to kind of provide for us. If you do struggle with OCD, then you know that when we are really in the throes of it, it's almost like OCD is a kind of sitcom character that keeps walking uninvited into our living rooms. And it's kind of there, it's eating snacks, it's getting them all over the floor.

It's being horrible. It's making inappropriate jokes. It's just being very annoying. And so, of course, we want to find a way to get rid of this horrible character, this ridiculous person that is OCD. Now, of course, it may not be a person, but I do think it's helpful when we personify OCD and kind of give it this kind of character. You know because it's it's this

thing that too often we kind of believe that it's us that the OCD is this part of our personality that it's that it's you know this horrible part of our personality that keeps wanting us to feel down and bad when actually you know it's more like this this kind of unwanted sitcom character that's you know he's come into your life uninvited he's there he's causing all sorts of problems but actually he doesn't need to be there and you know when we focus on

some of the strategies that we're going to be talking about today it can really help us to just kind of lead him to the door you know show him the exit and lock that door once he's gone anyway guys if you do find the podcast helpful it'd be great if you could follow and like i would really appreciate that also the podcast is now on youtube so if you'd like to head over there and follow and like on YouTube as well. That would be fantastic.

And yeah, many thanks. If you have any questions at all, do please let me know. Off we go.

I wanted to start today with a quote by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz from his fantastic book about OCD, Brain Lock. I recommend checking it out if you've not read it before. And here is the quote. The OCD cycle starts with an obsessive thought, followed by anxiety, leading to compulsive behaviors aimed at reducing that anxiety. And finally, a temporary relief from the anxiety, only for the cycle to repeat itself.

Self and unfortunately this is something that happens time and time again if you struggle with OCD you know the the OCD cycle is something that you will be spending a lot of time in and it's.

It's a really difficult place to be when we are feeling a lot of anxiety the urge to perform a compulsion is is so uh is so strong it's so intense that it can be so difficult to kind of turn away and do something else it it kind of feels like you know we have to perform that compulsion before we're able to move on and kind of get on with our day or you know before we're able to it's good to kind of feel good again and this is obviously not true but when we are in that cycle when we

are you know really struggling with the OCD it kind of convinces us us that it is it wants to take away the idea that we have a choice you know as I talk about a lot on this podcast recognizing that you do actually have a choice is a huge part of learning you know to to overcome it, And this is really the kind of first thing that I wanted to talk about today, is choice. When we recognize that actually we have this choice,

that we are not captives to the OCD, that we don't just have to do what it's telling us to do, and that even when we make a kind of an unhelpful choice or a wrong choice, whatever that is, I think I like to kind of say unhelpful because, you know, if the choice is actually going to take you away from what you care about in your life, it's going to bring you out of the present. It's going to make you, you know, perform more compulsions in the future.

Then obviously that choice is not helping you. It's not helping you to be the person that you want to be. So it's unhelpful. and you know when

we are making those kinds of choices unfortunately we are just perpetuating this this cycle of OCD that Jeffrey Schwartz really kind of describes really well here and so you know it's so important that we recognize this and I feel when I was really struggling one of the things that I struggled with the most is this sense that I was kind of trapped And that's a horrible feeling to experience. And I have this intuition that a lot of people with OCD are actually experiencing something very similar.

You know, it's a feeling of being trapped because when you feel that you have to, or you're telling yourself that you have to perform this compulsion, of course, that's a feeling of being trapped in this OCD trap or the anxiety trap or whatever you want to call it.

Fortunately for us you know it's not a trap we have the ability to kind of you know escape from this situation and one of the ways in which we can do that or the first step of kind of of doing that is recognizing that you do actually have this choice and starting to make more helpful choices starting to do things that are going to lead you towards your values rather than away from them and obviously in the moment that can be really difficult and this is a new habit that you've got to

kind of strive for you know nothing really comes that easy with OCD unfortunately you know we have to learn how to lean into the discomfort you know and make a choice. That maybe in the short term it's going. To be really difficult it might mean when we make that.

Positive choice that we're going to feel more anxiety in the short term but in the long term when we make that positive choice for example when we think of the OCD cycle 12 o'clock obsession three o'clock anxiety six o'clock we perform a compulsion nine o'clock we feel slightly better for a short time and then we just go back to the start of the cycle if we can make a choice of you know when we are at three o'clock when we're feeling the anxiety as we know we can't stop

the triggers so you know if you get intrusive thoughts you can't stop those you know they they do tend to dampen down when we don't pay so much attention to them but we can't control them so there's no point in worrying about that but what we can do is at three o'clock when we're feeling that anxiety we can make a kind of choice to actually stay and allow ourselves to actually feel that anxiety and that leads into to kind of point number two and that

is that we have to actually allow ourselves to really start feeling our emotions more and you know not just the positive ones actually you know we've really got to find a way to start tuning into the difficult emotions no matter how hard that might might be at times and of course it can be very very hard you know we've got to find a way to start paying attention to imperfection.

There's a book by Breen Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection, where actually she talks about, you know, the significance and importance of embracing our emotions. She says this, we cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones. And yeah, again, this points to something incredibly important.

You know, if we just want to kind of control everything which again this is a big part of OCD if we just try to control our emotions and we determine that we just want to feel a certain way all the time then when we feel like that then actually you know everything's going to be okay we're going to be happy and when we don't feel like that well you know that's a problem and we have to start kind of ruminating and compulsing in order to kind of change that situation and

to feel that particular way that we want to feel this is inevitably going to to lead us into that kind of OCD trap that OCD cycle you know because we can't determine you know to feel exactly how we want to feel all the time we have to go along with the inevitable ups and downs of our of our emotions that we're going to experience. You know, when we demand to feel a certain way all the time,

really, we're kind of going against our own biology, we're going against the world and how it is, you know, we have to be a little bit more flexible with things.

And, you know, a big part of mental health is actually having that mental flexibility to be able to kind of tolerate and accept these changes and emotions that we experience over time you know our emotions can begin to even out as we're you know we're not getting so caught up in our thoughts all the time we're not pushing away things we're not resisting things you know but it's so important that we get into this habit of actually feeling what we're feeling for a long time when I was struggling

I just wanted to kind of feel happy all the time I I was kind of telling myself, if I can just find a way to always be happy, you know, then that will be the problem solved, you know, and this is before I even knew I had OCD and obviously I was ruminating all the time, I was performing compulsions, I didn't even know I was doing it and one of those was that, that I was demanding that I feel a certain way all the time and it was causing

me a lot of pain because of course it doesn't quite work, we just end up kind of going round in circles with it.

It was almost like my kind of brain security system was on hyperdrive, you know, sending out these alerts for any potential threat that could come in and kind of overwhelm the situation, you know, and that alarm would just be shouting out, deploy the compulsion, send them out there, get those compulsions out there, resolve the situation, do not allow any of those sneaky emotions to find their way through, you know. And as long as you do this, unfortunately, you're creating resistance.

You're creating a kind of emotional storm because the more that you push these things away, the more energy you're giving to them and the bigger they actually become.

Come in order for us to kind of you know really start feeling a bit better in this situation you know of course we have to find a way to start accepting those emotions and that's why I think it's so important each day if you can to actually try to to find some time even if it's only five minutes or even two minutes to just actually check in with yourself to to sit down somewhere ideally at home if you can and just just feel what you're feeling often people tend

to feel anxiety in the stomach or the chest you know so it can be a really good idea to just sit down close your eyes if you're somewhere safe to do that and just pay attention to the stomach pay attention to the chest or if you feel it in the head or if you feel it in the left toe wherever Wherever you feel it, just sit down and try to pay attention.

Try to notice what you're feeling. Imagine that you're zooming in on that feeling, almost like a kind of Google map where you're pressing that zoom button and you're getting a little bit closer to it. And as you get closer, see if you can pay attention a bit more. Are there new things that you've not noticed about it before? Some people find it helpful to imagine that they're breathing in a white light

of compassion and kindness and awareness. And, you know, by breathing this white light down into the places in the body where you're experiencing the anxiety, then that can really help you to kind of bring a bit more acceptance to it. And remember, a lot of what I'm talking about here is actually curiosity. When we're able to bring a bit more curiosity to our emotions, you know, this is really kind of the beginnings of acceptance.

And so each day when you're actually interested in what you're feeling, rather than constantly allowing that alarm system to deploy those compulsions, you know, to instantly try to make yourself feel better.

Well actually you know you do start to feel better because you're allowing yourself to feel again and i really can't overstate how important that that is the third point i want to to make today is actually about the paradox of of ocd and and that is really in order for us to to truly start overcoming ocd you know first of all we kind of have to embrace the fact that we do struggle with Now, you know, this acceptance is a paradox.

It really does involve us letting go of this kind of relentless pursuit of wanting to feel better. You know, in order for us to actually bring that true acceptance and to really kind of surrender to the fact that we do struggle with it. Because when we can do that, actually, it gives us this sense of liberation. When we're no longer looking, you know, to always kind of get over OCD, we actually bring more acceptance to it.

And then lo and behold, the irony is that we do actually begin to get over OCD. We do begin to feel better.

You can kind of imagine it this way if you like. Imagine a tightly clenched fist with each finger representing the different compulsions and obsessions and rituals that might consume your kind of everyday life. Now the instinct that we have with OCD is to kind of clench tighter to gain more control but But really, the secret to overcoming it involves, you know, kind of letting go a little bit, actually unfurling that grip.

And, you know, it's in acknowledging the presence of the fist, the tension and the discomfort, and then choosing to kind of open that hand slowly to the possibilities of acceptance, you know, that actually we really begin to carve out a path to having more peace from OCD and actually beginning to kind of leave it behind. And it's so important that we learn how to do this. And I know it's an incredibly difficult thing to do.

It's very easy to say, hey, this is what you need to do. You need to kind of accept this paradox of OCD. But it can be so frustrating because, Because of course, you know, there's a part of you that's going to be thinking, well, but I just want to get rid of it. I just want it gone because then I can be happy. And so why do I have to kind of, you know, truly try to accept that I do struggle with it? Of course, you know, it is difficult to do that.

But really, when you start to practice that and you start to experience it yourself, you know, it does begin to change your perspective on things. And you tend to have a bit more willingness to sit with the discomfort, you know, and you tend to have a bit more courage to meet, you know, some of the exposure activities head on.

You know, it's about recognizing that the kind of constant battle against OCD, the endless cycle of resisting and fighting against our thoughts and behaviors, you know, actually that only fuels the fire.

Desire the real battleground is within you know where the fight actually turns into this kind of open embrace and this is why i speak so much about the importance of self-compassion because when we're kinder to ourselves when we just are able to say yeah you know what i do struggle with ocd and you know what sometimes the anxiety gets really bad so be it that's okay it's not it's It's not the worst thing. I know it's awful. It's terrible.

But, you know, I do struggle with it and I'm not going to beat myself up for that anymore. I'm going to do what I can despite the fact that I struggle and I'm going to get on anyway. You know, and when we bring that kind of, you know, that kind of mindset, things begin to improve. And this doesn't mean, though, that you're resonated to OCD or you're defeated by it.

It's quite the opposite. it is actually a kind of powerful act of self-compassion as i was just talking about there and and really understanding it's really about acknowledging that while ocd may be part of one's life it doesn't have to define your life you know really what should be defining our lives is you know are our our values as i talk about a lot as well this is why acceptance acceptance acceptance commitment therapy is so helpful, I think, for OCD.

When we lift up our heads and we focus on our values. You know, that really does help with what I'm talking about here of kind of accepting that paradox because we choose to focus on our values instead of avoidance of our fears. We choose to kind of get back into our lives today and start taking action towards our goals, despite the fact that maybe we're not feeling the way in which we want to feel right now.

And when we start doing that on a regular basis, well, often those good feelings, they begin to show up more and more in your life. And suddenly you realize that it's been a whole day and you've barely been paying attention at all to the obsessive thoughts. And gradually over time, things really do begin to improve. So there we go, guys. Those are three things that I think are really important

when it comes to kind of getting over OCD. They've been really helpful for me and are on an ongoing basis. So please let me know what you think. I would love to hear about your thoughts and your opinions about this. If you have any questions at all about anything I've spoken about today, do please let me know. And also if you would like to head over to youtube and follow and like the podcast there that would be fantastic as well so many thanks guys and i will see you next time.

Just a quick reminder if you would like to book yourself a free session then you can all you need to do is to head over to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and there you can use my calendar to book yourself that free session. You just need to find a time and date that works for you and book the session there. And now just a quick reminder of my disclaimer.

Any information that you view on my website, Instagram page, Facebook group or anywhere else online or any Any information that you listen to on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor, psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional.