This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas. And look, we're still basking in the glow as we have passed the one month mark of our wedding and our marriage.
One month of NAPA, one week I think since Austin maybe eight days. We really had a month of marriage.
There was so we've covered this before, but so we had two weddings. There was one in NAPA on October fourteenth. We did a huge blowout cowboy chic party here in Austin November fourth somebody asked, hey, what are you all going to do about your anniversary? When are you going to celebrate your anniversary? And luckily we both looked at each other. You know, when did you ever do this with your spouse And you say what are you thinking? One? Two, three?
And you say what you were thinking? We did that basically with our anniversary. And we both said the same thing. NAPA, October fourteenth.
You know, we didn't discuss the re Why is that the anniversary for you?
I cried the most because it was the first time we set our vows, the first time we really said I do. That was all of our you know, mom's dad, my dad was there, brothers, sisters, all, so totally Yeah, it was just everybody was there.
It was uh, it was the emotion that we wanted.
It was the intimacy also.
The anticipation, the build up of the walking down the aisle moment, and we hadn't heard the vows before.
Yeah to me. Also, it'll feel weird to just it'll be like a stop sign. I'm blowing through a stop sign.
I know.
We got married on October fourteenth. We're just going to pass go not collect two hundred dollars and go to November fourth. I would miss it.
Anyone else is dumb. But logistically, yeah, my birthdays November thirty, Thanksgiving is the twenty score. There's too many things well truly, you know what. We struggled with that with our date and aniversary because we went on our first date two days after this is birthday, and so for a long time in our dating life, we literally moved. We started saying,
let's celebrate our dating anniversary. Let's just pick another time and make it later than it because it's we couldn't do your birthday and then have our anniversary two days later. You got to space this stuff out.
And I can bring something up dark. It was my first marriage. That was November twentieth.
Oh, I did not know that, and it was right. I'm learning that for the first time. I had no idea. You got married on November twenty and.
It was Thanksgiving week.
Honey, Why did you get married on Thingsgiving week?
It was a lot of bad decisions make that we just we had to move it up and graduate. It was a lot. I was so young. So we did it November and it was like Thanksgiving week. It's probably because the church was available for really cheap.
You got to think about these things, I know.
So I agree logistically October fourteenth is much better. And so we are over a month into this beautiful marriage and I can tell everybody marriage is bliss. We're loving it. Everything's fantastic.
Well, the topic that we have today, which was suggested to us, is post wedding blues. Are they a real thing? Do you have them? I do not have them at all. I think in part because you know what else is working? Well, we are. We're just not stopping. We're rolling right into the holidays. We had Dad's begin at TCU. Thanksgiving is coming, We're going to go celebrate my birthday, We're going to
have Christmas. So the celebrations just keep going. I remember reading a study that people are happier, not necessarily when they even have something fun presently that they're in, but when they have something to look forward to, Like you're a happier person if you're planning for a trip, or planning the holidays, or planning a vacation or something. So we just always have something to look for.
It's busy, and you know, it's funny. You also, this is something that we got to pay attention to now all of us, I don't mean us. Is you spend a lot less time on your phone when you're you spend a lot less time just sitting there.
Oh, somebody said to me, which I had not thought about. It made me so happy. We've had so many great compliments from people, and maybe everybody gets told this, but telling us your wedding was amazing, Like everybody loved Napa and I do. I feel like we got everything we
wanted out of both days. I truly there's a little part of me that feels like like my dad was making sure we had a good ad and that everything went well because there was something magical about like even the weather that in Napa the week before it was a heat wave and then in Austin the week before it was thirty degrees. We just got lucky with both weekends and everything was so perfect. And by the way, in Austin, we did not have a rain plan. I did not have a rain plan. We got married at
Ranch Austin, this beautiful outdoor ranch. If it had been raining, I mean, I guess we would have had to order an emergency tent. We did not have a plan. But anyway, we got lucky. But I also had people message me that at both weddings, so we did tell people, please take photos and videos if you want, but we asked
that you do not post anything. We wanted to keep the weddings private, and then we wanted to just announce everything after Austin, and many people told me, well, because you said no posting, I wasn't like checking Instagram and I wasn't on my phone during your weddings and that made it so much more fun. And I thought that was a side effect they didn't expect. But that makes me so happy.
Yeah, there's there I'd love to know where everybody falls on this social media. Our phones are such a big thing. Obviously, you go to concerts, all you see is everybody's phones.
And a lot of the wedding photos you see people like when we walked down the aisle, people are taking pictures, which I get it, you wanted that was it all realize the event.
Nobody really did that in Napa, which was great. Austin was much more of kind of a social party event, so everyone did have their phones out. But where do you fall on making that rule of no phones because also people want to capture those moments, and so I get it both ways of you're only going to walk down that aisle, well once at each one, but you know, like Colton's wedding, I remember.
For Colton's ceremony, they actually, I think the officient actually said and everyone please put your phone down, which did make it so yeah, present and wonderful, especially at the ceremony. I never really get that because it's like, if you're a guest, you know, the professional photographers are taking the pictures, like you don't need to worry about it. But yeah, that was a good side effect of people saying because
we'd said don't post. Yes, they took pictures and videos, but they said because we couldn't post them that night, I wasn't on social media, which I think made it really present and fun. Now, I will say, if we're talking about post wedding blues, it's helped not have post wedding blues to go through the pictures and videos. So everybody, thank you for taking some pictures and videos and posting them later.
It's amazing how refreshing it is when you go to an event that you're not allowed to have a phone in. We went to Dave Chappelle or I went to the Masters at Augusta, and it's crazy that that many people nobody has a phone, and it's so weird. It's like stepping back in time now to be present and realize you look around and everybody's present. You don't have the cheat, you don't have the defense mechanism where you're just going to go and look at something for no reason at all,
just because it's like a nervous tick. You have now And I think for the most part the wedding was that as well. Even though people did bring out their phones in Austin, people were very present, and I love that, and I don't have the blues because I have no regrets. And I think that goes a long way, is that both wedding celebrations were exactly how we intended. It's exactly
what we wanted, who we wanted. There was no drama. No, I don't look back and go, hmm, I really wish we hadn't invited her or him, and I wish they hadn't done that. I wish the meal had been this or you know, oh, you know what, we should have had this. I have no regrets. I have no and it's not saying it was so perfect that we wouldn't have made it better. I just have no regrets. And so when I think back on it, it's only fondness
and beautiful and celebratory. The only thing you and I did say last night is everyone seemed to have such a great time and just it was such a great expression and release. Do we need to do it again? Do we need to do an anniversary like every year now? Do we need to throw a party on that scale?
I mean, people have very kindly said, can you get married again? I had such a great time dancing all night. I've heard that from so many people or people after NAPA said can you get married again so we can all go back to NAPA together. I think I completely agree with you the look. Part of a huge part of the reason I fell in love with you is because I saw early on that to you, what was important in life was the people in it. And we did both of these weddings prioritizing people and NAPA. We
wanted intimate time with family and friends. In Austin, we wanted a big blowout party with family and friends. Emotion was at the center of both. And by the way, I had somebody comment on one of my posts, wow, how decondent to have two weddings. If there is one thing I'm going to spend money on in life, it is the people I love. And we also worked very hard to keep the budget low and keep two weddings
under the budget of one. But yeah, so I just I think the people being the priority was what made it perfect, right, Like, yeah, okay, I could look back and say, oh, maybe we should have done this or this. But I also realized when I was doing interviews, you can go into an interview and even if it went so well, you'll still look back and hindsight is, Oh, maybe I wish i'd ask this question too. It's impossible for something to be totally perfect, but it was pretty
damn near close and it was everything we wanted. So you're right, I don't have the blues because I'm so happy without what. You can't ask for anything more.
And by the way, whoever texted that, you're right, it was decadent. But one thing that Lauren and I have always agreed on is with our finances, and this is something huge in our marriage and our relationship. We spend money on the same things. We like to spend money on the same things, which is our family, our friends, each other, not really ourselves.
We spend money on experience.
Yeah, neither one of us are big spenders about ourselves. Like you're not going to go out and really buy yourself a bag, or I'm not going to go buy a big watch or something like. We like to do that for each other. We like to buy wine together, We like to have dinners and buy people dinners and experiences. Yeah, experiential expenses. Those things are fine to us. And that's why not having a wedding planer was fine. Could a wedding a planer have maybe decorated, done some odds and
ends better than us. Sure, maybe, but that's not what we want to spend money on. We don't get joy from that. And if you do, great, that's just us. So I guess my advice and my takeaway is we went through our wedding. Any big event, make sure you're spending money on what you want to experience.
I have to say, I think part of why we don't have those post wedding blues and there's no solution. That was very out there, there's no I think it helped that it was our second wedding, your first wedding.
We have such an intense culture around weddings in America and how it has to be this it's the biggest day of your life and spend all this money and and I think when you first get married, when you're younger, you probably factor in your parents and your family's desires more like we've got to invite, you know, our parents' business associates and all.
That fifth cousin who you've never met.
So I think this time around, we also were just a little older and wiser, and not that we didn't factor our family in. We did, but you know, that you've you're able to have those conversations and create that balance a little bit more.
I don't no, one hundred percent. We were much more intentional ourselves, and we didn't. And look, I think the other thing is I didn't pay for my first wedding. I didn't have any money, right, I was a bro a broadcast kid. So they are definitely going to have more saying it because they're paying for it. And so that's also a decision we made. You and I obviously paid for one hundred percent of it. We weren't going to our parents in this adult phase of our lives.
Maybe we should give a couple quick takeaways. Let's do five things were really glad we did, and maybe five things we wish we did. Let's start with the five things we wish we did, so that we end on a hihine.
Okay, okay, do you have any.
I wish I'd called a florist sooner than a week before the wedding. That was on me. I will say, in Austin, in Napo, we did not have flowers, and that was because we got married on this beautiful vineyard. And in Austin, we got married in this beautiful ranch like the oak trees were beautiful, but we definitely needed something on the tables in Austin, and I was going to be really low key and just go to chib which we love Hi Blooms I've heard is great and get some flowers from them.
I buy flowers for you often, yes, but.
It would have been a lot of and so I ended up getting in touch with this incredible florist, something Pretty Floral out of Dallas, Taylor Davison's that she was amazing and she literally did the flowers in a week and they were incredible, but she probably could have done even more if I'd just given her more time. So that was on me. There were moments when I was a little too chill on the second time around. So that's one wish I would have done. I am miss
flowers shouldn't be everything. I don't think you should spend tens of thousands on flowers because they don't make the night. But I should have factored in the aesthetics a little more.
I probably I would have produced the stage a little more, set decorated more. Again, that was not having a wedding planer. Yeah, just because Yeah, Napa was perfect as far as that goes, I wouldn't change anything about NAPA. There's just nothing. There's nothing.
It was my perfect that's why it's so anniversary. Yeah.
But with Austin, we were a little bit more haphazard about it because we had had NAPA and it was the formality of it that we thought, let's be a little more loosey goosey, and Austin will kind of figure it out. Which was awesome because, like you and I walked down the aisle together. That's something you know, a husband and wife don't ever do at a wedding, to walk together down the aisle. It was great. I recommend
it because we'd done it the other way. But you know, the stage being set and the band and where we were doing it and this, all those things I probably should have looked at a little earlier than two days before, which is when we did it.
Yeah number three in Austin. I would have stuck to our timeline a little more. We somehow wound up forty five minutes late in Austin, and I want to thank the Little Wedding Band. If you have any party in Austin or anywhere in Texas, the Little Wedding Band brings the party like no one else, and they stayed about an hour late for us.
So thank you, yeah, because we I don't know how we got off either, but that did happen. And again kudos to a wedding planner who would have been there and been like, hey.
Guys, probably should have had a day of coordinator in Austin.
My main thing. I don't know if this is four or five or whatever, but this is number one on my list. I at the end the night should have had a crew, a team to take down. So we had people from the event staff working serving drinks and kind of picking up trash whatever. But at the end of the night at my own wedding, I wanted to just get in our car and drive home and go
to bed. Instead, we loaded up my truck. Yeah, we did, full of wine and alcohol and flowers and buttercake and things, and took props home and then we had to get home and then unload their So I spent my wedding night unloading boxes and things into our garage. So that's something I would have changed. I would have liked to have walked away from me that just been done.
So we should have just had a little more help. Yeah, as great of producers as we are, I will say, look, like you know, we've talked about the not having a wedding planner thing. We should have done a day of coordinator, and then this day of coordinator probably would have helped us with all these logistics. I have no regrets about not having a wedding planner, but a day of coordinator might have helped us little more in the end. I mean, we're picking it's here. Yes, we're just giving our advice.
Yeah, but that's what I after two.
Wedding, No, wait, after three weddings, given that we were both married once before and then had two weddings together, this is our advice and takeaway. So I would do a day of coordinator. I would say, think about the aesthetics, because the pictures go everywhere.
And if you're doing it, if it's not a destination wedding, think about how much work you personally are going to have to do.
Yeah, and then, like you said, the staging and the timing. You were so good at something that I think most people probably don't think about. But it was your TV background. Chris was literally thinking where will the sun hit at the time we get married, because he was thinking about photos video. He was thinking about the sun in the guest's eyes. I recommend be at your venue and do a walk through before the wedding at the exact time that you will be getting married, so that you can think about.
A lot of people show up for their rehearsal walk through. Whatever it look if you're indoors as a matter, but if you're outdoors, especially, you go at ten in the morning and you look around, like, oly, this looks great. Well, if you're getting married at magic hour.
How hot will it be? Will be in your guest's eyes, that kind of thing.
So I stayed at the venue to wait to see where the sun was and how we were going to angle it, and so we we ended up pushing our ceremony thirty minutes later. We were going to do it.
My gosh, that's why we were an hour late.
We will well, we were going to do it at five thirty, and we did it at six because the sun was perfectly behind the oak trees.
Oh there you go. There, what my timeline.
It's okay. Then let's end on the positive. As we wrap this.
Up, I'm really glad we did Yeah.
Well, well again, I'll say, walk down the aisle together. To me, that was one of the most magical things to do with you because I got to hold your hand. I was so calm and happy, and I got to look into everybody's eyes. I just loved walking with you, and you were the one that slowed us down. We were walking, you slow down, so we slowed down and took that moment in. That's one of my favorite things from our wedding is walking down the aisle together. I don't know why more people don't do that.
Wellnjoy it because you want the walking down the aisle moment, which you kind of Napa. But in Napa you I was so focused on looking at you, which I'm really glad about. But then you know, you don't really see your guest face, so it faces. So I'm glad we had in Austin. And you know what, you, as a groom, got to have a walking down the aisle moment. Most grooms don't.
Ever get that. Well, you kind of do it first, but it's it's.
Such a yeah, you're just trying to get there and yeah. So I love that we did that.
What's something else that you absolutely loved?
Well, I could go big or specific. I mean, I am so glad that at the end of the day, our priorities always were people, good food, good wine, good music like that, that's really what you need for a party, and our focus state on that. And one thing I always had in the back of my mind which helped me stay calm and not stressed, like the florist did tell me you are the chillest bride I've ever met, which I I'll take that compliment, thank you. But it
was because I kept going by this gauge. I kept thinking I love Chris so much I would marry him in our living room tomorrow and be happy. And because I had that in my mind, everything else i'd like was gonna be okay, no matter what. And yeah, that was a big thing. Getting back to specific, Sorry I had to say that, But one specific thing I'm really
glad we did. I'm really glad everybody stayed at the same hotel in Napa like that, because it was a destination wedding and we had some people say, hey, could I and I was kind of an advocate of no, we want everyone at the same hotel, and we asked the hotel, the Archer Hotel in Napa, which was so wonderful in advance, we said, can you try to put
all our people even on the same floors. It turned into this like almost sorority house dorm vibe where we were walking out of our rooms together and waving high to people and getting ready together. And it made it such a cohesive, fun weekend where our dream came true, and our dream was for the people we love, who maybe aren't from all the same worlds, to get to know each other even about it.
One thing that I think is interesting about most weddings is that the bride and groom aren't a part of most of the fun, which is just the simple times.
And when we were all together at the same hotel, you go down on the lobby to get coffee and you just ran into people and you ended up sitting and having breakfast or having tea or whatever, and so there were so many more social moments where you and I got to enjoy everybody that was there for our wedding, as opposed to Austin when everybody's at ten different hotels and you heard later, oh we went back and did this, and oh we did this, and we weren't a part
of that. We didn't get to experience a lot of what happened in Austin, and I'm glad everybody had a good time. But in Napa, I feel like we got eighty five percent of it. You know. We got to see everybody and just happenstance, run into people a lot more than we did in Austin. When we were home, everybody was all over town.
I'm really glad we didn't do a big bridal party. I've just been a part of so many weddings where you got to start all getting ready at six in the morning because there's ten bridesmaids, and then you got to take a bus around and do a million photos with all the different groups. I'm glad that we didn't have this big bridal party because we were able to just start getting ready about ten in the morning. And also we weren't super focused on a million post photos.
We got a lot of really good candid shots, and I think that gave us more time to do exactly what you're starting up to, just spend.
Again with people what's important to us. You and I both agreed a bunch of staged photos. Granted, you and I have been photographed a lot in our life, so like The last thing I wanted was another just photo of myself looking you know, like, that's not going.
To be your favorite photo when you look at it. Your favorite photo is going to be everybody together on the day.
It's us dancing on fire.
That's going to spark emotions and memories.
And that's us. We share that together, which I love. But and my final takeaway is my favorite thing is everything was intentional. Those intentional things are what I will remember. What you know, we intended to walk down the aisle together. William Beckman, our good friend and country music star singing to us, Taylor singing beyond. You know Cameron from Bam BAM's Barbecue is who cooked our barbecue. It wasn't just some vendors of a very good friend of ours. Now.
He actually cooked the pork butt in our driveway. I'm looking at the smoker in our driveway.
Stayed with us at our house in Austin, was cooking in our kitchen for three days before the wedding. My mom is he's another son of my mom's, so at this point she low.
So everything that was happening around us. It wasn't just someone putting out the food. It was Cam and you know, and I love that. When I saw someone pouring the wine, I'm like, oh, that's Catherine Hall, and so I loved the intention. Everywhere I looked around our wedding, I saw me Yeah.
And in Napa as well. It was vineyards that were special to us, Roy Estate and Lacoya for both nights and where we have friends were friends of ours for years. We're literally setting up our wedding events. I'll do some rapid fire things. I'm really glad. We did one signature drinks. We had these signature cocktails in Austin, and I love a signature drink at a party. It feels special, it feels fun. We did a little nod to The Bachelor.
They were called the Final Rose and the Bachelor No More, made with our favorite Samprey tequila, and they were so good that we ran out of tequila. I think that's just like a fun little aesthetic and also yummy. Note people told me, yeah, one of them had rose syrup in them. It was Sanprey tequila lemonade roast syrup garnished with edible rose pedals. It was fun. Two really glad. A nap up that on the way to our welcome party.
We did a boy's bus and a babes bus. We had that little mini bachelor and bachelorette party in the shuttle on the way for the weekend. We knew it would be everybody who's with couples, so we said, right now, all the girls on a bus, all the boys on a bus. And that was fun. Three. I'm really glad that for our wedding registry we did a donation page instead, so we asked people to instead of giving us gifts, to please if they wanted to donate to one of
three organizations. AIM Mental Health, which is an organization Chris is supported for years and we host their gala for them every year. The Grant Haliburton Foundation, another organization you've supported for years for youth mental health and suicide prevention out of Dallas. And then the third was for Experienced
Camps where I volunteer. It's camps for grieving kids. And we weren't able to track the AIM and Grant Halliburton donations, but Experience Camps was able to set up a special donation page for us, and to date right now we have raised seventeen thousand dollars, which has been amazing and was so heartwarming. It just meant so much to me, like stuff is stuff. It is amazing to me that we were able to give.
Back tens of thousands of dollars raise for charity. It's awesome and it says a lot about you. But it was a great idea. I love that. And again, when you're into the second marriage, when you're later in life, you don't need a crockpot. So I love that we turned that into a charitable game, and I like that everybody dove in and became such a big part of it. Says a lot about the people that were at our wedding.
So there you go. Those are the takeaways. And no wedding blues, no wedding blues, just happy memories.
Just still no voice and cranking out content on Instagram so that we can share all of this because thank you guys so much for your support, your love, your wonderful comments, like sharing. A huge part of the joy of this has been sharing it with you all, and it's just really warmed our hearts. We feel so grateful for you.
And speaking of giving thanks because that is the season we are in as we all head into Thanksgiving. Lauren and I wish you your families the very best, all the love in the world. If you are traveling this week, take care of each other, be safe, love each other. We all have a lot to be thankful for, especially the woman sitting next to me right now, and you thank you so much. We give thanks for the year that we've had with you on the Most Dramatic Podcast.
We will continue to do it because we love it so much, and we love all of you, and we'll do it again next time because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure to write us a review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.