Right on the Marks with RHOSLC Meredith Marks

This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. Chris Harrison sands Lauren Zema today because we are on the road. I'm not in the friendly confines of Austin, Texas. I've hit the road. I was at an amazing charity event, the TGR Foundation. It's Tiger Woods Foundation for all his learning centers and his learning labs. Awesome, awesome foundation that I love to support. I won't dive into my golfing as I know that Lauren Zema is somewhere right now

I of course appreciated. What is the magic sauce of Salt Lake City? You know, I think it's a lot of chaos. Like we're all wired very very differently. Just the way we process information is completely different. With you know,

And you're right, there is that side of religion, and there's just things that I think we're all curious about also getting a glimpse. There's the drama and all that. But yeah, you're right, there is a curiosity that we all just kind of want to see what's going on over there. Yeah, because it is very different.

Utah is a very I mean, look every state in the US, I feel like it's a little bit culturally.

Different, but I live in Texas. We all have our bugaboos exactly exactly, but Utah is a little more different. But you guys, And by the way, speaking of Utah and the backdrop and all that, the fashion is so high end, sometimes tragic, like some of the ski outfits are a little much. They're a little extra, as the kids would say. But it's fun. It's like I mean, it's it's something else you get to talk about. It's it's really fun.

And I think that's one thing that all of us, you know, on this show, really enjoy is fashion. That is really probably the only common ground that we all share, so it's fun and we can be we all appreciate each other's style, and it's different, and so that is one great common point for everybody.

So here's a very honest question I have for you, because I obviously you know that I spend a lot of time in the reality TV world, and what I find interesting are quote unquote villains I mentioned. Do you see yourself portrayed as a villain or like when you when you're out when you hear fans, Is that fair this?

Yes, some seasons, yes, you know it's it is and it isn't you know. It's like the thing is, as you well know, reality TV is snippets, and so it's interesting because it's snippets. If everyone saw everything that went on, it would be really boring and it would leave nothing to the imagination. So because of that, there's a lot of things that go on that you don't see and that may justify certain actions, but you don't know that those things happen because.

I always find and well, y'all, show is very different, and you kind of hit on it right there. Our show you have a season, right, you have a ten episode arc and you're good, You're bad, and you're done. You're not coming back next year, maybe come back at Paradise or whatever, but you're still kind of picking up

And you know, and I also think it's interesting because I think that, like it's just unfolds and and somebody always has to be a villain.

I mean, you need one. It's what makes it interesting. No, So I mean from sports to politics to TV, you got to have heroes and then you got to have the villains. Like you know, if you don't hate a team, you don't love your team as much. And that's just the way that's life.

And the thing too is at the end of the day, like for me, I know what I've done, I know what I haven't done, and so if there's things that are left open to the imagination, I know that at the end of the day, I'll be vindicated.

So it'll come to light. Yeah, because right now, the storyline right now is about you talking that someone's husband might be gay or is gay.

Yeah, I did not speculate on his sexuality after what I went through with my own son.

That's just not something I would do.

Did I hear these rumors. I didn't even hear rumors that he was gay. I just heard rumors that he had an affair with him.

Man.

That was all that I had heard up until a moment, which you got to watch and see the rest. So I don't want to get delve too deep into it. But yeah, yeah, but I you know, to me, I don't care, like that doesn't interest me. I mean, I care if that's not their arrangement and she's upset about it, I feel sorry for her. But above and beyond that, that's it, you know, And if that is their arrangement, good for them.

I hope they're happy. So at least let's tease this out so we will watch, we will find out how this culminates. Like we're playing this out. Whether you did say this, didn't what you said, well, we're gonna hear more. You'll see, you'll see.

And in fact, the rumors I referred to in Palm Springs in that moment of anger.

Oh my god, you and Palm Spring Yeah, it was crazy. Can we talk about that.

Yeah, the restaurant you went, the f off I did. Oh my god, I did you know? I'm a very calm person the time, exactly. You scared, Like that's when people should be scared. It's like, it's not good when I lose it, it's not good.

Forgive me. I forget that. The woman who was your friend, who was like in front of you trying to calm you down, Lisa, Lisa, bless her heart, by the way she stood there. Man, she was on the front lines and like anything could have happened at that moment. She was standing in front of Mount Vesuvius, And I'm like, girl, like, you got to be careful. You don't know what's about to happen. But you were. You were great. That was a stage four. Just meltdown. I would love it.

Yeah, I mean again, it's like, obviously there was a lot longer of a dinner than what you saw. And I was prodded at for quite a while on a lot of different subjects, and I had had a very emotional day about totally different things that had nothing to do with the women. But I was sensitive, and so you know, usually I can deal with a lot of the prodding, but that day I just reached a boiling point and I unleashed well.

And again, the producers are great, and so I watched these shows as a fan and then I watched them as a producer. So one of the things that they did that was kind of funny, and it's not funny for you because it was something obviously that was very heartfelt. There was something else going on in your life that you were very emotional about. Yes, they never obviously you probably talked about it, you probably explained it. They have

Well, and you know what's in all fairness to the other women, they really didn't know because I didn't feel that it was my story to tell. Yeah, and I also was trying to like have this fun girls trip and didn't want to bring negativity into it, so I wanted everything to stay sort of positive.

So you know, they knew I was upset. They could see that.

There were points during the day where I was fighting off cheers and things like that, but I was really trying to just ignore it and let it go. And it was just like when I reached a boiling point with everything, I couldn't let it all go. So they probably were sitting there thinking the same thing, you know, They're like, what is going on?

Like, she's crazy. It's not that I don't love you, and I do, but maybe my favorite and I hate to say character, but person on the show. Mary, Please tell me she is everything that I hope she is.

She is one hundred percent exactly like what you see. Oh my god, I mean she really is, you know, she's she just the way she processes information is so different.

Zero filter, zero f's given. Yeah, I feel like she's doing her own show, like y'all are doing your thing, and the producers like, okay, guys, here's the dinner setup. Everyone's gonna come in, we're gonna talk, we'll do our thing, and Mary's yeah, no, I'm gonna sit on the bus. I'm taking this poor pa, and I'm gonna make them run me through McDonald's. And again, being the producer, my guess is they probably tried to get her to dinner and she's like no. They're like, okay, well sorry, Bobby,

Mary goes to her own beat. You know, she definitely goes to her own beat. I mean, you know, she's just everything with her is just the way she thinks is so different and so entertaining, you know, and like you said, unfiltered.

And she could get as a producer they like, because I know she was on the show then she left and then they brought her back and I could see as a producer. Sometimes we've done that where like that person's a lot of drama and there kind of great content, but they're a lot so maybe they're they're too much, so we take them off the show and then you're like, wow, we really missed that drama, Like they're too good. And Mary is that person that's she's too good to leave

But weirdly, you know what, I don't feel like she actually causes that much drama.

No, she's just this moment. Yes, yes, she's our comedic release. Yes, yeah, okay, this was the moment that we rewound honestly fifteen times at my house with Lauren Zima. Did she pee on the bus? I knew that she just throwing up? Or did she pee? According to l z and I, I don't know. I think she peed. I it looks like it where it was. It wasn't like the I think.

But it might have been the bag of throat leaking. I'm not sure. I can't really tell.

We took we took a survey. I think the majority of people felt like she made on the bus. Yeah, it was not no matter what it was, it was not a great look.

No, I don't think that was her finest moment. I think she probably is ready to move on from that one.

I love the bus driver, this poor woman who is like opening the door. She's like sitting there with this nice look on her face, and I'm like, she has to go in. Someone has to clean up that. Whatever it was, Oh god, it was a disaster. But this would not be a fun job. I don't know whether to thank you, would be mad at you for this newest addiction in my life of Real housewives. That's all. I love the show. You guys are great, you really are.

Of course, Like I think that all the time. You know, it's a love hate relationship. And there are times that are like phenomenal and incredible, and then there are times where.

You're crying, like you're devastated.

You're like, I can't believe that people believe this about me because I know what my truth is. You know, So it's a love hate thing and that the highs are really high and the lows are really low.

Well, is there the biggest lesson or the biggest takeaway? Like if someone was getting into this, what would you tell them? Because I think everybody thinks I'm going to go on reality TV because people are gonna love me, like I'm going to I'm going to be the one that comes out looking good. I'm going to control my message. I'll know what I say, right.

Yeah, that would be the first thing I would say you have zero control, and I think that just naturally the types of people who are attracted to reality television tend to be a little more controlling of their lives and stuff, and that's a really hard thing to let go. I feel like that was hard for all the women.

Then, And when we talk about real I mean, something really huge happened in this franchise, Jen goes to jail, Like one of the people on the show is literally in jail right now. It rocked the show, but it's also something that rocked all of your lives. Yeah, and so when something that huge happens and it's captured, what was what's the emotion? How is you know how closely were y'all talking to producers of Hey, like, this woman's really going to prison, we need to deal with this it.

That was probably the hardest thing to navigate, I'm guessing for everybody. Okay, maybe it wasn't the hardest thing. I think dealing with my son was the hardest thing to navigate, but second hardest thing maybe, or it was definitely very high out there.

Because like we didn't know what was really happening.

You know, we spent all this time following her, you know, her story, I'm innocent, and then she switches at the end, and it's like, I've never had a friend go through this, And not only am I trying to navigate this for the first time in my life with somebody, Yeah, I'm doing it on worldwide television.

Trying to articulate it well.

And we're people are seeing bits and pieces too, you know. And so it was that was really really just difficult to navigate, and I think very hard on everybody.

Yeah, and you guys, I know you've continued to kind of talk about it this season, and it's kind of a point of consternation on the show because some you know, everyone has their opinions and how they feel about it and feel deceived, and so it's very interesting the layers of this. And she's in prison right now. Have you had a chance to talk to her, she reached out. I have not broken to her.

She has not reached out directly, but I did get a message from her husband asking me to send her a letter, which I did send, and it was returned for the wrong envelope and it was returned for the wrong paper. So now I'm on round three of rewriting the same note because it's seven months.

A federal penitentiary. So it's like very strict on you know.

Yeah, no, you can't send anything that's cute, basically, like it has to be white paper, white wow. So I've got to go redo that.

Well, you know, and this show has obviously been a huge part of your marriage, and that has been famously very difficult. You and I have something very similar in common. We both got married very young. You were twenty three, twenty four, twenty four when I got married. I was twenty three. When did y'all meet? What hell? Old? Were twenty three?

Okay, got married at twenty four, maybe twenty five, twenty seven.

That's where you beat me. I don't like I'm a kid. I didn't have my first until I was like twenty nine thirty, but I got you know, I met my then wife when I was eighteen years old. We were college sweethearts. Then we got married when we were twenty three. We were just babies, and you were a baby having babies.

Absolutely, absolutely, I might have been more mature than than I am now.

Really, really, I think I've regressed. That's that's kind of awesome though. I kind of like that. I like the awareness. That's so good. But you guys had three kids within what'd you just say, four or five years? Yeah? Yeah, five years married? You have three babies, and that puts a lot on a marriage. That's that's unbelievably difficult.

Well, it's just I think for us it was very stressful because, like you said, it's all so quick, and you know, when you first get married, like you should find your as a couple and are Yeah, we didn't do that. We just were like, oh, we're having kids, Oh, we're working. Oh we're busy with this, We're busy with that.

Well, and what would you say, kind of put it drove a wedge between you guys. Is it was it your careers and the fact y'all are traveling and you're going different directions all the time. I think that was a part of it.

I think part of it was just like having kids so quickly too, you know, I don't know that they put.

A wedge, but it just it.

It made it harder for us to find our footing in the relationship first, you know. And and I just think that over time, we are so focused on the kids, so focused on careers, so focused on basically everything, accept each other.

Yeah, And then and that stuff happens, you know, so easily, And when you're listening to this podcast or you just you hear stories, you're like, well, why didn't you communicate? Why? But it is something that is so common and it happens so quickly because you are so knee deep, like kids are difficult, they're so tough. Three kids exponentially tough. Yes, and so you're just like, your life is not your own anymore? No, it's not.

And the thing too, is why that is the communication is the whole key to everything. And the problem is that once you get into this negative spiral and communication it's almost impossible to break it on your own.

It really is. It's something that seems so simple, like we just need to talk, we just need to but it's it is. Why is it so difficult to bridge that gap and to fix when that that chasm has been created? What is it?

I think there's just such hostility that vesters and grows and then you know, and you start reacting to each other rather than responding. It just gets like rough and if for us, as soon as we got into like a good couples therapist and we rewired how we communicated everything, Like, I mean, it's still a lot of work, but it changed very quickly.

I was going to ask, what how because I know you guys took a break and but you you're back together and you're you're doing so much better therapy and just having having a professional work with you guys in like communication. Yeah, I think our therapist was amazing.

I mean for sure, and I we're probably the only ones on the planet that can say, you know, real housewives coupled with the pandemic saved our marriage.

Very odd because it brought you because well, the pandemic like made you forced you to be back together.

The pandemic for ud us to be back together and to kind of reevaluate, especially early on whenever I was a little terrified, you know, made you reevaluate what you care about, what's important, things like that. That's funny, Yeah, And the show, interestingly, because we had already been through quite a bit of counseling and had been working so much on our communication. When we were able to watch things back and see the way we behaved, we grew from that.

When we were in you know, in real time.

Filming and stuff like that, you're just so much more hyper aware of the way you say things to somebody, and.

You had game film to watch, watching your games breaking it down exactly. Most couple do not get that opportunity. And it's funny because I was going to ask if if the show had made it more difficult, but it actually seems to have helped you, guys, because I know these shows can often be.

There are definitely moments that are are hard and that are you know, not great. But I think that if in fact you're meant to be together, you're going to use the show as a tool to help you rather than hurt you.

Do you think you guys will kind of get remarried again, like renew your vows or do something.

So I'm afraid to do that because everyone says it's like a curse and they joined up and divorce.

You know, it's funny I heard that. I never heard. I never knew about that, but recently someone told me about renewing your vals is like bad. I'm like, is that a thing? I don't know.

That's what they say, at least they say that on like reality to you, Okay, so I don't know if that's like just on.

TV Orsetta Housewives saying. You know what I think Lauren told me about that that every couple that's renew their Housewives has gotten divorced or broken up except for Whitney and Justin, so don't do it.

They're together, Okay, they're together because we saw in the previous there's some trouble and paradise there.

I don't know what happens, but you guys, but you guys are much better and your kids are older too, which helps.

Yeah, And we say we're on our second marriage to each other because at the end of the day, it's a very different relationship now than we had previously. So and our you know, we didn't do another wedding, but in our own minds, this is our second marriage.

Where do you guys spend your time? Are y'all still everywhere?

I mean, we're you know, we're in Utah for about four months in the winter. We'll pop back in and out here and there. But you know, I used to spend the summer there, but now I really have been spending the summer in Europe, and then we'll spend the rest of our time between New York, LA and Miami.

Jeez, but are you more together now than you used to be? Because I think from what I understand your jobs, y'all, we're doing all this apart.

Yeah, And that's why this is actually working really well for us, is because we are able to be together.

You know.

Part of the reason we were apart so much is, you know, one was always traveling and the other wasn't. And now we're both just kind of traveling together and doing our best to coordinate as much as we can. I mean, i'd say we're together like eighty percent of the time now, which is pretty good.

That's huge. And it's funny. You mentioned something about the pandemic, and I think when we're all high on the hog and you get your money and you're doing your life and you're traveling. It's like you feel like not the grass is always greener somewhere else. But you got options, right, You're just life. Life's going, you're traveling, you're doing, and so you don't think about maybe the things that are

I was worried my family was spread out all over the country. I was like, what if there aren't flights, what if there's a gas shortage? So all I cared about was gas to make sure I could get everyone together.

You know how, like like every generation goes through something traumatic and crazy that causes them to be crazy about something. You know, you'll go to your grandparents' house and they'll have something weird and you're like, Grandpa, like, why do you have that? In the closet. It's like, well, back in my day, you know, when we have the dust bowl, and so our kids, like our grandkids are going to

Yes, so we started a podcast discussing relationships, not necessarily advice, because I don't feel that I'm befell for giving advice. I can only talk about my own experiences and you know, and ask others about theirs, and you know, hear about it. But it doesn't have to even be a romantic relationship. It can be about friendship, you know, parent, child, sibling, whatever.

So it's been really fun. Lauren and I do the show together quite often and we dive into these subjects as well. I found it quite cathartic. It is like therapy. We end up talking about a lot of things on the show, and then it often spills over into dinner where we will continue to have these conversations. Are you guys kind of finding the same revelation about being together and doing this podcast? Yeah? You know, it's actually funny.

Before before I came in here us on the phone with my mother and she was asking me about the podcast. I'm like, it's great, I said, I'm really enjoying it because you know, you're chit chatting and you're learning and you're exploring, and it's just and it's good for me and Seth because you know, it's forcing us to continue to talk about our relationship, our issues, concerns, what's going well, what's not, you know, and just stay.

Focused on what we need to be focused on. So maybe we'll get you on. It's I would love to be on with you too. All right, Well, what's the end of the podcast? Hanging by a Thread with Seth and Meredith Marx Hanging by a thread? That's I love that. It's been really interesting. The whole podcast thing in general is interesting. Just I find it very cathartic. I love talking to people. I always have, and it allows you, I think, doing stuff like this especially when we can

Few people that I have met in the Bravo world that like are not very nice.

You know.

It's like it's interesting. I think a lot of its circumstance. You know, you have your moments. Everybody is human.

We all do, and that's the beauty. I mean, we all we all having Hey, I'm I'm preaching the choir. I've definitely had my moments. But do you guys cross pollinate at all from like show to show other housewives, Like do you know, like, are you friends with some reason? I am? I am? Are you a fan of any of the other shows?

So I watched Bits and Pieces mainly to support the women that I like, because I'm not a big TV person. I never really have been a huge TV person, and so and now it's also you have to remember, like I go through this, so sometimes watching one of the other shows is very like triggering for me and not that pleasant.

Because you know what's really happening, you know. Yeah, yeah, so I watch Bits and Pieces.

I was on the last season of this past one of New York.

I'm sorry, it's just not I did watch one episode, Lauren, maybe no, I love my Ladies of Salt Lake City. I'm sorry, I'm loyal. Well they're new, give them a chance, I will. They were out in the Hamptons or something, and I was like, these aren't the fights I'm used to. This isn't Palm Springs. Yeah, wow, definitely not normal. That was on fire, So I'm speaking of that when you guys shoot the show or y'all months in advance? How far in advance y'all shooting before it hits Bravo?

Oh, well, we always always in the winter, so you know it ends up bearing it slightly definitely.

Going to cut, Like do you see the show? Like how soon do you know what's to come? Like, do you have any idea?

I just I've not seen anything beyond Tuesday's episode, so we usually just see it like a week shortly before, not even less than.

So that's that's got to be kind of anxiety written as well as you you have an idea of what's going to be shown, of what's happened, but you really don't know, so you guys are kind of finding out with us.

Yeah, I mean the thing is, it's like you you have a clue because you know what happened, and you also know what like follows through. You know, in the moment it may or may not you know, be shown, but if it's something that's been carried on through the whole winter, yeah you're going to see it, of course because it's a big part of the story. So you kind of know, but you don't really and even if you know, you don't know which parts you're going to

That's why it's good storytelling. They do a great job. Kudos. I don't know who the executive producers are, never met him, but kudos to the to the executive producers and all the producers and the crew of Salt Lake City. I'm a fan. It's shot well, it's produced well, edited well. The light I'm cause I dissect these shows to death and it's a great show. It's very well done, and you're such a huge integral part of it. Thank you. They can never get rid of you. That's the beauty.