Welcome to the new manager podcast. I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hello and welcome. I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well. I want to remind you that being a human is not always easy. And in the workplace we then also have to work with other humans who have their own challenges, and stories and preferences and sometimes our communication Styles, don't always line up or the priorities or motivations.
Or the just the things that are happening for us, as individuals can create a feeling of friction or challenge when we are all working together. I just want to remind you, that that is normal and that's part of the challenge that begins to really get clear when you become a manager and are stepping into more of a leadership role. Have some Grace for yourself, have some Grace for the humans that you work with.
And realize that the skill of learning how to work well together, and how to grow your mindset and your communication abilities. These are all learnable things and you are good at learning. If that was not true. You would not have survived to adulthood and because you are listening to this podcast. I know for a fact that you are good at learning things. Okay. I also wanted to give a shout out to one of my listeners who found me online. LinkedIn.
And then sent me this really sweet note and said that they recently applied for a manager's role within their current company and will have an interview soon. Some of the fears I'm feeling your podcast is helping me overcome if selected. This will be my first time being a manager and I will be managing employees older than me, it will be a challenge, but I will be great.
And that made my heart feels so good because that's so much of what it's about is you will meet challenges and you will be great. Not perfect, right? Perfect doesn't actually exist but the mindset and the perspective that you bring to a new challenge is everything. It will change the way that you show up the way you're able to influence others and facilitate. Ang and helped lead people into working while together so much of it is around the mindset.
That is then driving the skills and the behaviors. And what I often see is when we start to feel afraid, we hold back. Rather than using that fear as a way to acknowledge, oh, something new is happening. I need to pay attention because this might be a bit unfamiliar. So let's just use that as a signal. That something new is happening and this is normal. And for today's episode, I wanted to share with you the audio of the most recent office hours that I hosted it was a
free call. If you're on my email list, you got the invitation. If you're not on my email list, go to my website, Kim nickel.com and then go to the new managers page, you'll get on to the emailing list that is super focused on the workplace. And To manage well. And in this last call, I did a breakdown of how to approach your work to ask that they pay for your professional development. This is something that I love to teach. I've talked about it.
A few times on the podcast, but I wanted to share with you the audio from this teaching because it is so applicable and relevant especially at this time of year. So it's still January. We're Being about what are the professional development goals for this year for yourself? And for the work that you do, what is the professional development budget look like. And even if you don't have a formal budget, some companies, don't some organizations. It's a little bit more ad.
Hoc, it's more like if you request it, your manager might have the discretion to allocate dollars for that particular purpose. I wanted to share with you. The framework that I have used to help my students and my clients ask for things and have their organizations pay for it. And this is worked with everything from a thirty-six dollar Workshop to a five thousand dollar coaching package. It has worked in nonprofits and
government agencies. It has worked in big Enterprises organizations with global Workforce and it's worked in really small. Ups. And as you listen, I'll tell you why, this is so effective. And so that is what I wanted to share with you today. Especially because right now, I am offering a group program where you can work with me directly in a group setting for 12 weeks and the focus will be around communication skills.
So if you want to learn how to have uncomfortable conversations and you want to learn to be more direct and you want to get through. Some of those internal obstacles that fear that hesitation, you want to feel more confident in the way that you communicate in all situations. Then that is a program that you need to come and join and be a part of because that's what we're focusing on.
And if you imagine even getting 5% better, if you become five percent more confident, in the way that you communicate at work and your anxiety about it goes down. Five percent that adds up and makes a really big difference in your personal life, your home life and also in your work life. So without further Ado, here is that episode get ready to take notes and I'll see you soon. Hey, welcome everyone.
This is my third office hours and today I wanted to talk about how to advocate for yourself at work. It's something I've talked about before but especially it's come up very recently around, how do we do that? Especially if you want to ask your work to pay for professional development, both one-on-one coaching, I offer. And I'm also offering now a group program and I'll put The details for that into the chat in part because there are so
many ways to learn. I am a huge fan of learning together and I am now at a place where I have the ability and schedule to offer something groupwise. So I'll talk more about that in a moment but just for now you have the link into the details and with self-advocacy, that's really A about how do we speak up on behalf of our selves and we do that in small ways and big ways all the time small ways.
When we speak up for ourselves that can look like establishing boundaries around, our availability, it can look like making requests for things that we want that will support us, whether it's professional development, whether it's a promotion, whether it is some kind of external resource or
extra time. The ability and the willingness to speak up is something that I cannot stress enough is just like a valuable life skill and super necessary at work, especially as you rise into higher levels of responsibility. I also have this very sophisticated chart right over here. But I wanted to show you because what I find is a lot of folks come to me initially and they've got a lot of questions and it tends to show up as some kind of form of Self Doubt. Or uncertainty.
There's often I find with the folks who are drawn to me a feeling of like I really want to do a good job but I'm worried about X Y and Z either. I'm worried about you know like not being seen as a team player or I'm worried about doing it wrong or I'm worried about. If I say something to this person what will they say? And then I have to replay the you know imaginary conversation over and over again.
And All of that starts to get really heavy and starts to hold us back in the way that we enjoy and experience being at work. So what we do is we start with where you are and then we move you to a place where you feel a lot more trust in yourself so that you're making decisions from a place of really stable Solid Ground. And for a lot of us when we first start Rising into higher levels of responsibility, it can feel weird because now it's like I'm doing things that I've never
exactly done before. But I'm also feeling kind of more exposed like because yours more, visibility more people looking to you to know things to have answers to make decisions. And then there's a lot of other personalities that we start to have to navigate as we start to go up. And I find to with a lot of organizations, is just difficult to support new managers at those early stages, like for a lot of reasons. But I see this in every industry, so I think it's kind of a universal thing.
So, Anyway that's sort of a little bit of basically the work that I'm doing and with the group program, it's going to be around. How do we get from the place of uncertainty especially around communication skills, especially around having tough conversations to get you to a place where you're not as much in avoidance and fear and kind of overwhelm and worry and are actually feeling more grounded about the decisions you're making even if like you've never done it before. Right.
So with all of that said, I want to share Some perspective with you, this is from a workshop. I did late last year around self-advocacy and you already know these things about me but I'm a coach and that I host the new manager podcast and this idea of you don't get what you don't ask for is one that I see come up a lot that people will talk about and kind of a casual way, but there are so many reasons why we don't ask for
things. And especially like, so speaking, you know for myself personally my mom is from the Philippines. My dad is from the Midwest. They met, you know, in Manila like many many years ago and then came to the US, but from my mom's side and kind of like the Immigrant experience. There's such a message that I grew up with of like you just have to make do Right, like don't ask just make, do you know?
And I think for a lot of us to there might be a feeling of, you know, I don't want to bother people. So I'm not going to ask or I said, I should just figure it out on myself. I'm not going to ask and yet the ability to ask for what you need, and what you want is really important because when you're also in a manager role, sometimes your job will be to advocate for to speak up on behalf of other people. That's your team or the customer
or the client or an idea. So advocacy is the skill of speaking up on behalf of somebody self-advocacy, is when you speak up for yourself and the Studies have shown to you for a lot of folks, especially women much easier to speak up for others, but really reluctant to speak up for yourself, which I think is, interesting, right? Like, can be Be comfortable to speak up for somebody else but not so much for oneself.
So what I want to share with you is this idea that a small change comes from like a small shift, can create a big change. And so when we learn more about self-advocacy and how to speak up and ask for what you want, we start with the small things so that you feel prepared for the big things. And this is often counterintuitive because folks, sometimes think All the Small Things don't matter that much.
Much. But that's the perfect time to start practicing the skill of speaking up and asking for what you need, because the ultimate goal is that we want you to become a person who can speak up for yourself when you want to. So it feels like it's a choice rather than like you have no options or you have options but you don't like them at, all right? We want it to be strategic and intentional. Annal, when you're able to speak
up for yourself. So we're going to start with something low risk, high value and that's professional development. That is because what, you know, most organizations already understand about professional development, some of them, you know, just don't have a lot of internal resources but it's a conversation that's already happening. So one thing to think about is that there might already be budget set aside for this And if that's true then the money needs to be allocated for that
purpose. If it isn't, that's a problem. Like, you know this, if you've ever had responsibility for a budget, the budget is set with a certain amount of money for a certain kind of thing. And if it doesn't get used for that, kind of thing that can actually be problematic. I've also encountered organizations where there wasn't a formal, professional development budget, but a manager had discretion Canary budget available that they then allocated to someone's professional development.
The other thing is to realize that your manager or your work, they might be delighted that you thought about this and are taking the initiative because it's one less thing for them to do. You're helping them back when I was in manager, I had like 18, direct reports. I could not keep track of all of their professional development needs. So someone came to me and said, hey, there's this course, I want to take or there's this resource that I want, you know, here's how it works.
This is it costs, what can we do? It would be such an easier conversation for me to have because they were initiating it and really kind of taking the lead and kind of demonstrating that they were really engaged and taking full responsibility for how they were guiding their own Career Development, which is great. I think that's a thing to you. That sometimes we miss is, we think, oh, if I'm asking for something, it must mean something bad about me. Like, I can't handle things.
On my own. And what I consider thinking instead is the perspective of, oh, I am being a leader by identifying, you know, an area of development, identifying a resource. And then being very proactive about saying, okay, like this is the resource that will help me get to you know, get this skill or get this, you know advancement. Like that's a good thing, it's not like, oh so sorry, I'm not like good enough. It's like, oh no, like All right, like let's handle this.
You know, here's how we're going to do it very different perspective. And then, the other nice thing is when you think about coming to your organization or manager with a request, make it easy for them to say yes. And you'll do that by thinking about, you know, what do you think they care most about? How does your request aligned with the team goals or with the organizational goals?
So if you're, you know, if you think your manager is going to be worried about how much time will this take. Then you want to think about how will this actually end up. Saving time, I had one student who wanted to do a group program with me and she went to her boss and her boss says how much time will this take? And she said, are you kidding
me? This is going to save us so much time down the road because when I learned how to do this, as we grow and onboard more people, I will be able to get them up to speed so much faster. He's like, oh, you're right great. Let's do it. It so think about how what you want to ask for aligns with what the decision maker wants. And also kind of what the bigger
picture goals are. That's also part of being strategic, in your thinking, which is how I look at the big picture and how all these different things are connected and then how to think about yourself when you're making an ask. So as I was just saying, you want to see yourself as being proactive, you're taking responsibility, you're presenting in a well-thought-out solution, these are good things. This is not about like why should I should already know this?
No, no, that's that's not the mindset to bring into that situation and conversation. Realized you, you're signaling your ambition and desire for growth again. This is a good thing to say that. Hey, I'm thinking about how I need to grow. What I want to be able to do, this is going to help me get there, faster. That's a good thing. And realize that you benefit no matter what they say. So sometimes I have my students or clients will tell me.
I didn't want to ask because I'm afraid they would. They would say no and I didn't, I thought I don't want to feel bad if they said no. But what's incredible is that just by speaking up, you benefit in at least two ways? So number one, you benefit by becoming the person Who can speak up with confidence and the other way that you benefit is you learn something about your manager, and the workplace based
on how they respond. Because again, kind of big picture thinking, I like to think of your work is a where it's a, where you are and you want to be deciding, is this still where I want to be? Is this the environment are the ecosystem that I see? Still want to be in, I want to
understand kind of where am I? And this will give you some information so that you can think about your own future and your own desire for what you want next kind of as a side note to just you might have also been seeing.
There are a lot of layoffs happening in the tech industry right now and it's always this reminder of oh right like our work life is always at. Temporary part of our life and sometimes we get to decide when we and sometimes we don't, but when you think about what you want, while you're there, like, what will that look like? How will that go?
It's a good thing to have some information about Okay, so here's what this looks like in terms of the road map, when you're asking for professional development. First, you want to get clear about the, what, what are you going to be asking for? So start by making a list of all of the things that interest, you courses, conferences, coaching, programs, books, whatever it can be everything from like a thirty, five dollar, you know, online course to like a 36
hundred dollar. All Conference thing like get the whole range then you want to decide why? So from the what's you choose the why connect the thing you want with the skills? You'll develop and why it matters for their for your job, for your growth, for your team, or company Mission. And do not expect this to be obvious to your manager, because even if it is obvious to them, they still want to see that, you thought it through and that you have a plan that you're being strategic about it.
So first, all the different, what's then choose something and explore, and get clear about the, why why this thing as opposed to something else. This is also a great like sometimes because I sell so much one-on-one coaching, people will say, oh you know my I wanted to do one-on-one coaching and my manager was like oh why not just take a, you know, a course. So you want to think through? Why would you want one-on-one
coaching as opposed to a course? And some of the things people come up with do this, like these cook em. You mean our friend and some of the things people come up with is, oh well I want individual attention. I want to have like someone that I'm engaging with as I go as opposed to kind of doing a passive consumption kind of thing, you know, when you think through what you want and why, then you Can articulate it to them so that they can see it as
well. Right now, as I mentioned earlier, I have one-on-one coaching but I'm also now opening up a group. So the difference might be around like price. So for some folks, the group program will fit more easily and the professional development budget that they have available for some others. It's going to be more like I want a group learning experience where it's not just me. But I'm also meeting other people who Are also new managers so that I can learn in more of a
community environment. The other thing is that coaching with me, one on one right now is six months with, so that's like a good chunk of time. And for people who love that, it's the best thing ever. And for some folks, they're just like I just need 12 weeks focused on communication skills and that's it. So it's a question of scope. What is the scope for the Learning and Development that
you want? Then finally, once we're clear on the what and the, why then you want to think about the when when will I bring this conversation to my manager or to my HR business partner? For example, you might bring it up at the start or the end of a specific month or a quarter. You might bring it up at performance review season. But plan it in advance, I have one client who's working with me now and she's like, I seated this with my manager.
Six months ago, she started talking with her manager about wanting to work with a coach about why she wanted it saying. You know, I don't want it right now, but that's something I'm thinking about. I'm going to do some research and she just initiated the conversation and started the planning way in advance. And now we're working together,
which is pretty cool. And the actual fun kind of bonus thing of that is when she brought the proposal to her manager, her manager said, oh wait, does this lady also work with groups? Groups, because I've been looking for someone who can do a communication skills Workshop, you know, for our whole team and she's like, I don't know, go
talk to her. So he was thrilled that his team member had introduced him to me because he had actually been thinking about, oh, well, we need someone to help the team with this particular skill set. So realize that when you're speaking up for yourself there are other people that benefit not just you my other Sorry around.
This is years ago. I had a client come to me and she went to, you know, wanted to work with me and she went to her manager and her manager was a very small start-up, right? So they didn't even have an HR person. It was very informal and she said, yeah, there's this coach that I want to work with it cost this much, you know, can what do you think? Can we do this? And her manager was like, yeah, okay, that sounds great. Like I'm sold, do it. And then she said, wait a
minute. We should also be thinking about what is our policy? As a company for Learning and Development. We're at the stage now where we should actually have a policy that affects everybody. Not just me. So instead of just sort of saying oh great like let's do it, she initiated a conversation and as a result the company decided that they were going to allocate I think was like a thousand dollars for as a learning stipend for everyone in the company.
That makes me excited. That feels so good. When you start to learn how to feel comfortable, speaking up for yourself, there are so many ways that it can benefit others. So this is why it works. I've seen this work in startups, I've seen this work in large organizations, I've seen this work in philanthropy organizations, like so many different kinds of situations. And the reason it works is because you're bringing a solution. You're coming from this. I'm on the same team mindset.
This is also really different. You know, if you think for a lot of us the first experience we had of asking for things was when we were little kids and we were asking for a grown-up, somebody who had a lot more power and a lot more discretion to just say yes or no. And so when we start advocating for ourselves as adults, sometimes we still feel like little kids inside like, oh, I don't Want to ask, you know, because they might say no we still feel like this little kid
rather than the mindset of hey we're on the same team, here's what I'd like to have happen. What do you think? What can we do? How do we make this work much more collaborative and much more kind of even levels and because of this approach, you're going to make it easy for them to feel good about saying yes. Such a subtle thing, but it makes such a big difference. So I want to start to land us with this thought to it's okay to want things.
The smallest part of you is worthy of being cared for and valued and that's what you're doing. When you're speaking up on behalf of yourself, it's an act of self recognition of holding your own desires with, like a sense of worth. Value and seeing what you can do in order to take care of that. So self-advocacy is a skill, it's both, you know, a mindset. It's also a communication skill in the way that you do it. And what's nice is that?
Because it's a skill. It's something you can learn and get better at. And with every skill, there's kind of the technical part of it, like the Frameworks and strategies, but then there's the human part of it, which is our own Here's our own self, doubt our own hesitation and that's where with the coaching that I offer. It's a lot about. How can we understand the mindset that will allow you to, then move forward and taking the action. This is also, what helps us
bridge the gap between? I know I need to but I just don't want to because I feel too uncomfortable about it. We can have all the knowledge in the world but if we're not in a mindset that lets us move, All right, with that knowledge. Then it just kind of sits there. So that is what I wanted to share today with respect to self-advocacy and the workplace and how we speak up for ourselves.
And some of the reasons why we don't, I think that if you've ever heard that phrase, what got you here, won't get you there that starts to become really Vivid when we rise. In two levels of leadership and management. Because for a lot of us what works really well when we're individual contributors is being really good at executing things being really skillful in a specific function of the thing we're good at. But then once you're managing
people, it's a different job. You're now managing personalities, you're managing attention. You're having to make decisions around resources that not. We'll be happy with it's so hard. If you have a part of your heart that is just like I want everyone to feel good and be happy.
The core of that is really great but that then can really bind you up when you are rising into levels where you might need to make decisions or have conversations or give feedback, that might be hard for somebody else to hear. So learning how to deal with all of. Those emotions, both your own and the emotions of others becomes a really important skill to develop and have and I say Dana had to hop out, awesome, super good to see her.
Okay? So I want to pause now that was a lot of information and it was kind of a lot very quickly, but I want to just check in and see what questions or thoughts. Anybody has either on this topic or anything else? It's like very, very open guidelines here on what you want to ask about. What's coming up? Oh I see Dana's putting in her ear buds. Hi But you're still on mute, though. Sorry. Well, well, will get it
eventually, right? I was going to give other people a chance to chime in but you know, part of why I love you is that everything that you say resonates with me like to some degree when I. So you sent out an email about joining the group sessions, the group, peer sessions for new managers and I was super excited about that and then I remembered that you did 10. One coaching. And so, you know, I reached out and I said, hey, Will how much
does that cost? Because maybe that's a more a better option for me. It was a little, probably a little bit out of our wheelhouse in terms of price, but the group, one seemed great. And so, but before I was like, hmm, really scared and really nervous to bring this to my CEO. He's a very supportive and receptive to everything I want to do, but because I had had an issue with a previous person, that's directly reported to me. Person has since left.
I'm now, starting over with a new person and I'm not very confrontational, I'm not very direct all the time and, you know, yesterday or Wednesday, I had mentioned some things I had happened and I was like, this would be great, but I started second-guessing myself. The fact that like, I should be able to do this without having, like, without having a support or without having this network, or having to take a course or
whatever happens, you do that. And then I just said, Screw it and asked him anyway and he was very supportive about it will see that they can find the money for it. But it's just that like self-doubt that like you think you should know it and a lot of people just fumble through life and they don't have these resources, so it's kind of great when you do. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that and I'm so glad that you asked for what you wanted and that you spoke up.
And I think it is really true like especially what you just said around. Like, for a lot of us, we can kind of stumble around on our own and we can actually do really well like that strategy works for a lot of things for a long time, but it's not required. Like, like one of my clients when we first started work working together, she's like, you know, everyone tells me, I'll figure it out eventually, but I would rather just pay you
to help me now. And I kind of loved that because I'm like, yeah, that's available. You know, and there's no reason why we should expect to automatically know how to do this stuff. I think, for a lot of us being Scrappy and really self resourcing works very well, especially when we're individual contributors and we kind of have this is the scope of work.
That is mind to learn and do an Excel at But then, once we switch over into people managing it, that, that same skill can actually hold us back because communication and relationships and building trust and all of the that that's like the relational art of human interaction. And what's so interesting is, I see this in every industry.
Any place you have two or more humans working together, you're going to bump into some of these challenges and it can just be Be a lot easier to have a dedicated space to do Active Learning, right? Like books are awesome. You know, like courses are awesome but like active Community Learning space. I found there's just there's something in it that you don't get like you don't get from a book. So yeah. Super good. Anything else? Anyone has that they want to ask or share?
It is, hey Anthony. Hey, I'll share a real quick. I mean, it's a, I mean, it's kind of like off topic but in the same kind of right? Okay, let's go there. I worth nobody. Just in terms of, I went through a stretch last year where I had like wanted. I didn't know like that I needed even coaching. Until I like, was it a point where, you know, I just started looking at courses and things of that nature and I was and just to bring it to a really personal point of view.
Like I remember it was like three weeks leading up to actually like that like the sign of date and I was like, it's crazy. How like I couldn't See the value and advocating for myself with that time. And how much like I was even in tears?
Like, I cried almost like we every day for a week before actually, like signed up to help myself and it was like a huge turning point for me. But like so those are the kind of things that we're kind of coming up when I was thinking about it. And, you know, not even like because I just never even thought to ask for any help ever, and I really pissed. I kind of resonate what you're saying. Just like, yeah, I don't know.
It's a lot of things. I mean I'm Filipino to so I just want to put that out there so I get it the whole immigrant experience to. But yeah it's just a always in that what you were saying earlier about just being in that space of when you're just like isolated to perform tasks like get I was really good at like just doing my job, put my head
down, stay in my skill. And and like I didn't really have problems often like managing or talking to other people but you know I started realizing more the limitations that I had by kind of staying small in that space of just like I internalized a lot of things I and this is just obviously a lot of work and in terms of work and spiritual work on top of that to
come these realizations. But yeah, just just like Didn't feel comfortable that I could be vulnerable in the spaces that I was in it, especially in the work environment, that wasn't. Yeah, let's keep it short. Well and thank you so much for that share because I know they're like, I'm I know that what you just shared will resonate with many other people and I'm curious when you think back to you right before you, decided to reach out for help when like you were just like, no
I should enter. I can't. What do you think? Tipped you off? And they do say no, like I'm going to do this. Honestly, it was like I just didn't know, I just hit a point where I couldn't. It was just so much. I guess so much like crying and like, so much of that. You know, I just hit a point where I just go. I got a bet on myself, you know. I don't know that. Yes. And it was like kind of the first time I had spent money on classes to like gain skills, right? Like to improve my skills.
But never like for like life, like life skills or anything in terms of energy mindset stuff. Like I had never, I always loved that stuff but I'd never actually doubled down on it, you know, and actually been like, I'm going to do this all the way instead of intellectualizing it. I actually want to integrate this into my life, but I didn't even know that much at that time. When I was signing up, I just
know. Like I was just, you know, place where I was kind of like, I knew I had to take a lead on some level and that leap has led me to, like, brush up against other things where I'm like, I gotta take another Leaf but that was kind of an initial Gateway. I say, yeah, growth growth begets growth, right? Like there's always a new thing
to learn. So I love that what you said about trusting yourself and betting on yourself because that never ends, you know, Yeah. So that's also make me think so a couple things I want to share with everybody and also for those who are going to be watching the replay, so I'll talk a little bit just about the difference between one-on-one coaching and the program. The program is going to start on February 14th. So it's starting in just a few
weeks. I have priced it in a way that should hopefully work with a lot of professional development budgets. I will share this screen a little bit. Bit. So you can see, we're talking a lot around communication skills and also, as I was talking before, how you're thinking and feeling so that you can use those communication skills in situations that require boundaries, speaking up advocating for yourself and also managing up.
So as you go up, you have more people there to manage and sometimes that requires a different way of thinking. Aang how to manage up and also because it's a live group. Then we're also going to work on what you bring into our group calls. We're going to meet for 12 weeks, the calls will be recorded. So if you're not able to join for some reason, you'll be able to watch the replay, but we'll get to have more conversations as a group, the pricing, it's a thousand dollars.
If you're able to sign up by the 22nd, which is Sunday, regular pricing is Thousand to fifty and then for like my last call, like, you know, what time is it? Oh no, I need to slide out. Now, it's 1,500 if you wait till the very last minute and there
are a couple of questions. I'll ask you it, so that I get a sense of who you are, what's going on and then the payment will be through PayPal. So if your work is going to pay for it, then you can use the PayPal link for the corporate credit card, or passport or forward that to your, your Work like Finance person with some of my clients, what they do is they pay for it out of pocket, and then submit the receipt for reimbursement. It just depends on how your
organization works. But this is, I feel like one of the missing pieces in leadership development, both specifically, when you become a new manager, because there's just feel like this, this stage is very underserved. And the sense of to like, I like to imagine, if you even just had
add 5% more confidence and 5% less anxiety. and you got that like, every week that would make a pretty awesome difference in the experience and shape, not just of your work life, but like of your life life, and one thing I've been noticing this week is a lot of my one-on-one clients have been telling me that their relationships are improving, not just work, but also home because one of my clients is like, it's really nice to have a place to
talk about the work stuff because then I don't bring it into my home relationships and we can talk about other Things? Because I've got like a place for that conversation. So that is one of the other benefits in terms of having more energy to connect, not on work stuff with friends, family. And people that you really care about, you get to be more present for them. When, you know, that all the stuff that's kind of sitting on you for work.
You have a place every week to address that in handle that My one-on-one coaching is $5000, it, six months, we meet for 20 sessions. It's just you and me for some folks, that is the perfect way to work and if your work covers the cost of that in whole or in part even better. So my clients like to pay for that out of pocket and just not
address their work at all. They just like, I like that's for me but with the one-on-one coaching but also includes whatever you want to bring into the session. When we are focusing on the group, Graham. We're going to be a little bit more focused on the work stuff because that's what we really want to help build the mindset and the skill set for. But, you know, we're whole
humans in every context. So you can't address work and communication without including the perspective that you are a whole person and that effects the way that you are at work. Yeah. So that is that any other thoughts perspectives questions? Anybody wants to share? While we're still here before I release us for a Friday afternoon. And everyone is on mute right now. So if you have, if you have a share, you'll have to unmute yourself. Sorry, I'm, did you say that everyone?
So I do you say that there's role playing in the group sessions, not necessarily it kind of depends, like on the, on the on where people are at and if they want it, but I don't often I don't. Well, here's what I want to answer. I don't really do role playing per se, but I do do the thing where it's like, if there's a conversation you need to have. Let's practice.
Saying the words now. So the first time you actually say the words is not, when you're in that live conversation, we want to get the conversation out of your head and into your body. So you feel comfortable saying things like, okay, I want to offer you some feedback, it might be kind of hard to hear, but I think it's important that I just tell you directly is that okay, write what you want to
practice saying that. So you have it in your mouth and in your heart before you try to say it for the first time live in the Station. And with a component of this unit segment manage, you mentioned managing up. What if you wanted to, I guess it's the same thing advocate for yourself or like a promotion or anything like that.
Like, some of a lot of these things that you mentioned are things that, like, come up in my head, you know, saying something to someone directly and getting the word out and not like freaking myself out. Because I have to say that or trying to Tone it down because it's confrontational or you know, advocating for a promotion at work. So I think those are things that interest me but like, definitely communication and being direct which seems like that will be addressed. Yeah, absolutely.
That's the heart of it and the reason I include managing up is because we sometimes forget that that's also people management. So that's also managing expectations. That's also how to say no to someone who has more power than you. That's also learning how to communicate. In the way that is effective for them. So just as one simple example, kind of its like the higher you go, the more bullet point e and the less information people want, right?
So instead of saying, okay, let me explain to you, you know, why we're doing all of this. The higher you go there? Like no. Like if I need the backstory, I'll ask you. But I trust you and your judgment, just tell me what you think we need to do. What is, what is it that you need from me? So, the car, Verse ation starts to change when you're talking up when we're talking to the folks that are reporting up to us.
A lot of what we're trying to do is understand what do they need to see and think about in order to go forward so that might be okay. If there's something happening up here, let me translate that so that you know how that affects us as a team. Right? Or it's around understanding. How will you be evaluated? So that it's not a big surprise when we do our performance reviews it's about helping people have the resources or the relation like helping relationships, get smooth.
And this is also where, you know, you're going to have lots of different personalities that report out to you. So learning how to communicate and work with different. Humans is really huge. But then learning how to work with your manager. And that sense of what did, what did, what is, what are they trying to do? And then when you're working with them, how can you think about, how can I work with them in a way that makes their job
easier, right? And it might not be obvious at first, it might be a thing that you either have a direct conversation about like, how are they being measured? What kind of pressure are they under? How can we work together? It will just take a different shape. When you're managing up versus managing, the team that is reporting to you.
Yeah, so super good question. I think about this all the time, like this is what I do. So it's always really fun for me to like get live and have conversations about this stuff. Yeah, very valuable and very excited. I'm just waiting to hear back from my Boston. You did make a good point. I might just pay for it and hope for the best. At least I know some of it will be covered. So it's exciting.
And we'll ever That is in this course being a manager or are they like on their management Journey? It's going to vary it'll vary a little bit. There's someone who's signed up. She's a project. May be a product manager actually so she doesn't have direct reports exactly. But her job is literally like to manage the different personalities and stakeholders. So the conversations and the skills she wants to get better at are also like super relevant and she's also Really, what?
I think. She said she really wants to learn how to manage up because she's like, I need, she's like, the way my leadership is operating right now. Like I need to help them be better. So it's going to be a communication and managing but I don't think she has direct reports. So yeah it'll it'll be a mix but what I've but yeah what I what I find is that most of the folks coming still identify as new managers in some capacity Yeah, good questions. Anything else from anyone that's coming up?
Okay. Well, I am so delighted that you all chose to spend some of your Friday with me, if you. So if you're on this call, then that means you must be on my email list already. Because that's the only place the link was which means that we're already connected and yeah, stay tuned. You know, there will be more coming out on the podcast. I will post the link to this so you will get to watch this and replay it and however, I can help you. That is why I am here.
All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you. Have a great Friday and weekend and I'll see you later. Bye. Hey, before you go if you like this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what has helped you? Thanks so much. I'll see you next time. Hey, before you go if you like this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what has helped you? Thanks so much. I'll see you next time.