Will it BE the MOST DRAMATIC WEDDING EVER?!

had spring break. But we decided we did a kids spring break and a friend's springbreak. Yeah, we did a kid's adult spring break. I mean, we're making it sound like, look, did we do a few tequila shots. Yes. But what was really sweet about it and how the idea was born was that your son Josh came to you and said, Dad, I'd like to go down to Mexico for spring break.

And we ultimately, you know, since he came up with the idea, we're like, oh, well, okay, we'll be there with you, and daughter Taylor wanted to come to it kind of grew into the kids each bringing a couple of friends, and then we brought a couple of friends who know the kids very well, and it turned into this really beautiful experience. I was almost in tears one night, thinking,

oh my gosh, this is so cool. Chris's kids love him and I guess enjoy hanging out with us and other adults so much that we've just had this like like they weren't off raging, they were just hanging with us. It was so cool. There's a time you go through with your children, and if you have children, you're listening out there. You know, you're just trying to survive. There's that survival segment. What is that age range? It's really zero to high school? Oh high so childhood and you

know what I'm talking about. And it's not lesser than it's lovely. I remember the great times of seeing Disney World through my kid's eyes, the marvel of it all and fireworks and the things that you started for granted as an adult, but when you see it through your kid's eyes, it's different and it's new. I honestly didn't understand Disney until I went with my kids, and then you get it. So I'm not saying it's less than,

but even on those trips, there's a survival factor. You you're significant other, You're just trying to get through the day. You're worried about the next meal, the dirty diaper, the sun block, all of it. I have heard parents say the phrase before, we're trying to tire them out. Yeah, and you're just I mean, you're going from event to event and you just hope they pass out at a good hour so you can get up and do it all again. And do you call it surviving with joy?

There needs to be a phrase for it. I mean, it's parenting. If I'm being honest. There's not as much joy in the moment as there is later looking back at it, you're like, I know, I'm building memories here and that's important. And so a lot of times you are going through the motions and you're not having the best time, but you look back with joy. It's a bit of a beating and I did it. I'm proud I did it. And what brings you the most joy

about looking back at those survival years? I guess just I know the kids enjoyed those moments, they built memories. You build memories with them. But here's what's funny, And I'm not saying let's leave them home and just let them play with the refrigerator box the rest of the rest of their lives. But you know, I talked to my kids now, and they were fortunate enough to travel around the world quite a bit when I was shooting the batch or in Bacherette. They don't remember a lot

of it. They don't remember being in Paris, they don't remember being in Italy. Every now and then I think they remember things, but honestly, I think it's from a picture they've seen. You know, I don't know. We should talk to a child psychologist sometime. Is it even worth these moments? Is it worth traveling around the world? Is it worth going to Disney when they're too and they will have no recollection of this moment? Well? Was it worth it for you as a parent to watch the

joy in their eyes even if they don't remember that time? Sometimes, but many times not. You you take your kids to the beach, you wake up, there's the sun screening and sunscreens in the eyes, and kids are crying and yelling, and there's the diapers or the swim diapers depending on where they are, and that level of potty training and um it's some heavy lifting and you're carrying so much stuff. You got the car seats, so you got the baby. Be come with stuff. Yeah, they come with a lot

of stuff. So you know, for for a while you just feel like home field advantage is a good thing. Let's just let's just stay at home, go to the community pool, go to a water park, go to the local lake. Something easy where we can now be back home in the friendly confines of our That's why my friends with young kids are like, come over for dinner. Yeah, home field advantage is huge. Lady, you stay on the schedule,

be all your crap is there. String it back around, because I did deter you from your point, which was you were saying it those times you were surviving, yes, but now she was triggering. I think I just went to a dark play. I'm going to get you another tequila shot, as if we didn't have enough in Mexico. But now we just had this great week hanging with your kids who are both I mean in college but actually legally adults now. And I will go back to

that is, yes they are. Now you will get to a point where it is this amazing time to travel with your kids because they're no longer just your kids. You're no longer worried about telling them to do stuff or don't do stuff, and stop hitting your sister. They actually become these great young adults that you enjoy spending time with and talking to. Now, to answer your first question, I think the groundwork was laid in all those trips

how to act, how to be. I think whatever that little chromosome is to go out and experience life and love to travel and love to do things. I think you get that from those early days, and so maybe one begets the other well totally right. I mean, look, I think parenting is the hardest job in the world and no human interestingly, it's the one thing we don't go to school for. It's the one job you don't have to get a certification for, and yet you're responsible

for human life. Now. I always say the craziest moment is when you just walk out of the hospital with you know, no user guide, no nothing, and you just you're carrying your child and you strap them into the car seat and you're driving home. You just keep looking in the review mirror thinking how did they let me drive home with a child? I have a human being in my car. I don't know what to do with it, and they did. They just let me leave. There was no doctor that said you should fill out a form

first anything. I just here's your baby, Go live life. But I was actually having a conversation with the kids. We were talking about just like parenting. I was talking to some of their friends about it, and I'm like, look, you, guys, I look at my own mom, and Okay, if I was going to go back, did she do everything perfectly? No? But what human can parent perfectly? It is impossible to do. No one prepares you for it. And look all those mistake whatever, the things you do along the way make

us all unique. And most importantly, it's about where you end up, right, And I look at what do I wish my mom hadn't let's open up the trauma door, you know, done things like not let me hang out with any friends after prom or not or not ground me for getting anything less than an A. But anyway, if that was my worst problem in life, I got off great, and I think it all worked like I

became a successful, competent, accomplished individual. So you go through those years of survival, you do the best you can and what you've ended up with is two amazing kids, and they had amazing friends. And we were literally sitting there like you and I kind of expected that they want to go out one night and you know, kind of go crazy and have some spring break fun, and it said we were just like playing cards and hanging

and having a great time. I think the takeaway is I've always said this, there's two things you can do as a parent. You can love your kids and be present in their lives. Those are the two most important things. Now. Between those two navigational beacons, there's this huge spectrum of decisions you're going to make and things you're going to do, and some are good, some are bad, like you're saying, but those two pillars, I think of the most important things.

I always tell young new parents love them and be present. And when I say be present, I think that led to them being the people they are now because you know who their friends are, You've spent time with them. And it's not being the overbearing helicopter parent, which I probably have been at times. You ebb and flow through that stuff, but being present in their lives is so vital and so important to know who they're hanging out with what they're into, and so we have this common bond.

And they're very different human beings. My daughter is so different than Josh my boy, and I don't treat them the same. I don't talk to them the same. We have different experiences together. I love my time with Tay and I love my time with They're very different, and I love that about them. They're very unique individuals and I think treating them as such is huge. And so when we go on these trips now as adults, the

groundwork has been laid. I think if you haven't done the groundwork, if you haven't laid that foundation, when they get to be nineteen twenty one, you're going on a trip with a stranger, and you're the stranger, They're not going to want to be with a stranger. They're going to want to be with someone they can relate to and someone who they consider a friend. And and I'm

not saying be your kid's friend. And I was very careful while my kids were growing up to remind them I'm not your friend, I'm your dad, I'm your parents. You know what, I just realized you avoided being their friend when they were a kid, so that you could be their friend when they became an adult. That's the bumper sticker. That's what you truly, that's what you do, you know, because now they just love to hang out

with you. Your mom always says this, Donna shout out about doing the work now, Do the work now, or do twice as much work later. When it comes to kids. Yeah, you make the hard decisions. You parent. You don't just you know, be their friend and hope they like you. But you make those hard decisions, and you're you're somewhat strict on them now when they're young, so that later there is less work to do because they are better

human beings. Wow. Well, I mean we that was a good a lot of good takeaways for the fact that, like what we've avoided addressing is that we're adults who just made up an excuse to go on spring break. And as you mentioned, uh, we did invite some friends and that did include a couple of our best friends, Andrew and Ivana Firestone. Yes, bachelor number was he four? I think it was four. He was four. I think it was our fifth season overall. Yeah, it was Alex Michelle.

Then we went to Aaron Burge. Then I think Trista came in as the Bachelorette, and then Bob Ginny, and then I think it was Andrew, so he would have been five. What was so incredible was hearing stories like about how Andrew remembers Josh being so little that he could like pick him up and send him down a counter. And you and Andrew were becoming friends then, and that now to see him hang like all of us still hanging out, it was such a beautiful week. It was

just great. Yeah, when I met Andrew, this would have been back in what two thousand and three, somewhere around there, that Josh was one two years old. I remember taking him to lunch when I met Andrew for the first time when we named him the Bachelor, and we're sitting at a restaurant and he and Josh got like throwing French fries at each other. There was a little food fight, and that's how they met each other. And I have

watched his kids be born and grow up. He's watched my kids grow and it's an amazing friendship all that came out of that franchise. So I am always I always say I'm grateful for that. And this also to say for all of you parents with young kids entering into the dangerous territory of spring break trips. I feel you. I love you. Survive, get through it. You're building the foundation for a greater tomorrow. It's your presidential parents. Yes,

I feel you. It is. Look I'm telling you, there's just some moments when you are putting your lathering up your kids, you're going to the beach, and you're just like everyone's screen overall sunscreen always, no matter what age. I mean, I will say I was still spraying sunscreen on the kids. But man, you're just thinking what am I doing here now? I'm telling them, don't tan, please, don't tell, don't lay out, put the fifty on. Happy

spring break to everybody. And we had a pretty drama free spring break, we did, but the drama found us there was I got it. I got this text message. I have a group of buddies I used to be golf buddies with back in Los Angeles, and I got this text message about this kind of hilarious scandal that was going on at this old club near where you and I lived, Sherwood Country Club out in Westlake Village, California.

We used to live in Westlake and I was actually member a member of this club for a little bit before I left, and there was a cheating scan handle. Not the craziest thing that there was an affair. This man had an affair with an alleged affair with the tennis pro, one of the tennis pros. I mean it sounds like you're, you know, writing a bee treat book, so it checks a lot of boxes of standard drama.

This was This was fodder in my group text message and we were kind of laughing about everybody's making their jokes, and somebody sent me the letter. I have the actual this letter. What happened was the woman who was cheated on by her husband, she took the directory from the club and sent everybody a hard copy letter, a stamp

letter in your mailbox. She sent everybody a letter, wait what detailing this affair warning, not even an email, warning the community of this act that had taken place against her. And I have the actual letter with me. It was sent to me. I'm going to read you this. I didn't think much of it, but this story then blew up. It's in the New York Post. It's in page six.

I believe it was in the Daily Mail. I was going to say, we have to clarify that the reason you're bringing it up is because it's now become a headline, a dramatic headline, like you got sent this by one of our producers and the person said, do you want to talk about this on the podcast this week? It was like a page sixth article, like you said, It was in daily mail and you're like, wait, someone texted me that days ago, and I have the actual letter this.

So you thought it was just country club drama, but it is main national news and here is the letter that this woman sent her entire country club. Okay, so this just think about this. You're going to your mailbox. It's a Tuesday. You open up a letter from this woman you don't know, and it says, dear Sherwood Members. Like many of you, I, my children, and my husband

have been longtime members. I feel it's necessary for my own sake and maybe even yours, to tell all of you what happened to me where I live, a place I bragged to my friends by calling it my community, filled with good people, a safe environment. To my horror, I recently found out my husband had been romantically involved with one of our tennis club employees. She actually named her here where I live. I feel betrayed. She's also been to our home. I'm letting our community of respectable

families and members of this home wrecker. She's missing a few words, Yes, who's working among us? I have to see her and see her smug smile at the pub. The pub is a kind of a little I know, you know what a pub is. But there's a place called the Pub at Sherwood, and so I'm trying hard to avoid her, keep her away from my children, but she's there. She has no respect for this community. I

never expected this to happen. We engage and are friendly to the employees that work here, and this is what happened to our family, my husband and I. This is the best part. My husband and I are working this out privately, are you? But I couldn't remain silent. I don't trust her. She's here as an employee, and she's become a home wrecker, one that I have to run into time to time. I can no longer keep this to myself. We chose this community for many good and

healthy reasons, but it's been a nightmare. I have to see her in an exclusive club. I belong to. I had to break my silence. I'm so sad this happened in my own paradise. Wow, that is the full letter that the entire membership of Sherwood Country Club received. Now I have to I have to ask a quick question. I'm looking at it. You have it, she didn't sign it. Do people know who this is? Is there any way? This is a prank? Not a prank? How do you know this has been confirmed by the people at the

club that I your friends. I actually have a picture. I won't post this, but I have a picture of the couple and the woman. There is the only discrepancy I have, and the wife may be mistaken here. I don't think she's actually a tennis pro. Well, she says tennis club employee. Yes she I from what I understand from my people on the ground, I think she just works at the pub. Oh, I think she's just one of the cocktail waitresses. Woman actually kind of gave her

a nice promotion. Yes, and so. But the fact that this is blown up in this community, and I want to know the only reason that you felt okay reading this is because this had already been published in part, like in page six in the Daily Mail. Now it's in the New York Post, in the Daily Mail. This has gone national? Okay, and so and the fact that she mailed a hard copy to four or five hundred people. First of all, I wish i'd imagine working at the

FedEx where she bought this printed out. But here's here's here's my question to you. Yes, reading that letter, it really seems like the husband had no part in this the affair. Oh. I mean, she's not blaming him at all, Like she's like, you know, this happened to my family, This happened to my husband. This is a nightmare. How did this woman do that? I have to see this woman.

And again, granted, yes the woman. It takes two to tango, but I think you may want to just look a little bit at home, and your husband is a much bigger issue to deal with here. Well, you know, as she says, quote, my husband and I are working this out private. Yes, maybe she's not going to name him, she names the woman. I look, I guess this is so wild to me that I've forgot for my brain to even go there. But a yes, you're right, as it's always that to share the blame, you know, it's funny.

I mean, it's cheating on trend nationally. Maybe that why did this story make the news? Because the Vanderpump scandal happened and media are thinking like, oh, literally, cheating is trending right now, it's a hot topic. Let's so let's just make this random country club story at national news story.

And it really is because the fact that it got into the New York Post and the Daily Mail is fascinating to me that this story from Westlake Village, California, and it just it hit home for me because it was close to our home. I know a lot of the members there. We were there for quite some time, and it's just fascinating that this blew up so big. And you're right, that's the question I asked you the other day. Why are these scandals getting so much pressed?

I think this one because of vander Pump rules. I think it's like piggybacking off of I mean that's media kind of works like that. If one topic is big, you keep writing. If you see it's clicking while you keep adding on to it, adding onto it, fueling the fire. Literally, but I do it does again bring up that because you just mentioned the not mentioning the husband deal. I keep thinking about the who's to blame and how much to blame. I think it's so case by case, but

I've come up with this. I think in cheating, both parties are to blame, but both parties might not share equal blame. What do you think equal? I think both parties are to blame. Both parties aren't equally responsible in that the husband is much more responsible to his wife and family than the waitress who doesn't know them, so he's much more respond both both to blame. Yes, he's

more responsible. Because I was actually talking I was talking to a friend about this, you know, as the vander pump roll scandal continues, and we were talking about like, when are you also obligated say that you're Because I knew a friend who she went on a few days with this guy, finds out he is actually still married, Like he was a bit older, he didn't have social media and so she couldn't really look this up, but he had told her, look, I'm separated from my wife.

No finds out like it's still married, not separated, still actively together. And the question is like, does that woman go tell this guy's wife, does she have an obligation. If you're saying people are responsible, I actually think in that case, I would be like, you just went on a couple dates with him, Just stay out of it. I was about to say, just cut ties. Worry about your own mental health. And I know this. It's sad that you know, brocode taking care of the guy or

women looking after women. Yeah, if you fight me on that, I'm not going to argue, but I agree with you at that point, just cut bait. And I also think, like I don't think the woman's necessarily gonna believe you. I would think the guy would find a way to talk himself out of it, like call this girl crazy, you know something like I don't know. I think it's going to do this the third party person more harm than it is going to do the whole situation good.

But like for example here, like when you're also talking about taking things public or informing people. If I go back to this letter, what sort of blows my mind for this woman is just that I don't think i'd bring this. Why would she want to tell her whole community about this? Why would she want to tell her

old community? That's what strikes me is she this letter reads like a warning like this is a public service announcement warning the community essentially that there is a predator, or it would be like she feels like she has to inform, but ultimately I think it's only hurt her. It's like me saying there's a mountain lion. Lock up your pets because there's a mountain lion loose. I'm doing everybody a service. This could affect all of us. Hid

your kids, Hide your wife. I mean, she's treating this like, beware, this woman is out there hunting and you could be next. And that's what struck me as so odd about the letter is that it just absolved It didn't absolve the husband, but it really didn't do anything to say I think unfortunately for her, this letter just makes her look unhinged, like I actually think in this case, she's been wronged by you know, according to her story her hard copy letter,

her husband has cheated on her. But I think she now looks unhinged, like because who brints out five hundred letters and mails them individually to people, and who exposes what their family's going through like this, and who, like, I mean, you know what I'm saying, right, I just went back to earlier earlier comment just seeing her at the local Kinkos and Westley. You're at the Kinkos, you and you printed this out for her. You couldn't not read it. Each copy that comes out. She just looks

at it angrily. It did unemployee at the Kinkos have an obligation to say it, ma'am, are you sure you want to do this? And think about the folding, the stuffing, and the licking of all those envelopes and the stamping. Her fingers are covering a papercut each one was just like a son. She has done herself harm. Here it's you're I think you almost hit it on the on the head. She was wronged, but now she's actually wrong.

I just okay, Like I've been cheated on before in a relationship, I did not tell anyone in my life until I knew the relationship was over. I knew we weren't gonna like come back from it, and we were done. And then I was just like, okay, here's what's going on. Because what I thought to myself was and that was my choice. I'm not saying it's for everybody, but what I thought to myself was, this person has already messed

up so much of my life. I'm not going to let them mess up all these other parts of my world that I've built with this fire they've started over here, Like, I'm going to maintain these other areas of my life and be sane in them, and they're going to be safe spaces for me. And I'm not going to let this chaos hurt everything else I've worked on. Like she's she's in the end, She says, I'm so sad this

happened in my own paradise. I think you maybe could have maintained some of the paradise if you would have not right fired off the five hundred copies. Well, the good news is they're working on it privately and we are gonna and look, I know the New York Posts love this. They because their headline was very misleading. Hollywood Country club wife names Tennis promistress in letter to members. It's not a hundred, it's not a Hollywood country club.

It's about it's about thirty miles. I will say. Caitlin Jenner and Kenny g are both members. So there you go. There you go. All right, we're gonna take a quick break when we come back, and I are going to take your questions. We asked you a couple of weeks ago to fire away some questions, any comments, questions you had for us. We are going to dive in. Especially we got a lot of marriage questions, questions about our wedding. We're going to answer them when we come back. Welcome

back to the Most Dramatic Podcast Ever. Chris Harrison Lauren Ziema on a very special edition of the Most Dramatic Podcast Ever. Because we're going to answer your questions. We have had some amazing guests on over the last few weeks. But one of the things I really wanted to do with this platform and so did Elz, is talk to you and make you a part of this platform it and this forum. And so we're going to dive in

and a lot of the questions. Very interesting that a lot of the questions that we got had to do with our wedding. Yes, well, we have said we were going to share some stuff. Our producers sent us the questions from you all, and there's a whole page with the title at the top wedding Questions. So we're going to dive right in, starting off, and thank you all for your questions and for caring. Starting off with Emily, Emily says, since you both have had a wedding before,

will you have a traditional wedding? I think the answer is a resounding no, and yes, well I mean, by the way Emily, I actually think she put this perfectly. Since you both have had a wedding before, will you have a traditional wedding? Not something we've talked about so much, which is we did both have like kind of hundred, one hundred and twenty people weddings before on our first marriages. You remember how many were at my first? It was big, but I don't remember how many. Yeah, well, yeah, you

probably in planet. That's why I don't remember. I was twelve, that's why. So yeah, I think we've had that discussion from that frame of mind a lot of like like I don't think we're going to have a bridal party, you know, in a groom's party, but I don't think we're gonna have bridesmaids and groomsmen, because it just feels like we did that and we maybe don't need the

pomp and circumstance of all that. We do want this to have kind of a more casual, intimate feel as a wedding there will be traditional parts to it that I think are important to you and I. But I agree. Yeah, we had discussed this, and Lord and I have talked about this a lot. Well, actually we yeah, And you even said kind of the big decision we made was

about how traditional it would be. Is you had said, oh, we could just kind of like have dinner and then maybe sort of stand up and get married in front of everybody. And I said, well, actually, the one thing that is really important to me that we do traditionally is I do want to have a walk down the aisle, like I do want to have that moment of walking towards you and that sort of I think there's so

much magic captured. Everybody who's been to a wedding sees like they want to look at the groom's face in the bride's face, and there is so much magic in that moment of walking towards each other coming together. So I agree. Yeah, and I was wrong. Oh yeah. As soon as you said that in one of our discussions, I quickly pivoted and realized you were one hundred percent right. Yeah,

I want that moment too. I want to see you when you you know, I want to separate for some time and then you walk into that moment and we share that. So I agree that that traditional part of it. And then we will have a somewhat traditional ceremony, yes, and get married. Someone will marry us, someone will marry us, and we will get me, so that there will be some traditional aspects to it, but overall it'll be a dressed down version because, as she said, we've kind of

both been through this before. Yeah, we've had a couple birthdays before. Our biggest priority is to not get caught up in the semantics and to make sure which I mean all the blessings every bribing room gets caught up in it. You have to because you want to do all these great traditions, but then at the same time they can be so stressful. We want to do our best to just try to have a really fun party for us, yes, yeah, no, I mean yeah, and for the people we love and celebrate for sure. All Right,

Donna says, do you have as your mom? Donna, Oh my gosh, how funny would it be? It would be amazing. She's like, Lauren won't answer my text, so I'm going to write in a pot. No, she doesn't even know how to do that. She doesn't. I love Godliver, but she doesn't know how to send. In a question on Instagram, DMS Donna says, do you have a wedding venue in mind? Will it be a destination wedding? Part A yes, part B yes, We're not going to disclose. We have found

our location. I think we finally did. It was something you and I had talked about in everything was on the table for quite some time. When you did take me to Europe for my birthday. One thing we were we came back from then, people were like, did you get married in Europe? We thought you were just going to get married, and that actually was an option for us. I think we both went into that trip being like, either we might find an amazing venue in Italy or France.

Like we actually took some time to look at some potential wedding venues and consider hotels we were staying at, and we both thought, Okay, if the moment strikes us and it feels right, maybe we would just do it. But it has to feel right, and we didn't. We didn't have that moment, so like we realized we wanted to plant in a different way. There was one moment where we could have actually done it. Oh and in the on the boat, yeah, because we had a captain, yes,

and a captain can legally marry you. I assume even in Paris that that could have been the moment on the boat on the River Stine in Paris under the Eiffel Tower, it was pretty spectator. It was a little chilly, little cold, a little it wasn't quite the moment. So but anyway, we decided not to do it. And we decided, you know, as we looked around Europe. It was a bit of a experimental trip as well to kind of shop and look around. So, yeah, we we have found

I think we've agreed upon the destination. We won't disclose that just yet, but it will be. We always knew we would go somewhere. Yeah, we we didn't think, oh, we'll just do it, you know, at a church or a place here in Austin, isn't it is a destination wedding for us, and we do have a venue locked in. Bum bum bum. I should haven't done done none. You just drop some knowledge there, all right, Okay, Okay, I

wasn't sure you're gonna yes? Yes? Okay, then yes, and yes, we have picked a location, we have it locked in. We didn't we didn't agree on how much we were going to answer this question. I'm just looking at the Okay, what's I'm sweating? Now? What's the next question? Hillariason? Why do we feel nervous about revealing it? I'm trying to figure that out. I think it is no matter what,

wedding planning is stressful. That's what it is. And let's just say it for every I'll be honest, here's my feeling. I don't know what you think. I want to own it for a little bit. I know, I mean, I know we'll share it with the world, and that's fine. By the way. I'm excited to share you and my love with the world, but I want to own the plans and everything going on for just a little bit longer. Oh that's very sweet, because it's been fun. Yeah, I'm

going to skip to another question. I will say my reasons a little different. It's that standard bride groom stress thing that we're trying so hard to avoid. You get so scared. You don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, you know. I don't want someone to be upset if the wedding's not close enough to them or it's impossible, though, you just got to lean in. If anybody's figured out how to not upset anyone not have any dramatic moments involved in their wedding. If anyone has got that solution and

that magic sauce, please dm me that well. And Laura and I are trying our best again to enjoy this together. It is our second time, so you know, the fact that we're a little older and wiser and we know what we want out of this is huge. Oh you know what, that's a good What is one thing that you learned from your first wedding that you would definitely not do at our wedding? The chicken dance? That's how long ago? A congo line, I will say, I'll aid myself.

We will not be doing the shof the slide? Okay, what is that dance? Oh my god, No, I'm blanking on it. We're not doing that. Yeah. So I'm not doing shout either. Any organized dances. No organized dances. That is a big no. But I will go further because I know there's a question down there. We don't have a wedding planner. We're not working. Oh yes, we're not working with Megan said, are you all planning your wedding yourselves or hiring a wedding planner? And so call us crazy.

We are not hiring a wedding planner. Yeah. The more and more we do, the more and more I realize that we're insane. I have worked with the most amazing wedding planners ever, because obviously we did a bunch of these on the show. Mindy Weiss is a good friend.

Maybe I'll call on her for a little consult here, But Lord and I have really just figured this out ourselves, and we have amazing friends that we are reaching out too quietly, and we're doing some things and right now so far, maybe it will get bigger than us and we have to hand it over, but right now, we've enjoyed doing this ourselves and it's something that has grown organically.

And I know there's a lot of pressure when you're engaged and people are saying marry her already, and I get these dms all the time, and I respect that because I know you guys just love seeing us, and I love us too, and I want to get married. But we really let this thing grow organically. I think not hiring a wedding planner has helped it be organic. Now.

I also see the side of people being like, you need a wedding planner so it's not stressful if you're trying to avoid the stress, but not having a wedding planner instantly. With a wedding planner comes all the questions of what do your safe, that it's look like, and all these things, and I just don't want it to be that. I want it to feel very casual. I want it to feel like every minute of it is us, and I want everybody to walk away feeling like they

just went to a really fun party. I mean, I truly would like if for some reason we had to I just get married in our living room tomorrow and invite people over and have some great wine. I'd be fine with that. We can do that well. I mean, it's also fun to have a little magical destination. I do. I want it to have. The reason I don't want to do that is again going back to the walking down the aisle. I wanted to have a feeling of a little specialness and a little magic for us because

I love you so much. That's true, I know, I wanted to feel a little special. I wanted to be intimate, but not too casual. It deserves to. Okay, so you had skipped down to Megan's question. Oh, I thought of one more thing. We're definitely not doing what some of my friends might feel called out on for this, because I've done this for them as a bridesmaid. We are not getting on a bus and going to take pictures.

Oh gosh, we are not doing that. I know. Well, I was your weddings where we got on the bus and did that. It's a it's a I've done it many times. It's a very I don't know if it's the whole country, but it is a very Midwestern thing to do. You get on what you call a party bus, which is kind of like a really nice sprinter van. There's a cooler of drinks, and you drive around for hours in your dress, the guys in their suits. You get off the bus, you take pictures somewhere. You get

on the bus, you take pictures. If it's a summer wedding, you're sweating. If it's a winter wedding, you're freezing. You are so exhausted by the time you get to the ceremony and yet or the party, the reception, and yet you're still thinking, well, I gotta have fun for the pride. I gotta fun. It's so horrifying. Yeah, that last wedding I went to where we drove around. Yeah, there was an amazing wedding. But then thirty minutes after the wedding, I'm sitting in a party van eating at Jimmy John's

so driving to a destiny picture. That's what we're not doing. I like, I love a wedding where things are kept as much in one location as possible, Like if you can get married and have a party in one place, if the ceremony can be if it's got to be a church, if it's very close to the reception, keep it simple, all right, okay, um, Joan says, And I again, I don't know answer to this. Jones says. I know

your faith is important to you. Oh well, not are you planning on having a religious ceremony for your wedding. I think, Joan, that a wedding is a religious ceremony. To me, it is. Any kind of wedding is a spiritual religious ceremony. Oh, I'm just learning this about you. I didn't you don't think that. Oh, gosh, that's a really interesting What is a wedding if it's not a spiritual religious bond. I'm not saying it's Christian or Jewish or whatever whatever faith you are or if you it's

a okay, wait, you were raised Jewish? Are we are we breaking the glass? Are we doing those things? Well? You know, you know about my religious mutt. I grew up, you know, partially Christian, partially Jewish, and I know people are like, well, your mom's Jewish, so you're Jewish? Yes, but she cheaches Sunday school now, so it's a long story. Mom converted. Yes. And so to me, a wedding, any wedding I go to, is a religious ceremony. It's to me, we are making a bond before God, before our friends

and family. Um, it's something. It's a BONDI take very serious. And so I hope that anybody that steps into that bond and that decision is doing so on a spiritual level your heart, mind and body. Wow, I think it's just setting in for me. How I would. I'm gonna sound so silly right now, but I always but sometimes it's easy to say, oh, I feel like we're already married, but you just totally turn that on its head for me, because the word spiritual is a very powerful word to me.

I really believe that whatever you know, I think there's a higher power, whatever anybody wants to call it. I think that we're all connected and that Um. I think that believing in a higher power really helps give you purpose in life. But I guess with our wedding, I've been so focused on thinking about like how will we feel love between each other and our friends and family, and how will we make everyone feel loved, I hadn't thought about the spiritual element of it. And I know,

and look this question. I love this now Now I feel like it's it's so purposeful. But there are questions that I mean, I'm sorry, there's questions. There are weddings that you know, you go to a Catholic wedding, there's mass. Um, No, we're not going to have a deeply religious ceremony where we go off and do you know a full mass or a full um take communion, etc. Those are wonderful.

I've been to many of them. Um. Same thing for a Jewish wedding, because I've been to many of those as well, um, And so there will be aspects to it. Whatever that is to you, to me, it's religion to you, it could be spirituality, it could be whatever. But that is a bond you're making that is bigger than you. Okay. Of the people that you have married, which there have been, do you have any idea how many weddings you've officiated rough number twelve to fifteen to fifteen. What is your

favorite wedding you've ever officiated. I'm not looking. It doesn't have to be a bachelor couple. Wow. M that's a tough one. That's a really tough one. I've done some amazing weddings. My cousin comes to mind. Your cousin and his partner. Yeah, my cousin and his partner in California. I married them. That was That was beautiful, just to be to be asked. I've was asked by my godson to do his wedding coming up, and I can't wait

to do. It's when you stand before family. The one that really probably hit home for me the most was your sister. Yeah, why Christina and Andrew Because it was you and it was them, and I was I feel like I'm a part of your family, even though we're not married. And getting to know your family more and more. But to stand in front of your sister, you, your mom, your brother, and all your friends and family that I got to know, and a lot of them I got to know at that wedding, it just meant a lot

to me. And it felt like that was one more big step for me to join your family. And it was just emotional. It was a very emotional day on a lot of levels. And I felt the pressure and anxiety and nerves to perform. As your mom was sitting there staring, I was like, please, don't screw this up. That makes sense. You'd probably feel more nervous in front of my family than like your own family when you're

doing your cousin's wedding, because you're you're comfortable. No, lie more, I've done live television weddings and I felt more nervous at your sisters just because I wanted it to be great. Well, that makes me feel loved. Okay. Next question from one of you, M Leanne says, do you speaking out, do you know who you want to officiate the wedding and

did you actually consider Andrew Firestone? But we were just on spring break with not after the way I saw him behave on spring break tequila shots with us, Leanne. We are considering some options and and yes, we're definitely I mean when we said that, that's very real. We thought about Andrew. He's a wonderful person. So I don't we don't have a definitive answer yet. We don't we have while we do have a location, we do not have an efficient officially yet. All right. Last one's a

fun one from Kyle. If you had to pick someone from Bachelor Nation, Chris that you are friends with to plan a bachelor party for you, who would you pick? Pretty pretty easy? Wells, oh, I mean you know A so she's shown himself to be a pretty good bartender, so smart, saving money, he's a good time he's beloved, so you know he could gather the troops, loves to play golf, loves a cocktail. Wells, easy answer, Yeah, you pick him for a lot of things. All Right, we're

gonna take a quick break. That is the wedding Q and A. When we come back, there's some other questions we're going to dive into. We'll do that right after this. Welcome back to the most dramatic podcast ever. Chris Harrison, Lauren Zema. Answering your relationship questions today, Yes, we asked you guys to send them in and thank you. Is Answering your relationship questions is actually must much easier than

answering questions we about ourselves. So thank you and please continue to send them in any time to at the most dramatic pod ever. That's our Instagram handle, right, it is okay, thank you. So. One listener asked, if a guy says he's not ready to date, is it ever okay to circle back later on and see if anything has changed. Oh? My quick answer is no, if he's

saying he's not ready to date. If anybody is saying they're not ready to date you, I think if they want to date you, they're going to have to come find you then, like you circle back and see if anything's changed. No, they should be chasing you, especially if they've already rejected you. If he wants to, he will. If he wanted to, he would. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if he wants to know what you're doing or if

you're still single, he will reach out to you. If he gave you the hint flat out and said he's not ready to date, take that as a sign I mean, that is as clear as it can be. Yeah. I always say, you can't bring someone to ground zero, like I think in relationships we make each other better. But you can't. You can't bring somebody up to like even the willingness to be into in a relationship. They've already got to be there. Look, I'm not here to rag on guys, but most bozos just beat around the bush

and you never know how they stand. If someone's actually willing to tell you how they stand on this, Noah, take them at their word. Believe him. Jamie s, how do you break the pattern of getting ghosted? I'm going to leave this to you because when I started dating that didn't exist. Oh well, you know what, I've never done the dating apps. I haven't. I haven't either, but I will say when I talk to my friends about it.

So if the getting ghosted is in reference to that, I think the biggest thing is it is such a struggle how available other options are. Now. We were talking to somebody the other day, you and I actually did this app developer, and he was saying that he thinks some major issue with dating apps and how they were invented is that they are lacking in ethical conscious design, and the way he put that in Layman's terms was

you've made a human being a swipe. Like you've reduced a human being to a point five second swipe of your finger. And that's even less than Look, I know, we judge people at face value in a bar, just like we do from a photo on an app, But that's a human being in front of you, and you're going to make a decision on whether to talk to them or not. You're going to have to have a conversation. A swipe and texting is so minuscule and so easy to move past, and so easy to reject someone through

a screen. So the advice I always given my friends is I think the biggest way to not get quote unquote ghosted is like you've got to graduate from the apps and from dming into a real phone call into an in person meeting being yes, sooner rather than later, You've got to get there. And if that person's not willing to call you on the phone or meet you for coffee, well then just move on. You have to become more than an Instagram reel or a TikTok video

that they can just scroll through. Y become a human. This is really interesting. I love this question. It's a little deeper, it's a little longer, but stick with me here. I'm having doubts about my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for two to five years and live together. Our lives are so integrated family, friends, home, daily routines, etc. And the thought of starting over is scary. Being in my late twenties, I have a gut feeling that keeps resurfacing,

and I'm terrified of making the wrong choice. I'm not sure I'm in love anymore. Advice. Look, first of all, I know you feel like you are getting older. You may already feel old being in your late twenties. I don't want to be the old guy yelling get off my lawn and that I know so much more than you. But trust me when I tell you that I have

the experience to say this. You are so young, you have so much life to live, and even if you were fifty instead of twenty nine, the advice would actually be the same, and that is live your life and get busy living your life now. You will only regret three years later, five years later, that you didn't do it in your late twenties. Yeah, look, my quick answer here, honestly is I think you have I think this person

has their answer. If you have a gut feeling, if you don't think you're in love anymore, I would say get out. Before you get more integrated into each other's lives. Life is going to throw tough stuff at you automatically, especially the older we get. So if you're already having these major questions, now is the time to go, because your relationships should be in a really still in a really good place, only two to five years in hopefully. And so I think my advice is get out. And

I agree with you. I hate the idea of starting over as a concept of period. Again, Life's going to throw things at us that are going to make us quote unquote start over over and over again. We need a rebranding that phrase. Like my dad died when I was in college. I didn't expect that, but I learned a lot from it. As dark as that time was for me, I look back on some of the silver linings of how it changed my perspective as a young person. How much you know it made me and my family closer.

So I don't think that you know and you got divorced, what in your forties. I did, yeah at forty. I don't know when or where change got such a negative connotation attach it. Change is scary. It's scary, but change can be great. All great things are also change. Everything that's happened in your life that's awesome was a change for the better. I just think there is this I don't know this heaviness now and obviously, with what we've gone through over the last decade, change can be scary,

I get it. But embrace the change and force yourself to change and reinvent yourself. And the fact that you feel this heapiness of having to unwind and your life because you're living together and you are friends with her parents or whatever. Don't be so scared to change. I would be more scared to sit in the same place and be miserable. So true. So there you go. This is a question for you from Paige. Any stepparent tips from el z Oh and you have been amazing in

this department with the kids. The words stepparent always throws me off. From them, I sort of Disney. I need her, Yes, I need a rebranding of stepmom. The stepmom is always the villain as she's evil and some Disney movies, she's trying to kill the kid like the princess. It's not a like the word stepmom has this automatic connotation, right um, And so I guess just like I don't love the word stepmom, I think for me, from the very beginning, I was not trying to be a parent, and I

actually think that's the most important thing I did. You were talking earlier about your kids getting to know you as a parent. I think it was so important that and I did it impart out of a little trepidation about you coming into your kids' lives. I was very nervous about it and very hesitant, but I didn't want to come in as a parent. I thought I had no authority over them. I didn't want to have any authority over them. My first priority was to try to

get to know them. And I always said from the beginning, I want to be someone in your life who loves you, who will support you, who will be there for you. I guess at the most I would say a mentor if you want to come to me for advice, I'm always here, But I'm not your parent, and I don't ever want to try to be. And that I think really just helped us lay the groundwork of a relationship. The best advice I got was actually on a first date about from my perspective, how to bring LZ or

anyone into my kids' lives. So are you talking about it? Do you want to day with someone else? No, I'm confused. Okay, I did. I went on at first date a while back, right after I got divorced, and we were having the conversation. She had kids, I had kids, obviously, and we were having the conversation about when do you introduce somebody, when do you bring them into their lives? And she had a great point, and it's so simple, she said, you know, I asked my kids. I asked my kids what they wanted.

And it's so funny how simple that is. But as parents, when you get divorced, there's so much at stake, and you're so worried about the fact you've screwed up your kids, and so you're trying to protect them. And I was so overly cautious about not bringing anyone around my kids. So finally I took her advice and I came back. Didn't work out in that relationship, but I came back and I said, hey, Josh Taylor, when do you guys want to meet anybody? And they said, Dad, we know

you're dating. We're not idiots, but we don't want to meet everybody. But if they become important enough for you to keep dating, then that means they should be important to us and we should meet them. Maybe they weren't that eloquent at the time, but that was essentially their point. And the main point was this, And this is what would have ruined it for you if I had waited until you and I were hit over heels in love.

I knew I wanted to propose to you. And then I bring you into my kids and say, guys, want you to meet Lauren Ziema. We're getting engaged. She's going to be your step mom. The ship has sailed, and now you're forcing this person down your kid's throats as opposed to they get to know her along with you, and that relationship grows just as your relationship grows. And look, there can still be problems. There's still a lot of other hurdles you can cross, but that helped the kids

getting to know you. And I know you were worried about meeting them too early, but I think them getting to know you as we fell in love more and more was huge because they got to know and love you and they got to see how happy you made their dad. I'm gonna ask you a quod I'm gonna ask you before because I'm just thinking about it. The risk there, right is your kids getting close with someone and then you're breaking up with that person. Yeah, were

you afraid of that at all? When? Like, because I meant the kids fairly early on, but I will say they were teenagers, so they weren't like young kids. They weren't so impressionable. But I mean, look, I didn't have a revolving door of women, and so I think or men by the way, either way, this goes for women and men, whether you're a single mom, single dad. I think there is that case and that fear of don't have a revolving door of people in and out of

your life. Hopefully you narrow it down to people that are special to you and that you see a future with. And I waited till I thought in my heart we were going to at least date for quite some time. So that's the game. We were going to have a relationship. This wasn't just I'm going to call her up and see what she's doing Thursday. This may have potential. I really thought, this is someone who's going to be in my life and she's important to me. I want her

to start meeting the kids. It didn't mean I ready to marry you by any means. We weren't at that point. But are we now to the wedding questions? But anyway, so yeah, I think it was just you've done a phenomenal job at that though, and you did such a a well, you have great kids, babe. It's easy. So we're going to end this episode with the Kicker. Okay, back in my newsdays we called it the kicker on the on the funny note, what is a quirk about

each other? Personality, hygiene, habits? Really a question from someone? Yes, Windy, this is from Windy. What's a quirk about each other that surprised you? It's like, once we started dating, what is something that you After we lived together and started moving in together and integrating our lives, what's something that

you thought, Oh dear lord, oh okay, I know. Um. So when we moved in together sooner than we thought we would have because of the pandemic, right, um, and then we were stuck inside the house, and I was going a little stir crazy. So I love to organize, and I'm like, Okay, this is Chris's house he moved into after he got divorced. Like, first of all, I have to make a little room for some of my stuff. But second of all, you know, the house hadn't gotten

a lot of attention in recent years. So I'm like, I'm gonna organize the house. I'm gonna revamp the kid's rooms, will like do some redecorating. If we're going to be in this house, let's make the space great. You guys. Chris Harrison is a put together man on the surface. I mean, the hair is done, you know, the beard is trimmed. He can wear a suit, he can help you pick out an outfit. He has great taste. He

just he looks good. But literally behind closed doors, like I'm saying, the surfaces of his kitchen counter are clean, but you open a cabinet, stuff comes pouring out. I couldn't believe it. I'm not a great organizer. I'm not a great organizer. I went room my room through this house, like so obviously i'd been there. I'd stay the night, but I'd never like opened cabinets and kind of gone through things, and oh my gosh, literally in one cabinet,

one cabinet just had a like empty cardboard boxes. It's like, what are you doing with these? Being a single dad post divorce when I moved in, you know, I don't know if other dads, other guys can relate to this and other women, but I just kind of started throwing stuff in places and then it never laughs yeah, and it never leaves it. And you have all these keepsakes, right, you have stuff you've kind of acquired, so you know, kids, art projects and just stuff that you're like, what do

I do with this? And so instead of making a decision because your life has been so crazy, you're like, just put it in a drawer, put it in a show, like just I'll deal with it some other time. You want to really know, how do you get to know somebody? Let them go through every inch of your life in your house. I will say I actually felt it made me feel like, Okay, this guy really loves me and

he really has nothing to hide. Because I didn't warn him about this, and I was already living there, I just said, hey, I'm going to organize the whole house. And he was like, Okay, go for it. And I thought, oh wow, he's really He's letting me in a lot of pictures and a lot of things that, you know, a perspective. He didn't have any slip he didn't have any Scaleton's in your class. No, but so I let you,

let you go through everything. He would come to me with some pictures and like, oh yeah, that's that's from my past. I guess one that stuck out for you, what like I'm quirky, Kirk would be the quirk you were. I knew your love of theater, you know. I loved you on Roses and Rose as everyone did, and obviously I watched you do grand theater on a large scale on TV and entertainment tonight. I didn't know it would always come home with you. I didn't come out. I

didn't know that was that Hepburn? Who was that? My trans Atlantic vice? What do you mean? What are you saying? I didn't know I would be getting back. I didn't know I'd be getting married. Guys, this is twenty four seven. I didn't know I'd be getting married. Oh I knew you love Harry Potter but I didn't know. I didn't do Voldemort on the first date. For the second or third it was a while. It actually was a while,

and you still don't love it. You love a lot of things about me, but I know you don't love the Valdimore. It's not my favorite. It's the face you make, the impression I have to kind of make. You have to make your face look sort of malleable and mushy because of the different stages of his body that he's coming back into as he uses the horcruxes to come back to life and a human vice. I'm gonna go

back to. Let me tell you what. You don't want your significant other to ever look like malleable and mushy. That's two sexy worse. Okay, baby, you look malleable and mushy tonight. And if I'm doing my Voldemort impression, thank you for You're welcome, thank you. But yeah, so that would be for me. There was There's a lot of voices that come with l Z. Okay, I will say, maybe this is a dating tip. A friend of mine told me. She said, I'm not going to date someone

who doesn't want me exactly as I am. I don't hid anything like from date one. That's a mistake. I don't agree. Here's why we all have different versions of ourselves for different settings. I'm not going to do my voldemorret impression at an interview, at a business meeting with someone. I'm not going to do it. You know, the first time I meet, I don't know what you want to sleep with exactly, But wait till on year ten we hook up. We do Voldemore cosplay just get its dark maybe,

but I do I do think that. Like Look, the question wasn't whether you would accept me fully as myself from day one. The question was ultimately would you love me fully as myself? But I do think that that full self can be revealed over time. Look, when we are dating, you always ask yourself the question, can I accept this person as they are? I'm not ever telling you to lie. When you're dating somebody, you just don't have to show them the whole truth and nothing but

the truth. Yet it needs to be a slow rollout, you know, take it easy. You know, you don't have to vomit everything about you and show everything all at once. Harry Potter is on a date. On that note, we're gonna say goodbye because Lauren and I have a lot to talk about. Thank you guys so much for all your questions. This has always been important to us that the show is about you and it's with you, and taking your questions is a vital part of that. And

we're going to do more and more. We're gonna open the phone lines coming up. We'll continue to have great guests and great headlines, but want to talk more about these relationships and dive into it with you. We'll talk to you next time because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.