This is the most traumatic podcast ever, and iHeartRadio podcast.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you doing this in general, much less the day after the derby. This seemed like a great idea. I'm going to do a post Kentucky Derby show with Bob Guiney because it means so much to him. Let's just do it the morning after. God, it was a terrible idea.
It seemed like a great idea when you brought it up. And now I have no voice and I'm getting on a plan.
So yeah, Bob Ginny just walked in my hotel room so we could record this. He was kind enough to bring a bottle of gatorade in two waters. As you know. Here's the thing. This weekend has reminded me how much I love you and adore you and why we are such good friends. And then last night, I guess this morning has reminded me, well, why we can't hang out.
No, No, two of us together is just a bad mix.
The last thing we I think we complus last night was all dancing in your room at three o'clock in the morning.
Yep, that's pretty much it. That's the last thing I have in my repertoire for the.
Weekend in the memory, You've been coming to the Derby for how many years?
Eighteen?
This was eighteen. It's something that we have been talking about doing together for eighteen years. Yeah, I mean since you started this, And obviously I was busy handing out roses around the world and always got home the week after the Derby, so it just never worked out for eighteen years. Finally Lauren and I were able to come and do this and it was awesome.
You know, it's such a perfect fit for you. I mean, someone who you know, you actually know a lot about the horses and horse racing and things of that nature.
But I mean everyone just the door'd haven you guys.
Here, Louisville, the Derby, everything was just spot on. We had an absolute blast. The only thing that didn't make it out was our dignity in your voice exactly, you know, I always know that was always your thing. Bob loses his voice.
That's crazy for someone who's like a singer, because I'm like my job, my whole life. It's like you would think I'd have vocal stability, but I do not.
What is it about this because now you're a married man with kids, and it's not so easy for you to leave home and do things like this. Why is the Derby, Like, why is this such a thing for you? Why do you want to come back here every year?
I think the fact that it falls on my birthday weekend, Yes, it is always a big deal. And then I think it's just the same group of people doing the same thing. It's like a consistency and that and that friendship.
And then I really love what the York Sisters do. Uh.
They they commit to giving all this money to charities, and so it means a lot to me.
It's not just another like, yeah, you know, show up at the opening of a Kroger type of thing.
It's like, actually, you you show those pay well?
All those are great and I do enjoy a pastry section.
And if you need, Bob and I for any Kroger. No, we love it, We love it.
But I just I love their commitment to the charities and they and they give them. They're almost all children related charities, and that just means something to.
Me and you. For you, I know it's your your best friends are here, your dear friend Warre Moon of course NFL legend. Jimmer's not athletic at all, but still still a friend of yours. Yes, surprisingly he was on the show, right, No, he wasn't.
Jimmers was not. No, Jimmers was my brother in law's best friend growing up.
Okay, so my brother in law came into my life in tenth grade and he's you know, quite a few years older than me, and Jimmer is in between us age. Why so, so I related more to Jimmer and we just became fast friends.
So Elsie and I of course talked about our Derby experience and all that. But this thing has definitely become a marathon, not a sprint. It is extended into three full days of it has become the super Bowl. It's become you know, Marty Gral, It's an event. It's it started the day you guys got your Thursday Friday's the Oaks, and then the Unbridled ef party we went to, and then you have the Derby and then after parties. It's this thing is it's a long run.
It's a long run, and it's not like I mean, you know, back in the day, it would have been a different experience. Just I mean, you know, I'm hydrating a lot. So the fact that I lost my voice is surprising to me, but it happens.
So I know why you do this, the brotherhood, and you really love it. It means a lot to you. But how difficult are these times? Now? You have a one year old, you're a four year old, it's not easy to leave home? Now how much does your wife hate you?
A lot? Right now?
She's not here, so I know she couldn't make the trip because we are Our childcare option fell through, and so I came alone. And yeah, the guilt is just off the charts.
As it married. Being married is one thing. Being married with kids is totally different because the guilt thing is real, whether she imposes it or not. It's yeah, many times, and much of it is self imposed because you just know you're leaving her in hell.
I mean, and I'm out here, you know, just having the time of my life.
So because you have a one year old, a four year old, that means they're not probably keeping through the night. Somebody's sick, somebody's doing something, someone's crying, someone got hurt, or even if things are perfect, it's still a lot. And so how how do you weigh those things? How do you guys get through it? As a couple.
I just like everyone else.
I mean, you know, it's one of those things where even though a lot of our lives are lived in front of other people, the truth be told, we're just a normal couple like everyone else.
So we struggle through that stuff.
I'm gonna go home today and try and act like I'm not hungover, and you know, put in a full day whatever it needs to be done, take the boys and you know. But but my wife really does. She does all the heavy lifting.
That is key, the you know, the returning from a trip and saying you're tired, acting tired. That is the only thing worse than going on the trip, is that move.
Yeah, if you go home and lay on the couch, you're done.
You better suck it up.
Yeah yeah, I will be high energy all day long and my voice will hopefully I have restored by then.
And she'll never know the wiser.
Yeah. Oh, I'm sure she has no idea. You parted like a rock s Yeah, right, but it is as a when you were in a relationship like that, even the best of them, it's not easy. No, And is she not to put her on the spot, but was she supportive of all this or at times even if she is supportive, is it still you have those conversations of sure, you're son of a bitch for people, Oh.
Yeah, she's she's super supportive. I mean, you know, one of the things I love about my wife is we are it's it's interesting. It's a great balance. Like she doesn't have any interest in She won't walk the red carpet with me nine times out of ten.
Not that she doesn't love me and support me, she just doesn't care.
And you know, and it doesn't it's not something that's in her wheelhouse. But she understands what I do, and she's been, you know, so supportive.
It's been great.
You know, I was just thinking, and I don't know why this just dawned on me, but you are kind of in the situation that I was in when we met, when you were when you were bachelor. Joshua was born, he was young, Taylor was born rite at Ryan and Trista's wedding, and so they even they were a little younger than even your kids now. But yeah, so we we've switched places, we have, but we're the same age
and were the same age. And by the way, I can't begin to tell you how much I I honestly love the fact now that I do see people like you, everything's kind of switched and I've gotten to watch everybody go through what I had been going through when I was working on the show. Whether it's Ari and Laura and Ryan and Trista, yourself. You know, everybody has Sean
and Catherine have you know, fifty kids? I think, I think, But it's fun to watch all of you, and it's fun to watch all of you also no offense struggle with it. Just like I was back in the.
N I don't know how you did it. I really don't know how you did it.
I mean, your schedule was so crazy back then.
I couldn't even imagine being in your shoes with the way I am not with my kids.
And as much as I want to.
Be there, that's the thing, even even a weekend like this, that means a lot to you. And it's a tradition. You know, your kids will get to an age. It's easy when they're four and one to a certain degree, but next thing you know, there's gonna be lacrosse playoffs or a piano recital or who knows that the father son camp out whatever that stuff. You just there's no way all of a sudden, these things become so minuscule in your life.
These will be secondary, you know. And I and and I know that. I think that was partially this year when our child care fell through and my wife was like, you know, I'll stay home, you know, you go ahead. I think part of it was that, I mean, part of it was this isn't gonna last forever, you know.
And so I mean I always thought about that.
Like after the Bachelor stuff, I remember thinking to myself, like, there's bound to be a Flavor of the month guy that's gonna take my place.
It's gonna happen any day, and you know, so I'm like.
I might as well enjoy these moments while they while they come, because odds are they're not gonna last forever, you know, And they've lasted way longer than I anticipated.
How has being a dad changed you? Like, what do you think is the biggest change?
I don't even I mean, I think the fact that I don't even think I knew what love was until I had my kids. Yeah, I love my wife very much, but you know, there's a car coming and it's gonna hit the kids.
I'm you know, to quote Ryan Reynolds, I'll use it as a human shield.
Right. It's like, you know, I love my wife to death, but it's like you don't know love until you realize that you've created life. And and then you have these kids that just everything revolves around what you can provide for.
Them every waking moment. Yeah, you either think about them, worry about them, wonder about them. And you and I talked about this. I think it was yesterday when you brought it up. You're like, I don't know what I did.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know how I thought my life was busy. I don't know how I thought my life was filled until this. Like, yes, it's so different.
I can say that truthfully.
Like I I when after we hit grat Soon, our first son, it was kind of interesting because as we were getting ready to have Blake, I'm like, oh my god, I'm I capable of loving someone else as much as I love Grayson, you know, And how am I going to be a good dad?
What do I have to do?
And you know, but I had a great example with my dad. My dad was the best man I've ever met in my life. And so for me, like I at least I can do the siest version of me trying to be my dad.
It would be the greatest dad hopefully ever.
And the funny thing is, I'm sure you thought you were busy when you guys had Grayson. Yeah, yeah, and you're like, oh man, this is nuts. And then when you have two.
You know the second one, you know, it's funny. I feel like, I mean, I'm fifty two.
By the way, happy birthday. Thanks. I wish we were going to all be together just one more night so we could celebrate your birthday. Although we did do a good job of it last night.
He celebrated very well.
Jeff Ruby's let's give a shout out.
Oh great time.
We had a spectacular dinner at this We were staying at the Gold House, which is right here in the middle of Louisville downtown and there's this spectacular steakhouse. It's like the premier steakhouse is And I'm getting nothing for this. We paid for dinner full last night. Trust me, we all paid it full last night. But man, was it
worth it. And it was really cool because so not to dive into the horse racing thing, but I did pick no, I did pick the winner of the derby, but Mage was the winning horse, and the winning connection showed up, meaning the owners. Javier Costellano, the jockey that won the derby, came in and here's what's cool. I mean, just everybody in the restaurant got up standing ovation. It
was so fricking cool. And we had a great dinner of Warren Warren Moon, one of our local sheriffs who takes care of us, and Dora who is spectacular, and then you know, l Z was there and Jimmer's and Lisa. We had a great crew and celebrated your birthday last night, saying you have had your birthday very nice. We got your cheesecake.
Is that it?
Cheesecake? Guy?
But yeah, you know, as we were singing to you and you dove in, I thought, I don't know if I would have gotten your.
Cheesecake, probably wouldn't have been my first choice.
But okay, I enjoyed it. So I do still know you well enough.
You do.
Indeed, obviously we met what is it eighteen years?
What was it three?
So twenty years ago? So it's your fifty second birthday, ye, happy birthday, and it's our twentieth anniversary something twenty years together.
It's a long time to be friends, it really is.
I mean I always say of anything that came out of the silly show that we did together, the friendships, the lasting friendships, you know, there was you, and then Firestone came shortly after, and we actually facetimed him last night with Yvonna and his kids. I should have mentioned them to those beautiful kids and the guy they just put out. They put out spectacularly good.
Look they really well.
I mean, yeah, yeah, doesn't fall You have those two ingredients as the primary kicker.
You're gonna have good looking kids.
But those friendships have been the best part. Yeah, you were early days. I don't want to say you were experimental, but it was still.
I think I was experimental. I mean, you know Andrew uh so so uh.
Of course there was Alex Michelle, and then trist Aaron Burgi, then Andrew Firestone. Uh yeah, Trista, then Andrew Firestone, then me, right, and I think, uh, you know, the the mold wasn't me. The mold was you know A you know, I mean Andrew Firestone I believe is the premier bachelor of all time, right, I think Ari Ham, you know, Prince Lorenzo burgh Azy, like, there's these guys that you know they have that it's like a it's almost like Prince Charming, you know, life.
In your mind.
And even though Andrew is one of the most down to earth guys you've ever met in your life, he still has a firestone, which is pretty significant.
And here I come.
You know, my dad's a Detroit cop and I'm like, hey, guys, you know and uh, but it was such a fun time and I owe so much to you because, as you know, I think you you really put a stamp on the show without being the lead of the show technically, right, you were the only consistent person that was You're the face of the Bachelor franchise. It's not the Bachelor. It's like,
whoever that Bachelor guy isn't handing out flowers? That was secondary because it was always Chris Harrison, and they knew that was the one.
Thing they could count on.
And what a lot of people don't realize is how much you know, mentoring you did behind the scenes to keep people sane.
I mean, because it's a crazy experience.
Yeah, it's nuts, and it was in you know, I say it was early days for you just because We didn't have it figured out yet. It wasn't fully baked now. The idea was still evolving and you'd had a little success, but we weren't great at what we were doing yet. We could build TV and make TV, but it was there was this human aspect that we weren't great at yet, unfortunately for you, and you were. You were shaking up the snow globe a little bit. You were breaking the mold.
You know, everyone kind of fell in love with you on trist A season. You were like the you know, the happy, go lucky guy or whatever. And what was interesting was when you came in. I remember this because so for people that don't remember, because you were four years old when Bob was on. So you came in in a boot. You you would just either rupture your achilles or something.
Yeah, I just had I had just had reconstructive knee surgery, right, and then I rushed back, excuse me, and I rupture my achilles as well.
So Bob came on trist A season. Let's let's just say a little bit chubby.
You were.
You were the chubby guy, but you were like the chubby, funny guy. And he had a boot on. He had just had surgery put on thirty pounds, but he had everybody in stitches and is as is still the case, he's the pipe piper when Bob walks in a room. He's just one of those people you can't help it. All of a sudden, you're having fun, you're dancing, and
you realize you're going to be with this guy. And then we decided, let's, you know, let's go the kind of I don't want to say Anti Andrew Firestone, but it was a different look of the show, like let's bring in this guy who was maybe a little little bit chubby, yeah, and funny and you know, the everyday guy Detroit, Michigan. Yeah, and you came in and you're like, well that wasn't really me, dude, I'm a football player, I'm fit. I'm like, that's not.
When I came back as the Bats, I remember everyone going, you know, I mean, because.
You were ripped and in shape.
Yeah.
The articles that.
You know when you're when you're putting a show like that, Yeah, you're just a normal dude. And so your mom is at the grocery store and looking at us weekly and the headlines are like, you know, did he get plastic surgery, Like did this happen? And my mom's like, what's going on. I'm like, I don't know. I'm like I have no idea. It's like I'm just nowing back to my normal self and everyone thinks I'm, you know, doing something different.
But it's funny though you were time stamped in everyone's head during just the season.
Yeah, and you know it was kind of interesting.
I mean, just the season was so awesome because you know, we go on that show and you know, like you said, it wasn't fully baked yet.
Yeah.
I think the creators of the show and the prisoner of the.
Show wanted it to be more drama, whereas we're thirty or twenty five guys hang out going Man, we really like each other.
And al y'all's group, especially this ridicule. Yeah, and I will to this day say that was the greatest collection of guys if you look top to bottom. I mean, that was like the twenty seven Yankees.
Genuinely loved each other.
Like I remember one day I got in a lot of trouble. You weren't at the house this day. Sure you saw the footage, but we're all on the hot toob hanging out like the one.
Day and visally, let me say, for what we did back then, is the bachelor stay or this was the bacherette. Obviously Trista the bachorette had a mansion, so the bachelorette stayed at the mansion or the bachelor. It wasn't the guys or the girls. The guys or girls had their own kind of compound or their own house. And so the whole thing was switched. I forget when we even started switching it, when the guys or the girls the
contestants started staying there. But so Trista would have the main house, and like when you were the bachelor, you stayed at the main house. And then we would find some and the idea for you guys was let's find kind of a dorm room kind of place, right, and it turned into a f I had.
We had bunk beds basically much like Bachelor Pad and all that stuff had And I remember Ryan was my Ryan Sutter was my my kind of roommate, right, And what I thought was so funny about that show was, I mean we would talk about everything because you know, you have nothing else to talk about, and I mean that's that's where the meat and potatoes come from right. So you know, all you can talk about is Trista. You can't really talk about current events. You're not looking
at a television, you can't read a book. And I remember there was, for whatever reason, it kept coming up that you know, you played football in college. You you walked on as a quarterback and you earned a scholarship or whatever, And I'm like, hold on, do you know that Ryan is not a firefighter. He was a professional football player for the Baltimore Ravens and he hasn't said anything to anyone. I was more in love with Ryan, I think than anybody, and it was because he was.
Stuff.
Absolute stud ended up being on the Baltimore he was a professional.
Football player and he was he was about to make it again with the Saints before he like last day he blew out his achilles. I think it was, yeah, that maybe maybe they're just all around athlete that's ever come to the show. That guy is a freak.
He's a freaking nation.
Yeah he now he does you know, triathlons and everything else, and but he didn't talk about it, you know, And it was embarrassing for me to have to talk about the basically I was basically a party planner in college. I mean that was like the football team's party planner. And here you have this guy who is just a beast who doesn't talk about it, and I'm like, come on, dude, you gotta talk about it.
You went pretty far. How quickly did you know it was over? And it was Ryan?
Oh my god. Well, I'll never forget we were.
I mean, Charlie was a part of that mix.
Charlie was in the mix.
Yeah, but I remember and and I love Charlie.
I mean he and I are still friends of this day too.
But I remember being on a group date with Trista and we're on a hammock and it's it's basically time to make out with trusta day, right, and I'm just like, I can't do it.
I just can't do it.
And so we really got on this hammock and she's talking to me about something and I just go, you know, I think I should. I think it's probably time for me to go home. And I'm like, I, you know, I don't know when you're what just actually said to me. She goes when I'm with you, I come home and everyone's like reading the Bible. But when you're at home with the guys and I'm on a different date, I come home and it's like a frat party.
People are like, I'm like, what am I supposed to do? Like get mad?
You're dating twenty of my friends. Yeah, but it was like the focus was just different. I mean Ryan was so laser focused and the rest of us were just a bunch of jackasses having a great time.
Yeah we're playing checkers.
Oh he was playing jazz. He was head and shouldrens above us. Yeah.
Yeah, And I think that's kind.
Of where you start to realize, you know, that's why they have a real relationship to this day. It wasn't manufacturing for TV. It was genuine, truly was.
Yeah.
I remember coming over one night because so you know, back in the day, again, there was no real rules, even for me. I would just kind of come hang out with you guys from time to time and have a beer and hang out and chat. And so I remember coming over one day though, and all of the pool furniture was on the roof. You guys had set the entire pool furniture set up on the roof. Were just that somebody. I remember Jamie was eating dog food. At one point, you guys put one of the guys
out in the yard. You picked French Jack, French you put you picked up his bed and he was passed out asleep, and you guys carried him outside and he didn't wake up until the sprinklets came. So stupid, I mean, but that's funny. That stuff just doesn't happen anymore, that chemistry. And I think because the show is not what it was as far as the innocence of naivete and so it's not it's not anything against anyone who comes after you guys, but now people have a different mindset and
a different goal when they come in. Sure, you guys, because it didn't exist, didn't think, Hey, how can I get the most followers follow What can I say that's going to be perfect? You know, what's really going to make America love me? And how am I going to be endearing? And how am I going to you know, sell shoes or face.
Kid?
Yeah?
Exactly, Yeah, I think that you know, it's funny. Russ it yeah, Russ, I forget his last name from Arizona.
Yeah, but he Russ was the only one that came in with a gift and I remember he gave Trista something from Tiffany's that he had like engraved for her or something, and we're all like, who the hell is this guy?
What's this?
You know, it was like you know, now they come in on horses and do all sorts of crazy stuff. All Russ was doing was being considerate and kind and you know, thoughtful, and we were all like, what the hell, Like, what's this guy doing? And he somehow got cast as a villain when he wasn't a villainous guy. Yeah, he was a really kind and nice guy and you know, it was one of the but but we also really liked him too. Like it was, you know, it's not the caddy stuff that I think people go in there now.
But there wasn't social media. I think at best it was my space back then.
Right, Yeah, someone may have written a blog.
Yeah there's a chat room here and there.
You know.
Yeah, it was very innocent and well and it allowed us as producers. But also is the show to just shoot the entire show and then show it to you as we intended it, right, which sometimes is good. Sometimes it is bad because honestly, it allows you to change things, manipulate things, whatever, but it allowed us to put this thing in the can. You guys would could go be
quiet because you weren't being followed. There was no way to kind of expose, say, say Bob Ginny went back and went on a date, because heaven forbid, you're off the show for five months.
Date.
You know, it's not it's not all over the network. And so it just allowed everybody to escape a little bit more and enjoy the show how we intended it, how it should have been.
I think that's I think that's true.
I think now it's just you know, that was a different beast that yeah became. It became such a part of the fabric of our you know, our daily like water cooler conversations at work and things of that. Nature of the show became such a big deal. And you know, it's fun though. I mean, you know, I think you and I both this weekend realized how much people resonate with, especially our era the show. You know, they were i mean, your era obviously spans much further than mine, but they're they're.
Like, those are the good old days. Oh my god, it was so great.
That it is awesome. I mean, I will say, well, I'll tap us both on the shoulder. As you know, we spent a lot of time together this weekend. I mean our hotel rooms are literally like across from each other.
It was a long walk with my water bottles here.
It was.
And so we've spent a lot of time together this weekend, which has been amazing because you've also gotten to know Lauren. Yeah, she's wonderful, which obviously has changed my life. And yeah, then as you said last night, you're like, I think I've been best friends with her forever.
God, how have I not met her a thought time?
That's LZ. Anyone who meets her, she is contagious. When when that gets in your blood, it's over. And so it's been awesome for me to see you get to know her and spend some time, you know, because people are so important in my life. I'm like, okay, I need you have to meet Z. And so this has
been this has been coming for a long time. But going to the track hanging out and there was you know, one hundred and fifty thousand people there yesterday, it was just it was fun to me to be with you and have people come up to us NonStop and take pictures and just talk about the good old days, how much they loved and appreciated just what we were doing back then, which which is still wonderful. And people always apologize, and I always say, please, first of all, they're being wonderful,
their being kind. I'm like, don't apologize. It changed our lives.
It really did.
I mean, I, you can't do a show like that, And then.
Well, I guess, I guess you can.
Yeah, I did.
A show like that, and I was so fortunate that I was treated nicely in the editing bay. And you know, from that from that point on, you know, I've always had people be so kind to me. And it's never been a thing where, you know, yeah, I might be eating and they come over. I'm like, that's awesome, thank you, you know, thanks for caring. You know, It's never been a thing where I feel like I take it for granted, or or I think I'm too important to take a minute to take a picture of someone.
I'm like, oh, you'll get guys up.
Like a certain someone we saw yesterday who was in our area, legendary singer who just walked by Bob and I and then walked through the entire crowd, would not make eye contact, would not smile, would not I'm like, and I looked at you and I said, man, I hope we never act like.
I love that, you know, I hope we're never too I thought. I I think what you said was like something like, I hope I'm never too self important to be kind. Yeah, and I and I thought that was a really great thing to say, because it's true.
Like like there's Allerson didn't have to stop and anything, but it just show to say hi, just say yeah, Hi, smile like you know, people are kind of looking at you as you're walking through. It's like it's okay to make eye contact, and so you don't you know, I get it if you don't want to like spend your day glad handing everybody, because there's times when you just don't. But it was just interesting to see. And I was like,
we you and I are the juxtaposition. We're just like like you want to hug, you want to And so it was even last night when uh, you know, we hung out with the jockey Hovey Or Castellano, the winner of the Dort. We took a picture with him last night. It was just it's been really fun to be back in this cause I haven't been it with you in a long time, A lot of time. Yeah, And it's fun to step in it, you know, with them, with Andrew Firestone or if I go whoever I'm visiting at
the time. It's that that's a cool thing. So you go on after Trist's season, yep, obviously there was a season in between, and then we do you as the Bachelor, your name the Bachelor, right, be honest, at the end of all of it, was that a good thing or a bad thing for you to be the Bachelor? Oh?
I think it was.
I think it was a great thing. I think you know, it's interesting though I didn't want to do it. I was the lovable loser from Trist' to season right, so I was in this spot that was just it was fun. There was no pressure and and so I was kind of like, I don't think I want to be the Bachelor guy.
Because at that time.
The show was always edited that whoever the runner up was is the one that got all the FaceTime, right, so that person was going to be and then whoever you choose is almost like a disappointment. And in the way that they edited the show, and I remember thinking, God, I just don't want that kind of pressure and what if I if there isn't someone for me there, And
you know, I was worried about that. And but I'm so thankful that I did the show because it really did kind of set the tone for me in a lot of ways how I wanted to be perceived from my people. You know, I was, I came off the show. I was exactly who I was on the show, and you know, and I set the bar very low for myself, I guess in that regard, So you know, it wasn't really having to strive too hard to reach the what people would expect from me.
But I was lucky.
I mean, I think I think it was a different time of the show, a huge time of the show, like thirty million viewers back.
Yeah, it was massive. It was easily the number one show on TV. We had thirty plus million viewers watching the show. I mean, it was outdrawing the Oscars, out drawing the World Series. I remember there's this old magazine that I can't explain what a magazine is, just google it, but Sports Illustrated came out and they always had this little box. It was like the sign of the apocalypse. It was like, okay, sign that the world has changed.
And it was like Bachelor out draws the World Series, and I was like, this show was just a monster back then.
That had to be crazy for you.
Well, it was because I you know, it was like I always say, it was like go into the NFL your first year and you go straight to the super Bowl and win because it was my first network gig. Yeah, and so I knew the show was big. I knew my life was changing, but I didn't understand how because I hadn't been in the league for a while. Sure, if you're a veteran. I was a rookie, and I'm just like, okay, is this good? Is this bad? Like, yeah, no,
thirty three million's pretty good. You're kind of crushing it. And so, and it wasn't just you know, the entertainment shows and entertainment magazines that were so prominent at the time that we're talking about us. It was Time Magazine, it was the New York Times. It was like the every radio station you turned on on it was actually on Wednesdays back then. I think still we were I
think going against the West wing. It was either or Ally McBeal was on at the time and so we would get up on Thursdays and it was just bonkers. Everybody was talking about this show.
I was so afraid I was going to be the one that took it, took it down, Like I remember, I remember when they.
I was worried about that.
When they asked me to be the Bachelor, I was just like, God, I can't, I can't take this down. And what's really interesting now with you know, the podcasts and stuff that we both are involved in, I've gotten to know some of the newer bachelors, you know, like I got to meet a couple of the guys most recently, like Clayton and the most recent Bachelor as well.
And man, I feel like.
These guys have so much pressure on them, like they're so scared the franchise is going to.
Go down with them at the Helm.
And I told him, I my guys twenty years ago, I felt the exact same way.
I get it.
I was mostly concerned that it was going to be the worst rated season or you know, it's just going to be a dumpster fire with me on.
It, I don't know the new guys that obviously I'm not a part of it, and so I I don't know them, but I've I've run into a couple of people at you know, iHeart events or whatever, and one of the recent bachelorettes, and tell me, if if you get you get this vibe. So and by the way, Bob does an amazing podcast with Trista. Yes, the godmother of the franchise. God Yes, and you're like the odd step uncle.
I'm I'm the u.
So I always say she's the fairy godmother and I am clearly.
The grandfather, the creepy grandfather, the creepy grandpa. But I met them, and tell me, if you feel this. They don't seem happy as they come off. It's it's I don't know if it's the pressure of it all, if it's it's everything. But I I talked to a few of them and I left thinking, Wow, they just have so much angst and anxiety, and it's I don't know if they're just worried about if I come off wrong or if I'm if I say the wrong thing, I'm
going to be canceled, if you know. I just think there's so much pressure put on the franchise, on them, maybe by society, maybe by themselves too self imposed. Sure, but I just feel this weight I.
Think in social media, honestly, I really do. Like you know, they go on the show and and you know the difference between when we well, when I was doing the show and now, I mean, we didn't have Facebook, Instagram, any of that stuff.
You got to someone hated you and Poughkeepsie.
Or yeah, you probably wouldn't know.
You're probably not gonna know about it, but.
Man, now you hear about it.
And I think I think there's a lot of I think there's a lot of just aggression. You know, people sitting mind a keyboard and say whatever they want to say. And I think these guys.
There's no culpability, there's no culpability, no responsibility for what you're saying, and you don't.
It hurts, you know, it hurts to hear of these things and right or wrong. And I would see a nice thing about myself and I'd go, oh, that's a nice thing. I'd see like I'd see twenty nice things. Wouldn't resonate with me, see one mean thing. I couldn't forget it for months, And you know, people, I think forget that. These guys are just real normal people, you.
Know, and they are and they you're right. And that's the thing is people think, well, they put themselves on TV, they signed up for this. And I always said, you know why I defended everybody is no, they really don't know what they signed up for because you can't possibly understand what it's like to be shot out of a cannon and have your hair lit on fire. Yeah, you can watch it a million times, but until you are shot out of that cannon, you're like, oh, now I
get it. Yeah, now I get it, and you know, you grab and.
It makes you paranoid.
I mean I remember, I remember coming off the show. I mean, gosh, this is two thousand and three and I come back to my home in Michigan and I owned a home. It was a small, you know, Q little house and everything. I come home and uh, National inquirers at my front you'll lawn, and I'm like, oh my god, Like you.
Know what am I supposed to do?
Like how do I act?
Like do I do I just you know, move past them and ignore them, lawn, But what do I do in my hands? You know, how do I hold my face? And you don't know? And you know, I mean I think about things like even back then, you know, the things that would get like micro analyzed or or you're
hyper analyzed. I remember, you know, Meredith was on my season before Speaking the Best, and we went to her grandmother's grave site, which I was really against because in my mind, I was like, I don't think our relationship.
Is there yet.
I don't want to exploit it with her.
Mom and dad right with me, and but I remember, we're approaching the site and I go to, you know, as one would, I go to put my arm around her, like, you know, her shoulder area, right, and I'll never forget. I get home, you know, after we're done filming, and there's a thing in us weekly and it looks like my hands on her.
Butt and it was just rising, but it.
Was just rising to go to our shoulder. And they're like, what kind of pig would you.
Know feel up a girl?
Feel up a girl in a grave site? I'm like what I mean?
And then it's like do I do I defend myself, Like do I speak out against this or do I just you know, take it in your mind.
Everyone's seeing that and you don't know.
If it's you know, and you're right in your mind, you're in the middle of this tempest and it feels so big. So it feels so and you know, trying to help everybody navigate that. And you you didn't have an easy time coming out of the show.
Yeah, well because I didn't you know, I didn't propose and that was a big deal. And then, you know, I did meet someone shortly after we were you know, after the finale and everything. I met who I ended up marrying subsequently divorcing, but she's you know, uh, it was. It was interesting because the way everyone viewed it was, oh my god, the dude leaves the show and now he's with a soap opera.
Person's right. The show got done filming in July.
Guys, especially back then, there was a long break between stopping the filming and then the show would air. And you weren't in love with who you had finished the show with, and nothing against her, It's just that's the way it was. There was no chemistry and the relationship wasn't gonna work, and you had already moved on met somebody ironically kind of doing some Bachelor stuff.
Yeah, I did a show. I did a show that made fun of the Bachelor. Uh, basically, make you fun of me. I went on and like we would, you know, go through episodes and I would just rip on myself basically, which I loved. And uh, and the girl that hosted that show, I ended up marrying her. It was kind of funny, but uh, but yeah, it was. It was a tough time, and I think one of the cool things. You know, and I'm sure this happens a lot, but thankfully,
you know, I chose Estella. Uh and Kelly Joe is my runner up, and thankfully I'm still friendly with both of them. You know, are so thankful for that, because yeah, like Estella just got married and you know, there's so much going on in her life. And then Kelly Joe's got like three kids, I think, and she's you know,
the married to a hockey player. And I mean, it's just they were both such cool people and to go through that kind of weird experience with someone, I was just thankful that we have each other to kind of talk about it.
With, right, I mean, because you can only only those people will truly understand how nuts it was, and especially for you and Estella, it was. It was a lot.
It was crazy.
Yeah, we we I I remember feeling so bad for her because you know at the time, like I said, it was always geared towards the runner.
Up to be the big revealed.
Yeah, and I remember I was like, god it, Stella deserves more than this. Like people are just like, why did you pick Kelly Joe? You know, and I was like, you haven't gotten to know Stella.
She's wonderful. I mean, she was such a wonderful person.
It's such a wonderful it feels. So I don't know the end of your show for how light and fun it was, did it feel a little dark?
Oh it was heavy.
Yeah. Well, I think the hardest part about being on a show like that is you're whether you've been someone who dates a bunch of people or not. I mean, you are legitimately hurting people's feelings and who have never done anything wrong. Because there the entire five weeks you've been on the well back then we filmed over five weeks. The five weeks you've been there, it's just been all
about you. It's they they are, you know, everything is about them basically telling you that you're the greatest thing on earth, right, and now you're breaking up with them.
And I remember Kelly Joe.
I don't know if you remember the scene where she like, I mean, she literally like I'm holding her hands. I'm like, but she just throws her hands down and walks, you know, And I remember that.
I remember that being pretty brutal.
And then, you know, but then also I also wasn't going to propose, So I was kind of in the situation where I'm like, Katy, I'm letting down Estella too, right, I'm letting down the whole franchise.
Everyone's gonna be mad at me. But I didn't want.
To be the guy that got engaged and then broke it off three months later type of thing.
I wanted to be the guy that.
At least I could be proud of the fact that I didn't propose, right, So I was, But I mean, at.
Large, I thought I was being the good guy by truly not by truly not.
Proposing, that was a good thing. Yeah, it was brutal, but I remember I went on Oprah right after Estella and I both did, and it was one of those things I thought.
The crowd was gonna kill me.
Yeah, and then Oprah's like, I told him he shouldn't propose unless you know, blah blah blah, and the crowds like, oh, oh okay, and they like a plot.
I'm like, oh my god, I think I'm okay right.
Now talking about a huge name to drop. No, but a huge friend that ended up being really important to you was Oprah Winfrey. And again that's how big the show was back then, is that Oprah would have us on. And I never did Oprah, by the way, but she had people from the show on. I never know and met all her people and all that, but never was a part of the show. But I remember just her loving you and really kind of took that bullet for you.
That was huge because she did it wasn't true. Now what she said on that show was not true.
She stepped in and was like, I mean, it was interesting because we had had a conversation about it, and she was like, just be true to yourself, you know, blah blah. I mean yeah, I mean, effectively, she did probably say, you know, don't propably, it's not right for you or whatever. But it wasn't like I consulted her, you know, before the trip to Harry Winston that day. You know, it was like I I mean, but yeah, she was an amazing and has for.
Her to do that in that moment, like she knew she was big enough and bulletproof enough that she could take that bullet for you. And if she said that, then it would turn the tide for her fans, which was America at the time everyone and so Oprah essentially did made the world do a onet eighty for you to a certain degree.
I think I think I think the things would have been a lot different had she not embraced me the way that she did.
Yeah, well, what if you'd done on that show and Oprah had gone, you know, really gone after you, like you know it said, you know, Bob, you should have done this, Like, yeah, they would have destroyed you totally. She was a king maker or a king destroyed.
I mean, I mean I think she probably still is.
Yeah, that's true.
But she was so kind to me, and you know, it was one of those things that like we just really connected and had a genuine friendship to the point where you know, I hadn't. I got I started feeling guilty about like reaching out to her, because like God, I don't want her to feel like I'm like trying to glom onto you know, anything that she does, And what could I possibly bring to the table for Oprah, you know. And so I remember I was just I got in my own head about it, and so for
years I really didn't even reach out. And and a few years ago we ran into each other in an event, and I wasn't even gonna say anything. I was like, she's busy, you know, and she's Oprah, you know, Forgot's. And as she's walking by to go to her car, she sees me out of the corner of her.
Eye and she's like, Bob. And it was so nice. It was so cool because.
I I didn't want to assume that she would remember me or you know, she know anything.
She was so sweet. It's Oprah, She's like the biggest being alive, you know.
And and she came over and gave me a huge hug and she's like, oh my god, it's always so great to see you. And I remember I literally I think I started to cry.
I don't even know what I did. I was just like it was like a fanboy moment, you know.
It was just when it well, it validates and justifies like the love and friendship that you think you have, and when you get that back and it's reciprocated, you're like, oh, it was real. That was this many years later because you start to think in your head, okay, that was just a crazy time. We you know, everybody was, you know,
benefiting from this. But when there's nothing on the table and it means nothing to anybody, it's good to be like, okay, no, we we really had that friendship, and to have it with again the it's Oprah, she goes by one name, there's Bono, there's Oprah Beyond. Yeah, that's it. No, no go go she needs the lady, Yeah, you need the lady. Got so she's still.
That is.
That was a bizarre friendship that again like in what world does this kid from Detroit, Michigan become dear friends of Oprah Winfrey? But there there was some dark stuff though, you know when you came off the show and what part of it came and it was interesting. Nobody will ever know about this. Is you did a pilot for a talk show? Yeah?
Yeah, sure did? I mean?
They I stayed out in LA after we got done filming my season.
I didn't go home.
I stayed out there because they wanted to roll it right into a pilot, which I think became The Ellen Show.
Actually from how I remember the timing.
Oh yeah, but they had me do a pilot for a talk show and it was before Ellen, so you know, there was the same production company and a lot of the ideas.
I remember seeing them kind.
Of manifest funny, but it was it was a really cool experience. It was a really fun experience. But it was also one of those things that I was kind of like, man, I just don't know, I don't know if this is I think had it happened, I would have loved it because it was just, you know, such a fun idea. But it was also one of those things where I mean, that's why I started to kind of like I realized I was going to lose myself.
I had to figure it out.
I had to get control of where I was, my head was at, and everything else, because I was part of the machine all of a sudden, and it was machine was kind of going way faster than I was prepared for.
Right, And you were also when you came on the show, you had a rock band YEP called fat Amy. Yeah, long before Pitch Perfect Everybody, but which is ironic, before Rebel Wilson made it popular. Yeah, you guys had a band called fat Amy and you were successful. You had a very had at least one album, Well, we had.
We had three were we were always the band opening for the big band, right, So we toured UH on this thing called the Aware Tour.
We toured with match Box twenty. We toured UH.
The very Pipe was from our hometown. And that's how we actually got our deal. Was was them lobbying for us and hooting the blowfish. And I got to know Darious Rucker before he went solo and became such a country sensation. And it's still friends of this day, you know, like it's I loved, but it's so funny. People always go, oh, you know the bashing I thinks he can sing, and I was like, like, well, it's kind.
Of my real job, like before I was a bachelor.
It's it. You're I just I want to say, Bob's different than the guy who shows up on Night one with his guitar and says he can sing. You actually had this band and y'all were very successful. This is not a Tom Sandoval thing, you know where he's although Jimmer does look a lot like Jimmer does look like but this was a real thing. But it also became a huge point of contention between you and the Bachelor. Yeah, they wanted you. You were a part of this machine.
They wanted you, and then you wanted part of your old life and that became an issue.
Well, and I wasn't.
I had nothing to do with it, if I'm I mean, I couldn't control what my record label did.
And so you know, they because that was existing, that was pre the show.
So they they saw this as a big opportunity to market this stuff. I wasn't super comfortable with some of what they were doing, to be honest. You know. It was you know, Trista's wedding, for example, and they're buying like, you know, a commercial spot, and I'm like, geez, that's just seems terrible to me.
But it's part. But you were part of that machine too. Now you had two machines cranking up. I did going full Bob guinea and you're And the odd thing is Bob Guiney wasn't a part of it. You know.
Now you feel like I had nothing to say about any.
Who massive machines are rolling on. You're like, uh, you guys both have my name.
Yeah, it was it was an interesting time, for sure. It was.
It was kind of scary, to be honest. It was one of those things.
I wasn't ready for it, and when it went to that next level and then you have like your record label, and then you're you know, you're on a network and one of the biggest networks world and they're kind of fighting over what each other is doing with my likeness. I was just I wasn't ready for it. And I probably could have handled a whole lot better than I did, but at the time, I was just I just sort
of like I threw my hands in the air. I was basically just like, Okay, whatever's gonna happen, here is gonna happen.
And it it.
It did.
It got ugly, it blew up, I mean because eventually those two things collided and you were stuck in the middle.
Yeah, yeah, I sure was ended up getting a Marty said really, well, who is a pit bull?
And it got litigious, It got litigious.
But you know, it was one of those things too that that was when as another time when Oprah stopped in I'll never forget, I got served with papers and then the same by who by the production company around the Bachelor.
So the Bachelor sued you, Bachelor sued me.
Yeah, and I won the right not to not to pay a bunch of money that I didn't have, you know, basically, that's what I won, the right to.
Not do that. So you go from being the golden boy, the most beloved bachelor, the happy go lucky guy, to getting sued yea by the Bachelor. Yeah, so.
You go.
Your life's being torn and thrown upside down, but you're at your height. Yeah, so's it was this weird juxtaposition of you were crushing it bigger and better than you ever have and and things are seemingly going well, but you're now being sued and things are probably deteriorating with your your music world too.
Yeah. You know, I had to walk away from all of.
It, actually, and so you ended up losing all of it everything. Yeah, so the music career and the Bachelor, obviously after the lawsuit, things don't tend to go well. It was all gone. Yeah, and then but it.
Was the only way I could the only way I could make it go away was just to walk away. So it was one of those things where you know, I realized I was just gonna and I and I think that the optics weren't good, you know, I looked.
I looked like the guy who you know, oh he hainded out flowers, now anythings he can sing.
I really did, because you realize that your career wasn't what you thought.
It was, you know.
I mean, even though I was the opening band for all these huge acts, no one really knew that, you know, not.
The way they would see the show every week.
So it became a thing where I was kind of like, I don't want to I don't want to be the guy that what this is looking like?
It felt gross, It felt felt gross.
And so it was more or less like I was just like, I'm just gonna walk away. I'm gonna take some time, go back to my day job, you know. And and I was. I was very big on that. I mean for the longest time after The Bachelor. I remember, you know, they'd call me like, you know, do you have any new advice for the Bachelor. I'm like, yeah, don't quit your day job. And you're not Ben Affleck, right, so I don't think you're gonna you know, you should be into movies, just be a normal guy.
Had to be a hard time so fun.
It was tough, like, yeah, what did you have a low point did you have.
I'm sure, you know.
I when I look back on things, I always try to I think I just make them rosier so, you know, survive.
But like most guys, we just swallow those.
Swallow them up and move on. Yeah.
I'm sure there were some some tough times in there, but you know, my family, I've always been super close to my mom and dad.
And my sister, and having that support system.
Oh that was it, you know. I went back to I and faithfully.
I mean, one of the nicest compliments I get all the time is like, oh, you're the exact same guy you were before you were on the show. And that means a lot to me because I take pride in that, you know, I think I was. I was a person who just had a really lucky break and really enjoyed it. My brother in law used to always say, you know, if you tried to make this happen, if you out a form to be on The Bachelor, which I never did, if you did a video submission, which I never did.
So you know, when someone says, how do you end up on in reality, I'm like, I.
Don't know, do you I have no clue.
I just you know, my butla you saway say it best.
He'd be like, you're the guy that just walks up, you step in a pile of dogs, you peel a hundred dollar bill off your shoe.
He's like, that's just who you are.
And I was like, thanks, buddy, I think that's a compliment. But you know, I think I I just went back to that. I was kind of like, well, this was a really cool experience, and you know, I think I'm not gonna I'm probably gonna get a lot more praise than I deserve, and I'm got a lot more criticism than I deserve.
Probably haven't earned any of that.
But I'm just gonna roll with it, you know, and and just get back to my life and focus.
And you know, when I look at it now, you know, all these years later, years later, and.
I'm happily married and I have a four year old and a two year old, it's like, I firmly believe that your life.
Goes where it goes for a reason.
Yeah, And I probably wouldn't be here with you, feeling the way I feel about my family and being so lucky if I hadn't done the show.
At some point, I can attest to two things. Number One, you are exactly who you were when I met you twenty years ago. You have not changed one iota the same, just stand up, good human being and you know, getting put in the spin cycle of life that you did,
you came out the same. And that's really a testament to you, your family, your faith, and who you are and to see where you are in life right now, Like it just makes my heart explode like it does when I see how in love you are, how in love you are with your kids, what a dad you are, how you know you do some stuff where it's in the limelight a little bit, but you know, I see all these other videos and pictures where you're just messing around with the kids and just live in your life,
and I'm like, that's the good stuff. Yeah, I mean that's the good stuff.
I took. It took me a long time to get there, right, Yeah, first kid at forty eight. I don't necessarily advise that to most people.
Yeah, I'll admit I was walking into my room the other night and I thought, not gonna lie kind of glad. I don't have it a four and a two year old run Now It's like I'm like, I'm going this week, I'm going home and I'm driving up to TCU to pick up both my kids at college and drive them home for the summer. And they have their summer jobs. And I'm like, and Bob's going home and he's getting ready to put his first in kindergarten.
Yeah, I'll be changing some diapers this weekend.
Good stuff, Yeah, good stuff. It's good. That is the messy good stuff. And it gets better and every stage is good. And you know, I was trying to think. I was like, was it better to do it as a young dad? Maybe I had more the ability to not sleep and you know, maybe had a little more patience, or would it be better to go through it at fifty one fifty two, which we are, and you have such perspective in life. You got the ability of life experience that I didn't have as a dad. You know
what's important. You know, you can kind of look at things and go, you know, what's not a big deal? This, this is not a big deal. Yeah, it's like so, you know, I think I fought more battles as a thirty to thirty five year old dad as opposed to fifty where I'd be like, you know, it's not important, little league, Like, let him go have fun. You know he's not going to play in the game. You're fine, it's good, Yeah, build build the sand castle out in
the outfield. It's totally fine. You know, you don't need a hitching, a hitting coach, or a pitching coach at age four. Now that those are the things I think you learned. Probably you're probably a little more chill than I was.
Yeah, I'm just so lucky to have these boys in my life.
I mean, it's funny. I mean, we've talked about the other night.
I don't know how. I don't even know what love was until I had these boys. And I'm so thankful that, you know, I was at the right place when I met Canyon that I realized, you know, god, I'm gonna try this one more time. I haven't been super great at you know, marriage here, and it was so awesome that she kind of came into it.
She's like, hey, third times a charm, let's go.
Yeah, you know what I mean, hit it off. And because I will say, you have to be a special someone to be married to Bob Guineas, Oh my.
Gosh, I wouldn't even wish it on my worst I mean, you know, the thing about her that's so great is you know, she rolls with it.
She nothing, you know, nothing surprises her offends her.
When we're out in public, you know, she'll be the first one to be like, here, hear me your phone, let me get this for you, you know, and she'll take a picture.
And I said, oh, we want you in it too.
She's like, no, you don't, okay, Yard, you know, and she just says, no ego in it, which I think is so cool.
And and then when it comes to our boys and me, she's just the most amazing mom. It's like she dedicates her whole life to these kids.
And and I'm just I'm envious. I'm awestruck by it, you know, I really am. I look at it, I'm like, God, how does she think to do that stuff? Like I would never think to turn this stupid, you know, piece of paper into some great game that she just did.
I would.
That's why it helps to have too, right, because you deliver something that she can't. And that's that's a wonderful thing. And the best part is, I know you had a great time here at the Kentucky Derby. I'm glad we sat down and talked. You are one of my favorite human beings in this world. I love you dearly, and you know you would for twenty years. Twenty years we've been friends, and I can't.
Believe I'm saying time to be buddies.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but happy fifty second birthday. Thank you. Who would have thought we would have made it to fifty one and man two.
I can't believe we're still here.
You and I definitely beat the odds.
We sure did. I love you, buddy. Thank you for having me on. I really appreciate it.
Bob' gonna get out of here.
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I'll talk to you next time.