Welcome to the new manager podcast. I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. I'm glad that you're here. I hope you're doing well. And I wanted to start by sharing an Insight that I had. I was talking with someone who listens to this podcast and they told me even though they're not a manager yet.
They're transitioning out of Academia into the corporate world, and they told me that, Listening to my podcast was really helpful, just for understanding how to work with other humans in this new corporate environment. And I love that because absolutely this podcast is for you. Regardless of what stage you are in your career. And even if you don't have people, you officially manage what I know 100% is that before you officially become a Manager you are developing skills to
manage relationships. Effectively at work. You are learning how to manage up your learning how to manage people that don't officially report to you. But you still need to manage the relationship, manage expectations. In order to get collaborative work done. You might be managing volunteers. You might be managing the intern, you might have volunteered for a A committee or a group project in your organization where you don't officially manage, but basically you have to learn how to do
that. So I just wanted to share that with you. And yes, definitely. Take the insights from this podcast and put them to good use. Use them in your own life. The other thing I wanted to share right up front is that I am a coach. I do have capacity right now for more one-on-one clients. So if you want to get better at managing people and you want to work one-on-one with me that is available to you. Go to my website. Chemical.com., You'll see how to message me to request a consult.
We'll talk about where you're at, what you want, how I can help and I can even coach you a bit on how to Hitch coaching to your organization because they might be thrilled that you are taking the initiative to do this and they might sponsor some or all of it for you. So, do that. If that is interesting to you. I'd love to talk with you one-on-one and help you even more. Okay. Now, the topic for today. I wanted to share with you this concept that every action you
take. Is driven by what you think and how you feel when you become a manager. And you now have to make decisions about people or you have to take on new levels of responsibility and you're asking yourself like what do I do? How do I do this? All of that, focus on what you do? The outcome of that will be driven by what you think and how
you feel. And just as one example, I wanted to explore with you is, there's a thought that I see come up with a lot of my clients and it's the thought I can do it. I can do it. That's the thought that drives their actions and often the feeling of I can do it. Is this feeling of I'm Dependable. You can count on me. I'm a team player. I have the confidence to figure this out. I can do it. Let me help. That's the fundamental. Thought and it often comes from a really positive place.
It's often connected to a very personal value system around being self-sufficient, being helpful, being willing to pitch in when there's a need. However, this can become problematic. If you're not careful and by that, I mean that same exact thought I can do it. I can also turn into that actions of hoarding. Like hoarding opportunities like saying yes to too many things and never saying no having no boundaries.
I can do it. So you overextend yourself or you make yourself too available when you're thinking. I can do it that can turn into, you don't delegate. Part of the manager's job is to decide what needs to happen, who's going to do it and do they have everything they need in order to accomplish that we can get hung up and not delegate because we're thinking I can do it. I don't want to burden anybody. I know how to do this.
It would take longer for them to do it because I know how to do it. I'll do it. I can do it sometimes to that. Thought I can do. It, it actually signals that you don't trust anybody else to do it. You would rather do it yourself so it can be done the way you like and you don't trust other people to take it on. Which is why it will not surprise you that I can do. It can also turn in to micromanaging. I can do it. Or if you're going to do what you have to do it.
Exactly my way. Not to the expected standard or the agreed upon you. No expectation, but more the sense of my way is the right way and it is, the only correct way and it needs to be done this way in order for me to feel satisfied with the result. So micromanaging can show up. That thought I can do. It can also be connected to this other thought. There's no one to help me do it. I'm all alone. Here. I have no support. There is no one here that has my back. I don't trust other people.
I've relied on people in the past. They let me down. There's no one here to help me. I can do it this kind of very rigid Independence self-sufficiency. And the reason I wanted to point all of these out is because it's really helpful to remember when you're thinking about yourself as a manager and as a leader and as someone who is making decisions, About what you are doing, when you're making decisions, about what is the priority? What will you take on?
What is yours to do? And what is someone else's to do when you are in that position? It becomes very helpful to take a step back. And really question. What are the thoughts that are driving your behaviors? If you are over committing or consistently, Ending or in a pattern of opportunity, hoarding where you say yes to every opportunity, even though, just because you could do, them doesn't mean you have to take them all on, right?
Like if you're in this kind of behavior pattern where you're creating results that are hindering you that are interfering with your ability to do, your best work that are getting in the way of your team doing their best work. Then what we want to do is we want to pull back and say like what is the thinking behind the doing?
What are the thoughts? And emotions that are driving, that actions that you're taking because when you start to understand that that makes it so much easier to know what to adjust and change. Otherwise, what happens is you might have an idea of like, I know I should delegate more but you'll fight yourself on it because Neath. I can do it and it you hold that as a very cherished value.
Like your ability to be self-sufficient, your ability to be independent your willingness to be a team player because you value that and it's tied up to your identity and your sense of who you are in the world. You're going to want to defend and protect that idea of who you are and what helps is when you can see all the reason I am overextending myself. The reason I am saying yes to everything and not delegating is because in the back of my mind, I'm thinking I can do it.
And so, I just do it. And when you start to see that in question, it, it makes it a lot easier to then adjust. And maybe, then we say, alright, well, at this stage now, or given the current constraints, or given the size of your team, or given the goals you have for this quarter, or for this year. If your goal is to onboard and grow your team by a certain amount of people, then what will serve that goal.
Most is not you doing everything just because you know how and you're the fastest at it. What will serve your goal more is redirecting that same value, that same thought I can do it. But now we're going to direct it to something uncomfortable like delegating. Something you haven't done before something you don't feel as competent or skillful at. Now when you're facing something new, that same thought comes into service for you again. Okay, I can do it.
I can slow down. I can document and create resources for these processes. So as we are onboarding new team members, I can have something ready. For them to help them feel successful connected. Clear about what they're working on. I can start to offload some of the work from my plate and successfully transition it to somebody else. I can do that. And it is helpful because when you start to see how all this works, you start to notice where your resistance is and why what are you avoiding?
And why what are Are you procrastinating on and why? And as you start to understand, you know, what are the thoughts, and the emotions that are driving your actions and you start to get more clarity about that. That also, then translates when you're interacting with other people and you're thinking, what are they doing? Why why are they doing that? Why did they say that? Why are they emailing these people in this way?
It actually starts to give you the ability to think in a different like on a different level with respect to what the folks around you are doing and that helps you to take things less personally, get more Curious. Remember that other people have a different life experience and
a different worldview. And so they may see things differently and behave in ways that don't make sense to you at first and being a A great manager includes having the ability to effectively manage people with different personalities. Different backgrounds, different, worldviews. It's this ability to become perceptive, Discerning flexible and all of that is about how you're thinking all of that is going to drive. Then the actions that you take so that is what I want to do.
Here with you today to this idea of how all of your actions are driven by what you think, and how you feel. And one idea I can do it. That can be very valuable in some contexts can also get in your way. So we want to be on to ourselves and understand what's going on so that you can make choices that support, you the goals that
you have. For yourself as well as your team, your organization and everyone that you are connected to through the work that you do. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you next time when you're more effective at work. You're happier in your life. And when you're happier in your life, you're more effective at work. I can help go to my website. Kim nickel.com and sign up for a coaching consult. It can get better.