In a striking story that highlights the tension between personal beliefs and medical advice, Alex Gooding, a self proclaimed triad wife and mother of seven, is navigating a dangerous pregnancy condition known as cesarean scar atopic pregnancy or c SEP. Despite medical consensus that continuing the pregnancy poses severe risk to her health, Gooding insists on moving forward, rejecting her
doctor's advice to terminate. This decision has sparked criticism not only for the potential harm to herself, but also for the influence she wields as an influencer with conservative anti abortion. Her story racist critical questions about the impact of ideology on health decisions, the role of influencers in perpetuating harmful narratives, and the consequences for families left behind. At its heart, it's a cautionary tale about the life threatening costs of
prioritizing belief over evident. The story is from the Friendly No, This story is from the Friendly Atheist, rather by him and Meta on October twenty eighth, twenty twenty four. So, Eli, I'm coming to you again because why not? So? How do we balance personal beliefs with medical advice? Especially when those beliefs put others at risks, such as dependent children or family members.
The thing is, I'm not sure that we're obligated to the fact of the matter is that she's still allowed to make this choice, just as much as she should be allowed to make the choice to have the abortion. Should that be that what she wants to do. As long as she's an alert and oriented, conscious adult, she can make her own medical decisions. Now, unless she has an advanced directive on file, then they're just going to take life saving measures as soon as she goes unconscious anyway.
But the fact of the matter is you your primary obligation is to make choices for your own way well being, because nobody else is going to prioritize your own well being over theirs. So you know, at least if you think it a purely like animalistic evolutionary is sort of primitive sort of context. So I mean, yeah, I don't think necessarily that the need to balance those things is there. I think someone can take their personal beliefs and make their own medical choices for themselves based on that.
You know, I have an antidote if you all don't mind. I was speaking to one of my clients who is a serial smoker who also deals with COPD and also asthma. Now, one of the things that I was speaking with them about when I was doing their assessment is the you know them smoking, And of course, as a healthcare professional, I'm going to bring up, hey, you have these chronic conditions and they're exasperated by your smoking, maybe you should rethink I don't know smoking. And he implied and told
me that, well, yeah, I know. My doctor brings it up a lot. And I'm like, em, you think when I listen to your doctor just saying and you know, I know that you as as a person in my position, can only warn at the end of the day. These people are adults, right, But it's one thing that my client is in his home making a adverse healthcare decision on his own that influences him and him alone. But when you're looking at Alex Gooding, who has I don't even know how many follows she has, I believe it
is it over a million? I want to say it's over a million. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I mean only and I may be I may be overestimating because it.
Was one hundred thousand. Yeah, like is that because of this whole thing or is that something that happened before.
Well, you know, she's an influencer who is talking about her family. She's a mom of seven, she's a your traditional housewife. She makes sure that you know, her husband comes home with his pipe and slippers, just like the
Donna Reed show. So and she is talking to you know, possibly thousands and thousands of people, you know, and I would suspect like a majority of them being other women who you know, jive with her story, right, But you know, but at the same time, I and I like to just preface that an et topic pregnancy is never a viable pregnancy. If that particular pregnancy is not dealt with, the person who is pregnant can and most likely will die.
So there is still this other portion of responsibility, And Jimmy, I would like for you to talk about that. You know, even though like, yes, we know that she's an adult, she has the right to make her own decisions about how she's going to deal with her particular medical choices.
But she says, an influencer, what is the what is the responsibility she has to the people that's actually listening to her, and what kind of things could happen if she goes through this, and another possibility that people who are able to get pregnant are listening to her and thinkingness this is a good choice too.
Yeah. So I think if she's going to go through with behavior like this and she is going to kind of cast her life as an episode for these people to watch, that she needs to be honest and not cut out the parts that she doesn't want them to see. So, for example, when she goes and gets a second opinion, which I think she has a responsibility to go do, because she's not going to get advice in her Holy Book on how to handle this. That's something that we know.
Unless she wants to bring her vision back by rubbing dirt in her eyes, that's a story that I don't need to get into. But we know that God has no medical expertise, So if you disagree with your first doctor, certainly go to the second doctor. But I would almost bet that the doctor that she describes in her little episode here is not the kind of person that she
makes him out to be. She says that the doctor was rude and refused to acknowledge her and only turned to her husband and said, you need to make sure
that she terminates this embryo. I would guarantee that what really happened is that this person, she was so dismissive of this guy who dedicated his life to not only becoming an expert in his field, but saving other people's lives, and you know, in order to just suffice her religious leanings, her dogma that she's aligned herself with, she's kind of painted him to be the adversary in this story, when in fact, she is really being the adversary for the
people that look up to her when she's not being honest with them about the medical advice that she's getting. Now, this is a lot of conjecture, but I'm not saying this because I don't know of other instances where I
don't know the kind of people I'm talking about. You know, these our people that are not completely honest with themselves about what is good for them and what are good for their families because they take advice from people who are not trained and not professionals in these medical fields, in these healthcare fields. You know, they're taking advice from priests, they're taking advice from old men, and these are young
women having complicated pregnancies. Multiple pregnancies, so she has a responsibility, I think, to care for her viewers, her influencers by giving them all of the data.
That's my take, what data the data from? Because Jesus said, I was going to say that, well, if we want to go into medical advice from the bibble, she could always drink the bitter water. But you know her husband would have to take her to the priests first for her to do it. Eli, you mentioned in your notes about her having a valid complaint about one of her interactions. You want to actually talk about that a little bit more.
Yeah, well, Jimmy kind of just like throw that out to window, because that was the interaction, the one that Alex Gooding describes. Uh well, I'm like, so if that's a if that is the truth about that interaction, that's a valid complaint because as she tells it, she told that she went to a second OB told that OB she didn't want to terminate that. OBI completely dismissed her, turned to her husband and was like you need to make her do this, which is like really dismissive of
her like agency and autonomy. But I think it probably is pretty likely. As Jimmy said that, like that's probably not how it went. It was probably something a lot more like him telling her the cold hard truth about what will happen if she doesn't terminate the pregnancy, and her not liking the way that he or she or they said that and just kind of taking an issue with that and sort of inflating the story a little bit.
But it is sort of even if if regardless of which of those two things is the case, it is still a remnant I think of like, as Het Meta points out in the article of that COVID era, like do your own research, because now people are starting to think that if they google the right words, which they almost never do, then they can learn as much about their condition as an MD or a DOO, and it's just not the case, and it leads to stupid decisions like this.
You know, speaking on that, we are in an information age, where as you mentioned that just about any topic that you want to learn more about is available at your finger. We have more information coming through our little cellular phone than any person ever had in a lifetime and the lifetime's previous to us. And there are reputable sites that actually talk about different conditions that people can have managed or even talk about saliently concerning the outcomes if those
conditions are not cared for properly. And I'm thinking to myself, especially if we're talking about responsibility, going back to you know, the first portion, about the responsibility that she has to her the influences, what about her children, What about the responsibility that she has to her children that she is with now, As you stated, Eli, I've had really and you know, and I mean, like I guess I can speak to this and personal experience that in the past
I've had had tough conversations with doctor and and some doctors, yes, have been dismissive of some of my concerns and and and I don't and and giving some of the data that is concerned when it comes to black people and health and also women and how they're treated when it comes to you know, some doctors. It's not I don't necessarily think it's a far fetched idea to say that biases and issues when it comes to how you know,
healthcare professionals relate to these groups exist, right. But at the same time, I find it very difficult to believe because like I, as I mentioned previously, EP topic, pregnancies are never viable and they can kill you if you don't take care of it right there and right there
as soon as it's discovered. I'm just wondering to myself and Jimmy if you can kind of like fire off because I think that you mentioned this a little bit more about the responsibility she has to her children, her her families when it comes to the healthcare decisions that she makes that could possibly take her life, Like, what is her responsibility? Do you think that she's being irresponsible but not really taking some of these things seriously.
I absolutely think she's being irresponsible, you know. Hem and Metta and I quoted in my show notes in preparation for tonight, made the point she should take her other kids into account. There is nothing brave about continuing this pregnancy. She is not a role model, and I do believe that to be the case. She's being incredibly irresponsible. First, she brags about having seven children and having had six when I think she means miscarriages by saying she has
seven children and six in heaven. This is somebody who
has been constantly pregnant her entire life. She's probably put an incredible strain on her body, which is why she's in the position that she's in, and I think it's now time to start focusing on the children that are alive and keeping yourself alive because you chose to bring them into this world, you know, and they didn't ask to be here, right, and they are young and they need to navigate through life, and you, as their mother, who is so proudly proclaiming that as your primary role
in life to be a mother, I mean, for crying out loud. Her Facebook name is growing Goodings, right because her last name is Gooding and all she does with her life is just grow goodings. Well, you're not going to do that if you purposely reject medical professionals advice, doctor's advice and end up killing yourself. Unfortunately, you're not going to be able to be this person that you
proclaimed to be. So get off of your high horse, Okay, get off of this religious pedestal that you putting yourself on and recognize that you have a responsibility to kids. And what I would love to see, and I don't expect it anytime soon, is for her and women like her to recognize the way that religion has abused them and indoctrinated them into a position where they have one role in life.
They have one role, and that is to.
Be an incubator for their husbands, but also their husband's caretaker, and also not have a life of their own because they have given their life to everybody else. That's not the way it should be. And so that's that's kind of how I feel about that. She's certainly, in more ways than one, neglecting the children she already has.
Yeah, I definitely have to say, as as a person who has the ability to become pregnant, I was deeply disturbed by the story and in a bit offended specifically by her.
Well, you know what, Cynthia, I'm sorry, there's one thing that I want to since you say that. So when she got the news that her pregnancy was not viable, she's the articles quoting her, she cried the entire ride home in the car. Matt was on a call with work, so he couldn't debrief with her. So you're getting terrible, life threatening news and then crying the entire way home and your husband is on the phone the whole time.
Are you out of your mind? Have you not seen the sign that you are less significant in this structure that you're in? Something to think about.
Well, the Bible definitely categorizes women as second, third, fourth, fifth classes. Just keep it, one hundred one thousand person. Women don't have agency. Women are property of their housbands. And when the husband dies, it would be up to the sun if he wants you to take care of the mother, and then the mother will have to basically
do what the son tells her to do. So and this is the type of sensibilities that are taught in these particular churches that showed this particular structure, right, that the husband is the head of the household and the only one that he is actually subjugated to is God. And the woman is us subjugated to her husband, and the children are subjugated to their parents. But even if but as we've heard rhetoric not too long ago, just
wait until your father gets home. Oh wait until daddy gets home, because daddy is the one who's going to have the final say on how everything goes. And you know, and I would have to you know, quote VP. Harris when she said that not every woman is trying to be humble. I have to say that. And and what do we mean by what do I mean by that?
I mean that there are a good number of us who noticed that we have this thing called a brain that can learn things, that we can use to do other things other than being somebody's mama, being somebody's wife, okay, and that we can actually contribute to society with our brains and actually build outside of family structures. Okay. So that's one of the reasons why I was very offended
by this particular story. And another reason is is that the indoctrination of Alex Gooding is so deep, it's so pervasive, to the point where she really feels that this is the heel that she literally is going to die on. And I think that, Eli, you talked a little bit about that in your notes about this, the stances she's going to get, it's like going to be unrewarding. Can you talk a little bit more about that.
Yeah, And you guys, actually listening to the two of you cracked this wide open for me. I understand that's on a whole new level now. So she is she has this idea that God has a plan and no matter what happens, it's part of God's plan. So if she dies, she dies. She doesn't think she's taking a risk. She thinks she's trusting God, right. The other thing is that, as the two of you pointed out, she's so indoctrinated to think that having children is what she's supposed to do.
She looks back on how you know, she used you know, IVF in some of her previous pregnancies. She has delivered via c section. So these are some people hold the idea that, you know, giving giving birth or getting pregnant in certain ways isn't you know, real pregnancy or real birth. And she didn't express that at least in what we read. But she may hold the view that if she can't naturally, you know, conceive and state a baby on her own without medical help, then she's failing at what God put
her here to do. So she may be of the mind that, like, if I can't do this naturally, then I'm just gonna die trying to because that's God's plan for me. So I don't think she sees it as if she's like shirking a responsibility that she has. She thinks, sir, most responsibility is to God.
Yeah, I'm sure that she doesn't see it that way. And that was a really astute, very like eye opening perspective that you just gave you lie.
My question is.
If things are supposed to go to according to God's plan, well, then why did she take the IVF in the first place, And why did she trust the medical professionals in the first place? And what now she doesn't trust the medical professionals. What a turn of events and what an inconsistency.
Yeah, you know, I think this also speaks to the whole notion of cherry picking when it comes to your beliefs. And let me tell you something for you guys that's out there that never been pregnant or shot a kid out your fallopian tube, whether if you have it the the you know, the wambam, thank you man way, or if you have it through the IVF way, you gon't feel it regardless of how it's gonna come out, whether you get IVF or not, it's a real pregnancy. Let me tell you, you.
Know, Cynthia, Yeah, I have I have something I need to say. Okay, So I want to talk about my wife for a second, because I did something horrible today. Okay, And since we're on the topic of women, and I want everybody to know that I love my wife very much. I forgot our fourth wedding anniversary which is today, which is today.
I did.
It was horrible. It was horrible.
I'm so.
I'm such a bad man. I'm such a bad No, I'm not. I'm just.
So. I told my wife.
I told my wife that not only would I say happy happy anniversary, Deanna and I love you, but you guys would say happy anniversary as well.
Could you help me the anniversary?
You know what? Not only will I say it.
Jimmy, and thank you for sharing Jimmy with us today.
Thank you for sharing Jimmy Deanna. But you know I'm not only will I say it, I will sing it. Yes, yes, yeah, I haven't saying anything on this program for quite some time. So excuse me, meet me me. Okay, very good, Happy anniversary, Anna, Happy anniversary, Deanna, Happy anniversary, Dianna. I'm not gonna mention Jimmy because he forgot happy Aniverse serie too.
Oh that was beautiful. That was beautiful. She's gonna love that. We're gonna go out and celebrate. It's Wednesday, so and and you know, we got a very important mission here, so uh, she of course encouraged me to continue.
Uh and do what we're doing.
We're gonna go celebrate this Saturday, and I came home with a dozen roses for her and UH. I really, I really felt like an idiot. But I love you Deanna and uh and I hope you feel that I deserve you.