The Nicky Gliser podcastser pos.
Here's Nikky.
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's a Nicky Glazer podcast. Thanks for letting us put out one per week the past.
Couple of weeks.
Uh, listeners, we really appreciate it. But now we're back for two.
Yeah, it's been a while since we've been remote.
It really has.
It's been months. I mean, yeah, there's a little bit of a delay. So I was watching you snap your fingers to the beat of the music, and it just looked like you had no rhythm at all.
That's something actually, I feel like I don't have good rhythm because I like I I think I talked about it on the podcast before. But when Chris and I year ago were really into Guitar Hero, there's like you set your guitars, you have to calibrate them, and you have to be like do a strum each time the circle gets on the other circle and you have to do it. And Chris was like laughing really hard because I was just could not do it right and couldn't
do a beat, and I was really nervous. And then I watched Whiplash over the weekend, first time I ever saw that this weekend.
Yeah, oh my god, that's one of my favorite movies.
Top five Great Taste. It's so good, it's so good.
I got really mad. Oh my god, whoa.
I just had a moment where I realized something imagery in it, or like a meaning in that I got. Can we spoiler alert whiplash for people who haven't seen it?
We just like fourteen so it's been ten years. I think that's a statute.
Okay, so you can skip bad one minute. I'm gonna talk about one minute. Okay, ready, set go.
Okay.
First of all, there's some symbolism Chris did not Chris knows I hate jump scares, and I do not like when he got hit by that car and I said, why didn't you tell me?
And he said, I forgot about it? And I go, how would you forget about that? That's a massive part of it.
It's like the least traumatizing thing to happen in the movie.
Oh I hated it.
You're right, it really is, but it I just like hate things that come out of nowhere. I don't like meet Joe Black when he gets hit by that car. I don't think that's a spoiler because I've never even seen the movie. I've just seen that clip.
I don't even like when there's someone in an elevator I'm about to get into Can you just.
Give like a quick summary of this movie for people who don't want to fast forward and don't want to want.
Miles Teller is going to the best music academy in the world in New York.
It's like a made up one. JK.
Simmons is the leader of like is the maestro for the jazz band that is like the best jazz band of all the you know, college students, like grad students, I think even in the country. Miles Teller is like young He is a drummer, and JK. Simmons is incredibly abusive instructor who screams at everyone, calls them, you know, the worst words in the world, and belittles them, finds information about them, uses it against them. Is just truly physically and mentally abusive to the point where it's just
like you just hate him so much. He's like Bellacaroli was to carry a strug, but you look.
Quite a lot like a leprechaun.
One of his that was really you do look like And he says he's gonna start calling him. No, he says, he's gonna call him Flannery. His name's Connolly.
I mean, what happened? I mean that was also JK Simmons, Like he was already famous obviously, but that was truly his big, widespread, mainstream break good.
And he's so ripped in it too. But Miles Teller is adorable and like so good. It's just so good. So Miles Teller is wanting to be great, and so he you know, earns the respect kind of of JK. Simmons, but Jake Simmons will give it and then take it away like he's not to be trusted. He's such a fucking megalomaniac. But he's trying to make them great. And one of the things he says, sorry, it's been more than a minute, keep going if you don't want any spoilers.
One of the things he says is about Charlie Bird or whoever this this amazing jazz musician. Yeah, only got good because someone threw a symbol at his head once during a session and almost like chopped off his head. Oh wow, Okay, threw a symbol at his head, and then that was what made him. He said, if if he never threw that symbol at his head. He would have, and he just said, a good job. Do you think
he would have become who he became? We would have been starved of that genius that he was if someone hadn't pushed him. And then Myles Teller kind of says to him like, well, do you think it's ever too far? And he's like, well, no, because it's never too far because only the greats could survive the what the if it's too far, then you're not good enough and the true greats can survive any kind of pressure, which is a.
Sparkani philosophy trial by fire when the Spartans, you know, if a baby was born and Sparta and had like a deformity or a different color eyes or something, they would just throw it off a cliff. What Yeah, that's what they did? Really, yes, babies they did.
Isn't that what happens in like that Midsummer movie?
Have you seen that?
Yees?
Oh Midsmer with an O.
Yeah, Midsommer, I've only read about it. You've seen it?
No one, It's one.
Of my favorites. So booked up right.
Florence Pugh like goes to this cult and they throw old people off a ledge.
Whoa right, Oh yes, yes, there's like some kind of like sacrificial truck.
Oh yeah, the bigeld the sacrifice. Well, it's it's been a while since I've seen it. The memory had to come back.
What about have you have you seen Hereditary? That's the one I only read about and I will never see because it's the number one listed on Reddit of any kind of thread. That's like, what's the most fucked up thing you've ever seen?
In its? Hereditary?
And then there's this other French film where a bunch of people get raped in a tunnel, and I don't even want to talk about that one, but I just read these anapsis anyway whip Remember I just remember the part what they got bagets.
In what oh in in France?
Yeah, well you should see what they do with those bagets. Someone got bagot in those tunnels. But Whiplash, though, was so good. The acting is just next level. The drumming, he would learned how to drum himself. But I will say at the very I don't even want to give it away. If you have to, everyone has to see Whiplash.
It's it's one of the best movies of all time.
What I will say is that the reason I wanted to watch it is because someone I think with Sean or you had said that the ending of Challengers was similar to the ending of Whiplash. Yeah, and I really okay, that must have been you, because I'm very coded, so yeah.
Yeah, now I'm learning.
It's like, I'm so glad that you love it because I loved it so much too. And and yeah, the ending that intrigues me because I loved the ending of Challengers. I like, I like an ending to just hit you, not like of Jump Scare, but just it it ends, and you just got to make up what happens next, and it's like you just you don't really know.
It's like a day New Mam.
I like a smirk instead of like someone like you know, like instead of someone smiling like it all worked out, Like I like, like.
Is it gonna be okay?
Like you like a Mona Lisa smile of like yeah, are they even happy about what's happening? It's all kind of inconclusive.
Same era of film. Did you see Birdman?
I did see Birdman, and I don't remember anything about X with the Flies at the end is that.
That's the thing. The ending is left open ended because it just ends what happened the for.
It, Like what's it about? Because I don't know.
That's the thing about Birdman. You sit there and you watch Birdman, you leave the theater, you feel traumatized. You feel like you've been tense, similar to how Uncut gems you like just like felt tense.
Oh that's why I haven't watched it, because everyone just says you're just on edge.
No, no, no, thank you.
It is interesting because after I saw Birdman for the first time, I walked out of the theater and there was for some reason, some other person there that I knew, so I got to like talk to him about it, and I was like, that was incredible. That was like one of the best movies I've ever seen. And Yeah, if you asked me, like today, what happened in Birdman, like I don't know whereas if you asked me today, like what happened in like uh uh, like Moana, I'll
be able to tell you everything that happened. Moment.
I haven't seen Moana or Mohana too. I know Mona two is being sued for like two hundred and fifty million dollars because they apparently maybe have stolen the story.
That's what I read this morning.
But I will say, speaking of Michael Keaton, but Michael Keaton backstage at the Golden Globes, Emily was filming me talking to Harrison Ford because I told her to well, I told her just film. I just told her to take a picture of me because he was in the background and I didn't want to bother him. So I'm like, I was supposed to be like on the same level as everyone who was backstage about to present, but I didn't want to like linger by any celebrities that were
getting ready because I said it last week. I didn't want them to like have to say good job to me or whatever, even though they did. But Harrison Ford, oh I said this, he was like lingering. And then Emily did she did we tell the story that she was filming me, and then Michael Keaton came up behind her. No,
Michael Keaton was just like roaming around backstage, very nice. Yeah, but he came up behind her, saw that she was filming Harrison Ford talking to me, and then zoomed in on her screen to film me and Harrison for oh my gosh, I, and she had no idea who either of these people were.
She thought the importance of either.
But that was so cool that I have a video that that Michael Keaton directed of me and talking to Harrison Ford and then the semi comes and hits me, and I really didn't appreciate that part of it. But also Emily took this amazing picture or video of me that I've never had this before, of the moment before
it happens. But I'm backstage and it's like I'm waiting for to walk on stage, and you see me backstage walking and like making that turn to like walk out the first moment, and it's really cool for me to like see it from behind and like see I look like really calm. I just am staring at the screen waiting for it to say my name, and like I just it's it's just it's so fun to watch. And I can't post it though because the fires. You can't post anything.
You can't the fires. So I'm waiting to post some stuff.
I know that I'm not saying that, like like I'm a victim or something. Please don't take my words wrong, But there's been so much footage I'm sitting on that. I'm just like I can't because it's just not the time.
You'd like sit on it until like next year, is like an anniversary post. I know.
That's what Emily was saying, and I was like, I just don't. For me, I'm sorry this is gonna sound I need to preface it with like you're being judgmental. But a lot of times when I see a year ago I did this amazing thing, I'm like, your life's not.
Going well right now, but no, so let's say.
Is that bad?
But anyway, times so once like the month a versary, I'm like, you have nothing to you have nothing going on, so you have to like tell us about something that happened.
That's how I feel. I don't even like to bring about something a day ago.
What like when people post stuff from like when they were in college or like old photos, I feel like they're having like a bad self esteem day for sure.
And it's like, why am I being judgmental if they need that to get to feel better about themselves of posting a picture when they used to be twenty pounds lighter, or like have better skin or just had things going on, Like who am I to be like you're like, because fine, just let it, let happen. But I don't like to do it because I feel like people are gonna say that about me. Really, the only person saying it about me is gonna be me.
No, I think a lot of people would say it. I mean, that's just the way it is. The Internet is filled with monsters.
Right exactly.
But it's a little bit different if it's a year from now and you're maybe about to do the same thing again and you're just posting people as like a ramp up to like remember last year. I think that it's a little different. But if you're like posting like a year ago to day I was still with my wife, then it's pretty sad.
No, it's like when it's just like anything that is. I just there's so much I read into on social media. And also I project not only a lot of insecurity do I project onto people or like judgment, but I project a lot of perfection too, So I think it balances out, like I give people a lot more than they should get sometimes, and I also take away a lot where I go, this is so lame, but who doesn't. And by the way, can I just say this about like the fires. I mean, whatever I would say about
them has already been said. It's the most tragic thing ever. I can't look at my phone anymore. It's so sad. I'm obsessive with the firewatch app just looking at the acreage going up devastated for everyone can't even fathom the amount of loss and devastation. And it's fucking awful. And that goes without being said. I don't think anyone's not feeling that way watching it, But anyone, and this has also been said a million times, anyone who is like
these people are rich, who gives a fuck? First of all, that's such a dumb thing to say, and I understand where it comes from because we are so divided in this nation. There's no middle class that we just hate the rich. And a lot of times I hate the rich. They're all hoarding their wealth. It's whatever. I just have to say, you would have that big of a house too,
if you were rich. This is the thing I don't like, is like it's hypocrisy, like these people who get mad at me about getting too many Taylor Swift tickets or like I've read in some Swifty chats. I'm like, but if you could go this many times, wouldn't you? And the truth is they they would, and they might say no, actually, I would donate my tickets to you know, starving children in Africa or whatever they would say, or like swifties in need, like there isn't even a place to do
that too. But guess what you wouldn't You wouldn't fucking do it.
So stop.
I don't until I see examples of that in your life in other ways, where you're just giving all the time of stuff that you really care about. I don't believe you, and so don't don't come at me. What was I supposed to do?
I just don't. I don't get I won't have this argument anymore.
I'm sorry I even brought it up again because I've said things like this before. But this whole thing of like these people being like they're rich, these manch these people with mansions, fuck them. Some guy who won the lottery won sixty nine million dollars in the lottery, lost his house in the Palisades too, bitch, don't you play the poor people? Don't you play the lottery a lot? And if you won, would you not buy a house in the Palisades?
Probably?
Yeah, yeah, you want. Would you be.
Sad if it burnt down? Yes?
Yeah, God, differing, suffering is relative to poor people.
If they got a billion dollars, would they just not spend it? Would they know? What would they do?
Would they just give it all away? I really want to know, because these people that seem to be so mad at rich people for being rich, you know, they're rich because they're just lucky, right, It's not because you're a bad person and they're a good person. They're just luckier than you if that's what you wanted in life, and so being mad at them about it. Yes, I get mad at the rich for not spreading their wealth more, but I don't I don't think that their houses deserve
to burn down. You would buy a house in Malibu too if you were a hundred millionaire.
Yeah. I mean you should even feel worse for the rich people because they had so much more stuff that burned up. I mean, it's like ten times worse for them all their things.
It's true, there's so much stuff that burned up. So much that is.
Did you see the video of the guy with his dog? Did you post this?
There is no can't I can't, I can't I can't watch the animal stuff.
I watch people talking about in front of their wreckage, talking about what they lost, But if an animal shows up, it's sorry.
It's getting skipped over so.
Fast, no jump scares here. And this is a happy ending? Do you want to hear it?
Even the happiest So I watched the video.
I don't even like it handed because the dogs suffered.
At any point.
Okay, Okay, I saw one about a cat and the cat was in so much distress and you can see it on their face that it just like it's not happy.
And the animal doesn't understand everything's okay now, it's like it's still in distress. So to me, animal videos, even the Dodo, where it'll show like a starving animal below a bridge, and then like, I don't like to see
it because I think about when it was it was suffering. Sure, we all have happy endings because we all fucking die someday, So why don't we all just watch heroin footage all the time, knowing that it's going to have a happy ending where the animal or the human is dead, like truly, when death is a sweet release from any suffering. So why don't we just everything has a happy ending if
you really want to talk about that way. But to me, videos that are like sad and then have a happy ending are not happy videos.
Yeah, I think, yeah, I mean, that's that's fair.
I almost what happened because I want you to.
Have an adventure. I have another story because I went to this one has no animals in it at all, but it is fire related. I went to see the Clippers game last night because I just had tickets to the Clippers game before the fires, and we're like, should we go? And we were waiting for to cancel the game. They didn't cancel the game. So of my friend to the Clippers game, and it's a home game obviously at the Intuit Dome. And first of all, it was like
twenty percent capacity, like there was like nobody there. I had the entire road to myself. We had the we could take. I could have one row and my friend could have the other row behind me if we wanted. Oh my god. But the Clippers, well that's with a lot of things coming together. One of the things the Clippers, who are good, but famously they're not the Lakers. They don't have as many fans.
And named after something associated with toenails.
That's right, it's it's I don't understand why they're called the Clippers, but the Clippers were playing guess who.
Oh the flick the Miami.
The Miami Heat, and I was like, this team should not even be allowed to come to Los Angeles.
I know is canceled too, right.
Yes, oh my god, that's so true. You can't use the fire emoji anymore.
Saying at least is fire when we both agree on something like what color should I get? And I'm like rat and she's like fire or you know, like and last lately she's just been it's been being on sent and she goes fox, sorry in the right sleigh, so it tills. So you know, there's a serial killer on the Loser Slasher. Then she she will go back to fire.
So the heat coming. And then there's people who are Miami Heat fans who live in Los Angeles for walking around with literal jerseys that have flames on them, going down with la you know, it's like insane that they were.
They're cheering against l a fire jerseys.
Yeah. So thankfully the Heat was put out and vanquished and the Clippers won the game.
That's good.
Yeah, so they didn't come in here.
And just sent a Christ is there right now and said the vibes are good. It's he says, it's eerie that it seems like you know where he's staying in West Hollywood. He feels like, uh, like.
Ever, it's business as usual, Yeah, pretty much, especially because now the air is cleared up. I mean it was really smoky.
I'm seeing instagrams of like it seems like it's okay, but it's not. You better put on a mask and that mask isn't even good enough. And then Noah on our chat said yesterday, if you wear makeup, you got to turn take.
Off your masks.
Every time you take off a mask, you put on a new mask because you got makeup on it. And so we are, so what, what's what? And then I Lisa Curry was telling me, she I gotta go to home depot and get one with a filter on it. I'm not even there, and I'm worried.
I mean I'm not I'm not exercising outside. I'm not going to go for a run outside. But like I've been going outside to walk Jack without a mask on it. Okay, inside, all the windows are closed and I have my air filters I have. I have air purifiers into in both rooms of my house from the last time there were fires. Now we're running. We're just running those and that's that's fine. Like when the fires first happened, I was walking Jack outside and literally it looked like it was snowing because my.
God, like nine to eleven.
Yeah, and you never had to evacuate, right, because you.
Know in Culver City.
Culver City is has an amazing man made moat around it because it's got the four or five and the ten and it's really difficult for a fire to jump nine lanes of highway.
Wow, that's interesting. Okay, God damn it.
It's Rob our friend, our good friend Rob Stern. He had to evacuate because.
He Andrew had to evacuate.
Yeah, because they're probably close to the the fire.
Girl had to evacuate, Lizzy had to evacuate, Sean had to evacuate, Bob had to evacuate, Ian had to evacuate. You and Gibbons are kind of the only people I know that didn't have to. Our friend Jammy didn't have to, Santa Monica, but it's some I would It's like whether or not you had to evacuate, how stressful it is to be there and just watching the app, wondering if there is going to be an ember that.
Just travels far enough to get you.
And and by the way, one last thing, when the watch Duty app just started like make like everyone starts spreading about it, like it starts spreading like something. When that started happening, like people were talking about that, because I was like, just good.
I was just going to New York Times like the.
App to look at the fire stuff and I wasn't getting anything. And then I hear about a sunset fire. I'm like, I want to I go, what is this? How's everyone getting this information? And someone said you got to do the watch Duty app? And I was like, oh my god, I thought so. For like a day, I everyone was putting watch Duty in there, Like you know the little bubble you have next to your Instagram name that's like a headline. Everyone was putting that right or on their Instagram story.
Watch Duty. I thought Duty was the name of a.
Show that a bunch of comedians were Oh my, I thought it was like a two B show that like was some kind of stand up showcase that everyone was on. This is so fucking tone deaf that people are telling everyone to watch this duty show that all of my friends are.
I was, but I didn't even like really let the thought go.
It just like kind of was there, do you know what I mean where you're like you don't even like process, Yes, are you see it?
And you kind of like I thought Evacuate Now was a show on CBS, So I didn't pay attention to that at all.
That's a new streamer, that is, But watch Duty.
I mean, like anytime I see watch anything, Like I have so many friends that are in the business. When they're saying watch something, it's like they're promoting something. So it was it was I really felt dumb that day. Anyway, we'll be back with more after this.
So, yeah, the fires are sad if.
You want to so, like, there's a lot of donations happening, and there's a lot of good stuff happening, and I think, like if you want to donate, you should, Like there's a lot of people that are donating clothes and they don't They say that they don't need clothes anymore.
I give you used underwear and like old dirty leggings. I hear that that's like the most yea, and baseball caps with makeup on it, and then like only shirts with deodorant stains that you don't want anymore.
That you haven't washed.
Those are that's the people that are watching dumping.
That stuff are fucking insane, dude, Yeah, insane.
Okay, so people don't people want new stuff.
People want new stuff, but you can you know the thing that people want most of all. This is what I learned from doing Adam ruins everything the people. What people need most of all is money. Just give money. A lot of these charities they have the infrastructure in place, and they just need more money to pay people.
This thing is to go to just the GoFundMe and pick a random family.
Oh if you can pay for them in full?
Yeah, no, just like pick a random family and don't like, don't scatter your donation to like random families.
Everyone donates like twenty brush.
When I go to these here's a problem with GoFundMe. I don't even know if I should say this, because now I'm second guessing everything I say because i feel like I've seen some things that I've said recently taken out of context, and I seem like a monster.
But let me be careful about this.
When I go to gofundmes to donate, sometimes I am so stressed out that I'm not giving enough based on people I see in the GoFundMe who have given more than me that I can't. I don't want to post
as me because I don't. I've already known my limit is going to be five hundred dollars, yet other comedians are doing fifteen hundred, and I've already said to myself, I can't do more than like I'm given a lot, Like I'm not going to give fifteen hundred just because this other comedian did, right, And so then I'm like, well, i'll post a non I'll just give it anonymously. And then I don't want to because then the person doesn't know that I gave it.
They do, They do because you have to put your email, so the person who is hosting the fun and they.
Know I didn't give a name, and then I just don't give. That's that's nuts.
And I don't think of amorosity.
Much, but there is something to it where you're like, she could give more. So sometimes I just won't give because I feel like people will think, oh, she only gave five hundred we know what she makes for things, she should give so much more.
And then I just don't give because I'd.
Rather them think that I didn't see it. Then I didn't give enough. Isn't that I know that that's bananas. Yeah, but I have to I know that I'm not alone, and I'm not a bad person for thinking that. I know that people don't tip like, people don't give gifts anonymously.
People want credit for it.
I have done that a lot in my life, but this isn't every time for me. By the way, this maybe once or twice I've noticed that I just didn't I'll I go I just need to think about it more.
I'll don't.
I'll wait until I'm ready to give more, or I'll just forget about it, and if it's important enough, I'll go back and do it. But there have been times where I just don't don't do it because I just would rather give zero than have someone think she's cheap.
Yeah, I mean that's that's say something that there's got
to be a way around on that. Maybe if you just give to one person and like, like I think what would be cool for you to do is to find one family, like instead of donating five hundred dollars to ten different families to find one and give them all of it and say that's my Like, like, there was this thing going around where JJ Reddicks, who's a basketball player, his his house burned down and his children lost on all of their I thought he's a coach. Maybe he's a coach now, well, coach of the Lakers.
Former player, Now he's a coach. He's the coach of the Lakers. Now. Holy, So I'm not really, I'm not. I'm much more NFL caught up in the NBA place right. Yes, wow, so he's the coach of the Lakers. Excellent job. I
think it's time you can be on the halftime show now. Yes, So his house burned down and his children lost their like jersey collection, and there they had like a jersey collection they've been amassing over like the course of going all the NBA games, and at the game, at the game last night or two nights ago, the two teams playing as the Lakers and somebody else, they said, no matter who wins, I think it was the Spurs, no matter who wins, we're going to give these kids, uh
signed jerseys and so they can restart their collection, and it's like, yeah, you could argue that like these kids are you know, they don't you need They already were privileged to have signed jerseys from all these NBA players. Do they need more jerseys? But it's really like give to people that you give what you can to people that are that you care about, and it just it doesn't matter how big or how little you just it's
more make it more personal. I think if you because everybody knows somebody, if you ever lived in La, everybody knows somebody who got affected by the fires, and you have the ability to help someone you actually know, as opposed to helping somebody you know. It's nice to get
obviously donate the charity. We all donate the charity, but in this instance, these gofundmes are just like you probably know several people who, like you've like had lunch with who their house burned down, and so to be able to help them, I think would be the way to go.
So many people that I spoke to the day before their house burnt down, like I some you know, celebrities were reaching out to me to say good job, or you know I met them on the red carpet, like Mario Lopez I talked to two days before his house burned down. Jamie Lee Curtis had been texting me the day before or you know, dming me. I was like, Harrison Ford I saw him evacuating. I'm like, it's so crazy to have been so close to these people who were so close to the biggest tragedy of their lives.
Hopefully it's the biggest one of their lives. I mean,
it's it's nuts how close it is to everyone. And you see the list of celebrities and and even you know, I don't know, it's just there's so many people that are and everyone's so sweet when they posted about their house down and they're like, I want to just focus on the fact that everyone's safe, and it seems people are really grounded, and it is, you know, just things, but like, what would you guys say, Have you guys like kind of thought about what you would save, like
if you'd minutes to flee, because it's kind of made me think about.
That, what I would say for my apartment, Well.
Yeah, that isn't a living animal.
Ali and I were looking around the house because we were like we might have to evacuate. What would we take should we prepare our cars? And we were looking around and this is the joy. One of the few benefits of being a millennial is that we're looking around and we're like, there's literally not a single thing in this apartment that couldn't be replaced or isn't saved on a cloud somewhere. Yeah, Like, I don't think there's anything in here. Like all the pictures we have those on
the cloud. We printed those off off Shutterstock. Even our wedding photos are in a cloud, Like, uh, you have these little knickknacks that who gives a shit? Like books, like it doesn't mater the heirlooms, Yeah, I guess they're I don't. I don't even really have heirlooms. I have one stock that was the first stock issue to my grandfather.
I don't have any heirlooms either. They haven't reached me yet.
Yeah, and no one to.
Ring from my grandmother. That's what i'd save And okay, hat and a bottle of water or something in.
A bottle of water.
Yeah, I would get like my medicine, because that's so fucking hard to Every time I go to get my medicine, it's always it's delayed. So I already have to like ration it out, and so I would get a bottle of medicine, and then I would get save.
Your medicine because one day you're gonna have to pass that medicine down to your children and grandchildren.
I would get.
Like, so I think there's some probably some clothing that I would be like, oh, that's like been special to me for a really long time. And then like, really, you're right, Brian, Like I think I in my pillow that is I really like because no matter where I would go, I would want that and my my eyemask.
Because I can't sleep, you could.
I'm just thinking about what I'm going to do this way, you know, until I get to the next door, like it might be till tomorrow.
Your evacuation Shrek gets sleep. I'm just like packing for a weekend trip.
Really, I would it is nice that things are replaceable. And there were so many people I was watching their stories of like kids drawings and things like that. Yeah, I get like, I think that's maybe is that we we all. I'm gonna not finish the sentence. I was going to say.
If my kids drawings burned up, because then you know, it's like.
You don't tell me you like them. I actually saw the service where you can send all of your kid's art and then.
They put it in a book you on Instagram. I think that they're trying to push that right now because they're like worried about losing it.
Oh my god. Yeah, No, there's going to be a lot of people trying to take advantage. There's gonna be fake gofundmes without a doubt. I mean, there's no no one's gonna be able to really check like if you actually had your house burned down. There's so many people who lost their houses that like, what are you gonna say, Like, oh, you're you're gonna question that, and you're gonna start sending
stuff out to people in Ohio. But I think there's another thing that needs to be discussed that is like infuriating about about this whole situation, and that is the amount of and I'm gonna say it's all Republicans. It's all like mostly religious people who are shitting on California saying that we deserve the fires, saying that we had
it coming. I mean, those people truly should burn in hell because they they they act like because of like the people that we elected governor or because of the because we have abortion here, that we brought this upon ourselves, because we care about the environment, that we brought this upon ourselves. And I just think that's like some of the most vile. That's like the most vile any of that. Oh my god, it's I see a lot of it. I guess I follow a more middle of the road cross section of America.
That's so upsetting.
Yeah, I mean it's upsetting.
I've seen people doing what you're doing and talking to it, but I haven't seen it. I think I've probably just avoided it. I can't stand anything from that side.
It's like it makes me mad because these people claim to love America more than anything, and it's like California is part of America and to shit all over California is shitting on America. So you can't love America if you say, well, California, New York, Washington, and Oregon are pieces of shit, Like you have to either you can either love the country. You cannot love the country, but you can't claim to love it and then say but not California because people vote Democrat.
I really Lisa Curry had a good post.
She's been posting some funny stuff amidst all this horror but doing it in a really like tonally like perfect way. But she was talking about like if you if I tell you that I'm struggling in the fires and that I live in LA, and you say I could never live in LA, don't fucking say that to me. Like this whole thing of people being like, oh, I could never live in California. Same same about a bullshit of like, oh California. Same people said stuff about that, like whenever
you live in LA or New York. There's a whole swath of swath of people who always have to mention when talking to you about it, I could never live there.
And the truth is you couldn't cause you're pussy.
You do.
You want too so bad, but you have to like make it seem horrible because you kind of are embarrassed that you couldn't live there.
That's what's going on there.
If you have to verbal aze that you and maybe it's fine that you couldn't live there. It is a tough city, but why do you have to tell us that it's so lame?
Yeah?
And else it's because you're jealous. It honestly is coming from and I know you're gonna be like, no, it's not. It just seems like a terrible city. Then why say it. No one else says that about your city, Like no one says to I can never live in Iowa. I can, like because we know that it's like a mean thing to say. But because La and New York are cool, you get to shit all over them. It's like this protective thing where people get to shit on things if they're cool.
Right. It's the same way when.
Women talk about guys having small penis is. They know they can do it because no one's ever gonna go, hey, I have a small penis, so they just get to do it all the time.
It's like this.
People find a way to shit on things that they can get away with, and La and New York are one of those things.
Also, Like in this particular moment, it's kind of it's just like a huge pet peeve of mine when people take something and they just make it about themselves. And in this situation, when someone's like going through so much suffering that you would make it about your desires and where you'd live and you won't live and stuff like that's so tone deaf.
Yes. Do you know the comedian Solomon Georgio. Yeah, he posted this great thing. Can I play it? It's like the ten seconds. Yeah. I don't know if you'll be able to hear it, but let me try.
Of all the shit talking people do about Los Angeles, let's be real. This city can be literally on fire. The wind can be trying to blow me away. Sometimes the earth shakes beneath me. But I still don't want to live where you live.
Yeah, exactly.
That's pretty funny because people know that it's a tough city to live in, NIX because it's expensive, you know, the probably the coolest most like go get a person from your high school, probably moved there, and you loved it when they failed eventually, because you don't have the balls to do it, and maybe you don't want the balls to do it. But if you're if you're shitting all over LA or New York and you when you meet someone from there, you go, I could never live there.
No one cares, And we know you couldn't. We already know because you're not there, because you would be. Because they are very cool cities, especially in New York. Let me just say that I think this is mainly in New York thing. I think LA some people probably wouldn't want to live there, but New York. Everyone should want to live in New York at some point. It's the coolest fucking city ever. And the reason you don't is because it's it's too busy for you and.
You wouldn't last.
Yeah, it's not because you have like you're cooler than it or something. It's so annoying. And now I'm making it about me by saying that.
But well, yeah, I like being back in Saint Louis.
I got that back yesterday. It's snow, so much snow, but it's too cold to melt, but it's the sun is beaming on it, so it's frozen, so it's just frozen snow. It's not even fun snow. It's just you're walking on ice everywhere you go. Chris, is it here?
I'm alone? Is it weird to be back at home?
I mean, it's what a parallel?
Uh. I did not want to be in LA.
We were in Hawaii and we were gonna, like, you know, I was even gonna to get to Saint Louis. I was gonna fly through LA. And I said, no, I don't even want to touch down in the city. I'm I talk about making about myself. I just am too depressed to even I don't want to look out the window.
I don't want to see people who look sad. I just I can't handle it. I just don't.
I was just I don't want to have a chance of the plane not getting out and I have to stay the night there, Like Chris is fucking there. Chris like chose to go back. I'm like, I what I'm doing to saddened by it? He's editing the Joan Rivers thing he shot back in November.
So well, the one thing that's positive about LA right now is I don't know if you were if you recall post nine to eleven, you were.
Insane, say it.
There is a small amount of camaraderie in the streets amongst strangers, like if you go to a restaurant, like everyone's kind of talking about it, and there is a kindness that you know. LA has never been known for being people being mean, but it so it's not a stark of a contrast as it was in New York, when like people start to be nice all of a sudden, it's like what, But La, it is people. There are people just like kind of there's more kindness in the in the in the general public.
I could, I could see how that would be nice, and I did, and Chris did say, it's like, you know, doesn't seem like like he's out in the stre like walking around, going to restaurants, like everything seems in business.
I just I don't know.
Sometimes I just it's the way I don't want to look at footage of dogs being rescued.
I just don't.
It's too sad, like I just want to avoid sadness. And maybe it's selfish, but I just told my assistant. I was like, get me back from Hawaii to Saint Louis, and I please change my flight.
I don't. I don't want to go through LA. I'm too scared.
And so I worked at you.
I flew all the way to Atlanta from Hawaii. Yeah.
It actually was like the shortest flight of all the ones, even the ones through LA that were offered.
It was like, well, left from Hawaii all the way to Atlanta.
Yeah, and then to Saint Louis was shorter than a lot of I think it was like on par with some from LA, but shorter than like San Francisco or Dallas or anything like that. Yeah, I did a Red Eye and guess what I watched on the flight. I'm like trying to watch more movies because I want to make a movie. So I'm trying to like get back into movies and seeing what I like and seeing what
I don't. And I've also I just feel like I'm not reading books right now, and I need to like consume things that make me feel a lot.
And and I had some time.
I had a week off, so we consumed some movies Whiplash and then the one movie that I read on a oh, it was like a Instagram post. I even put it on the girl's Chat. It was an Instagram post that said after I will after you, what movie for you when you turned it off? Made you stare at the wall for five minutes and question everything? And I sent it to the girls chat being like, which one was this for you?
Guys?
I forget what all of you said, but I remember the number one comment underneath this one was Interstellar, and I'd never seen Interstellar. I asked Chris about it because it seemed like something that had a lot of like destruction and suspense and maybe like aliens and like, I don't know, fire and shooting, but he said it wasn't. So I watched that on the plane and I don't really know that. It didn't leave me staring at anything. It left me staring at my phone. It was Timothy
shalam Is in it. I loved seeing him. I Jessica Schastain gorgeous, amazing. I loved you know, Matthew McConaughey. I don't know what happened. It feels like it felt like what's the inception?
To me?
I had to I had to read a synopsis of it to understand.
A lot of the concepts and Interstellar because that came out in like twenty twelve, yeah, fourteen. A lot of those.
Contents you want to know about it, I can tell you, Yeah.
Well it's been it's been well trodden now. It was. It was groundbreaking at the time, and I really I don't even think it was so groundbreaking at the time because of like Star Trek and uh.
They have like wirdholes and stuff.
Yeah, like since Interstellar came out, like even in just like cartoons like Rick and Morty like this, these cons and like the Multiverse with with Marvel like this stuff has now become almost like overdone, whereas when Interstellar came out, it was like right at the beginning, when we were like when it was coming mainstream to talk about these types.
Of I need more movies like this. I want more movies that leave me staring at a blank wall? What does that conjure? Any movie for you both that like left you going like WHOA?
Well? I thought Birdman was that. Now I can't even remember what happened. It was about some kind of play. I just remember there's a play and then he shot. I mean I I yeah, I thought Birdman whiplash. I mean, oh yeah, he was an actor. That's right, Birdman, Right, he was an actor in Birdman. Yeah, movies that made me like question, like the world or.
Just like making made you just you turned it off and you like couldn't speak or you were just like whoa, what did I just watch?
Kind of thing? I didn't And I remember having that feeling about.
Maybe American Beauty when I first saw it in like eighth grade. I think now even that would probably get me. Is that Kevin Spacey, Oh yes, Kevin Spacey working out in a garage. Annette Benning slapping herself yeah, who is also in I had not seen him since American Unity, and they shows up an Intertellar and he looks the same.
It was probably like twenty five year difference of those two movies.
Whoa, he looked great.
He died in the title wave an Interstellar though spoiler alert. Oh and Matt Damon shows up. I mean Interstellar people just started showing up tofer Grace suddenly is there. Matt Damon gets unzipped and he suddenly come out of this fucking cryogenic chamber.
I didn't even know he was in it. I was like, that's Damon. Yeah, nuts, Actually we were chicking it. Oh yeah, oh Anne Hathaway. I was like, what Ann Hathaway in this movie?
I could not believe how star studded Interstellar was. And then a young a timo.
Oh yeah, smote. That was back when movies were movies, you know, like when you could just like pack things with stars and everyone would go see it.
Uh, Elysium, elium, Matt Damon, no outer stuff.
Big though you didn't like it. I had pile of shit, right, never even heard of that.
How do these movies? I was like trying.
I'm like going through Netflix and Hulu and looking for movies, and I go, what is this goddamn movie that has Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Harrison, for Like, there are movies that have so many stars in it that like what nineteen ninety eight I have never even heard of.
Yeah, and I just.
Can't only hear that movies from friends.
I have no idea what movies are out, Like you guys will talk about movies and then I'll go look at them.
See the Last Show Girl.
I mean I saw all the movies, almost all the movies for Golden Globes. I didn't see The Brutalist, even though I hear that's the one that's like you gotta see. But I loved Honora I Amelia.
Perez choose your Own Adventure for that one.
That one's crazy, that just deserves to be watched because you you can't believe what it is there.
Yeah, it's it's you.
It's so it's entertaining.
It's visually interesting, compelling it The songs are interesting. They're not like patchy pop songs, but like I am, you do kind of get them stuck in your head for a little bit because they're so offbeat.
Yes, a complete lady.
Yeah, like a complete unknown amazing the story. I don't really know whatever, but performances a plus. Night Bitch that's a skip for me. But Amy Adams incredible. Scoot McNairy. Don't even get me started on mister Scoot McNairy because
I am obsessed with him. I was watching Night Bitch and I'm in bed with Chris and I'm watching it on my laptop and I'm like, this actor, I really like him, and Chris is like okay, and I'm like, I showed him because I didn't want Chris to be like, well, she's just like horning out for a guy because he's not like a very like obviously hot dude.
But there is a hotness to Scoop McNairy.
He's the husband on Night Bitch, and Amy Adams is incredible in it.
It's it's just it wasn't for me. I just don't.
I don't, I don't know. I just don't want her. I didn't want her turning into a dog. I liked everything else. I love seeing the struggle of motherhood. I thought it was important when we start talking about women being beasts and like being part of the earth and we need to rise up because we are the earth. I'm just like I check out. I just I don't like anything spiritual or like mythical.
I'm just not into it. It's not for me. But I know so many people who love Night Pitch.
But the performance is one of several movies that came out this year where a woman turns into a dog.
Yes, the other one being a Baby Girl, which I did. I did like Baby Girl, but more than Night Bitch, but a night Bitch. There were parts of it I really love.
Did you see Night Pitchy Night Bitch?
I didn't you see?
You to see it? No, because you're a new mom. You need to see it.
You got to learn how to unleash the beast.
Yeah, you just just really captures being a mom.
But you also, like are a mom.
You're already living it like you it's you're not gonna learn anything new about how hard it is to be mom. It's good for me to see to be like whoa God?
That is rough?
Yeah, Like that's like saying to Nicola, you should watch a movie about like a touring comedian.
But I kind of want to see that because you kind of want to see what your life you like. It's kind of cool to see your life in cinema, So maybe you should see cinema.
What what what movies that have comedians in it? Have you seen that You're like, like there was, like I like Comedy Joker. Joker was really solid king of comedy.
But I liked Punchline, even though I don't think that was a represent good representation.
Funny People.
Oh yeah, God, I remember Funny People.
Because he nailed it because he's a comedian. Sure, you know, I felt like that was pretty good.
Was top five Chris Rocks movie? Yes, I don't think.
I like that movie. Yeah he was, I think so that was good. Yeah.
Anyway, I recommend a Complete Unknown the most. I recommend Anora very very much like.
A scupaking comedy movie, Like it restored my faith in the ability of people to make comedies that are successful.
It wasn't totally a comedy though, like I'm sorry it's It wasn't like a broad comedy like Old School or you know, this is forty or train Wreck, like I want that back. Can we we bring those back?
And can those be.
Maybe they just don't make any money, Like we learned this from Popstar, which was one of the best comedy movies of all time? They just don't. People don't want.
To go to go to break?
Why?
Why does everyone want to see big robots throwing things at each other on a cliff, and like a big dinosaurs biting legs of other dinosaurs, Like, oh my god, why do.
We want to see?
Then with blue heads and like one eye shooting a laser. Oh, and then all these people turning into zombies and like marching in unison and then like why what everyone wants to see? People want to laugh? Why don't they want to like fall in love? Why don't they want to watch people like have a meat cute? Like what happened? Like I don't understand it?
Like what?
Why?
But because don't women enjoy things? Because women are not enjoying laser beams?
Women want to see movies about women turning into dogs and getting finger No, they don't.
I don't even know what women want. But like I like superhero movies. Do women I think women do like them? I'm not saying some women like it's but does she like them as much?
As like a rom com?
I have the answer to your question.
We like a really funny like like when Harry met Sally I'm not talking about like Lose a guy in Ten Days rom com I'm sorry, made in Manhattan.
Respect all the women in those movies.
They suck, They're bad dialogue, they're dumb scenarios. When Harry met Sally, you've got male. I'm talking Nora Ephron levels of romantic comedies.
Why aren't those being made?
Like, let me get some of those, or a least complicated a Nancy Myers like. That's where we need to bring things back. I don't want Sweet Home Alabama. I don't want legally Blonde.
I'm sorry. I know everyone loves legally Bond. I didn't like it. Why, I don't know.
I don't know, but I think that sometimes when things are made for women, they're dumbed down so much. And I'm sure it happens with men too, with superhero movies.
Yeah, they're dove down for men too.
That's why the robots, That's why I liked Whiplash. It respected my intelligence, but it wasn't like over my head.
I just want to see a movie where a big monster comes out of the sea.
That's what I'm saying.
All that happens in these movies, but people love it. People love to see like an arm turn into a machine and like a guy and then he throws a.
Rock and then maybe he gets in to a car, gets to a.
Car, Oh my god.
And then okay, wait, we gotta go and break and then I'm gonna come back with my biggest pet peeve.
In movies of all time.
Final thought. Okay, this is something I can't handle in movies, and it happens. It happens in comedies too. It happened in Barbie, and it stressed me out, and it always stresses me out so much when cars go like when there's a skid mark, when cars like when when like there's a rough turn and it kind of like comes up on or it like goes over a lege, it goes boom boom, and the axle gets all fucked up.
It's like, why are we fucking up cars? And like putting these machines that are like hand crafted, some of them handcrafted even like just they cost thousands of thousands of dollars and we're going like boo boo and like driving them so shitty. I don't like things going like er like. I don't like when things are damaged in movies. I don't like damage, and I certainly don't like it.
In cars. There's a scene where she's.
Like being chased by Mattel and they like grow over this ledge in the car. You can just tell that cars shittier now because of that one scene, And it's like, did we really need that?
Like why can't people just drive fast? Fast?
Is different than liker and like going over Like I think my dad got in my head that like the axle being fucked up and your alignment being sucked up is like there's nothing worse. It'll ruin the tires immediately, and then you have to take it to the mechanic, which I just too today, and it takes so much time. Even though they were they had me in and out as quickly as they could. It just is like, why do we need to see that all the time? Why do men like seeing cars go over curbs so fucking much?
And with a car?
I don't think we should have chase scenes anymore.
An action movie, That's what That's what I'm talking Yet.
It's the most boring part of every action movie is the chase scene because they've they've done it so many times. We've all seen all the tricks, we've all seen the trick where they turn then they go down a really thin alley way and then people have to drive away and you drive through a fruit stand. We've even seen a helicopter get attached to a car during it.
We've seen everything driving through a bunch of crops and I'm like, he's making his kids drive through these crops and they almost hit a tractor and they would have killed them all.
Then they almost drive off a cliff and like there.
Then he just says in the cool like, well, I didn't tell you to keep driving off a cliff, and it's like they almost died, but he says something cool.
I just can't and I know that's that's the probably lower the stakes.
Here's a new one that I don't think anyone's ever pointed out. I cannot stand in a movie when two people are walking down the sidewalk next to each other and one of them says something a little bit shocking, and then the person that here's the shocking thing stops in place, and that person that says the shocking thing keeps walking.
No, no one does that. People would both stop. They both are like why'd you stop? Do you know what I'm talking about?
When they're like, and yeah, I think I have a crush on Tom. And then then the person who hears is like stop and then the girl keeps walking. It's like stop doing that. And also say goodbye on the phone. It takes two seconds everyone. That's a common one that people have picked up on. And coffee cups like that, there's some kind of weight in them.
And also.
Explain yourselves more. When I write a movie, here's what I promise the American people, because I'm not going to release it globally, because I love America, I promise to have dialogue that is realistic. I promise that there will be no scene in which you say, well, if she just would have explained herself a little bit more, or if if that character would have just asked one more question that anyone under a normal circumstance would ask.
This scene wouldn't be happening. We will not have that.
We will not have a girl eating ice cream because her heart is broken.
We will not have a girl.
Uh, we will not have any kind of messy girl being messy because she's heartbroken.
We won't have that.
You won't have a picture of someone texting on their phone and they have no text history at all. It's just the first.
Oh god, that's bullshit.
Yeah, we won't have Well, there's so many other tropes that are you don't even have to say. We don't have to say we won't have like you won't have someone running after an airplane chasing them down. Like you won't have someone give an ultimatum saying like I have to leave the country tomorrow, yes, and we can't. We can't stay for another second to figure out this complicated relationship.
And then they and then finally at the last second, they'll run into the airport to stop them from leaving, and then they don't go on their trip.
Can't.
They can't do that anymore because of TSA prex or TSA. We won't We will not have someone singing off key in a car to establish that the character is adorable.
We won't have that.
We won't have someone have it be like their anthem that they sing throughout the whole movie, even though I love to sing more than anyone.
We're not going to do that to you.
We're not gonna have a couple get together because they just because they're both mean to each other in one scene, and then suddenly we're supposed to be rooting for them forever.
We won't have that.
We will not have a sex scene in which a woman is has a penis put in her within seconds of being kissed, unless she is yelping in like in fright and pain immediately.
We will not have We will not have a full.
Blown orgasm by me the lead actress on screen. I promise you, because I am sick of seeing actresses a list actresses having orgasms.
I'm sick of it. I love you, Nicole Kidman.
Actual orgasm. Isn't that true during taping?
Well that that feels even worse to me.
I don't think that makes If a man said that, wouldn't we all go that's disgusting rites.
I'm sorry.
If we found out.
I actually came while he was shooting a scene, he would never work again.
Yeah, it's a salt.
Yeah.
I hope that carpet that she came on is hanging in a planet Hollywood somewhere, because I will go to that one.
No, Nicole Kidman can do whatever the fuck she wants.
Love, I love her, keeps strumming you Kooki Kuala, but I do not want to see women having orgasms on screen.
Anymore. I don't want to do it.
I saw it baby Girl, and then what I mean baby Girl was insane and I I was looking at what I wanted to do a mashup of so badly. Was if you saw a baby Girl, you heard Nicole Kidman's orgasm sound, which is like really a guttural, very realistic. I will say it was realistic. I'll give her that sound grunt. And I wanted I forgot. I was asking, I guess Noah Garfinkel, but then he didn't know either of the references. I was like, I wanted that to be the like to put that sound in the Wicked
for her battle cry. I thought that would have been funny, but no one made it happen. And I think that concludes that what I will not have. I'll keep making a lisp as I watch more movies. And I would love besties to dm me any things that should not that you would like to not see in the movie that I make, because I'm just collecting what I like and what I don't like. And by the way, my movie's gonna suck too, but it's gonna suck for so many reasons because every movie sucks. I've learned, and it's
just hard to make a good movie. But I'm gonna try, and I'm just gonna start by going like, I don't like this, and I think that's a good place to start.
Yeah, that's an interesting place to start. To find everything you don't like and then see what's left. And at the end of it, you know what will be left after you remove all of the things you don't like. We'll it just be like two people sitting in a not a coffee shop, because that's the trope. Two people sitting on a park bench. What do you say, No, it's on a park bench. Park bench is pretty trophy too, Two people sitting on Yeah, I don't know that.
There will be phones, I will say that, and no one will be singing into a spatula or a hair brush and then get caught and go like it.
Get caught by someone not gonna happen.
Yeah, and people will have dirty bras well. What you can if you have random sex and you're taking off your clothes, your bra will be dirty. Girl, you will see me with a nude colored stained bra.
That's a classic comedy.
Though.
What you can do is take any of these tropes and undermine it the way you're describing, and that is a compelling scene in a movie all of a sudden, all right, if you undercut, if you take the scene where the person is singing into this spatulta and you somehow undercut it so that it's now provocative and.
It's a black spatult that can cause cancer. You guys read that you're supposed to hear all your plastic black spatulas cause cancer.
Even like this, like the silk, like the ones for nonstick pans, or.
Saying it says like all black, any kind of black cookwaar tool.
You'll get targeted on Instagram too. Yeah, you're gonna get it now.
After we talked about this, and then I just found out that there's lead inside protein plant based chocolate protein powders, which I consume almost exclusively.
So oh yeah, god, damn, I'm going.
To start being able to not read. I guess I don't know what happens for lead poisoning, but.
Yeah, it's not looking good. Yeah that's well, that that must be like the chocolate problem overall that Chris and I discovered that like all this dark chocolate has like catmium, and.
Yeah, Cadmium's the other one, which sounds like something that's good for you.
Yeah, it sounds like I was.
Trying to up my cat meum. But now I realized, all right, guys, we gotta go. We have another show for you tomorrow. We'll see you.
Then.
Send me things that you don't want to be in movies. I would love to hear them, and we'll read them on air. Dobika Bye. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie. Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, Video
production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel.