Welcome to the new manager podcast. I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. I hope you're doing well. I am glad that you're here. And what I want us to dive into today, is this idea of perfection and how it will bite you in the butt. And I want you to be aware of this. One of the things that I notice with my students and clients who are new managers, Is everyone has a very strong desire to do a good job at managing their team, which is a good thing.
But the difficult part sometimes shows up, when I see people, like, I see you wanting to be perfect. And what that turns into is extraordinary, self-judgment it turns into To putting a ton of pressure on yourself and a lot of anxiety and fear about will others. See me, making a mistake. Will I do something wrong. What if I mess up? What if I'm not actually cut out for this? This is more difficult than I thought it would be, or this is difficult in ways.
I didn't realize, it would be and all That ends up undermining the confidence in the value that you have to bring to your organization and to your team. And it's kind of sneaky because remember, the initial intention is really great, right? Like you want to do a good job and you're excited because you're now in this manager role and you've been wanting that for a while and now you're there, but it can twist and become
extraordinary. Ordinarily unhelpful because it will isolate you, which means you won't ask for help. It will prevent you from being very genuine and authentic because you'll be trying to manage your image or what you think other people think about you. So rather than simply saying okay I'm figuring this out and you know, I'm going to need to ask for help as I sort this as I sort this out in. Have doing that you'll pretend or you'll try to hide it and that it just it doesn't work.
And if you've found yourself kind of caught in this conundrum, then you know, it's not, it doesn't really work, but we do it because we are human. So, if that is you right now, I want you to know it is, okay? Like that is such a normal thing to happen. So instead some ways to think about This. And I've talked about this before in a few different ways in this podcast, the episode about the to be list, really gets into this, right?
Like the idea of decide who you want to be, or one word that will ground you in who like who you want to be on this day your being will drive. You're doing. So you don't have to worry about, I have to take all these specific actions if you simply decide, okay? Today I am going to be willing like I'm going to be willing to try things. I'm going to be willing to ask
for help. I'm going to be willing to Simply listen and not take a lot of action until I have a good sense of what the situation is. If you choose that to be list, right? The one word for this one day that you will come back to that, you will be the way that you are will inform the actions. You take what you do. So you don't have to kind of plan this elaborate, you know,
plan of action. And so your creative brain actually becomes more available in the moment to In the most appropriate way it can relieve some of that pressure, because then you're not judging yourself against whether or not you are executing according to your plan that you made, you know, yesterday. Like it just allows you to be in the moment being responsive and receptive and fully engaged with what is really happening in the moment, which is really
valuable. So this idea of when, you know who you want to be right, like the to be list. Also in an earlier episode when we were talking about confidence and decoupling your sense of Confidence from absolute certainty and perfect information, right?
Like there will be times when as a manager you are required to make a decision with imperfect information or Under less-than-ideal circumstances and you will make your best assessment, you will use your discernment and make your your best judgment call on the moment. And as it plays out, you may need to then make another decision because maybe the one that you made didn't actually work out the way you thought it would and that's okay, it
happens, right? But what we want is to be able to very quickly We reassess adapt and move forward. We want you to be able to learn as you go and it's really hard to learn. If you're kind of carrying this heavy baggage of self judgement and anxiety and feeling bad that you're letting people down like it can really get in the way. And so I'm wanting to do, share this with you. And you know, this is also like everything I share here.
Also, learned from personal experience, I have been there, so I want to share this with you to, hopefully offer some perspectives that might help you. So this is our simple key message for today, watch out for perfection. It comes from a place of wanting to help, but it will bite you in the butt and actually prevent you from learning quickly from adopting, quickly from building trust quickly. And so, I wanted to offer that
perspective to you. Also this idea of deciding who you want to be. How are you going to show up? Who do you want to be for your team? Who do you want to be within your organization? Perfection is a lot less valuable than being someone who is learning or being someone who is adding value by bringing your perspective or by doing things in a slightly different way that others would not have realized could be very effective.
Like there are so many different ways that when you let go of perfection, you kind of open the door to all of this other possibility and all of this other value that really becomes something that you own that you bring with you, anywhere you go and this. like, if I had a visual highlighter or like sparkle stickers, I put it around this part of this episode, because Hi, I want you. To know that you can choose. Who you are going to be, what kind of leader?
What kind of manager? What kind of person you are going to be no matter what else is happening around you. So no matter what is happening in your industry, how will you show up for yourself and for your team? No matter what changes happen within your organization, whether it's a leadership change or Merger or, you know, or layoffs, or whatever happens in your organization, can you choose who you want to be no matter what else is happening
around you? When you change organizations, can you stay clear and connected to that? Which is true for you about who you want to be and how you want to show up as a leader in your Industry in your organization. And this last point, I think is so important because I work with so many students. And so many clients over the years and the site this topic of culture, right, like the culture of my organization is like this, therefore, I have to respond in
this way. We can get really wrapped up in needing the culture of our organization to be a certain way. In order for us. To be how we want to be and that gets very fraught. Like, that is not helpful. That becomes very difficult because then what we end up doing is we end up kind of releasing our responsibility for ourselves, which is really where the, the seat of your power sits, right? Like you might have heard me share this perspective before,
which is the most powerful seat. In any organization, like, if you're looking at the org chart and you're trying to decide, where is the power here, the most powerful seat is the one that you are sitting in. Because it is only from your seat that you have any leverage at all that you have any influence at all. So it doesn't really matter if
you are the newest hire. If you are the most senior higher, if you are the most Junior person, if you are the most, you know, seasoned experienced person like wherever you are in the org chart, that is where the most power will be for you. So be mindful if you're noticing that the culture in which your swimming within your organization is not bringing out your best, you want to pay
attention to that. It's really easy to kind of collapse and to, you know, go into coping mode and I have seen this in so many different ways. It's so much easier to develop your coping strategies, then your exit strategy. Geez, because, you know, it's draining in so many dimensions
and so many ways. But what I want us to come back to is this idea that when you are choosing who you want, to be, no matter what the culture of the organization is around, you, that becomes something that brings in more of that confidence that lives in, you know, Matter what else is happening. And it's something that as a coach and as a teacher I love seeing like the this spark of realization in my students, when they realize.
Wow, I can actually decide how I want to show up and who I want to be no matter what else is happening around me like, that is so powerful and it is of such value to your team because when we are, Are as an organization when you are in a challenging situation. I mean, we all want to be able to look to someone in a leadership or manager position and feel a sense of groundedness and calm and confidence. Like okay, no matter what else is going on.
There's a steadiness in them that is not dependent upon outside things. Going a certain way, you know. It's one thing. It's one thing to feel like, yeah, I'm a really great manager. Only when everything is going exactly how I expect it to, but we really really value. And especially all of us now, is knowing that even when things around us in the outside world are unpredictable or unsteady or uncertain or there's a lot of
change happening. When we can look to our manager, our leader, with a sense of trust with a sense that okay? Like they have confidence in who they are and who they are here to be that allows us all to do, better work to sleep better at night, to work more. Collaboratively and creatively with one another, that improves things in so many Ways and what's really nice is that it's always available to you, it's
always an option. So remember a few moments ago, I was talking about how you might make a decision and then realize you need to make another one because the one you made is not going to get you to the to what it is that you need. This also applies to how we show up. So as a human, we have a lot of range, sometimes we have a lot of patience, sometimes we don't sometimes we're feeling very confident, sometimes are. Insecurities flare-up it's all
fine. Again. Remember Perfection is not the goal remembering who you want to be and then choosing to show up in that way asking. What would I do? What would I choose if I was going to be connected to my sense of purpose today or to my desire to uplift and support others today, or my desire to contribute. In a meaningful way. Today, all of that will really change the way that you show up as a manager for your team and also for yourself.
So, take all of that Cimarron, it listen to this episode. Again, if you need to be covered a lot in a very short period of time, and I hope that you enjoy and get great use out of this in your work life. Thanks so much. I'll talk to you. Next time. Do you want personal confidential help with your situation at work. I offer one-on-one coaching and can help you overcome challenges reach your goals and become a more effective leader to schedule a consult.
Go to my website, Kim nickel.com coaching and we'll schedule time to talk about what's going on with you and how I can help talk to you soon.