Always so busy. Never not busy. Never not moving. Never slowing down. Going over here, going over there? Never stop moving, moving all around. Do I even sleep? I don't even know. Do I even eat? Yeah. My stomach says, yes. It just... It actually says stop eating as much. Hi. Everyone. This is Nadia Bumper car. And this is the bumper podcast, and it is summer. It is so summer. It hurts. It is so summer that you can't even believe how summer it is. And what do I mean by that?
I mean, it's hot, and it has been hot for... It feels like forever. Every time I go out of my house. You know what... I just... I I melt into a puddle, just boot right there. My kids, they wanna go to the pool. They wanna go to can't. They wanna go to move whatever they wanna go to. They're like, come on, dad. Let's go. I go alright. Just... Hold on a second. If And then I walk out of the door, blew I turn to a puddle. And so now with the kids do, they know.
They travel with a bucket so that anytime we have to go someplace. 1 of them goes out starts the car turns the air conditioning on, the other 1 goes and gets the bucket and the scoop. And then they know that to tell me that we have to leave a lot earlier, bucket then you would think that we would have to leave because they are factoring in the amount of time that it will take for me to walk out the door melt, b scooped up, be put into the air conditioned car and recon,
compose. I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I guess I'm becoming becoming less, Gooey. Less gelatin, more solid. I'm I'm not sure. Now I don't even know. Hey they figured it out. It wasn't me. It was up to me. I would I just would stayed a puddle for the rest of my days. And then the nights, I would probably un pothole because it would be cooler. And then in the morning I guess I would... Just be a puddle again.
That's not gonna be good for the resale of the house because I'm right in front of the front door or usually when this happens, and, you know, I don't know a lot about real estate, some would say barely anything. Or but I do... I'm guessing. This is me guessing. I'm going out on a limb, and I'm saying that, having a puddle of goo right in front of the front door, probably not gonna help with resale value. I mean, I I... Again, I can't promise that. I don't know what a hundred percent for sure.
But that's what my instincts. My just razor sharp, business instincts are... Telling me. I don't have razor of sharp instincts you guys. I I just wanted to make sure that you knew that. I I don't have razor sharp anything at this point. My fingernails, not razor sharp. My wit, make not razor sharp. My sword, it's not even razor sharp. My knives, all of my knives, I was told I have to take my knives to a place to get them sharpened. And I don't know I'm nervous about it because I don't really
know what it me. I mean, I understand the concept you have a knife. You take it to a place. The the people they're make it sharp somehow. I'm guessing Ai, robots, Maybe they have, I don't know, badger in the back, working in the back who has skills. I don't know how it works. But I'm I'm just freaked out because I'm gonna take all my knives someplace, then they're gonna take my knives.
They're gonna do some sort of a, some sort of magic, 2 to the knives and or know what they're gonna do first, they're gonna take the knives and they're gonna judge me. They're gonna look at the knives and they're gonna judge me on the lack of sharpness. You the just
lack of upkeep on my knives. So I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for that part, Like, I'm now getting over the hump of gathering up all the knives and and then, you know, finding the place going, to the place, getting out of the car, not melting going into the place, and then they're just gonna judge They're gonna look at the knives. They're gonna kind of probably spread them out on the table or whatever, and they're gonna look at them. They, you know, they'll start picking them
up. Even can put them in order, like size order or something they're gonna start picking them up by the handle and kind of holding them straight up and looking at them. Maybe twisting them in their hand, twisting them back kind of an them more, so they're getting a little bit a different light. And as they're doing this, you know, and they keep shifting it around in their hand, they're gonna make these big size of Like, you know, like that, not like, Oh, well, okay. These will look at things.
No. It's gonna be j, Mc, Mc, Mc knife sharpen. And then they're gonna take my knives. And I'm gonna forget to ask how much it all costs and then in 2 weeks or whatever when they when they, hey, got your eyes back. I'm gonna go and and they're gonna say, we really had to do a lot of work on those knives. Me like, cool. I got it. Thanks. You already made me feel awesome. And you They're gonna go in the back, and they might even give me a ticket
when I leave. They might take my ticket when I get there, look at the ticket, then make fun of me, then go back to the back and and and bring out a a bag or whatever, of tray maybe, of of my eye, and they're gonna put them on the table and they'll say, you know, take a look. Maybe maybe they'll maybe they'll even give me like a carrot to cut. Just to prove how sharp these knives now are. Be careful with those. Alright. Those are very sharp now, much sharper than they were when you... I'm
like, I get it. Buddy. I like, would you like to cut a carrot? Like, well, yeah. Or who wouldn't wanna cut a carrot. You wanna cut. We also have... I don't... You probably don't know this. You don't remember, but there used to be commercial on the television where they were cell knives, and and they would be... They would take drills a can. Like a can of soup, a can a pee. What I don't know what? Just I'm
about a metal can. And they go, like, this knife can cut through anything, and they cut through a... The can with a knife, which in your mind, you're like, well, that's destroyed that knife, that knife is never coming back from that. And then they would go and they'd bring in a tomato, and they would just right through it. Like like the like that the knife was a a razor blade. Like, the knife was a laser razor blade, and they would just cut right through that tomato.
And then they'd go back and they would start hacking at, I don't remember what it was, a block of ice or some thing hard. Yeah. And and then they'd go back and they they'd they take a strawberry, A a sweet delicious little straw, and they would just so gently cut the strawberry in you just ago, well these knives?
What are they? How how do I how do I get the them and then they would tell you, how much they were, how to get them, who to call, how long it was probably gonna them take for them to get to you, and then you
know what? You can also get a second set of knives that are also magic that do the same magical to things as the first set of knives that we showed you, which to me is weird because if your shin showing me these magic blades that I will have... I will pay passed out in my family for eternity, then why are you gonna to? I don't need 2 sets. I don't need 2 sets of knives. That's a lot of knives. Passed I would go so far as to say, it's a it's an unhealthy,
unsafe amount of knives. Like, if I'm gonna go into a house, and I see, you know, people have, like, a a block on their countertop, and it's a a knife block. And I walk in and I go, oh, look at those in knife cool. But if I walk again, nice see 2 knife blocks. I'm turning around and leaving because you're someone who has too many knives. I don't need to be around that many sharp surfaces. And if there are these magic merchandise and they're very sharp, very, very sharp.
Anyway back to my knife story, I'm there, guy wanna cut a care carrot or whatever. I don't think they'd bring out a can although, that'd be pretty amazing. And you're like, you. They seem good because what do... I mean, their knives. You're gonna be like, okay. Cut of care. Awesome. And and you're... Then they'll start by like, yeah, yeah you know, we also did this to it. We also upgraded you to this. You know, we really felt like, and you're, like,
I just want my knives. I want... I just... I just wanna go home, I'm and not have to think about knives anymore for right now, Maybe ever, and Then you're like, okay. Well, what's what's the damage? What's the bill? How much is this gonna cost rare? And then they they they throw out some number that's so exorbitant, so insanely expensive that you could have gone out. And taken you could have gone Norway and taken classes on craft knife building.
And so you've flown you're staying there for the 2 weeks, you are buying the materials, you're paying for the class and you're flying back, and that would have been less money than what they are now charging you, to sharpen your knives. And so you're in a real conundrum because there's the knives, you've done everything. You took the mocking. You got them sharpen. And now you're looking at a bill, and you you know they they have you. The work has been done. But not thing you can do.
What are you gonna do? Is gonna throw your hands up? I, you know what? I don't want these knives anymore, but you do because they're your knives. Wait what are you gonna what are gonna do when you get home? People are gonna people are gonna ask because you know what people in houses like to do. They like to cut things. They like to cut vegetables. They like to cut fruit. They like to gut meat. They don't like to cut cans. They don't. Well they shouldn't.
Alright. I'm gonna give you a little secret here. I've discovered lover that my child, 1 of my children, we won't say which 1 has a tendency to take cans of soda, cans other of seltzer, whatever it is. Cans of beverage say, and he he he he sneaks mountain to the yard. You're like, oh, come on, just the kid to have a canvas right now. I don't no. He he takes the cans and he takes knives, like sharp things, and he cuts into that the cans.
And then he comes in either covered in in in in sugar water or maybe bleeding. What happened. Yeah. I fell off the slide. What? You fell off the slide. Are you okay? Oh, baby, then you go outside and you see a massacred can and you're like, this kid does not need any more knives at all. The bumper podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly rom with Na Bumper car and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening.
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The bumper podcast features contributions from Jpeg pig, Ru Hero, Doodle poodle, robot, trunks and a gag of other silly ras. Our head talker is probably Na. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at na card dot com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Na. Hugs and hearts, see you soon.