It seems for going back in time one more time. Well, we seem to do that regularly around here, this time by going back in time with some Black America dragging old fashioned pastors who force women to apologize for getting themselves up to the doff without putting a ring on their finger. Eron.
Yeah. People are outraged after a video was posted online of a young unidentified woman apologizing to her church for getting pregnant out of wedlock. The pastor told the young woman she wasn't going to get a baby shower and that no one in the church would attend one. Another church member who confronted the pastor was eventually kicked out of the church because of it. And there doesn't seem to be any consequences for the man whom pregnated her.
Why are we still shaming people, especially women, for having sex and getting pregnant. What will the consequences of this behavior be to society and the religions? This story is from the Root by Phoenix S. Hallie, published January ninth, twenty twenty five.
What's a load of count? There are some times I read all and there are sometimes when I see society at last and I go misanthropy has a lot of you know, good qualities here being a mister thrope, can you know have its attractions when you see all of this,
that and the other. Because if this is what society is becoming, where we are shouting into the internet instead of actually doing things, and we are dragging people in front of crowds of people and going naughty, naughty, naughty, you did something naughty, naughty, naughty in Monty Python language, misanthropy has a lot of good qualities that you know, go yes, I can't stand society as it's currently constituted on Oh god this can we.
Please just stab uslaze Jamie like like like this part girl. I feel so bad for her because, yeah, I guarantee, I guarantee she did not get a proper sex education. I guarantee that the dad didn't have to do the same thing. I guarantee.
That when her.
Family found out that you know, she you know, did the Devil's tango and then they went running to the past or go, what do we do? Well, if we shame her, then it's not going to happen again. And maybe another woman, you know, young woman and the congregation will not have sex until so he puts a ring on it. That's a bullshit.
She how do you know she made a mistake? Like her mistake was.
That you know, she didn't she didn't know to ask a man to put her like, you know, to protect herself. But she didn't have the.
Education to do that.
But but no, let me explain, like and like the thing is though, it's like, not only is she it's you know, a social tab move to be even now, even twenty five, to have a baby outside of weblock. It's so much harder when you're young. And the added pressure of being slugshamed in front of your congregation and having to apologize for doing something that's natural. It's bonkers.
It's bonkers.
And I feel so bad for her, and I want to get up there hanging out the congregation and be like, what the fuck you doing?
What are you doing? But one are the drills we sell you that it's a mistake to you know, have unprotected sex and to get pregnant. We are making a lot of assumptions here, we are.
I'm not saying that.
Okay, I am making this fair.
I will I will retract what I said.
I will say I.
Made an assumption based on very little evidence, and it's probably because of my feelings about this, and I I'm going to oh what I said, and I'm going to retract it and say, allegedly this may have happened, and.
There's no evidence to the contrary that she's not pregnant. But what I'm saying here is that a lot of the nonsensical victriol is based on just assumptions. We have assumed that she didn't want to get pregnant. We have no way of knowing that she may very well have said to them like, look, I want to get pregnant. The person's age is not known. She imagined, look I quite like you, I quite want a kid. Let's let's see if we can do this. Or she may have
just gone, I just want to have sex. I don't understand why there is this belief that women are these passive creatures with sex is done to them as opposed to sex being done with them or by them or for them. It's this misogynistic assumption that the man has sex with a woman or does sex to a woman, not a man and a woman having sex together, which
is so ridiculous. In this whole article and this whole situation, and it lays bare misogyny up the wazoo here that she is dragged in front of people, and as Aaron has said, he was nine hundred and ninety nine times out of one hundred thousand, probably never going to get that, a nine ninety thousand out of a million, never going to get that, because it's seen as him having a coal host, whereas she's a naughty, dirty slot what a thold? Well, I mean, we are a quarter of the way through
the twenty first century. For crying out loud, we are a quarter of the way through it. And we are still halfway through the nineteenth century, let alone the twentieth century, still even halfway through the eighteen fifties with this nonsense. Well, what we're gonna do. We're gonna send them off to the Irish laundry, So we're gonna send them off to you know, half the child in secret. I mean, what
is this? I mean, Aaron, is this a world where you, a man, are comfortable with other men getting away with this kind of nonsense and women being the one at the forefront of being blamed up the wallzoo.
No, I'm not comfortable with this at all. I think it's awful to shame people for having sex, especially women and not men. I think this was an awful thing to do to this person, because what it does is when you shame people out sex, it makes them repress their sexuality, and then when it is appropriate to start having sex, they you can't just you can't just unrepress yourself. We you know, you can't just flip turn off and then turn it back on. All that repression and all
that guilt and all that shame. It has an effect. It has a lasting effect. And you can talk to many, many women who grew up in this kind of a shame culture where women were responsible for men's desires, responsible for not being sexual, but yet when they got married, we're supposed to then be sexual. That that kind of a culture leads to women who just aren't sexual and
they don't know how to be sexual. And as a man that that's not that doesn't help me enjoy sex more if my partner doesn't isn't in touch with their sexuality. And so if you're gonna shame doesn't work. Education works. When you teach people about sex, then they're they're gonna know more and they're gonna be able to enjoy it more and their partners are gonna be able to enjoy it.
I can see that there is some facial expressions from Helen here, who is jumping to get back in. So, Helen, why don't you tell us about how wonderful sex is.
As someone that is very sex positive and a polysexual and polyamorous person.
Very fine, it's great, It's great time, whole time. Remember as one an enthusiasticus enthusiastic consent.
Okay, Now, from the work I've done with like recovering from religion, purity culture fucks people up. It really does.
This type of.
Ship that this poor like this girl had to go through, like go in for the congregation and be like, I'm sorry, y'all, I you know, you know, had sex and I got pregnant, you know, and like you point out, maybe she might have wanted it, but the pressure from the religious community is that you're you're a dirty slut and now you have to apologize because you want to have sex. And this is and they're probably thinking that this is just a consequence of your actions, and it's like this is
a private matter. Regardless of the circumstances. This should be between her and if she is under it, like, you know, I don't know where age I'm gonna I'm going to take the assumption that she's, you know, under eighteen years old.
Okay, I'm just gonna take it. I'm taking she's younger than she is.
She's younger the fucking like I said, like late homework guys, Like I just cut things yesterday, so I probably miss some details.
The article does not say hell old she is. They just call her a young woman.
Or the other.
Whether she's like if she was seventeen or twenty seven, I don't really fucking care, because at this point, what we're talking about is forcing someone just because you think that a man is the arbiture of a woman's sexuality and what she does and should be in control of, like when she gets pregnant, for example. Other like this is off a bunch of like arbitrary bullshit that this poor girl had to go through. And I'm just sitting
there going like this is what purity culture does. It puts these ideas, and people said it's just damaging to people of all genders because it says that, like women are responsible for men's sexuality. If you're tempted. It's your fault, it's not the man's fault, even though we all have
natural desires. Okay, that's just disgusting. And also, well it doesn't What does this teach not only her but the congregation as a whole that your sexual desires are disgusting, that your sexual desires are something that should be shamed, and you better fall in line. And if you don't, like you know, follow the super special book and follow the rules, you are going to be shamed. You are going to be publicly humiliated. And that's talks into disgusting.
That's that's abusive.
This is an abusive behavior.
Absolutely looked at thousands of years old, a little bit outdated, alleged.
And I guarantee there's better sexual animals written at the time in that fucking book.
There was no birth out of birth control allegedly allegedly.
Allegedly anyway, But there is a there is a there is a darker side to this story, and it's not the church. It's social media itself. It's the mob that has impaled, impaneled itself, sorry as the arbiter here, that it's made all these assumptions and that it impaneled itself, whether you're on what was once called the bird app, or you're on the other apps, or you're on the cloud app, or I don't know, there is just this whole plethora of these things that are floating around, or
you're on the clock app. I don't know whichever ones you're on. Nowadays, social media white the fact that this has become a way of individuals getting their moralism out, shall we say, as opposed to actually going outside and doing something about it, like, for example, helping educate the individuals.
They're just going to sit at a keyboard or probably more likely sit in a tough phone and scream into the void, and it's going to change, little squat, or it's going to change absolutely nothing, because the last time social media changed something was never social media doesn't change things. Social media is just an echo chamber of people shouting
about whatever. The rage bait of the day is. This article we have in front of us is the rage bait of the day, and the fact that the rage bait of the day has missed the whole purpose here and has decided to pillary this man who dragged her in front of it, when we don't know the circumstances behind it. He could very well have been pressured by the congregation itself to do it, or he could be
the instigator. We simply don't know that to ignore the woman in all of this and basically treat her like she's some afterthought and the man that she shagged for crying out loud to have to realize, hang on a minute, I've slept with this woman we believe consensually. There's no evidence in the article that it was not consensual. Why on earth are you doing this? Yes, she's pregnant, and yes I'm going to be the parent of this child. What does that say to the bloke who has gone
off and shagged her? Does he say, hang on a minute, I feel very welcome here that you know, we're going to be adults here, We're going to discuss things. What did they say? You're just as much of a tur as we believe she is. I don't.
I just like the whole thing is just weird and stupid and arbitrary because it teaches him that he doesn't have to fix the same consequence because he was a penis that's what it teaches him.
Yes, it teaches him double standards, but The other thing is the thing.
He had to do the same thing, and it wasn't recorded, it wasn't put out on social media.
That's auming he didn't know that.
But I think it was a point of this particular church or reposted it to make an example of her, because we tend to such shame woman in this culture, but we don't do the same to men because misogyny.
So so social media is a two edge sort well, And I hear your point that social media is going to lead to the downfall civilization. I think I totally agree with that.
Lead to just nothing, but noting the down civilization will be closed by other things. So social media and activity on social media is not going to leave the downfall of civilization.
But I think it also does good. And I think this situation does good too. I think it does good to have a video like this posted and and see people's reactions to it, and to see the out to see some of the outrage. Maybe this is going to affect some young person who's watching the video, and maybe they have conservative views and maybe watching this girl gage slight shame and see people's reaction to it is going to help them realize, hey, I don't like that. That's
not okay, that's not cool. I'm going to stay away from religion or that's not cool. You know, I think it's okay to be sexual and sexuality isn't.
It just modern day vigilanteism?
What do you mean by vigilanteism?
Like, so they have decided to impanel themselves as the arbiters here in the same way that are their individuals having paneled themselves as vigilantes without knowing the full story. I bring you up the MacAlpine case in the UK where a group of social media people just said, this person's clearly a pedophile. It's not a big leap here because they've decided to jump on something, get everyone inflamed, get everyone over the top, and it's just low level vitism.
Yes, it could descend into vigilanteism. I don't know. I didn't read all the responses to this video. The ones that were too many, There are too many, the ones that they'd cheer and picked from this for this article seemed to be just supporting anti shame around sexuality, and that good. I am for right, I am not I'm not condoning vigilanteism and ganging up on people. Not, you know, making sure that the truth comes out. But I think it's also important that we see the value in the Internet.
The Twitter sort of the Internet and social media is that we get we get exposed to new viewpoints and new ways of seeing the world, and I think that's the valuable part of that. The other side of that sort is if you're not careful, you can end up in an echo chamber, and you can end up with vigilantism. And so it's you have to be careful.
But has some social media silent itself off into its own little echo chambers itself. So you have the left wing blue Sky, you have the right wing X, you have the not really knowing what it is, but it's not right wing. It's not left wing with threads but it's more left wing threads. And then you've got TikTok, which is, you know, much more of a younger demographic there, which is all talking to itself. So it hasn't social media siloed itself already into its own personal echo chambers.
I have no idea. I don't know, I don't I've never heard any data about it. I think it's a risk. I think people that are on social media, you have to be really careful about that risk. I think social media can do good. I think it needs to be regulated and it's not I think. I think algorithms need to be regulated because these companies, they have algorithms that
decide what you see, Like, all they care about is engagement. Right, You're the product that they're selling to advertisers, and so they want you on their apps as much as possible, and so they're going to send you things that engage you and keep you on the apps and keep you engaged as much as possible. And I think if that needs to be regulated to a certain instance, you don't get and those algrams can give you a skewed perspective
on what the world is really like. It can give you a skewed perspective on what people actually think because all you're seeing is stuff that gets you engaged and keeps you engaged, and that doesn't necessarily reflect reality. And so that's why I think social media and their algrams, they need to be regulated so that you get a little more reality out there.
Yeah, but as Jerry Springer would say at the end of his shows, take care of yourselves and be kind to each other. And watch more of our stuff here.