159. Why Self-Awareness will make you a better Communicator and a more Effective Manager. - podcast episode cover

159. Why Self-Awareness will make you a better Communicator and a more Effective Manager.

Feb 26, 202412 minEp. 161
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Episode description

Becoming a better communicator and more effective manager means being less reactive and more intentional. How do you do that? Start by growing your self-awareness. When you slow down, step back, and see your own habits and preferences, you will be able to bring more intention to how you communicate. Instead of simply operating by default and being reactive, you become more deliberate and intentional. Let's discuss! After the episode: I'm taking new clients. To talk with me about your goals, challenges, and how 1:1 coaching with me can help, book a time here: https://calendly.com/kimnicol/consultation Get on the Wait List to hear about workshops and the next group program: https://kimnicol.com/newmanagers/

Transcript

Welcome to the New Manager Podcast. I'm your host Kim Nickel. Hello and welcome. I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well for me today. I am a little bit congested. I don't know if you can hear it, but it is now, that time of year when the cherry blossoms and the plum blossoms are blooming. They are beautiful, but also it activates my allergies. And so I'm a little congested

not feeling super great. But you know, that's part of being a human, is having a human body that responds to different changes over the course of the year. And it actually made me think about one of the fundamental things when I was first teaching my essential skills for new managers class back in 2017. The two parts of that class, The first one is self-awareness. The second one was

communication. And the reason self-awareness is so necessary when you want to manage people effectively is because the more you become aware of yourself, your own preferences, your particular strengths, even noticing. What do you do when you feel under the weather? Are you the kind of person that retreats? Are you the kind of person that goes into grumpy kitten mode? Are you the kind of person who powers through?

Are you the kind of person who gets irritable and just takes it out on everyone else because you're having a hard time? When you understand what you do as a human, what your preferences are, how you tend to operate best, when you understand that for yourself, you then begin to realize, oh, not every human is like me, and you start to understand. If you want to manage other humans effectively, then it becomes helpful to think about it from that perspective.

Of course people will have different preferences and different priorities, and people will deal with stress differently. People will deal with physical discomfort differently. And so the more you start to grow your own self-awareness, the more you start to realize, oh right, I can't manage my team the way I would like to be

managed. I need to be effective by understanding what some of the differences and the nuances are, and as you start expanding your perspective, you will begin to find what it looks like to be more effective managing the specific people in the specific organization that you find yourself in. And that will change also over time. You might start in a small organization and as it grows you realize, wow, this is not the same company that I started in. The company has changed.

It also happens if you're working in a large organization. Maybe there is a reorg or a, you know, some kind of big internal shake up and you realize, wow, I'm having to do so much more with fewer resources, with maybe less people, things will change.

And so the more that you have this ability to notice for yourself how are you in your own relationship with your experience and your perspectives and understanding your preferences, The better able you will be to then make decisions with the understanding of how the team and the the context you're working in varies for yourself as well.

When you understand more about how you work and how you work well, then you can begin to not only make decisions, but also make requests and communicate with others so that they know. That's where the communication part comes in. What are you saying and how and to whom and when? And instead of doing all of this from a default reactive position, now we start to think more strategically, more deliberately, and bring more intentionality into the way that

you do this. You know, I used to always tell my students that you already have great communication skills because you have survived to adulthood and it is not possible to live into adulthood unless you also develop some very effective communication skills, because that is how we survive living and working and just being on the planet with other

humans. You know, I've often thought when people talk about how humans evolved to survive and you'll hear them say, you know, oh, we had to survive the the lions and the tigers and the Saber toothed tigers. We had to develop these really keen skills in order to survive them. My personal perspective is I don't think it was the other kind of creatures. I think we developed all these skills in order to effectively

survive each other. I think that we really evolved, you know, to communicate and cooperate, to learn how to work with other humans. And so, you know now in the workplace and in and in our lives, you have developed great communication skills. Please give yourself a full credit for that. You had to observe how do these humans operate? How can I be effective in communicating with them so that your needs get met.

You figured all of that out, most of it, without even consciously making decisions about it. You you're just like wired. You're just built for communication and collaboration and cooperation and learning how to work with other humans. But then as we grow into our roles at, you know, when you become a leader, when you become a manager, now we want to become more intentional and more skillful in the way that you communicate.

So not just from default, but being more intentional, doing more communication by design and with a sense of purpose so that you are clear about what you're communicating and why. What is the effect you want to have and how will you attempt to do that? What's really interesting too is, you know, you'll see this especially if you're changing organizations. So going from a big company to a small company, maybe going from public sector to private sector,

maybe changing industries. So, you know, part of my background is in the legal profession. And there are different norms, like different communication norms, different professional, cultural norms in, you know, in that profession compared to, for example, you know, my my brother and sister-in-law are both teachers. And they, you know, they work in a school, they work with little

kids. They work with the parents, the cultural norms and the professional communication norms in working with their students, their professional colleagues, the parents of their students is different, right? And so for you, you know when you're thinking about communication, we want to consider that bigger perspective, that context. And if you've recently changed companies or changed industries or you know, change your work environment, then you know like you have a tacit understanding

that this is a real thing. So that is the short of what I wanted to share with you, just bringing some more light and attention to the value of self-awareness, how that sets you up to then communicate more intentionally and more effectively. I am going to keep this episode a little bit short so that you don't have to listen to me being

congested in your ear today. But you know, like it's such a good reminder you are a human, you have a body, take care of it. And when you have people on your team, they have physical bodies too. And when they're not feeling good, it might show up in some interesting ways. You might have the team member who retreats and just buckles down. You might have the team member who loudly complaints about

their discomfort to everybody. You might have the person who takes it out on everyone like they're not feeling good and instead of taking care of themselves and managing it, they just kind of lash out because that's just what works for them. So it it starts to get really interesting when we shift the way that we look at ourselves and the people that we work with. As I start to wrap today, a couple of announcements I want to share with you.

One is that I am taking new clients and if you want to talk with me about working together, if you want that one-on-one support and time every week to really kind of pull back out of the weeds and take a higher level perspective on your leadership style, your career growth, and you know kind of what you want for your work in your life, then coaching is a really good option for that. And the way to get started is to book time to talk with me on a consultation.

It's free, you'll find a link on my website, kimnicholl.com, or you can go into the show notes and I'll put a link to my calendar there. So if you can find a time for us to talk and I'll tell you more about how it works and learn more about what you want to get out of it and we'll make a plan

for that. The other two things to know is that if you happen to be in California, in the Bay Area this coming Thursday, I will be at the California Conference for Women. It's on Thursday, February 29th at the Santa Clara Convention Center and I will be there. And not only will I be there, but there will be a number of coaches offering free career coaching, leadership coaching, life coaching and I will be one of those coaches.

So you can not only just come say hi, but we can actually do a little bit of free coaching during that conference.

So I know that you know, you're, you might be listening from far, far away, but in case you happen to be attending this conference, find me, come say hi. And then the last announcement is that in two weeks I will be at the Transform Conference in Las Vegas. I'll be there March 11th through 13. I haven't been to this conference before, but I'm really excited about it because it from what I can tell, it's going to be a lots of conversations about how do we transform the workplace, how do

we transform the way that we support career growth and learning and culture and the way that we work together, can we work Better Together? And I'm really looking forward to having a lot of conversations around that. So come if you're coming to that then let me know cuz we should definitely meet up. It would be so cool to meet in person at this conference where we're learning and talking all about the workplace. So that's coming up.

That is March 11th through 13th in Las Vegas and that that is it for me today. I hope that you're having a great day. Thanks for listening and I will talk to you next time. When you're more effective at work, you're happier in your life, and when you're happier in your life, you're more effective at work. I can help. Go to my website, kimnickel.com and sign up for a coaching consult. It can get better.

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