The Nicky Glizer podcasts.
Than here's Nicky Glue here.
I am welcome to the show. It's the Nicky Glazer podcast here with uh Noah and Brian. Hello in Saint Louis.
We're all remote. Happy New Year, good happy news.
You know, we didn't get to say that because so many things happened at the beginning of the year. They were vulnerable and good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think that Happy New Year to a single person. I don't think I said it to you on New Year's Eve.
That's crazy. I don't think we did. Now, how did you guys ring in the New Year?
Like?
We were out doing sets that night, but then we called we were done by like I think ten forty five, and then we went home the last that was at the Comedy Store, and then Chris and I just went home and watched Anderson Cooper and yes, Andy Cohen getting drunk in Times Square.
That's the best way to do it. I think that's the best of all those shows.
And we looked out the window and saw some fireworks and I was just like, I thought, hate fireworks. I think they should be banned. They're so disruptive to the world. Everyone's stressed out by them. They remind you of They either sound like gunshots or bombs yea.
Also fire.
I mean this was before we were terrified of fire, I guess, but should have still been terrified of fire. And also they are just bad for animals. They just animals know that it's the New year, celebration of the New Year, or fourth of July. They're not animals are not festive. It's one of the worst things about animals.
And but the other.
Worst thing is that they're too stupid to know what's happening. And they just are horrified. Whatever your dog does is what a squirrel is doing. And they abandon their babies, and their babies starved to death, like it's it's terrible. You guys just stop at the fireworks.
Just just can't.
Can't you just hoot and holler? Why do we need fireworks them?
The replacement for fireworks is thrones. Yeah and yeah, now the fireworks are horrible, Like nobody the birds obviously don't know that it's July fourth. Most of them are from Mexico that are around here anyway, so they're not even patriotic, and it's raised them all away and it's horrible.
We have immigrant birds.
All of our birds are pretty build.
That wall higher. They're definitely just flying over the border.
Yeah, it's just I hate fireworks and it sucks because Chris loves them so much and he's so patriotic, and it's like a part of it's not even a part of like his patriotism, but it is. He loves them, and I think it's one thing that will destroy us ultimately. It's like it's worse than like if he wanted babies or something, and I don't like it's this will divide us for forever because it's his favorite holiday, I think, And I all I can think about is just animals being scared and al's being like.
Whoo and like turning their heads all the way.
Around, being like where's that coming from, and then abandoning their babies another baby starve.
It's the worst.
Chris has always said to me ever since I've known him that he just wants to settle down with a nice women and light some fireworks together, raise fireworks. I guess.
I just I've always hated them. Even as a kid, I was totally scared of them. I always felt it was the I was embarrassed at how scared.
I was of them.
I just don't like loud sounds out of nowhere. I hate balloons. I don't like when kids are playing with balloons because I feel like they're gonna pop at any second. I don't like a balloon just like kind of trapesing across the ground, like I just feel like it's gonna hit something. It's gonna pop, and then I'm gonna be scared.
I just don't like this scare. It's a jump stack. I don't scare happen.
I don't like jump scares. Yeah, I hate balloons. I love helium. I think that's a really fun part of balloons. Yeah, I just don't like any I don't like loud noises.
I had pilates today and I really like this girl who's the instructor, but she it was very loud and I was plugging my ears as I was like doing a uh lunge on this like equipment, and I was I was hoping that might like catch on, like it's too loud, But then I was like, no, I don't need to be passive aggressive, and I just got off the thing and I ran and got some tissue paper and I just stuck that in my ear, So I've never kind of passive aggressiveness that is, like solving my
problem and not making it her problem.
She still might have seen that and taken it as a passive aggressive.
That's what I'm saying.
It was like, but at least I was doing a thing for myself that was like sustainable and not plugging my ears. And then after the class, she was passing out the things to wipe down your thing, and she very discreetly was like, you were amazing on the Golden globes.
You blew my mind so nice.
And I was like, you can scream all you want for the rest of your life.
You can get away with anything now, because.
She was passing things to wipe down the machines, and You're like, I don't need any I have it in my ears, and then.
I can just use this.
They sometimes they give me double because I sweat so much, but I, yeah, I'm back at it.
That feels really good.
Can I go back to the fireworks just for a second, because there's.
This go back forever?
Fireworks are also dangerous for the people lighting the fireworks. There's this famous incident from a football player a New York Giant Jason Pierre Paul, who's going to be a Hall of Famer. He keeps playing JPP, they called, and he's an incredible defensive lineman with a ton of sacks. But one year when he was on the Giants over the summer, he blew off two of his fingers. He still plays, Yeah, he played for like ten years after. I think he still plays.
Wow.
And then everyone made fun of him for having blown off his fingers.
I always love that.
Meme that's like July third, It's like this is the last day for so many Americans to have all their ten fingers.
It's like a meme that goes around. It's like, oh, that's so true.
Yeah. I think they're extremely dangerous. I don't like when they shoot every different way. I like sparklers. They're tame, they're quiet, they're gentle.
When I was in high school, they smell good. There was a couple of times, or maybe it was middle school, where one of my friends got a load of fireworks and then we would go into his backyard. We'd launch them at each other, of course, you guys, yeah, which was like I can't believe I didn't. I don't care.
No, most of them don't like, I'm not even joking, Like, how how do you all not run into traffic? How do you all not get severe concussions every day? How are you not just constantly? I just it's amazing that you survived.
Yeah, I don't know. I've been thrown through doors, thrown through a glass showcase, I've been body slammed through a table. I took somebody. I did a Mortal Kombat move to one of my friends in elementary school, and I broke his teeth off. Oh my god, I got I punched two people in the face by accident. I closed one some kid and went flying in the.
Air like A punched two kids by accident.
One of them was we were playing we were in elementary school. I think it might have been even sixth grade, and when we were playing the punching game where we'd punch each other and like at first it was just like, oh, I punched you in the leg, Now you punched me in the arm. And that was the game, and then we were it was after music class we put our recorders away and I was sitting there and I was like, oh yeah, I was like, I've got a good move
to do. And I was like I'm going to go to punch him in the face and then the last second go down and hit him in the stomach, you know, because like a fake app and then I just punched him in the face. I like forgot to go down.
Oh yeah, yeah, okay, I guess that's accidental, but not really.
I don't know what. I had no control, but yeah, lots of that.
It's so much of that. But what did you What did you do anything New Year's Eve? Did you weren't with that? Ali wasn't in town, so you didn't.
Yeah, I just went home. I don't even know. If I noted that it was midnight, I might have even when this, when the clock struck midnight, I might have said to myself, Hey, you know, and that's it. Look at that and that was my New Year's if year com fine with by the way.
But I don't even know. I just what did you know? What were you awake?
Yes?
I was awake. I actually watched a magic show on New Year's Eve? Like now I'm or like in person? Oh live in person?
WHOA?
So we had we had a party. I was in Utah and my sister hired a magician who came in.
What for, like how many people?
I would say maybe like fifteen people. That's cool half but like most Sorry.
What that's sharp. It's just a magician. I'm just randomly.
I just don't remember the guy's name. Oh that sucks. That's just so, that's like how comedy whatever. People go, I went to a comedy show and I go and they were great, and I go, who was it?
They go, I don't know, And I'm like.
Oh no, no, I hadn't remember, but I was sold on it. I'm like into magic now. I believe because no thing to believe in.
All you believe in is a talent, right well.
I believe in the talent being some kind of like weird force of nature.
No that the force of nature is physics and all the rules apply. They're not just doing anything else. But it is cool magic.
And the room was set up in the way where he was standing in front of a glass door, so I could kind of see what he would like from behind him, what he was doing, like through the reflection exactly. So I was like, oh, I'm totally going to see him putting stuff now anything I couldn't see anything, I can't do.
I I don't like it. Because I want to just know.
That's why I used to love that Pen and Teller show that would they would try to guess what the trick was and it was called like stump us or something, and they they would have magicians come in and perform for them, and they would figure they would like, tell the magician, is this how you do it? I don't even think they like said it too like out loud, but they were like, we're gonna whisper in your ear, like is this how you do it? And if it is, you have to like admit it. And then if you
stump us, like you win a bunch of money. Yeah, because they've seen every magic trick in the.
Book, they don't how it was done to the general public though they I don't think so.
I think that's like against the rule book.
There was a show back in maybe Rus development.
That's how I know, Maian, Well, there.
Was a show, a special show twenty years ago, you.
Know, yes, where the guy wore a mask everything.
Yeah, and there was a huge blowback in the magic community about it.
I was probably inspired arrest of development was that guy?
Yeah, Yeah, probably Joe.
On the show as a magician and he's in the Magician's alliance and he he's getting kicked out of it, and like ed he, yeah, it's but they talk a lot about about revealing things and how you can't and yeah, that guy, that guy.
He was excommunicated from the Magician's ALIGNE.
How they know who it was, but they probably magicians probably.
Know the figure. They knew this guy was. But the thing that magic. The mass magician was saying, listen, all of these tricks have been around for twenty to thirty years. I'm only showing you how these tricks are done because I think it's time for magic as an art for to move forward and move beyond these old saw an a woman in half tricks. Right, It's time for new stuff. We need an evolution, otherwise magic will die out. That was his In reality, he's just getting paid buttloads of money by Fox.
Oh Man.
David Blaine changed my life when I discovered him.
My freshman year of high school.
That's that show that aired on like it was like ABC, I think. And he was levitating and he was sticking things in his hand, and he was taking a chicken's head off and then they put the chicken's head back on.
Yeah, and uh, I convinced my.
Geometry teacher, mister Booth to clear a class so that we could we could show it, and I because my dad taped it, and I was like, mister Booth, I have a show that you're gonna be obsessed with because he you know, it's like magician Marie is like math. And he let me take over the class and show this video and it blew everyone's minds. I mean, David Blaine when he first showed up on the scene was insane. Yeah, and he still is. I like love watching any kind
of celebrity. He's he's impressing, but sometimes it just gets too gross, Like I don't want to see needles going into flesh and I don't want to see a frog being eaten.
I just.
Yeah, that's a really good teacher. I mean he was awesome. You were passionate about something and then he lets you Booth express.
That shout out before Yeah, what was that? You've brought mister Booth up before him?
I love mister Booth. There's some hit When teachers are good, man, it sticks with you. I saw someone recently who went to Kirkwoo High schol Oh when I was in Hawaii. This guy came up to me and was like, he was eating dinner next to us, and we kept hearing their tables say Saint Louis, so we'd be like, what. And then he came up at the end of the meal and was like, I'm sorry, I don't.
Even normally do this, but I was.
I just discovered you, like I knew about you, but I saw the Golden Globes and I went on a deep dive about you. And I was reading your Wikipedia last night in bed with my boyfriend, and.
I guessed because I went to Kirkwood High School too. Who I was like, oh my god. And then I was like, what teachers did you When did you graduate?
He graduated in like two thousand and I think like eleven or fifteen, and I graduated in two thousand and two.
So I was like, oh, this is gonna be rough.
But I knew one teacher, Madame Calfus.
Madam about her. We've talked about her best.
She's the greatest woman alive. I love her so much. And she recently wrote to me because I had posted about how being vegetarian isn't enough, like the egg industry is disgusting, dairy industry is disgusting and like it's just it's a nice step, but it's not. It's I wish it were enough to is what I said. And she wrote to my Instagram story and said, your sister taught me this. I was a vegetarian for twenty years and I had no idea what was going on in those
other industries. And your sister, who my sister is a Spanish, was a Spanish teacher at Kirkwand High School. Madame Calfuss was working with her then, even though I had her, She's been there for like thirty years. She said, my sister enlightened her and she's been vegan ever since. And I was so proud of my sister. I'm so proud of my sister. My sister is not a teacher anymore
at Kirkwand High School. She abandoned her career because she just wanted to try something new at the age of thirty nine, and she is now working at a I'm not going to say the name of it, but like for people who want to redecorate their bathrooms, she's like helping them design and decorate their bathrooms, which is like she's so excited about it because she's like it's a thing that people are so excited about doing, like when you get a new because she works at like a
nice place, right, so these people are getting like heated floors and like a big tub and a cow rack that heats the towels, and like really like a nice basin and like a nice toilet that raises when you walk in, like and so she's like helping people do something they're so excited about, you know, which is like it's a good point, and I'm so excited for her.
And she just started this new job and that's amazing.
Thirty nine to switch careers is like really difficult to do, and yeah, be pulling it off and be happy. That's a that's an incredible inspiring story.
It took a while, though, I will say that she you know, she stopped teaching this past year.
In May was her last month.
And then she was looking all summer, looking all fall like trying hard and like managing being a mom for three kids and feeling like this is all I do now is these kids. And she was you know, did a bunch of things around the house and she just learned that she was like I think I like interior design, Like I think that's interesting to me. And she never really even thought of exploring it before. But then she was just like what could I do in this space?
And she met with Chris's mom, who's an interior decorator, and she got really like a lot of help from her, Like she just asked around, like she just did it the right way. Yeah, And she's so bold to like take that risk. And you know, she went to school for teaching. She got so many degree she as a master's, she has, you know, like she put a lot into teaching.
And to just say, you know what, maybe I didn't pick the right.
Thing for myself. Now maybe that was right for me then, and I it wasn't a waste. I taught for ten years and you know, I'm ready to like I just I know that not everyone has the opportunity to do that, but I'm really it was inspiring to me.
I highly recommend for any anybody if they say it's never too late. It is too late for some things, like you can't be like a professional basketball player, you can't even do I would even say, like you probably shouldn't even do comedy if you're like if you're like forty and you're like, let me try comedy, Like, I think it's probably too late. Everyone always says like it's.
Gonna take years. Maybe you could be sixty. Yeah, it's gonna take twenty.
It'll take ten years to find your voice, So by fifty you could.
And you know.
What, give me an example of any forty year old.
Well, I don't think people do it, yeah, because there's no examples.
I don't think it's possible.
Honestly, I would think you.
I don't think it's I really don't think it's possible if you have kids and you want to be a good parent and you want to be around. I truly don't think it's possible. I don't think I would be able to be this successful with kids.
I just don't.
And I don't think it's possible if you're not obsessed with it. Yeah, you just have to put in so many fucking hours. But if you are someone who has kids that are like grown, I could see committing enough time to it and becoming obsessed with it and getting good enough that then you are an old comedian who's like fresh on the scene, Like that's a thing that people are interested in. If someone's like really good at comedy and old you know, and like has a fresh.
Every time I see someone who's like starting off comedy and they're like, you know, fifty five or sixty or something. Yeah, their comedy styling is always like borsch Belts, like if it's always back when before they had kids.
What they remember is example of someone.
Miss Pat is someone who got like I don't even know how old she is because she looks ageless, but I'm guessing she's she looks in her thirties, and I'm serious about that, but I'm guessing she's in her mid to late fifties.
I have her how old it's public information at fifty two.
Oh shit, sorry, miss Pat, but you look in your thirties. I was just like adding up because I just I thought your story was that you were older.
But she looks amazing. She is amazing. But she got her start kind of late, I think.
Yeah, and she was she got shot sure tit got shot off. She was like, she hasn't a crazy life. She was she had so many kids at a really young age. She was on welfare. She was working at McDonald's. Jimmy Carter came in. She had a great story she told on Kimmel. But she lived like a thousand lives and then started comedy. And she only started comedy because of her I think her welfare person, the person who she like checked in with or whatever, said you're so funny.
Yeah.
Her caseworker said you should try comedy, and then she did. Yeah, and then she was great at it. Okay, So here she's she is a fresh perspective.
She was She started comedy in two thousand and two, so she was thirty when she started, which I think that's probably the I can't imagine being fifty five or or fifty and starting and then actually like just being willing to go to open mics and then like kiss asked you a bunch of twenty year olds to try to get on a comedy show.
Honestly, think you have a better chance of becoming super famous as a woman in her that or man in your fifties starting comedy and throwing yourself into it as fully as you would have got your in your twenties than you do in your twenties. Because there are so many people in the twenties. It's a way to stand you stand out out.
Okay, Jason Ellis started.
I think, but no, I disagree because it's been a long time. It's been a long time, Nikki since you've been to open mics. And I will say, you go to open mics, especially in LA, there are fifty year olds there. There are people.
All they have like a vibe of, like we know, the vibe that they're bringing in. They're not bringing in a vibe of like dedicated, being obsessed with it. They're giving a vibe of like they like they just need a place to hang out.
Well, no, they're all No, I totally agree with that. Now they are not all. There's a bunch I've seen that are like they have like a baby reindeer style of comedy that they're trying to push on the open mic people.
Yeah, we have to go to break That is such a good point. But I do think it's never too late for comedy. And I think that if you if you just got to put in the work, maybe give ten years.
I just don't want you to start because there's threat to you.
You're there's no threat.
To you, because they would be than you if they started. How old are you, Brian, Okay, start.
To stop.
I know I know that feeling, I know that feeling, but it's it's an illusion. No it's not.
There's not a room for all of us. Okay, we'll be right back. Okay.
So we wanted to talk about a thing that's been happening since the Globes and then since the fires after the Globes, is that during the Golden Globes, during what we called a halftime show, a halftime report, I did this thing from the floor where I was like amongst the celebrities and I was talking about, you know, the stats of the show. And it started out in the writer's room as like we were going to do like an official kind of you know football kind of NFL you know, halftime report.
It also came from like from the from day one, we were saying, we want to do like TNF style jokes football, Yeah, there's any football styles jokes about what just happened, and that that kind of so good.
At writing jokes hours before, like about the thing that you just watched.
Right, So we were like, oh, we can easily do this.
Let's like take the first half of the show and let's write a bunch of jokes about things that happened.
Like there's nothing more fun. And that's why people are live tweeting.
They want to see jokes about what they're watching, and then award shows get away from that because they stick to the script and it's like, let's leave this part in the show that is just for for We'll have a selective group of people in the in the room watching the feed and just writing this halftime report that that I will then be able to go over with them because I have a lot of time in between when I have to go out, that we can go over and make a half thing.
Less time than we thought because you did an incredible which elevated the show ten costume change. I don't think we talked about that how much that how much that elevated the show for you to do ten wardrobe changes during the course of the show.
People did very much like it.
Yeah. No, it made it like, oh, this is a thing.
Which she's gonna be in next.
It's something for other people. It's like, maybe not for me because I'm not a fashioned person, but there are people watching this who are interested in that.
And people loved it.
Yeah, I mean that was an increase. I don't know whose idea that was, it was your idea or someone else's, but to do that many wardrobe changes was a great idea.
Well, I think it just goes with if we just found out how many times I was potentially gonna be in the show, and we were like, Okay, let's just do a different look for each one, because why wouldn't we like.
Every But I don't think did Tina and Amy do that? Did Seth Meyers do it? Definitely not.
I don't think men do it. I don't think anyone cares.
But I think, yeah, it was really it was really fun and it made it fun for me, and it is. It's nice to give the audience something new to look at, you know, like they've jokes, no matter how good the jokes are. It's like, I do care about what I wear because I do think talking is boring no matter what you're doing. If I were singing and dancing, I
could maybe stay in an outfit the whole time. But even that, like you watched Taylor Swift, you watch Beyond say they're making outfit changes throughout the whole show because not because they want to show you different looks, yes, but because there it's part of keeping people's focus and entertaining people like you. Don't you think that sometimes outfit changes or changing up your glam is just some kind of like vapid thing, like I just want to look
hot in different ways. It's like, no, you want to keep people interested. Newness is part of the performance, and I do think it matters what you wear on stage, and I do take care in that because I do think watching, especially in my stand up, watching someone talk on stage for an hour is can get boring.
Yeah, no matter what.
There's valleys, you know, for peaks to happen, their valleys, and during those valleys, just take a look.
At my legs. I don't give a shit.
Take a look at my shoes, look at my Bunion's like, I'll give you some things to look at.
See if can see my skirt, I don't know. Just have some fun. Maybe you'll catch a nip slip. Maybe you'll see my underwear line.
I don't.
It's just like give them something else. Anyway, that was a really fun thing. But during this halftime show.
I actually have it queued up. I can play it on.
The Okay, Yeah, here is what I said.
It's the moment. This is not the whole halftime yes.
Part of this part of it.
Past and crew are leading the way with eleven mentions and this is like breaking down the thank you thing strong with three shout outs God, creator of the universe, zero mentions, and Mario Lopez, host of Access Hollywood won all right, no surprise in this godless town.
So that's the that's the moment in question, and by the way, it absolutely crushed. I mean, was so funny.
So fun like there are moments in comedy where you like have said things like we I probably rehearsed that three times.
I probably said that.
We didn't even know the numbers. We didn't know that Kieran Colkin was gonna mention Mario Lopez until he did.
So we were we were waiting for like something funny to put in that fourth category.
We knew God.
We were hoping God maybe had zero mentions. That's what we like had predicted and it true.
And we were just so you that that night it wasn't like well planned.
That was like a couple days before.
Was part of the part of this breakdown would be we fill in the stats there of like thank yous, right, and so we predicted there'd be agents and reps, and then we predicted there'd be like a wife section and then but in uh moms or whatever, and then we
predicted God's with zero. That was just like a placeholder for like, this could be funny because we actually pitched it to do with someone at first where I would be joined by someone else, so we had to we had to write out a script predicting what would how funny it could be to present to the person to sign on to do it with me, and they ended
up signing on. But then we changed kind of the format of it, and we were like, we don't we were gonna make it very sports centery with graphics and me holding a mic with a little you know, the label on it, and potentially some sports people involved, and then we just kind of made it like we don't need to do all that, like it'll that'll be already implied.
We did it would talk perfect. Yeah.
That was one of I think a hundred different literal game time decisions that we made correctly. I mean, there were so many things, so many that were like A or B, choice A or choice B, and we just nailed it every single time. And looking back, it's just like the roast. There were some choices that if we went in the opposite direction, that would have tanked the whole thing. Yeah, there's one in particular I'm thinking about during the halftime show that's like if we did that, oh.
No, that would have been bad.
Yeah, and you know who said, let's like who was just not feeling that was Chris Convey was like, I just think it's about and then it just takes one person to go I don't know. And then I see that and I go, wait, do you not know?
Does anyone else not know about this?
And then someone else goes, I don't know either, and then we all suddenly realize, oh, we all are kind of like not on board with us as much as we thought, because yeah, it also can go in the other direction that way of like do you like that? Like popular was a perfect example of that, being like does everyone can everyone want to.
Admit that we love this?
And we were like yeah, and we were like kind of embarrassed too, because everyone's like at first, like, uh, I think it's fun, you know, but yeah, we made a decision not to make it all blow it out like very sportsy and not brand it so much and just like have me talking in that kind of cadence was kind of the decision I made.
We need to learn that lesson by the way, let's we should flag that because this is the second time it happened on the Roast, and it happened on the Golden Globes where we were going to do this thing where we're like targeting somebody and it was like just kind of like mean, and we cut it at the last second and we didn't regret it. So next time we should just know, Yeah, maybe not targeting someone and hitting them hard for no reason is not the way to go.
No, it's not.
And it was it even though the person we were going to target I love so much and I knew that it was gonna it was going to come from a place of love of like it it tonally could have been misconstrued and it would have. It was I'm so glad we didn't do that.
Yeah, so glad.
And there was another moment too where we were going to like say kind of a roast type joke at someone that I interacted with, and I cut that joke last second. And then let's not even talk about the rock joke, Like, I'm so excited we didn't do rock too, Like not the rock, but the joke that had the word rock in it. Yeah, there were so many like
we just made we made very good choices. My only regret is not saying wicked table, you're gonna love this before popular only regret and I wish we wouldn't have had the spotlight. I wish it would have just left it on the normal, Like I don't think we needed that to make it seem like it was like this moment, but I don't think it hurt it. But I don't think it needed it. Those and then I have a couple more. I mean I could go on it.
All the time.
So anyway, this so that part of the show people have been I first saw it. Oh, Mike Lawrence was the first person to write on I think Tuesday when the fire started, like, maybe you guys should have thanked God more.
Mike Lawrence, one of our writers, like was like.
Oh, as we pointed out on the show, maybe if you would have thanked more, this wouldn't be happening. He was obviously joking, and I don't think anyone saw that and then extrapolated from it. I think it was just you know, uh, he was parallel thought with some crazy people. So then there's been all these evangelical people we.
Don't know evangelical Catholic.
It's not no Catholics love me.
Catholics wrote about me and their news letter in the number in the number one Catholic newsletter Serious Magazine, they wrote about how Nikki Glazer called out godless Hollywood. Yeah, oh, by the way, got that part where it was like no surprise in this godless town that was in the script and then got taken out, and I put it back in because I and you could hear me kind of like wait, and then I just pulled it out of my brain to say it, even though I didn't
write it initially. It was just an earlier script and got taken out of the prompter. But I'm glad I said it because it just made me laugh and I liked say godless town.
I like the like cadence of it. And it ended up being.
A really famous person's favorite favorite You know, that day that I was on the podcast and I got a text from a really famous person. Yeah, that person, the most famous person I know, was like I loved this one joke and that was that person's favorite joke.
And I and if no one.
Else liked that joke, it was like worth it to tell it because that person loved it. But anyway, people have been making these videos saying that, like I I am responsible for the fires, and they don't even understand that I was calling out people not thanking God, and by the way, I was doing it sarcastically, which they don't even catch. They're just taking it the wrong way, thinking that I'm saying, don't thank God. That's good to not thank God, even though my.
Characters like the Crow, God Joke and the entire ever bettered in Hollywood in the last thirty years, where we said no one thanked God.
What the fuck's wrong with you? Yes, is what we've said. That's what we're blaming me. But I'm like, no, I was pointing out the right thing.
Saying, now you're a responsible And some of the comments are so mean. They're like every tear shed because of the fires is Nicki Glazer's fault. They're saying like, I hope you suffer, I hope your career, I hope you die.
Like I haven't read any of this, but honestly, these don't hurt my feelings at all.
They're from batshit crazy people.
And what's interesting is that I'd say, out of every single comment I've read, except maybe one because I'm like, I'm engaged and I'm kind of engaging with them on the instagram on Niki Glazer Pod Instagram because oh god, you all they made like a we we posted a clip of something that's not even this clip.
Stupid, it's not even you like these people? What's wrong with them? Do they not understand comedy?
What?
Like?
Okay, tell me what you're doing.
It's not even this clip. We posted a clip about what do we post Noah this week on the Nicki Glazer Pod Instagram.
It was it was about the making of popular.
It was about the making of popular. It wasn't even about the godless town. And yet there's all these people who are commenting on it, flocking from these areas. And what's interesting is like, except for one person, I think ninety nine percent of the people are not from America. They're from South America, like Brazil, Ecuador, or they're from
Southeast Asia. So yes, there must have been some influencer on TikTok that's from a foreign country who was ground zero for this conspiracy theory and who spread it and then sent all of their followers to go attack us.
And I'm getting emails and my email is not even out there, like as these people are just taking a wild stab in the dark what my email might be, yeah, and finding ways to say it's all your fault. And then Sara Lena on The Girls Chat Today sent a link that said, my mom is really excited because you are going viral in the Philippines and she didn't realize she was sending me like a thing that was like this woman should burn in hell, right because it's all
in like Filipino. Is that is that the language? Uh?
Filipino? I think that's what they that's direct.
Yes they are, but I don't think that's the language. I think it's like something. I don't I'm sorry, I don't know what it is. I'm glad I don't because I don't want to hear things about me. No, it's uh, it's it makes me really happy.
I love.
Okay, great, you're correct, Thanks, Okay, good, I'm thank God.
Yeah it's but I thank God.
Yeah, thanking God. By the way, I do believe in a higher power. I don't do God, but I'm not a godless person and I would never thank God in a speech though, because I think that's insane to think that they would have any say in me winning a Golden Globe.
It just doesn't seem right.
I forgot who there was a comedian or somebody who posted this who said, like the audacity of people to right. Yeah, you know what it is. I don't remember it exactly.
I think I told it on the podcast, but it's Ricky Gervay is telling when people pray to God for their keys, the the arrogance that God would help you find your keys when he didn't.
Stop the Holocaust.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like it's just it's perfect.
And by the way, where were these people when Ricky Gervais was hosting the Golden Globes, a man whose entire career is based on mocking God openly?
How come?
How come God didn't light La on fire? And Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes and all and out of all of the godless things that happened in Los Angeles, all of the crimes and sins, do you think it was a joke that was told in the Golden Globes that made him decide to set it on fire? Right?
And like if I like, for all the people who are super stuff, sorry, like what is God evil? Like, why would God do that? That's not like the purpose of God. He doesn't like God?
Who are are?
Well, that's that's some jew shit and these people.
Because why wasn't I struck down that night?
Well?
Yeah, I mean George Carlin did that in one of his stand up specials. He said, if God exists, may him, may he strike me down right now? And he said that on a stage. And God didn't do it. It took thirty five years, took him. Yeah, it took him longer. Yeah, Because here's the thing I believe is that I believe in God. I fear God. I don't think God cares like about these things. I don't think I think he's
got bigger problems. If it's truly the creator of the universe, Earth isn't even probably on his top ten of planets. So the narcissism to think that the one creator of the universe is like focused on a joke set at the Golden globes and will destroy the lives of millions because of that joke is egotistical to the max.
I'm so happy that this doesn't bother me at all. If anything, it makes me very proud because my dad, like is such an atheist that he like, there's no there would be no better flight achievement for me than to pick like to piss off all these like really these zelots, you know, these insane people, and so it makes there's something in me that feels good about that,
and there's no part of me that's like it. Honestly, I wouldn't care if I came across like people calling me a bad person because you know, I upset God because I just don't believe that's true. But then it's it only hurts me when people say something that I believe is true about myself, Like that's really the only time that I feel But I will say there was a thing that I'm trying. Okay, So I'm I got. I bought this book called Let Them by Mel Robbins that I saw Oprah say was like a book that
changed her life, and I've gotten. You know, I think two of the girls shack girls on it, Laura and uh Sarah Lena and yes, Laura, I just said your name the way it's sounds like it's supposed to be for not Lara, even though it Laura.
Uh, Hella, Hella's reading it.
And Sara Lena and it's just about you know, when someone's mad at you, when you know person in front of you is driving too slow, when someone's being irrational, if your boss is blaming you for something, you just let them and then you seriously, when you let them about something, it gives you a superiority that is not what you should stay in, but it gets you out
of that feeling of like, uh. But because you sometimes need a feeling of superiority just to get out of a feeling of shame, right, so it lifts you up suddenly to be like, let them, I don't care, I'm unbothered. I'm better than all of it. And then you do the next thing, which is let me. And that's where you go back down. You take that superiority and you get back down to right sized where you go, what can I do?
So, Okay, you know so and so is mad at me.
Let them be mad, and then let me understand that, you know, maybe I have something to do with the fact that they're mad. How can I be a better person? Let me focus on things that actually matter, like what you can do. So anyway, it's really helped me. It's helped Saralina said. It's helped her. But I was talking to my therapist yesterday.
About how.
I am doing a lot better with people being like mad at me or not liking me and it not affecting me, And because there was a certain person that got really really upset with me recently and really let me have it, and they were really actually very right to be mad at me, and I felt like at my first instinct was like, oh shit, I really shouldn't have done that thing that made them mad, and like why did I do that? And all the things that you go through when someone's mad at you and you
actually feel shame about it. And I was headed to Hawaii when this is going down, and I'm getting these texts that are very angry from this person, and I could see in Chris's.
Eyes him being like, oh no, our trip is ruined.
Like NICKI can't handle someone being mad at her and she's not being able to fix this. This person is not accepting her apology. It's just it's never they're never going to This person is like done with Nicki and is like truly telling her like, don't ever talk.
To me again.
And I could see Chris kind of like panigan, and even I was like, oh fuck, this is about to ruin my trip. And then I just apologized and I just was like and owned it and said, yeah, I regret doing that thing, and I'll always be sorry for this and I can't take it back, and it's taught me to be a better person. I won't make this mistake again in other ways, said my piece, and I was like, didn't think about it at all, And this is someone whose opinion I would have guessed matters very
deeply to me. What this person thinks about me, And I just didn't care because I couldn't. I couldn't control it. And thank god, it was like right on the.
Right.
It happened right as I downloaded the book let them, so I had read like ten pages of it and kind of got the gist of it. And I just was like, let let them be mad at me. Let them like, I can't control it. Did you care if they accepted your apology or not?
No?
That was another thing, was like I knew in my heart that I was sorry, and it wasn't just a placeholder.
I wasn't just placating them.
I knew, and I also knew that I will I wouldn't have done that had I given it more thought, and I won't do it to someone again. I will it will change the way I behave in the future. So I came from this a better person, and I really there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, Like I didn't think about this person's feelings when I did the thing, and there was no way that I should have there no, there was no I should you know, obviously I should have, but there was no part of
me that could have in that moment I was. I was not in a state of mind when I hurt this person's feelings to have protected their feelings.
I just I forgave myself for it.
And it doesn't matter if they forgive me I they get to be whatever they're gonna be. I can't change it. And it was so freeing I didn't think about it at all. I even thought, I'm not even gonna be able to interact with this person's work anymore, because this is someone whose work you could probably consume, each of us could consume. And I thought, oh, I really like
this person's work. If I see it out in the world now, I'll probably have to like swipe away from it really quick and stop listening or stop watching whatever it is.
And I came across this person's.
Work and I loved it and was able to sit through it and enjoy it. And that was huge for me because in the past, you know, my whole Taylor Swift story, when I like said those things about her and ended up in her documentary. I couldn't like listen to Taylor Swift after that because I was like, I hurt Taylor Swift. And then I was able to after I apologize publicly, even before she wrote on it, I
was able to listen to her again. But like hurting someone even if I just like can't even if I loved them, it's like makes it hard for me to enjoy their product anymore.
Yeah, but this guy Michael Jackson, where it's like, are we allowed? Can we listen to Michael Jackson because he did all those things, then you kind of have to get over it. I'm having that now with Kanye where it's like I really like Kanye's music, but he hates juice.
I I know, I'm able to separate the artist. Yeah, I think from almost everything all the time, but this time I was really happy about it. But I will say my friend ran into she's a huge Harry Styles fan and she ran into Harry Styles in the street after his concert.
I think I maybe told this. I'm sorry if I did, and she.
Asked for his picture and he said no, very politely because if what I know this too, just from being a minuscule, like you know, famous, is that when one person does it, other people see and then they start.
Being like, who is that in the car?
And I can only imagine that at Harry Styles level, it would be a line down the fucking block. So he was just like no, because he hadn't been noticed yet. She was the first person to kind of be like, is that you know? And so he's very polite and said no, I'm sorry, And she was so humiliated that he said no that she literally can't listen to his music gets embarrassed even hearing it because she was so embarrassed, even though he wasn't mad at her.
He was very polite, but you know, just to be told no by something.
At the after party of the roast, I went up to Gronk and I was gonna ask him for a photo and he like totally ignored me and boxed my out. And now I can't listen to his music anymore.
What a shame?
Yeah, yeah, it's uh. But I will say that I had my therapy session yesterday and I told my therapist about this moment and she was like, and I was talking about my friends, and I was like, I've noticed my friends and I don't know if i've it was ever this way, but I have a couple friends, including one of our close friends, and then some girls on the girls chat who and I don't understand this. Maybe
help me understand this, both of you. If, like the other day, I think I could share this, I'll check with her and maybe we'll take it out. But I think it'll be fine.
Sarah Lena said that she like she was walking.
Into a coffee shop or something and she didn't see this woman behind her who was like older and probably needed help with the door, and she didn't like push the door open more, and she saw it too late to help the woman with the door, and she was like, this woman thinks I'm a terrible person and is going to be mad at me, And she like was still struggling with this feeling hours later, after this stranger might have thought she was a bitch.
For me in that moment, I might be like, oh.
This is awkward in the coffee shop, and she might think I'm a bit, but it probably I know that I'm not and that it was an accident, And so even if she be mad, I just wouldn't. I don't think ever a version of me before or after let them the book would have cared what this stranger thinks because I know that I'm not a bitch and I just didn't see her.
Would you guys.
Carry that with you all day? Our other friend was at dinner and was thought this guy was mad at him. Remember that thing.
I talked about.
Remember, Sean was like, that guy hates me because.
Yeah, thinks about everybody all the time.
Yeah, but what is that?
Like? That makes me so sad for people to think that strangers might hate you.
Noah, do you relate to this? I don't relate to that.
But I think it has more to do with our friends wanting to be good people rather than if people.
Don't like them. You know, like, does this mean that I'm a bad person?
But like, I guess that's it's an insecurity on like a level that I don't like. It's like it's almost like they because that's what I was trying to say to Sara and is like, if you are certain that you're a good person, no matter what other people think, it won't matter. And you're doubting that about yourself, And as soon as you're able to solidify that and know that it won't matter what other people.
Think, you're right. And I think is a good person. She's one of the best people I know.
She would ever like leave anyone in the lurch or like wanting she would like buy someone a door that would be easier for them to open, Like she's the most giving person ever. So for her to feel that way was it just like it makes me so mad because I just want to like, I don't want.
Her to enough to suffer with that.
There are so many times that I feel like people think I'm weird or something, and so it happens so often to me that I think I'm immune to like out, yeah, how strangers feel about me, because I'm just can't do that every single day all day.
That's what my therapist said. She was like, Nikki, you I the reason you are better at this now is because you've had more experience with it than other people. Of people, strangers having opinions about you and you've just gotten immune to it or because you.
Gotten used to it.
It's like exposure therapy, because it used to be a crippling thing to me. If like people that cared about didn't like me, right, like yeah, people, I know people are going to encounter and now even that I don't care. And I never thought it would be something that I could get used to or like have experience with enough or get my ten thousand hours of being judged that you just let it go. But I really feel like
it's such an accomplishment if you can get there. And this book Let Them really help me if you're relating to this at all, Like the book Let Them by Mel Robbins is really really helpful about freeople being mad at you.
It's so freeing.
Did you feel like you can't control not my circus, not my monkeys, You can't control what other people are thinking about you. You just have to go. You have to just be your best self. And if you're nice, you know, you're nice. And if someone decides you're not nice, like if they're you know, in a Brazilian church and they decide you're evil, yeah you're not.
On you a part that and I'll finish by saying this and we'll go to break.
But the thing that really resonated with me, that made.
Me feel like, oh, I can't let this happen anymore, is that when you when someone's mad at you and you are obsessed about it and having anxiety about it, you have given your whole life to them. You are wasting your potential, your growth, your strength, Like you're wasting your life and you're just like giving it to someone else. Is that what the life you want to live is giving it to other people and you don't have an option. When you're trying to control how other people feel about you,
you're giving your life to them. It's like they are dictating your mood. If they're happy with you, then you get to be happy with yourself. If they're mad at you, you're mad at yourself. So is that the life you want to live is if some person your boss or the girl who works in the cubicle next to you, or the girl you went to high school with who said something shitty on your Instagram, like you're letting her decide how your day is gonna be.
What?
Yeah, Like that kind of put it into focus for me of like I don't want. I'm not someone who's like, I choose my life and I live it how I'm gonna but like, at least I'm not gonna let people who truly don't matter in the scheme of things tell me how I'm gonna feel about myself.
Final thought, you're at two M on Instagram.
Now, oh now, baby am, you're in the.
Two M club. Anything that you say can be construed and made into a headline that people will want to read because there's gonna there's you've reached that next level of fame.
Well, yeah, Chris was saying to me, it makes sense why celebrities don't do interviews and they don't interact with people on social media, and they don't They just don't. They like kind of isolate themselves because everything they say or do can be used against them.
There's a downside to it, Like if you don't do interviews for twenty years, then all of a sudden, you come out like Robert de Niro er in the election and start rambling about Joe Biden. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's not good. But you can do it. There is a good way to do it, and That is my boy, Timothy Shallome, who does a million interviews. Yeah, he does shout outs. He's just deferential to everybody. There's no like there. He's not being honest. He wasn't he was being honest unless he is being honest, and that's.
Yeah, I just can't be honest anymore.
Yeah, if he was being honest, he's not gonna start shit talking anybody for any reason, because he's acutely aware of the Internet and how the Internet responds to everything he says.
I thought you were saying he's a cutie.
He is a cutie.
He's a cutie ware.
He's a cutie. I like what he wears, and he's great at interviews. Shout out tout. He's unknown, shout out, yeah, Hollywood.
But then is that who I am? Is just being someone who's positive all the time about everything.
And then yeah, because.
You're a comedian and he's not.
How good was Bill Burr on Jimmy Kimmel by.
The way, Oh yeah, I watched that. That was great. I love I love whenever he just gives that dose of reality to a situation where it's like, what are we all doing here?
And you think he.
Might end up on the other side of things, you know what I'm saying, Like, there's so many comedians who have who go the other way, and he's still maintaining, like, remember this level of truth.
He's from Boston, and Boston has just always been that way. It's like, these are a bunch of tough, working class guys and yet they're aligned with you know, the LA and New York City. It's like, what's going on here?
I love in the last moment of that clip, it's on Kimmel right now and I posted on my story, But in the last moment of the clip, he was talking about screaming in his home or something and his daughter's like, Dad, it's just the toaster. And he goes. He goes, she goes, is this really about the toaster. He's like, it's not even that has nothing to do with the toaster. He's like, and she goes, what's it about or something? And he's like, you don't even want
to know it was. It was just this like nice reference to like this undercurrent of trauma or whatever that has led him to react that way. It's like it just shows a lot of introspect section on his part that I think people don't anymore, but he's Yeah, the last ten years, he's kind of developed that sensibility. He did mushrooms an awakening, Yeah, dude, it's there's a crazy clip of him on Conan during COVID where he talks about a mushroom trip and how he's been angry all
these ye and he never knew what it's like. And he's not even being funny, like Conan's waiting for a punchline and he's just like, yeah, just an angry guy, and uh, there's the last going on, you know, Like he's just like he's like, he's just talking about how he did mushrooms. He took too many. He had an
epiphany that he's never dealt with. Like I'm kind of paraphrasing from I'm not remembering it right at all, but he's just saying that there's a lot that happened to him that he didn't process, and it's just turned into this anger and he's like calling himself out.
And it's like he even calls himself.
Out in the Kim I love someone that is so can seem so righteous and then all of a sudden goes.
Like, ah, I was full of shit.
I don't know what I'm talking about, Like, how great is that in someone? That is a wonderful quality for someone to be so positive, no, no, so certain that they're right, and then to be able to just completely undermine it all by being.
Like, eh, I didn't realize how much helicopters were.
I was an idiot, like he We famously know that he got his helicopter's license because he wanted to escape LA if shit ever went down.
And then Kim Will goes, did you did you do it? Were you thinking about? He goes, I didn't know they was so fucking expensive. He's like, I didn't think about that, And it was just so nice to hear.
And he didn't you have to make a Sophie's choice with one of his kids about who.
He's great.
I'm so grateful we have his voice, Like I was just watching that being like, fuck, yeah, he got it from what I from what I can tell, he seems to get it right, and it was just it's it's so nice to have him out there talking.
I'm so I'm grateful for his voice.
It feels like kind of a Carlin esque uh bullshit detector that.
We need out there.
Yeah, we need midst of everyone trying to seem do comedy and be cool, and I'll include myself, like, you know, there's to just keep it real.
It's tough because I'm curious to see what the next generation of comics comes up with, because we need the counterculture to return. And right now, the most you know, all the comedians are kind of aligned with the people in charge, and so it's it's like we're not really getting the bullshit detector version of comedy right now.
Yeah.
Interesting, Yeah, all right, well I saw I saw a lot of it that in that interview, and I was heartened, to say the least. I was so excited to see that clip because it's like, and he was on a talk show being funny about the fires.
Already, Yeah, there you go, and he had to evacuate. It was it was really nice to see.
I turned down a talk show interview that was supposed to be tomorrow, No, yeah, tomorrow Friday to you guys, because I thought it was too soon to be funny and also I'm just tired.
Yeah you deserve on TV again.
I didn't feel like like going to a fitting and picking out an outfit.
This is also the perfect time to take a step back and just let it all, you know, just let it all sink in, let it all marinate, and let people miss.
Whisper to me in Plate's classes.
Yeah, exactly, and let people miss the pre fire time when we were all innocent and happy and Nicki Glazer was crushing it at the Golden Globes.
Yes, the last, the last thing that happened in Hollywood.
Yeah, I think I have a reason.
Critics Choice Awards and they get postponed again. We don't even know if they're gonna happen.
Wow.
Yeah, Grammys is happening though, and they're donating. I don't know that the Grammys made money, but I guess they're donating the proceeds of the Grammys, which I didn't know was a thing to the fires.
Taylor Swift donated ten million dollars she.
Did, Yeah, I didn't see that. Oh my god. Yeah, she's amazing. Beyonce did two point five.
Yeah. I mean, it's great that there's a lot of people donating, and you should continue to donate. And Ali and I donated to the Pasadena Humane Society too yesterday.
Really, Yes, that's good to do. I saw tell.
Yeah, we want to donate to the animals.
I know I do too. I want to say that yesterday, but like I do two and I feel bad. But you know what, you know, you can't you can't pick and choose what pulls at your heart strings.
It all does.
But for me, I'm just I'm into animals and I just and I've explained it before, because animals don't know what's going on, and that is what There's something about humans. I know that the human struggle is awful and there's maybe more suffering because they know what's going on. But for some reason, animals being like I'm scared and I don't know why is so much more heartbreaking to me.
And just that makes me get out my wallet faster.
And I'm sorry if that offends anyone, because I think sometimes people go like, oh, you can't shut up about veganism, but you haven't even mentioned this atrocity, and it's like, I can't help what gets me going? Yeah, and this is just let them be mad at me, Nikki, let them be.
Mad, let them be mad, and then let me put my money towards things that I care about.
So yeah, check out that book. Do we miss any other thing? I'm going on tour. It's crazy.
I know it's crazy.
I have like four shows in Denver, four shows in New York, four shows in Boston. Yeah, everything's selling like crazy. If you want to get tickets, I would get them very very soon. I think some shows just went on pre sale and they're already sold out since yesterday.
It's it's nuts.
I'm going to bring the heat for you guys, not too much, but I'm gonna I'm gonna bring you a wet heat.
Yeah. You're not gonna set the world on fire, You're gonna no.
But yeah, the door date's coming up our Minnesota and at the end of the month and then Atlantic but hey, yeah there's still tickets Atlantic, but still tickets in Atlanta City.
Go to a different city, call the Godless Town and see if it works. What happens there, Yeah, are let's test it.
But I like this country on fire.
Yeah, figuratively and literally.
All right, I'll try that.
Uh, we'll see you out there and we'll te you next week on the podcast, Thank you for listening this week by Brian by Noah Don't be kidded Bye. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart podcasts created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton and music
by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer pod and subscribe to our channel