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Hi guys, it's Jen Fessler.
Hey, it's Jackie Golschneider and we are two Jersey Jays.
Hi Jack, Hi, bibe.
What's been going on?
I mean it's been I'm so exhausted. So is Rachel. My daughter's twenty third birthday yesterday. So always it's an ordeal. You would think that after maybe you know, nineteen, it would stop being such a big deal, but it just doesn't. So we were down the shore. We packed it up, We went into the city. We went to Sacks, We had lunch there, it was beautiful.
We went shopping.
We decided that there was nothing at Sacks that we were going to plunk our money down.
So we ended up at Mango. Have you been there?
Yeah, Well they have Mangos all over Spain Europe.
Yeah, no, I've been to the ones. Jeff loves them, but like they just now opening Garden State whatever. So we ended up there and then it was like we didn't even shop for Rachel, which I appreciate it. We ended up shopping for my son, who doesn't ever shop, and that was just exhausting. I like, just would rather order now online. I know, I have to say bike shopping is.
I actually have to take my kids shopping this afternoon because they're going to do Like we're in the they just finished their sophomore year of high school, my older ones, so they're in the building your resume now for college phase and they're doing this great program at Duke.
For two weeks.
But we just got the packing list and they have to wear like a suit for presentations, and they don't have a suit but the bottom. That's so we're going to We're going to suit shopping. I was going to say, go straight to men's warehouse.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's actually a place in Paramus that that we go to Salaretta or one of those No, not a fancy one. It's like they it's just they have so many suits. But anyway, so last night I had two that graduated middle school, which is very bittersweet for me. Next year I'll have all four at the same high school for two years. So I said to Evan, I you know, next year, I guess they'll just drive with their older brothers to school and I won't have to take them to school anymore. And he was like, oh,
that's awesome, that's the best. And I said, no, it's not awesome. Like I feel a little sad about it.
You know, tomorrow's the.
Last day that I'll be driving my kids to school, and I'm sure there'll be one offs. But I think it's a difference in the way that like, I don't want to generalize, but like moms and dads think about this kind of stuff, Like Evan's like, this is great, you're getting your freedom back, you're getting your morning's back. But I think it's I don't know, it's sad. At this mom, I was like, whooo, I had none of that. Oh really no, No, I got absolutely not.
I was like, and especially when they got there, all had their drive when Rachel all, I mean I only have two. But when Rachel got a driver's license, because Zach at that point was gone a year into college, I was like, yay, I am so bye bye kiss and drop see yah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And by the way, this whole college process, like.
This is not how we did it.
When we were kids, like I played much advice for you on that but for this podcast. But all of this nonsense that you have to jump through free conces just to get in anywhere.
I wasted so much money. I cannot even tell you on that whole process. And I would do it differently.
Today than Oh I have to talk off camera the college counselors and the act tutors. And I remember Zach Got he was always a great test taker. I don't know how he didn't inherit that from me, but he got like a really good score, like on his Aspire, which is like the pre Act.
It was like, you're range is thirty one to thirty three.
And I still paid so much money for tutoring and he ended up with like a thirty two. It was so ridiculous, so much stuff that I feel like I just wasted money on.
But I know tutoring. I should have gone into tutoring. Forget being a lawyer. Should have been a tutor. It may makes so much money. Agreed, it's amazing. Can I ask you today's guest is a personal friend of yours?
It correct?
She is? She is okay, so why don't you tell us about her? Let's introduce her, because wow, what a story. But I'm not clear on how you actually how you guys know each other.
Well, okay, so we actually share a best friend and we are dear friends. Now we've been dear friends for years and years we've been away together. But I met Brady originally through my friend Helene, and they went to college together. They went to Ithaca together and they were just the best of friends freshman year on. Still are with their friend Becca. But so I got to know Brady because we all went away for Helene turned forty
and she took a bunch of us away. We went to this place in Jamaica called Aminoka, and we all just bonded. It was this fabulous experience. Her name is Brady Harrison and so and then just through the years we've just been you know, friends since and anyway, so I guess back around five years ago. It was twenty twenty July of twenty twenty, I got a call from another friend there's a bunch of us that are very close saying that she heard that Brady's son, his name
was Jack, had died overnight. And it was don't even know what she was talking about. My cousin Cindy, who's also very close to Helene, and I couldn't even understand what she was saying. And this kid, Jack is the same age as my son, as Helene's son, as cindy son. I mean, they've known each other forever and anyway, and it's just it was so crazy because Helene didn't know at that point and Cindy and I had to tell her, and it was just the most And this is I'm
not even talking about Brady at this point. Just telling Helene this about her best friend's son who had they all grew up together, was so horrific and that was only that was just, you know, not just but that was me here in the news and then having to tell Helene and in fact, Brady's beautiful, amazing, just glorious son, Jack Nathan, died of a fentanyl laced percocet. So this
is going back five years. And Jack was also this real really gifted young artists, and like so many of us, he struggled with mental illness and he had created this brand called Happy Jack, and he put all of his just emotions and pain and he poured it into this business. And I don't know, he raised money for the Child Mind Institute. He just did all these amazing things, and he was he would make these sweats and t shirts with like these smiley faces.
But they were they weren't smiley faces.
They were kind of like jig jag jagged smiley faces and just talking about you know, anxiety and depression and things that he had been through. And after Jack passed, his legacy, one of his many legacies carried on through his mom, Brady, Happy Jack is amazing and still doing
amazing things in this world. And it's funny, like all the kids when Jack passed and they lived in living Ston of Short Hills, but even to all the kids here in our area, my daughter, everybody followed Jack Nathan because he was so dynamic and they all had Happy Jack clothing. And I don't know, and this foundation has
continued to thrive. But you know, Brady has talks a lot about what she's been through, and she is one of the strongest women I've ever known, along with one of the most thoughtful and just intelligent and kind and beautiful and wonderful women. And her pain is indescribable and she tries really hard though to you know, share her story, especially with what's going on in this world with fentanyl. So she's I'm gonna We're gonna bring her in and she's going to tell you more. And I know she's
going to touch all of you. This story is impossible and heartbreaking. But she uses her pain. You know, she's a warrior and she uses her pain for good. So she's just so hard for you to meet her.
Horrifying.
It's so scary to think that, you know, it's like the littlest drop of fentanyl can kill you. And with four teenagers, I worry just constantly.
Yes, you know, I trust my kids, but no, no, no, it's not even it's so Jackie, we all, I don't trust the world.
Freaked out. No, there's they're not.
It is what's happened with this fentanyl crisis in this country. And Brady's going to tell you more. Is is so scary and horrifying. But so anyway, you guys, I just I do want to say though, that Brady is a lot of things. She's Jack's mom, and she's also the mother of a beautiful, uh young woman named Drew, and she was always just just creative and really smart and really fun and has her own strugg with mental illness that I'm sure she'll share as do I, as do
so many of us. But she's been through it and I'm not going to speak on her behalf anymore. I just I want to bring her in and I think that you guys are going to be so overwhelmingly touched by her story. So, without further ado, here is my very dear friend, Brady Harrison.
Thank you, my love.
We want to just take us back. You know you're asked to do that constantly. Maybe it's I don't know, you tell me. I don't know what it is, cathartic in some way, but I know you're always asked to take take us back to that day.
I hate even asking, well.
You know why, because it goes back even further. To be able to clearly articulate what happened that day, you have to know who my son was and what his struggles were. So my son, Jack Nathan struggle with both anxiety and depression, but he was very forthcoming about how he felt, like, completely transparent. He sort of wore like a badge of honor, which is very unusual for kids who are nineteen. Had a huge social circle, you know, never without a friend in sight, so that certainly wasn't
the The issue was internally, right. He struggled internally, and as a mother, all you want to do is make your kid happy. I would have done anything. He was in therapy, we were trying medication. I had flown to University of Denver to try and help him. Fast forward, he says to me, one day, you know what, Mom, If I can help just one person not feel the
way I do, it'll be worth it. And what he meant was he wanted to start a company called Happy Jack, which is a nickname some casting agent gave him when he modeled when he was a baby, and he came up with the idea that he would parlay his love of art and painting into a business, that he would sell this art on apparel or canvases to raise money
for kids who struggled like he did. So he launched Happy Jack World on June seventh of twenty twenty, and he sent a text to everyone in his contact lists, Jack Nathan, if you're getting this right now, You've been part of my journey with my struggle with mental illness. A portion of every purchase will go towards the Childmind Institute. Now at this time, I didn't even know what the
Childmine Institute was. Within the first week of sales, Jack donated one thousand dollars, which I only found out about because he posted it on Instagram. Fast forward that was June seventh. Fast forward July third. He like second. He tells me he is going to a party in Marlborough, New Jersey. If my son and I were extremely close, like beyond, we told one another, we loved each other about ten times a day, He's going to this party. Of course, I say, I love you. He says, I
love you. I say, be safe and he left. He texted me at eleven forty nine that night and he said, Mom, I'm going to stay here, really not safe to drive home. And by that I just took it as like it's late and it's an arrow away and he's not going to drive. I didn't really think anything of it, and I said, I love you more than life. He wrote, I love you more than life. Not unusual texts, and the next morning I heard nothing. I texted him and I called him. I texted his best friend and nothing.
I didn't. It was like one o'clock. I didn't hadn't heard from him. I figured he was sleeping at his phone off. And then the next phone call I got was from Jack's father, and it was a phone call that no parent on this planet would care to receive. And he just just said he didn't wake up, and you know, you're in complete disbelieve. I fell to my knees screaming. It was crazy. I mean, I'm shaking like
just telling you guys this story. But we came to find out later after we got the autopsy results, was that Jack had taken at some point after he texted me at eleven forty nine, which I thought was just how do you have such a you know, articulate conversation with your mom? And began some time after that he had ventanyl in his system, and if you know anything about ventanyl, it is fifty times stronger than morphine heroin or a hundred times stronger than morphine. I think fifty
times stronger than heroin. And he basically he took what I later found out a percocet, and that what he thought was a percoset had ventanyl in it. And all it takes is two milligrams a ventanyl to stop your heart, especially for someone who has zero tolerance for it. And when I say to two milligrams, we're talking literally grains of sand. Like if you took a salt shaker and you put it in the palm of your hand, it fits on the tip of a pencil. That's how lethal
it is. And it's not myself heart. And he never woke up. And at the time I really didn't know what fentanyl was. You're talking. It was twenty twenty, right, so I had heard of it, but it's nowhere near the epidemic that it is today, or at least people didn't speak about it now. It's like you can't swing about without someone knowing someone, right. So for two years I didn't mention how Jack had passed because I wanted him to be remembered for who he was rather than
how he left us. And he was a mental health advocate, and that's who he was at his heart. He wanted kids his age to live freely. I'm proud and I'm apologetically and I admired him for that. He was completely transparent, and he taught me how to be transparent. And after two years, I said, I can't just watch all these kids disappear. And I felt like I had a sense of responsibility to share my story, to warn other parents, to warn other kids. My son looks no different than every other kid.
I mean, well, he did a little bit bray because he was so gorgeous.
This is Jack and this is my dog actually, who passed away a year later, but like he was the most delicious.
Beyond I'm telling you he had like a cult following. I only know that.
I'm not just saying that, Brady, like you know that, like my daughter who didn't know him, knew who he was because he was number one. Sorry, he was just he looks he looks exactly like you, one face, but absolutely gorgeous.
But he had this.
Charisma that I didn't know him well, so I knew you know about him through you, But he was just like this, this this beacon of light. And I'm not just saying it. It's I just remember what Rachel was like.
What that kid?
He was just so magnic.
Lady, When did he start struggling with mental illness? How old was he?
Looking back? I think that's an excellent question. Looking back, I would say probably maybe like freshman year ish. I started noticing and I picture what he was wearing. He sat on my kitchen counter. He's wearing timberlains and like a button down and he just looked at me and he's like, I'm not happy. Now. Like, as a parent, you're like, what could you possibly be unhappy that? I mean, he had an abundance of friends, good looking, twelve, a huge circle of those who loved him. I couldn't. It
didn't make any sense to me. So what I came to realize is that when you struggle and when you're not happy, it has to do with everything that's internal, right, and nothing that's external. There's nothing that you're going to be able to pinpoint and say like, oh, he didn't get a new iPhone, that's why he's depressed. Oh his girlfriend broke up with him and that's why he's depressed.
It doesn't work like that. It's like there's this underlying sadness and you can't often articulate why you're sad because it's it's an imbalance, it's chemical, there's no outside You know, situations can make it worse, but generally they're not the root cause of why my son wasn't happy. So I sort of brushed it off, like, yeah, and my ex husband and I got divorced, and my son got worse,
and he went to college and got worse. The anxiety got worse, and when he came home, he had to come home because of COVID, which does not mix well with anyone who struggles. I mean, you put someone who's already anxious and depressed in to a home and tell them not to leave. I mean, how would anyone fair? So? I mean I I it was horrific. It was not good for him, not good for him. I was completely isolating, he was overwhelmed with schoolwork, and that's when he sort
of got it together to Laurn Chappy Jack. But you know, you look, Jackie, I go back all the time, right and I'm like, what could I have done differently? You know what? You know? Could I have saved him? Could I have parented differently? What if I said something in the kitchen that day that you know, changed the trajectory of his life? You do that, and I think it's just natural for any parent to go backwards and question
everything and anything to make sense of it. But because it's so senseless, it's just so senseless, don't you.
Do you feel like it's I think his his legacy and what he did when he was live, and just my own mind is so separate from the way that he died. I mean, he was my he was murdered, you know what I mean? Like, it's not like I done to stop a criminals and fentonl from coming into you know, this country in a pill.
I don't. I don't What would you have said to him that could have stopped that?
Nothing thing?
You now?
My friend said to me, it was like equivalents like Brady, It's like he got hit by a bus.
Yeah. Is it a pill that was given to him by other kids at the party or did he have it with him?
I don't know, you don't know.
It doesn't matter. I'm just wondering if anyone else there I had ingested anything.
I don't know. Okay, it was a twenty first birthday party. I don't know. I don't know, and I wouldn't change the outcomes, So I don't think i'd let myself go through all of that.
Good after everything, when you decided to continue his legacy of being a mental health advocate and telling his story, how did it is that what happy Jack is now? You kept it going?
Yes? Absolutely, you know, like I said, I feel a sense of responsibility, and of course it's very personal and emotional to me, and I don't want to let his business go because I guess if I'm being completely transparent,
it's like me letting him go. But it's hard because he's not here, and he's not here to tell me what to do, you know what designed to put out and he left behind all these like amazing designs and this like amazing logo of this like crooked smile because he was like, it's impossible to be completely happy all the time. But I wish he was here to tell me what to do, because it's it's really hard running
your son's business when he is no longer here. You know, typically the child falls into the parents' footsteps and is mentored that way. It's doesn't not supposed to work this way.
Right, So what is the charity? How has the charity been doing, and how has it helped people? And what do you do on a daily basis?
So I, on my ends worked to maintain, maintain, just like the inner workings of this site and the business end of it. We launched the Happy Jack Foundation a couple of years after he passed because we wanted to be able to donate more than just taking a portion
of our sales. So we set up a program with University of Denver, which is where Jack went to college, and we have a program which we've been doing for the past five years where any student in the arts can apply for this scholarship in which they are given X amount of money to create some sort of form of mental health project. But it could be at any scope in the arts, ballet, sculpture, painting, video gaming. It
just has to center around mental health. And we've been able to give that to some of the students and watch their projects, which has been, you know, like this tangible thing that we've been able to say. But we've donated ourselves to the Childmind Institute Active Minds. We've worked with some of the most incredible people. I always say like, I'm the luckiest unlucky person I know. We've had I mean with that billboards every year in Times Square donated
to us in the mission of raising fentanyl awareness. And I've met so many families who are part of this club that know none of us want to be a part.
Of but I've met We're doing Jack, We're doing am We're having an event in August about Pensanyl about, you know, raising money for ferensonal awareness. And so Brady's already introduced me to Charlie and his father. Charlie's Charlie passed very similar to the way that Jack passed and around the same time, right Bray, Yeah, yeah, So he was.
A couple of years older than Jack, but similar situation. And he started this fund called Song for Charlie. But they are exclusively sentonal education, functional effects, changing the landscape within the government. He's They're incredible this Ed and Mary are the parents, and it's you know, I think what's important to note is that they created Song for Charlie after their son passed. I didn't create Happy Jack. You know, Jack created Happy Jack. And this is my son's legacy
that he built. So I am just sort of taking over the reins for him. But I will not take credit for ever for my son's work, for you know, his concept, his drive to help other kids like him who struggled.
Is it hard bratty because some people might say, Okay, so there's crossover, right, I don't know there's is their crossover between mental health, I don't be infentanyl awareness. They're two separate things, right, it's.
Yes and no, because I look, those who struggle have a higher propensity to try stuff.
Yeah, just.
I make themselves feel better.
Yeah, but it could be the kid who you know, goes to any one of these schools and says like, oh my god, I have a test and I want to cram, and someone gives them an.
Adderall all right, And that's what I mean, right.
Because adderall is lace. Percocet is lace, xenax is lace, Cocaine is laced. I mean, you name it now, weed is lace, the vapes are laced.
So just so for people who have no idea, and I also don't know so much of this. How does something get laced with ventanol?
So the precursors, which are the chemicals that are made from thetonyl, are starting in China, and the Chinese are also the ones who are responsible for creating the pill press machines, so basically they press the pills to look like any other pill that you would get from your doctor. So the chemicals and this is the I'm just giving you the generic root. Yes, it might come from other means, but this is what you know sort of the normal. This is what the path is. So the precursors are made,
they're shipped to Mexico. Mexico has all the cartels and the labs and so forth, and then they are coming across the border. The reason why they are using fentanyl to mix into these pills, or even use fentanyl period is because it's stronger than anything out there. You do not need as much of it to make a pill or to enhance a pill. It's a synthetic, so you can make it yourself. You're not waiting for like the you know, plants to grow in the fields in order
to create opium. It just doesn't work that way. So it truly what it comes down to is greed. They can manufacture more because it's cheaper, it's stronger, they can get it onto the streets faster, and the margins are insane. So their hope is to create addicts.
How do you get bray I was gonna I've been thinking about this a long time. It doesn't the only part that doesn't add up is that it's so lethal, right that the makers of it, you know, are losing. They're trying you're trying to create an addict in terms of right, if you're not trying to, you know, kill your source, and it seems to be phentanol is so deadly.
I don't even know.
Yeah, is there an amount that you got in that doesn't kill you?
It?
Two milligrams is a lethal dose. And I told you that it's like like grains of sand if you have some sort of tolerance. I suppose two milligrams is not going to do the trick in order to just stop your life. My son and all of these kids, they're they're not what you envision to be. Perhaps someone in the streets, someone in drug rehabs. There kids who may try something for the first time, that may take a Mali at a party. You know, they're these are kids
who are you know, athletes and academics and successful. And it blows away every stereotype that people might have of those who are passing from fetanol or from drugs period. So the manufacturers of the product, they don't care if they have some casualties along the way, They'll just make more. They just they don't care.
You think about the fact that these kids are the brains, especially boys, right, they're not developed until what they're twenty six years old. Boys' brains. You're sending out your kid into the world at age eighteen nineteen, and of course I would have taken something in college.
You passed me a p we write, Jen, you thought you were invincible.
I mean, yeah, one hundred percent. I remember taking what is that one? Not molly?
Ecstasy? Remember ecstasy?
That was big when I was in college, and yeah, everybody was doing I don't even know what it is. They called it ecstasy then in Texas. But it was like funny, you know who's at that age? You're not thinking about shit, You're thinking, no tonight, there is no rap party.
Yeah.
So how does a parent talk to their kid to try to stop this? I mean, telling them not to ever try anything? Is that realistic?
What do you do?
Probably not? I don't think that if I I mean, of course I taught Jack don't do drugs, right, I mean my kids smoke weed, which I didn't have an issue with some parents do, but I was like, yeah, but it's in MYSS, it's described to you and for you, you really can't. There's no such thing as recreational drugs anymore. It just doesn't exist the same way like Jen was saying, it just doesn't exist. So they have something called fentanyl
test strips. Basically, you have to take the pill and crush it and dilute it in water, and then you take it's like a dipstick. You dip, you dip the stick in and if it comes out like a pregnancy test two lions, one lion, it's either negative or positive. There can be false positive false negatives, but they're pretty accurate fentanyl test strips. You can buy them anywhere. You
can buy them on Amazon. The only my biggest hesitation lies in the fact that you can take one pill right jack, and like I could split it in half. You can take half, and I can take half, and I don't wake up in the morning, but you do. It's because the fentanyl is not evenly distributed in the pill. It might have just been stuck in my half, but you're fine. So unless you dilute the entire substance, you will not know truly whether.
What kind of these what kid is has the wherewithal to say, I'm gonna go into the bathroom for I mean, they're dipsticks, like they're like, these kids are not maybe not all of them. I think that there are, you know, and we're all we all try with our kids, and but that's the part that is, so my kids are they're older now, maybe they're still stupid.
I don't even I don't know.
But they do give out fentanyl test strips and a lot of the fraternities and the sororities, so today they're much more aware, really. And there's also something called narcan which reverses the effects of an overdose, which is a spray that you put up each nostril, but you have to have someone with you. A lot of these kids who take something are by themselves, so that narkhan doesn't apply.
And so narcam works for fentanyl. Correct, And how quickly do you have to you? How quickly does fentanyl take effect in you?
It minutes?
Minutes?
Wow?
How horrifying?
Is there a world? So I don't know too much about. I know obviously ventinels in the news, But is there a world in which fentanyl is completely wiped out from the drug supply.
I don't think so. I don't see it happening. It's too easy to make and there's too much money to be made. I think that's about in line. As long as there's money to be had, people just don't give a shit about human life, you know.
Brad I have been close for a while and I just always I said to you last week, Bra, like I feel like sometimes I just say the wrong thing, and of course it's all well intentioned. But we talked about it about one of your other best friends who's like, you know, I want to say to you. I wouldn't say that now, but maybe when it first happened, you know,
time time, time, time. I mean, I don't know if time is helping or I obviously I follow you and everything, but I follow you on TikTok, and you're so open and you have so many experiences every day dealing with this grief that just doesn't quit, you know, and.
Think for me, And I've said this just recently, like it feels like it just happened, Like it feels like it just happened yesterday. I wake up every morning and I go through like the litany of things that I did that day or before or Jack's life, and so I feel like I'm like treading water, standing still. But everybody else is moving on as they should, because the
world keeps spinning. But it's hard for me as the kids move further away from my son's passing, and my friends even move further away from Jack's passing, and I sort of like still here, and it's equally as hard for me. You know, I see all of these kids growing up and my son doesn't get to do that. And you keep in mind, my son grew up with Jessee and all these kids, and I watched them, i know, meeting their significant others and working going out into the world.
And my son was a baby. He was nineteen years old. I mean, he was almost twenty, but he didn't even make it to his junior year in college. It's just like, you know, you just say, like, it's not fair, just not fair.
So how do you how do you get through the days? And have you gotten help for yourself mental health treatment.
I have a daughter who looked at me shortly after and said, do not go numb on me. And I will never forget that, and I have to show up for her, have to. I will not disappear. I will do anything to make her life easier, to make her happy, so that she doesn't, you know, continue to wallow in her brother's passing. And I'm very sensitive to that. So you know, people like I could never, I could never. I don't have a choice, you know, I have a daughter,
and I have a significant other who loves me. I have amazing friends and amazing parents, and I'm so grateful for their support. I'm not a big group mental health person in terms of like sitting in a group that does not work for me. It just brings me down to hear about other people's pain. So I'm I do one on one occasionally, but even that, I just like, I don't feel like crying for forty five minutes straight, Like I just don't have it in me. I'm exhausted,
So I sleep a lot. I sleep a lot. Yeah, an medication.
I mean, I'm not even asking you. I just don't for myself, like a right. It's like I don't know if there's enough prosact.
In the world, of course I don't. Yeah, but it's like it's like, do you ever you know that feeling of like when you're present but not really present. Yes, like you're there physically, but you're not there mentally. That's what it feels like a lot of the time.
I know you get sometimes just a surprise like letter, text or whatever from one of his friends. Yeah, I know, how like that just now that lights you up because he has an impact on so many of these kids.
Really, you know, it's so consistent what all of these kids say about him. You know, like Jack told me what was important in life. He didn't you know, give a shit about anything else about and you know, it was just about what he was doing and his happiness and you know, forget about the nine to five, do what makes you happy. And they believed in him, and he believed in them. And you know, one day he came up into my room and he's like, Mom, I really think it's helping me to help other people. And
I was like, Jack, that's amazing. It's amazing. But you know, at the end of the day, I couldn't take that anxiety away from him. I couldn't take his relentless need to do more. He's very existential, very introspective. He was he called like limited drops, one of one. He was one of one.
Wow.
I love that.
How do you think those parents that you've gotten to know, is it similar their grief and what five years later? I mean, I don't know, But I don't know. I just talked to Charlie or whatever. I'm about to meet Charlie's dad. But is the pattern there are similar patterns in terms of how parents.
I will tell you that every single person grieves differently, and I passes zero judgment. You know, some people immerse themselves in work, some people immerse themselves in the cause. Some people just becomes stagnant and can't leave their heal. You know, I didn't. I don't think I left my house for six months. I look. I moved out of New Jersey to Florida because it hurt me so bad to see all of these people that I had to
like sort of face what happened. And every time I saw everyone, They're like, oh my god, what's the matter. And it just like brings you back. And I every baseball field, every soccer field, every pizza place he worked at. It's really painful, incredibly hard. And I go back obviously because all my friends are there and my daughter lives with her father primarily, but it's it's hard for me. It's really hard, and I don't I guess I feel like sometimes people forget how hard it is.
Yeah, nobody knows how So few people that we know understand how hard it is. Yeah, we imagine it.
You know, what would you like to see happy Jack going forward?
And I would love it to flourish. I would. Jack launched the site in the first sight, and he was disappointed because he wanted it to the site to crash because so many people are on it. You know, I'd love for it to be self sustaining. I'd love for me to be able to help kids more than I already do. I'm happy to speak to anyone and everyone to let them know that, you know, Jack is you Jack, You're no different than my son, and this is the
reality of the situation. And you know, I had one of his friends say to me afterwards, I could have been any one of us.
It could have and.
Yeah, so what would I like to see happen? Ultimately, the reason why I speak is because I want to save lives. I don't I don't want any parent to who experience this pain. It's horrific, you know, I want to you know, I'm going to break. I'm exhausted. It's really exhausting to live with the pain of it. And
I don't wish that upon anyone. So if happy Jack, and if my son's legacy could prevent a family from coming down this path, and I'm going to keep launching product and raising money and creating awareness.
Bray, what do you say to people who ask you what to say to their kids? And again, I mean, I know it's about two issues here, right, they're spent it all and there's mental illness. But you know parents that are sending their kids to college, and I don't know if there is anything to completely prevent this from happening. But is there are there things that you're tell you that the.
I mean that it's I will say, And there's there's different stats on this. So right now, I had heard from the DEA that it's seven out of ten pills are at least right or have a lethal amount. So if you literally say to your child, if someone's giving you an adderall to stay off and you don't know where that adderall has been, look at yourself in the mirror and say, I have a seventy percent chance of not waking up in the morning, would you take that pill?
I mean, that's the reality of it, even if it's one and six or what I mean, the statistics are so high, the probability is so high that it's almost like you'd have to be really unintelligent not to have that meaning.
Because they are kids are stupid.
That's that's my son was one of them. I'm not gonna lie. Look, my son didn't know any better. But he lived fearless. He fearlessly, he was He would have done anything, jump off a cliff, jump, dive into a pool from a roof. I mean that's how he lived. I don't think he would have lived any differently, but I could. I can't guarantee your child's not going to
but I could try. I would also say, you know what, if your kid's going to school and they're having such extreme mental health struggles, pull them at a school, Like not every kid is going to take the same path in life. Right in our heads we say like, Okay, they're gonna go to college, they're gonna get a job, they're going to live in the city, they're gonna But it doesn't work that way. So I don't know, maybe I should have pulled Jack at a school when he wasn't.
Your story should have like, I know.
I know, I can see it.
I'm like, it's like, it's like you're telling the story. What do you think that?
Like both my kids, Rachel had a great time just three years her senior year, she was unhappy. Whatever that looks like unhappy? My son was unhappy at times in college.
He for a year.
This was a bad I mean, I don't know. It's a hard thing to figure out, right, I mean.
It just and it's like once you put yourself out there like I do on TikTok, I have like seventy thousand followers, so like there are people who are like who blame me? And I have to I have to roll with that because if there's going to be people like that, and I have to tune all of that noise out in order to you guys know, with social media, you have to tune all of that noise out.
Locked, de lea, blocked, deleap any Can it be in something you smoke? Is it only in pill form something that gets cut?
I mean lately i've here I'm hearing that it's also in marijuana. There is. There are so many dispensaries out there, but they're not all licensed dispensaries. So you really have to know if a dispensary is licensed or not. Like I'll even say to my daughter who's almost twenty two, like, if you're gonna smoke, it has to come from a licensed dispensary. You have to know. You can't say like, oh,
my friend got it from a friend. They're okay, they know, like no, yeah, no, Like like I look at mac Miller. My son idolizes mac Miller. Yeah, you think he's a celebrity. He has all this money, He would only get clean shit. He died the same way. It just doesn't work that way. Fentanyl doesn't care how much money you have, who the hell you are, if you're a celebrity, if you're not, it just there's it doesn't matter.
And in this country, do you know how many people a year are affected by this?
I mean they say, like a clane full of people a day.
What, oh my god? And is the government doing things?
Are you involved?
Oh yeah? I mean look at look there are people who pro truy anti Trump. But at least he's trying, right, at least he's trying. You, we're gonna put enough tariffs on China, maybe they'll it'll affect change in the supply and demand. You're gonna close the borders, maybe it'll prevent substances from coming through. I do feel like he's trying. You know, people are like as long as they're that, you know, supply and demand, As long as there's demand
they'll always be supply. But it doesn't mean that we can't try.
You have to try. There's no what else I mean.
You know, So I I'm okay with Trump for those reasons alone.
Ray, how's Drew your daughter?
Sherew's my daughter, She's my reason for being. I love her. She's my happy place. My daughter and I actually have been like approached by other kids saying like, how do I help my parent? And you know, I say to them, like, you will always, you will forever be your parents' happy place, like she just will. And I she's doing good.
She's she's doing I know she's doing good.
She's got a job, she is a huge personality. She has also has a lot of friends. I encourage her to go to therapy again. She's twenty two. She'll do with it what she will. But I love my kids unconditionally, and I love the same way Jack did. I love. When I love, I love, And if she needs me, I go to her and and I told her no matter where I am, I will always find her. And she knows that. She knows that.
So I'm in all of you. I'm so sorry for your pain. I can't imagine, but your strength is unbelievable.
Thank you.
By the way, guys, I mean all of us. I think it's helpful just to hear about the mental health thing. It's so it's not just kids, right, it's us. I mean, it's me. When I was a kid, it was it took a different form, but then I didn't get the help for it that I needed. Back in the day, when I was in college, i had crazy. It was more it's all in the same umbrella, but it was
more anxiety than it was depression, debilitating anxiety. And I mean, I've been through so many different therapists until I you know, this my current one that I've been with for years and years. I didn't meet her until I was until my kids were twelve, and you know, my daughter has just been diagnosed with diabetes. Anyway, the point is that like there there are things. There are so many things. And I'm a big medication fan when it comes to mental illness.
I mean, and Bray, you and I have spoken about this.
I mean, you've had your own, you know, dealings before Jack, right, with mental illness. I mean, it's bitch, but I feel like there's I used to be very very very aware of it. I guess, especially when it comes to your kids, because there are there are answers, right, there's the.
There's Anne's Look, genetics come into play, right, if you have mental health illness in your family, there's a higher chance that it'll you know, trickle down the bloodline. And you know, I certainly do I think about you know, my daughter has children. I mean I hope that their mental health is okay. And I I used to you know, look, there was such a stigma against kids taking medication back in the day, and I didn't want my kid to
take medication. Do you remember, like in the sleepway camps, you're like, oh, well they the kids would be like they leave to go get a ill or they go to mind.
Well, my kids will leave do a good growth hormoney and insulin.
They go to them. They're lining up like nobody right, this stigma is gone, and you know they say, like, if you were physically ill, you would take medication. So if you're emotionally not well, and it's not just like I'm sad, I'm going to take a pill, it's that underlying sadness that I told you that you can't look. I remember my mother looking at me and saying like, what is it? Why are you so unhappy? Like what
did you this? Did do that? And she did what I did, Like you try and find the thing, because as a parent, all you want to do is fix the problem, and you cannot. You can't fix it. I tried, My mother tried, like but when I went on medication and found the right medication, I got my life back.
Me too, me too.
So you know, one hand, I'm saying, don't take medication. On the other hand, I'm saying, take medication.
Hey, that's prescribed by a doctor that you're picking up at CVS.
Very different, And I'm going to sit down and have a talk with my kids because I didn't know any of this, and I didn't know how prevalent it was, and that alone could change the trajectory of their lives.
So thank you for that was our whole I remember, just yeah, after Jack passed, all of us were like and our kids wore the same age as Jack, and we're all like, do you understand not once, not even once? Can you take a pill? That's never? It is not that world never.
So where can people find out more about the charity, How can they get involved, how can they help it grow.
So the site my son created is called Happyjackworld dot com and there's a donation link, you know, right on the site. But it makes me happy when people buy his designs and I get to see the kids in college at parties and all that, like wearing Happy Jack shirts or Happy Jack has.
By the way, they're the best. I cannot believe that. I'm so stupid. I didn't put on my sweats today.
I have.
Literally, they're my favorite.
They're not like shitty sweats, like qually heavy, fabulous sweats, Rachel Wars like lit'sten my hands.
We did.
It's just it's not just half webpads. They're amazing. Yeah, they're so great.
It's you know. We were donated a pop up store in South Street Seaport right after my son passed, and we had all of his artwork and we had this amazing wall where people would come in and write about their mental illness and people come in just read the balls and we sold merchandise and it was like one of the best things that if I could do that
all over again, I would. I would do it because I think once people hear the story from me from a mother and people see my son's face, you know, like I want I don't want it to just be a story. I want them to like, look at my son. He was nineteen years old. You know, he played lacrosse. He plays it like he Yeah, he's no different, no different. So I think that it's once you make it as real as you can for these kids and have it not like sit down, Like look at his face. Look
at his initial posts on Happy Jack. He started this company, not me. Go back on Instagram, you know, at a Happy Jack world and look at his original posts. He'll tell he was very He'll tell you I have anxiety, I struggle with depression. I want to be the voice for kids who have none. That was well him, and I'm just trying to continue what he started. And that's why I am as transparent as I am today.
Okay, I love you madly. Over the Moon Beyond and you guys were having an event in August, so we'll both Brady and I both and Jackie obviously I'd love to be there. Yeah, and a big fundraiser which we'll talk more about. But I don't even what do you say, Brady, I just I love you. I'm in awe of you, your pain is our pain.
You know, I love you dearly. You know that. I would just say, even if your kids tell you you're annoying, keep talking, yeah, keep talking, going to you know, I sent, I was the mom, I sent the videos, I pharted all that shit that we you know, we all do, right. Jack would say like, do you ever send me anything good? I'm like, but it can happen, And He's like, man, you worry too much. Well, I know.
Rachel's like, how many times do you send me a video of Bret? How do I break out of my car if it goes underwater? It's how many of those who would have watched.
I didn't even think of that, Oh jeez, because they come up and then you just forward forward for I know, it's very scary.
The statistics are a bit higher with a fantastical but yeah, I mean, anyone could reach out to me. I'm you know, our email addresses on the site, their resources on the site as well. We've had a ton of press coverage. You know. I encourage everyone to speak out and own who they are and just keep talking.
Thank you for everything that you do, because you could have very easily just you know, crawled up in the ball and and not let anyone see your face. And you took the complete opposite route and decided to make Jack's mission your mission. And you probably have saved so many lives that you don't even know about.
I hope.
So yeah, I'm sure you have.
I hope.
I love you.
I love you more. Thank you, Brady, Thank you guys.
That was a description of my worst nightmare all of all mothers. I just I don't know that I can talk right now.
I know, well you have to because someone has to close out the segment.
But I think, if anything, it will start a very important conversation in my house that has never been had, and I would guess a lot of people have never had with their kids because you're.
Timing of this is really perfect in terms of like you're sending your kids off to college soon.
I feel like that is just such well.
Also, they go to curious time, and you know, it's so scary to think that people are so reckless with other people's lives and to think of the amount of pain that she has to carry every.
Day, every day, and it doesn't That's why I said to her, how are you doing?
Are you? I say, stupid? Ship?
Is it getting any better. No, it's not getting better. It's never going to get better. It'll get different, maybe not better, you know, all.
Right, you're amazing for that event, and keep me posted, keep us well posted on the details, and it's so important and happy Jackie. Guys, So to happy Jack buy some merchant charity.
Okay, lovey bye guys, Bye guys,