William Porter: "Alcohol Explained”

It was through his book that I first realized I wasn't abnormal In fact , my body acted as was to be expected with alcohol but also I no longer felt alone . William's book answered so many questions for me and it was the beginning of my journey to finding freedom from alcohol . Welcome , William , to Not Drinking Today podcast .

William , can we start by you telling us a bit about your drinking days and how it led you to write the book and get to where you are today ?

This was back in the the god early 90s . It would have been um and I stopped smoking eventually , but I obviously I just kept drinking um and I think I sort of kept drinking with his you know his approach in mind . It was quite logical and quite factual and quite analytical .

So I think over the years I did a lot of drinking but really thinking about why I was doing it , um , and anyway . So to fast forward the next 25 years , my drinking got heavier and heavier and heavier . I was always a binge drinker , so I drink really heavily at weekends .

And then I got to the sort of point where I found whenever I was drinking alcohol I woke up in the middle of the night , which actually I found out there's a good physiological reason for . But I remember reading a book where one of the characters keeps doing this and he started to keep some beers back to drink in the night when he woke up .

So I started doing that . So I'd wake up in the night , unable to get back to sleep , and have a couple of drinks to go back to sleep and then that kind of breaks down that door between morning drinking .

So when I say I was a weekend drinker , I would literally I'd start Thursday night , friday lunchtime and I would drink through , fall asleep , wake up , drink again , fall , and so I was literally constantly drinking .

And the problem is then , nine times out of ten , you wake up feeling awful on a Sunday and start drinking again to get rid of it , and then that leads on to being in a complete state on Monday and ringing in sick , and then , of course , you're sat at home on your own with nothing to do , so you just start drinking again .

So it was getting more and more unmanageable and it was February 2014 . I sort of clambered out of five or six days of constant drinking . I hadn't been into work , my wife and kids had left and sort of came out the other side of that thinking I can't keep doing this , I absolutely have to stop .

So that was , you know , it's a brief gallop through my own story .

What do you think the final straw was ?

So I think I had to just go through that period and sort of crawl out the other side and think I can't , I just can't keep going like this , but it's a really deeply unpleasant place to be in when you're there . It's terrible absolutely so .

So to be able to turn up somewhere where there's people talking about it was quite a huge relief . Um , I found the 12 I don't mind doing stuff if I can see a reason for it um , and I couldn't quite work out how the 12 steps were going to stop me wanting to drink alcohol .

Um , and I tried at one point and it kind of felt like I was going through the motions a bit . But anyway , be that as it may , what I kind of discovered was a lot of people in AA , when they were turning up as new members , they were like asking , you know , they had a lot of questions Like why has this happened to me ?

Why can he or she drink normally and I can't , you know , know what is different with me or this ? And I kind of started to realize I had not all the answers , but quite a lot of them , just from um , you know . For example , going back to waking up in the night .

When I was waking up in the middle of the night I was like why do I keep doing that when I'm drinking ? Because , also , you notice it more when you're a binge drinker , because after a couple of days not drinking I would be sleeping through the night fine . And it seemed to be alcohol that was triggering this middle of the night insomnia .

So I kind of researched into it . So this kind of research went on virtually the entire time I was drinking . So best part of a quarter of a century , not with a view to writing a book , but just for my own curiosity really .

So when I came to stop , although I didn't have quite all the answers , I think I had a lot of information that enabled me to stop . One of the most important things was I'd kind of worked out how alcohol was affecting me and how it was then making me feel better .

And I knew for a fact , again from my own experience , that if I stopped for long enough I would start to feel much better . And I think that's one of the scariest things when you're drinking at that level , because you try and stop and you feel absolutely dreadful . So your immediate mindset is this is how I feel when I don't drink .

So when I don't drink I'm going to feel like this forever , and it's you know you can't manage it , you can't maintain that level of panic and anxiety over the long term . But I think , knowing that I've come out the other side of it , that my sleep would get better and I'd feel better than I ever did when I was drinking .

That was the kind of thing , and that came from a place of knowledge . You know , understanding the whole dynamic with alcohol is what gave me that certainty that I had to stick with it and things would get better .

And then , of course , having stopped , a lot of other things kind of fell into place and I started to build up a picture of probably a very different picture to that to which society generally has about alcohol and drinking . And that's really what the book was about .

I didn't even mind getting up and saying I was an alcoholic . It was a means to an end , and if it was going to help me find a way out , I'd give it a go .

So I stayed for a few months , but when I found Any Grace , I knew that was where my heart and soul were and that's where I was going to find the answers and the peace that I needed find the answers and the peace that I needed . So this brings me to my question for you .

In AA , it's all about alcoholics and alcoholism , but in my work now and in my life , I don't relate to that . I do , however , believe that we're all different . So this is just my beliefs and what I feel is true for me . What do you feel about the term alcoholic and alcoholism , william , and does it even exist ?

I kind of used it just to describe alcohol dependency , but the reason it's fallen out of favor is because it kind of puts the problem on the individual . You're talking that you are the alcoholic and obviously we don't use similar terms to smoking .

You know you're addicted to nicotine and I think there was a lot of history behind which I don't think we need to go into all the detail of it , but it was seen as a personal problem , so either a spiritual or personality failing . Then it was a genetic failing , but always the emphasis has been on the individual having the problem .

I think what we're understanding more and more now is that's not the case . It's an failing , but always the emphasis has been on the individual having the problem . I think what we're understanding more

and more now is that's not the case . It's an addictive substance and if you take enough of it for long enough , you will become addicted to it . It takes a long time in comparison to other drugs to get addicted to , so I don't want to go down a complete rabbit hole here .

But one of the key parts of addiction is your subconscious , and I'm using the term subconscious here in quite a specific and quite a narrow way .

People quite often refer to the subconscious as anything they do that they don't quite understand the reason for , but I'm using it in a very specific and narrow way , which is a part of our brain that automates reactions . So we have instinctive behavior , okay , and some instinctive behavior is genetic .

We're born with it , and an example of that is blinking when something flashes towards your eyes quite quickly . So if you have a baby and you flick towards their face , they will blink . It's to protect the eyes . They're too little to have learned that it's . They're born with it . They're born with this instinctive behavior .

But there's also learned instinctive behavior , and an example of that I think I give in the book is when you're driving . So when you drive , obviously you extend your right leg to slow the vehicle down okay , because that's pushing on the brake .

Then if you're a passenger in a vehicle and the driver's driving either too fast or too close to the vehicle in front . You're feeling nervous . You find your right leg keeps tensing . Okay , because you're . It's an automated reaction .

However many hours you've been driving for , however many millions of times you've tensed your right leg to apply pressure on the brake to slow the vehicle down , your brain's learned and absorbed that and it's triggering that automatic reaction . But you're not born with it .

You know , if you put a baby in a car and start driving too close to the vehicle in front , it's not going to start trying to break the vehicle . It's learnt . So what happens with addiction is , when you take a drug , your brain creates and excretes a huge array of chemicals , drugs and hormones , things like adrenaline and cortisol and endorphins and serotonin .

All of this stuff is naturally occurring in your brain and it's a very complicated process . But your brain works by way of something called homeostasis , which is a balance of all these things . So when you introduce alcohol , which is a sedative , your brain takes steps to counter it .

Okay , so it's changing so that it can work under the stating effects of the alcohol . But when the alcohol wears off , then there's like a corresponding feeling of anxiety . And now how I think of it . You know the old-fashioned weighing scales , with like a bar hung in the middle and the two baskets .

If you think very briefly , like very simply , there's sedatives , which calm things down and relax us and anesthetize us , and then there's stimulants which wake you up and make you feel more alert . If you imagine your brain's the weighing scale , and it's got stimulants in one basket and depressants in the other .

So when you take alcohol which is a depressant , it tips up in that way . So your brain puts some into the stimulant basket to weigh things up , but when the alcohol wears off it then tips the other way towards the stimulant side . So that's why I say when you drink alcohol , whatever sedating effect it gives you , there's a corresponding feeling of anxiety .

When it wears off . It's an unpleasant feeling . It makes you feel uptight , stops you sleeping , all of that . And there's two ways you can get rid of it . One is to wait a few days for your brain chemistry to get back to normal .

But of course , as you and I know , there's a far quicker way and that's just to take another drink , because your brain's geared up to work into this under the sedating effects of the alcohol . But the alcohol's gone . So putting another drink in is the quickest way to sort of rectify that balance as soon as possible .

That's the great pleasure regular drinkers get from their daily drink . That lovely feeling of calm and relaxation is just countering the feeling of anxiety it's caused in the first place . So every action there's an equal opposite reaction . So whatever calming effect you get from an alcoholic drink , you get a corresponding feeling of anxiety when it wears off .

Okay , and that's true of most drugs , so nicotine as well . It's the other way around . It's a stimulant , but when it wears off you feel out of balance , you feel a bit groggy , not really with it , and another dose makes you feel normal again , so bright and alert , and it's a nice feeling to relieve it .

So that's the mechanics of the physiological side of addiction . But of course people don't get addicted immediately . You know , I started smoking for quite an extended period . I smoked only at weekends , without , when I was out with my friends . So the question is then well , are you saying that that chemical side , that physiological side , wasn't kicking in ?

And the answer is it was . Every dose of nicotine or alcohol was causing that corresponding unpleasant feeling which another dose would get rid of . But the problem is , there's lots of reasons in life why we don't feel good .

You might just have a bad night's sleep , you might have an argument with your partner , you might have a bad day at work , bills you can't pay , the kids play it up , and most of the time we just get on with things . We don't feel particularly good , but we just have to get on with it .

But with addiction with drugs , this very specific feeling that can be relieved by another dose of the drug after a period of time , your brain starts to relate it , the subconscious starts to tie it all up and when this specific bad feeling kicks in , your brain interprets it as I want another dose of the drug , when you've had enough doses , so that your brain

makes that link . You are , in inverted commas , addicted . That's when you have to keep doing so that your brain makes that link . You are , in inverted commas , addicted . That's when you have to keep doing it and you can never backtrack because it's learned behavior , okay .

So the problem here is so , if you think about it , the brain , so the subconscious , works by cause and effect . So the cause being you taking a drug and the effect being when it's felt , when it hits your bloodstream , because we feel the effects of the blood when it hits our bloodstream .

So when you've got substances like nicotine , there's four ways we can get a drug into our system . We can inject it , we can smoke it , we can snort it or we can swallow it . Okay , in terms of how quickly it takes to hit our bloodstream . And , don't forget , you feel the effects of it when it hits your bloodstream .

Obviously , injecting it puts it straight into your bloodstream . Snorting it and inhaling it , it goes into your lungs or your sinuses , where it's then immediately absorbed into the bloodstream . So it's very quick . But when you drink it , it can take up to or swallow it like a pill .

It can take up to 20 minutes to go into your bloodstream , so it's a slow up . Um , and on the other side of it , have you heard of something called a half-life of drugs ? oh , I haven't so the half-life of a drug is how long it takes for the amount of it to drop to half in your system . Okay , okay , so you've got I don't know you .

You know you drink a cup of coffee with 100 milliliters of caffeine in it . The question is , how long does it take to drop to 50 ? And you measure that as the half-life . Now nicotine , for example , has a very fast half-life . It's two hours . So when you smoke a cigarette or hit a vape you get that very marked increase and it drops off quite quickly .

And then you have have another dose and so it's really noticeable . It's quite that up and down quite quickly . So your brain very quickly learns I need another dose to get rid of that bad feeling and the addiction takes hold quite quickly . But with alcohol not only do you drink it , so it goes up very slowly .

It's got a five hour half life , so much than nicotine . So if you think , with alcohol you've got these slow ups and slow downs , so it takes years , often decades , for your brain to make the link . So this is one of the reasons people always thought there was in inverted commas an alcoholic , because there was something wrong with them . Somehow .

It's because some people addicted . A lot people can drink for years and not become addictive addicted but that's purely because of this , the way we consume alcohol and the way it wears off , so it can take years and years to become addicted to it .

So I think , as I said , it was a question with a lot of kind of concepts so interesting , yeah , yeah but this is the thing , you know . For years people have looked at it and said well , look , lots and lots of people drink without a problem . This small number of people drink with a problem .

Therefore it must be the problem with the individual and not the drinker . Whereas actually now we understand the mechanics , we know that anyone can become addicted to alcohol . It just takes time and obviously the more you drink , the more likely you are to become addicted .

Because if you're constantly waking up feeling awful and you start drinking in the morning , you very quickly become addicted . Your brain makes that link very quickly . Most people don't , you know . You said yourself you didn't even think about drinking when you woke up in the middle of the night . It's just not something we do .

And in the same , most people don't think about drinking in the morning . When people have a couple of bottles of wine or a few drinks the night before , they wake up feeling awful , they're tired , you know they've got that anxiety and a drink would make them feel a whole world better .

But we just don't do it so it doesn't enter their mind , which kind of brings us on to craving a bit . But that's just another aspect of addiction . But that's why , um , alcohol takes so long to become addicted to . So I think that's what we're understanding

now . That word alcoholic and alcoholism was assuming there was a problem with the individual , whereas we know now that isn't the case . If you drink enough , anyone can become addicted , if they drink enough regularly enough .

It can be binge drinking , drinking every few days , it can be being not able to give up when you want to . So , in regards to the amount of time it takes to become addicted , would it be quicker or slower ? The amount of time it takes to become ?

But when we do drink because we drank a lot , you would wake up feeling pretty bad . Because you know when I was giving that example of the weighing scale , if you think and you know and I said as well , for every action there's an equal opposite reaction .

If you have a glass of wine , the sedating effects fairly minor and the anxiety that kicks in afterwards will be fairly minor . If , like you and I , you're drinking six , eight , a dozen drinks , that's quite a lot of intoxication and that's quite a lot of anxiety when it wears off . And of course , if you're , that's friday night .

So if you're waking up saturday afternoon you start drinking again , that first drink will really make you think , oh , I feel so much better because you've got all that residual anxiety . That's the chemical hangover from the previous drinks . So again , it's really noticeable .

But the benefit you and I have , I think , as binge drinkers and I certainly found this because I would regularly stop and I'd feel rubbish for a few days and then I'd start to feel gradually better . Like I say , that ingrained in my mind that the first few days a week were going to be awful .

I knew I would come out the other side of it , whereas when you're drinking regularly , you're constantly in that cycle and you don't quite know how good you will feel when you finally come out the other side of it .

But then after my third child , my early 40s , my drinking ramped up and I went from having one drink per night for a while and then over the next few years it increased to over a bottle and then finally to two or more bottles per night , and that was when I knew it had gotten out of hand . But that was the tail end of my drinking .

I'd always known that binging wasn't good and from my first drink ever , at 18 , I was a binge drinker . So I knew it wasn't good .

Your brain's a great adapter and it adapts . And it adapts by releasing more , more stimulants and doing more things to try and counter the sedating effects of the alcohol , with the event the effect that it becomes better and better at countering it , so you can drink more and more . But you need more and more to get the same effect .

So if you're drinking to get this level of bars , you're constantly having to up the dose in order to get there , as your brain becomes better at trying to counter it yeah , so that's the tolerance building .

You need to have a serious amount in you to even start to relax again .

I did a post on Instagram long ago and it was the analogy was like and this is how it felt like to me . And it was the analogy was like and this is how it felt like to me . It's like as a drinker , as a heavy drinker .

It was like I was on a stormy sea holding on to a raft , and the sea is like life and all its ups and downs and all the stuff it throws at you . And the raft was alcohol and you're kind of clinging on to it and it's the only thing that's keeping you kind of afloat in this crazy storm driven sea .

And someone's saying stop drinking is like saying to let go of this raft and it's really difficult to do . But when I did it , what I found was I was actually only standing in like two foot of water , so I was like clinging onto it , thinking I needed it , and actually when I let it go , I didn't need it at all .

I could teach you like numbering one , two , three and four , and I could teach you that two plus two is four . That would be the work of a few minutes , but I could never unteach you that Once I'd given you that knowledge , you would have it for life . Because it's true , it's just , you can't lose knowledge that you've got .

When your brain makes the link between an unpleasant feeling that kicks in when one dose of a drug wears off as needing another dose of that drug to get rid of it , it's a hunger for it . So , like you have a drink , it wears off your brain saying I want another drink . It's interpreting it as I want another drink or a cigarette or a vape or whatever .

When you've learned that you can never unlearn it . So you can quit drinking or vaping or whatever , for you know weeks , months , years , decades , but as soon as you take another dose it will wear off , leaving an unpleasant feeling , and your brain will jump in and say , oh , I remember that feeling and I remember exactly how to get rid of it .

So it's theoretically possible to moderate , and some people do do it , but it's not what we think it will be , because we imagine it , you know , like nonchalantly pouring a glass of wine , having a couple of sips , having a nice buzz off it and then just putting it to one side and not wanting a glass for another few days or weeks or whatever .

But the reality is timing it , wanting it , not having it because it's not the right time . Then you have it . It goes far too quickly . You want another one , but you're not allowed it and you're dominated by alcohol as much as you ever were when you're drinking .

Okay , you're not drinking so much and you're not intoxicated so much , but it's just there all the time waiting for that next dose . And that's the reality of moderating .

And it's the same for , like smoking , most people when they smoke or vape not everyone , but a lot of people they start , like I did , just smoking at weekends or evenings or whatever , and it just grows and grows and grows , and then the , the first choice with that , and it's the same with alcohol .

The usual nature of drug addiction is experiment , learn to enjoy it . It becomes necessary . And then we start to realize we're addicted , so we need to do something about it . And the first thing we do is try and moderate or cut down . And then only when we realize we can't do that do we quit .

Because logically , you're sat there thinking okay , I'm drinking two bottles of wine every night , but six years ago it was just one glass , so surely I can go back to one glass . You can't because your brain's geared up for two bottles .

Now you've got that part of your subconscious kicking in , so as soon as one drink wears off you want another , and another , and another . But logically you think you should be able to go back to it . And of course , when you're drinking or smoking heavily or more heavily , you don't . Part of you doesn't want to quit .

Part of you can't imagine going through life without this substance , to kind of take the edges off things . So part of you doesn't want to . So there's always going to be that toing and froing and it feels like moderating is like the kind of the compromise I don't have to quit , but I'm not going to get all the bad .

Unfortunately it just doesn't work that way . But this is one of the heartbreaking things about drinking is , when people realize it's a problem , their first , most of the time thing is to try and moderate it , and that opens up years of trial and error and frustration and misery , as it constantly goes wrong , as it does for most people .

Like I say , it's theoretically possible because no one makes you drink .

And if you say , right , I'm only drinking one drink a day or a week , fine , but it doesn't work because you want more and you're not going to be happy while you're sat there wanting something you can't have oh , moderation , you said it opens up years of trial and error , and it was years for me .

But I think moderation is something we all try or at least think about before we quit .

Because logically like I've said already , logically you feel like you should be able to , because years ago you drunk a lot less and you think , well , if I just get in the habit of drinking less , I should be OK . Obviously it's addiction . Habit doesn't work that way .

But to stand up and say I'm alcoholic is saying I'm different to other people , I can never drink again and that's why that is quite a powerful thing and people become very heated when you suggest there's no such thing . Because that's the thing keeping them sober .

Because if you say there's no such thing as an alcoholic , their brain immediately goes to okay , I can drink normally again . They're opening that door , whereas for me I know I can never drink normally again .

It's not because there's anything inherently wrong or different about me , it's just I have a history of quarter of a century very heavy drinking and I triggered certain things and associations in my brain that I can never reverse . So I'm not going to ever drink again .

it . I kind of think of recovery . I often say it's it's like a buffet rather than a fixed menu , so you should be going in . Everyone is different and one approach might work well for one person , one approach might work well for another person . Most of it can take bits out of everything . Like I said , there was bits in ai I really liked .

I've read a huge amount of quit lit and I don't think there's a single one I've read that hasn't had something in there . That's abuse . So you can pick and choose your own , your own thing .

I think the only dangerous thing some approaches do which I do disagree with is when they say if , if it doesn't work , you're doing it wrong , try again , whereas I think what they should be saying is if it doesn't work , try something else , because there's an awful lot out there and , like I say , most people will benefit from a mishmash of bits and pieces from

all different things . So it's worth trying a lot and , you know , building your own bespoke sobriety oh yes , it's a buffet , not a fixed menu .

Most people haven't heard of that . So , william , if someone came to you and asked how to stop drinking or the best way to stop , what advice would you give to them ?

So you quite often , a lot of people will say if you want to quit smoking , drinking , vaping , you know , make a big , long list of all the reasons you want to quit and sort of grit your teeth and concentrate on those reasons .

It's actually for me more powerful to make a list of all the reasons you want to keep doing it and why you think it's going to be hard to stop , and then do a real deep dive on each of them and see if it's true or not . You know , just to . I know we're drawing to an end now , but you know , very briefly , a big thing is it relaxes me .

Well , it doesn't , because it wears off , leaving a corresponding feeling of anxiety that then needs another dose and another and another . So it's not relaxing you , it's doing the complete opposite and as your brain releases cortisol , which is a stress hormone , and adrenaline although mentally you're dulled your body goes into overdrive , massive stress mode .

Your heart rate goes up , your blood pressure goes up , so it's doing the opposite . So you know , and , oh , I need it to enjoy a night out again . When you start to understand how the brain works , how your brain releases endorphins which make you feel good when you're socializing , you start to understand that you don't need it .

So for me , I would say the first thing don't even worry about stopping , get the information first . You don't need it . So for me , I would say the first thing don't even worry about stopping , get the information first . You don't need to quit , like for me .

I was thinking about alcohol and my sobriety was slowly building up for probably 20 years before I actually quit . You can start building that knowledge . So I would say get curious , start to really understand the dynamics , because for me , that's how it unlocked the door for me .

So the work I've done in through this naked mind was so effective at helping me change my thoughts and beliefs . No one could convince me now that alcohol has any benefit whatsoever .

William , I could keep you on here for a couple more hours at least . It's been so informative and interesting listening to your wisdom and knowledge . I'll have to get you back on the podcast , but before you go , could you just briefly tell us about Alcohol Explained 2 ?

So as I was stopping and learning more and getting into contact with people , I was updating it quite regularly . But then a lot of people started asking about an audiobook . So I got an audiobook done , but then , which is fine , but then that stops you being able to update it .

So I thought , well , it's fine , I'll keep writing , keep doing my blog posts , and when I've got enough to that I think I want to do , I'll do like a second edition and get it re-recorded . So I correlated all this stuff , um , and it was like another book , so it was too much to do an update , so I ended up doing a second book .

So it's almost it's not quite like this , but it it's kind of like more about being sober and staying sober than the actual mechanics behind addiction .

He's a wealth wealth of knowledge . Thank you so much for being our guest on Not Drinking Today podcast . It's been an absolute pleasure , william .