Welcome to the New Manager Podcast. I'm your host, Kim Nickel. Hello and welcome. I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well. I want to start today's episode with a shout out to you my listeners. And especially I'm seeing an uptick in the number of listeners from Canada. So hello to my listeners in Canada. If you are new, welcome. And here's a fun fact is I get to see a little bit of where you all are.
It doesn't give me very granular data and I think it only tracks it for my Spotify listeners because of the way that this show is published. So I think I'm not able to see how it is for my Apple podcast listeners, but here's some fun things that I have learned about my listening audience, including you. So one is that of my listeners in Canada, most of you are in Ontario, followed by Quebec, British Columbia and Alberta. I love that.
I love the range. I love knowing that you're here and listening in the US, which is currently my largest audience. No surprise since I'm based here. So a lot of folks that I know are also in the US But fun fact, the top four states in the US where my listeners are are California, followed by Texas and then New York and Florida. Isn't that cool? What a broad range. And then I also see a little bit, I know from my listeners in the UK, Hello to all of you.
The most number of my listeners in the UK are in England, followed by Scotland and Wales. So shout out and hello to all of you. And I know that I also have listeners in other countries as well.
So you know I'm, I'm including you also in in the Wave and in the Hello. And one of the reasons I really like that and why it seems it feels so meaningful to me is because I really think about the challenges that we have in the workplace when we are managing people, when we are stepping up into new levels of leadership and thinking about how do I do this effectively and how do I do this in a way that feels good.
You know, not just for, you know, for you as the person, but also the sense of can I make our work experience something that people want to be a part of. And what I love about this is, you know, that's kind of my philosophy and how I think about this show and and why I really like having these conversations that I can share with you. But I feel like it really points to how universal so many of these challenges are, because they're about humans and they're about relationships.
So on one level, it doesn't really matter where in the world you are. You will encounter some very familiar and common and universal dynamics and challenges when it comes to effectively working with, managing and leading the other humans that you work with. I love that because that also means that we can then learn from so many different areas of life and of the world.
We can learn and gain insight and perspective from all over, not just in your organization, not just in your town or your country or even in your industry. There are things that you can learn by looking to other industries, other places, other kinds of organizations that can help how you think about what it means to, you know, be a human centered leader and to manage effectively. And that includes working in a way that is sustainable for you.
So while many of the specific individual challenges can sometimes feel very isolating, the big picture is that, you know, we're all asking very similar questions no matter where you are in the world and no matter what industry you're in. It's been really interesting for me since I started this podcast. The very first episodes were released, I think back in late 2019, and at the time I was working primarily in California and teaching in person.
So I was teaching people who were also in California. And one of the things I've really loved is that over the years I've had the opportunity to talk with and meet so many other folks because of this podcast that have reached out to me for one-on-one coaching or that have reached out to me to tell me how the podcast has helped them.
And it's really illuminated how much the challenges that will arise are not specific to where you are, the industry you work in or even the size of the organization. If you work in a very small agency or a very small company or you work in a very global enterprise, Oregon, a very large organization, it's so fascinating how some of the challenges are still the same. They might take a slightly
different shape. You might have different resources or you might have different ways that your, you know, organization is organized. But when it comes to how do we work together as humans and how do we do that? Well, it truly is a very common connection that we all have. So I thought that was pretty cool. I wanted to share that thought with you too.
Now, the main thing I want to talk with you today is this framework that I have been using more in my coaching practice and I've been seeing some really great results with my clients and so I wanted to share this with you. This is the kind of thing I love to teach because it's it's very lightweight, meaning it's a simple framework. It's something that doesn't take a lot of thought to understand.
It's very easy to understand. It's a very simple framework and it is very effective, very quickly. Which is great, right? Because we want to equip you with things you can use when you walk into the office next, and that will help you immediately. You know, when I first started teaching essential skills for new managers, the class was only an hour and a half, and sometimes people would leave work, come to class and then go back to work.
And so my goal was what can I teach you in 90 minutes? That you will be able to walk back into the office at the end of this class and use this in a way that makes a measurable and real positive difference for you. That was that was my thinking of how I was trying to design that class. And so today I have something for you that would definitely meet that standard if we were all in the room together and I was going to teach you something. This is the thing I want to
teach you. So you're going to want to use this. This is a framework.
It's going to basically become a sentence structure and you will use it when you are feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed out, anxious, like anytime you're starting to feel somewhat overcome or just like very activated and you kind of don't know what to do with it. And it goes like this even though and then you say whatever is true or whatever is happening for you even though and then you add it's possible that or I know that or I'm committed to or it's also true that.
So let me give you an example. I had a a couple of coaching conversations around schedules in the last couple of weeks. There's a lot of stuff happening on people's schedules. And so I had a client who is sharing how she was feeling really guilty. And whatever she chose to spend her time on, she felt guilty like she wasn't spending enough time on the other thing. And so she felt really trapped in this guilt place because she could only put so many things on
her calendar. So the way that we addressed that, like one of the places we started was with this framework. And she said, even though I can't do everything I want to, you know, in this day, I know that I'm choosing to focus my attention on these things For these reasons. And what this does, when you take this framework and you apply it into your life, is that the first part of it? Even though that allows you to truly acknowledge and accept how you're feeling or what is going on, right?
So it might be even though the budget is not established, or even though there's lots of uncertainty around whether we will have this budget or not by the state, You name it, you face it, you accept it, you acknowledge it. Even though this is so, it's possible that fill in the blank. I'm committed to fill in the blank.
And So what this does is it allows you to really turn to and face a thing that feels really true and perhaps unchangeable or impenetrable, like a tangled knot that you can't find a way to untangle. Yet. All we do first is we face it, we acknowledge it, and we name it. That allows us to soften a
little bit. Instead of feeling like we have to armor up and like go in and try to change it and wrestle it to the ground and try to make it different, we just turn to it and say, wow, even though I'm feeling this or even though this is happening right now, the next part, it's possible or I know that, or I'm committed to, or it's also true that then becomes the bridge that directs your thinking in the direction that will help you through that stuck point.
And the reason this matters is because what we often tend to do when things get really hard is we either become completely consumed by the challenge of it and that can really sink our energy and we can feel stuck and really mired in like an unsolvable problem or an overwhelming challenge. And it feels terrible. And we might even try to resist it or just think, if I if I only work harder, maybe I can, you know, somehow find a way through this.
But it softens that when we simply acknowledge, like even though this is true, or even though this is how I'm feeling or even though this is what's happening right now. We soften when we acknowledge and accept it, and then we help guide our thinking by building this bridge of what else is also possible or what else do you know, Where else do you have certainty? And that will both create a sense of grounding in something that feels true and that feels
good and that feels supportive. And it will point you to, you know, there, there might be something that is helpful even even still, even though, right? So use this, Think about this. Think of a sticky problem or a sticky situation that you're facing, or even just an emotion. Like, you might just feel kind of, you know, kind of crispy, like a little bit near the edge
of burnout. You might be feeling really fatigued or just emotionally drained for, you know, something that's happening in your life or something that's happening in the world that is having an effect on you. So you might say to yourself, even though I'm feeling so exhausted, I know that I am committed to doing the best I can with the resources that I have. Or it might be, even though I'm feeling a little burned out. It's also true that I can make some plans and changes that will
help me down the line. It's also possible that maybe I'm I need to learn how to get better at my boundaries, right? Like, it helps us to expand our perspective. So we're seeing not just the problem that feels really sticky and unsolvable, but it's helping us to see beyond that. And that will help us to feel more resourced, to feel more supported, to feel more connected, to feel less alone.
And all of that is such a better place to be when you're trying to address something difficult or when you're trying to find a path through something that might feel kind of scary or uncertain. So that's the framework even though and then you say the thing that seems true or that is just happening and then the second part of that framework, it's possible or I also know that or I am committed to or you know, it's also true. It allows us to meet life with
the. Yes. And this is one of the things I love about mindfulness and why it's such a part of the way that I work with folks and it's really informed. The way that I teach and see what leadership and management in the workplace looks like is that there will be plenty of times where there may be something happening that is genuinely just draining or extreme or difficult or totally like just like not good, right? Like something is happening that it just feels not good.
And we don't want to turn away from that. We don't want to ignore it. We don't want to just, you know, push through. We want to actually slow down to acknowledge this is the experience that we're having. And we also want to expand and include a broader perspective, because something that I know for sure to be true is that every day of your life there will be challenges. And every day of your life, there are also going to be things that are going your way. There are also going to be
things that are going well. And I think sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that. And part of mindfulness is that skill, that willingness to turn and face both, so that we're not becoming completely consumed or overwhelmed by the challenges and the difficulties and the uncertainty. We don't want to get lost in that. And we also don't want to ignore all of that and only try to hold onto the things that are going well, the things that are going
your way, The big wins. Like, we don't want to try to cling, to look only upon the positive. That's kind of when we drift into the realm of, like, denial or toxic positivity. Like we're not trying to force a particular attitude or posture, but instead with mindfulness it allows us to acknowledge and kind of hold an expansive view.
That includes knowing that even when things are difficult, there are some things that are still going well or that are possible or that are unwritten yet that we can influence. And when things are going well, we can sometimes learn from that what is going well and how can I use this to also then look to the challenges that I want to help change or move through.
So my hope is that as you go into your work day, as you go into your work week, find opportunities to try this on this sentence framework and see what happens when you do even though. And then you just state and accept and acknowledge the thing that is happening, and then build a bridge that directs your attention to a path beyond that challenge. What else is possible? What else do you know? What else are you committed to? What else might be true? Even when you know, even though.
So try that out again. As I mentioned, it's really lightweight. Try it. See what happens, and hey, you can always let me know. You can find me on LinkedIn. If you're not following me there, go there. If you're not on my e-mail list, be sure to do that because I will be sending out some news about the next group program and I want to make sure that you get all that info as soon as it goes out. And if you would like to work with me one-on-one, I invite you
to schedule a consult. The consultation is free and it gives us time to connect one-on-one to take a look at what are the challenges you're facing, what is it that you want to get or change, and then I'll break down how I can help you to do that. Sometimes it's just easier to have a thought partner, especially when you start rising up into new levels of responsibility, and I live for that. I love it and I would love to
help. So you will find all the links you need into the show notes below. Or just go to my website kimnickel.com and you will find everything that you need there too. All right. Thanks for listening and have a great week. When you're more effective at work, you're happier in your life. And when you're happier in your life, you're more effective at work. I can help. Go to my website, kimnickel.com and sign up for a coaching consult. It can get better.