#509 At The Big Game, NFL Honors Highlight & A Dry Mouth

The Nikki Glaser Podcast Glaser post.

Here's Nikki.

Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's the Nikki Glaser Podcast. Fresh off the super Bowl, recording this on Monday morning, got back from New Orleans to Saint Louis after being I haven't been in Saint Louis for a couple of weeks now, but landed at I think nine am. Took an hour ago. Yeah, and I took a nap, so I'm freshly out of.

A nap.

I don't even know what happened.

Yeah, well, I definitely I'm wearing song glasses right now because I have indents in my face from the sleep mask.

I was going real hard and my.

Face is real puffed up and just like really collect like a memory foam mattress, collecting like every little touch of things. So I have the sunglasses on. Just ate too much salt this week and just you know, just been super Bowl.

Out of all the holidays, first of all, the super Bowl, I think is the second most American, the second most American holiday.

It's like really defines.

America Halloween or something. Four number that's kind.

Of maybe Thanksgivings number two, but it's top three. Super Bowl should be a national holiday. But I would say that you're right. I think out of all of the holidays, Super Bowl is the most salt food consumed holiday, saltiest.

Yeah, even if you try to eat healthy, like, well, that's what healthy is is they just put lots of salt and sugar and things, and then it's like fat free and everyone thinks it's fine because we are all still brainwashed from the nineties when fat was the enemy, and why wouldn't it be it's called fat and you're trying not to be fat. Yeah, no fat phobia here. I mean, like the culture says you shouldn't be fat, and then the thing there's an agree in food called fat.

You know what it reminds me of.

It reminds me of when you were listening to the radio and there is an option. I always as a kid was like, why is there an option to turn down one instrument? Like why is there only an option to turn down the bass guitar?

Like why is it? And then the trouble.

I don't even know what the trouble was, but I was like, there's two instruments that they're like some people just don't want them in their music and to me, the bass is it's not always the bass guitar, but a lot of times the sound of bass is a bass guitar. And it's the same thing. It's like you you it's named for a thing that it doesn't represent. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Kind of anyway, I

And I had a pretzel and.

Mix it, put it in a bag, eat it up, called the New Orleans sandwich.

Then I get a lot of fruit because that's like all they have.

The game is like, if you're a vegan, it's like a pretzel is the only vegan thing and it's probably not has butter on it.

But like, what am I gonna do? I just can't.

Yeah, it's not real spray butter, fake oil, probably hydrogenized fats, probably not probably.

Hydrogenated soybean oil. Okay, Yeah, that's that's right. Thank you for making me feel better about it.

You know, like I've taken away there.

We're spending money on butter.

A great vegan but you're right, you're right, it probably is fake. So it's just like gross.

And how was the super Dome? So you went to the Super Bowl? Yeah, not but one day ago actually.

Ago.

I was hair and makeup for the Super Bowl. Yeah, time yesterday.

Glorious super Dome in New Orleans, Louisiana.

How was that? They say that that's one of the best stadiums in the country. Now, you've been a lot.

I have been to a lot, and I've actually been there for Taylor Swift.

Yeah, I've been to.

I saw Aras tour there and I saw a lot of footage of it.

During the flood, which do they name the flood? Was there a hurk? Was it named? What was it named?

Oh Katrina, like two thousand and four.

If I think it was.

But yeah, yeah, that like kind of that's what sticks in my head that.

You're like Tate McCrae with the score.

Whoa wait what Pate McCrae predicted the score she were going to win and the score would be forty to twenty two in December on a TikTok?

How did she do what?

She was just like randomly guessing. I mean, it's like it's.

It's not even like the hap that happens twenty two.

Is she goes for forty twenty two and because there was yeah in December.

Against the Chiefs or did she no? No, that is unbelievable.

Wow, it was really cool.

And she's not even American, she's from Canada. Yeah, she goes is this a football thing? Like she didn't even understand, like what would mean?

Oh my god? Well that makes me like Tate McCray more.

The Super the Dome was like, I'm gonna be honest, like, fine, I can't really compare it to other places, Like I really like an outdoor stadium, so that's always just changes things. And I am so anti turf now after watching a nine minute video I stumbled across on my Instagram.

The other day. The players hate the turf?

Why are we playing on it?

Then?

Greed cheer Greed.

It's because it's annoying to take care of grass. Even though they have new technological advancements that make it easier to roll out a grass field, they find it annoying to take care of grass. It's expensive to make grass grow. It's just like having a lawn on your front yard. You know how hard it is to keep that grass green.

And nice, there's like sixty eight percent more injuries.

No nice.

All the players hate it. They compare it to playing on concrete. And then there's this other thing.

I didn't watch the whole video, but it seems like there's like they can't really even complain about it because they'll they'll get in trouble for even saying anything bad about it.

So'st it's crazy.

They yeah, they can't take a knee because they're scared of it's gonna hurt. You're goddamn term, but like, yeah, they'll just get There's there's non contact injuries, which I didn't even know was a thing. It's like when you're running and you just twist your angle because of like a ghost or not.

Even that's what happened to Aaron Rodgers last year.

You're just kind of like, sometimes it's people on the sidelines and it's it happened to uh, our good friend and uh compatriot Mike Gibbons had a non contact injury where that's where most achilles tears happen. It's not even when you're playing. It's not even when you're getting tackled. It's not even a twist. It's just like when you start to run and all of a sudden, bo gotcha.

That makes sense, that makes sense. But yeah, it just that really upset me. Reading that.

I'm just like, oh, so, like the players can't even complain about it because they know they'll never win. Yeah, and they just don't want to spend the extra money on it.

It's like, it's like what I've been saying. It's what I said about.

There's some kind of oh about paying the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders make the cups, make a large soda one dollar extra, and then just put that towards getting grass.

Yeah, they wouldn't.

If they made it with large soda one dollar more, they'd give it to Jerry Jones so he can have another private jet that he doesn't fly.

Or what you know.

It's like it doesn't even go towards anything useful.

This is what our entire country's problem is.

What's wrong with everyone? I can't even take it.

Don't even get me started on the booing last night, Like I can't. I went fucking nuts today on Bethany Frankel's Instagram post. I couldn't take it. Like she's in the right place. She was like, you know, I didn't

Well, okay, so I'm not supporters.

The Eagles fans, and she was where she.

Obviously represents the chiefs, and they were doing anything on anyone on screen. I was there so before that it would be like then hey, and they were just showing different fans every time there were Eagles fans cheers every time there was a cheef sand booze, and so when they put her up, it was obviously booze, but but it wasn't even that that. I mean, I thought that

So I tried to go like high pitch, like.

I was just like, get the camera off of her, don't let this like what whoever was operating the.

Camera like they were going.

They were bouncing around so quick to all the celebrities, but on her, they really left it a really long time, which I understands Taylor Swift, but once this booze started, they should have got it off of her immediately. Don't make her sit and watch that and have to respond.

To itted online.

She looked so cute.

I have to say, that's like the one positive of them booing her.

She just said, and then smiling. You do I know it was. I just thought it was really embarrassing.

And so, speaking of like the backlash against Taylor Swift, I think maybe you posted this.

It was every single person like so.

I watched the halftime show and I'm a huge Kendrick fan, and I have a bad night for Jews overall, but huge because Drake's a Jew and this was like they basically the capstone of his public execution was Kendrick Lamar doing the disc track at the super Bowl. But I thought it was an amazing super Bowl halftime show. I have a few criticisms, but overall amazing. Online though tons of people saying it was the worst halftime show they've ever seen. Was it you that posted the picture of

In case you didn't know. People don't think I made it. I just I found it on Reddit.

If there would have been a creator attached to it, I would have I would have posted it. But I figured the person who posted it was just you know, yeah.

Well I was really mad by going on Twitter and seeing all these people like, well worse.

Chris and I were like, what is going on? Because we witnessed it and then you know, we also it looks different on TV, but right we also had a screen above our box where we were kind of like watching what it would be like on TV, and it was amazing, and it was just with people didn't recognize the music and there were no white people in it, I guess.

But yeah, the meme that I posted.

Is just a bunch of like, you know, Twitter avatars that are like the circle or Instagram avatars, and it's the circle, and it's just a bunch of like white men with big, you know, sunglasses on.

Every single avatar. Every single person who said this halftime show wasn't good. Was almost like the AI replicant of the same white man. I mean it was the same guy and they all had sunglasses.

All like aviators on.

Yeah.

I mean that's like the.

Classic like troll, like maga troll look on these avatars. But I didn't like the halftime show in quotes. And then it's just like all these people. I mean, I've never gotten so many responses on my an Instagram post since I said I was going to host the Golden Globes, Like everyone is writing to.

Me being like this is hilarious.

I mean, I think people know I didn't write it because it's clearly a repost, but yeah, it's so funny because it's so accurate. And yeah, people are really upset about it, I guess, and that which is just delightful to me because it was it was.

It was fun. It was very like Chris and I were just like it's it was.

It was a celebration of America, and it was like a kind of an in your face, just like you know, response to everything that's happening now.

But it wasn't too overt.

It was kind of all kind of subliminal, and you have to really be paying attention and you have to listen to the lyrics and like understand what he's saying.

And I loved it. I thought it was so good.

And I'm not even like a huge Kendrick fan now I am.

I have one critique of the halftime show. That's generals, but I think we have to go break.

Right, Okay, we'll go to break and we'll go back to our all right, we're back. What what did what was your critique of the halftime show?

The criticul of my half from show, which I agree with some of the commenters, even though that there was clear ulterior motives.

I miss when we used.

To have outrageously unrealistic mashups in half the super Bowl halftime shows, when you would pull in like ridiculous combinations of stars that you're like, you would never sears.

Yeah, exactly, Janet.

Jackson, right, so like Kendrick and Sizza and then randomly one of the Williams sisters was dancing.

Is that right? I didn't really Serena was dancing.

You used to date Drake, Oh, so.

That I that?

Yeah? Yeah, I didn't know until I got home and talked to someone.

That's huge. That's amazing. That that was like really amazing.

Yeah, and apparently Sizza also dated Drake.

Yes, wow, I mean Drake is just man, he is he can't win. He should he should literally just start.

He should like.

What's he gonna do next? Like just it better be the greatest. It's it's so much pressure.

I mean, he should just fuck a kid so that he retire, lean into it.

I mean, I don't you know, if there's groups that wouldn't mind.

He'll turn.

That's the that's the only move at this point is you take a heel turn and you're just like yeah, I'm a bad guy now and go to jail. Like you have to just become what they say you are.

Just retire like you're rich enough, like no one needs you to keep working. Like I understand that he wants to keep creating, and he's probably an artist that craves putting stuff out there.

Just then go.

I think at this point you have to like create a new person. You've got to like fears, like you have to do a different character. Because but I'm not really like sad for him, like oh he like if he were to be to be forced into early retirement, he's he's at least got you know, three hundred million dollars at least. Yeah, he's okay, Like you could just go stop, just stop doing it.

No one, we don't need more.

I mean, I create a wol if Taylor Swift stop, and someone could argue the same thing.

But you know, not that she's being forced.

But like, I don't think anyone needs to keep working after they've earned one hundred million.

Dollars other than the heel turn. Here's what he can do.

He can create an anonymous account on SoundCloud and release some unidentified tracks that don't say that they're Drake under a new name, and those.

Have become huge, and then be like it was me the whole time, right, and then we'd all lose our mind and eat crow.

Yeah. Yeah, that's one one that would be cool.

Yeah. I was waiting for some kind of like big I was waiting for Taylor Swift to come out.

I'm not gonna lie I kind of.

I was watching her box the whole night because I had a good, pretty good view of it, and I saw her like dip out a little bit before halftime, and I was like, no way, because you know, he was featured on Bad Blood, and then it got further and further in and I'm like, there's no way she's coming out, but not this point.

It was an amazing show.

I also, I took one prop bet during the prop bets or bets that are like about the stupid and stuff silly. Yeah, I took one prop bet and my prop bet was that the first song that Kendrick would sing would be Squabble Up.

And I was right. I called it.

I mean, that was so excited.

I mean, I well, yeah, I started dancing and singing Squabble Up and it was amazing. I mean, out of all like so unlikely, like it was just I mean one of the best moments of my life.

Was I wanted more. I wanted to see more of that on Sol in the Pan on TV. It was so fast.

I mean I've seen the clip over and over and I'm like, yeah, like we could barely say it because we're like so high up, so we wouldn't even even know it was her so far away, you know. But yeah, I would have liked it to be on her a little bit longer because I was like, oh, that was really interesting and.

Really she just looked cool. Yeah, I was like I.

Was into it where we were sitting in a box seat on like the not the far this up, but like like Taylor Swift's box was like above ours. So there's like two rows of boxes and hers and Trump's were like above ours.

We were on like the three hundred levels. She was in the four hundred.

Level and we were in a box with Bill Belichick and his his girlfriend Jordan, who I talked to for a really long time, and I really like, she's going to get me on a supplement. We were talking about supplements and how just aging and how I feel about this. She's gonna send me a list and then she said that in two weeks, my life is going to change. You should take She's going to send me a list of supplements that's all natural stuff because she's like really researched this stuff and she's yeah.

She was like, I'm gonna.

About those Chinese herbs. I haven't tried them yet, but I've ordered those Chinese tried them yet.

Forgot.

Yeah.

If that's the hard part about the supplements, it's like, you know they work. It takes I would say give it three weeks because it takes twenty one days for your blood to recycle, like recycle but the hard part is just being consistent with it.

The only consistent one I take is neutrafule. I like, I take it every day and if I skip a day, I think my hair is going to start falling out. So like if you if you make it about my like vanity, I'll do it every day no matter.

What, like a preview of supplements that she says you should take.

No, No, I'll let you guys know when I get it, because she's she's like, you know, a lot of judgment going on with that relationship, just I would if I was everyone. Yet it's fun to make fun because it's a huge age gap, and it's like it's obviously like ripe for just punchlines like why not even I've you know, been known to make them. And but I learned some stuff that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna shove my mouth and I'm going to not judge because I think it's

I saw her.

With him and I was like, oh my god, and what what are you talking about?

I haven't even talked about that yet.

Oh. Yeah, the NFL Honors was on Thursday. Then I flew to Pittsburgh on Friday. So NFL Honors was in New Orleans on Thursday. Yes, I got it on Wednesday Thursday, private jet, which you just have like a quick follow up, like how John Hamm and Shaboozy. It was John Hamm and Shaboozy baby, Like it was just what to do?

Did you choose to engage in social activities for the flight or did you do the ten minutes of talking and then everyone takes a nap question.

It was kind of that.

It was like twenty five minutes of talking and then like kind of like here and there, kind of in and out of talking, and like then like no sleeping because I just no one needs to see that. I would have had to get out my like disgusting pillow eyemask. So I kind of just like closed my eyes like I was one of those girls that could just like lean back, oh yeah, and like just like kind of look out the window and close my eyes with my mouth shut and it.

Would stay that way. So yeah, I just.

I just pretended maybe, and then I was just like too anxious about everything I had going on. And it was a really nice jet though I don't all honors really hooked up those who presented, and I was really just so appreciative that I got asked to do it because it was such a fun event, so that we Yeah, it was like nice small talk. John Hammon and his wife are so nice, chaboozy, and his team was these two guys that were with him were so nice. It was just like the nicest kind of people that you.

Could be around.

And John hamm and I and Chris are all from Saint Louis that we had that in common, and we talked about, you know, growing up in Saint Louis, and his wife is really smart, really cool, really interesting girl and had the best best fashion. Like I if she would have just been a stranger, I would have taken a picture of her outfit and said, Emily, let's source all of this and like, and by the way, she's

She was like, you should take a picture.

I was like, there's no way I was gonna sneak a picture of John Ham's wife.

Uh socks there, I know, lack of socks, and.

To prove that it looked cool, I couldn't.

I couldn't do it.

And her jewelry was cool, like I wanted to take a picture of her, the way she stacked her.

Rings and her bracelets.

Like.

She was just a very well put together person, as was John Ham. I was like cut every every little you know, he got cool.

His bag was cool.

Yeah, you got to be on the field and introduce the chiefs and he did a great job. And then Bradley Cooper introduced the Eagles, but John Hamm was They were both amazing at introducing and I couldn't.

Really tell because our screen had a delay, so like their voices was different than what they were saying.

Played well.

John Hamm was like, uh, like Fargo esque John ham where he and he had this like extreme aggressions. Yeah, Pierce nipples, big Schlang and the outdoor hot tub. John ham He brought him out in style. Bradley Cooper had his daughter with him, so he had to tone it down slightly, but he was also amazing that. That was a cool feature of the Super Bowl, which I don't recall seeing in.

The past, celebrities bringing out the.

Teams calling him out as they come out.

Of the Oh Samuel L. Jackson was a really.

Cool part of Oh Yeah, that was awesome.

Like narrating it, doing like the Greek chorus throughout it. I thought it was so cool.

Okay, so plane ride Land, go to hotel Chabboozy were like right next to his room, and it's it's weird because when you're I've been listening to this That's Tipsy song for really a couple of time. And so Chris and I are constantly just going like, oh my good lord, like we're just always singing it. And that's just like how Chris and I operate. We just like sing all

So I couldn't.

I was like, I'm not even gonna talk because every time I talk, I want to say, oh my good Lord, which is by the way, I did have the thought that if our plane crashes or something bad happens. I know that if there was like there's an engine failure and it was like we would just hear hear shaboozi go oh ma, and.

That would have been made. That would have made it worth it.

There was another plane crash in Alaska.

I know that's three.

The rule of three is that should be Okay, it's over.

Yeah, okay.

Can I just tell you what I've been doing for my own mind with the plane stuff that I think is really helpful, sure, and gives me a sense of control when there literally is none.

Okay.

So you guys know, I believe in like manifestation and visualization and all that stuff. So I think a lot of times on planes when I get in my head about like oh my god, it's going to crash, I like start picturing the crash.

I start like picturing.

Like all of a sudden a boom or like you know, a fucking helicopter chopping off half of the fuselage or whatever you whatever it is. I keep running like that moment through my mind, and I'm like, oh shit, Like when you visualize stuff, it like fucking happens, right, Like that's how that's how I manifest is like visualization. I think I've talked about this before, Like I just try to counteract that. So I just picture myself getting my

I just know it.

And I don't know if it'll help you if if you struggle out there with flying and being scared, but when you have one of those thoughts, just counteract it with the thought of, like, what's gonna look like when you land, when you walk past it Anti Ann's in

It honestly feels.

Like now, when I used to smoke weed before a flight sometimes to be like, oh, I'm just mean, I'm not doing anything for the next five hours, I should smoke weed. I would get I would have anxiety because I would start thinking about bad things, you know, in my mind would wonder it's like that, but I'm not high.

I'll go to that.

And so it's just that's been helping me a lot, and remembering that there's forty eight thousand flights a day and nothing happens.

Yeah, you would be in more danger if you did chose to drive.

To your Yeah, they don't report like all the car accidents that are happening at once.

No, they don't.

And I'm not about to go on a tour bus. I heard some people comedians like switched over from planes to buses because they're scared.

And then I have so much more anxiety on a tour bus. When I was on Bird's tour, are like, oh did I talk about this already?

Yeah?

Yeah, oh sorry, okay, never mind, I had no Yeah you also had that this weekend. Oh yeah, I did Bird's show.

So anyway, went to Pittsburgh so NFL Honors on Thursday. Yes, waiting for the car after the show, and it's like, you know, the valley, a valet kind of area, but it's like a big it means everyone that's in the show, all the athletes, which there is, it's so many athletes. I mean, Chris was like we were sitting right in front of Roger Goodell was sitting literally in the seat in front of us in this theater.

It was it was wild. Wow, he's on an athlete, butte was he one at some point?

He's a financial athlete.

That's a good point. So I just kept going, no turf, no durf. That was actually before I knew about that.

You got to be dreaming for that to work though, And so.

Uh, I was just hanging out by oh And during the NFL Honors, Snoop made a joke about Belichick's girlfriend and him, and so they cut to them and she looked so hot.

I loved her dress. I thought she looked at my god, and I really like her.

And people were saying there was like some backlash, which I don't really think there was. I think it was just like a fake headline where one person tweeted, this is inappropriate for this event, and so they made a headline out of it and said, like people are in an uproar about her outfit being too you know, inappropriate for this event, and it was so not inappropriate. If Jala wore everyone would be applauding her, like people just want to make her out to be just a six object.

That funny how that's what the media is now is they find one person's tweet and then they extrapolate that to the rest of the wa They.

Say people are in an uproar.

It's two tweets, and they can say, you know, NFL fans call for the you.

Know, foxnews dot com does that all the time. As you know, I have an accountant foxnews dot Com and I engage in the comments. But they they'll say that, they'll be like, people hated what Yeah, did I not say that to you?

That would be.

Insane to I couldn't even imagine what those that comments say.

It's truly the comment section is incredible, Like it really has become a more tolerant place over the last I mean, it's honestly like there has been a little bit a surprising amount of like self awareness in those comments. There's still like the usual I think like the most of the real extreme people are on x and like foxnews dot COM's comments section has a good mixture of opinions. Anyway, they'll do that all the time on foxnews dot Com.

One.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Please everyone be more savvy and know that when it says like people are upset about something, it's not based on literally anything.

It's hopeless. It's hopeless. We've talked about this with a fucking people are not if people were done.

That, No, we're we're I literally wrote on the Bethany Frankle thing. I said, I go, it was so grow. The Taylor Swift doing it was so gross, I said. And all of these comments. I love how hypocritical all these comments are. If any of you saw Taylor Swift on the street, you would scream, probably start crying, ask for a selfie. I said this, I go, America is cooked. I just learned that phrase, but I love it. And America is fully cooked. Yeah, and we're done. I'm only

No one want? This is a fun place anyways.

So so uh oh, so I'm sitting I'm standing by the waiting for the car.

And then so I had seen her on screen, and I really liked to.

Reaction to the joke Snoop Dogg Maine because she just like kind of like laugh and like just looked like classy and just handled it well. Wasn't like rolling your eyes or being like ah shocked. She just was like, ah, you know, really just classy stuff. And so she came up and I go, oh my god. She goes, hi, I just wanna say I love you or whatever, you know, something really nice. And I go, oh my god, I know you. She goes, you do and I go I think so. And she was like how and I'm like,

Looked like her.

And then I was like, wait, this bitch shouldn't be embarrassed that I think that she's her. But then Chris looked at me like I don't think you know who that is. And then she was like, yeah, well I'm just here with my boyfriend Bill. And I was like, wait that is you, and she goes, I go, you were on the screen tonight and she was like I was, and I was like yes, and you were so fun, like you laughed at it, and so then it was anyway, she was a fan. She was like, and by the way,

Like no, my boyfriend Bill Cower.

Yeah. Yeah.

And so I met her there and then when I found out she was gonna be in the box, I was like, oh great, like I have a rapport with her at least, And and then she came to the box and uh, I just was like hey Jordan, and then she just sat down and we talked for like probably forty minutes, had a really good time talking and like she had you know, she's someone that I will say,

How that's a very thing.

That thing happens to everyone, and then if you do say something about yourself, they kind of just like stare at you, and then you have no follow up and it'll make it about it, like what'd you say?

Or they'll make it about them.

Yes, And Okay, let's be honest, like there are a lot of people that are boring and maybe it would be hard to come up with things like I can always come up with something to ask someone about themselves, like, but I I know that I'm I'm you you should ask me some questions about Like, I've got a pretty

To work with, so you should ask me. Anyway.

She she had so many questions for me, but it was really like interesting stuff about how how I just handle being in this industry and how I cope with the judgment or like kind of you know, related to the stuff she struggles with, but in a different way.

And it got me really thinking about Mike.

She was like, you know athletes talk about She was like, athletes really focus on what's gonna happen after they kind of age out of the business, you know, like they have a deadline. Their bodies like fail them at some point, and like as a woman in entertainment, because we were talking about aging. She was like, there's kind of an expiration date. It's not like explicit, but things drop off. She was like, do you do your agents like talk to you about a plan for like when that happens.

To foresee the future.

It's because it's like this unspoken thing, like everyone likes to pretend it doesn't happen, right, like athletes, it's kind of like you. It's even with athletes, I feel like it's kind of you don't really want to talk about. It's such a sad thing that it eventually happens. But retirement is a thing that's talked about and like, what are you gonna do after you retire?

Because it's imminent.

But with with in as a woman in this industry where you turn fifty and everything dries up, including the roles for you and people wanting to see you on TV, everyone kind of acts like it doesn't happen. And so I say to her, I said to her, you know there, we don't really talk about it, but I'm aware of it and I'm working on. That's why I'm taking months off to get a facelift and do things that are like going to keep my career going as long as I can on television.

But I thought that was a really interesting point.

She was like, well, they should talk about that with you, and I'm like, I think I might be offended if they did, if they did bring it up, but also it is something that I'm planning for, And I just thought that was a that's an interesting thing because we do have a shelf life, and I think models also probably don't get their reps don't talk to them about it. Even though models it's a very it's almost like it's

Once you retire from comedy, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna become a commentator?

I'm gonna do commentary of yeah, of comedians specials.

I But I think it's because it's rude when women age. Talking about women aging is rude, whereas talking about a man aging is just a fact, and it doesn't because it doesn't diminish what you are.

It doesn't it doesn't mean that people. It doesn't.

You know, it definitely sucks, and you guys feel it and you become a little bit more invisible to the opposite sex.

But it doesn't. It's not mean to say a guy is aging. It's like not a rude thing to say to him.

Whereas a woman, it's like it's you would never ever.

You don't ask a woman her age.

You don't talk about like it's it's it's just unspoken. I think we just need to speak about it more, and I think it needs to be on women to also talk about it more too.

Sure, men definitely have a better deal when it comes to aging. There's that you remember the Bill burd joke where he's like men men aging. What once women get around children, bearing age then and start to surpass them in terms of how they age and how they're reacted to by society.

But then once they get.

Old, women just shoot above them, and men become these like they're like impossibly disgusting and they can't even think anymore, and women are like still playing cards and they're still with it. I don't think that's like the most I would still take the man aging route, I think, But exactly when you reach a certain age. It's like like my neighbor, my downstairs neighbor's in her nineties now, and she still drives and she still has taken her dog out for walks.

She's perfectly with it.

I just can't imagine even meeting a man who's in his nineties who could even walk.

Yeah, it does, it does you? Guys? Seemed to become a little bit more helpless.

Yeah.

I was getting a ride from the airport actually from a really really old man that you know was a sign to like pick me up. And I felt really bad for him because he was kind of like swerve like. It was like getting a drunk driver. Honestly, that's what That's what it was. But it was like one that I couldn't say, hey, this isn't okay, yeah, because it would have been agist.

Yes, so it was old and drunk this guy it could have been.

But yeah, I did get a joke out of it because his mouth was doing that like dry mouth thing.

It was just like it was, yeah, it was real.

Like every time, yeah, yeah, which is like an old man kind of thing. He's very sweet and I think I kind of at one point was like just get over, like cause it was like such bad traffic in New

Yeah, and that's when you go in.

Yeah, you gotta get in. You gotta assert yourself, you know.

But I felt bad.

I was like, that's gonna be carm I shouldn't like snap in an old man, and I wasn't. I wasn't rude, but I did like kind of get an urgency that I'm sure he didn't appreciate. But right then what a gift was given to me by his chappy mouth because it it ended up being a punchline later on, not about him, but I compared, you know, my vaginal dryness to like the sounds of his mouth and.

It gotta go laugh, so, you know, just to let you know, it might not be dry mouth. It also could be dentures. People make that same noise when they're because they're not their teeth.

Keep moving around.

It's like a nightmare and they have to keep especially when they first get them.

Okay, that's a good point.

I think it was that, Yeah, like you, when you don't have teeth, you your mouth has to constantly do that.

Yeah, you have to do that a lot.

I do know that, and I have empathy for it because I'll be there someday too. So I felt a little bit bad because I was like, I'm to be old and not want to not really know when to turn and not know how to turn on, like not know how to operate the van door. Like I can't get mad at this is just not fair because we're hopefully we'll all be there. I think there's gonna be

Not I'm not doing it.

I don't.

I don't want to live through it. It seems like so terrible.

It seems like and then once you get through it, your scarred for life.

No thank you, I'm out. And so then anyway back to the NFL host just all over the place.

But I will say that we have to go to break. Oh, so I'll tell you about the super Bowl. I mean, I guess I have the Bird Show to talk about and the super Bowl when we go back und So then I get back on I go to Pittsburgh. Amazing show. Shout out Pittsburgh.

I really liked your Instagram story when you were writing. It's like almost like ASMR in a way where you're writing, great show, Pittsburgh.

Thank you. I really liked it too, isn't it? Thank you?

I really I shot it like late at night when I got back to my room and I was like binging on skinny Pop and I was like, this is kind of a fun thing. I think I would watch that over and over because I love watching people write and I love the sound of it. And it was like a really good pen and I had a rite amount of pieces of paper underneath it, so it made

It's gonna look like shit.

So I have to go back and put in the T T SB.

You are like, yeah, your muscles atrophy. I think I relate to this so much.

I had to write a birthday card this weekend and I was just like, oh, my penmanship is disgusting. It's my y's and teas are like stuck together. It's just it's like guitar like if you set it down like you a gar.

Yeah, that's a hard you just like you think that writing is so ingrained in us, but it like really isn't, like I forget how to to do it? No, it isn't. Everything can be changed, you can, you can. Yeah, it's kind of nice that we're completely malleable. Yeah, there's nothing that's like stuck in us.

It's both the greatest strength and our greatest weakness. Mmmm. Yeah, I love that.

So yeah, I wrote thank you Pittsburgh on a pad of paper and then I put a posted on my story and I will do more of those because I enjoyed it too. Thank you for that feedback, Bran. But the show was amazing in Pittsburgh. It was who opened for you there?

Tommy Brennan. Oh, the guy that I talked about on the here.

Remember when I was like I saw this guy this morning on on Instagram reels and I like was so impressed by him.

Yeah, now I remember, But what was it? What did you post on reels?

It was a joke about Moses, I think in the Ten Commandments or something, and it was like like, oh, there was a joke about like it's like they shall not like covet thy neighbor's wife or whatever or covet. They like yeah, and he's like, that's that one sounds like pretty specific, like we we know what was going on in his Like the other ones are like thou sha't not kill, thou shall not lie.

That one's like really specific. And they're like, is someone banging your wife?

He's like no, No, are you sure you're your neighbor?

Is like it was something. It just was so good.

And and I just, you know, like you just get a sense about someone when you watch a clip of them that they're gonna be a certain way. Like I I think I have a I'm I have a sixth sense about when someone's gonna be my friend. Like I just I think I might not be the best at anything, but I'm pretty much the best at determining when someone's gonna be a friend of mine, almost like right away, like love at first sight kind of thing with friends. And I just was like, I think I want to

The Cellar a Ton.

He's from Minneapolis originally, then he went to Chicago. He's from a family of eight kids, Catholic family.

Really just kind, funny, nice.

Was so appreciative of like all the perks of working with me on the road, Like Emily was like, Tommy's so sweet.

He was like, I asked for his dinner order and he's like.

Man, usually I'm just like scrounging for snacks backstage, Like I get an actual meal that I get to choose what I want. And you know, I was like, what do you want from Starbucks? He's like, whoa really? And also like really just sweet sweet, And.

It reminds you too that stuff like that novelty, that reaction reminds you of how like, oh yeah, what I have is actually special and it.

Makes me feel good, Like I love like treating people kindly, but I love a good like I love like seeing that.

I never like am waiting for it, Like why isn't anyone thanking me?

Like I really don't search seek that out because I just know all the people that I surround myself with, our good people that are thankful. I've never felt taken advantage of. But it is nice to see that initial like, ohh, that's cool and like just just to sweek it. And like my cousin Maggie came backstage and he hung out and like with us with her like instantly just fit in the groove. Was really really nice and I just had had so much fun. A new friend in comedy

But her name is Casey.

I forget her last name, but she's really really funny and she writes. She's written for sl for like a few years now, so she's like a savant like comedian savant girl. And and yeah, he was just really nice and it was so much fun. And he said that a bestie's like have been coming to his shows and stuff and reaching out to him, so it was so nice that you all like.

Whoa someone that I like kind of gave some flowers too. It's so cool.

Oh the final thought, I wanted to share what a thing that I cannot believe This was insane to me.

This was like so exciting. I was on Reddit.

I follow the Reddit podcasts because I'm always looking for like new cool podcasts to listen to. Which, by the way, podcast recommendation that is not a comedy podcast. It's not going to take away traffic from ours. It is a podcast that has been talked about so much on The Girl's Chat Telepathy Tapes, or, as Sarah Lena calls it, telepathy tapes because it is hard to read that word.

And say it right. I will, I will test to it.

You want to say telepathy, Well, Telepathy Tapes is so good. It's about nonverbal autistic kids who can communicate, who are telepathic with their mothers often or with each other.

And you guys, it's fucking nuts.

And it's very well documented and it's like thousands of them, and it's like it's a real thing.

They have telepathy. There's like they do.

All these experiments, they like show you all the control settings for it so that you know they're not cheating. There's nothing like and these people, these these kids that don't speak and use like an iPad to talk. Can their mother is given a random word from a word generator and they fucking type it out and their mother's across the room thinking it numbers up to three digits, and they give them dozens of these and they get it right one hundred percent of the time.

Well it's they're counting. Never mind, and.

I'm only I'm only two episodes in and so I'm so excited to keep going on it. But telepathy tapes, Like I finally gave in because Anya was raving about it, and then Sara Lena was like, I can't sleep you guys, because I'm like scared that something like this exists, Like it's I'm alone in my house, and like, even though it's not a creepy podcast, like the fact that something is so out of this world and out of the physical realm that there's and scientists won't even like address this because they.

Can't have that with me. They can do sometimes, you know, do you don't need twins? Yeah, sometimes they experience this.

It explains why sometimes when you're thinking of someone, they'll call you. I mean, I think a lot of that's like a coincidence, But like I do think I know for sure now that there's something else going on. There is something that these kids are tapping into. There's a frequency out there, like a radio frequency that.

They are on that we are not.

Well, there's more, you know.

There's also a question if you listen.

Our senses are limited, and there's only we're only interpreting the data of what our limited senses can.

Oh yeah, so's they can't talk opens theirs up or something.

I don't know, Like colors don't exist there Just.

To explain the color red to a blind person, you can't. You don't even know what to say. You're like, well, it's like a rose, and you're like, well fuck, Like yeah, there's literally no.

Way to It's such an interesting thought experiment.

One thing that also makes me feel comfortable is that you can think the same way you think about colors, you can think about time. Time is doesn't exist, it doesn't simply that also money brains interpretation of vibration, so maybe it gives me Yeah, maybe everything is happening at once, oh, or.

It's happening in different That's what manifestation they think it is. It's like when you visualize something, you are tapping into the.

What's it called the universe.

There's like, you know, infinite different things happening one dimensions where you are living a life where that could have gone the other way right, And when you're manifesting, when you picture a dimension, you're tapping into that quantum realm and finding that dimension and making it happen in your life. So there is a DIMENSI where I'm dying in playing Cressa is a dimension where I'm landing safely in Saint Louis.

I've both a particle and a wave.

Yeah, but also Joe des Benza's book who that taught me all about that.

I found out he's a quack. So I don't know. I still believe a manifestation, but I don't know.

He turned to a docu manifested.

Yeah, he manifest it.

So anyway, I'm on the podcast subreddit and I see let me pull it up.

I was going to send it to you guys, podcast of telepathy tapes.

Yeah no, no, no, just it's called just podcasts one secon sorry, the main ones of it.

My uh.

Someone posted once again my Ford f one fifty big al cartoon on Reddit. It went viral, and of course whoa off my god. Yeah, and I'm not referenced in it at all, but it's nice to know at least that that's the second time it's gone viral on Reddit without me getting credited. But at least people think it's funny and while.

Looking that up.

So for Super Bowl, I didn't really do anything except Brian invited me to join his Super Bowl boxes, and.

I had no idea what that was.

Yeah, I was either I was like okay, fine, so I sent him like forty bucks and I ended up winning fifty bucks that's right. The coolest thing was that So I always knew that Brian was an animator, but I didn't know that you could draw your boxes.

Was so cool, like the.

Everybody a personalized little like logo essentially for their box.

Cool.

Noah was the.

Cactus Locha in Arizona.

Yeah, and I'm so much a yeah, prickly cactus filled with water.

Yeah.

I will say that it's not lost on me that I just complained about people not asking about other people and I haven't asked about your guys' weekends at all.

But it's just because this is the podcast, is what it is.

If this were a conversation, exactly, we just don't have enough time.

And I'm sorry.

I promise if Brian and me and Noah were at lunch, this would not be the conversation.

Well, let me say one thing, and that is box related. So huge success. The boxes were a huge success. It was the biggest pot I've ever done. It was twenty dollars a box, so it wound up being a two thousand dollars pot, which means the winner of the final will get one thousand dollars.

Whoa.

Noah won the five to five, which is when your box is five and five, which is the worst possible box you can get. So I give someone fifty dollars for you having basically no chance of winning at all.

Okay, but first.

Wait, so is that cheating? Did you put me there on purpose?

No? Numbers are selected randomly.

Oh okay, yeah? Do I feel good again?

Yeah? Wow.

So the prizes are awarded per quarter. First quarter is the least, the half is the second most, third quarter's third most, and then the big prize is the final. And the winner of the Final this year, winning a cool one thousand dollars.

Was Bill Dixon. Good b Yeah, Bill Dixon pulled it in what fuck?

Yeah?

I love that guy.

I actually met two people last night from Love is Blind and then they both were on the Bachelor, and they were like, Nikki, we know Bill Dixon, and I was like, oh my god, isn't he the best? And we just like sang Bill Dixon's praises, which Bill Dixon was a producer on Bachelor, and then he was a producer on f Boy Island.

He's one of my best friends.

He yeah, creator sorry, creator be F Whalen, but executive producer on Bachelor, and I originally met saw Bill because Hannah's season. She was getting out of a car and like tripped on the side and I saw a producer run out to help her, and I was like, oh my god, that like never happens. Producers are always just like pushing people down, you know, they're not like helping.

Guy is amazing. Who is this? I love seeing this.

You never see this, Like bravo to this producer for like being a real human. And then years later Bill was like, hey, you posted about me once.

I was like, I remember you.

Yeah.

And Bill also has a viral tweet that always gets recirculated.

That's when he was a waiter.

He rewaited on Ludacris, and Ludacris sent back some spring rolls and Bill went back to apologize for the spring rolls not being good, and he was like he just said, yeah, sometimes spring rolls are like that or something like that. And Bill said, and I think about it at least once a week. And Bill was the original person that did the joke that you see all the time on Instagram. That's like, and I thought about it every day ever since.

It's not funny. The first person who.

Said it was, but everyone else has not been. And so Bill Dickson was the first person to say. And I've thought about it every day ever since. Yeah, I know that that would blow my mind if I wasn't a comedian.

It would blow my mind that that.

Was a written thing that someone had to conceive of first, and that everyone else said no one ever, Yes, exactly, Like just look out for those things, like people that use those aren't funny. They're like copying people who are funny anyway. But you shouldn't get you shouldn't be mad at them because they're they're just not funny.

They're trying. They don't not.

That's like me going like womp or like something like doing a musical thing that someone's like, well, someone originally composed skilepsy dizzy dyslexed bits. Yeah.

So oh wait, by the way, can.

We just real quickly, like tell me your thoughts on the game, and like, what what a blowout? I mean I was, I was on a group chat with you, so I kind of saw your thought.

But yeah, well quick thoughts on the game is that it was really boring, just like I mean, no offense, but like every Chiefs game this year has been boring. They just slowly win games every time. And it was interesting because even in when they're losing in a blowout,

So I was wearing all Chief stuff, so people were looking at me like huh, sucks to be you, and I was like I don't really care.

To be honest with you, I don't care.

I just like I also am happy for the Eagles because I like that the owner donated to Kamala and uh and he did some other cool stuff that was like on the right side of things.

So I thought he was.

Cool and I like and I like Philadelphia a lot. I think it's like one of my favorite cities of all time. Yeah, not to you know, I don't know about Eagles fans or whatever people think about them, but so I didn't.

I didn't really care.

And I just look cute and red and I'm a swiftye like that's let's and I know Travis and I know Randy Mahomes, like it doesn't matter why it's cheer for whatever. But I will say that I felt bad for them in the last quarter when it was kind of like the game is over, Like how I know this happens all the time, but like I was looking at Chris, like why.

Don't we just like why don't they just say, you know, just take it, like you have to like keep trying.

It's like so embarrassing that you like, it's almost like when I'm bombing really bad on a set and you have to like do your time, and you're like, these people don't want it.

The people in the audience hate me.

They want to go home or you know, or wherever, go back to their hotel rooms because they're at a conference where they were like I was thrust on them because it's a corporate gig or and but I still have to do my time. And it's like, what can we just all agree that this isn't going well? But instead I have to keep trying. And do I keep trying? Like do I give it to my all? Will it change anything?

Like?

At what point was it like so far gone that there was no coming back? Like when would you say that was the point?

Oh? Halftime? I mean no team has ever run.

Oh my god, Really, I didn't the Patriots come back.

From like eight twenty twenty three point okay.

Yeah, twenty eight to three. There was twenty seven to three at halftime. It's so interesting because you know, people say that Mahomes is the greatest fall time and not Tom Brady, although the one time that they faced off in the Super Bowl or the one time they faced off in the Super Bowl, tom Brady won so head to head. But then also it's like Mahomes is down by twenty four points at halftime in the Super Bowl. No one's ever been able to come back from that

I was so happy for Tom Brady, you know, like I was sad for everyone, so sated with like the Mahomes family and like you know all the people that Chiefs fans, like you're sad for them, Like people who's happy depends on this it sucks. I was like Tom, tom Brady's happy right now, and I'm on board with that. Like Tom gets to keep the Goat title for now, like it doesn't it's it's it's.

Not going anywhere.

This was, you know, And I was like I was, I was dying to have been at home to hear his commentary because I bet his voice would have gotten like so much more chipper and like excited throughout, like towards the end, Like was there a noticeable like elation that you could sense in his voice?

Hard to tell, I mean, there's not a lot of range, but yeah, he he did. Tom Brady though, did reference the.

Roast, That's right.

In a commercial, in.

A commercial, a Dura cell commercial, very self deprecating where Tom Brady is. They made it seem like we were just cutting to them in the booth, so like it wasn't a commercial. And then Tom Brady like shuts down like he's a robot, and we're all like.

What the fuck, it's supposed to be the game. That's funny.

And then they come in and the duras celle experts like, we need to replay. Let me need to check his batteries. They open up his arm and he's got non Dura cell batteries and everyone's like, what the fuck? This is the super Bowl. They put Dura cel batteries into his arm.

That's funny.

He turns back on and then Kevin I forgot his last name. The other announcer says, Tom, are you okay? And Tom Brady goes, why has everyone been asking me that since the roast?

Ah?

That's great.

That's so funny. Good for him because he could have been like, no, we're cutting that yeah line, you know, like okay, so we have to go. You're gonna have to listen tomorrow's episode to find out what I saw on the subreddit podcast that is very interesting to me, but I know you'll be there tomorrow. On you guys always are. Thank you for listening today. We'll see you tomorrow.

Don't be cood bye.

The Nicky Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel