Legend Stephon Morris on the Cigna Work/Life Resources for Legends

All of those things have covered with Stefan's story. Let's listen in Well, I just want to tell you step On that you've made me feel a lot more wiser when you told me that your dad came to these Southern University on a recruiting trip and I hosted him while playing the Southern man. I feel like I have to I'm not older, I'm wiser. How about that, he said him in this story at least twice a year. So when I told him that you was gonna be

hosting the podcast, like, he was just so overjoyed. Tell them telling the story, telling a story that that I met him, any hosted me, see if you remember, So take me through your interfol experience from leaving Penn State

and the recent that you had uh International Football League. Yeah, so absolutely prod and Penn State talked to of course a good amount of teams that led to the waiting period of being drafted or not drafted, talking to actually three teams including New England doing a draft that I thought I was gonna be picked up at me and

round picks. Well later that didn't come about. Uh. Spoke with of course my agent and trying to identify was the best possible place where I can make the team with that being New Wingland and him knowing Bill having a good relationship with Mr belichat UH, we end up deciding to go to New England. So, I want to say maybe three four days later, I ended up flying out to to Foxborough. We had rookie minicamp, did pretty well.

Next thing, you know was regular mini camp and O t A. So I got to learn behind the key to leave at the time Rosalie Darling Uh, that was in my dB room as well as Devin reporting cool. Absolutely just love and try to pick his brain every every day being around Tom graded even though a short period of time. What what did you see? What are some trades you saw the Tom that you know goes into why he's had such a career that he's had.

Tom is a pro in all aspects, the way he trained, the way he prepares like Tom is just a pro. I saw that first hand. I remember my first time coming to New England, like he was, as I mentioned already in the Wait for But he was just he was just prepared. He's prepared, and he's he can adapt to Belichick likes to change things on the fly and practice.

So we could be in team meetings talk about how we going, you know, stop this or how are we going to disguise this concept and three minutes say that we get the team practice and maybe Thomas killing us boom, Let's try a different way. But Tom is able to adapt and prepare for anything. So I was very confident going into training camp. I already knew what to expect. I was sort of adapting to the Patreon way and

end up having a really good early party. Camp messed up my hands in the first time I got healthy. My very first game, it was against the Giants. It was a play Outland did maybe two million times covering the point punishing ship. I gotta cut back under the devil team told my hamster, and I just knew it's weird because I knew it was over for me. Like I knew. It was a picture that my dad sent

me three weeks ago. He sent me physic three weeks ago, and it was on NFL network and he just took a picture of that play and me on the sideline when they showed it. But you can just see it in my face that I knew like that was my last plan. So I still I still kept hoping. Of course I had to get healthy. That's sick some time that played apart mentally and physically. I just couldn't never get over the physical barrow. I think it was more

so just it was mental. Did you know I go an attempt to play in the cfilm When did you decided to call in your career? Yep. So I originally didn't want to go to the CFL. I fought my agent on this. I still find my agent on this. Every time we talked. We got a good relationship. I just thought that I was an NFL player. So coming from the NFL and ben in you know, NFL locker room and performing in practice, you know that you should be there. I just felt like the CFL was was

kind of beneath me. So my preparation going to the NFL wasn't the same as my preparation going to the CFL. I knew it was over because I asked him to release me. I just don't want to pay foot. I didn't want want them be in a CFIL and that was just a part of I wasn't the man yet. I felt entitled. Going from D one, a big time D one school, to New England to the CFL, I

caught entitled, so I asked them to release me. How did you come to terms with the fact that your NFL experience was not going to meet your own expectations. It took me a while, so growing up, you know that was my way out of football. Ass As you may playing this game from six years old, you have dreams. As for Rachels, my favorite player at that point of

time was Emma Smith. I wanted to have a career like Emma Smith, but I also watch guys like you and he is both Wishon's broad and Broad and Charles Wudson Dion of course, so I wanted to emulate my game after you guys, and also achieved the amount of success that you guys have put in as well. Thank you.

Little did I know that you know that thirteen year career that I dreamed of, and me being financial stable and being able to provide and do everything I didn't dreamed of at the early age that it would end in six months, So me coming to terms with it, I didn't come to terms until I became a man. Even though I was already twenty three years old during that time my career, I still wasn't a man yet. I was still I still identified myself as a football player,

step the football player. I wasn't stuff on, but I didn't. I didn't come to terms until I seek help, until I went through, you know, the obstacles of being a dark zone and danger zone. So it it took me almost three years after me being released, three years after my first NFL game, to come to terms with the fact that hey, this is this is real, like this is this is what it is. So it took some time. Now you said something, you said when you became a man? What what do you mean? So when you for me,

I thought I knew everything. Not that I couldn't be coach or or taught, that's not the case at all, but having the literally the world on your shoulders, trying to make it for everyone else, trying to be able in a position to financially, um being a position to financially make everyone else happy, make sure they don't have to work. It was a lot mentally, and of course that mental aspect played a part of my my physical traits of me being injured. So what I mean by

being a man is I was depressed. I went through suicidal thoughts. I was depressed for almost almost two years. I went through suicidal thoughts for six months, and every day during those six months I thought about a different way of trying to kill myself. Right, So doing them doing those six months to thought process is who's gonna temp my frienal? These are things that's coming to my head? Who's gonna be at my criner room? Are they gonna miss me? Am I going to have a big funeral?

Like just those type of thoughts, deep thoughts. So month I was able to say it again, were you alone than anybody? Did you ever want? I wasn't alone. I was alone. When I wasn't alone, I didn't see to help. I had help. I have my dad, who that's my everything. He doesn't raised me since I was the infant, So I had help, but I didn't know how to seek it. So At that point in time, mental health wasn't I wouldn't say it wasn't as big. A lot of people didn't come out about it like the guys do now

in the Kevin Loves of the world. It wasn't being spoken about. So my dad, actually he's the He's one of the reasons for me seeking help. He's one of the reasons. Yeah. So I remember we had this program with the NFL Players Engagement. This is right after maybe six months after I got released from the wind Man and we're going on this trip, right we're head of the Claytland. I remember this day. So I'm not so what I said or what I did, but my dad was with me and he said, you're okay, like you

know what I mean, schedule a counselor. At that point of time, I'm like, I'm good, Like I'm fine. I don't need it. I don't need a shrink. That's a week bick. That's what weak people. That's what I said. That was my thought process at that point in time. I'm strong, I guess, you know. I felt like you know, men wasn't supposed to cry. They had to handle their own issues. They didn't seek anything. I felt like that wasn't being a part of a man. So I ended

up seeking help through Troy Benstin. Troy Benstin and my dad are really tight. They talked almost every day. He just saw me just transpired, going in a direction that I wasn't that wasn't needed, and that direction was I was lashing out, not physically, but more so emotionally. It was times where I could be sleep and I was like wake up, just swinging like I was really in just like a dark place. Around that time too, my

birth momstar started coming around. I haven't seen her, I haven't talked to her, and now she just now coming around. So I was just lashing out as so many things. I didn't know how to cope. I grew up. I came up on the time where social media medea was just now starting to be be huge, right to Twitter, Instagram, and people don't know like the current players, the players

that recently transition off the game. We look at, you know, how many lights we have when we're playing versus how many lights we have when we don't when we're not playing, Like you can see those signs where they paid go from being open to now become a private social media for me, that was I was doing things where I knew I was done, but I'm still posting a little videos like I'm working out just to get the love from those fans, to get people that I haven't even met,

just to get that approval. So social media played a huge part for me as far as just my my depression. I was able to seek help through Troy. Troy got me in place with my account manager. Now as sting that her name is Balie Featherston. I've probably don't remember this conversation, but we met a Georgia attack. I was on the camp where, uh my football academy Prime example, took a few kids to Georgia Tech for a camp.

So I end up meeting Valerie through Troy introduced me men her talk for about a good hour and a half about everything, where I come from, what I want to do, what happened with my injury, how was Bill better check like everything. I'm not sure how she kind of felt it, but she asked me, how how was that doing mentally right? And now you know, I told her because I wasn't seeking I wasn't seeking help at that point in time. Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm

I'm fine. I'm good, you know, because at that point in time, I'm thinking me seeing a counselor or especially in that field that's just being looked at us a week. I'm not a weak person. So she said, well, just in case you do need it, here's my number, give me, give me a call, and I'm gonna give you the number to the NFL player a counciling in the system. So ended up leaving Georgia Tech. I want to say that was a Sunday. That Monday, I end up calling

a dedicated number yet set up. I was situated, and that was my my first time seeking help. You've been a man, simply man, you hope with yourself and got to help you you needed. Is that how you're described being a name? I would definitely say so. I would say it improved my communications. I was able to talk to my birth mom. I wasn't lashing out as much.

My interpersonal skills got a little bit better. I had the awareness of, you know, just greater self acceptance and self esteem, better expression and management of just my emotions in general. All right, So I wouldn't say I was relieved right away from my depressions and my suicidal thoughts. Of course it took some time, but me just seeking help or you know, constantly visiting my council at that point in time. It helped me tremendously and made me

a better father. Um. I had my son my freshman year of college, and I mean, you played college football. It's I don't you don't have that relationship. You just you just his dad. You're not the father, right, So I really think everything do happen for a reason. Mean, Andrew happen for a reason. Me being a better dad, me being a better friend. Uh fell the stuff. I was still playing, the relationship I have with my son now and my mom passed away. But me bridging that guy,

us bridging that guy, it would never happen. Yeah, step on. One of the things you have more than just your expectations, but has a long career. Your birth mom. You know you mentioned that. How does she find you? You're in the middle of this transition that you weren't expecting and your birth mom shows up. Yeah, I mean I guess it wasn't hard. I have siblings I kept in contact with, not as much, but I kept in contact with. Um. They know how I felt, don't give her my number.

That's just where I was. I don't. She wasn't there. She wasn't with me when I was practicing, she wasn't with me when I graduated. There's no point in her showing up now, and in retrospect, I was really I was really hurting because I wanted her to be at every event. I wanted her to, you know, being my son's life at that point in time, like I needed her. I just didn't know how to tell her her that. Yeah, she she came. She came back into my life that

week I got released. The week I got released, she reached out to me. I just asked me how I was doing. She was proud of me, and I think I gave a pretty good answer. I didn't last off yet, but I felt myself, as I mentioned, just hitting transpiring downward when she reached out to me on her birthday. So she called me on her birthday and she I don't know why she said this, but she said, so, I'm a little disappointed in you. I said why because

you didn't get me nothing for my birthday. Right, So I'm thinking at this point in time, because you know, you think I have money I supposed to get you something out there. You know, I haven't seen you in what twenty years apparently, So I end up writing I ended up texting her back and I said, look up the word disappointment, and that's what you are in my life. And that conversation no kind of just laying me down a path where I was just fighting demons. As I

mentioned earlier, like I'm sleep, I'm waking up. I'm seeing like things that I'm afraid of, like and I'm fighting them in my sleep. I wake up, I'm yelling. Right, So your story is typically just the opposite of the conversations I have with most legends. It's using their their fathers. Yeah, we're after their life for a long time. You're the first that I've experienced to have this experience with your mother. That's pretty interesting, right it is. I mean I grew

up I always thought I didn't need it. So my dad had my step mom, who I called my mom. That's my mom, right, So whenever my birth mom didn't come around, I just didn't know. I didn't win end scepter. It's a it's a it's it's a weird situation. I'm gonna tell you how God work. So I'm just gonna move forward a little bit. But we ended up somewhat bridging out God. I end up coming to Atlanta. It

says how it's his Mother's Day. So she come down for Mother's Day, and she just opened up to the reason why she wasn't there, why she had my siblings, there's everything right, So she's like crying to me. And at that point in time, I'm still seeking my counseling sessions for depression and anxiety. But I didn't know that her opening up to me like that would also be you know, counseling in itself, right, So we ended up hugging it out, both of us, and tears. Uh felt

the I just felt so relieved. Six months later, she passes away from a brain interist. So the doctor said her aneurysm was so big that she should have passed away three years ago. Man, I don't even want to transition because this is so so before I transition to signal your experienced there. It's something like you had a need for Mom that you have been suppressing, a ward not even aware of. Yes, sir, I would say so man,

talking about signal signal work in life, resons. Yeah. So, as I mentioned, Valerie introduced me to the program, I got connected, I saw help. So my first my first session actually uh seeking the counselor, I said, I was quired for forty five minutes. I didn't say nothing my first my first session, so I was just thinking, like what the hell am I doing here? Like I don't I don't need this, I'm fine. My second session, I was quiet for forty five minutes. I remember this vivily.

She ended up writing on on this on this board, while are you so angry? And I came back to that third session, she just said, you don't have to talk. I just want you to write. You know three reasons why you're angry. So I wrote down. I said, I'm angry because I'm here, I'm angry because you don't understand, and I'm angry because I let everyone down. She she mentioned, she said, Ryan, why do you think I don't understand? I said, because you wasn't you're not you never you

didn't play this game. I want to talk to someone who played, who understand where I'm coming from, who had the same dreams aspirations of me, who know exactly the shoes that I meant, I say, it's no possible way that you can help me if you didn't walk through my shoes. Who did you think you had let down? You said? You told her I let so many people down? Who did you think you had let down? And just

my family in general. I talked about, you know, just having these dreams, like I mentioned watching you, you know, coming up playing with you on mad and here my dad talked about, you know, has a recruiting trip with a Kniss ironically, but having these dreams and aspirations and goals of getting my dad at the house, paying off his car, not not seeing him work again, helping my great grandmother, helping my siblings. Just I just felt like

I let every one down, even my son. It was times where my son, for a long time, it would be like, so, when's your next game? And I didn't know how to tell him that I don't play no more, and stuff on being in the counseling sessions and with the first concession for five minutes of silence, what made you come back? There was no judgment. I felt comfortable. I felt comfortable sitting in silence, no judgment necessary, no judgment passed. She allowed me to beat myself within those

forty five minutes. She didn't allow me to She didn't force me to speak, forced me to do lessons that she had written down or pre playing. She just sat there with me. So that next session was very was very very helpful. Of course we discussed that, but she it was needed her the way her, the way she her sessions went. She just allowed me to be me. She let me be quiet when I wanted to be quiet. I pride in the sessions. Didn't think I would. I

probably cried every session other than the first two. Like she was just amazing and getting me to open up and see things and allowing me to see the world just differently. And she told me, she that you know you are more than what you're giving yourself up. You are more than just a football player. Cliche, but it's true.

You are more than a football player. I told her at that point in time, I said, I can't even identify who step one is as a football player, and I'm introducing myself and who Stefan is as a man in general. Every conversation that I have at that point in time was hey, my name is Steph wars. I pay for New England Patriots or Hey, my name is Steph Wars. I went to Penn State. I'm a former

NFL player. That's all I could give you. So she allowed me to open up and identify exactly who step On Morris is and not just stepped a football player. So going back to the signal work work like resources program, I utilized that. That's before I even got the signal, So little did I know Valerie would then become my

account manager for the program. Um. I was able to bridge that gap from being a former player and seeing what it looked like versus now been in a corporate setting and then trying to identify how du you know we job utilization on? How do we connect with these players? I'm sorry, what made you fall it? Make the call? Valerie her words? Or did she follow back up with you? She didn't follow up. She was just genuine. She didn't know me. I mean, it was an introduction, but she

spoke to me as if she cared mhm. And my dad didn't make me because he mentioned about counseling to his words, I mean, I struggled it off. But speaking to Valerie like O her thank you to this day, like she made me go see help. So if you got a chance to talk to all the NFL rookies, including the draft picks. You were undrafted, but to all the rookies, what would be your elevator speech to them? That's who are not alone? I would silt off at that.

You are not alone? And what I mean by that is, we as humans have an expiration day, right, we don't know when it's gonna found. We also have an expiration day of football that sometimes will be lucky enough, we can go out on our own own terms. But the majority of the time that's not the case. So you're not alone in the process of when that time comes. Don't be afraid to, you know, seek help, open up,

be vulnerable. So sitting to help you so much going through that council, you just you decided to make it a career. Tell us about that. Yes, so, Troy invention is a huge mentor mind. Uh, he wanted at first, he wanted to see me, you know, put some work in. So I was going on job interviews and everything and just your typical sales position door to door, and every conversation that I had at that point in time was so,

what experiences did you have tell me about yourself? And I kept giving them the same manser, which I would get angry. Which helped me with my counseling sessions. Was I told you I have no other experiences, but no other jobs. This is me New England, Penn State. And I was just getting so frustrated because I just felt like I'm not gonna never get a job. But at that point in time, he just wanted to see me

get off my butt and just work towards something. I didn't even know he had, you know, signal and playing. I didn't know my conversation with Valerie year later would lead to hurt me and my manager. Yeah, so coming coming to signa UM it's it's been five years now, a little over five. It's been amazing. It's been awesome. It allows me to connect with not only current players, performing players, just letting them know they're not alone. I'm here.

I've been able to participate in events like the Player Care Foundation that's in communities event and run into you know, just your John DA and open up to him about you know what I went through. All right, I ask you step forward, who what would you say to rookies? Now I've asking you what would what would you say?

To the high school freshman. Awesome. So I actually have a actually have a program called Prime Example that my dad started back in oh eight, um training mentoring just high school kids as well as as well as youse kids. I actually bought that program out to Atlanta. I started about two years ago. Kids get excited when they see a former player or someone that you know they played with, them mad and someone that they can google. But I identify myself. Hey, hey that's not me. Yes, I played.

I played this game. But I have a job. I have a day to day job, which is okay. I'm in a I'm in a corporate office, I'm in a cue. I went from seeing my name tag on the locker to my name tag on the cube. That's okay. But I always tell them, tell my middle school and high school kids, I want you to find something you enjoy outside of football. So the reason why I think guys transition is a little bumpy, it's because we we don't know.

We don't know what we like. We've been playing this game, and we've been utilizing this game for you know, financial reasons and just to make it. We can't identify if you like to, you know, maybe want to be a chef or be a lawyer. That's not the things that I was brought up or raised. So talking to my younger kids, I have them, you know, before they even stopped the program, what you want to be? You get the same answer. I want to go to the league. I want to go to the league. I want to

go to Alabama. You may get one that may say I want to be an engineer. After I'm done playing, right, then I have my talk with them. I bring out certain guys that I don't play with, male or females that has that I see doing great things in the community. And it may be a lawyer or maybe a counselor, and maybe a teacher. Come out and talk to the kids. Let him know what you do while you love it,

while you like it. Then I have my kids. Uh, come come to me the next day or the next session, whether you want to be right down, tell me why I wanted us to league. I want to be a doctor. Why you want to be a doctor because I want to help people, that's the typical answer. Or you know, well, I want to be a lawyer because I saw my brother or sister, you know, get ten or fifteen years and they didn't have a good lawyer, So how are you going to work towards those steps? How you want

to do it? So they don't even know that this lesson I'm giving them is helping them identify the degree that they may want to obtain, right, Right, So that's that's how I talked to my kids. Is there any programs anything available through signal that Legends you're noticing not taking advantage of that? They should? Anything you want me talking about now, work life resources program? That's that's that's the point. We want to drive utilization and it's not

just for Legends, but it's also for everyone. Right, So you got your your careers, you got your Legends, and you got you know, your household members. You know what I mean by household members. So your wife can utilize or your daughter can utilize this, you know this program as well. If they're you know, struggling with anything, how

can they find out about work life resource? They can go to the Legends Community Act, or they can call our dedicated sicking the number, dedicated work Life Resources number, so it's it's out there. It's also melions that's generated. I'm not sure when maybe quarterly about the work life resources program. But this program has been helpful and it's been out here for a while. Wasn't just what you went through is the resilience and you walking through it.

God gives us the grace to do it, but we have to put into work, and you did it and are doing it. Thank you so much for being on the NFL Player's podcast and invested yesterday. Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you. To provide feedback or request a topic for discussion, email us at NFL Legends at NFL dot com. Yah