Setting Boundaries and Creating Space to Rest

Welcome back to another episode of the podcast. I'm so excited to be back with you. We have had so many great interviews here recently, but I'm back. We're going to talk. This is going to be actually a really quick episode. The reason being I'm recording this the Saturday before it's going to come out Monday. I'm normally never that close with a turnaround, but

It's very timely because today I want to talk a little bit about the importance of rest in your life. And rest, by the way, does not mean that you sit on the couch or that you lay in bed. Rest can be whatever actually rejuvenates you, whatever makes you feel a little bit more grounded, feel a little bit more peaceful, feel like you can actually accept joy in your life.

And I want to talk a little bit about non negotiables, things that No matter what's life, what life is looking like, you do them. Now, the reason I want to talk about both of these together, and I'm going to tell you a little life story recently, kind of update you what's been happening for me. I find that if you're not getting rest, you do not have the bandwidth to take on these non negotiables. These things that you do that support yourself, that keep you on track no matter what.

So for example, for me, non negotiables are taking a walk. drinking my water and getting enough protein. Those are basically the three right now at this moment that I focus on. And again, when I say taking a walk, that's taking a walk, a little bit of strength training, and then the water and getting the protein. Now, the reason I kind of thought about talking about this is because I always look at When I talk on the podcast, what are things that are happening for me?

And also I see happening a lot for patients or coaching clients. And then I say, yeah, let's talk a little bit about it. So background here, and I've been talking some on the podcast, but I have had a lot of trips here recently. I want to say, I think it was four trips in a two month period. So insanity, do not but. What, what I noticed here is that number one, I'm not someone that likes to travel anyway, I, if, if I drive somewhere, that's another thing, like a three, four hour drive.

Okay. But once it's a matter of having to find having a book, remote parking at, um, at the airport. We kind of live in an area where like Uber and Lyft don't come that much and so it's not so easy to just do those kind of things. So anyway, you got to do the parking, you've got to get there, you maybe have a layover or direct depending on where you're going.

And then on the other side, I'm figuring out A new airport, where are the Uber, the hotel, where are the resources there, you know, where am I going to get water bottles, all that kind of stuff. Okay, it's exhausting to me. And so, being an introvert, doing that, and then going to these conferences and trips where, by the way, I love talking to people, I love doing that, it's very interesting. I'm an introvert, but I love connecting with people, just talking to them one on one, things like that.

But what I noticed, though, at the end of it, is that... After all these months, definitely there's just a tiredness there. There's not that extra energy that I normally have. And so I really had to focus here. For a few weeks that along with my blood sugar mastermind ending on How am I gonna just a little bit recover and to me that looks like rest now rest to me This is my own definition. It means Not over working and it means getting rid of all the things that are not actually essential.

So I love seeing patients I love my coaching clients all that doesn't stop but for example things like the podcast interviews Stuff like that, that stuff I really had to scale back. So that was part of me resting. Part of me resting was asking my husband, Hey, you know, I want to listen to some stuff and just kind of clean and just kind of like and so he took the kids out and that's not something that I normally do.

I normally like to be part of all the family things, but there's just a time when you need a little bit of rest and rest to me means listening to a podcast and being able to walk some, all those kinds of things. The reason I bring up this rest thing is that I find if you're not resting enough that you're not able to take on. the non negotiables.

You hear me talk often about how I think that there are certain things in life that you need to kind of do an inventory for yourself. What are the things that when I do these things, life goes okay for me. I feel physically better. Maybe you don't get as many headaches. Maybe you feel like your energy level's great. Maybe you can get through the workday better. Maybe you don't have as much joint pain. What are those type of things where Like, I'm going to give you an example.

You don't want to, but you brush your teeth every day, right? That's like the classic example. Or, if you have kids, you might not want to get up if your baby is screaming and needing you, but you are going to get up and do it. You get up and do these things regardless. You go to work. These are non negotiables. You know if you need that paycheck, you're going to work, you're doing the things, all of that. Well, when it comes to our body and health, there should also be some non negotiables.

Now, these do not need to be a mile long. It took time for me to build out my list of non negotiables. So the first thing that I started with was water. I mean, it's a classic and that's okay, right? And, and those of you that don't know my story as much, I'm going to rehash it here for a second. I really started with, I was drinking water and then I did actually a few months of a lot of thought work in the sense of I was still doing all the overeating.

eating the chip bag in bed, all those things, the classic thing I can think of is I was eating this like big bag of Dorito chips in bed so like at night I'm exhausted and I'm sitting there thinking interesting like you're not hungry at all but you like the taste of this and you like the crunch and you're in bed and you probably should be asleep. sleep, but you're still watching Netflix, eating this food. You know, I just got really familiar. Like I wasn't judging myself anymore.

I just got familiar with it. So my first non negotiable was we're going to get the water in. And that required me building out a system that required me, getting two 32 ounce water bottles. I remember it's like, it's so funny. If you guys have followed me on social for a while, I, I was always posting at work. I used to post a lot more of these. I should do it more and I should do it again, but I would always take a picture of what the water bottle.

Like I had a. water bottle and then I had a bottle that had like a zero calorie flavor added to the water and then a coffee. So I had these three things and I, every morning it was like those three things got set up on my desk and that was part of my, me starting my health journey. So with time that's become one of my non negotiables. I, why is it a non negotiable? Because it's not just about weight loss, or things like that.

When I'm talking a lot during the day, I'm talking to patients, I'm talking to coaching clients, I'm running group sessions, things like that. My voice will hurt by the end of the day if I'm not drinking water. So I want that. I also know that I feel better. I don't bloat as much if I have water. So there's a million reasons why I get that in. So that was my first non negotiable. That's been years in the making. So if you're someone that doesn't have a clear sense.

And I feel like we talk about this topic a lot, but it's because I think it matters that much. If you don't have a clear sense of what your non negotiables are, I want you to start with what's a small thing that I can build out. that I think will make a really big difference for me. So water was number one. Um, the walking and the protein more came out of the fact that again, I would hurt if I wasn't being active. Like if I'm sitting in a chair for 16 hours, not a good look for me.

I, I feel like I'll start to get back pain. I'll start to get all achy. It just doesn't feel good for me. So I started to realize if I don't do it first thing in the morning, like I'm someone. I get up at 5 56 o'clock and I walk over the summer here. You've been hearing me. It's been outside

right now I got this like cheap walking pad that I hope every day I don't fall off of, but it's been good. I like it. And by the way, I can't recommend a walking pad enough. I'm not even going to like recommend the brand that I have, but, they all have, by the way, different, if you're looking them up, they have different weights. So you want to make sure if you look one up that, that it can have the weight that you want. So the point is this thing came now when it's cold outside, it's great.

I do my walk still. But my point is this, those are two things that just need to happen. Now, the third one is more recent in the past year or two, me making sure to get enough protein. And what's interesting is when life gets busy, of course, the first thing that I always notice will suffer. is the protein intake because that's the most recent addition.

That's the thing that I don't, while I work on it a lot and I'm really focused on it again, one of the warning signs to me that I need more rest is when getting the protein in gets harder. So what I want you to hear out of this is, you need to know what your triggers are that you need more rest. Or refocusing in your life. So for me, it's when I even think about that, Oh, I shouldn't do the walk in the morning. I should sit there and look up patients or do other work that I have.

Get back to a fax that I got or something else. No. No, no, no. Or when I sit there and I suddenly think, I don't know, I don't know how I'm going to get the protein and I just want to go eat all carbohydrates, all, all, you know, just all. And it's not even bad food, by the way. There's no good or bad food. There's no villainizing food anymore. I just don't feel good when I don't get protein in. So when these things happen, it is a sign for me to say, Hey, there's not enough rest.

You're not getting in enough of these things that are allowing this to be easy for you. So that is what I want you to think about

is, are you going through a period that is maybe particularly hard at work, which is fine. We all go through that. We all go through periods. Listen to my thing recently here, right? All the trips, all the traveling, still had my same work, still had a course ongoing, all these things happening. And that's fine. And we know how to support ourselves during it. But then are we making sure? To get enough of whatever it is that rejuvenates us.

For me, it is walking and listening to something a little bit. It's having a day here or there where there's not as much childcare. I say childcare, but you know, again, like being around my kid where you really need to make sure they're not hurting themselves, right? You're playing with them. You're running around, you're doing things. You're not, you're distracted, right? Like you're not. thinking about how am I going to be the best version of myself at this moment with protein?

That is not what's happening when I'm with my son. So I want you to think about, are you getting enough rest in your life? If not, how could you restructure things so that you could build up your energy a little bit more? And the reason we want to do this is because we want to be able to build out. What are these non negotiables for you? I used to come at people and say, you know, these things are non negotiable. And let's just start here.

And the reality is if you are really piping on your last energy wise, you are not going to sit there and be able to think about what are all the things I'm going to a hundred percent make sure to do daily. It's almost like opposite. I want you to think through that a little bit, or just to question yourself right now. Am I getting the rest that I need? What does rest even look like for me? And don't think that it has to look like someone else. I want to give an example.

There's a friend group that I'm part of and we all really rest differently. And we actually just had a conversation about this recently that not judging. when someone, one of, one of the people in the group was always kind of saying, Oh, you know, you need to, you need to rest. You need to lay down. You need to like, just do nothing. And that might not be what rest feels good. Like what rest, how rest feels good for everyone else in the group.

So it's almost like shaming if you keep throwing that on someone, right? Like, Oh, you need to lay down. You need to sit down. It's like, maybe that person doesn't want to do that. We all have those people in our life, right? You can think of those people that they love to, I use the word flutter. They just like to kind of like. Be up and doing stuff and they feel good with that. Let them do that. They're often the people that love making the Thanksgiving meal. They love making the holiday meal.

Like they feel so good about it. And the rest of us just want to go sit down and not do anything, but they actually get energy and joy out of it. That is rest for you. Potentially. Are you that person that is okay? Permission for you to enjoy that for you to. Use that as a time to restore yourself. Okay, so are you getting the rest that you need? And if you're in a period where you feel you're not, when are you going to plan to get it?

So I already knew as I was starting to go on all these trips, like I'm feeling my energy start to get down. I'm starting to feel all this start to go on, but I'm still gonna do the trips. I'm still gonna do the program. I love all the stuff I'm doing and then I knew, okay, there's gonna be this, these few weeks.

When I'm gonna clear the calendar by the way felt horrible felt horrible for me to do this I had to actually go to someone and cancel an interview I don't know if they're listening to the podcast if they listen weekly, but I Cancelled the interview and I had to tell him listen. I'm so sorry I've overextended myself because I just realized I needed a few weeks of not having to prepare for an interview or not having to interviews are actually I use a lot of energy for them.

I, I know no other way to describe it. I feel a little bit depleted at the end of them. And they can be the best conversation. I can love talking to that person. But they deplete me a little bit. And so, I felt horrible having to tell that person, but I had to do it in the name of me knowing. I need to get some rest because these non negotiables are starting to suffer.

I'm starting to notice that these things are getting hard to do, and that's not the way that I know that I feel my best, or where I continue to be able to do the things that I want to do. Alright, and then, question, so are you getting the rest? Then question number two is, what are your non negotiables?

What are the things that you know when you do them, you really stay on track? I used to say in the past it was doing a thought download daily. Writing out my food plan, things like that. And again, things change over time. They change what you're working on and how you're working on it. For me, it's a very interesting shift. And this is pro this is also evidenced by kind of what's changed as far as what I'm putting out and what I do. I don't.

I don't talk as much about, oh, everyone needs to journal daily. I think in the beginning it's very helpful. I think it helps you get connected, but something that we don't talk about with journaling is that if you are really into talking, that is actually a form of journaling. And so I realized I, Recently, in the past year or two, I've developed a lot of really close friendships, and I talk to my friends often. We talk on Marco Polo, it's a video messaging app.

And I realized, because I'm processing things when I'm talking to them, I'm very much so an auditory person. When I talk through things, I get ideas, I think through things. And I didn't need to sit there anymore and to journal as often because I was talking a lot more in connection with friendship. And so for you, it might be helpful when you write things out. You might have a friend that you like to talk to.

It might be, again, I always come back to the church example, maybe you sitting there, you're hearing What the pastor is saying or the priest and you're thinking, okay, and you're thinking through things. Maybe that is part of it for you. It looks different for everyone. But the reason that you know, I just stopped bringing that up as much. It's because for everyone it looks different as far as what a non negotiable for them is. So is it journaling for you? Is it movement? Is it water?

Is it protein? Is it making sure or do you actually get a great amount of protein but you struggle with fiber? Is your non negotiable that you hold up? boundaries in your life. For example, if maybe there's some family that keeps imposing or you have food pushers in your life, all of us have a unique nut to crack. So don't generalize to, Oh, this is what she's doing. So I'm gonna do the exact same thing.

My stuff's always changing and it's actually kind of beautiful because if you follow it long enough, you're like, Oh, it's kind of year to year. It's really different what she's saying because that's where I'm at, right? So again, just in summary here. Are you getting enough rest to support you being able to do your non negotiables? Do you even know what they are? Or do you need to start to think through them and very slowly build on them?

And you sort of periodically every few months you come back to, and does this still serve me? And am I still doing it? And what, what do I like? What do I want to change and what do I want to keep the same and you kind of get to go through that process for yourself. All right, I'm gonna leave it here. I hope you're all having an amazing time.

We are soon coming up to in the U. S. our Thanksgiving time which always makes me think a lot about gratitude and I just again want to give a big thank you. I I have been thinking a lot recently here. I'm so grateful to all of you that have done my life courses this past year. This is actually a big moment. I founded my clinic this past year and I ran two masterminds. First it was that metabolic and mindset mastermind. And then we just had the blood sugar mastermind.

And next year is going to look a lot different. And I just want to kind of, you know, just say thank you to everybody that, that has supported that's either part of the clinic. I appreciate my patients so greatly. I love working closely with them if you're listening. And I also am so grateful for everyone that has gone through these programs that I'm offering.

It's. They would not be able to be these live courses and look the way that they have this past year if everyone hadn't been coming to calls and participating. And I just want to give a big thank you in case I don't fully get to say that in next week's episode. Thank you so much for being part of the community for giving me feedback. When you email me, you let me know what resonates. You let me know updates. I appreciate that so much. And I just want to give A really big thank you to all of you.

I'm incredibly grateful for the community that's around me and how much you all support me and each other and how I get to be part of that. So thank you so much and I hope you have a really great rest of the week.