Your turn to talk (Part 2)

I let's dig a little deeper. I want to answer more of your questions, and so my amazing producer Kendall, we've we've pulled a bunch of questions and we're just gonna jump into him and so Kendall, if you were there, fire, let's go. Let's let's hear from everybody who listened to the show and had something to say, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Gus says, it would be helpful if you explain why you were canceled. Do you want to explain that? And for people who don't know, like us US,

it's called google man um. If you listen to those two episodes and you had no idea what I was talking about. God bless you, by the way, thanks for sticking around for two hours because you must have been thinking to yourself, what the hell is this guy referring to? At no point did you think I'm gonna hit the pause button. I gotta find out what this is about. Um,

But I appreciate you sticking through it, Gus. But yeah, I didn't want to take everybody through the play by play and minute by minute leading into I kind of had to assume that you were up to speed with me a little bit, so, Gus. If you weren't, I apologize. But yeah, just hit the Google unfortunately, or whatever search engine you prefer. Whoever is going to actually sponsor this show. It could be anybody. Sam says you are just a host and don't actually have any relationship expertise. Ouch, how

will you be discussing relationships on the podcast? Hey, you guys, don't mind just cutting to the chase here, you know, just cut to it. I'm okay, Uh, Sam, Um, you are right. At no time will I ever tell you that I know everything, that I am an expert, that I am a doctor. I have an honorary doctorate from Oklahoma City University. Um. But Sam, I've seen things and I've lived through things in my over half a century

on this planet. But in nineteen years of hosting the show and being intimately immersed in every aspect of a relationship, and being married for quite some time, myself, having children, going through a very public divorce, UM, raising those kids with my ex, trying to date again, UM, finding love again, being engaged again, and going through all of these emotions.

And so you're right. Technically, maybe I'm not a doctor, but I played one on TV and Sam, I've seen things, so I think I will be able, in all seriousness to be helpful when people seek advice because I have probably either been through that situation or I've seen that situation played out before me. All right, Kendall, what do you what else you have for us? We're going to take a quick break and then I have a lot coming your way. Bring it. Welcome back to the most

dramatic podcast ever. I'm Chris Harrison, back with l Z and we are back to your questions. Kendall are amazing producer. What else do you have? Jacqueline wants to know if you see yourself being a host in the future, and adding onto that, I personally want to know, is there any show that you would kill to be the host for? MM? Hmm.

You know I've done both, Jacqueline. I've done both. I have obviously started this franchise from the beginning the Bachelor franchise, and that was fun and it was amazing to start something. But I've also jumped into franchises. I took over the iconic hosting role of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and I enjoyed trying to make that my own. So I will, I can. I can see myself coming back. What's more important to me is not as much what

I'm hosting anymore. It's who I'm working with. And at a certain point in your life, luckily I get to make that decision of who I want to work with and who I want to surround myself with. This podcast is a good example of that. I was offered a lot of podcasts. I could have done this anywhere. I did it at I Heart Radio because I have relationships here and it was important to me to work with

these people. And so I will probably be back. And I'm being kind of dodgy here because I'm a big fan of working in silence and working quietly, and then you will see the fruits of that labor. And so I'm trying not to give too much away. There's some exciting things on the horizon, um, but it's much more important right now who we surround ourselves with and who I work with. UM, I guess I'll leave it at that for now. This is a good follow up question.

Ashley is asking if you would step back in and return to the Bachelor or Bachelorette? Would you do that? Mm hmm. Isn't that the fifty million dollar question? Why do you say fifty dollars? Is that how much it would take? I would probably go back to kind of what I said that last answer, and that is it is so important who I work with or work for. I don't see a path back. You know, my mom always taught me never say never, and so I won't say that word. But I don't see a path back

where I could find happiness and contentment. And and by the way, conversely, my guess is they feel the exact same way. UM. This show, this, this whole concept is about relationships. And I look at that question as a relationship and we, most of us have made this mistake. When you get out of a relationship, it ended for a reason. You got out for a reason. Making the mistake of going back into a relationship. You do it sometimes for safety, you do it because it may makes

you feel good. You're longing for something. We remember the good old days, the good times. You forget the bad in relationships, and you go back to that that boyfriend, you go back to that girlfriend, and as soon as you're back, you're on date one, date two, and you're like, oh my god, how did I get myself back into this situation? And now how can I hit the ejac button and get back out? How am I breaking up

again with the same person? And so what I learned in relationships I would apply here do I want to get back in bed with that same girlfriend? And usually the answer to that is no. Jen is saying she found the first episode to be insufferable and that no one wants to hear how hard the situation was for you and how you couldn't fix it. You should really start taking your own advice of not saying anything. Why did you focus on yourself so much in that episod?

Jin I love these so I'm watching you squirm a little bit. Thank you for listening to however many episodes you made it through, I'd be interested to know how how long Jin made it? Did you make it all the way through one episode? And if so, I hope you you missed the best part, which was l Z in episode two. Um, I'm sorry that you felt that way about the show, but I felt like the first episode needed to be me talking for the first time

in two years. I thought, if I jumped into the show, into this relationship podcast and just said, Hey, so we're gonna be talking about hooking back up with your ex, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend again, and just acted like nothing happened, and I just started talking about relationships, I thought that would have been really insincere. And I thought you guys would have been thinking, uh, hey, Bud, you

kind of skipped over a little something. And I thought, and I said this off the very top of that first episode, if we are to have this relationship, and that's what this podcast is, it's not only about relationships. It is a relationship, my relationship with you, which has always been paramount to me. If this is going to happen, if we're going to hook up in this way, I needed to bear my soul. I needed to talk to you, and I needed to kind of show all my cards

and I needed to go first. This will evolve into something very different. We will start talking more about relationships and things going on and talk to have interviews and guests and all that stuff that will happen. But I just felt like, in all seriousness, those first words from me needed to be meaningful and and raw and open and honest. And I'm sorry if it just seemed so much about me. But I'm also just you know, self centered narcissist. I'm a leo. What are you gonna do? Hey, Kendall,

are there any nice ones? I'm just hold on kinda. I only want them if they're really meanless. Lauren loves this, Elsie loves watching me scorm But hey, in all seriousness, I will I will say this again. This wasn't about sitting in an echo chamber and having a bunch of people tell you exactly what you want to hear. You get nowhere. There is no growth like that. I want to hear the good, I want to hear the bad, I want to hear the silly. That's what this is

all about. Life is messy. There are mistakes, so let's lean into them, let's own them, and let's talk about them. So bring it on as much as I can do you mean legally, Yeah, Mark wants to know being the host of the Bachelor and Bouchel for all those years helped your own relationships and dating, did it? I mean Elz sitting right here, She's the last girl I dated, So I'll definitely let her come in on this. I'll answer first, and you can correct me and make fun

of me. This is a perfect situation. I would say yes, I would say I learned. There are the shallow things that I learned, and that is the you know, I'm a good planner. I really can curate a pretty damn good date or trip um And and it's not that I've taken things from the show, but yes you have probably but you learn, but you learned some things. Now you learn you learn how to kind of again curate an amazing experience that is about that person and it's

about what she wants. And I'm speaking from my perspective. She uh what Lauren would love. What I know Elz is into and that that that's important is don't just do something that I think is exciting, like I'm never going to take elz Um on a golf trip and and and try and sell it as hey, babe, I have this amazing experience. Um. And so there is the the shallow part of it, which, yeah, just curating and all that I think I have become much better at.

But also I think on a deeper level, emotionally speaking, I am a little more in tune to what people are really trying to say. I'm a better listener. Um. I would say I'm a better communicator than when I started nineteen years ago. And look, some of that is just growth as a human being and the experiences I've had being a dad and getting my my kids partially as a single dad, through young teenage years, graduation, getting

into college. You learn and you have to be a better communicator, especially when you're by yourself as a parent sometimes. And so a lot of things have led into this, but surely I have to give credit where credits due, and spending nineteen years on that show helped. Julie wants to know if you can share all our parts of your brother's letter. Actually, we got a lot of d m s about this asking this question. I heard this a lot, Julie, and the short answer is no. And

it's not because I won't, It's because I can't. For the first time in the history I think of our relationship. My brother listened to me and he took that letter down. He's not the most technologically advanced guy, apparently, because he typed it directly into Facebook. No joke. I don't know who does this, but he he typed it directly in and so when he took it down, it's gone. I assumed he typed it somewhere and then you know, copy and pasted it in or whatever. I'm not on Facebook.

I don't even know how it works, but unfortunately it's been lost forever. Um and it was I read it. I only read it once. It was just a heartfelt letter to the world, defending his little brother, about the man that I am, the man that he knows, and knowing that what was being said about me publicly, it's just not in me. It was not a part of me. And and you know, for a man that knows me better than anybody in this world, he was just defending me.

And so that that letter will I don't know. Maybe it's it's no pun intended poetic justice that it's lost and will never be seen again. Um, I know what it meant. I know where it came from. And but it also hilariously kind of is typical of my brother, um, because I called him and texted him, Hey, a lot of people are asking about this letter. Is there any way you could, you know, look back on your computer you can find it. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So finally today I texted him again. I said, hey, man, not for nothing, but I'm I'm recording tonight if you could look for that letter, it would really be great if you don't mind. And he proceeds to text back that he is in the middle of a bass fishing tournament with his son, my my godson. They are out bass fishing and they had a great day to day. By the way, Sam caught a over nine pound bass and Glenn did really well also. So that's that is the level of my brother. And they're one of my

favorite stories about my brother. His name is Glenn by the way, and this is years ago. This must have been early days of The Bachelor, like one or two years in. I got the job as host of Miss America, and I hosted Miss America for quite some time. I think I was the second longest running host after Burt Park who who was like the legend and but it was. This was the first year, and it was a big deal that I got this gig. It was three hours

of life TV. You know, I had a chance to prove on a network level that I could do live and I could get outside the Bachelor bubble. And so it was a big deal. And I hosted it. And and I'll date myself of how old this show was. Clay Aiken was the musical performer on that show. Gus, don't come at me. Google Clay Aiken before you say, I should explain who it is. He was on American Idol a long time ago. So I host the show, and not to toot my own horn, but I kind

of killed it. And I'm in Atlantic City and I'm in what I guess I could call the Rainman Suite. I'm in this beautiful room. It's far too big for any human being, and I'm really feeling it. I wake up the next morning. I'm ten ft tall. I am on top of the world, and I get a call from my brother and I see the color I d and I'm like, ah, you know, my brother is gonna call and tell me what a great show I had.

I'm really excited, and I pick up the phone, and we start talking and we you know, we talked for a few minutes and I'm like waiting and I'm waiting, and then all of a sudden, my brother says, oh my gosh, I almost forgot. I'm so sorry, and I'm like, oh, here we go. I caught the biggest bass the other day. And he goes on this fish story and the moral of this story and the through line on this It

is your family who will defend you. It is your family and loved ones who will be in that foxhole with you, take the bullets, stand beside you, stand in front of you. It is also your family that will

burst that bubble and keep you humble. And whether it's your family, and I say family loosely, I am luckily lucky enough to have have a family, But whoever is in your life that represents that, your friends, your loved one, your significant other, whoever that is, I pray that you have that someone who will build you up when you need it, but knock you down when you need it just as much. And that's what my brother has always

been for me. For It's asking if anyone from the show reached out to you to check in and make sure you're okay when you left the franchise a bunch of people. Um, I I did name names. I kind of listed some people. And it was the first or second episode I remember last week. Um, it was second episode, top of the second episode when I mentioned a list of people. UM. And yes, there was a host of people that have a reached out in the beginning but have also reached out since. UM. And there's a couple

of people who I didn't mention. I wanted to mention Graham Bunn, who's just such a sweet guy who's always reached out to me. Dan Cox Um is another one who's always just been a very very good friend. Brad Walmack wrote me maybe the sweetest letter text letter that I actually just got today because he had listened UM. And he's funny because you know, of course Brady's like, you know, I don't listen to podcasts, but I listened

to yours. So he just left me this amazing message. UM. And two people that Britta reached out this week after the first two episodes aired that I don't know surprising is is the right word, because that that kind of puts a negative spin and negative connotation on it. I don't mean it like that. But the two Hannah's, Hannah Ann and Hannah Brown both reached out and both had

incredibly kind, supportive things to say. And Um, Hannah Brown wasn't as big as a surprise because Hannah and I have have always had this bond and this kind of thing between us that we've always kept up with UM and obviously her being the bachelorette, there was that chemistry there because we were so intimately involved in her life and and that relationship, and so that wasn't as big

a surprise. But Hannah An actually had reached out and just said, you know, look, I we haven't kept in touch as much and I'm sorry for that, but and then went on to say some really kind things. So those two notes really stood out to me this this week.

Britta question for Lauren and Chris, Okay, how they wants to know, how did you find joy in the hard days and what do you feel like is the most important lesson you learned from all of this and something you would tell someone who messes up in the future. I'm not a masochist. I don't I don't mean to sound like I enjoy the tough times, but life isn't a steady ascension. It's not just this simple road from one success to the next, to the next to the next.

And if it were, it wouldn't be fun. It wouldn't be interesting getting knocked on your ass, getting punched in the gut and starting over. Making a mistake. Lord knows I have made plenty, we all do. Everybody is fallible. Everybody makes mistake. You will make mistakes. Now I hope they're not as life altering is the one that I made.

But that's what makes life interesting. It's the messy stuff, um, and getting through that, and that is the true true resolve of a man or woman and your intestinal fortitude of what's in you and how people respond. I always look at how people respond when they're when they're down. Um. It's easy to put up inspirational quotes and be all fun and sappy when you're on top, when you're crushing it. It's it's when someone's down and how they respond in those moments that I really look to and I look

inside myself for those moments. How am I going to respond to this? Um? And and so I would just say, it's okay, embrace the mess, embrace your mistakes, they're gonna happen, try to learn from them, try to grow from them, try to become a better man or woman, and move forward. And don't let those that want to hold on to that keep you in that space. And this is a really important thing. Don't stay there and don't let people

keep you there. There are those that want to because for whatever reason, it makes them feel better, makes them feel better about their own lives. It has something to do with their own history and their own perspective or things that happened to them that can't be on you. You say what you have to say, apologize, fix it, move on. But you need to move on. Don't stay there, take that next step, wake up the next morning, move forward.

I said this a little last week. I am still so very, very grateful for everything about the life that we have, whatever we might have been through over the past year and a half. Um, there are people who go through so much worse. And I think what's so important, because here's the thing. Life is going to throw things at you. No one goes through life unscathed, and I think one of the most important things we can do

is try to find join those dark times. UM, I don't think there was, you know, a day that we went by when we didn't smile at each other at some point, and a lot of the time we had to sort of find the wild humor in the situations we were in. I don't know where we would have been if we hadn't found a way to laugh a little bit in those times. Bethany wants to know if anyone betrayed you, like a cast member or employer or

anyone in your world. And if you're going to answer that, I want to know why you think they betrayed you. Oh wow, this question came through my d M S. Actually, so I'm gonna jump in. That is a big question, and betrayal is a big word. But I will say, yes, there were moments when I felt betrayed over the past year and a half. Um, there were moments where we were lied to, there were promises that were made that

we're not kept. Um, there were moments were Yeah, maybe the word is betrayal because we were told one thing and another was done. Um. But I don't want to name names and get into specifics on that because I don't hold anger towards those people. UM. One thing we've been saying is that we all make mistakes, and I don't know, maybe they feel differently about the things that they did now, maybe they don't, maybe they will one day. Um,

but I don't hold anger about it. And uh, you know, I think you said you even said something about this on the podcast last week that maybe fits in, um, that you can expect expect the best or what was it you remind me is hope for the best, just don't expect it out of people. The million dollar question Linda is asking about your relationship with Rachel Kirconnell and Matt James. Did you talk to them right after the interview? And where do you guys even stand today? I'll kind

of break the answer up, Linda, thank you. Um, yes, I did talk to Matt after the interview, and I have talked to Matt and kept my relationship up with him. We text from time to time. Well honestly, a lot of it is not very deep, but he knows my kids went to TCU. There was a lot of TCU football text back and forth. We face timed once. My relationship with Matt is much more. Again, I have a relationship usually with the bachelor the bachelorette, which of course

Matt was he has my number, I have his. Um. Rachel Kirkconnell was one of the cast members. I don't have her. Numb her. Um, we're not as close. I spent a lot of time with Rachel on the show though, by the way, and I adore her wonderful, But I just I haven't talked to her. I would love to and hopefully I will someday. But Matt and I have talked, and I would definitely say friendly. We're still friends. UM.

I am glad that they have made it. Going off of that, Stacy's asking how you felt about you losing your job and then Matt and Rachel getting back together to that upset you at all or how did you feel? That sounds like the through line of a soap opera. Um, no, not at all. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Me leaving the franchise has nothing to do with how I feel about Matt and Rachel Kirconnell, which is I want them

to work. I wanted them to work though, you know, going back to the interview, a large part of my mindset that day and my heart was on them, was caring for and trying to protect that relationship and trying to help it, which at the time I knew was struggling, and so No, I'm I'm happy. I'm ecstatic that they're together. UM. I think it's wonderful that they have found love and that they work their way through everything. I think it's great. Melissa wants to know if you guys ever went through

counseling or therapy through this time, individual or as a couple. No, we waited to get a podcast so that we could get paid for therapy. You know, You're right. We didn't think about that at the time, but that's I guess that's what we did. No, we didn't go through We didn't do any therapy together. Um. Other than every night over a bottle of wine. I did a couple sessions with a therapist on my own. UM, I don't think you did. I forgot about that actually until now. Yeah,

I did not. Um, do you ever think about it? No, I don't know why. Um. I fully believe in it and I love that. I don't know why I didn't think to go that route. Um. I don't know. No, I but I never did. But I had forgotten that you that you have been and Laura and I didn't do anything together but are you know. One thing that is wonderful and I love about Lauren is she is really good at communicating. Sometimes too good, no, but she's

she's a phenomenal communicator. And we're really good at hashing things out, being very raw, being very honest, and however heated things can get, we always kind of come back together and realize that what we're always talking about is our love and our commitment to each other. And so um, we had our own little sessions and then you're right, I guess sadly we're doing this in to the world now on a podcast. You know, as I think about it, probably we did not seek therapy for a couple of reasons.

I think one, we were so nervous. We wanted to be so protected at that time, like that inner circle of who we could trust was so very small. Um. And Two, I think maybe another reason we didn't do therapy at the time was it was so intense and we were having to make so many decisions day to day. I don't even know how I would have explained all of that to a therapist at that point. I went to a couple of sessions months later, and at that time, even then I had kind of a tough time explaining it.

But I think I've been able to think through it a little bit, and I knew what I wanted out of those therapy sessions. I knew what I still needed answers on and what I still needed help with. And UM, so I did do a few sessions at that time. And you're right, it was such a fluid situation. It was moving so fast and there were how many decisions being made every day. There's no way we had the time to go catch somebody else up on this and figure out how I was feeling about it. It It was

just you had to go. Um. And so, yeah, the only time we could have done it was later. I did not, But thank you for the question. This is a question for Lauren. Actually, Heather's asking how you were treated by e T at the time. ET was great to me. They really were, Um, that is a group of very supportive people and coworkers. UM. I got messages from individual people I got, you know, and people would stop me in the halls and and just kind of

give me some support at that time. UM, and they really let me determine how I wanted to move forward, um with with doing my recap review show Roses and Rose, so I'm very grateful to have had a supportive workplace at that time. They were great. You know, I'm wanting to know this answer too, and for whoever else wants to know, what are your wedding do dells? Do you have a date or have you sent out invites or anything? We do have an answer, but unfortunately we're out of

time this week. I'm sorry to do that to you, but in all seriousness, we gotta wrap up this week. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your questions, responses, comments. It has meant the world's Lauren and I truly appreciate it. Thank you for joining us on the most Dramatic podcast Ever. I will talk to you next week because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us

five stars. I'll talk to you next time.