The Nicky Glaizer Podcasts.
DearS Nikki.
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky Glazer podcast coming at you. Uh, I'm live in Saint Louis. Here with us is Noah, Brian, Sean O'Connor. How you guys doing today?
Great?
Great? Great? Great?
Didn't you see Sean a lot this weekend? I did?
I I know how he's doing. Unless things drastically changed yesterday.
Sean is over his fear of flying.
Nice what not.
But it's like it's it's it's getting a lot better.
Yeah, commercial flight. I love it.
Yeah, and.
I love the chill Pale.
I'm not on it right now, but like, do you like you're using it a lot though? Right?
Like the little device that shocks your hand. We talked about it last week in case you missed it. It's like this little thing that Emily turned us on to that she got from Rosey O'donnald's TikTok that it's like you hold in your hand. It's a little keyfob and it shocks your hand for twenty minutes, like right, and it lessens your anxiety and it fucking works.
It really does. I've been using it NonStop. It is helping me in every interaction I have.
Yeah, I almost I think I'm gonna start bring it on stage. I think it's I just want to try it once. What was I doing yesterday?
I was I was practicing.
Rapping, you know, and uh, memorizing this rap that I'm working on, and I.
Was like, really out of breath.
Rap takes like so much breath control that even singing doesn't Like it's just so exhausting. And you think that you know a rap because you're just mouthing the lyrics to it, but like you don't understand that you're not saying it and putting inflection, and it's so hard to do.
And I don't know.
If on my birthday I'm gonna be able to debut the rap song that I've been memorizing that I can, because it's way harder than I thought.
But then I did the Chill Pill and I was able to do it.
I mean, wasn't it the same song? Been trying to remember?
Oh yeah, did I talk about it?
Yeah? Rap? God, I like I talk.
What do you mean?
We've been talking about this everywhere?
Okay, okay, sorry, I forgot that I talked about it so much on here.
I understand.
I don't know what I don't say on here and what I do say on here.
Sometimes I don't like I shouldn't say it on there, I should just keep it to myself. And then I'm like, yeah, the ninky that is like smart probably wouldn't have talked about it on a broadcast, So let's like be that person. I'm not harboring anything. I'm not like trying to keep secrets. I just feel like I shouldn't share everything, but I do anyway. So yeah, I was practicing rap God yesterday
and I'm getting really good. But like I thought I was really good because I'm mouthing it on a treadmill and I can mouth it all, but that does not mean I'm saying it and it is. I'm literally out of breath the entire time, like it is. It went from being I thought a B plus like I'm ready to do this, to a D minus like I cannot say it when given the chance to say it out loud.
It is. So it's one thing to be able to mouth it.
Good job.
Okay, I memorized all the words and I can say them really fast, but I can't.
I literally can't say them. I can't like make the sound breath control you think, yes, yes, yeah.
I think what you need to do is you have to get like prosthetics and do like undercover karaoke and just practice it a few times where it's not you doing it, like you go up from like yeah.
I'm a rapper.
Yeah, like I'm Shila, like like, they's my fake name?
That's so weird.
And like when I used to go to bars, I would with a guy I didn't like, I would say my name was Shila.
That's so crazy that.
You picked so is it because no one wants to fuck with Shila?
I know Sheila is actually who I wanted to be.
I love the name Sheila because I think it's like an eighties girl that's like a badass who you wouldn't fuck with, who you like with Sheila. Yeah, you want to fuck Sheila, but she's never going to fuck you. Like she's too cool, she's got a luck going on.
She is like she's got a studded leather jack and she's smoking cigarettes outside the bar.
Yeah, it's a little bit.
It's giving what's her name from Saved by the Bell Tory Tory?
Yeah, yes, is it Tory.
So yeah, Torri Tori was the leather jacket one. She's kind of okay, yeah, shells likeded a little bit.
Yes, and so she doesn't have time for men's business. So like when I would bust out, yeah my name is Sheila, I felt like they would take the hint and leave me alone. But uh no. So yeah, it's it's breath control. And I even saved some kind of like there was some story that came across my Instagram up talking about it was like a vocal coach that was dissecting Kendrick Lamar's performance at the super Bowl and saying that it was a masterclass in breath control.
And I got it.
I saved it.
You know when you see a video and you're like, I could learn something from this, and then you save it and you never go watch it, look at it.
Everything I do.
I did do a workout from TikTok or from Instagram reels the other day. I did it, and I felt so much better, and I like, I actually saved a video and I went back and found it and did it amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was like it's like almost like it was a yoga stretch thing for my post Youeri Republic Tilt. I finally found a thing that was like actually offering good stretches for it, and it definitely gave me that little slope that you get right before your butt. Like my back like was hurting because it was like the vertebrae were moving in a way that that hasn't happened before. So but it were really sexual exercises because you have to.
It's just a bunch of like.
It's like twerking, slow towerking in different positions.
Right, not something you want to do in a public.
Gym, but I did because I'm like, fuck it, I don't care, like like I can't. I don't want to do this alone. Like almost part of it is like I only work out if there's people around making me feel like they are like I'm accountable. So I'm not going to like miss out on that and do a worse workout because I feel like I'm turning people on. And I kind of did it in the corner, but
but it definitely was sexually. You're just like the corner, Yeah, definitely like over there, Yeah, like just slowly cat cowing.
And different positions looking at your phone.
Yeah, is what your cat does is a perfect position.
Yes, yes it was, but yeah, I was proud of my stuff for Actually, do you guys, uys save stuff constantly that you don't watch or like, do you ever send a video?
This is a thing I maybe wanted to do on stage.
But sometimes I'll like see a video that's like a republic is that is threatened and here's why, and it's like gonna break it down, and I'm like, I don't feel like watching this, but I know it's important, so I'll send it to someone who like will watch it all.
Do you know that?
Yeah, I definitely.
I think I've done it to you, Like I'll watch three fourths that I'm like, this is going where I think it's going.
And like I've seen.
In that why you send me that forty five minute video about Zebras?
No, I probably would watched no anth stuff if Zebra's are threatened.
I can't.
But but yeah, like you know, it's just breaking down about how the you know, s Ai d is being dismantled, so you know stuff like that that I'm like, I don't need all the details. I'm never going to retain all this, but here's someone that would I have.
Oh, I've had I have a dream of being I sometimes I think of the perfect count argument for something, and Cadence it.
Was really more than Luther King.
I know we're always like what airing.
Yeah, it was true.
I mean I had a dream today and I was that I thought of this perfect counter argument for that. You could go on Fox News and say and it's like undeniable. But I'll never get the opportunity to go on Fox News. And it's so rare that you have just like this perfect counter argument. And really it's against the us AID thing. So everyone's saying like, oh, to get rid of us AID is like great for the country because you're lowering wasteful spending and they were spending
money on so much bullshit and all that. And I think that the Republican Party is vastly misunderstanding the purpose of us AID or giving aid to other countries. And it's not it's not that we're trying to be these like generous benefactors and be considered like these amazing saviors of the of the world. You know, how the mafia gets its power. How does the mafia get its power?
The mafia gets its power because there are people in a community who need money, and you are there because society or the government structures have let them down, and you are there to provide businesses, to provide people with resources. And once you provide them with those resources, then they owe you something and then they're reliant on you for something. It's the same way al Qaeda. It's the same way
Isis gets their power. The first thing al Qaeda and Isis does is they go into needy communities and they give them food, they give them protection, they give them medicine, so that the good will for exactly, So America isn't going into African countries and giving people aid because no, they're doing it because it's preventing other countries or other organizations from doing the same thing and winning the propaganda war. Yes, it's for our own self defense that we provide these services.
Becaus God forbid we just be kind, because that would be so stupid.
Exactly, well, it would be a waste of money to just be kind. Now, the only time it is good to be kind is if you're vaccinating people across the world so you can avoid another panic.
Did you hear about the new like disease that's in the congo Oh my god, A bunch of some toddlers ate a bat carcass, and now they are like fifty four people have died from this illness that kills you, like within hours, and it's like really bad and it's new.
I was reading about.
Today and it was on the Washington Post, and then I went to the comments just to see, you know, just to make myself angry, and one of the comments was like, why are people eating bat carcasses?
Stop it? And I just I couldn't help myself.
I go, oh, yeah, I'm sure these toddlers in the Congo just turned down every other kind.
Of food and chose the bat carcass.
I'm sure that in lieu of going to Walmart and stocking up on you.
Know, dunk a use.
These these kids in the Congo love just wanted to eat a back carcass. They wasn't out of a need or a starvation kind of thing, like fucking morons.
Who thinks anyone eats a bat willing?
Yeah?
I mean, I know there are wet markets where it's like delicacies, but like, kids in the Congo aren't eating a back carcass because it's fun.
Ozzy Osbourne fans, Yeah.
I do like to think that one of them is a picky eater, and it's just like, no, I only want the back.
Can you imagine little kids being such picky eaters? I mean, I guess I had a joke about that my special but like you know, like my nephews won't eat anything, you know, like they only want McDonald Like they can't. They won't touch if something is touching something else or has like a little bit of a green sprig of something on it.
It's like no, like that is all learned behavior.
Because kids are eating back carcasses to survive, you know, like that, so would my nephews if they had to.
I think that's why we should never have moved away from that guilt trip we put on kids in like the seventies, eighties and nineties of like there are children starving. Yeah, kids in Africa, kids in China, they're starving, and you need that.
You need that too.
That gives you an eating disorder that you always have to eat all the food on your plate. And then that because I just watched the video about how parents need to stop saying the kids in Africa thing because it makes you feel guilt and it makes you eat when you're feeling guilty and associates those two feelings together and then you end up overeating when you're feeling guilt in your own life.
Something like that gets The best.
Diet strategy is to is portion control, Like you can't just look at your plate. You don't have to finish every single thing on your plate. And that's the best way to lose weight is to recognize that.
Yeah, but how would you do that?
I don't even understand not fit, Like I cannot have said it literally a million times on this podcast Wrap God, that I cannot fathom leaving behind something on your plate that you were just eating and enjoying and being like no, I'm good, Like how slow do you have to eat that your body is like in the same in a one serving you're getting full from it?
Like that is a slow ass eater.
Like I've sometimes I have a friend that eats really slow, and I've counted the choose for like one bite of food because I've been bored, you know, and I just like like can see what they're like, see them eating, and I've counted like thirty five chews for a little bite of food, and I'm just like, what is this like? And I will eat with them just to see how long it's takes me. And I'm like it takes me for like less. I don't even know if I chew,
I'm like gonna have a gag reflex. No, They're just a meticulous, measured, mindful person.
And I don't know what that's like.
Yeah, because I have a I have like a pretty like easy to trigger gag reflex. But I am a hoover with food, like and like I'm like certain I know exactly how I'm going to die instead of just going to choke at a restaurant.
I have you choked a lot of food because you're eating too fast as it?
Yeah, I've I choked on like water because I'm like doing that too fast, Like yep, me too.
Yeah, Like choking on water is easier than the food. The food, you can I've seen myself like just taking a swig of water and then like coughing it up.
Yeah, the wrong pipe or whatever.
You're to choke on food, I think it's not.
It's not. I choke on food.
Like I'll clear my throat like one three times a week at least.
Like it's like when you have that panic of you're going to die.
I'm gonna die where I'm like, oh like like I go like and then it comes up and then I'm like, I haven't.
Seen you do that. But maybe I'm not tuned in.
I think I'm I'm better around people who aren't my family.
Like what I'm we're the food out of the way because it's like I just see it and I want it to be gone, so do I don't have to deal with the pain of like should I eat it's I mean, food is like a drug. It just I never feel I never feel comfortable around it. I want it gone so I don't have to deal with it anymore or like or I just want the feeling it gives me.
It's so delicious, Like I can't.
Get joy while you're eating it.
No, I'm not like you sucking on a kit cat. I cannot.
I just.
A big second on a big cat. I don't understand, like savoring. I tried this weekend, but we got these really good sweets, like vegan sweets that they gave us in Boston and backstage, and I literally like, if you want to bring me stuff, guys, no one ever bring me. I just don't eat sugar. I don't enjoy cakes. I don't enjoy cookies. I don't care if they're vegan. I just don't like sugar.
I'm not into it.
But this weekend I was like, I'm gonna just treat myself to a macaron I've never had one of those macaroni macaron Yeah, Like they look like little hamburgers but they're all one color.
Yeah, yeah, the French hamburger.
They are fucking amazing. No, what people need to be talking more about these. I know they were probably big in like twenty eleven or something, but they Having one of those was enough for me. And I liked that it feels like a meringue, almost like an empty like there's like it's like a foaminess to it that makes it feel like it's pumped with a lot of air, so you don't feel like you're.
Eating this dense thing.
But then I did, and I did have a There was like a cheesecake and a jar, and I had just done six shows and I was like, I don't wanna fucking treat myself and that was so good, and I did. I was able to just eat half of it and not eat the whole thing because it was like I was really proud of myself.
I was like, am I a real woman?
Like there are things I do sometimes where I'm like, I feel so cool, like when I get a tall latte instead of a Venti. When I just do things that are like I'm just a normal lady that SIPs on a tall latte.
That's all I would want.
The only reason I can get a tall is because I've had three Venti's in the last hour. It would never occurred to me when people just get one coffee a day and it's a small Sean, you're a venty guy too.
I'm a Venti. I need more.
I just need Like I don't know what it is, but I just even find like when I'm doing like Uber Eats, I kind of oways so overorder.
Like I know that's whenever I give someone a Uber Eats order and I'm like, send it to the group. I always tell people get as much as you want, because if I was asked to add to an Uber Eats order that someone else was paying for, I'd be like, I guess I can only get an entree instead of two entrees and a salad and a soup. Like I'm like, I have a scarcity thing where it's like it's not gonna.
Be enough exactly.
Whenever I'm ordering, I'm like, oh, man, like I know me, and then like I really, Then I'm.
Like, wait, I don't know me.
I know me too, Yeah, I have no idea who I am.
It's my biggest problem.
Macarons are great, did you Yeah? And also macarones are most of the time gluten free. In case you are Celiac person, that's the one that's one of the rare desserts that's like not an ice cream or something like that is gluten free.
No, you don't like desserts, right? You don't like sweets?
Me?
No, no, me, I'm not.
I'm not really a sugar person, but I have been and my eating habits have definitely changed as a parent because I have what does that mean to eat? So like just like the pacing right my food. I used to be a moderate eater and now I just like shove everything into my gullet and just eat, eat, eat, and then I and then you know, I get occupied with the baby and stuff.
What's your go to?
Like I need to eat fast and I don't have time whatever.
You have, I just I just like I'm so used to it because I've been doing it for so long that I just shovel everything into my mouth.
Like what like if you right now were like had fifteen minutes to eat something like what would be in your kitchen right now that you would put in your.
Mouth, probably like a tie dish or some some like like pan Asian dish?
Would you eat it up?
Yeah?
Oh yeah for sure? And is it something that you like ordered before that's like leftovers or is it something you made over the weekend?
Uh?
Like either, just whatever's in the fridge.
Just get stop together, Like, it's not handfuls of chips. It's not a protein bar. Like I don't even understand how po live on hoptine bars.
While also when I'm nursing, I just have to just constantly be eating and drinking water. So yesterday I was sitting there just like eating an entire bag of chips.
Yeah, I'm definitely putting down some bags of chips on my own, and then I offer like people like last night I brought skinny pop over my parents' house and my mom had like two handfuls, and so it made me feel like I didn't eat the whole bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really.
A little bit, a couple of handfuls.
Yeah, I'm so disappointed.
Like as a kid, I felt like the little bag was always perfect, and now I'm like, I just want to crush.
I just want to crush.
What it's a plate of food or if it's a bag of food, I just want to like take it down so it's not it's not there tomorrow.
Oh my god.
I like wistfully think about before I had an eating disorder, when I would like get a sacked lunch and my mom would just pack like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a handful of chips in a plastic bag, a Capri son and apple, and like maybe like a Reese's cup or like a little Halloween candy and that was enough. There was no part of me that was like this is it. There was no like what else am I gonna get later on? How am I gonna finagle more food?
It was just like that was it, and I didn't I wasn't thinking about it all day because I had already eaten a breakfast in the morning that was adequate and kept me full. Like this life we live in where it's just like you try to starve yourself and wait to the next meal so that you can be
really hungry. Then you overeat, and then you feel bad about overeating, so you try to wait as long as you can before you eat next time, and then again you're so hungry, and then you overeat, and it's like this, I wish you I've broken the cycle before, but I tend to like stay in that kind of like overeat, feel sick, feel bad, wait until I'm so hungry to eat again kind of thing. I never starve myself, like if I'm hungry, I will always eat, but I will
sometimes I can't even recognize what hunger is. I don't think because I'm still so fucked up from fear, Like, well, I.
Can't possibly eat now.
My brain won't even let me because I know just ten hours ago I ate enough food for a whole day, so that's not gonna I can't wake up and go like, oh, I'm gonna.
You know, eat again. It's just it's it's a mind. It's a mind.
Fuck. Yeah, no, it sounds very mind. I can't like, yeah, I.
Don't think you relate, like, right, do you even have a relationship with food like that? Like when people don't have food noise going on? What is your life like? Honestly, I need to know you need to be more accomplishing more in your life, not just Brian.
Everyone that doesn't have food noise.
If I'm able to get this much done with the rattling around of like what are you gonna eat next?
How much did you just eat?
What's are you sure that everyone is gonna eat with you when you eat next? Because if people don't eat, then you feel bad about eating too much. But they just ate, so they're not gonna be as hungry as you when you all sit down to eat. So then when you sit down to eat, you're gonna be judging that you're eating too much around them, and they're not gonna be like that is what's going on up here all of the time.
Yeah, the time.
Chris can't stand it.
It's it's hell to be married to it, or we're not married, but be partnered with it.
But I wasn't a slip, by the way, don't go she was married.
I keep saying that headlines now it's we're not married, we're not we but I always easier to it just sounds communicates commitment.
That we're at that boyfriend does it anyway, go on.
But I'm always jealous of what when we eat with Brian, because Brian, you'll just like order a soup and be okay, and then I'm like, it's like, yeah, no, I like.
He can like in between, he'll like be like he'll like be about to eat something like a spoonful of soup, and then he'll put it down and go Actually, I was thinking that maybe if we approach that one bit differently, and the soup will be on the spoon, not in his mouth, like hovering in the air, getting cold, getting like unpleasing, and then the soup will become so cold from him talking because he he is like prioritizing communication
over this dumb soup, which should be doing that. The soup will become inedible, and then he'll go, I don't really want this right now, and he'll just set it down. I can't even get I can't even comprehend.
That I'm jealous of that.
I'm like, I could have.
The nuclear codes and like be able to prevent something, and I would still say it through soup in my mouth.
I just I think you're either one or the other.
But I will say I'm not saying Brian's food situation is just so enviable because a lot of it is wrapped around it's gonna make your teeth hurt. Oh yeah, you have a lot of energy going into that that. Yes, you have different noise. I don't need to make it seem like everyone does have noise.
Yes, one thing I do. One thing I do that I'd like to stop doing is if I'm in like, if I'm like telling a story or something, I will frequently like put food in my mouth and then I'll just have the food in my mouth.
No, you don't not to me, you do not.
I've noticed that you will because I pay attention, you will put it down.
I've never seen you talk through food.
Wow, well I I.
Maybe I just think it's your dipping or something.
Yeah.
No, because I got very good at it. I've gotten very good at having like a like a squirrels amount of storage of food in my cheek while I'm telling a story.
Heir, it is more grown out, so it's really hard to tell. Oh yeah, you can.
Realize that it's I'm slowly distributing morsels into my throat.
While there's some good morsels that you can get in your gums. My favorite is when you need animal crackers, the build up of animal crackers in your gums is as delicious as the original animal cracker. That's That's one that I will speak you when.
We get back.
I want to talk to you about a timid Timothy Chalomey thing that I wanted to get everyone's feedback on because I read it last night and I go, oh, this will be perfect for the podcast.
So stay tuned for that right after that.
Okay, So I guess Timothy Shallomey just made history. This is BuzzFeed Instagram. Timothy Shallomey just made history. Is the youngest person ever to win Best Actor in a Leading Role at the SAG Awards, and his acceptance speech proves that in an industry built on the art of pretending,
Timmy is as real as it gets. Okay, So I originally read the headline on bus Heed is Timothy Schallomey did something many actors are afraid to do in his unconventional acceptance speech at the SAG Awards, and people are seriously impressed.
Oh what's it going to be? Go to the next slide. The next slide is.
Uh is a quote from from his speech, and then it says, holy shit, Uh Timmy, what a speech?
Oscar next?
Okay, so this is the speech, and I want us all to weigh in on it, okay, because it is different than most speeches.
And this is Timothy shalamay.
Shout out North America. Shout out Earth.
Yeah, I showed out.
Shout out heavy awards that aren't as good as uh, you know.
An Oscar or wait a second, quick quick shout out WGA Awards because Nicki Glazer one a w GA Award for some day you all die. Congrat Thank you.
So much, thank you, thank you. It's my first award.
It's an incredible award.
Yeah, I'm really really award.
Because you're being acknowledged by your fellow writers.
Yeah, I mean it truly is the War Award out of all of the ones that I was nominated for, Grammy, Emmy, Critics Choice.
That Golden Globe.
That really I you know, it would have been nice to win all those, but as someone who voted in some of those, you just pick like your friends or you pick like it's like a popularity contest.
It's not.
No one watches everything, but writers are not nice. But here's the thing. I determined that I either won because I'm they respected my writing or they hate everyone else in the category, because.
I know a lot of times I will vote based on.
I just don't want that person to win, and I will pick anyone else that has been nice to me before for or like. So it isn't always about the merit of it, and that's okay. I think we really need to acknowledge that that is. This is not the Olympics. You're not being and even the Olympics, I would say, is not completely fair. You can't completely objectively judge something without putting your own personal.
There are a couple of questionable judgments in the gymnastics category last Olympics.
But I will say, I will say not to poopoo what you just said, but it is but to poo pooh away A lot A large portion of the WGA members are drama writers who truly actually love comedy and like have none of the hang ups that like the comedy writers do, and like none.
Of the jealousies or putting people like.
Yeah like they're like they're just like true fans like uh And I only know this as I've been around them, and they suck like they like genuinely love things like and I I can't comprehend how.
You do that.
No, it meant so much to me, It really did, Like that was like whoa. And I will say that. Robbie pra of Netflix did text me the day before the awards and was like, but hey, buddy, I hope you win, just to let you know Netflix couldn't submit so.
You have a better chance.
I was like, wow, he's always strolling me, but also really supportive. But he was like in other words, he was like, what have gone to Chappelle? Had it not, had we been able to, had we submitted?
But submit? Why because it's I don't think that.
I think they choose not to.
I don't know why, because it doesn't matter, doesn't impress anyone.
They can't put it on a billboard, but I will put try polish.
Okay, this is what Timothy said when he accepted his SAG Award. I know we're in a subjective business, but the truth is I'm really in pursuit of greatness. I know people don't usually talk like that, but I want to be one of the greats.
I'm inspired by the greats. I'm inspired by the greats.
Here tonight, I'm as inspired by Daniel da Lewis, Marlon Brando, and Viola Davis, as I am by Michael Jordan, Michael Phelps, and I want to be up there. So I'm deeply grateful. This doesn't signify that, but it's a little more fuel. It's a little more.
AMMO to keep going. Thank you so much.
Okay, So people are saying that it's arrogant, you know, like the naysayers are saying it's arrogant. It's he threw the Sagward under the bus, which I would argue, no, he did not. He was just saying, like, I'm not there yet. This doesn't mean that I've winning, This doesn't mean that I've risen to that level, but it's a little more fuel on the what how did he say?
Right?
And also let's just be honest here. I mean, Sagward is a level below an oscar. I mean there is a way to go. Just can people stop being ridiculous about the truth.
Yes, but some of the comments are did the greats ever talk like this? I'm sorry, So eighty five percent of the sag members who aren't famous aren't in pursuit of greatness and aren't.
Working hard enough. And then someone said he's a narcissist. Uh.
So funny how when Anne Hathaway was proud of her work in her speech, she got the whole opposite reaction. I do think that that's an interesting thing to note. And then someone, uh, yeah, people, people, Uh, the ego is huge, mind blown, mind blown, mind blowed emoji.
What do you.
Guys make of it? Because before I go off on it.
Fuck you, fuck the internet, funk all those people typically you know what this reminds me of.
Honestly, have the board at Club Shalome.
We know it reminds me.
Of a similar person striving for greatness who made a similar type comment. And I believe it was an amazing comment to make, and it just showed how confident they were. And that was when Nicky Glazer was asked, what do you think about being selected as being the host of the Golden Globes And you said, I think they made the right choice. Yeah, I think they made a smart choice. It's just believing in yourself and being confident and manifesting and said.
I don't always feel that way.
Let me be honest, Like that would be insane if I always was like, yeah, me taking this Blotti's class. It was a right choice for this place to you know, give me a free week trial, you know, like I know when I suck. But yeah, that was just yeah, I just knew that I.
Was your confidence. That was Babe Ruth pointing the bat over the wall saying I'm going to hit a home run or the hangout Sean.
That that was Babe Ruth. And he pointed, he pointed out, do you know the Babe Ruth.
Thing, Nicky.
I recall it like I can see it in my mind of him like calling the shot.
Yeah, he called the shot, and he says, I'm going to hit a home run essentially, and if he doesn't hit a home run, man, that's embarrassing.
But you don't call it like it happens to a lot, not him though, remember.
The times it does go well. I think it's like a type of bias.
But I think this rolls.
I think what Timothy did rules and I don't even think this is like a new thing. I feel like Marlon Brando was like sew up his ass and calling himself like the greatest actor that ever lived in like the late fifties and early sixties and like to the point where he was like holding out for money and doing all that shit. And then al Pacino when he was nominated for an oscars, he showed up on so
many painkillers. He couldn't do this, but he definitely believed it, Like, I mean, yeah, but it's not like there's a gen Z type of thing where he like kind of grew up with rap and like kind of like Braggadocio, And I think it was just like a new level of I think.
It was humility, like he was showing humility in that a lot. I didn't really see it as Brad exactly. No, I think it's Fragodocio.
Braggadoc show is also my favorite rapper, but I think that he Isn't it most vulnerable? Isn't it more vulnerable to say I want to be one of the greats? Isn't it vulnerable to say here is my goal, Now watch me try to achieve, rather than pretend like you don't want to be.
One of the Well, I really don't like the argument of like, so so why even say it, Like don't we disassume you want to be great?
No?
No, no, no, not everyone who's famous or who works in comedy or acting or sports really goes to become is like trying to achieve greatness.
They all might say they are, but they are leaving.
They are leaving you know, potential behind because they don't they're not doing everything they can to be great. We know the people that do, the Kobe's, the Tom Brady's, the Daniel day Lewis is, the the Jeremy Strong's. Like, you know what you can do to be great, and people don't do it, So you're not trying to be great. It's it's a you're just showing up and you're getting by and you can't get by.
Trust me, I've gotten by a lot without trying to be great.
But no, for so many, For so many, it's just the money that like, is.
That motivates you.
Yeah, like Jeremy.
Strong, if he wasn't try to be great, he would be like, I don't know, the Incredible Hulk or some shit.
Yeah, like he's not. He does look like he could be caring.
There's other motivations, but people just assume that because someone's in the spotlight, they're always trying their best and they're always striving to be one of the best, and it's just not true. As someone who has been able for many years to costpuy on just doing, you know, knowing what I could.
Do, and I still do that.
There are still jobs where I just go, I could nail this, and I know exactly what I could do to nail it. I don't have energy for it. So I'm going to be good, but I'm not going to be great. And you make that decision every day with every project you do. So I think it is notable to say I want to be the great, the greatest and to call your shot in and it might even actually inspire him to do it because he's like I
just said it on this kind of platform. I can't not show up to my acting class tomorrow, I can't stay out late drinking tonight, and like yeah, like the I think that really that really helps. Like I I wrote something to Sean yesterday about a thing I'm coming up doing, and I deleted it immediately because I was like, I don't want evidence that I ever said this, but this is what I want to achieve in doing this.
It's like maybe a petty achievement because it's like I want to be the best at the whatever, you know, But it struck me after I said it.
As being like almost like petty.
It struck me as being petty and a little bit overly competitive when it really doesn't need to be that thing. But for me to achieve greatness, I need to be competitive. I have to create a fake race in my head that's maybe no one else is paying attention to, and then I can yes.
Blazon.
But people are paying attention to everything because.
Like everything's competition.
Everyone is always trying to be the greatest the moment.
Tell me a comedy show that you don't walk away from and you see multiple comedians and you don't talk to your friends on the way home about who was the best?
Tell me that.
Tell me any time you go anywhere and you see multiple different performing different things. And then one can be doing a musical number, one can be doing a comedy number, one could be doing a dance number.
You don't go what was your favorite dance number? What was your favorite comedy you?
You you pit them against themselves, even though they're all different things happening at different parts of the show.
It is a competition.
And so whenever I see an improv show, I don't do that. Whenever I see an improv show, because they're all equally bad.
Yeah, yeah, I would think of an inm broad show.
You would definitely go like on the way home, if I ever went to go see one, I would definitely be like that one girl was the best that got like we love to rank things.
Yes, by the way, just quickly and shout out to Magnet Theater, which is this improv theater in New York City. Have you ever performed there, Sean the Magnet Theater in New York.
Oh yeah, oh my god, I've performed with the Magnet Theater.
Where is it? I think I've probably done it too.
It's on twenty eighth or twenty ninth Street between seventh and eighth Avenue. And it was, oh that I have survived in its forms, it somehow has had this staying power that the UCB and even different form of the Pit, the other two big improp theaters in New York City did not have. And it was because of like the strong community, because they never had any desire to grow beyond being a strong community, but they are having.
They did want to strive for greatness.
They didn't strive exactly.
You know.
The Magnet, I think famously was like, we're not striving for greatness. We're not getting involved in the muck of the industry. We just want people to come here and have a good time and make friends.
It was friends community and like the art of improv, Like it was just in the pursuit of like being like having fun with improv. Like UCB was like, I need to be in a T mobile commercial, right.
And because of that, the Magnet Theaters survived through COVID because where the UCB didn't. The UCB shut down.
Because it was based on money.
Yeah, And and for the Magnet, it was like the community was like, there's no way we're going to let this die because I mean, we won't have anyone. We're to hang out with our friends anyway. The Magnet Theater is having their twenty year anniversary next month, and I just want to shout out to the Magnet. So we're just talking about improv quick quickly and I shit on it.
I uh, I just want to shout out to them because they they were They gave me like the most stage time in New York City out of any venue in the entire city for the time I was there.
That's nice congratulation that you did that.
The Magnet.
Congratulations twenty years. You never even think you're going to be around for twenty years. Like whenever a business is like established twenty twenty two, I'm like, get that.
Off of there.
No one cares what you were established.
But in twenty years it's kinna seem like something, you know what I mean? You have to write and established at some point you got to Like we were even talking about it this weekend, about like taking photographs and like how I would like love if people had photographs of me in the comedy community back in two thousand and seven, two thousand and eight, two thousand, like when I first started. But at the time, you're just like I don't want people taking pictures all the time, Like
I don't need all this shit. But like now I'm like, oh my god, Like we just don't. We never foreseen nostalgia, at least I don't. I don't anticipate it, like I'm trying to by keeping some things. Like this weekend, someone made me a dress that has Tom Brady's face on it, and I was like, we can just like give it to someone, and then someone was like, well, what if the woman that made it for you finds out you just gave it away? I'm like, I hope she's not hurt,
because why would I wear that again? But like, okay, let me just keep it because maybe someday that'll mean something to me. And of course it will be like, oh my god, that was my first time like selling out all these big shows.
That was like the year that my life.
Broke open, and you know, and but I'm not having a daughter, and I doubt like Poppy will give a fuck about that dress. But maybe it'll go to a museum someday if I get shot by my assistant or.
Something, or you'll be buried in it.
Yeah, okay, if I fit in it when I'm that age, Yeah, that would be great. Bury me in that dress one hundred percent, have the in memoriam be the popular picture. And yeah, I just don't see myself being like in a museum unless I die tragically, because in like some kind of Selena way.
So that's why I said, she shot by my assistant.
Gen Zia.
I have to be like, do you have to die tragically to be like an icon?
I think to be an icon?
Yeah, like I'm sorry, James Dean, like a car accident like Sam Kinnison car accident, like Marilyn Monroe overdose young, Like no one cares when you're like pass away. At ninety four, I get an alert that some woman named Buzzy Winthrop died like he was the biggest actress in ninety thirty three. It was nice CNN that you gave me that, But like, of course she's dead, she's ninety nine, Like it's not interesting.
You're right, we always worship the people who died at their peak.
That's like it.
Yeah, Like it's like we never got to see Nirvana just start sucking yea, so like Kirk Obain gets to be like Kirk Obain forever.
We never got to see what like Saddam Hussein was gonna get up to in his later years.
Yeah, we should have given him a shot. Yeah, that's why we know so much now.
His comedians and cars getting coffee was gonna be so funny.
I was actually reading on a sub SNL subreddit where like it's SNL fans dissecting the show.
It's the subreddit live.
From New York, if you're interested, and they they were talking at one guy was like I just don't get blue shy, like explain blushy to me. And I was reading the comments and they were like, actually, I hate him because he would tank any sketch that a woman wrote I found out, which makes me immediately hate him. And I know that he's like a beloved icon, but
I honestly have never really left anything he like. I think he was good in Animal House, but I don't really care about Cheaberger Cheaberger or like him dressed as a bee or like, I just don't I haven't laughed. I haven't given it a chance, really, but finding out he's a massive misogynist, which everyone was in the seventies, so I give him a little bit of a past because of the time. But his a lot of people said he is revered because his death.
Was tragic, absolutely, and like they all knew he was going to speedball cocaine and yeah, yeah, like he was like I don't get Blushi like, and I even I like Animal House. I like the Blues Brothers movie, fine, but I don't understand him. And then I'm reading this book about Lauren Michaels and like he was just a piece of shit the entire time, and like got fired so many times because he was like impossible to work with.
Thought he was better than the show, and then you watch his sketches and it's like cheap Berger, chea Berger, it's samurai guy. Like, it's likely some of the.
Worst shit ever put on television.
Well, comedy does not hold up obviously.
Sure at the Animal House though, that's what he's really, That's why he's got the he's got the poster and everyone's dorm room because of iconic.
He's just a funny looking guy too.
But yeah, we we were in Boston over the weekend and we had we did a thing on Saturday that we can't talk about.
Secret the secret kind of society.
Invited to a secret society, needing to be to me, to be honored by this, by this prestigious.
Grove or sculling bone.
Yeah, it's kind of like it's kind of like a less funny skull and Bones.
No, I really, let me just say, if any of those people are listening, we can't talk about what it was.
But I had an amazing.
Time on the last half of that experience, Like it was it was actually the whole thing was really entertaining and kind of like it's funny to talk about with only the people that experienced it with me because I can't talk about it publicly, but you know when sometimes when you have like an annoying experience, it's fun to like, you know, talk about it later, I will say afterwards, going to lunch and talking to everyone and hanging out when the all the bs was over with, it was
one of the most rewarding favorite going to lunch and talking to people. That was one of the most favorite things I've ever done. It could have been it was I could have done it. We were talking about later. I could have done it all day. I really it made me realize I want to go talk to young people that are smart and tenacious and and just interesting and funny and like just so cool. It was so fun. I had the best time before that not that fun.
It was not that fun, and it was like, oh no, Like it truly felt like you got into an uber And then you realized slowly that the driver was fucked up.
And that the locks were sawed off.
Yeah, and he was blasting his own music and making you sing along yeah, and you didn't know the words.
But then once you got home and you kind of realized that this person was just pretending with dropped.
So we went through a thing with like in the secret kind of world. You have to go through this like kind of a little bit of an initial.
Animal sacrifice involved, right.
No, I was waiting for that. I would have loved to sacrifice some of the people.
Involved, but they were animals.
No, it was it's they and the people listening know that this sucks, Like they are smart enough to know that this whole thing sucks.
But the reason that it sucks is because it was.
No, they are so smart and they they all had this kind of air about it, like I'm sorry, we have to do this kind of thing.
Yeah, they were like they were really their hearts weren't in it, and you could feel it right away. Right away we got to talking to them, they were like actually very funny and like quick, oh my god.
We couldn't stop talking about how much we loved all of you, and we wish we could say publicly who you are, but we can't because of this dumb rule, because of your dumb like the dumb, secretive, secret special society.
Thing about it. That and this is what I learned. When something is.
When you're prohibited from talking about something afterwards, and you make it so no one can give you notes on it. No one can dissect it and maybe give you some critical help with it, constructive criticism. You it's the same, and it's over the years. Something especially something based in comedy. If it is something that is written and planned out in nineteen or like possibly eight late eighteen hundreds and maybe not updated since the nineteen forties, it doesn't work anymore.
Secrecy, Yes it is. If it inspired this conversation.
It's like if you I was living in the Canterbury Tales, which you just go, this isn't This doesn't work now comedically, but it is, and it's it's barely interesting too. No offense, like truly no offense, because if I were one of these people, I would have done the same exact thing. You're locked into a thing that you can't get out of, but it needs to be updated. I have production notes.
If you want to reach out, we will be happy to give you some to make a good experience so that the experience that we had at the tail end of it is as good as the rest of it.
And I'm sorry for the listener being like what are you talking about?
But like, just imagine a group inviting you to like say hey, what's up, and then you have to watch a play first that you're like a part of it's sleep no More but you but it's but but not good, Yeah, an interactive play. And then then after the play, all the actors drop it and then they're real people, and then it's the most fun you've ever had.
Yeah, it's it was so wild.
And if you wonder what we're talking about, we're talking about the Doge Committee.
Some of them will be working there.
They let us delete a few Social Security numbers and it was like so rewarded.
So fun.
But before that, you have to watch the play. And that's why I.
Just it was reminded.
It reminded me of this thing I read about the did I talk did I talk about I know I talked to both of you about this separately, but did I talk about how why there aren't playing crashes because of on this podcast?
What I learned I read in a really long article.
Okay, I'm gonna synthesize it when we get back, but it's actually as interesting, I promise you. And it has to do with this thing of like we need, you need open dialogue for things to get better.
And for things to run efficiently.
And I don't think it's hat that you read instead of sending out, instead of outsourcing.
I read the whole thing and I did put it on my Instagram story because I was like, everyone needs
to know this. It will give you peace of mind about flying and feeling safe and doing that, but it will actually not make you feel good after what if it gets taken over by the people that I think it's going to be taken over by, Because okay, I'll tell you about that when we get back, right when we get back, Okay, So pretty much the reason that there aren't plane crashes is because no one's ever blamed for it.
Have I talked about this on air before?
I don't think so.
I don't think it at air.
Okay, So this is all gonna be me kind of speaking like I don't know all the official words for it, but the like pretty much the mandate from the FAA and like everyone who regulates a marriage, and I think this is global, like you know, handles plane crashes and regulates what they're able to do and where they're able to go and navigation.
And all that stuff.
If there is an error, if there's a plane crash, no one gets blamed. Let me say that again. There is never an investigation after an airplane mishap a crash where if they try to figure out whose fault it is. All they try to do after a crash is to find out what happened, what led to this mistake that someone made. Yes, they eventually go, okay, this person made this mistake, but they will never punish that person. That person will never lose their job. They will never be
tried before a jury of their peers. They will never be fired, they will never be docked paid, they will never be put on leave ever.
Because it is it is.
They all agree that if you work for the if you work as an air traffic control person, if you work as a pilot, it is under the assumption that you are always doing the best job you can and that no one would ever not be right.
So if something happened, it's a mistake you didn't mean to.
We are humans, We will fault at some point, and just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you need to be fired. And because of this, and now this is the interesting part that I love. It's the psychological part, because there is never any blame placed on anyone for anything that goes wrong. When something does go wrong. Everyone tells the truth again. Everyone tells the truth when they're asked about like how did this plane get hit?
What happened?
Why did you leave that plane on the tarmac and then signal for this other plane to land? That woman who made that mistake says, I just you know, I was distract I couldn't the camera on the that is pointing towards the tarmac doesn't light that one section that's where the plane was stalled.
I couldn't see it. I fucked up. I knew it was there.
I just forgot because then I got distracted by another phone call. I didn't sleep the past fourteen hours because of this thing they take. She can be completely honest about what happened, and it actually explain that it was her fault and she's never going to face any comp sequences for it. And people go, oh, that's wrong, like you should punish someone for fucking up. Well, what happens when you punish someone for fucking up is that they have reason to lie and cover up why it happened.
And when people cover up why it happened and go, well, it was because actually I didn't tell that plane to wait there. They waited there themselves, and then that woman just gets to lie and say that because all the people on the plane are dead, so we can never really check if that plane actually did stay there by themselves or not. If she's lying about that, we'll never know.
But if she tells the truth and says, yeah, I told them to wait there, and I fucked up, and then I signaled the other plane to land and a crash into it, then we know, let's what can we do to never make that happen again, as opposed to covering it up. So when Trump gets in there with all of his people, who all all they do is punish and place blame and say who did what? When you know whoever, it's not just Trump like, when it becomes regulated by people who like to place blame and punish,
then that lies start. And when lies start, problems don't get solved, and problems get repeated and things get covered up, And that to me circles back around to what we
went through. Because if there was an opportunity to say freely what you don't like and what is wrong without feeling like you're going to be punished for revealing some secret, things can be better and an enjoyable experience and maybe you know, you can get a ton more comedians that you want to come and do it because they're all telling each other how great it was.
Yeah, And also think about the resources being expended. It's very backwards looking to try to assign blame, and it takes a lot of resources to do an investigation to figure out and then also to defend against the person who is.
And they get lawyers, and what lawyers do, they lie, and so with lies cover up the truth.
And when the truth is covered up, you can't remedy it.
You can't fix the bolt that wasn't screwed in tight enough, where that guy goes, oh, I didn't screw it in tight enough because I wanted to get to lunch. Okay, well, then maybe we need to look at these people are not eating enough, We're having lunch breaks a little too late, and so the bolts aren't getting screwed. So then they move the lunches, so now the bolt targeting screwed, like things can be remedied.
It shifts the focus from looking back at something that happened and trying to assign blame and to looking forward and saying, how can we make sure that this is never going to happen again in the future.
Not to mention when you're punishing that person who fucked up in that way, then they have lost left their like you know, like their perch, and now you're filling that like that hole that you just had with somebody who's maybe underqualified, who is more willing to lie.
And then yeah, we're or and now.
They didn't just learn the most valuable lesson that they'll never make that same misake.
Again ever do it again.
And it's like it's it's the same thing as like we don't punish fathers who accidentally leave their I mean, I think sometimes they're tried, but most of the time, if there is a like a child dies because of like a parent's negligence, they're not thrown in jail. It's like it's not you we know that no one would
actually do that on purpose. I know that some parents do do that, but like Jathon know, like it would be if we had someone who purposely flied a plane and flew a plane into another plane, that would open up a whole thing of like now everyone's looking at each other like who's here to do the wrong thing? Like yeah, right, they just need to look at the hiring practices. That's someone who fucked up in the hiring practices, and that person doesn't need to be punished for hiring
a psychopath. They need to have Now let's let's give maybe a different kind of psychopath test.
Yes, like learning the lesson is so important, Like did you ever notice that, like OJ Simpson never killed.
Again that we know of, We know that just lesson.
I think I think so too.
But it's really good Rob after that, Yeah, he did and feel his own shirts.
As Norm said, what.
Was Norm's joke about that?
I just don't think you should go to jail for twenty five consecutive life sentences for stealing your own show.
Yeah, because it was about his own merchandise that he was trying to get back that like subsequent charge.
Nor that's so many great OJ jokes.
But yeah, it's like it's the whole thing about like you know, if someone murders someone, it's like not really their fault.
They were just born with a murderer's brain and they were.
Like abused as a kid that made them a psychopath and all the things that it's not really their fault. The situation in the brain that they were born with final thought. I'm getting into no free will, Sam Harris. But the reason we punish them and we lock them away is to protect people from them. Right So that like an air traffic controller who makes a mistake, if they did it on purpose, it was determined, I'm guessing that they.
Would go away, but I don't.
What I'm saying is like they they're not investigated under the assumption that they are going to be put in jail or that they did it on purpose, Whereas you know, when we try people, we go, what the fuck you did this? You meant to do this, you wanted to do this, and then we throw you in jail. But it sets an example for other people that deters people from murdering. Now, you know, someone who accidentally makes a mistake as an air traffic control person, them going to
prison for life for making mistake. I don't think it's going to deter other people from making that mistake. I think it's already ingrained in people that they don't want plane crashes, right Like, So, the reason we punish murderers is to set an.
Example and to protect people.
So it's very It's just interesting that like I just love that somehow this you know, aviation, this like really highly the with such a high margin of like accidents and like it's crazy they're planes flying in there. They really don't have that many accidents compared to any other thing. Like it's safe, extremely safe, and it's because of this. It was this really great article. If you want to read it, it says.
What I said much more.
If you want to look it up, just literally DM me and I'll find it for you because I can't remember what to google.
I asked you a question about your weekend. I have so many blood points here. Uh so you were in Fort Lauderdale and something happened at dinner with the weight stuff.
Oh though they came and they gave the food right, Yeah, it was hilarious.
It was insane.
No, no, they that was like one of the most delicious meals in a really long time.
What happened? Did I do something funny or you know?
They just like they were so attentive.
They were very attentive and the meal was incredible and like it was the best hummus I've ever had. And I didn't know trouble but you could, yeah, you could elevate hummus to this level, but it takes like seventy two hours of.
Yeah it took I was going to kill you shot. Did you see the look I shot you when you asked, now, why would the hummus take seventy two hours? Because he was describing each dish and like, I'm sorry, this is gonna sound rude. I don't care about how something's made, or the ingredients or what region of Italy.
The cooking is based on.
Like when I'm hungry, I don't want to sit and look at it while you described to me.
The forum where they start from. As they started, they start talking about.
Icy, but like you can't start eating yet, you have to like wait and while they're done with their power point presentation.
And I'm not trying to be rude.
I this is going to be diarrhea in three hours.
Like I don't care. I don't. I don't there are I'm sure there.
Are people that do care about what region of Florence that this type of thing, that this dish is inspired by the cooking from that area, and I guess it is interesting. I but when I'm like post show and like want to just eat and I'm kind of hungry, I don't really care.
I don't care, just down.
Yeah.
It's also insane too. They kept the restaurant open for us, which is so kind, so nice to do this spiel. And I mean like they kept checking to make sure after every bite if it was to our liking, which was.
It was very flagrant.
And I realize now I should not have been at.
Yeah, bitch, Oh, it is like it's like when my mom we were checking to a hotel once and I was just like they were telling us about the gym and what time the coffee bar is open, and what time there are appetizers and then what time, you know, just telling us and then oh, there's actually construction going on in the second floor, but that won't affect you because it only begins on Monday. And you guys check out on Monday. And my mom goes, so, what's the
construction for? And I just look over her, like are you And they haven't given us the card yet, like they're waiting to present all of this until they give us the cars. Why would you ever? I gave her the biggest tongue lashing in the elevator. She I mean, it wasn't like I was being tongue in cheek about it. But I'm just like, why would you ever care? Why did you need to know that? Like I think sometimes people just like want to keep things vacation.
You just want to know things that you don't normally want.
To the construction that you're not going to encounter at a place that you don't go on a vacation.
You're walking around a city and you're like, I wonder what that water is for? Like it like, I wonder what that statue means.
No, I guess I want to be more curious. This is my problem.
I think something just clicked in my brain because, like I hit a vape and when he said seventy two hour hummus, I was.
Like, no, it is funny because it's like, what the fuck are you doing for?
But they are fermented.
For that long?
I think, yeah, yeah, And then I was I was waiting for him to leave so I could say seventy two hours for the hummus, seventy three hours to get the bread that you.
Just asked for five minutes ago.
Like literally we were done with peta, but we had all this saumas in front of us, and then we we go we love the hummus. He goes that actually takes seventy I go, can we get some more peda? We're like, like, listen, we're in the middle of finishing hummus. Can you please don't think that I'm obnoxious for thinking that this is a weird thing.
But we are out of pita.
It's a table of people and there's tons of homas still left, right, and I go, or we're about to.
Be out of one?
Then I go that we get more pita justa well, I think they were kind of out of it because they later told us that they only had one more kind of up.
Closing yes, okay, yeah, vessels, but still every time you get, oh my god, vessels.
We don't have any more of that vessel, but we do have this hummus vessel.
And it was a pretzel but it was so good.
Oh my god, this place was brother so delicious and so worth the monologues we had to hear before we ate everything.
But I go, can we get some more bread? And he goes, oh God, isn't that hummus great? And I go, we love it.
We just want to eat more of it, you know, like because there's nothing to eat it with. And I didn't say that, but like, that's what I meant, and he goes, and then that's when Sean goes and you know, then he goes, yes, it actually takes seventy two hours, scoo. I'm like, why are you telling us about the hummus when we want more bread feet?
We're looking at.
It, we were sold, we love it. And so that's when Sean asked about the seventy two hours. And that's when I looked at Sean like, are you fucking kidding me right now that we have to now hear about the seventy two hour process, which involves many steps by the way, because it's seventy two hours, And that's when I said, it takes seventy three hours to order it, and uh, but it was, Yeah, that was the funny thing. But they were so nice and they really took care
of us. And I really shout out to that restaurant, like, you know who you are. If this is getting back to you, I'm sorry we made fun of you. That's not very nice, cause it was delicious food. And then but then even like you know, even my my promotions company this weekend in Boston was like, hey, Nikki, for Sunday night, we're having a sushi chef come in and make you sushi in between shows, and I was like, can I just tell you that's not what I like. I'm so sorry, thank you for the gift. But like
I and I go, am I paying for this? They're like, no, this is like a thing we thought you would really like, and I'm like, that's so sweet. I should just have shut up and said thank you, but instead I said for next time, like I don't like warm sushi, like I don't like room temperature sushi, so I don't want it made on the spot ever, because I like the rice to be and also I don't want to talk to a chef about what they did exactly. And are we paying him enough that he doesn't feel the need
to talk to me about it? And the truth was yes, I was communicated, Yes you would.
Don't worry.
It's like it's gonna be in between shows. By the way, this is I'm doing six shows, you guys. So don't think Nikki's such a bit she doesn't have time to talk to a chef. Of course I do. I like went in. I was like, thank you so much for being here. This looks delicious, and then he had to teach me which each thing was, which is like, I think I know what avocado and eggplant look like. That's fine,
So I've kind of beating him to it. I go, okay, so that's egg plan and that's you know, and then that's the at a mom may and he's like, oh, you really know, and I'm like, well, I've been to a Japanese restaurant once before, very sweet, and he made me do a boomerang holding his food, so that was that was fine, But but.
I was just like, I don't want to.
I don't you know, every time you get a nice thing, you have to like there's an effort of talking to the person and making a thing about it, like when the chef's are in the back of the kitchen. I respect a chef's work so fucking much.
I really do.
It's an art, but I don't I would never tell you, guys, how I write my jokes unless you asked, and unless people show curiosity. I would never talk to you about the process. I don't think it's interesting for people to hear about the process. I know that most and you could probably pull up a million different clips of me talking about the process and go actually Nikki, and you actually think we.
All would do this oppost Tomedia.
It takes seventy two hours to write that.
Fine, yeah, yeah, well and yeah, we talked about Popular and the making of that.
I get it.
There's there's but listen, there's a fast forward button on this. By the way, it isn't in real time when you're reading for your hummus.
You talked about Popular on the Niki Glazer podcast. People are trying to listen to you talk about it. Different if you are listening to that Shude cooking podcasts telling you about how you made the hummus.
Some people like to interact with people, and I do. Don't ever think like Sean, You're around me a lot like on the road.
I'm not an anti social person.
I'm not rude to people who stop by and say hi, Like I actually like interactions, but.
You I don't like yourself people.
I just don't like empty things that I'm like, I didn't ask for this and now I am being presented like it's a gift for me when I don't even want it.
We aerin and I were just talking about this about white lotus and like, oh, when they're all like sitting there at the show with dinner. You just don't want the show with dinner. I don't want the show with dinner. I just want to eat dinner. I don't care that Major.
D has to come up and tell you what a beautiful table of ladies you are, and this is our esteemed woman who curated the whole thing, and she used to be an actress, and they have to like fawn over her, Like I am the friend in that group going like, Okay, I want to get back to talking about like what our farts have been like recently, Like I want to I don't want to hear about this woman's like a relationship with her husband. I just it's not that I don't have a curiosity about people.
I clearly do. I just I'm just coming off like such a bitch. I feel like.
We've all been on both sides of that coin, because how many times have we done shows, especially early on, when we ambushed some restaurant or bar.
I'm so apologetic. I was so aogenic on stage. I never had a good set ever, saying like I'm sorry, this is like the worst thing ever.
I am the same way.
I don't I don't ever think anyone is ever like interested in meeting me. Like there's been a couple times where I haven't introduced Chris when I meet like a celebrity because I just feel bad that the celebrity doesn't even want to meet me. So I've explained to him, like, so I just assume they don't care about my partner either. They're like, he goes, you don't understand people do want to meet you. They do, they're interested in you. I'm like,
it's no offense to you. I'm not like trying to be like, oh, I'm so embarrassed of them meeting Chris.
I'm embarrassed they even have to meet me. And like, I don't think people understand that.
I walk around I generally with like why that's why when people say they.
Listen to the podcast, I always go, oh my god, I'm so embarressed. Not because I don't think this is a value.
I just have a thing running through me that nothing I say is that interesting and I don't deserve all of this, and I wish more people had that, even though I do do this.
Because I got offered money to do it.
So I'm just trusting people who give me money to do this that I am interesting but other than that, I and all the notes that besties write me and all the feedback I get, and the listeners like, I respect you, I love you, and I trust that I am interesting, but it's hard for me to believe. And I think more people need to operate from that place because I think you'd be right.
Except for Timothy Shalloony, who can say that he's going to be one of the greats.
Yeah that I mean he was. He has to say something in that moment, and it's way more interesting.
Than thank you, mom, thank you for my award.
All right, but seriously, thank you for listening to the podcast. I do love that you listen to me ramble. And I know I contradicted myself a million times, and I know I'm a.
Hypocrite so much.
Can you tell?
I just went a couples therapy guys, Thank you for listening.
Fresh off a couple therapy episode, really introspective, really suggesting myself after everything, I say, love you, guys, thank you for listening, Thanks for being here.
Sean, Brian Noah, and let's see you in tomorrow, don't Beka bye.
The Nicky Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart podcasts created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer pod and subscribe to our channel