Have you ever had a romance that seemed almost fated, where supernatural events and strange occurrences led up to your meeting? As if some force beyond human comprehension was directing events, from those first butterflies in your stomach to the inevitable heartbreak? Maybe it's not your fault, and maybe you aren't a failure as a person and a lover. Maybe it's aliens. This week we're taking a look at two books by therapist Eve Lorgen: Alien Love Bites and the follow-up The Dark Side of Cupid . D...
Dec 08, 2021•1 hr 52 min•Ep. 34
This week we're taking a look at the mysterious phenomenon known as "Havana syndrome." In 2016 a group of American diplomats in Havana, Cuba reported the sudden onset of debilitating physical symptoms accompanied by a loud, metallic buzzing sound. Later Canadian diplomats would experience the same thing. Now, there have been hundreds of reports of Havana syndrome all over the world, including Washington, D.C. While initially reported as "sonic attacks", in years since it seems that no one can ag...
Dec 01, 2021•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 33
This week we're looking at one of the flat-out weirdest things we've ever come across. A 2016 episode of MTV's "Catfish". A Kentucky woman named Kayla is contacted by a woman in Florida who says she's been having regular conversations with Kayla's father. The problem is, Kayla's father has been dead for years and the events surrounding his death are absolutely grisly. You probably think you have this one figured out already, don't you? That's what we thought too. That's what everyone thinks. You...
Nov 24, 2021•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 32
To bid farewell to the ascended masters, we're talking about the dumbest, largest, and most terrifyingly prevalent conspiracy theory we've ever heard of: NESARA/GESARA and Saint Germain's World Trust. Combining masters, space saviors, aliens, 9/11, financial scams, and complete ignorance of what numbers are, the NESARA conspiracy theory alleges that a bill was passed in secret in 2001 which, among other things, outlaws all debt, income tax and the United States Government as a whole, sends lawye...
Nov 17, 2021•1 hr 54 min•Ep. 31
This week we're taking a look at one of America's great traditions: the write-in presidential candidate. In this case, it's five-time presidential write-in candidate for The Light Party Da Vid Raphael, the Limberbutt McCubbins of the Ascended Master Teachings. Based out of San Francisco, Da Vid Raphael MD (AKA Dolph Bruce Ornstein) runs on a platform of ascension, "wholistic healing," turning Alcatraz into a "global peace center", and a public TV channel for something called "Artainment" where h...
Nov 10, 2021•1 hr 29 min•Ep. 30
In 1977, a mysterious voice took over the TV news broadcast across southern England. This voice claimed to be Vrilon of the Ashtar Command, a group of higher dimensional beings which include Lord Sananda (space Jesus) and Ashtar Sheran, and serve as the "Airborne Division of the Great White Brotherhood." Yep. But this wasn't the first time the world met the Ashtar Command or the space brothers. It wasn't even the first broadcast the Ashtar Command interrupted. In this episode we trace the histor...
Nov 03, 2021•1 hr 47 min•Ep. 29
It's Halloween! We're taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming to have some fun and do some weird stuff. On this episode we take a look at a collection of internet rituals for the sole purpose of making weird stuff happen, Willow legitimately hypnotizes Sequoyah, and we crack open an ancient grimoire of black magic and try to discern whether we've grown more or less hardboiled as a species. Enjoy!
Oct 27, 2021•1 hr 54 min•Ep. 28
While The "I AM" Activity and Church Universal and Triumphant are the leviathans of the Ascended Master Teachings, there are a whole host of others who have done their part in spreading this memetic virus: The Bridge to Spiritual Freedom, Peter Mt Shasta, Lady Master Pearl, The Hearts Center Community and a whole lot more. But the old funeral home vibe of the original Ascended Masters Teachings just doesn't cut it any more, it needs a brand new groove. Something neon colored, something futuristi...
Oct 20, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 27
In the conclusion to our series on Church Universal and Triumphant, Elizabeth Clare Prophet suddenly in control of the organization after the sudden death of Mark Prophet (now known as ascended master Lanello). Changing their name from Summit Lighthouse to Church Universal and Triumphant (it's a tax evasion thing), CUT only grows bigger, more influential, and more dangerous as Elizabeth struggles with the realities of inheriting someone else's cult as a true believer. This, of course, leads to t...
Oct 13, 2021•2 hr 20 min•Ep. 26
This week we're starting the tale of Church Universal and Triumphant AKA Summit Lighthouse and Mark Lyle Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet, the next two goobers to take up the mantle of Accredited Messengers of the Ascended Masters. Reaching a moderate level of fame in 1990 for stockpiling guns and hiding in poorly constructed bomb shelters in Montana, Church Universal and Triumphant's story is much deeper and weirder than all that. In part one, we learn about how plain talkin' chowderhead Mar...
Oct 06, 2021•1 hr 47 min•Ep. 25
It's the bizarre and disturbing conclusion to our series on the "I AM" Activity and the Accredited Messengers Guy and Edna Ballard. It's crescendo of money, madness, masters, and mind control as Guy and Edna wrap their almost one million followers in blankets of total fear and paranoia and set out on their goal of establishing Saint Germain's New Government in America. We learn about Ascension, the "golden particle accelerator chair", a whole rotten slew of new Ascended Masters (and "Lady Master...
Sep 29, 2021•2 hr 9 min•Ep. 24
We begin our look at Guy and Edna Ballard and the I AM Activity who coined the term "Ascended Master" and, although only active for the last half of the 1930's, gained upwards to a million followers, made tens of millions of dollars, and drove their followers insane with a technicolor barrage of paranoia and easy, meaningless answers to life's hardest questions. Oh yeah, they were also literal fascists whose stated goal was to overthrow the United States Government. And you've probably never hea...
Sep 22, 2021•1 hr 24 min•Ep. 23
Have you ever heard of the ascended masters? How about angel numbers, ascension, or the violet flame? Has some creep ever told you they're your "twin flame"? Has Saint Germain ever offered you a cup of his golden cream? This week we're introducing a multi-series saga exploring the history of the "Ascended Master Teachings" AKA the I AM movement, an off-shoot of Theosophy which has spawned countless cults, flim-flammers, psychic Nazis, and successful YouTubers making cricket sounds to channel ext...
Sep 15, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 22
We take a look at the strange, strange trajectory on which a young man named Connor Murphy is currently hurling himself. After becoming a genuine sensation on YouTube for his bodybuilding videos and videos where he takes his shirt off at girls, Connor lost his gains and found a taste for psychedelics and performance art. Shifting into the oh-so-hot sphere of YouTube spirituality, Connor now identifies as God is making some of the weirdest stuff on the internet while he tries to teach the world s...
Sep 08, 2021•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 21
We look into the life, afterlife, and after-afterlife of one of the great weirdos of history: the Count of St. Germain. Known only by this title, the mysterious count was a staple of the royal courts of Europe during the 1700s. Seemingly never aging, with no real name, he was known in the court of Louis XV as an alchemist, mystic, philosopher, violinist, composer, diplomat, and spy. Contemporaries said he claimed himself to be 500 years old, and after his death some documents claim that he showe...
Sep 01, 2021•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 20
It's time for reptilians, the secret history of the world, and what really happened to the dinosaurs! This week we're looking at the "Lacerta Files", a recently re-surfaced series of interviews from 1999 between one intrepid Swede and a...sexy reptilian who calls herself Lacerta whose species lives inside the Earth. Recently gaining a following on the internet it never had when it was released, the Lacerta Files (allegedly) teach us about other lizard people, raccoon people, white people people,...
Aug 25, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 19
The conclusion to the John McAfee saga. In this episode we cover John's escape from Belize and the remaining eight years of his life including meeting his wife Janice, John's two presidential campaigns, his escape from the tax man to Cuba and international waters, and the last eight months of his life imprisoned in a Spanish jail. We hear a lot more from the man himself this week and maybe I've been brainwashed, but this one is surprisingly moving. Cheers to one of the most human humans who has ...
Aug 18, 2021•1 hr 55 min•Ep. 18
This week, we begin our look at the life of John McAfee. Brilliant computer programmer, international fugitive, two-time-presidential candidate, and powerful wizard, John McAfee's life was truly the stuff of legends. In the first part of our series ,we cover the bulk of John's life from his early years through the creation of McAfee Antivirus, and his absolutely insane misadventures down in Belize. There's drugs, there's guns, there's a clandestine jungle laboratory, and a whole lot of nonsense....
Aug 11, 2021•2 hr 5 min•Ep. 17
Upton Sinclair was one of the first "muckraking" journalists of the 20th century. But we're not really talking about that part. Instead we're mostly focusing on Mental Radio, a book detailing Upton and his wife, Mary's investigations into psychic phenomena and a Polish rabbit-hypnotizing wizard named Jan. We also take a look at the artist commune Sinclair set up to get other people to raise his kid, and his bid for the governorship of California in which his opponent produced the some of the fir...
Aug 04, 2021•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 16
This week we learn about Neville Goddard, the Mad Mystic of 48th street, who lectured mid-20th century on the power of "mental causation" and the God of the Christian Bible being nothing more than an extended metaphor for your own wonderful, human imagination. Also you're the only thing that exists and you made all of this up by imagining it. Have fun with that burden.
Jul 28, 2021•59 min•Ep. 15
In the thrilling conclusion of Blood Over Intent, Willow gets brainwashed and Sequoyah meets his arch-nemesis. Who is the Grey Magician? What's he doing buying a compound? Do unkempt beards give you magic powers? Why does Satan himself suddenly feel like the good guy? And what are the excellent benefits of eating poop? All of these questions and more will go entirely unanswered as we crash headfirst into the spiritual dead-end of the 21st century.
Jul 21, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 14
We take a peek into one of the weirder corners of the internet and learn about a modern religious movement with thousands of adherents based around using blood magic to bring heaven on Earth and escape the flat disc we all live on (yep it's one of those) by journeying to the North Pole. Founded unceremoniously with a 2013 Youtube video posted by Florida-based plumber Mark Braun, AKA Satan himself, this is one of the weirdest and most ridiculous currents of belief that you have never heard of....
Jul 14, 2021•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 13
Oh you're into UFOs, huh? What if we told you that it's all smoke and mirrors, a grand illusion dreamt up by those dirty hippies that run the United Nations to usher in the technological antichrist and assume total control of your inner and outer worlds? Microchipped birds, fake religious revelations, and mind control via common household appliances - welcome to the terrifying, hyper-paranoid mind of the crusadin' Quebecois Serge Monast and his classic conspiracy pamphlet NASA's Project Blue Bea...
Jul 07, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 12
We talk about our experience playing as much as we possibly could have of Harry Horse's (in)famous point-and-click adventure game from 1996. We went to weird Stonehenge, spun a couple weird clocks, and met the most infuriating, utterly, worthless drunk sack of bones who ever called himself a Templar Knight. All in all, well, it sure is something. The grab-bag of conspiracy and generally spooky references lead us to a deeper conversation regarding Harry Horse's art, his mindset, and the larger cu...
Jun 30, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 11
The point-and-click adventure game Drowned God was released in 1996. Fusing seemingly every conspiracy theory ever invented and the arcane secrets of numerology, tarot, and kabbalah, Drowned God stood out from its contemporaries (other point-and-clicks like Myst and The 7th Guest) simply because of how strange it was. In part one, we look at the surreal and tragic life of Drowned God's creator, the gifted artist, musician, and prankster Richard Horne, AKA Harry Horse. From his early years as a b...
Jun 23, 2021•1 hr 33 min•Ep. 10
The Ars Goetia of the Lesser Key of Solomon is one of the most famous, or infamous, books of so-called "black magic" in history, providing instructions to those would-be conjurors who would attempt to summon demons to do their bidding. But what exactly are the entities known as the goetic demons? Are demons real? Where does the Lesser Key of Solomon come from, and does it actually have anything at all to do with King Solomon? Where do you find a magic worm to do your masonry work for you? All th...
Jun 16, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 9
After learning about a dude who uses "A.I. assisted noise reduction software" to talk to spirits through white and pink noise, we decided to give it a try ourselves. So we took a field trip to Rhode Island's officially haunted patch of woods (as recorded in the 1885 census) the "Ramtail Factory" and interrogated a river. There's definitely some incredibly weird stuff in the recordings. But were we talking to spirits or just losing our minds and yelling at water? That, dear listener, is for you t...
Jun 09, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 8
We take a look at a collection of strange, short, and horrible stories: a cult leader is found mummified in colloidal silver and tequila, a scientologist job posting for a nanny is as bizarre as you hope it is, and people are being scammed by fake Keanu Reeves. We also take a longer look at the religious fundamentalism and culture of repression that made Josh Duggar (from that show about having way too many kids) a straight up monster and how TLC just doesn't seem to notice or care.
Jun 02, 2021•1 hr 39 min•Ep. 7
A mysterious declassified document on the CIA website details the government's investigation of The Monroe Institute's "Gateway Experience" program which purports to teach methods of astral projection, remote viewing, and "patterning" one's reality. Along the way Lieutenant Colonel Wayne C. McDonnell accidently explains how the whole universe works. Army Intelligence's conclusion? Yep, it's all real. The Nonsense Bazaar's conclusion? There's something weird going on here.
May 26, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 6
We all know reality television is bad for the audience's brains, but what about the contestants themselves? In this episode, Willow brings in the untold story of one of the most notorious "villains" in reality television history and how the producers of "Naked and Afraid" created a character and reality that simply does not exist, yet which the real Honora Bowen can't escape.
May 19, 2021•1 hr 44 min•Ep. 5
