#5 So You Think You Can Coach

You laughed at me. Wow. Welcome, welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Motley Criss Studios, and we're here for another week of Rubber Leg, and we're here to talk about, can you coach, coach, coach, coach?

What kind of fucking alternate universe are we in? What was that? I know, I was sort of going vibe, and then I sort of messed up, and I wanted to keep going, so I went that way. I was going to say, I thought you heard Kyle in the background and thought it through you. Normally, you'd just reset and go again, but you fucking committed. But I felt like I was okay. You stayed with it. Committed, yes. I'm here with Kyle and Cody. How are we doing this lovely afternoon, lads?

Fantastic. Sorry, I missed your name. Who are you? My name's Jake, and I'm fucking over the rain, and it's still raining. Think of it. We've had enough rain, so rain. I thought that was just your tears, bud. Yeah, just a mask. He's probably happy. A win, mate. I had two good wins, mate. One my classic, one draft, finally, for the... No. No, you lost by a point. Fucking lost by a point. I swear when it was almost at lockout, too, I'm sure you were up by one.

Nah. I don't know why I remember it that way. I was like, I thought it might have done the old fucking reverse. There's only one fucking reason why I lost. Kalen Ponga. Kalen Ponga. Cole Flanagan, mate. Great call by Coach Berg. So bullshit. That's probably the best score Flanagan's got in, like, fucking five years, and he just pulls that out.

Well, as soon as they said that, I was like, it's the first week I've had to play Lockie Ilias, who's been my backup halfback all year, and I'm like, please don't have to play him. That's the first time I've had to play him. He's averaging like 11 and a half. Fuck. While the rest of his team's playing good, and Gutho had all their macabre up, and he's doing nothing at halfback, apparently. But then he scored me 57 or whatever, and I thought, you know what? Still lost anyway, so it didn't matter.

Well, while we're here, we might just stay. I was so annoyed. I was looking good. I decided to play Purdue for some reason. He'd fucking not be 120. I was like, oh, yes. And you still lost? Yes. He got a third of your score. Bruh. And then I've got a fucking another fullback who scored me fucking extra 30 points. Oh, mate. Yeah, why wouldn't you go the fullback that's versing your team, the Knights? Fuck me. Yeah. Of course they're going to go off. Well, I don't know about you guys, but...

Most NRL teams know how to fucking play football. You look really good in Supercoach until your Knights play. Fuck. I know. That's even annoying. The last two weeks, you go, fuck, Jake's going all right here.

Fuck yeah. 1,400 points coming. Captain Ponga. Fuck. Don't know how to score points anymore. We retarts. Anyway, boys, how'd you guys go? Get a win in the draft? Like what type of tarts? How'd you go in the draft, boys? Get a nice win? I've suffered my first loss of the season. Oh, ouch. How do you feel, mate? Still's coming top four, so I don't give two shit. I didn't lose by a point, so that's something. Oh, you didn't listen to me. You lost 10 points. Yeah, neither did I. I lost by more.

Yeah, I went down to Harley. He did all right, that bloke. But again, it's me halves, mate. My halves are letting me down. Reynolds and Hunt, they combined for 49 points. Oh, ouch. Yeah. So if anyone wants to do a trade there, because I was looking red out of the start. Had Tui Pilotto get me 95. Brimson come to the party at 73. Watson, 78. Fuck, yeah. Uh, Joy Arrow, 84, but then, but yeah, Hunt, 21, Reynolds, 28, just kind of, kind of snuffed us there.

And then, uh, Harley had Tappany, Nicholson. Yeah, Raiders went off for him. Yeah. Sami DeBellin. He didn't even play Ethan Strange. Maybe you can swap Ethan Strange for Adam, Ben Hunt, maybe, if you would. Yeah, I'll do that and then Ben Hunt will start going off, so just going to ride it. So we've only got one undefeated player or one undefeated person now in the comp, and that's Lee, Mr. Butters. Don't know how. He's got no fucking fullback.

Like he does. He'll leave it to you. He's like, fuck me, dude. And then we've only got one defeated, which is happy. Number one pick, baby. And I'm Kyle Kuzma this week because I've got him. And it's at the point now where it's like you just don't want to be that team. And I'm going to be his first loss and I'm going to cop it. Oh, and boys, we missed it. Happy scored the second most points this week in lost. Oh, I was just going through that.

I was just about to have a look. I thought it happened back-to-back weeks, but it happened two weeks ago. Yeah, but, you know, when you come up against the super coach himself. He had David Fafita, 128, Val Holmes, 97, Xavier Coates, 148. I tell you what, that play, so he sent me an email. He sent me a message. He sent me a message like, carry a pigeon. Still in work mode. He sent me a message on the Friday night or whatever, and I almost got Dylan Egan in.

And then he sent me a message saying, oh, Dylan Egan started, and I jumped all over that, and he pulled in Dylan Egan and got 99, which is probably the difference there. That's what Butters said. He goes, maybe if I got to stay home all day and I could look at Supercoach, maybe I would have brought him in.

Because he goes he brought him in and it's straight into his starting side and he pumped it ah well, Shit happens, eh? I'm happy. So, 148, top score of the week and he still lost. And I got done by, dooped by my own brother. Oh, that would have been some nice, nice hassle. It's the ones closest to you, eh? Fucking piece of shit. Mate, I tell you.

Yeah, and I, well, it wouldn't have made a difference, so I'm not as dirty, but I, last week in the panic, you know how I hit you up last week for whoever, I sent, I tried the bloody butters to try and get a player for Jojo Fofito and then I went, And I'll hang on, no, Jojo Fafita's been ruled out. Or I couldn't have got him in time or something. Whatever it was, he was playing within 24 hours. So I said, no, don't worry about it. I never cancelled the trade.

And then after the second game, he just accepted the trade this week. And I lost a player from his starting team. And I was left with no one in my fucking team. And then, because I was working all weekend, so I was flat out and tired. He goes, here, I'll give you back next week. And I was like, why is he trading me Leah Tower for two of us a sheck? Like, how's that going to get him anything?

Like, I thought I was doing him a favor, and then I called him today, and he goes, why didn't you fucking play him? I gave you a player so you could field a full team, and you just left him on your bench. And I was like, oh, dude, I don't know, man. I don't know. That's red off. So bad. But 37 would have got me. 72. You would have lost by a nine. Nine points. And shout out to Newby Dylan. Back to the bottom. Ten bucks, please. Unlucky yours.

And this week you have three players out because the Cowboys are going to buy. That shouldn't affect your score too much. They're not that great. Instead of having 12 players, you're going to have 10 players. It's weeks like this when you go, you're glad to have that Dylan in your comp. Oh, yeah.

Because I was fucking shit this week and any other week I would be shit, but then I beat Dylan by 100. Oh, 80. Close enough. Not quite. Did he field a full team? Not quite No you're 12 He's got no half 5'8 Fullback Nah No it was just one short Yeah no fullback No fullback, Oh Romy Hughes with a big 16 Spencer Lenny with a big 19, 19 points in Supercoach and 87 explanatories after the game. Oh, Lee. Well, we're going to make the quick jump over to Classic just while we're on Happy.

He was in prime position to beat me in Classic because I had him. I thought I fucked up because I bought into it. I had originally Pappenhausen as my captain. Yeah. But then I looked at Happy's team and saw that he had Ponga as his captain and I don't have Ponga. So I'm like, oh, he's getting full points for Ponga. He's got Pappenhausen as well. So I'm like, I'm only getting half his points. So I'm like, fuck it, I'll switch it to Munster.

So I put Munster as me captain. Pappy goes off. Munster doesn't do that great. Like he got 60 odd, which is fine. And then going into that last game, I'm like, all right, Thomas can't need to have himself a big game because if Ponga goes off here, I'm fucked. Because I think I have like a 70-point lead. So basically I was 70 points ahead plus Thomas can't.

Why is there always when we're doing a podcast and a bird flies into the fucking window what's that join the mic join the chat unlucky door there mate, oh basically that's exactly what Ponga did oh no I must be able to crack that fucking thing. Fuck me um so shout out to Ponga for getting us over the line there Well, then you've got, so Butters, you know, only undefeated one in the draft. And then in our classic, back-to-back weeks, he's knocked off the two big dogs.

Had fucking happy trundle down to seventh last week because he hasn't scored many points. And I've trundled down to fourth now because my overall is not very big. So I'm fucking, I'm down to fourth now. No, you're third, I'm fourth. Oh, okay, it must have been something a bit different in the... Yeah, so Bergie's top of the table on... Because it is on points scored in our Classic. Yeah, I did that one right. Yeah. So Bergie, well ahead on... Not well ahead, he's only 130 points ahead of Craig.

Who's Craig? Craig Window. Oh, Window. Oh, yeah. Birdie. But yeah, I was saying to Jake, I had that many different ways of beating him. Yeah. Because I did the same thing. I had it on Ponga and I thought, oh, I need to probably change this up here. I think I'm struggling. I was falling behind early. And then I went, probably should change to Munster or Ponga, Munster or Pappenhausen. But then I was working yesterday and just got distracted in it. And then the game started and I was like, shit.

Checked and fucking Pappy scored half time. It was like 80-something. Ended up going for 140 or whatever. And I was like, fuck. So I would have beat him there. If I'd played Purdue, I would have beat him. And then it come up to the last game. It was coming into the last game. And I was like, oh, he's got Ponga. Do I captain Marz Yu? I'm like, nah, because if Marz Yu goes off, Ponga's probably going off. Oh, what? Captain fucking Terramay. I would have beat him if I'd captain Terramay.

I was going to say, Terramay's not a bad captain option. No, I know, but I was trying to fucking chase and I would have beat him all three ways and he fucking got me the dog through my own fucking stupidity. What about you, Carter? How did you go in classic? Yeah, I got a nice win. Again, it was looking like I was going large again, 1,300, but no, Newcastle sucks, so not much there. But I was versing... Is that because you have their whole left side in your team?

But I was versing Ben Wenzel, who's been going really good to start off the lead, and it wasn't looking great. But then he had Jerome Hughes as captain, who went off halftime for the Storm, and I was like, thank God. Was that the only reason why you got the dub? Pretty much. Like, if she's got 50, I'm one of still one, but yeah.

But I brought in Pappenhausen this week, and if I probably wasn't a Newcastle fan, I would have captained him over Ponga, but I just can't help myself sometimes, so that hurt. And I didn't play Perdue, but at least I still have him, so that's pretty red hot.

That's probably my biggest regret so far this season, is that when it was time to bring someone in to make cash, I can't remember who it was now. Yeah, you went. I went Perdue instead of a Zaytas because there was an injury that put Tars to the wing or was going to keep him on the wing. And I'm like, oh, he could cash in with their run they're coming up with. And that was dumb. Big regrets. Because Zaytas has now gone on to make me an extra like 15K across the last three weeks.

Shout out to old Cohen, top scorer in 1309 because he was someone who did captain Pappenhausen for 272 through his captain. With Perdue on his bench. He went large. Perdue on his bench as well. But I can't wait. It's time to cut some fucking dead weight and it starts with Adam Reynolds. I can't deal with him. No. Adam Reynolds first for me. No, you should have cut him a few weeks ago, that bloke. I know. If you weren't going to keep him. I got him a week late and he's been a bit

of a bust for me. But, oh well. He's getting the cut. I'm not sure what to do though. I think I've got two options. It's Nico Hines. Or I'm going to switch Sanders Smith to my half for now and bring in Harry Grant at. I like the Harry Grant play, but I know he plays Origen. But he's still got at least seven games before Origen and Melbourne look like they're going to keep fucking pumping teams. So I'm thinking it's a go. He's a post-Origin player, mate.

He's just a keeper. He's going to be the top two, three score hooker, so I'll just keep him, I think. And I'm not convinced with Nico Hines. So I don't think there's any rush against Nico Hines and he doesn't look like he's going to probably still lose more money. And there's no other half-act I really, really want. DC is killing it, but What's, um, codes, what's Nico Hines' break even? I could also go Dylan Brown to halfback in and bring in Cameron Munstead 5'8".

Fuck, you're struggling with your fillet Dylan Brown. He's alright, mate. I've had him at the start. But I've got Dylan Brown and Jaden Campbell, so I'm pretty happy with my 5'8". And then if you could provide me with Nathan Cleary's after that, that'd be mint. Nico Hines, he's just gone down 72,000 and his break even is 127. Oh, so he can wait on Hines. Yeah. And I'm just not convinced. He fucking, they played the right, the Sharks, they won, and he still got 38 points or whatever it was.

It's hard looking for Cleary these days. You've got a phone and scroll, a fair why. Why? Why? I mean, I could fucking type his name in. So I think that's one trade for me. And then my other trade is I'm getting rid of Tommy Gilbert. He really wrecked me. I was really hoping for more and more and more. I kept holding him. I'm just going to go to Egan this week because I think I need to get Egan in my team. Again, I missed his first cash rise of 100. Can you points or cash?

Both, still. See, I'm actually... Katoa. Can you afford to go to Katoa? Killing it. Got to get him. I still don't have him, but I wish I did. Yeah. Currently, as it stands, my trades that I've made so far... Cleary's is 45, sorry. Just that. I didn't want that. Fuck. I know, he's down to 640,000. The lowest you're going to get him. Same as Harry Green. He's at 615. But if I'm going to get him, I need... It means I'm probably going to have to use me boost. Another boost.

I'll be all out. Yeah, I'm out. I'm already out. I use them fucking back to back to back. What have you been with? Oh, I don't feel too bad now. I'm not doing well at the moment. I'm happy with my team though. No, I'm happy with my team too because there's not too much I can do like outside of that or I want to do outside of that because I end up using a boost. I had only used two trades last week and then last minute used that third one.

Because, and I'm kind of glad I did because I think it was Phoenix Crossland that I got out. Fuck. You get him out of the fucking NRL? Yeah, basically. Go Super League, please. But my final trade, I ended up doing a straight sideways swap that Myles Barnum that's not playing for the Raiders at all. I just swapped him to Dylan Egan last minute. So I brought in Thomas Kahn and making a bit of money. It's hard because that's my spot. There's all these back rowers coming through,

and I've got me on the bench at the moment. It's Taylor May, Tino, Kikau, Gilbert. You know what I mean? Like, I've got a good thing there. Barkin Presto comes back in. Egan at the hooker. Cleary, Munster. To start this week, like, it depends on the... The first one I'm doing is I'm finally getting rid of fucking Zayatars.

I'm dropping him to Haradi, so I'm making some money there. I was going to say, talking about Haradi, like, how's his... How much longer? Because it almost works out perfect that if you go... Because what did Billy Smith get? Two weeks? I don't think I was out yet. I thought I was only a week. No, fuck. I traded him in. Yeah, no. Because I'm pretty sure he's getting at least... He's in two weeks. Well, I think he's at least getting one. Yeah, it's one or two.

Keilis high tackle. If he's out for two weeks, that works out perfect because Kyle Iroh is meant to be in two weeks, back in two weeks. So you can get that money off Haradi. That's my plan if Smith's out for two weeks. Otherwise, if he's back next, the following week after one week off... Because I was going to say, what's his... Tamale's gone out of a team. 7,300 people are born in Haradi, but... Yeah. He'll have a decent break even. He'll be negatives. Negative 61.

One yeah and he's looked not out of place in that left center role oh dude he's a mint player for someone who comes in like that he's only played like five or six games one game unless he challenges it which he shouldn't yeah well that works all right too because Tamale somehow didn't do anything in that 50 point rubbing of eels yeah that was weird hey that cost us our bet him not doing anything oh, because my same gamer on that one like we'll get to that but it was literally

just him Haradi's got the worst team in the comp next week too He's in. Fuck off. Versus the Newey Knights. But. I'm sort of happy, too, with Arthur's not playing this week because then I don't have to worry about trading him out this week and him losing cash. Fuck him off. Oh, he's HIA. So we'll have a week off. So that's easy for me. I'll save that trade this week, and I'll go Arthur's to probably Billy Smith, bang, bang, next week. Direct.

And then I should be able to go Hubner to Alikatoa, which I like that. Or Thomas can't if can't gets dropped for Lucas. I like that. I can wait on that. Because, yes, Ali Katoa is fucking a weapon. Gilbert's break-even is only 46. So I can hold him for one more week, and then hopefully I can go to Katoa next week. Yep. Nice. There's no point. Then I'm probably going to get rid of Ponga and just play one fullback.

Wow. At the start of the year, we're all like three fullbacks, three fullbacks, and you might get out of balance. I was never convinced on the whole... Like, I know I've had three fullbacks for the majority of the time. I'm not convinced on it. It was a great idea until all forwards this year decided to fucking have a crack. Yeah, that is true. In years gone by, three fullbacks is cheat code. Whereas this year when you got all the forwards going off, like I'm stacked through the back rowers.

I was nearly thinking of getting rid of a fullback to play Katoa in my fucking flex. I get more forwards, the better. At this rate, yeah. Because I'm like, and you know, it annoys me because off history, even this year, If I get rid of Ponga, he's going to fucking go off. I should get rid of him this week just to give Jake a bit of fucking happiness. Well, I'm not getting rid of Ponga, but I'm definitely not captain this week. Vice captain, nothing.

Fuck off. I'm not getting hurt three weeks in a row. Sweet. Cool. I'm getting Kaelin Ponga into my team and I'm putting the C on him. I'm going to be C. Straight up. I'm going to be C. Pappen Hulzen and I'm going to go with captain on Cleary.

Pappen Hulzen. That's what I'm vibing. Who's versing the Knights this week? Sharkies. Sharkies. Captain something from them. Haradi. I'm a bit worried. I might have to go down to 16 this week because I've got three out in my center wings via injuries and bias. So if anyone gets dropped or not, which I'm a little bit worried about Jenkins, just because Panthers, I feel like I've got to change something. I think Jenkins is still good.

And I think he's... He had a shotgun. Yeah, but they all did. I just don't know. But I've got Arthur's gone. Tupolotu sounds like he's gone. Can I not say his name? And Purdy's got the... Tupolotu. You say it with three U's there. who should be my fourth reserve boys and he, Any... Caelan Ponger. He's my first reserve. Fuck off. Who have you got? What are your options? Probably mixing up. Tommy Starling, Sandon Smith, Hubner or Egan. We've got the Panthers take Smith. Just think of that.

But Egan. Who are the Raiders' version? Gold Coast. That's not a bad play. Yeah. I'm at this stage... He's been in good form. At this stage, I've got Egan. So many people got rid of him and then he bummed down another 7-7. I was like, yes, Tommy Starluck. I'm just... He's my dark horse in fucking draft. Got him in. He's been fucking killing it for me. Yeah, should be good. At this stage, I've got rid of Carrigan out of my team this week. I don't know if I want to keep that.

I'm not. I'm like. Because he's not playing a lot of, like, his minutes. He's not playing minutes. Like, he's doing work while he's there. Well, you trade him out for that. I don't feel like you need to trade him out. Nah, but I was going to go. I was going to gain money and go to Toby Couchman, who's playing minutes and doing the same sort of work. He's playing more minutes than Carrigan. You should maybe flip him to Kick-Out. That'd be good. A bit risky.

But Kick-Out's on fire. Kikau's got a nice neg. He's fucking lowest he's going to be all year. When's he back? This week. Oh, is he back this week? Should be this week. Yeah. They're all back after the bye. Burton, Kikau. I heard that he was possibly not going to be back in time. He was running a bit later. Because I was going to go Nafu White to him next week. Because I thought he was back next week. You need to go Nafu White over Kerrigan, mate.

Nafu White's about to start losing money. Kerrigan's already been losing money. Yeah, the word on the street. Is that they were meant to be full strength versus the Rabbitohs this weekend. So that's Burton, Kikau. That's thrown a fucking span of fireworks. I'm not convinced of Kikau, but it's a good play because he started. No, no. I was always, like I was keeping an eye on Kikau. I was keeping an eye on Kikau because I was always going to drop or jump to him. Yeah.

But I was expecting him back next week. So that's kind of fucked me a little bit. Yeah, it gets me a little bit worried about Preston. That means he has to go back to the right edge and that left edge, they just get better ball, the doggies. Yeah, he looks good on that left-hand side. By there, I think that's Super Crunch for the week. I'm keen for draft, though. I feel like if everyone's back for the dogs, it might be my... I finally get to play my best 13, in my opinion.

So... Are you going to crack 500 this week? Oh, are you going to play Buller? You're a fucker. No! Plug a Buller in there. I'm not... Oh, just who plays first? Just loop the other one. Just looping. That's what I do. Yeah. So you figure out who... Then you need another fullback that doesn't play. Hmm. You can just go to the free agent list. Yeah, it's risky. There's no fullbacks in the free agency. Yes, there was. Oh,

ones that aren't playing. No, no, ones that aren't playing. There's heaps of them. Oh, okay, the ones that aren't playing. I'm trying to look for someone who is playing. Well, if you're trying to loop, you're not going to get someone that is playing. It's a terrible loop. Every time I go in there, I'm just like, there is no fullbacks. Yeah, I'm kind of fucked because I got rid of Chad Townsend. He's not a fullback, bro. No, no, no, but I was going to go to Hugo Savala.

Oh, yeah. But fucking Berge kept him. And I was like, ah, you bastard. If anyone out there in the old Muttley crew league wants to try and give a fella a fucking fullback for a week. I would actually do it, but you're going all right. And you're versus the team in the bottom. So, no. I've got two wins sitting in eight. Yeah, but that's the same as me. So, get fucked. That's why I said it. We're just lucky.

I'm just lucky in this league that there's people worse than me that can't fill the full team. How good is your backup front row? No, because I don't have a front row this week. Lindsay Collins? No. My back up front row is Emre Gula. Who? Emre Gula. I've got Kepi. You can have him. Well, actually, at this stage, because Jai Arrow is my back up front rower, but sometimes, depending on who

I've got available. He did offer him to me too, and I said no. And I think he's gone fucking two really good back-to-back weeks. I tell you what, he's looking fit out there. I seen one, and I didn't even like, I was like, who's this bloke? And then I was like, oh, shit, he's looking fit. My second row rotation in draft is literally the two edges for the Knights and the two edges for south. I've got Kulamutangi and Arrow and Kahn and KPP.

That's my second row. If anyone needs a center wing, just shout out. I've got a few good ones on this area. If anyone wants one that's not playing, I've got four of them. I've got good ones that are playing. Fucking hell. Onwards and upwards, boys. Onwards and upwards. Cut the stream.

Oh, we're doing two. That's right. We're doing two. We are thank you thank you ladies and gentlemen cut the scream up the coach up the scream I thought that was a couple weeks where we just did it all the way and then I feel like no we did.