Hi, this is Michael Allred, comic book creator behind titles like Madman, The Ecstatics, and Silver Surfer. And you are listening to the Oblivion Bar podcast. Welcome to the Oblivion Bar podcast with your host Chris Hacker and Aaron Knowles. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 193 of the Oblivion Bar podcast. I am Chris Hager, one of your co-hosts here and joining me is my BFF slash combatant this week, Aaron Knowles. Sweep the leg. Sweep the leg. to hook the wrist, walk away. Grab my wrist.
My other wrist. You think everybody wants a frown house kick to the face when I'm wearing these bad boys? Go to to starlet night. Welcome back everybody to the Oblivion Bar podcast this week, Aaron and I, are doing our sixth installment in the Battle Royale segment.
You may have seen from the cover art before you clicked on this episode, but just as a quick refresher, we'll do some like actual rules here in just a moment, but Battle Royales, essentially Aaron and I pick five fictional, sometimes non-fictional characters, and we have to debate on who we think would win between those two fighters. And there will be random scenarios and all the things again, we'll get into it in just a moment, but Aaron. Massive debate.
Aaron as notoriously and famously a master debater. uh Best this side of the Mason-Dixon for what I understand. uh Mason Dicks But yeah, it's been, you know, it's funny, Aaron, when was the last time we had a Battle Royale? Was it like episode 90, somewhere in that range? I'm gonna let you look that up as I talk about it.
But yeah, every time it's like our favorite bit here on the podcast that we, every time we do one of these, which we love doing this, this is one of our favorite segments on the show. Roy's like, we need to not wait so long to do another Battle Royale. And it just keeps getting like a longer timeframe each time. 150 was number five. Okay, so not too bad. Only 40 episodes. Yeah, that's not we've got a lot of things since then, you know, talk to Robert Kirkman, David Dossmash and Lea Kilpatrick.
Brian Kayvon, a couple of things. There's been a cancer in there. A couple of moves of retirement. A lot of things. lot of things have happened since then, but. of uh colonoscopies. I've had at least three. I don't know how many you've had, but I've had three. you know, everyone go get checked out. That's all we're saying. That's what. Your butthole's checked. Everybody's got one. We're big believers here at the Abloving Bar. Go get your butthole checked, okay? Get those colons cleansed.
Every episode we say it every episode. Aaron, before we get into the Battle Royale, will you please let the people know if they for some reason like the first, you know, six minutes of this episode, or well, we've only been on talking for like three minutes. If people like these first three minutes of this episode thus far, tell them how they can support the Oblivion Bar podcast. Well, if you can tell how amazing we are within three minutes, then you know our love lives.
But if you want to support the Oblivion Bar podcast, consider checking out our Patreon for your support. You gain access to bonus episodes each week called The Grid. The Grid. And you also get a behind the scenes look at how we prepare each episode with our episode transcripts, Patreon polls, uh exclusive goodies. We have the newsletter, which you can... anybody can access to once you go on the Patreon. yeah, we love giving free shit away.
ah You know, you get inside news on some of the coolest upcoming stuff that we have, things that are going on with the show. It's just a cool way to support the show because you know what? We can't get better without you guys. Yeah, it's a nice community that we've built over there. lot of folks have, know, Aaron, we don't get a lot of turnover on the Patreon. A lot of people who join it in some capacity end up sticking around.
And if they do leave, they eventually come back in some way, which is. And we're looking at Brad Bell. We're looking at you. Appreciate everybody who comes over, whether again, it be free or ten dollars anywhere in between there, it comes to five and ten dollar tiers. So anything. In between there, we appreciate it. We appreciate people just listening to the show. But as Aaron said, we go ahead. What were you gonna say? We can say they can also give it a shot with the seven day free trial.
just go to patreon.com forward slash oblivion bar pod, or you can check out the link in the show notes. But remember nothing beats that four letter F word free. oh I was thinking of another four letter F word, uh speaking of being a four letter F word the last couple of weeks. Fast. Flee. Fact. Chicago Chicago shit Aaron, the last couple of weeks, I've been moving. you haven't? haven't. I couldn't tell from, know, the amount of posts that you've been posting.
Yeah, yeah, it's a it's been an endeavor. People who have been following the show for a bit know that I have many of books, many of posters, many of things. I would say just I am nothing if not a collector of things. And I have lots of it. So it's been an endeavor moved in with my partner, Olivia, who is a bright, shining light in my life. And it has been uh very fun, albeit sometimes stressful. uh It has been an endeavor and it's been.
We're finally turning down, I'll say like it's finally happening, which is cool. So are you? You turning down for what? What, know, just a little side track. Do you have any nicknames for Olivia? Do call it like Olive? ah No, I don't think we have any nicknames quite yet. We've been bouncing. We've been floating a couple, you know, we've got like Sex Panther. There's Boo Boo Titty Fuck there. was kitty fuck. you're going to quote the god damn it, Chris. Sorry. I just switched it up. Copyright.
know copyright. Wow yeah. Well, no, nothing yet. Why do you have any suggestions? Like I just, that feels, get on that. Get on that. Get on that. You need some nicknames, All right. Well, let's we'll I'm a ruminate. I'm to I'm going to take that advice. I'm to sit on it. OK, I'm to think about it. But before we get into the. Sit face sitter. There it is. We found it. We got a face sitter from now on. God no The one who sits, I don't know. Anyway, Aaron, let's stop deviating.
Let's get into our battle. You gotta call her the Maudib. Yeah, yeah, what are gonna do? Save the dunes? All right, everybody, let's get into our battle royale. This episode is brought to you by Oni Press. If you're craving for comics that defy the ordinary and a publisher that not only allows but encourages its creators to tell their story the way they want to, look no further than Oni Press, the loudest thing in color since 1997.
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Again, it's fun for us to discuss these things because we love a lot of these characters. We like just having a nice chat. I will say, selfishly, these episodes are a little bit easier to edit. They're a little bit more easy to just release and let people have fun with them. You're just happy because you fucking win more. I'm also leading this series thus far three to two. So it's up to you guys. Do you want to continue this streak?
And I think you should do this obviously, but like, do you want me to continue to be the king of this segment or do you want Aaron to tie the series up three to three? It's totally up to you, which is sort of the fun part about this is that we will debate and decide who wins these battles individually. But then the week that this episode comes out, go follow us over on social media at oblivion bar pod.
we will be posting these individual matchups and we'll be asking you, the listener and the follower, hopefully on social media, again, at Oblivion Bar Pod, who won these and your vote ultimately is what we decide. That's how we decide who wins these things.
So Aaron, I want you to quickly go over our Battle Royale rules and for everyone that if you've missed one through five, we will have it in the show notes of this episode in case you want to go back and listen to those other five installments. But Aaron, yeah, lay out the land, tell the folks at home how We generally do this. Welcome to the Battle Royale. Here are your rules. The fight will take place in an arena that has indestructible walls with no cover or shields for either participant.
The battlefield will be exactly 200 feet long and 85 feet wide, the same size as your standard professional hockey rink. Each fighter will only have whatever is on them based on their general inventory. For example, if you pick Peter Parker's Spider-Man, he would more than likely have his web shooters and his web gliders. They must fight to the death. They cannot send for reinforcements unless the battle scenario allows it. And there can be no ties.
Each battle scenario will have one specific spin to the match. For example, the battle takes place in the dark, has a large body of water in it, or the arena has no oxygen at all. That's right. And we have quite a few different scenarios in place that we're going to be spinning our magical color wheel. Twenty three different scenarios that we've gathered both from previous episodes.
So, you know, your zero gravities, your Pokemon style, Aaron, where you and I are in the stadium actually conducting these these battles like a Pokemon trainer. We've even done a mech type of uh fight, which will crash. I they'll crash to the top of that rank. That's generally the rule, right? Like they have to just keep that battle within that arena and they have to fight to the death. Those are like basically the two rules.
you know, being that Aaron and are the conductor of these battles in some way or another, we have broken these rules quite a bit. There have been ties, but, you know, we try not to do that. We try to stick to the guidelines of these particular fights. So, Aaron, how did you set up your team? Did you do you just have like a set list one through five of folks that you want to see in these fights? or how are you going about this? Are you going to pick it based on?
We're going to do the same thing we always do. We randomize our fighters. Okay, that's fair. All right, that's good. I like that. That's a good idea. Do you want to quickly just speed run through some of our previous battles? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what you do one through three and I'll do four and five and then we'll get into our battle round number six. All right. So Battle Royale number one, I'll let you know right from the beginning. Chris won that one.
Round one was was Ash Pikachu versus Master Chief. Round two was Silver Surfer versus Kirby. Round three was Kevin McAlister from Home Alone versus Clayface. Round four Swamp Thing versus Steve Rogers. Round five Tonberry versus the Doom Slayer. Fuck yeah. And then we were actually doing a couple of them. The first ones were six rounds and then the so that round six of that one was Predator versus Robocop. Battle Royale number two.
was round one, Sean versus cable, no weapons round two, miles Morales versus Mario round three was Dr. Who versus King shark round four was Voldemort versus Dracula round five was Mando versus Joker round six was Chris, Chris Redfield versus squirrel girl. Uh, and then we had battle. I just want to say you and in battle round number two round one was Sean from Sean of the dead. So that was Simon Pegg's Simon Pegg's character. Yes Yes. I should have clarified that my bad.
Yeah. Round or battle round number three was round one, Vincent Valentine versus the green ranger round two, the comedian versus Bowser round three was future trunks versus Sephiroth round four night wing versus night wing Dick Grayson versus a xenomorph and round five was Beatrix kiddo from the bra or excuse me from kill bill. She was the bride versus optimist prime. One of the more lopsided uh scenarios we've ever had.
I will say that of all of these scenarios you just listed out, the one that has still haunted me to this day that I lost was the future trunks versus Seth Roth, which I get, you Seth Roth is the, do they call them? Like the winged angel or something like that. uh But future trunks, I mean, come on, he's got the freaking the same blade. And I don't know. Anyway, I just, that was also Aaron's first win was battle right on number three.
So Going into Battle Royale number four, we have a Weeping Angel versus Pikachu. We have Raphael from the TMNT versus Tony Stark. I think in that one there was no gadgets, no weapons. So it was just Tony Stark. It wasn't him in his suit or anything. uh Round number three, had Blanca from Street Fighter versus Samus Aran. We had in round four, had Weapon X, Laura Kenny versus Slimer from the Ghostbusters franchise. And then round five, we had Darth Vader versus a Gundam Wing.
So I won about around number four and then going into our most going into most recent battle right on number five. Aaron, you won this one. It was the mighty Thor, Jane Foster versus the mask. somebody stop me. We have the. But you said freeze. We have the Punisher versus Hellboy. We have Aaron Knowles making his first appearance in the Battle Royale versus Hal Jordan's Green Lantern. We have peacemaker versus peacemaker.
That was one we both picked peacemaker, which is funny because he's now shown up in Mortal Kombat and he's got, you know, multiple suits. did that first. Everybody is always. And then the last round, round five was a gun Targaryen and versus Godzilla, which sounds like a good fight. And it was because I ended up bringing in Beleri and the Black Dread in that fight, even though Godzilla, think Godzilla handedly won that battle.
It was still cool to see the largest dragon in Game of Thrones versus Mrs. Godzilla, right? We're out. We're confirming that Godzilla is a girl, correct? You prepared to confirm that here on. not. I'm not. am not at liberty to. Not deny. All right, Aaron. Well, what do you say we just go ahead and get into? Well, actually, is there anything you want to reflect on on those previous battles or anything? No. I to to this ass whooping that you're about to get. We've got to open a can.
I should have brought a can to open right now for a can of whoop ass. All right, Aaron, let's go ahead and get into let me get my music ready. Battle number one, Aaron. Let's go ahead and spin our wheel for our scenario. oh Come on, ditty time. We have... Normal battle. Yep, normal battle. So is a normal battle. Nothing crazy. And Aaron, do you want to tell your first fight or do want me to go first? I'm about to spin my, cause I put mine in a wheel also. Let's see. My first fighter is Spawn.
made you. Fine, I need a scarecrow. You're be my personal message board. I want everyone to see what happens when they come here uninvited. Oh good choice good choice all right and my first fighter is Nemesis from Resident Evil 3 So William Birkin versus and I don't know why I'm spacing spawns actual name in the comics, but uh Al Simmons. Simmons. Yeah, Al Simmons, of course, famously created by Tom McFarlane over Image Comics.
He was the very first character in the image universe when they when those five creators or five or six creators branched off to make Image Comics. Aaron, talk a little bit about Spawn and why you decided to pick him for this battle. Well, I'll tell you why I chose Spawn because he just fucking badass, know. Kids love chains. KLC, buddy. Yeah. Well, I mean, obviously, we if you've seen the movie or you've seen the show on HBO, you've read the comics, you kind of know the background.
Al Simmons was a professional hitman assassin, whatever you want to call him. Merck, you know, and he was betrayed by his boss. And basically kind of sold to the devil to become a general in the hell's war on, you know, earth and the angels. And so, you know, he's brought back after several years to the world. The world is in disarray and he's given this, you know, suit that's basically like a living kind of almost entity in and of itself.
Think, think, bad, was it Dr. Strange's cape, but like all over his body kind of. A certain, you know, spawns body is pretty dense. So he's got, he's, weighs over 450 pounds. It's almost completely comprised of necroplasm. This gives him superhuman strength, speed, durability. So he kind of has like a little bit of uh some internal organs, but they're not really functioning because he is pretty much dead.
So cause he is a hell spawn, but he knows like all types of like almost every type of uh martial arts fighting style. clarify that this is the comic version or is this the live action Michael J White version? Personally, I don't discern, I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with comic version. He's got vast magical powers as well. Each time, each time Spawn uses energy though, he does drain a little bit of time that he has left in his body.
was that was kind of my first sort of instinct when you said spawn is that famously spawn has that ticker, you know, where his powers eventually drain. So it's to be really important for nemesis. I think this is more of a durability match up for nemesis than anything. I mean, I think we'll get into nemesis in just a moment. I just want to talk a little bit more about spawn.
Just more is like a fan is that like if you are alive and loving comics in the 90s, you couldn't turn your head without running into a spawn poster or comic. or T-shirt. mean, Tom McFarland, he obviously had his mitts on all of that. You know, it's it's kind of crazy to think how much one character or one creator could really popularize an entire medium. You had Rob Liefeld and Tom McFarland doing gene commercials for Levi's in the 90s. That's how big they were on late night television.
Yeah. You know, it's crazy to think that they had this much power. And again, I think Spahn is the poster child for the speculator speculator boom of the 90s.
Yeah, he's so iconic as being kind of the, I'm just going to say he's considered like a link between when comics were becoming more popular, when you have like cartoon shows ah and bringing them to the mainstream because of his dark, dark nature of, know, again, like a lot of people don't go back and look at like Ninja Turtles and how they started off with some very dark themes and messages.
And now, you know, like, fast forward to like, you know, mid nineties and you got spawn and his books and it's very, it's very, uh, corrupt cops. It's very, you know, streets are overrun with drugs and murder and violence. And the only person who's out there is not, not your, your sensible Batman type. It's, it's a hell spawn who's out there like killing people. Right, exactly. OK, let's move on to my participant, which is Nemesis. Nemesis T-type from the Resident Evil 3, 1999 Resident Evil 3.
Aaron, when I tell you the video game. Yeah, we're going to talk about it. not movie nemesis. Got it. Right. Not the one that's getting karate chopped and kicked in the face by Milya Jovovich and not the guy who got, I guess he got like a scratch from a liquor in the first movie. I can't remember exactly how, how that worked out, but he gets pulled away at the end of the movie whenever she eventually gets trapped in there's underground.
But point being is that in this version of the, you know, of Nemesis, Aaron, when I tell you that this character had such a vice grip on my love of the Resident Evil series. I very vividly remember playing Resident Evil 2 and then eventually actually Resident Evil 2 and Resident Evil 3 very much are like copacetic in my brain when I think about Resident Evil. Like in my headcanon, those games came out at the same exact time because I was playing them at the same exact time.
So uh Nemesis, of course, there's that, what does he say? Stars. know, the beginning, you click Resident Evil, you press start and you have Nemesis stars. And you just hear him. And I think it's so crazy. I now. I haven't played the remake. Have you played the Resident Evil 3 remake from 2020? OK, I haven't either. I've heard it's decent.
It's definitely I've heard it's not as good as two and it's not as good as four, but it's like fine, which if you look at like sort of the larger picture of Resident Evil in that time frame, I think one is like sort of revered, even though it's slightly flawed to. I think most people really love three is maybe usually the people like it, but don't love it. And then Resident Evil 4 is usually a lot of people's favorite. And I think that sort of stayed true with the remakes as well.
But in terms of Nemesis as a character, I think one thing they did really cool with the remake is they had him just sort of walk around the map at all. Like he'll just show up and beating your ass in this new game. Whereas like in the older games, he would also follow you. But it's like it was contained to an area. And I think what's really important about Nemesis, I mean. If you've played Resident Evil, you kind of understand what his deal is.
He has sort of a T 1000 Terminator two type of indestructible giant guy that you hit a couple of times, but in reality, he's never really going to die. Like he's not, he's not dying. You know what mean? So, uh, Aaron, what do you know about Nemesis? Just like overall stars. I just know that he's kind of like this big lumbering, imposing character. You know, he's just like carrying around a giant rocket launcher all the time.
And I know that he has like a, like a limiter on like in him some, I don't know if it's like a biological or if it's like a technological like limiter, because if they, if that gets removed or damaged, he'll start to mutate out of control. Yeah. Yeah. So this is interesting. We basically have a walking, I guess, saying one word talking mutate versus a literal spawn pun intended of hell. Aaron, what is Spawn's first move here? When he sees Nemesis, they pop into the arena together.
That's a lot of preamble, by the way. We won't won't preamble every battle like that. At least I don't think so. What is Spawn's first move when he sees Nemesis? I think it's kind of to, know, obviously Al Simmons is a trained like military mind. He's quick thinking. Plus, you know, the fact that he has the hell spawn, his intelligence is heightened. All of his, you know, what do you call it? Like his reflexes, everything is heightened.
And so I feel like he's going to kind of be immediately kind of go into like defensive mode and start like assessing his enemy. So he's going to start figuring out like, okay, Who is this guy? He probably has like some guns, you know, like on him.
Uh, so he's probably like shoot, you know, probably like move around a little bit, start shooting at him cause he knows he's the enemy and he's going to start like, again, assessing this guy, accessing this, this assessing this wall of, of, of a monster for weakness. Mm Yeah. And then, like you said, of course, it's interesting. They both have this like power limiter in a sense, right? Like literally in Nemesis is in his arena, but also spawn with his time frame. So, yeah, this is interesting.
I think what ends up happening is that spawn notices what Nemesis is immediately because he's familiar with the the unorthodox sort of demon like character. He knows that quite well, I think. And Nemesis is a blind He's a blind, just straightforward attack kind of guy. So obviously it's really, it's a battle of wits versus a battle of durability. You know, if Spawn could get in there quickly and kill him, can kill Nemesis, it's a quick fight.
But I think if somehow, and I think Nemesis, this is something that I think is uh quite good for Nemesis is that he, again, if we're speaking like in terms of the video game logic, every time you hit him, he just sort of falls, right? And he gets right back up. Yeah, you can shoot him with a rocket launcher in that game and he doesn't die. I he's pretty durable overall, but he can be killed at the end. He also has like a I don't know. Did you ever play like the oh shoot?
think it was Resident Evil had like some like side stories or they were like secret secret levels to it or extra hard version or something like that. They had a tyrant is what his name was. I think that was supposed to be like what Nemesis eventually was going to become right. And it's the same thing with him. That's a weird sidebar. I don't really have anything to build off with that, but I just thought it was interesting that both of those characters are pretty durable.
So what's your impulse here, Aaron? What do you think? Does Spawn have it in him with his chains and his fire? He has like fire powers, doesn't he? Yeah, so he can do so that is that is one thing that I do know that nemesis t-type is weak to is explosions. And so I know that the health spawn does have the ability to create fire, create explosions. He also has his cape. So his cape is again, almost just like the doctor strange is, I guess, cape or whatever you call it. Cloak levitation.
So it is it has. it does at times have a mind of its own. So it's able to camouflage spawn. It's able to engage or like encapsulate enemies. It's able to protect him. It's able to help him fly. You know, I honestly think that you're right. This is this is a pretty open and close type of case here. Unfortunately, Nemesis is only one of his only weaknesses is fire. And it just so happens that spawn one of his main one of his main like attacks is fire related because he comes from hell.
So in my opinion, this is over. think spawn comes in pretty quick. He sort of nooses him up with his chains and therefore Nemesis has nothing left to do. I mean, I think maybe he's able to break out of one set and maybe get a rocket launcher shot off or maybe do a couple of punches here and there, do a kick. But outside of that, uh think Spawn has this pretty much wrapped up as long as he's able to take care of this quickly.
I think um I'm going to agree with you and the only thing that I can think of is yes, I believe that the spawn, you know, like this, it's like, it's like a symbiotes. So it's almost like venom. ah But I will say this, that there, does have a weakness as well to explosion. So the only thing I would say is like, if there is a possibility of the nemesis getting off a rocket shot in time, which I, that's the only thing I don't think is he's, I don't think he's quick enough to beat bonds speed.
Yeah, I agree. Okay. So round one goes to spawn. So Yes. All right. Fucking go. All right. All right. All right. You've been there before, Aaron. I don't act like don't act like you haven't won before. I'm just kidding. All right. Let's go into our second battle here. We got the wheel spinning and we have calls for two reinforcements. All right. So, Aaron, I'll go and give my first fighter here. We're spinning. We're spinning.
And my first combat or sorry, my second combatant here in battle on number six is Bader Ray Bill from Marvel. nearly toppled Crown City prepare yourselves for... Aaron, who is your second fighter? Judge Dredd uh All right, Judge Jed from the 2000 AD universe. Yes. OK, so let me talk a little bit about Beta Ray Bill here, because I think amongst the comic readers, you know, the ones that know no kind of people, they've been clamoring for a beta ray bill.
Now, of course, Daniel Warren Johnson had a pretty great run a couple of years ago. want to say it was in twenty twenty one is when Beta Ray Bill came out. So clearly we're fans. We've we've obviously talked to Daniel Warren Johnson about this series, but he was, you know, Beta Ray Bill was created in 1983. His first appearance was in Mighty Thor 3 37, of course, written and drawn by Walt Simonson. Basically what happens, Aaron, have you ever read Mighty Thor 3 37? It's an iconic book, man.
It's one of those books that you like if someone's trying to get into Marvel Comics or just get into comics in general, I think this would be a great representation of what's cool about the Marvel universe is because what Walt Simonson does so well is he just throws this random horse looking character and just has this character grab Mjolnir from Odin's son.
And you're like, how in the world is this, you know, this hammer, as many people know, Mjolnir is only be is only able to be picked up by like Odin, Odin's son. I don't remember. I don't have like the complete Thor history locked away in my membrane. But I think I'm pretty sure it's like one or three characters, one to three characters that could pick up Mjolnir. All of sudden, this random character just out of nowhere comes and picks it up and they have this fight.
It's obviously a misunderstanding. But what you eventually find out is that, you know, Bayre Bill is a Corbinite. He was basically genetically modified in order to be like their champion, the Corbinites. Because if you look at Bayre Bill and you look at the rest of the Corbinites, they look wildly different. Like, Corbinites have like no nose. They're like kind of round and they've got little beady eyes and they just look like normal aliens almost a little bit brown, like brown aliens.
Yeah, they look like, yeah, they look weird. Yeah, but obviously, better a bill looks like a horse. He's like a horse man. He's got he's you know, he's got like his Thor get up. He looks very much Thor esque. And he also carries, you know, after that issue, he eventually gets Stormbreaker, which in the movies we've seen Stormbreaker, but that's not the same Stormbreaker that. Yeah, well, I would say that Alan the alien is like Beta Ray Bill, but yes, like they're.
That archetype is very yes, you're so right. They're very similar in that way. So uh again, I think for like. Simplicity purposes, let's just say Bayre Bill, basically Thor, but with a whore face, whore face, horse face. A horse face. So Aaron, talk a little bit about Judge Dredd. go back and I was doing some research. So I got lost on my, you know, during my research because unfortunately judge Dredd does not have any superpowers. he has the law on his side. That is about it.
So judge Dredd is a street judge from a not so distant, but probably kind of distant, but also not so distant future where the world has kind of I don't think they're real, at least not that I know that they discussed it, but like there's no like apocalyptic event. It's just, this is what society has de-evolved into fighting over resources, fighting over space.
Everybody lives in these mega cities because you know, everything else around the mega cities are now just endless deserts that are, you know, wastelands. So they literally live in what's called the scorched earth. So it could be the sun, it could be the environment, it could be whatever. um But Judge Red is a... He has a law enforcement agent of this new type of society where there's too many people in prisons. There's too many people on the planet. There's too many people fucking around.
So the only answer is to make one person who's out there judge during executioner and you get judges like judge Dredd who judge Joseph Dredd is the number one. He is the best of all time. I would have to go more into the depth of his story because there's stories where he is a genetically engineered. There's one where he is, he's like a clone. There's ones where he is, he's a robot and there's not just Judge Dredd.
There's obviously many other, but you have like Judge Death, some of his opponents, you know, you got some crazy. And I think what like just to sort of build on that, I think like Judge Dredd, what they were trying to do over at 2000 AD, you know, of course this, was a judge. I was created by John Wagner and Carlos X Cara.
I I'm probably saying his name incorrectly, but what they were trying to do is that this sort of militarization of the law at that time, you know, this was around 19 in the late 1970s, early eighties where It was Reagan's America and nationalism was becoming much more of a thing, not only in America, but everywhere. Of course, 2008D takes place over across the pond over in the UK. that sort of like the culture was becoming more prevalent everywhere in the world.
And I think what Judge Dredd initially was, was this sort of satire on that idea of like nationalism and a militarization of our police. And what was initially created as like a pastiche of that idea. slowly morphed into this through bad can do good kind of idea. You know, if that makes sense, at least I hope. And I'm not like the again, the end I'll be all when it comes to Judge Dredd. I'm a fan of the character. But from what I understand, he is sort of a bad guy that does good things.
You know, is that is that kind of what your view is on the character as well? Or maybe a good guy that does bad things. Yeah. Okay. So this is all about perspective. Again, like his character was created to be a representation, like just like you said, of, you know, a militaristic government where you have to, you really have to kind of bend your, your thought process to fit into the perspective of people living in that society.
You know, that was a necessary evil that the government felt was the best course of action because things were going to hell on the streets. So what do you do? You don't make decisions that people are going to like. You don't just let people go and do with it then they're going to kill each other. At least if you have somebody who represents the law, like again, judge, jury, executioner, then you have like somebody who's out there who is the person to blame.
But you have this, you have this like pivotal like epitome of the law, like judge dread who never shows his face. He is the faceless hand of the law. Yeah, absolutely. You were talking earlier about like, why is this earth? Why is mega city one the way it is? And from my understanding, if I remember this correctly, and everyone, you're listening to this right now, I could be totally misquoting here, but I think this world takes a lot of responsibility.
A lot of responsibility of the humans in this world were, sort of left to like AI and robots. And that's why eventually people were left without jobs. Uh, you know, we're again, as Aaron sort of jokingly said earlier, we're inching ever so closer to this idea of like cheap labor going to robots. Therefore the humans of the world kind of have to lie, cheat and steal in order to get what they want. And then of course you have your militarization of the law.
So, okay, in this scenario, again, a lot of preamble, but in this scenario we have two reinforcements. I already know who my two reinforcements are. Aaron, who are your, do you know who your two reinforcements are? um Spoilers, my two reinforcements are two previous combatants in our previous games. I'm going to go with yes, he does know. you asking what, who they are? Yes, I'm asking who are you going to nominate as his two reinforcements? Judge Judge two reinforcements.
Is it Carl Urban and Sylvester Stallone just as themselves? I was just going to say it's going to be uh Heela, uh Hella, is that Hella and Sertr from the MCU. uh Just who does car replay on the boys? Whoever he is, you just have him. Billy Butcher. Butcher. Billy Butch- right. Okay. Mine is just going to be silver surfer and Odinson. So, cause you know, again, they are his, I would say those are two of his closest friends in this universe.
know, Mayday Bill is a little bit of a loner as is those two other characters, but when they have, when they're up against it, it seems like those three are kind of in like each other's corner, right? Like, there's, they're often teaming up. So, Is there anything you want to say about? mean, again, I talked about Stormbreaker. It's basically just think Mjolnir, but a giant hammer, a gold hammer. Right. You want to talk about lawgiver at all for Judge Dredd?
I mean, his lawgiver, there's not really much to say about it. Gun that has the gun with many settings. OK, so he's got it's got the general purpose armor piercing rubber ricochet incendiary grenade heat seeker. I mean, depends again, like we're talking comic version here. So you're not getting like double whammy. I said hot shot. Well, let's see what else. ah you have anything else in his arsenal? again, I think for these purposes, Silver Server comes in with Justice Board.
ah You know, Odin's son has just Mjolnir. Oh, it's bored in the cause and the power cosmic fucking a yes. mean, so Judge Dredd, mostly his stuff is lawgiver a scatter gun arbitrator, which is a pump action shotgun with several types of ammo and shot shells, shotgun shells, standard slugs, armor piercing, ricochet slugs, incendiary slugs that are, you know, pyrochemicals. High explosive, heat seager, a Widowmaker 2000, which is an automatic shotgun.
He's got a stub gun, which is a two-handed laser rifle that can shoot through any material, by the way. A day stick, a boot knife, stun grenades, and of course his law master, which is his motorcycle. Sure. um Any, any particular weapons that you're to co-combatants? Did you really want to just pick two Carl Urban characters or was there somebody else in the Judge Dredd universe that you wanted to pick with him?
If I'm going to bring anybody from the, it's going to be like one of those war robots. Yep. And probably judge death. Okay, all right. What's Judge, what do you, how much do know about Judge, Judge Death? I've seen many pictures by of him, but I don't really know anything about the character. So he's actually just like an alien. Okay. But he's the founder of the Dark Judges.
he's like, Nega Dread, you know, like he's like the arch enemy to Judge Dread and Judge Anderson, is his his psychic partner. I think we're kind of spinning our wheels here. Is there anything that Judge Dredd and co can do against the power cause team team power cosmic? No, this is this is I'm yeah. No, I'm done. I'm dead. Judge Dredd is fucking dead. Yeah. OK. Is there any is there anything that Team Dread can do in this scenario? Like, do they even get a shot off?
I mean, I know like you can make an argument like Thor versus those three could kill all three of those guys. Which feels kind of annoyingly overpowered. But that's honestly I just believe that like that's who Baderay Bill would call. You know, he's got his he's got his ship. That's like an AI sort of ship. But yeah, I think that makes sense. I think that's that's how we're going to do it. OK, cool. So I get round two. Shout out to Bayre Bill, Odinson and Noren Rad. Thanks for helping out here.
Aaron, are you ready to go to round three? Round number three. Let's pick our scenario here. Aaron, we got tell the listeners. Oh, is it diddy time? Yeah! It's diddy time. Tell the people what diddy time is. uh my God. So Diddy time is it's, it's a frictionless, it is a frictionless arena. So basically just imagine like stepping onto kind of like ice skating, there is no stopping. Yeah. You can run into a wall, but there's no slowing down.
So you're going to maintain like, you're probably going to speed up actually. So like, be careful if you're going to hit a wall. Look at, think of like the Looney Tunes slipping noise. Exactly that. Yeah. Just think that all the time. All right. I'm spinning my I'm spinning my fighter right now. Got it. All right. It is Magneto. champion enough error Ooh, from the X-Men part of the Marvel Universe. Okay, got it. All right. Mine is... Oh my gosh, Aaron, you're going to love this.
Actually, I may have just accidentally stumbled upon one of Aaron's deepest, darkest fantasies. My combatant is Big Barda, one of the new gods from DC Comics. Well, well. The gang's all here. You should never have come back, Barda. Although personally, I look forward to watching you die. I'd tell you to go to hell, Guillotine, but given the situation, that'd be redundant. So Aaron, do you want to talk? Should I just leave that there? Or do you want to discuss why I said that? I mean, it's easy.
Barda, Muscle Mommy. She is the... Go ahead and give me some powers of Big Barda. Because I'd love to hear you tell me about my fantasy woman. Big Barda essentially is just like a giant, powerful woman. Her power set is really just limited to her giant sort of mace that she carries along with her. She is a god. She is a new god. So she has that. I don't know if she flies, but she does have the power to like teleport via a boom tube.
So she's obviously married to Scott Free, Mr. Miracle in the DC universe. She first appeared in Mr. Miracle number four back in 1971, of course, created by the king, King Kirby. She is generally the leader or one of the leaders of the female furies. More recently, she has been appearing in the Birds of Prey comic written by Kelly Thompson, art by Leo Romero. She is a master hand of hand in combat. She is a superhuman strength, durability, reflexes, agility, stamina and speed. And she's immortal.
But for these purposes, of course, she is able to be killed. Just think big, strong woman with a giant mace who talks in sort of short superlatives. Aaron, how about you? So Magneto, his birth name is actually a lot of people think Eric Lencher, but it's not. is Max. Max. Max. Max. Max Eisenhart. Okay. I got it. Yeah. But yeah, Magnus is uh one of his aliases. uh He's, he's obviously appearing in American Marvel comics created by Stanley and like you said, King Kirby. ah Kirby creations.
Yeah. He first appeared in X-Men. Number one, which actually The cover date is September 1963. Wow. So ah again, probably one of the most powerful mutants. Is he Omega? I can't remember exactly if he's Omega, but I'm almost positive he isn't a mega mutant. I would say like one of the coolest things that they've done recently is actually kind of like explore the lengths to what his powers could accomplish.
And that's like literally turning off because he can affect magnetic frequencies and spectrums. He can literally turn off the planet. Yeah. And it's insane. Like his level of just power. So uh able to manipulate magnetic fields to achieve a wide range of effects. Yes. And he is classified as an a mega level mutant. The application of his powers is magnetism, manipulation of both ferrous and indirectly non-ferrous metals.
So pretty much any superhero that relies on any weapon that is made of any kind of metal, yeah, think he'll fuck them up. So I think for, you know, simplest terms, Bartas Mase is at least out here or I guess it's more of a rod. But regardless, I would imagine it's made of some type of metal, whether it be a new god, fourth world type of metal or just whatever, you know, like even Thanos is giant blades are made of Uru metal. like you can sell Uru metal.
But I think again, for these purposes, we'll just say that her rod is made of metal. But uh So that's pretty much gone. again, I think being in a concrete stone arena, right? Do you think Magneto has his levitation abilities? Cause I think he uses the gravitational pull of the metal within earth to levitate. Does he have that ability you think? Well, everything has like a magnetic, everything has like energy and has like a magnetic like, yes. mean, I don't think that he needs it.
I don't think that he needs to fly in this. Could he? I believe he could. Okay. Because it's not necessarily like the metal that allows him to float. It's his ability to uh manipulate the magnetic forces that are around him. imagine anything that's like, yeah, anything that's, that's on earth or like has a gravity because gravity is created by magnetism. or centripetal force, is too much. Yeah. MC equals MC square science.
Square over the over the over the two you carry you you divided by two, right? You carry and then divide and carry dividing care. Got it. OK, we found it. One part. Okay, is my very simple reaction to this is that if Magneto gets even with it, if he gets within a foot of Big Barda, she is going to like Hulk smash his head. She is like one of the strongest, if not the strongest new God. is again. You already said it muscle mommy. She is like the the the the female Furies are the.
Think of like the Dora Milaje for Black Panther. They are like the force of combat in that universe. And she's a god. So I think that here's the only thing and I hate to debate for you, Aaron, but like I have read stories where like Magneto can manipulate the iron in people's blood. Have you seen this before? Where you can like and like do things to their organs. And here's that I'm going to say that to say this. I don't think that Big Bart is system works like that. She is a new god.
She doesn't have like the same human anatomy as even though she has, I guess, had kids with Scott before. I don't know. It's it's it's comic book logic, people. I don't know. What are your what's your read here on this fight? Is she naked? Let's establish the real important things here. Firstly, how naked is she? No, she's clothed in her normal armor. ah I don't know. Let me look that up. I don't think it's metal, though. Cause that would be my question.
Like the thing is as soon as she is, I feel like Magneto, I just want to call him Eric. as soon as Eric sees her coming towards him and like ready to attack, think that he's going to, he's self preservation is going to kick in immediately. And he is just going to, you know, as much as he doesn't want to, cause he, mean, he doesn't really want to kill the mutants. He wants to create the brotherhood. However, She's not a mutant though. She's a god. How is she going to kill?
How is he going to kill her though? That's what I'm curious about. The guy can literally like change the like use his powers to like adjust and like change the magnetic force of the earth. Do you think that that's that's not going to have some kind of effect like he could do that to just her armor. He could literally just make it crusher. I mean, that's possible if her if her armor was made of metal, but I don't know that it is.
I don't think we can like in good conscience say that her armor being that she is from apocalypse, that that that her armor is made of metal. Wait, what is the arena in this one? This is just the concrete normal. uh No, this is a diddy. This is the diddy party. Right, right. So she's slippery slide in. Do the cartoon noise again. she can't run. uh But neither can what is he doing? I he's probably just standing there. he can't, so, okay, next question. Is the arena on a planet?
Or is it just floating in space? we got, what I think we're we're being too big brain about this because that doesn't matter. We can't go outside of the arena anyway. But nothing outside of that arena matters. It's just what's in that concrete slab. Is there any metal and concrete? I guess there's usually like rods and. rebar. Yeah, there's rebar. Well, I guess he could maybe use that. My only thing is that there is, he has his suit on, which is made of metal.
So he can use his powers to move himself. She cannot. Okay, let me give you a little explainer here of the o'pock to Lipton bio armor is linked to at a cellular level and can be triggered by mental uh commands and forms around the user's entire body when called upon increasing the user strength and durability, as well as emit a concentrated beams of energy capable of inflicting agonizing pain.
Its outer shell is a rock like appearance and can protect its wear from a wide array of hazards, including underwater environments, fire. and durability as the durability withstand multiple punches from Superman. And it also says here that Big Barda has gone toe to toe with Wonder Woman in many instances and has never been bested by her, making her an immediate match for Diana.
Big Barda is a master combatant in swords, swordsmanship, raw brawling and in conjunction with her raw strength and grit. She also has a weapon called the Mega Rod, which enables her to fly, generate energy, teleport and manipulate gravity. I don't know. I I think that. I like big bar to here, honestly. I think that in a normal world with things around them, Magneto has a shot because then he can mess around with, with metal.
But I think that since we're in a, and again, I I'm willing to give you like a little bit of grace and say like the rebars in the concrete walls. But I think even then all he is is playing with metal. She doesn't, I don't think she has any, I don't think she's able to be truly damaged by standard steel from, from earth. Here's my only thing.
Okay. And this is why it matters that if there is any like type of like, again, where this where this battle, where this arena is happening and I really wish we could get clarity. If we can't get clarity, that's fine. Yeah. Um, because I would argue that he could use the magnetic like field to just literally like crusher. But however, because I don't know the answer to that and there's a lot of what would you call it? Evidence that she could overpower him. I'll succeed. Okay, fair enough.
I think that's a good battle. Again, I think in almost any other scenario, like say, let's say no weapons, no gadgets. You know, this is a ditty party and Big Barda is not going to give up on it. You know that when it comes to a ditty party, Barda is down to clown. Well, you just said that, you know, even if she doesn't have her power, her rod, her suit can, can create like energy, like energy blasts. Right. So she could use that potentially to maneuver herself around the field.
Yeah. Yeah. I think I feel good about giving part of this one. Um, cause again, I Magneto in many other scenarios, he is generally going to kick ass. It's not even going to be close. He's the type of character that can like pretty much fuck up anybody, but big Barta in this scenario, she is a, she's a new God. You know what mean? She is like the female fury. So yeah. Okay. Big Barta here for round three, a big two in a row here, Aaron, you getting nervous two to one going into round four.
I am very nervous. All right. I'm a little bit upset. Here we go. Let's get into round four here. All right. Let's spin our wheel, spin in the wheel, spin in the wheel. Big money, big money, big money. Our next scenario is, oh, 20,000 archers fire one arrow every two minutes. So think seen in 300 where there's just multiple. There's like a sea of arrows in the sky. But that happens every two minutes and every arrows on fire.
Okay, so now the arena this concrete slab just has little holes atop the entire thing and there's just arrows coming in at all times. Okay. On your end. I got mine. uh The Incredible Hulk. Okay. All right. Mine. Gosh, this is gonna be a quick battle. Everybody. Mine is Ash Williams from the Evil Dead franchise.
All right, you primitive screwheads listen up See this This is my boomstick It's a 12 gauge double-belled Remington s Mart's top of the line You can find this in the sporting goods department That's right. This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-mart. OK, so we shop smart, we shop as smart at all times.
But Ashley Williams is going to stand no chance in this in this scenario uh from top to bottom, really, because I think one round of fire archers is a done deal for old Ashley. And what are your thoughts? Well, ashy slashy is, uh, yeah, he's going to go down pretty crazy. Kind of a, it's kind of a bumbling fool. Yeah. He's kind of idiot of a dummy. Uh, he's very much a, a victim of his own circumstance. Yeah. And therefore he is not like, wouldn't even call him much of a fighter. Right.
Like he is resourceful. I'll give him that. he has gotten some very lucky wins, but nothing that I would say is really like him. And also it's prep time. you ever look at the movies, it's always a lot of prep. He is Macaulay Culkin. Yeah. Hailed to king, baby. um And you know, I love, I love Bruce Campbell. I love the evil dad. love army of darkness, all that stuff.
yeah, the Hulk before an arrow gets, you know, let before somebody, anybody loses an arrow, the Hulk is just going to walk, walk over to him and like punch him right in this fucking face. Yeah, exactly. You would just do the thing that he does the Loki and the Avengers and it's done. Yeah I am a god you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by Yeah, unfortunately, I think Ash, you know, obviously he's going to have his boomstick. He's going to have his chainsaw arm.
uh He might even have the the Necronaut, Nomicon. He doesn't use it. Yeah, it doesn't help him. Could he turn Bruce into a uh deadite? Even if he did it, it's still the Hulk. It's still the Hulk and it's still gonna fuck him up. Fair enough, fair enough. All right. Yeah. Unfortunately, Aaron, we have like one of these a battle where like it's it's insurmountable.
Yeah. There's no way that one of our combatants, again, speaking of like that Raphael versus Tony Stark with no gadgets battle and like, you know, Beatrix Kiddo versus Optimus Prime in a water. So, okay. I will see it here too. Punisher versus Hellboy was another one. So is there anything we can say about the Hulk really? mean, I think most people know who the J giant is, right? He's probably a top five most popular superhero in the world. easily like universally recognized.
Uh, the Hulk, you know, created by, by Stanley and other Stanley Jack Kirby. We're in a Kirby kick today. Stanley, Stanley Kirby kick. Uh, first debuted an issue, uh, the first issue of the incredible Hulk may 1960, may 1962, excuse me. In his comic book appearances, he has dissociates Dissociative identity disorder a DID which is what they used to call split personalities So because they're just basically calling the Incredible Hulk his green sign a split personality.
Yeah, I call more than that But um, you know Bruce Banner actually people think Bruce Banner is his name. It's not it's a Robert Bruce Banner He went by Bruce Banner because he was trying to hide his identity. Oh And he's as as dr. Bruce Banner. He's physically weak socially withdrawn and emotionally reserved You know, they changed his name in the TV show from Bruce, because I guess some people thought the name Bruce was kind of they thought it was too homosexual sounding.
So they changed it to David for the TV show back in. So and then David Banner, the rapper, came in and they're like, you know what? We're going to just go back to Bruce. No, that's not why. And then and then Eric Bana, Eric Bana, right, played him in a film that sucked. Who's your favorite live action Hulk? Is it Mark Ruffalo? I really like Ed Norton. I really liked Ed Norton. That's a hard, that's a battle royale we need. I think it's, I think it's pretty handily Mark Ruffalo.
think that he is so great as that character. It's, it's got, it's something to do with like the rights with universal because universal owns the movie rights and that's And they keep holding it over Marvel's head. Like, Hey, if you can make your Hulk movie, but we want 40 % of the profits. And they're like, we're not doing that. We'll throw them in a Thor movie. What are you talking about? Yeah. You know, so a little bit of background on Ashley Williams, AKA Ash.
He first premiered and Sam Raimi's evil dead in 1981. Olivia and I actually just watched that for the while she watched it for the first time a couple of nights ago. She thought it was the silliest thing ever, which it is. ah He also showed up in Evil Dead 2. A little bit, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Not not like a ton, because obviously I like to be in the movie.
But like I try to explain some things like when you show someone Evil Dead for the first time, there has to be like a little bit of prerequisite. You gotta prep them for a little bit of what's about to Yeah, the silliness like yeah, you have are you gonna watch army of darkness with her? She said directly after the first one that she was like, I don't need to see any more of these. I'm like, hold on, hold on. Hold on. There's it gets better. I promise you like.
Yeah, I think is like a perfect movie and it's just a better version of. Like. And then Army of Darkness, of course, is my favorite one of the entire franchise. We've obviously covered Evil Dead 2013, which is, you know, an Evil Dead movie that doesn't even have Ash Williams in the movie. So and then obviously there's Ash versus the Evil Dead. All the things so and actually in 2013 Ash Williams was voted by Empire magazine as the greatest horror movie character of all time Which is interesting.
So and didn't burst Campbell. He wrote a book not back in the day. I Mean, yeah, he's got he's got lots, but I know you met didn't you meet him at some point? I've never met him not that I remember but my parents so they got one of my books of his autographed So it's if chins could kill the story of a B movie actor That sounds like a Bruce Campbell book. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, round four goes to Aaron and the Hulk. Let's get into our final round. We're currently two to two crazy.
Two to two here. We're getting crazy. They don't fucking matter though because like I've won some of these and then the fucking fans I'm not fans listeners Turner Turner around on me. Well, you know what? It's happened to both of us. We've you know, you've won. You won the most recent one. So true. That's all right. All Let's get into our final scenario here. Final scenario of Battle Royale number six. We have is it call for three reinforcements? Oh, fuck. here we go. Oh, wow.
OK, three reinforcements for this one. OK, she's I only have one fighter left. I already know what mine is. Do you know your I know mine is okay. Who's yours? You're I said mine first last I know this time mine is Sora from Kingdom Hearts. you Here and I, there's a new land. Am I doing the right? that right? The theme song from Kingdom Hearts. If you walk away, don't hear me say please, lady, don't go. Ripple and clean is the way. Banger of the 21st or the 20th century, right? That is the song.
Please mute us. Just play the real, or at least a clip of it so we don't sound like complete asshats here. um So mine is Aang, the last avatar. He's the last, I don't know much about. So he's the last airbender, the Avatar, the last airbender. Airbenders can do like all of it, right? No, so they can bend like they can obviously like manipulate like wind but the avatars are able to control all elements. So basically the fucking, you know, the fucking planet tears. Wind, water, uh fire.
And so since he, since we're going to do three reinforcements, I'm going to have him bring out uh Cora, who is the next avatar. um And then You tell your reinforcements if you know them. pretty easy. It's going to be Donald Duck, Goofy and Mickey Mouse. they're all there. First of all, they all have their most powerful key blade and they're also all wearing the Nightmare Before Christmas costumes. So that's how we're going about this here.
And also Mickey's wearing his his black cloak as well for something because I think he looks cool in it. Okay. I was going to bring Cora, Amon. No, not Amon. What is his name? What is the fucking... Amon's the bad guy from the movie, but I was going to bring the emperor from the first, from Avatar, who is like the supremely powerful, like fire bender. then Tarlock. So Tarlock, who's a blood bender. He's a water bender who can bend blood. Like it's completely fucked up. All right. right.
And you obviously have a strong attachment to the Kingdom Hearts franchise, but just for the layman of folks who don't really know what Kingdom Hearts is, it was a video game series that initially came out in 2002 for the PlayStation 2. know, Sora and co have showed up in many different things. But I think the most simplest way of putting this is like take Disney and take Final Fantasy and take your most like. emotional anime manga that you know and smash those three together.
And that's what Kingdom Hearts is. It's just a convoluted, beautiful fucking story that is about a little boy who wants to save his friends and Disney characters and Final Fantasy characters are there. It's so weird. It's like they're not really themselves. They're in like a simulation that's part of another simulation, but they're also like different parts of their personalities. So and then like they're different.
Their names are like anagrams and like mess up like Xehanort and like like all these things. It's like Disney is Yen Sid. And it's like it's this whole I don't fucking get it. I need like somebody send me a full breakdown of everything that Kingdom Hearts is so I can understand what the fuck is going on. because it was so simple and clean in the first game. And now it's like completely like, like they're coming out with a new one.
And in this new one, people are explaining that he has like, it's more human form, which you could see in like Kingdom Hearts two, think it was, or Kingdom Hearts three, when they had like Roxas who is Sora X. And then it's like, They look human, they look more human and you got Sora who looks like a character, but then in the real world he looks like a normal person. But when he goes back into the system, which is like digital, it's so weird. my favorite segment on the show here.
It's Aaron trying to explain the Kingdom Hearts universe, but not knowing it. Exactly. Well, Ang is an, is an avatar. Uh, he's from, he's an air nomad. He was born in 12 BG, which I'm not really sure what that is, but, basically the, the world knows that the, the avatars, like they basically go from one, what would you call it? Like power set to the next. So, and it's like a cycle. And because the fire nation knew that the next avatar was going to be the wind.
like an airbender or an air nomad, they basically went on this fucking full genocidal mission to kill every fucking avatar or airbender, excuse me, because he was supposed to fight in this war and like save everybody. He got scared and he went to like the Antarctic to run away and somehow sealed himself into this casing, encasing of ice and wasn't seen for, for like, I think like a hundred years or something. Well, I guess the important question here is, well, there's two important questions.
Number one, do you know who voiced Sora in the video games and the English voice actor? I guess I should say. what is his name? He's a he's the child actor, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Haley Osmond or something. Osman. Yep. Yeah. Nice. right. And the second important question is how do the avatar folks stack up against the keyblade folks? Okay, so we got to look at this uh first off from the Kingdom Hearts set.
You've already given them their specific costumes and you've given them their most powerful keyblades and weapons. So you have Sora who has his, what is it? It's the Kingdom blade, right? Is that what it's called? The ultimate? Or is it the ultimate key? I think it's like, it's the one that has the star, if I remember correctly, but you keep talking and I'll look it up. So you have Sora with his keyblade. Sora can wield magic. He's obviously a very good fighter. It's the same?
Yeah. Boom. Fuck it. I know fucking everything. He knows his kingdom, Aaron. That's what I always tell people about you. I'm like, he knows Kingdom Hearts. Yeah, pretty great, honestly. He is not good-looking, he knows Kingdom Hearts. is small but damn it does he know Kingdom Hearts. he know Sora's weapons. And then you have Goofy who um he is a defense. He's a tank basically. So he's like defense against the dark arts. And then you got Donald almost a Daffy. got Donald. oh Bye!
Yeah, I don't know how to say words. could just do it. I don't know. um You got, so he's a, he's a magic wielder. So he's primarily, you know, obviously like you can do like healing, you can do dark, you can do all that stuff. And then also Sora has the ability to summon so he can do summons. uh Really, I think it's, it's kind of his sorry his Ultima blade kind of looks like that summon from Final Fantasy 10. The one that has like he has like the chains on him. Do you know who I'm talking about?
I see the Ultima blade. looks like it's kind of yellow. It looks almost like it's got a wing. Oh, Anima. Yeah. I can see that. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. But also it looks like a giant Venus flytrap like. And also I should say just, feel like it's important that we say this Aaron specifically that the second most powerful key blade is called oblivion. good marketing by us many, years ago before we knew each other. We can back them to that for sure. uh here's my thing.
At the end of the day, Donald and Goofy are fucking useless. ah You're probably your best two fighters because you said Mickey and Sora. So your best two fighters and this is this is this this Kingdom Hearts like number one Mickey and Sora? Uh, yeah, I mean if we're going to limit it, I would just say first three, first three Kingdom Hearts games. Three Kingdom Hearts. Okay. So pretty OP. So these guys are pretty fucking strong.
ah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was my thing is cause I was going to give him like, I want it to be like, you know, end of the end of the season or the end of the show. I want him to have access to all the fires. Uh, I want him to be able to rely on. Cause again, we're also talking the other, uh, guys from, know, from the show, from chorus show. Plus you have her as an avatar as well. To be honest, I hate that I'm doing this.
I'm going to give you full reign to pick this because I know nothing about Avatar. I fight. I cannot fight it either one way or the other. I am only knowledgeable about Kingdom Hearts in this scenario. And I feel like when a little kid and his friends can beat Seth Roth in a fight that puts them in a pretty decent shot with against anybody. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to push all my responsibility onto you and you tell me who you think will win.
And I trust you enough to give a fair answer. Oh man, this is fucked up. You're, you're really, you're, you're real fucking asshole. Um, okay. Let's see. I gotta think about this. What do the Avatar folks do first? They walk in, they see Mickey, Donald, Goofy, and Sora. They all do their stances. That's pretty much it. It's like a lot of like I'm really feeling like Ginyu Force here.
Like they got to do their fucking like cool stance before, you know, but also here's the advantage that both of us have. They're all cartoon or video game characters. So therefore they have, we don't really understand the full extent of their ability to take a hit. They're, you know, and so I would say Aang and Korra, I'm not going to call them gods, but they're pretty fucking OP as well.
Like they're able to, they're not able to like summon fucking Mufasa or Simba to attack, but or Ursula, but I will say this, like, feel like the amount of stuff that they've gone through, the fights, the scale that they've, they have fought against. Ooh, man. But also you have Sora who's fought against like literally in one battle, thousands of, of heartless, but we're also talking about heartless, not necessarily being agile, smart, really powerful enemies.
but, but you also have to look at the, powers or the, fights that Sora and his team have beat, which are they beat gods, they beat what's his name? Um, Hades. They beat, I mean, they've even fought against cloud and Sephiroth. So, man, this is a hard fucking battle. A former combatant of yours too. You again, as you picked Seth Roth at one point. Yeah. Again, I have no real and good conscious. I could not pick a pick a winner here because I don't know Avatar as well as you do. I hear.
Can I, while you think about it, can I, can I just briefly say, don't judge me, anybody listening. I've tried to watch the last airbender, the animated series, the Nickelodeon version a couple of times. It's not that it's bad. just cannot put myself into it for whatever reason. I will say this, there is a lot of silliness because it's almost like a kid show a majority of the time, but if you can manage to get to the later seasons when it gets into him really understanding what his purpose is.
Legend of Korra is definitely an older, like conceptually an older, more mature audience for that because they knew their audience. Like lot of these kids had grown up seeing Aang and they knew they grew into wanting to see more avatars. had core, you know, and I believe they're actually doing, they're doing more. They're supposed to be adding more to it.
I will say this, like, again, when you get to the point where like, like Aang actually knows like he's going to like, like he's going to fucking war. is a bad ass show. there is like the, of these fight scenes in the background story becomes so emotionally charged. It's, it's amazing. Even Zuko who's, who's voiced by Dante Bosco, who's one of my favorite people on the planet. ah Zuko's character is phenomenal. His character development. I know I'm going into a way too much here. Um, okay.
I'm going to be honest. I think I'm to give it to Sora and Mickey. Okay. I just feel like, I feel like the, sheer team heart. Yeah. Team team, team KH because simple and clean because here's the thing. Like I, I do know does, does Mickey mouse bleed? I don't know actually You bleed? You bleed? You will! You will! You will you son of Buster Hall! I'm gonna fuck you up I'm gonna fuck you gonna shove this keyblade so far up your a- Hahaha You're Angus. I'm going to unlock your brain.
So I would say, so sorry for that folks. Because yeah, that's the other thing is like idea of strategy would be like the, the, the, the benders would go in there. The most powerful thing is like to start like basically torturing them or bending them because they have blood and we don't know if they have blood or not. We don't know if they can die. Yeah. So definitely not Mickey because Mickey is not going be killed. Mickey Mickey is unkillable. Try it motherfucker. ain't got no blood.
You think I could die? I'll fucking kill you off. God. We're going to fucking get canceled or somebody somebody's going to be like, oh, God, I'm not listening to that show. Mickey Mouse voices for 20 minutes straight. yeah, I'm going to give it to because again, I just I know that Eng, he dies. I'm not saying that's not a spoiler. He literally gets old and dies. That's more of a spoiler than saying he dies.
Yeah. So I feel like, think honestly, like again, we don't know the depths of Sora and his team, you know, team hearts. um You know, their, their durability. So I really got to give it to them because that's an unknown factor right there. And I know that, that there, I do know the durability of the Avatar team. Sure. Okay. I appreciate you being impartial and you know, I think that that will conclude Battle Royale number six.
So Aaron, why don't you go through our matchups and the winners one last time before we close out here. All right. Unfortunately, I fucking lost again, but hopefully not yet. Hopefully the listeners will come back and fucking help me out. round one was Nemesis versus Spawn in a normal battle. I won that round two is Beta Ray Bill versus Judge Red with two reinforcements. Chris won that big Barda versus Magneto. Did it party? Chris won that one.
Ash Williams from the Evil Dead versus the Incredible Hulk. I won that one. Hulk smashed that ass and he broke that boomstick in half and then Sora Kingdom Hearts versus Ang, the last airbender, the, know, team, team hearts versus team airbender team, simple and clean versus team, uh, captain planet. Uh, and so yeah, Chris won that one. So yeah, we got three to two, unfortunately in the immediate matchup.
I did not win, but hopefully the, hopefully the listeners will come to my rescue and help me out and tell me, tell Chris, tell the listeners that team airbender could kick that team hearts ass. Go Aaron Hall. Go over and haul or I'll kick your ass. All right, everybody. Thank you for listening and joining us for our battery on number six. Yeah, that was a fun one. Again, hopefully we don't wait too long to do it again, but we might. Who knows?
It might be another hundred episodes next time we do it, but ah that'll do it. only 43 from the last one. uh definitely got to be like one of our more recent, you know, timeframes. The less the other window is much less, think. Right, right. Aaron, any any final thoughts on Battle Royale before we close out of here? Oh man, it's always fun to get creative and debate and discuss.
And I think that one thing that's really cool is I think that one thing I really like that you do also that you bring to the Battle Royale as well is your expertise and wanting to identify these characters and their origins like story wise. So I'm going to become I'm going to get a little bit better at doing that when we do our Battle Royales going into the future because I really like that aspect because there's a bit of education that comes to it when we're having like some fun.
Mm Yeah, I always love whenever I listen to these kind of episodes and the people that are doing these conversations have a little bit of knowledge, not saying that I do or but, you know, we at least make that attempt. And I think that that's really important. So uh that will do it for episode one. Ninety three. I'll do it. That will do a pig. That will do next week on the show for episode one. Ninety. Did I say one? Ninety three earlier. Damn it, everybody. I apologize.
This was actually episode one. Ninety four, which doesn't really matter, honestly, like. No one keeps track of this. Just fix it in post. I'm going say 194 and. 194 So this is one ninety four about around number six is one ninety four one ninety five. Aaron, we're going to be celebrating me again. You know, speaking of like one of the greatest single issues of all time, we're doing a comic spotlight on giant size X-Men number one. Giant size X-Men, Right.
This is essentially that, obviously the X-Men existed before Giant Size X-Men in 1975, but you know, they became the team that we now know with Wolverine and Colossus and Storm and you know, Cyclops and other players going forward. That was kind of the team that we eventually got going forward. And it's the 50th anniversary is this year.
So we thought it'd be fun to go back, look at that, that first issue again, because Aaron, as I've said, and we'll talk about it when we talk about the comic spotlight is that kind of a pretty insignificant story. The significance of the story is really about how they got the team together. So again, we'll spend an entire episode talking about giant size X-Men. I think it'll be really fun.
And it's a fun way to celebrate, you know, Dave Cockrum and Len Wen and Chris Claremont in a way, because, you know, he eventually took over that team and took the X-Men train forward for the next 30 years. ah Yeah, we'll talk about that next week for episode 195 and Aaron were five episodes from episode 200, which is crazy to think about. So yeah, that'll do it for episode 194. Aaron, take and a five star rating and or review on Apple podcasts and Spotify helps the show a ton.
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