Happy New Year from NDT!

I want to celebrate that you're listening , that you're making a change in your life and , whether or not you are drinking alcohol or not , the fact that you're listening , the fact that you're here and you are taking responsibility , is huge .

Part of the reason that I am actually coming up to three years alcohol free this New Year's Eve , and part of the reason for that success is looking at the gains , looking at my wins , because if I don't set a time to actually go over and look at them , I tend to forget and the negative takes over , which I'm sure many of you can understand .

The negative self-talk we have is really loud and most of our thoughts in a day are negative rather than positive .

So we have to really train ourselves to focus on the more positive side , and I don't mean oh , everything's wonderful positive , I mean looking at how far you've come , acknowledging the small steps that you've taken , acknowledging that you're in a different place to last year , acknowledging that by listening to this you are changing your neural pathways , all those sorts

of things . For me , I can acknowledge that I truly do not worry about what people think of me anymore . Now that's massive , and for years I've known that , oh , don't worry what people think . But from the work I've done in the last three years , I truly believe it .

Now I can see that it's probably only been the last six months that I've started to really see how effective it is to not worry what other people think . And the only way I've got there is from all the self-healing and the work I've done in the last three years . I've got there is from all the self-healing and the work I've done in the last three years .

So that's a huge thing for me to reflect on as well as I'm learning to trust myself . I'm learning to love myself . Now , these are things that are going to take time , but when I look back at the last year or the last three years , I can see how I really am changing my relationship with myself and that is a huge gain .

Also in the last year , I can see that my kids are trusting me . I am there for them so much more than I was a few years ago , and I can see that they're calmer and happier around me , so that's another huge gain for me . I've also completed three groups through this Naked Mind , where I coached for a year in each group , and that was incredible .

The amount I have learned in this last year by doing that is huge , and also the people I got to meet has been life-changing to me . Now that is such an incredible gain . I could not have imagined that . I couldn't have imagined that three years ago , like that was not on my radar , and neither was having a podcast where we're well over a hundred episodes .

We're in the Apple top 50 for self-improvement . I mean , these are things that I didn't foresee . I did not even have them in my goals for my life up until I did stop drinking , and they're just things that the pieces of the puzzle have come together over the last few years .

So so I'm stopping to reflect on that too and just to feel so blessed that I get to do this . Does this mean my whole year has been great ?

No , I have moments , just like everyone else , and I have struggles , and I've got quite a few at the moment , but I deal with them differently and very occasionally I think it would be nice to block them out , but there's no way I would do that . I know now that the result of using alcohol to block out a problem makes the problem worse .

There's no doubt in my mind about that . I also have all the tools I use , so if I do feel low or anxious or worried about something , I can work through that , and that has been life changing . I've created memories that I remember .

I mean that's huge and I've made new friendships , which is really really exciting , and I've strengthened some old friendships as well . So end of the year is just a really good time to reflect on how far you've come , and it's particularly useful if you're stuck in a bit of a cycle of you know I'm still drinking , I'm not having success .

Have a look at where you were last year or where were you before you listened to the first podcast . Are you more open now ? Are you thinking about having a break ? What has changed for you ? Are you more aware when you're drinking ? These are all really massive gains and we've got to start somewhere and this is a process that is baby steps .

So really acknowledge those baby steps . So , like I said , this New Year's Eve will be my third year alcohol free . It'll be my three year anniversary . I'm , at this point , not doing anything for New Year's Eve , and that is absolutely fine by me . It will depend what my son does . He's 15 . He wants to go out .

I don't want him to , so it could be that I'm just trying to keep him home and make that exciting . But I don't miss New Year's Eve big parties , in fact , I really don't recall ever having a good one . They were always messy . I could never get home after them . I mean , that's another gain being able to drive everywhere . That is so good .

Not having to wait for an hour at 1am or midnight on New Year's Day to get home just to get a train or a taxi or whatever it was , oh , and the amount of money I've saved because of that Huge but yeah , my three years . I want to thank everyone that's listened to this podcast because you have helped me in that journey .

You have given me a reason to embrace this journey I'm on and to share it . And in sharing it I feel stronger . And I keep doing this because I know how much it helps other people and I know how much it helps myself . So thank you to you and thank you to Bella , who is my partner in crime , and both of us are here to help you too .

Maybe you're interested in stopping drinking on New Year's Eve , like I did , or maybe you want a clean start in January or February . Well , both Bella and I offer programs , one-on-one coaching . We have all sorts of things on offer to help you . I could not have done this alone . That I know for sure .

So you can find information about us on our websites Bella's is isabellafergusoncomau and my website is glassfulfilledcomau . We have different things group coaching , courses , individual coaching . I have a book club . We've got things that are running constantly and they offer community connection and coaching the three things that have been life-changing for my journey .

And maybe you just want to keep listening to the podcast , and that is fantastic . We absolutely love our listeners . We love getting feedback from you . Please let us know if there's episodes you'd like us to cover next year . We'd love to delve into anything that's of interest to you guys . So please reach out to us and let us know .

And I just thought I'd give you some tips for New Year's Eve . So one tip I have for stopping drinking now really , really hard , as we know . And if you are still struggling to get that first day under your belt , I want to tell you about something called embrace the suck . It pretty much sums up how I got through that first night .

I just had to embrace the fact that it was going to suck and it was going to be depressing and hard and miserable , and it was . But I knew that . And so by knowing that it was going to feel like that , I also knew that it wasn't going to always be like that .

So that was going to be my night one , because that was where I was having trouble getting to , and so on that New Year's Eve three years ago , I just embraced the fact it was going to be pretty crappy and it was yucky . It felt really uncomfortable . My sleep was horrible , but I got through it .

And then , waking up knowing I'd done night one , oh , the momentum that that built . You know it was so much easier for me then to go on to the next night . I also had a plan . You know I planned that that was going to be my last day . That worked for me . That does not work for everyone . You don't have to have a big date .

You don't even have to count your days . For me , I did want a big date . I did want to count my days and I did plan for it . So I also planned to have a good dinner , nice dessert , watch a good movie and go to bed early .

I always like reading , so I took a book to bed and it was like I said it wasn't great , but I knew it wasn't going to be . And it got easier after that because I had that momentum . But if you can embrace the suck and know that that feeling is not going to last , that can be really helpful in getting through that first night .

Now , if you have nearly stopped and you're worried about New Year's Eve , there's a couple of things I can give you tips on . So first of all , pick and choose . You don't have to do anything you don't want to If it would protect you and your alcohol . Freedom to not go somewhere . Don't go . Have a night at home .

You know you can watch something on TV , the fireworks , or have some friends over or do something where you don't feel it's risky . Protecting your sobriety is number one and I did that for a long time . I still do pick and choose , because I will always put myself first in social situations . Another tip is leave early , you know , if you feel uncomfortable .

If you do go and you feel uncomfortable , leave . Or if you feel that people are getting messy , leave . Or if you feel a bit tempted , leave , have a plan to leave , drive if you can and make an exit . I mean , I've left quite a few things . Maybe I've told one person , but I haven't made a big deal of it .

Most people had no clue I'd left and I got out of there early . Another idea is , when you get there , grab a glass and fill it with something a soft drink , a mocktail , whatever it is . So you've got a drink in your hand . So you don't get that uncomfortable . What do you want to drink ? You know . Be prepared in that way .

If that's something that helps , you have a good excuse ready . I'm driving , I'm on antibiotics , I'm doing a dry January , whatever it is . Have the excuse ready , because most people will let it go if you say something like that Eat before you go out . I cannot stress enough how much feeling full stopped me drinking .

I was a big eating is cheating fan back when I was a drinker , so doing the opposite really worked for me Eat before you go out , eat as soon as you get there , whatever it looks like , but fill yourself up so that you're not going to feel like drinking . That might not work for you , but it is something that worked for me .

If you're kind of on the fence about drinking , do some lengthening . Get there and if you were going to reach for a drink , wait half an hour . I mean , even if you wait 10 minutes or an hour , whatever it is , lengthen that time before you have that first drink . That's a really good tool that you can use .

Going forward , you know , lengthening , making it maybe five minutes one day , 10 minutes the next , build up until you're not having anything to drink , but at an event , lengthen it , give it half an hour before you have that drink and , lastly , play it forward Again . That was a massive tool for me , you know .

Play it forward past that first hour of feeling good , feeling happy . What happens after that For me ? By the second hour I was getting pretty , pretty tipsy , starting to say some silly things . By the third or fourth hour I was over that . I'd crossed that line . I was pretty messy and nothing got better after that . It went downhill .

Then I would wake up in the night feeling like shit , you know , really angry at myself and sleeping terribly . And then I would wake up in the night feeling like shit , you know , really angry at myself and sleeping terribly . And then I'd wake up in the morning , hungover and just beating myself up . So I played that forward . I don't want to feel like that .

So if I went out to a party or something and I was in two minds , I'd just play it forward after an hour or two . It's not going to look good . Minds , I just play it forward . After an hour or two it's not going to look good , it's going to start to look bad and the next day is going to be horrible , etc . Etc .

So use that as a tool If you're going out on use even you're not sure if you're going to drink or not . Play it forward .

But other than that , just keep on plugging in , keep on doing the work , keep on listening , plugging in , keep on doing the work , keep on listening , keep taking small steps towards your goal of alcohol freedom , of freedom from alcohol .

As someone that has been doing this process for about six years , I've been alcohol free for three , so I've been where you are . I know what it feels like , and I know that it is possible to have freedom from alcohol . So keep listening , keep engaging online in communities , keep doing the work , keep listening to Quitlit books .

It is all going to help you in this journey and have a wonderful new year . I hope 2025 is everything you want it to be , bella , and I wish you all a very happy new year and thank you . Thank you again for being our listeners and for supporting us and for just being amazing . Here's to 2025 .