This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison and Lauren Ziema opening up the playbook what do we Got Today?
Alzi the playbook today a big question. If you're married, do you always have to wear a wedding ring? Now, this topic came to me. It's been spurred by a few things. As you know, Housewives fan, we have Real Housewives of New York and Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airing, and on both franchises, we got a couple guys who aren't wearing their wedding rings all the time. Now, for one guy, the wife says, this is on New York City. She says, I don't care that he doesn't
wear a wedding ring. She said he lost it like a week after they got married years ago. She says it doesn't bother her, they're fine. Her friends are a little suspicious of it, and she tells them you need to get over that. And one woman on the show agrees with her and says, a guy wearing a wedding ring has nothing to do with whether he's going to cheat. What's the big deal there? All you do is take the ring off and put it in your pocket. Over
on Salt Lake City, similar situation, but different takes. The woman tells her husband, Hey, you have been wearing your wedding ring lately and it really hurts me. She sees him putting it in his drawer. She says, that's hurtful to me, and actually it's making her back off of their intimate life because she doesn't feel comfortable and safe. Interesting, So this could go a lot aways, and I thought
we got to get into it. Especially, Yeah, as you and I have, you know, picked out wedding rings not that long ago, and are about to do this ourselves. So right, what do you think off the bat? If you're married, do you need to wear your wedding ring all the time?
Yeah? Especially this is a little heavy since we have wedding rings ordered. I think it's a case by case basis, and I'm not trying to waffle here and get out of this. But like you know, my boy Chip who lost his ring like a week into his marriage. He's this guy he went through like five rings, lost them all.
But here's the difference. Chip got more rings. This guy has never gotten another ring.
And a ring by the way, now, for some reason, he's kept the or a ring.
Oh the thing that's monitoring his sleep. Well, he's very health conscious. But regardless, he's gotten more rings and he's continued to wear a ring. Even when he's lost them, he gets a new one. This guy has not lost it a week after his wedding, has never worn a ring. Listen. I think it's I think if you're married, wear a wedding ring. I do, and I agree with that one woman on the show that just because you're wearing a wedding ring doesn't mean you're not going to cheat. It
is as easy as slipping the ring off. But I think it's a symbol. I think it's meaningful. I do think that it's a public show that you're in a relationship. Again, it's not going to protect I mean, if people want to cheat, they're going to find a way to cheat. But I think it's a public proud showing that you're
in a relationship. And I think it's a red flag if somebody doesn't want to wear a ring, just like you know in the social media age over on ninety Day Fiance the other day which I was watching, this woman was telling her boyfriend it it doesn't it doesn't ring well for me that you don't ever want to post about our relationship, that you don't want to share pictures of us. Like I think if somebody's not willing to make public shows of your relationship, at least on occasion, that's a red.
Flag to me. I, for one, just personally, I'm excited. I'm excited to wear a ring. I'm excited to have that symbol that bond and it's a bond with you, and it's something we get to both look at. And I love looking at your ring, and so to me, that's fun and it's exciting and I can't wait. And I get there's times when you can't wear your ring, but like I go to the gym or I go play golf in this particular ring, I think will probably
be a little problematic with that. And so I've talked about buying a silicone ring, something I could just have on still, because I just like the fact that it's there, and I do. I want my friends to see it, my guy friends to see it. I want everyone to know that. So when you get married, if you are reluctant or if you've been wearing it now all of a sudden, you're not like the woman said, he takes it off, puts it in his drawer.
I actually think that's a worse sign than I totally agree. Then I've just never been somebody who wears a ring.
Because if someone's been wearing it for a couple of years and it's like, okay, so it doesn't bother him, it's normal, and then all of a sudden, he's just not that's not great. That's not a good sign.
Yeah, And I do think what's what I want to applaud both of these couples on these shows on about is they're both talking about it, and they're both saying this is what works or doesn't work for us. Like on New York, the wife is saying, he's never worn a ring, and I don't care. People know we're married, we have kids together. I don't care. Okay, then that
works for you. And over on Salt Lake City, the wife is telling her husband, it is bothering me that you're not wearing the ring, and she's communicating that very clearly. So there's always the what works for you l element. But if I'm talking overarching like I don't know, I guess I also think it's nice to not have to defend your relationship, and there are certainly societal norms that might or might not be wrong, But like, I don't know, it's such a small thing. It's like, dude, wear a ring.
You know, if you're married and you want to be proud of your wife, why not throw a ring on so she doesn't have to defend herself and defend your relationship.
I mean, you have it. It's in your drawer. It's not like you get this guy I'm.
Talking about the New York he allegedly lost it, But why not get another ring?
Look, I agree again painting with a broadbrush here, I totally agree. I think it's a sign of respect, it's a sign of love, it's a sign of bond and unity, and of what the ring actually means. I mean, there is a part of the vowels in your wedding that have to do with that symbol and what it what it signifies. So I find it personal. I find it very important.
You know what. That's such a good point you just made. As we're about to take vowels well case by case. But if your vows had something in them about the symbolism of the ring, that's not in every wedding vow. But if your vows have that, well, then yeah, that ring means something. So wear the ring and you're not wearing it means something.
I think every time I look at my ring, or of every day I put it on, it will mean something to me. It's a it's a it's a commitment.
I know that when I look down at my engagement ring. I've literally texted you this before. It makes me happy. When I look down at my ring, it makes me think of you. It makes me happy. And yeah, I don't I think, not in a materialistic way like it's this thing, but the meaning of it. And if you took vows and the vows were about putting the ring on and with this ring, I promise this, then it has weight. And did your vows mean something? You know?
But I think it always comes back to that all important word communication. If you don't like what this guy is doing, if you don't like he's not wearing a ring, you need to bring it up. That is incoming upon you to say, Babe, it really hurts me. You're leaving the house every day and you're not wearing a ring.
You're going out with the boys, you're going to golf, you're going to work, and that response from him, yeah is pretty easy and it should be, babe, if that's important to you, Oh my gosh, I'm putting my ring on.
So you okay, That's what I was going to kind of ask you. Do you think it's a warning sign if a guy's not willing to wear a ring, especially when the woman says, or if anybody man, woman, whatever, if the partner says it's bothering me that you're not wearing that broadbrush.
Yes, if someone says I really want you to wear that, it means a lot to me. And you've you've worn it before and now you're just not one hundred percent. That's a red flag, which, by the way, I'm not sure why, because he could just wear it out the house and take it off if that's what he wants to do. Again, it's not a chastity bell, it's not a fail safe, right, but it is that symbol to me. And I totally see that woman's point on the on the flip side, and I get that if this is you,
I get it because I have friends like this. He's just a dopey dude. He's got three kids. Everybody knows they're married in the neighborhood, nobody cares. That doesn't look I get their situation.
Right, because it's a thing that might not mean anything. Like you could be a very happily married person with kids and you love your life and you love your family, and you just don't wear a ring. Of course, it could mean nothing, but it could also mean something.
It could and in these cases it seems like it does well.
And when I mean, you're a guy who you hang out with other guys a lot, you go golfing, you know, in these places where it's only men around, if you see a guy who doesn't wear his ring, or if you like, I don't know, does that is that a get a warning sign to you? Or does it?
You know, it's funny, you know it's funny. I was just thinking. I was racking my brain because you know, I go on golf trips with the guys, and again we go to these as you know, as they send you pictures, Oh my gosh, the most desolate places.
On these golf trips, and I'm like, I can't believe you're paying for this, because he will send me a video where they're at. They've got bunk beds, they're in this like cabin. It looks like it's barely summer camp. They've got bunk beds, and he's so excited. Is there this cool golf course and it's the I'm like, where are you eating? He's like, well, it's in the middle of nowhere. All there is is this cafeteria.
You have to kill and eat our own food.
I'm just thinking, you, this is what you're paying for. I would pay to go to the nicest.
Spot we were let's say we were in a big city or something like that. I don't know if I would notice. I don't know if I I specifically look at my friend's fingers to know if they have their rings on or not. Is that weird?
Are you saying that straight men aren't detail oriented?
Like I was just thinking, like, I mean, well that that posed it like, do you like, would you notice if you girls want? Now?
Honestly, I wouldn't. I guess. I'm more so meant like, do you see I don't know. I guess I'm I feel like there are also and maybe it means that the ring doesn't mean that much. Yeah, but I feel like you just know in groups of guys, you kind of know who the guys are really love their wives and are faithful and are great. And then you know who the guys are who are like a little flirty, right, and it's not great and you know, and that's obvious.
So maybe maybe what you're saying is, yeah, the ring thing doesn't matter if you don't even you know, I don't know.
I don't notice, but I would. I would bet strangers do other other women like if when you were single, did you go to a bar and was one of the first things you did look down at his left hand? Uh, I would look when I was single, I one hundred percent with.
Probably not because I'm thinking about when I was single. I was like, so I was in my early twenties. People weren't like married that much.
I definitely looked when I because I was in my what forties. Yeah, and so I definitely would go if I was at a bar or something I found somebody interesting, I for sure looked at their finger to see if they had a ring on.
Now, I will say there have been times when I didn't always bring or wear my engagement room because I was like worried about it, right, because you think there's it's just worth a lot of money, so I would get nervous, Like sometimes I would lock my ring in a safe, like on a girl's trip. If I'm going out, you know, I don't know, like when we've been in Mexico. Honestly, like there have been times and I'm like, we're going out and I don't know. I don't want to like it. I'm like worried.
Sometimes when you travel abroad, we're jumping.
In, We're in a boat, we're jumping Yeah. I think when you and I were in Europe, I didn't always wear it out because we didn't necessarily know where we were. Again, if we're going swimming in the ocean, I would probably leave in the safe in the hotel room. So that's stuff I get. But when you're not wearing it day in, day out, I do think it's a red flag.
I agree, and I can't wait to wear my ring.
Oh that's very sweet, very soon. Well. I was about to say you have to say this because we're on this podcast, but you have been telling me just no, I'm excited.
I really am. I'm genuinely excited. I can't wait for everyone to see it.
I love it. I think it's very classic and it's very you.
And you have decided to wear a band, yes, at.
A band, well, but you know what, that's a whole other layer of this. I love my engagement ring as it is, so the band I picked doesn't fit in with it the way some people do. So I think I will always either wear my engagement ring or this band like one or the other. Or a friend of mine of ours told me what she does is she wears the band on her right hand all the time and her engagement ring on her left hand all the time. So maybe I'll do that.
You know what's interesting, You know what never gets talked about is a woman not wearing her ring. Why is it the you know what I mean, that's not a thing.
It's a storyline on the real hospital season.
It's it's the guy, which means, you know what, it is a red flag.
It's okay.
I think that just yeah, I think I think that just summed it up for me. Thank you guys so much for joining us. We absolutely love talking to you. I love diving into these bizarre, exciting, thought provoking subjects, and we will do it again next time because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.