Welcome to the new manager podcast. I'm your host, Kim nickel. Hi, I'm glad you're here right now. Things are a little bit hectic in every part of the world. And probably in just about every part of your life as well as for all of the people that you work with both those that you manage but really throughout every organization. Right now we're all being challenged in ways that were very often unanticipated and might feel really new. So let's just take a breath to Arrive. First of all.
And today I wanted to talk to you about the to be list. One of the things that as a human. We really like is predictability. We like certainty. It creates a feeling of security, a kind of steadiness in our life. So one thing that's happening right now in the big world but probably also in your immediate World, especially around work, is a lot of things that Had been stable and predictable for you might be changing really fast and so that creates more stress
in our mind and in our body. And in the way that we relate with others, and one of the things as a manager is, there's always these two parts that we talked about earlier. There's the part of self-awareness, which asks, how do I deal with uncertainty? What do I do? I do when I feel stressed and we all have different answers to that. So the first part is that you want to bring a lot of care towards yourself as well as this curiosity of. What do you tend to do?
What's your pattern, and how you tend to deal with that? And that will help you in a moment, which I'll explain the other part. That every manager needs is the communication aspect. And right now, one big part of Indicating with the people that we work with is really understanding that. You know what we are human.
This is challenging and the people you work with each have their own ways of dealing with the stress that comes from an uncertainty from things not being stable from that sense of predictability going away, everyone deals with that differently. One thing that you can do as A manager when you check in with your team, whether you're doing this formally or just informally is when you check in with that person and especially in one-on-one opportunities.
Simply ask the question. How are you as a human right now? And then wait and see how they respond some of the folks you work with might really want that space to get and share more of what's going on with them personally. Others won't some people might be a little bit more reserved in what's happening in their private life. But part of what you can do. As a manager is to Simply communicate this sense of I know that you are a human with a lot of things going on.
How are you? If you want to share with me, here's a little space. One of the ways you do that effectively is to make sure that your attention is fully in the moment because if you bring this attitude of you know you're trying to rush through things, you're very busy. People can sense that you know, you've had experiences where someone asked how you were and you could tell they were in a rush and it didn't really want to hear it. They were just trying to be polite.
So one way of building that trust is to really genuinely slow yourself down. Check And how are you right now as a human? Once you've done that, remember to you don't need to solve all the problems. Sometimes, simply creating a space for someone to be human can be so encouraging can build trust can help people more than you realize in the moment. Now, going back to the, to be
list. This is a practice that actually started in my one-on-one coaching practice and I began to share it in my Mindfulness classes and a very easily led into my managing humans classes because it works like this. Number one, your to-do list has plenty of things on it, and especially right now, it might be changing all of the time. So I don't want to put one more thing on your to-do list. So we're going to leave your to-do list to the side, your to
be list. Only ever has one thing on it and it has to be something simple. Usually if you can say it in half a sentence or even one or two words, then you're on the right track, if it requires a lot of words to express it, you might be overcomplicating things for your to be list. It is only one thing. You can change it every day, but on any given day, it is only one thing and the question you want to ask yourself is how do I want to be today? How do I want to be today?
And you might choose, I want to be present. Or I want to be patient. You might choose. I want to be creative or I want to be resourceful or I want to be calm. But choose one quality that you would like to be and then as your day unfolds, you check in with yourself and you ask how am I being right now and if you are being in accordance with your stated intention, then
fantastic. Good job if you're like me and a lot of my students over the course of the day you'll ask yourself how am I being and you'll say wow I have really drifted off the Mark, I am not being paid. Shouldn't I am not present, I'm actually very distracted.
And when you notice okay I've drifted then you adjust in the moment and what makes this so lovely and so effective is that your state of being will inform your doing and your state of being can adapt depending on what is happening in the moment. And what this means is that you don't have to create a really Sophisticated or detailed plan of action and very often
especially right now. We're really needing every moment as its unfolding, and we're needing to respond and let plans go because we're facing things that we hadn't planned for perhaps. So the to be list is really nice because you ask yourself what would it look like for me in
this new moment to be? Whatever it is that you would like to be when we think about who are the leaders that we most appreciate the ones whose style, we really look to with admiration the ones that we look to as Role Models, very often. When I'm coaching people or talking in my class. One thing people say is, I want a leader. I can look to in times of uncertainty. I want someone who has this study hand.
If I look to my leader and they are freaking out and having a meltdown and biting people's heads off, it does not Inspire confidence and often what we need when we look to a leader in our lives. As we want, someone who can bring a sense of steadiness, a sense of resolve, a sense of we are in this together and maybe we don't know exactly how Is going to go but we will figure this out as best we can right
now. I'm seeing in my newsfeed a lot of messages from CEOs or from other leaders and it really does speak to the ones that you see. And you think wow. I wish they were leading my organization or oh, my goodness.
I wish this person was my manager because they're speaking in a way that lets me feel we can get Through this together or also sometimes things are really hard and even though things are hard, they say it directly with so much kindness with so much good spirit in them that you realize yet, you know what, we don't have answers for this. We will have to make hard choices but you see and you understand, they're still a deep measure of caring for the humans.
And at the end of the day, that's what we all want. We want to feel that we are appreciated that, our contribution matters that who we are, as humans is seen and respected that were part of a team and you get to be that person for those in your own life. Now, one of the things that's true is that when you are facing a lot of change, and a lot of challenge all at once, It's also when that self awareness and self care, really matters because it will give you more energy.
More resilience. It'll give you more creativity. And if you are completely depleting yourself, if you're neglecting to care for yourself, then it makes it really hard to show up in the most supportive way for all of those around you. So, part of what I hope for you, as you listen to, this is, I do want you to You to choose. How do you want to be just choose it for today just for the moment you're listening to this episode. How would you like to be today?
Just choose that one thing let that help guide you through your day as it unfolds and also look for ways to support and care for yourself. And one of the things I like especially that there's been we've been so much working from home. A lot of screen time now that so much of our communication happens. Screen is one idea for self-care, put your screens away, put your spine on the floor.
So just lay down on the ground, turn your palms up and then your arms at the elbows so that you make like a cactus pose and then put your feet up because we want to get the feet elevated above the heart. It can be really calming for your nervous system and for your heart. And when we turn our palms up and we bring our elbows out to the sides like that. Cactus kind of pose. It also helps to open across the front of the chest and the
heart. And when we get scared or anxious or when we're on our screens, a lot, we tend to collapse in and forward and we really close and contract the muscles across the front of the chest. So from a physiological perspective, it's really nice to help open the front of the Art and that'll also create a little bit of ease and relief along the along, the sides of your neck
along your trapezius. It'll let the shoulders relax and just as a little fun fact in case you didn't know this about me, I'm also a yoga teacher and a meditation teacher.
So, I really get to draw from my full Bank of experience when I'm speaking to you today about this particular lesson, because remember, you are a human Woman, you are a whole person, the body of you, The Heart Of You, the mind of you, the spirit of you, being a manager means that you want to bring all of your best self and you want to as a human care for all of your best self so that you can show up in the most effective and supportive way that you can because you have that power care for
yourself. First, let that caring radiates out towards those. Around you and take a deep breath, one day at a time. Thanks for listening. Do you want personal confidential help with your situation at work? I offer one-on-one coaching and can help you overcome challenges reach your goals and become a more effective leader to schedule a consult. Go to my website, Kim nickel.com coaching and we'll schedule time to talk about what's going on with you and how I can help talk to you soon.