Crossing the Abyss w/ Nick on Prometheus Lens

a month. You could have an ad free listening experience. Hey, guys, With all that junk out of the way, man, let's dive into the fun stuff and the meat of the matter. I have a great conversation for you lined up today. We're gonna take a hero's journey through the abyss.

But for the most part, now in pretty much the same thing that the channel always did, cover the occult and true crime and some paranormal, but we definitely focus a lot more on the occult, obviously because it's the Occult Rejects, and mainly due to myself. Originally when the show started, I was an ex member of the Auto Temple Orientus and I was with somebody who was at X Golden Dawn. So again, you know, cult rejects. We

both have experience in secret societies. I myself is you know again, is the only X that I know of ex secret society member in the Cult Rejects now, but again I do have that, I guess as a part of my resume. I was in the OTO, did a couple of degrees and left, so but yeah, that's basically what the O cult rejexes. Thank you.

lot of details. Uh but far as like the ot O in the Occult and things like that, I am completely ignorant, and I'm sure there's many people I will still showed that or in the same boat you know, so it's like, if you don't care, just you know, explain a little bit to us, you know, what is the ot ouh and just kind of how you got involved in that, and just kind of dip our toes in man.

oh wow, you're putting our secrets out there. This is the story, you know, And then they somehow get in touch with him and they end up like handing over the order to him, and he puts his Book of the Law kind of like as their you know, I guess religious text and changes the degrees, knocks them down to like thirteen. There was like thirty something like Mason's and you know, basically it kind of like it turned

it over to like a thlemic magic type thing. But yeah, originally it was it was a Masonic order.

which is interesting, you know. And the Gnostic Mass is even based off in the Russian Orthodox uh Church, so I mean some of their rituals. So but uh, yeah, it was a secret society started by hand. I know a lot of people. You hear Alison Crowley, You're automatically going to say, oh, sex magic if maybe Fortunately I probably because of the people there, I never had to really be exposed to any of that. That's that part

of my story. And I don't know if I really wanted to have sex with anybody in that order anyway, but uh, just unfortunately but I will say when it comes to the Gnostic Mass my experience, that gives some people some juicy stuff to talk about. I know, they always love this stuff. Uh you will see titties, you know, boobies will come out. So that was uh the first time I went, and even the reason I got into it. I guess maybe I should back up a little bit.

I was highly into conspiracy theories when I got into you know, already around two thousand and ten. I started getting heavy into that stuff, and I was huge into like David I, Jordan Maxwell, Michael Tassarian, who was the other guy, Mark Passio obviously, all people who touch on the occult a lot, you know, and symbolism. So I think maybe just due to that and that stuff kind of quote my attention, I went straight into like kind

of looking into that stuff as well. When it came to conspiracy theories, you know, orders, what kind of magic this and that, it was very intrigued by it. And this is just for me. At one point, when you know, I'm listening to this stuff for years now, I'm like, I really still don't know what the hell magic is, and I'm like I'm like chasing all these orders like this one came from there, this one came from here, this person was running it, this person was running that.

But I'm like, I still don't understand anything, like what are they actually doing? And I was like, maybe I can just like join one of these things and I'll just find out for myself what the hell's magic. And even at this point, once I thought it. Once I thought of that, I started even buying books to start learning to practice before I decided where it was going

to go. And I started to, Uh, basically, the books that I had were very much kind of like Golden dorn Athalmic influenced, and uh, that's you know, those are like a little bit more structured. So that's I think that's kind of why I was even you know, that appealed to me. So my first thought was like, oh, I'll just look for a golden doorn. There wasn't anybody me.

I knew a few freemasons, and they had told me that if I wanted to practice magic, Freemasonry wasn't if I wanted to do it right away, that wasn't the place to come to. They said, you're gonna have to wait a long time, and hope you even go up, you know, in certain certain degrees to even get to the I said, all right, screw that. I was like, yes, I'll look for the OTO, and again, like I thought, I'll put it this way. I I thought Crowley was a cult genius. But again, I mean that guy who

knows if he was a degenerate. I mean, it's just it's stories about them like that. So I wasn't really because of that, and just wondering what kind of type of people might be brought to the place. I just wasn't too interested. But I was like, that's it's my only option. When I googled and found out there was one twenty minutes away, so I was like, I guess that's my only choice. So I found them online. These places are not hard to find at all. They all

have websites. They'll tell you where their lodges are, their temples, oasises, or camps, and they'll somehow some I'll probably have some sort of social media that will give you a scheduling or let them let you know what's going on. And there was two HOOTI lodgeses out in Queens, New York. I found their site or whatever, and there was a

Gnostic mask coming up in a few weeks. So I emailed them and told them I was interested in coming, and they said, uh, yeah, the day of or what are you know, closer to it because I was asking for one weeks or weeks later. They said, we'll give you directions and you can come come through. So all right, so I hited them up, got directions, went there, and yeah, I went to the nast masks, and again I said, uh,

everything was kind of normal. I thought everything because I had already watched the Gnostic Mass too on YouTube, so that was another thing. I was like, you know what, I'll go to something I already knew what I was expecting, kind of not thinking this is on YouTube, so there's no boobies. So so when they came out, I was like, yo, whoa, whoa, what's going on? I was like this, This wasn't the one I watched this yo, And I shit, you not shits. You know. The first thing to go through my head.

I was like, oh my god, I was watch I was like, here we go. I was like, oh, if anything else weird happens, I'm gonna be a bit and I'm gonna leave. Yeah, like I'm out of here. Yes, sorry, but it's not. This is what I thought I started up for. And that was the only like it stopped there, and I guess it was not bad enough to stop me from coming. And I ended up probably going for about another six years after that and did a couple

of degrees. But I will say the next thing I went to was a class on candle making or candle magic. It wasn't another Gnostic mass, yet I still had to get over that initial shock. It sounds crazy, but it is. I'll even say the whole time I was in the Order, at one point I even started getting involved in the mass where I was actually like participating in it. I'd be one of the one of the childs that goes around with like the incense or the water and the

soul you follow, you follow people. I would do that because at the point when the priestess takes well for top, I'm actually facing everybody else. I'm not even looking at her, like I literally because I was like, this is still weird. Years later, I was like, if I do the child I don't have to look at her. I was like, oh, will work, and and then I'm doing something in the order and they'll get off my back, you know, so

it'll work. I worked out fine, so but uh yeah and then and then yeah, that's how I got involved.

Every once in a while if they had a closed If they had a closed thing, that still meant that like if you were minerval again, you still had to do an initiation, and that means like you're half in and half out. You really didn't take your first degree yet,

but you're allowed to come to the closed meetings. You could still go to those, but uh, every once in a while they would if they did certain sometimes and I think it was silly because like there's even people in the order saying like this, should this really be a closed meeting? But sometimes like uh, stuff on certain rituals which really aren't. Like again, if you if you were to like listen to me even read it, you'd

be like really, like you can't. I don't know. You know, sometimes certain things on planetary magic, but uh, a lot of it, believe it or not, is open to the public, especially if you've got the five dollars. You know that they're asking for a donation. I'm sure they'll let you. There's a little box in there. You're a little five or ten dollars in there if you don't mind.

ain't even more uncomfortable. You just had your fucking tits out. Now you're talking to me. I'm like, I'm like, I saw your tits before we even had a conversation. This is just weird. Whatever it's right or wrong, I don't know. It's just weird. And uh. And so like she was like talking about like joining and like giving you the paperwork, and like I was like, all right, yeah, I took it, but I was I'm not worried about like asking anybody

right now. And uh, I think it was the next time when I it was either the next time when I went to the candle class or after that. I was like, you know what, since there's other things here, because they would even do like history classes on certain people, So I'm saying this place actually did a lot of stuff. I was like, you know what, I could try to check it out, and there was there was a lot of people there that I had noticed were into a lot of different things. Now with the OTO and Thalma's

something I might add. You could be like to Norse, Egyptian, Sumerian. I mean, you could be in just so many different things. But as long as you kind of identify her uh Crowley's ideas, I mean, you're you're welcome. I mean, even if you don't, you can fake the fucking hang out anyway, you know what I'm saying. But it's very open to

give you like your own beliefs. So there was a lot of people there that practice many different things, and I was like, this might be interesting for me to hang around and just so I know I have people to talk to and to learn from or to figure out, like what's this and what's that? So, uh, I asked for them ENRBAL paperwork. I got it signed by two people, and even though it only takes about six months, they say to wait. After that, it took me a fucking year and a half. They made me wait to take

them minerval. Eventually I did.

months for them even dent the teeny from minerval. I think after you took monarvel, you out to wait another year to do the first degree, and I think between the first and second it might have been a year or a year and a half, and then the same thing. Then it's like a year a year and a half after that, and then something important to add. Once you get to the fourth degree, you considered a perfect magician,

perfected magician. After that you have to be like shoulder tapped as they would call it, or they have to ask you if you would like to go any higher. After that, you can't ask anymore, Okay, So I even do think, yeah, and I think at that point there's gonna be reasons why they pick you anything, you know.

I do think that there is certain beliefs. I don't want to say gender because it gets a little you know, it sounds crazy, but I do think there's they have I think they have a mission, but that way, they have something that they're trying to accomplish. If even if

it's just like weird science shit. I think it's a little worse, but I do think that they have an underlying mission that they're trying toccomplished, especially when you saw looking at the higher up degrees, sounds like a lot of like, in my opinion, like moonschild type stuff like homo oculus playing with people's you know, the homo oculus mm hmm. And you know again that to interrupt you like real quick. But again, if you're the perfected magician

at four, you're a magician already. What's after that? This is all add ons and what you're into and where you're going, what you're played working with.

or what I was doing was changing over time. Originally when I joined it was more or less like I want to try to That sounds cheesy, but whatever, but I try to stay out of the matrix and out of like the other people's manipulation and just try to like you know, remove my own way and just have

an easier life. And then I did think that like there was something there to maybe like help, uh I just you know, help get things or to help empower yourself at least and then eventually at some point I think more when I believed that when I started getting into the Kabbala, I got more into a lot more of like theorgy or actually God and thinking that it was much more of an inner thing to work on to to change myself, to change the world around me.

So like it was a lot more believing, not more maybe like syco analytic, you know, why do why I have these habits, you know, praying to God, you know, asking this and that. So like I had at one point near the end before I started having magical experiences, I did think it was just like very more mental and just trying to have like a very powerful connection with God and living a better life and more balanced which then would bring you, you know, I guess, more

fruitful things in your life. So I wasn't necessarily aiming at that. I was really more just focusing on myself. I was big into meditations, a lot of meditations. I meditated a lot. I did a lot of breath work throughout all these years, a lot of visualizations when I meditate, I would meditate certain you know, uh shapes with different colors, all things that have suggested as a magician to do.

And I think these these small basic things, I think actually are really the most important, which is why I'm just mentioning a few of them. Again, I was very much into rituals. I did the I learned the Lesser banishing ritual of the Pentagram. I've done, the Greater hex the Greater Ritual of the Pentagram, the Lesser Ritual of the hex Hexagram, the Greater Ritual of the Hexagram, the star Ruby, labor rush. You know a lot of those things are in the Golden Dorn or like oto. I

did a lot of that. But right before, my opinion, whenever I started having these magical experiences that I'll get into, these all happened just from meditating. Actually, I didn't do any rituals and I and I wasn't even smoking weed then. I didn't start smoking weed again until COVID happened because I was like, yo, if I gotta go and deal with these crazy motherfuckers, I gotta get stolen, Like I can't walk into the supermarket with like it's like dripping

with anxiety. I gotta get blown out and just not paying attention. You know, I'm just like, I'm watching a guy walk down the aisle with a Master of a Puppet shirt on and a face mask on. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Like? Yeah, even when I swear to God, I went up to the kid, I said, you realize what you're wearing? Yeah?

day I was meditating. I had had a weird experience prior that I did do a ritual in but it was not as intense and it was more of just like, uh, I was like sitting there meditating in the middle of the ritual, and it just it's like some reason I had like this flash of this image before me of me like inside, I thought it was a pyramid, and it just seemed like to go on for a few

seconds and then left. But it weirded me out, We'll be honest, So weirded me out enough to where that's why I didn't wasn't doing a ritual the next time. I smessed around because I was like, maybe I should chill out because I don't know what the fuck that was. But it was extremely realistic in my view, Like it was just like if I had my eyes closed and somebody turned the h D TV on inside my head. I was like, oh, that's weird.

you know, take it easy. Uh. And I think it was a couple of days later, maybe a week later, because like I said, it did weird me out. Actually, I went to go do some meditations and I'm sitting in my chair and I have like different things that I would used to do. Sometimes it just visualize energy going you know, throw me into the ground or going back up up to the sky. Do stuff like that, move move stuff around, and then start focusing on chakras.

And if anybody's big into chakras, like really big into it, some people say, and I will say it for myself. You can feel them like a little spinning Tasmanian doubles. And I would feel the one that's on my third eye, and I was you always hear about your third eyes. So I was like, I'm gonna push on it. That may sound crazy when you mean to push on it, but like I with the third eye, when you feel it, I feel like you can actually like focus on it

and push on it. I had my eyes closed, and I was already meditating, probably for a minute now, so at this point, and I don't know if you meditate or people listening to meditate, you may understand what I'm saying. Like when you first close your eyes and so I meditating, if you get into a meditation ten to fifteen minutes later, the darkness is way darker than it was when you first closed your eyes. That may sound like weird, but it to me it is. So it was already dark,

you know. I was already like kind of like everything around me. It was like I wasn't paying much mind to it. It was really with my eyes closed and pressing on my Pineo gliane because I could feel it. And then all of a sudden, like it looks like like I guess, oil like coming up out of black pavement. Like it literally looked like the black was now oozing out even darker black, and around it almost looked like these fine lines of almost like ultra violet coloring like

on my thermal cam or or I guess rainbow. But it was like these fine burning fluorescent like kind of different colors coming around it, and then like just all turns completely black, and I'm like, oh, I just getting weird. So I'm like I'm still holding it now, and then all of a sudden, I see this pin dot show up, like this little burning It looks like a old burning star.

I've actually wondered if that's what the whole blazing star with all the cur is about, this one burning bright dot and it looks like it looks like and it actually feels like it's gonna be crazy. You have your eyes closed, but you swear, I swear you could feel like there was an actual distance, even though it's you're only in your head, Like it looks like it is

like the actual distance and stuff in between. As crazy as that sounds, it almost looks like the darkness actually is dark matter around this burning thing, and it's it's like piercing. And then like I was like holding onto it, and then it's like if I kind of like let go of, like pushing a little bit, I noticed it would almost start to move or go away, and I was like, oh wait, I almost realize I got to kind of like focus on it and push on my panial.

Then at the same time, and at this point, I'm realizing and I have to do it every time you almost kind of go cross side where you're actually like pushing your eyes up towards your pineal gland and like focusing on this dot with my eyes closed, and it's like it it's like top gun. It locks into it and it just fucking holds it there like some heat seeking missile. And it starts to turn into this white dot and it starts coming closer and then eventually turns

into an eclipse. This white dot looks like all this black stuff starts to swirl around into the middle and becomes like a black circle within a white one, and it looks like an eclipse. And then uh, after that, all of a sudden it sucks. I'm pushing on it and I'm holding it. I'm like, oh, this is wild, Like I'm like crazy, thing is it's like to me, I'm just like I guess I'm like getting like some like free I'm thinking I'm actually I'm in my mind. I'm like thinking my brain is making all this up.

So like I'm thinking like I'm just getting like a free show out of this. Like I swear to god, I actually wasn't thinking too deep with this, which could be another reason why I didn't freak me out at first, because I wasn't like, ah, this is, you know, no big deal. Because I have heard some people who actually get if they're telling the truth kind of had somewhere at the same experience as me. They get a little

freaked out near the end. I don't know, but uh so for me, like I see this this eclipse, and then all of a sudden it looks like explosions like around it, almost like and then they start to like turn wore red, and then they start looking like roses almost blooming, which is which is why I have that on my logo, the eclips with the roses around it, to take the image that I've seen. So now it starts to look like roses blooming, which is another thing.

Real quick, you have to get off the topic. Alison Crowley, he had a girl named Rose. He has a book called The Vision and the Voice. The Vision in the Voice. The notes for that book before he published it is in a library in Texas. Lisa has from the Ecoregions has gone down there and actually looked at these handwritten notes and taking pictures of them. There's without a doubt there is proof in that book that that guy uses

rose not for that girl's name. It shows you the jamatri and it shows you him even figuring out way to put it inside the sentence to add to other stuff. So I do wonder if the rose has anything to do with that, or even why the rosa Cruscians focus on this rose that you see. So you see this bigger clips and you see all these roses look like the first thing around it, and then those go away, and all of a sudden, like all this spiraling starts

coming out of the four cardinal directions. And when it first starts, I will say it starts to it looks like a spinning swastick at first, and then it looks like all the lines spinning out start verberating, and it almost looks like a camera lens kind of you know how it has like the spiral those things so also look like that. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very well. Put Yeah, that might be a better way for me to explain the next time, especially with the abyss. Yeah,

it looks like the reviberating water. Wow, that's wild. Yeah, So then I have that, and then all of a sudden it will start going into like these geomat it looks like sacred geometry shapes. To me, it's just like all these different types of like things like spinning and flashing and like almost coming towards you, Like it's like a fucking video game or something. And then after that is this is where I have my logo. I had Mario designed the logo that we have for the Occult

Rejects based on Mario from Symbolic Studies. Based on this vision. Uh, everything goes away from the eclipse. It's us to get a little bit closer, and then it starts to look like and I had him design it as like movie

the movie movie cells, like from a movie reel. Yeah, but what it looks like to me that or if I was standing in like a subway or a train station and I had two trains passing me at the same time, or if there was movie reels coming but it's going slow and all you see is like either the car windows or the movie cells going past you real slow. It's like and it's all different visions, none of them the same. I'll be honest with you. I've I've looked into one and never I have this feeling

I think you can go into it. And I know this is gonna sound crazy and sci fi and fantastical if you can. I wasn't gangster enough to do it, so I'm not trying to sound cool by making this up. I do think that's possible, but like it to me, it's different scenes and some look like it's possibly the future the past. Now I don't know, but that when I did ever really pay attention to them, I did notice that. But and again like steel pictures, yeah yeah,

nothing's moving, Yeah, nothing's moving. It almost looks like it looks like it and they're all in Sepia, all in Sepia color. That's another thing too. Whenever once I get to this, uh, that's like it's like if you ever see something where it looks like it has like they throw like a brown Tinge effect on it. Oh, just like your logo. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay. I was actually gonna say I use a lot on some of my thumbnails because of that reason.

like cellophane too. It's it's very I'm that again. I'm not trying to like claim that I'm understanding what people are saying, but I have questioned if this is John Lennon's cellophane skies you talk about loosening this guy with diamonds, because it looks like the cellophane windows with all these different visions in them. And one time I was interested in it. And you know, again my view like I'm not there physically, I'm just it's like I'm watching something

or I'm just witnessing something. And this one time I was somewhat interested in one of the things. Normally, it's like I see them go and I just really don't pay much mind. I'm so stuck on those clips. Yeah yeah, yeah. Then normally I'm just like, whatever, what's happening next? You know? And uh so one of them, like I felt like I was interested in it, and like literally my view even changed where it's like I turned sideways and hovered towards it and I was looking in the window and

I joke about it every time I say it. But like I'm being serious, it's like, you know, is that Arizona or like post you know, uh nuclear war? You know, just looks like desolation. And I'm thinking in my head, I don't know if this looks like a cool place to go to. And as soon as and this is another thing, as soon as I start thinking itself, I come right out of it. So as soon as I started thinking I don't think I want to go there, I woke up. Every time I get now when I go fall.

and we'll love of that. It looks like this big smiley face, like the cheshire Cat's like smiling right at you, this big fucking shining grin, and then it starts to raise up more, and then you see the whole sphere of the black pull away from the white and this is this hovering white light. And now this whole time, I am pushing on my pineal gland. And at this moment, all of a sudden, I start feeling everything in my

toes like it's like as if it's like disappearing. Like by that time time I feel a raise up to my knees. Below my knees, they're gone. I don't feel anything, and I start feeling it rising up even more and more. It still it feels like it's starting to like build up, like in my chest and in my head. And then at that moment, all of a sudden, like it starts to look like like it's like you look down the

bower of a gun and someone pulled the trigger. This thing just goes and now me pushing really hard, all of a sudden, it feels like somebody just swung and punched me right in the fucking head, like it switched polarity or something. And then all of a sudden, I feel everything in my body go out the top of my head where you put a yamaka. Every time, it's

always in that same spot. Uh. It almost feels like like you literally feel like you're slipping out, You're slipping out and and like everything is melting off of you. And then as soon as I come out, it's like, I feel like like a million butterflies. First thing, and getting pulled out like an old direction is the most weirdest and again the weirdest feeling. And I've only ever felt these feelings in this situation. That's another thing. I've never ever felt any of these feelings in my life

before except for magic. Like the feeling of it coming out and all that energy never before, and all of a sudden, it's just like it literally, and it's gonna sound crazy. It's almost like as if you're in a NASA picture but you're not there, but you're actually just like witnessing everything you feeling like you're just getting pulled through it, like you like even all that that, those

pink like roars and all that. I sounds corny as shit, but I saw that stuff out there, and it literally just feels like everything is just melting off of you. And listen, I've done drugs in the past, you know, I've done a lot of crazy shit when I was younger. I can tell you right now, no matter what drug I've ever done, no matter what the greatest sex I've ever had, this experience is magnified by that by a thousand.

No matter how much love I've ever thought I've had for a parent, family member, girlfriend, wife, this is a feeling of love that is something that I just can't even measure. And it's like I'm just happy existing and witnessing. And as soon as they start thinking like oh where am I boom, so I just kept writing it. Man, get worried. Worried not the feelings, but the visuals.

they got in front of me, he said. They voiced to me, he said, without words. It was like I could hear it. They had no mouth to speak, he said, But they said, and that's how you travel through the multiverse.

run was over, he said. I was like, no, no, no, no, give me another hit, Give me another hit, he said, And I couldn't, he said.

sailing because they said your blood is like syrup. And they're like, maybe you have this. They gave me some like health condition and they said, sometimes it just happens to people for no reason. And you know, I have to go and like get your blood filtered like once a month or no or something like that filtered, like you'd have to get a bag of blood or sailing

or something. They're like, so you know, school get checked After this long story short, when I went and got checked out with the next two months, my levels were fine and they're like, yeah, this was probably a freak thing, and I've been fine since then. That's what I'm getting at is this is something that was just to that situation. I had that issue with my blood and every time I do fuck with the stuff. And I've even a long time ago, I even posted a picture of my

eyes on Twitter. One eye will be pinned in the other wild on the I with the other eye will get bigger when I gets bigger and when I am small. Every time, even if I take myself too this is another thing. Sometimes I will take the meditation up until the point of the moving windows. If that starts to happen, I think of self and I pull myself out of it. But I am. I try to keep myself and just like hover and look at the eclipse, and it's some I do get in my opinion, I get some benefits

out of that just from doing that. If I open up my eyes, my pupils are going to be screwed up. It will probably last about a day or two. The first time when I went to the hospital, that shit was like that for about a month because I went two weeks later to an eye doctor and it was it was originally full millimeters dilated. When I went about two weeks later, it was two millimeters still dilated. And lady even said, there's nothing wrong with your sight though.

what you mean by that? With Horace, he's a flies and he's a warrior, and of Horace is with the ot oh Man, you see I'm speaking, is like maybe you understand all this O t O. They do believe we are going into the air and of horse and Horace is like their main dude. Okay, you know, so like again he's he's a warrior, and he's he's flies and he's a bird. So technically you are in flight and fight mode at the same time. Mm hmm.

You have to conquer your fears and go into the unknown, and that's the chase. And yeah, and then he said, but you have to restore vision, you know, to the father, and the father is the wisdom. So the son is the courageous youth, the explorer, but you also need wisdom. You have to rule with courageous, you know, And fearlessness, but you also have to rule with wisdom, so you have to go into the abyss and give your eye a part of your vision to wisdom.

the prince has to become the king. If you notice you have at one point, if you put tarot cars on the kabbala the way that they fall, you know, as you're going up the tree, I'll even have the chariot following you. I mean, it's a it is a it is a story that's even showing you the hero's journey in my opinion, with Tarot and the Kabalistic tree, and it's the object is to become the king and to have to have that second sight or knowing and wisdom and knowledge.

to it. So what I'm getting at it is I could give you some books that is just basic, you know, educational stuff if you yeah, that's me.

fake the funk all day at that point. As being a Jew, you know what I'm saying, You're probably gonna know more about the religion than the Jewish person.

gonna have to destroy ways of thinking influences. You're really gonna have to like kill the demons in your own head. You know, you're gonna have to slay those motherfuckers and become free of the things that are binding you away

from having an experience with God. And I do think in a sense it didn't get too much into a prior but like I actually think that if you do really cross the abyss, you are technically kind of actually having that experience of death and rebirth like literally, you know, I do think there is pretty much a death involved, like literally, So I do think again like the Hero's journey, it's like the whole death and rebirth that like fighting

to the end. Uh. A lot of times when you see people's like these heroes win, it's just as if they went against all odds or they should have actually have died, like you know, you shouldn't have left. But I do think it's it's very much, very much even the cheesy way, and it's not much of the hero's journey, but very much like Michael Myers or even Freddy Krueger.

You're gonna to slay and kill everything that's that's that that's that comes in your way, even if it has to do with you dying at the end, you know, because you're going to have to give up the flesh regardless. Yeah, so you're going to kill everything if you're if you're willing to technically know that you're giving up possibly your life to slip out of your meat skin. You are kind of, in my opinion, slaying all the things that are in your life that bind you to want to

be here. Because if you know I may not come back, you have to give all that up. And in my opinion, that is like you're killing these things in your mind. They have no they no longer live in here and hold you here. Because for the Christian context, I mean, you even have that in the Bible. It talks about you know, sacrificing your flesh, yeah, you know, and Jesus talking about you know, you must be reborn. You know. My opinion, I think that's what and spirit I think

Jesus chrusty abyss. I think that's exactly what he did. I think he was an og and he wanted to tell everybody else is you can have this experience to man's. But that's why, just why, I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't knock Jesus either. I actually put them up in very high regards, even though I am an ocultist.

You know the abyss three days later comes out on the other side. So I mean, just from a literal standpoint, you know, he he died, resurrected, came back, and was reborn. But you can also, uh, that has multi layers. I mean you could definitely look at that on a metaphysical side and a spiritual side too.

to all these other religions. You know, I'm not now me from my perspective, you know, you know, Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, you know, because all the religions you know pointed Jesus and say, you know, either he was a prophet or ascended master. You know, they all religions point to the man in acknowledging, but when you get to him, he points.

the second degree, not I don't think it was right. Yeah, I think it was right after actually, and I did them with I did it with two other people. They let you know, going forward, other degrees and maybe certain things that you can either do as a what's up where like volunteer and things that would be maybe needed for you to move on and take that degree. And I don't remember if it was the seventh or eighth one. Well, at one point and I heard it for sure, what

you're gonna sign over everything to the OTO. WHOA what? I'm like, looking at my boy Jordan, who just took the ship with me, I'm like, yo, this is a cult now, Like they just told this, this is a cult. Fucking great, dude, fucking spend years it just they just told me, now, this is a cult. If I stay that long. I mean I did stay a little bit

longer knowing that this. Even at that point, I'll be totally honest with you, I really knew it wasn't a place for me to stay because I'm getting don't get into this bar too now is extremely left, far left m hm. And at the time it was run around, all that shit was popping with you, you know, let's burn everything down, BLM. George Floyd, COVID, all that craziness they started. Well, first off, when COVID came, they settled with the CD

They fucking knelt to the CDC. Okay, we'll close. Well, Jesus has got his doors open, but fucking horse is too scared. What the fuck's going on here? You know? Then he whatever. Then they started doing Zoom meetings. I'm like, you know what, I haven't even been there in about six months. Anyway. I was like, yo, I'll go to a few Zoom meetings because they don't have to technically

say anything. And you know, you know again COVID nothing as much was going on anyway, So I was like, oh, I just jumping on a Zoom meeting and listen to them read a book or do this, do that. And like one day we got an email saying if we wanted to talk about the whole George Floyd situation, and I'm like, well, first off, this has something to do with the magic. This isn't an OTO thing like the ot O literally is just like the AA. We have

nothing to say about anything except for the the OTO. Well, fucking George Floyd has nothing to do with the ot unless he was in it, not claiming he was, but you know what I'm getting out, like, why are we talking about this? So I was like I gotta jump in on this thing just for shits and giggles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yo.

It turned into like something like group therapy type thing where it's like talking about like how it was horrible, and everybody got to take their turn if they wanted and go around the room all this, you know, whatever the zoom and and tell your story about like your racism, you know, dealing with racism. And I was like, oh

my god. And then at the end they start to ask if people want to, like, uh, get together for like protests, Yeah, protests, and uh I was like, Yo, this is the promoting the fucking left is Yo.

I'm literally just kid, but a real. You got one black dude in the whole fucking group and we got to talk about George Floyd racism incident, for an hour and the crazy thing is, so what I'm saying now is that now the rest of this whole group is all white. Motherfucker's going on about what this was silly? It was, there was something, it was something weird there.

And then even another thing I had found out when I this was another thing I found out when they were talking about for the degrees, for the second degree, you could sign up for some sort of like volunteer thing or you talk to like the I think it's a beta. Fuck, I've already forgot the guy's name, Himus whatever. Tell you that was the head guy, the head of the OHO, the outer head. Uh, you talk to him. I thought it was gonna be once a month and just give him updates. You go on Skype and give

him updates about how the lodge is doing. I'm like, all right, this is easy. I do something twelve times a year, and I did it for a year. That's that's my service, and you'll leave me the fuck alone. It's plain and simple. I was playing on the so I just want to go speak to the other person that's there who was doing it that their time was ending, and like, oh no, that's every week. I'm like, Yo, what the hell does this dude need to know what's

going on in this place every week? I'm like, this motherfuck is looking for something or you want, Like I'm my giving you, like you're basically reading the lodge for you and letting you. Like I just was just like, this is.

crazy thing too. It's like I don't know if you've ever heard them, Like you was like, oh, ninety three or ninety three is always associated with the Limo and Alice the Crowley. Uh you know, it breaks down to a gape, you know, stuff like that. It's numerical value of stuff. Uh.

coming from? Because you didn't get my fucking answer, and I'm guarantee you didn't get Jordan's anything to at Jason's because we all would have said fuck you, and it wouldn't have been at ninety three percent. It would have been higher already because it wasn't that many actual members who had to say that would at least been at least ten percent right there. So I know you're fucking lying. And you said this was in New York, right yeah,

yeah queens, Yeah, and he's another dude. There's a plenty of dudes there that would have been like, no, that's fucking crazy to where that would not have been ninety three percent if we all got asked. So you fucking lied.

the PDF for it. One of the last rituals that does talk about fucking around with the homoculus and trying to put a demon back in there before the ego, putting a demon in there before the ego comes back. So I do think you're actually fucking around with like putting things into people's heads of their brains, like pulling out. Maybe if somebody had a magical experience, let me show

something else in there before they come back. I don't trust that ship sounds like I'mkultra is something weird or people have a magical I'll have my magical experience at home. I don't need you motherfuckers around me. I don't know who the fuck you want. I don't trust that shit. No, I'm not doing that. A clip sitting.

Crowley himself, you know, to stay here. I was like, I think this is like enough now I think I can leave.

of you like traveling uh through Heliopolis. I think you are, you're traveling to Heliopolis. Whatever. The first one is a lot of like, uh, how does it start off? Sorry? There you come in, You do a lot of like believe or not. You will go around in circles. They'll be normally one person or two people running it, and then there's like three people considered like soldiers I think, or like kind of like you know, people guarding the camp.

They take you to the camp, they start asking you, like, you know, if you believe in this and that or if you want if you're interested into the Book of the Law and learning all this and that, and they ask you what's your will? What you're doing here? Why are you even passing? You know all this stuff. Uh. Then eventually you will go from one part of the the initiation to where there's it's like I guess like curtains kind of from like you know, uh, you're a

movie theater. They pull it open. You go back there and now there's like everybody else from the lodge that came to even watch it too, U is back there and there's they give you the Book of the Law. You sit down and you're supposed to read the Book of the law way other people are doing the initiation,

and they have have like uh like snacks. They have like like crackers, like oh, berries or nuts, like a lot of things that are actually grown on you know, like a grown like a nat you know, berries, uh raisins, nuts, figs. They'll have that, and then like cheeses, and they'll have people back there like playing like music on instruments and stuff. And you're supposed to just sit there and read the Book of the law where everybody else goes. And then they take you back out again. I mean again, this

is a long time ago. I'm trying to give you somewhat of an idea. But like even in the in this ritual, and this is the most important thing that I would like to say actually about Minerval And I've even played this off in one of my logos. There is a tent.

a down on two waists. I think that's that's either mi nerval the first one. And then there's like even a uh. And then there's a way to greet people that they will teach you too. This is all near the near the order, at near the end of the initiation. This one, you put out your thumb. The other guy will come up to it and pump it four times three times one two, three, four, one two through four one two, three, four and twelve for a total of twelve.

They do that, and then they will tell you. The word that you are going to be told now is a word for God, and the name for that is on oh n Now. The tent, my opinion, is the optic nerve, which is one of the twelve cranial nerves and part of this initiation is you're actually watching how light perception that's coming from your eye out into this world. You're actually falling from inside your head out into the light of this world. That's why I think they're going

with these degrees. But my important thing is I'm trying to get is that, in my opinion, that tent is the optic nerve, and they I do believe that, as silly as it sounds, I know makes Crowley sound a little bit more educated than he is. Do you think this dude was into the eyeballs in the brain and he does show that shit and stuff. And I think what I'm just trying to get at is, I do think that that tent looks a lot like the optic nerve,

depending on how you look at it. And you pump they say on they're even the O n and then they pump your finger twelve times and it's one of the twelve cranial nerves. There is too many coincidences to me.

give you is the Holy Bible, you know. If you're a Muslim you get the Qoran, you know, or vice versa.

one and the first one. Besides walking around with the de lease and everything, they're gonna sticky into something and act like it's a coffin and they're fucking closing it up on you in the first one, and yeah, you're supposed to sit in there for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that that is. I was like, oh, I've heard about this already, and I will even tell you this is

another thing. I had that book, The Secret Richinds of the Oto, prior to any of the initiations, so none of this was a surprise to me.

it's fucking weird. Man. The people that are doing the initiation with you can definitely see you with that candle around you and all the girl reading the shit to me. You see me standing there with my fucking dick hanging out like Which was the same chick that was the priestess when I came in the first time.

a lawyer. They have copy paste fucking things that they just send out to people whenever they want to slap them with. Oh, this is a copyright because that's the thing, believe it or not. As crazy as it sounds, this is how they get you for talking about the Initiations. It's copyrighted, Believe it or not. Somebody actually owns a real fucking book that has a copyright on this initiation, and that's how they hit you. You're reading copyrighted material.

You can't do this. Oh wow, that shit is fucking copyrighted. So again, even to get that sometimes you might have to talk and code because you really don't want to say what the fuck is saying to even get the copyright, because certain laws are not gonna let you say certain shit in the book, so you may not know what the fuck you're even reading.

was like, send me the paperwork. You have to actually ask for paperwork though without ahead has to send it to you. You fill it out, you send it back. I sent it back and I even got a lot of stating that, you know, it was good to go. And then when this copyright stuff happened about a month later, and it was right after I start, and I was like, Yo, some motherfucker must have been checking this show to see for a face, because I didn't start showing my face yet,

just because like honestly lack of technology. I think I was like literally like speaking into like a microphone into my computer, and that was it. When I first came out, I started showing my face. A couple of weeks after that, I got hit with a personal email from to Hoody Lodge telling me due to my breaking you know, the oats or whatever and talking about the initiations on the

Di Cult Rejects podcast or the n White Patriot podcast. Uh, We're gonna have to pass this up to like the higher ups, and you're gonna have to be put on like probation for now and they're gonna have to decide what they want to do. And then a couple of weeks letter I get a letter in the mail saying that I've been kicked out of the order. I was like, I thought I was already gone, your fucking retodd the yo. They didn't even spell lodge right log Yeah yeah yeah,

they said to hoody loaje. I was like yo. And then the crazy thing is is the guy signs it with like a handwritten mencil sigil at the bottom. I was like, yeah, fuck you, I'll toss that shit out. Yeah.

bomb and saying stuff about gay people. I so badly want to like post that stuff on Twitter and like tag all like the far left, Oh to yo motherfucker's and be like, what do you think about your Lord and Savior now saying this shit about these people? He wasn't a fucking left hard either, you all you know, Uh, you can't show it because the same chick that slapped me the DMCA is in charge of that book's copyright fucking laws. I'm like, fuck, I can't ask this chick

so tell me. Even if I want to cover it in a good sense, she probably wouldn't even let me, you know, just as educational, you know, because and but the same thing is, there's so much stuff in there that you would you'd be able to see, like what he's thinking about when you're writing that stuff, And it's a little bit deeper than I think most people would think. I'm not trying to give the guy credit, but like, I mean, you see pages of him doing math and

putting words there and trying to figure it out. Telling the editor I want this letter, uh, this letter of capitalized. I mean he's even like, you know, capitalizing letters in the middle of nowhere for reasons.

why believe it or not. A lot of them motherfuckers there thought that that ship wasn't really entertained. Like as we look at it as like the people running the world are into this shit, they actually believe it or not a lot of them didn't think that. So they're actually saying, how like silly that they actually it was more of like playing around, like oh yeah, the FBI even came here and realized like there's nothing much here,

Like there's nothing with this stuff. I'm like, yo, you think they left m they may still be here, oh you know, fucking Kevin is and we seem to just manulate. It's to infiltrate, you know, because that's what they do.

They infiltrate these biker gangs, all these different you know, organizations, because it's it's, uh, what's the word, I'm looking for a mole, you know, it's it's an access line to these organizations in the very least, just to monitor and observe and know what they're up to in the very least. You know. I even question though, sometimes even from a inception as soon as Crowley took it over, because like I mean, I hate to say it, but I mean,

he was. He had a huge hand in giving us scientology as well, So you have to really start to wonder, like what he was. I do wonder if he was just into handing people's sy ups in a sense. You know, I'm trying to think of something else that he was involved in too that was actually really shady. But I mean him and Jack's Parsons and were hugely influential with al Ron Hubbard with scientology, right, So I mean you have to even look at that. It's just like, I

don't know, it's just my opinion. It may have been something at one point, but I do think, unfortunately, just my opinion, I do think it might be ran by well, you know, the Three Letter Agency. Now at this point, I think it might be very mk ultists or kind of like at least data mining, like just looking at people's behaviors and what they believe, how they act. Mm hmmm.

Very I don't I don't trust it because the thing is, after I had a magical experience, I don't feel like the vision that that place emulates matches a magical experience. If anything. I feel like, and again this could even be the people in the order itself. They highlight the handcuffs. So this makes no sense to me. You know, people like instead of like battling their demons, they look for reasons to like feed them in the Otoh, I'm working with my dark so you're fucking feeding into it. You're

enjoying this shit. This is a very opposite direction of where I was going. And it's just like, is that all really natural? Or is this by design? You know? And like again when you hear you gotta start signing. This is another weird thing. I had a guy that was on my show that was like pretty much around to who he lodged from Inception, which I think was like in the seventies. He knew James Wasserman, who was

the guy who started it. I had him on my show and he had even said, I don't know how high up he got and maybe for Allly Knowlwa's freestyle, and he said, I told him that I had somebody that was on my show that it was like an x tenth degree from the OTO. I gotta mentioned think, Oh, call Abrahams or whatever, it doesn't matter. He was on my show twice. I actually suggests people to listen to this show because I really didn't. I wasn't badgering him when he came on to talk about a book. But

he actually admits some really weird fucking shit. So go go look, listen to this guy show. We'll be like cal Abrahamson. It was one of his It was on one of his books. Yeah, the guy actually talks about working with the dude from the Processed Church Genesis p Orge, trying to make non binary people with surgery and rituals. I'm just like, yo, you just said what you know, because it was like you had to think like he

was on for a book. I know he's in a cultist, but I wasn't coming at him like a conspiracy theorist. I was like, all right, you know, you're another occultist.

Just talk about your book, you know. And so when he I guess he probably felt like, you know, totally open or whatever, and he just started saying that shit, I was like, wow, Brody, like that shit's really I'm like, wow, you just said that, you know what I mean a lot of people look at that like we all think that's real, that we all think that shit happens, But like somebody just fucking told me it's real. Now I'm just like wow, yeah, and you see it was like

nothing to him. Oh yeah, I was just like, whoa me. At least we're both like y they we're like both trying to like ask more questions about it without acting like we're like being nosy now because we're just like, what the did you just have no idea? Along? Yeah? Wait, you know what you're talking about a little more.

But if you go up to the tenth degree supposed to lead now everything that you've handed over in the seventh or eighth everybody who went higher and stayed lower, you own their ship now. Usually everybody like a partner in the organization. Yeah, became a pyramid scheme.

what I'm saying, right. Oh the other guy from uh oh man, the Typhoon, the typhony in order, Kenneth Grant, I mean like he met all Yeah, that was that was like his book was like I met all these three people and like, this is my story. So like when like the book company hit me up and I was like, oh yeah, this actually sounds interesting. I'll get them on. He drops that ship about Genesis p Origin trying to make non in binary people. I was like,

what the fuck? Yeah, damn dude, how was it ready? People? Gotta watch the video. You probably see Lisa's face like whoa like and like what do I say? Now? Yeah? I'm like, what's that phrase you used?

Studies and a couple of other people. We have a bunch of stuff up there like Jamatra ty Cabala Science I mean, and then we have like lists of other occultists from the past and even some episodes up we've done on the occult rejects we have turned to like took our notes and basically made posts on them. It's got tons of different stuff's on there by tons of different people. It's totally free. Go check it out. You know, if you're into reading, there's definitely stuff they'll learn. Occult

Research Institute dot org. That's it, thank you brother. Awesome. Well, I know you do a lot of lives.

I normally do something with Headless that could be anywhere between seven and eight thirty at night on Thursday nights, we do If anybody's got any interesting, weird, strange, power, normal occult stories, you can send him to Headless Giant Podcast at gmail dot com and we'll read about it on the show. And then we also cover like two glypts or a sigil like one each, real basic talking

about five minutes. He was like a sigil, some weird of cult alphabet or something that maybe people don't know about. This is who made it, this is what it means. Blah blah blah, And that's a short, informational and weird bill. Check it out Thursday nights. Thank you, nice, awesome, awesome check.